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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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( Eerie music)
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(Whispered chanting)
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(Music intensifies)
5
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,029
Three 99s, please.
6
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,668
I'm staring. I'm staring at women.
7
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It's the heat, all the dresses.
It's driving me nuts.
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It's very hot. Too hot.
What's the temperature?
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No, I'm not 12.
10
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- No, go away!
- Only trying to be nice.
11
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Sorry, I'm tired.
I haven't slept in a week.
12
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My flat is suffocating.
13
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,315
- What's the temperature?
- Stop asking that, will you?
14
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- Mustn't stare.
- You don't stare at me.
15
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,076
You're my oldest friend.
16
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,038
Anyway, you look like
you just fell out of a tree.
17
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,076
Go home and get some rest.
18
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,073
I can't sleep there.
It's like the walls are closing in on me.
19
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,639
Look at her.
20
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,395
I bet she washes her hair
in streams and milks things.
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00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,393
She's not even sweating.
Has she not glands?
22
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,670
Jesus, it's 81 degrees. 81!
23
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,911
- Don't block the frock.
- But it might get to 88.
24
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,993
- And it can't. It can't!
- Shut up and have a cold bath.
25
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,829
I should get a girlfriend before
I turn into one of those freaks
26
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,435
- who just gawp at women.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna lie down.
27
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,756
Excuse me. Have you...?
28
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,034
- Oh.
- One for you too.
29
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,759
- You know what we want?
- We like different stuff.
30
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:02,391
You're going on holiday,
you want trash but different trash -
31
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,438
you women want social themes,
believable characters.
32
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,273
You want plots, suspense.
This'll do you both.
33
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,830
This temp's 29, she can't get
a boyfriend. Oh, my God.
34
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,354
- Sounds great.
- No way.
35
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,318
And she's got 12 hours
to stop a nuclear war.
36
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,356
- All right.
- One each, then.
37
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,396
(Snoring)
38
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,876
(Snoring continues)
39
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,992
Get out. Women think
you're my girlfriend. Go.
40
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,390
Just for a few hours.
In my place I lie there writhing
41
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,436
and sticky and glistening...
42
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,471
and summery friends
who know how to be outside.
43
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,109
She'll play tennis and
wear dresses and have bare feet.
44
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,795
And in the autumn I'll ditch her!
Cos she's my summer girl.
45
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,996
Come on, get up! Go home! Get up!
46
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,548
- (Grumbles sleepily)
- Bye-bye!
47
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,116
(Siren wailing)
48
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,389
(Creaking)
49
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,551
(Creaking)
50
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,635
(Grinding)
51
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,795
- (Crash)
- (Shrieks)
52
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,477
88. What's the big deal?
What happens to you?
53
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,516
- You don't wanna know.
- I do.
54
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,716
- No, you don't.
- Don't do that!
55
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,758
I want to know even more
if you tell me I don't.
56
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,796
Trust me, you don't wanna know.
57
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:10,031
Well, you don't wanna know
why I want to know.
58
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,315
- Oh? Why's that?
- Ha! See?
59
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,992
- I have a condition.
- What? What's it called?
60
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,196
Dave's syndrome.
61
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,352
You're making this up.
It's like your fudge thing.
62
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,396
You have to eat lots because...
63
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,436
Stops me going deaf.
64
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:30,229
Yeah, and the other one.
What... You only travel in vans.
65
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,153
No! The other way!
Never let me be put in a van!
66
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,198
It's rubbish! Attention-seeking rubbish.
67
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,316
Hi. Do you have a book...?
68
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,631
Thank you.
69
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,632
Would you like a cool one?
Lovely on a hot day.
70
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,199
Cool books?
71
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,589
Straight from the fridge.
72
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,716
Oh, thank you.
73
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,075
Ohhh...
74
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,355
Ohhhhh.
75
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,436
(Ding)
76
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,876
OK, if I told you that the walls of my flat
77
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,270
were actually moving in,
would you think I was strange?
78
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:12,592
No, I'd ask you to come round
and look after my small children.
79
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,593
If you don't believe me,
come round and we'll watch the wall.
80
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,912
No, we'll be watching the thermometer.
Won't we, Bernard?
81
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,436
It's an impossible choice -
walls, thermometers...
82
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,877
I'll just have to hope when I flip the coin
it explodes and kills me.
83
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,349
Fran! Hello. How's it going?
84
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,193
Might be a slight rent increase soon.
85
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,236
Price of light bulbs.
86
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,273
What's this - 2B?
There was never a 2B...
87
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,916
This is a new door.
88
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:59,399
You have moved my bloody wall
and put a room in.
89
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,517
You're funny, Fran! It's a Victorian house.
90
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,070
A lot of them were built
with redouble perspective.
91
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:09,675
You might think a room's
twice as big or small as it really is.
92
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,069
There was never a flat here.
93
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,789
It's the heat, love...
playing tricks with your mind.
94
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,474
No, don't. That's rude, love.
95
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,312
Hello.
96
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,392
Oh, hi. Are you in 2A?
97
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,075
I'm in 2. There is no 2A.
98
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:31,072
Oh, come on.
This flat's always been here.
99
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,516
Remember the Bracewells?
And the Guptas?
100
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,273
Little Sanjay with his trumpet practice.
101
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,750
Mr Marchman, I meant to ask you
to fix the peephole.
102
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:44,958
I can see into the flat from out here
but I can't see out.
103
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,952
- It's weird.
- Soon, love, soon.
104
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,794
Don't listen to him, he's making this up,
this is a new room!
105
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,395
- She's a bit...
- I am not a bit...
106
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,756
Would you like to have a coffee
and talk about this?
107
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,833
Oh, yeah. Coffee that I spilt,
you picked up with tweezers
108
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,229
and now you're gonna serve it to me.
109
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,869
OK, that was mad.
But the rest is true.
110
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:14,909
- I want my flat back!
- Girls, girls... girls.
111
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,275
You're both such lovely girls.
112
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,033
You'll be sharing sugar in no time.
113
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,509
Don't fight. And if you do,
114
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,559
fight nice with pillows and... jimjams.
115
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,796
The heating's on!
116
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,429
I want to see what happens
to you at 88 degrees.
117
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,592
- Don't do that again.
- You're making this up.
118
00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:01,639
I will have no malingerers in my shop.
Go and fetch my lolly.
119
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,636
It was the landlord.
120
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,917
He moved my wall and put in another flat
121
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,673
and now there is this woman
in my space.
122
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,513
- What's she like?
- Oh, you know the type.
123
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,070
They're all, "Helloooo," and "Hiiii."
124
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,157
She even asked me in for coffee.
A really clever bitch.
125
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,993
I think you should get a lawyer.
126
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,197
Expensive. Get someone
to pretend to be one.
127
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,670
Someone who's like a lawyer -
arrogant, cruel, crooked,
128
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,274
a liar, a real bastard,
that'd sort them out.
129
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,710
- No, I'm not doing it.
- Oh, go on.
130
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,110
When you get a girlfriend,
I'll give you a reference.
131
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,156
I'll lie for you, say you're OK.
132
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,633
All right. Deal.
133
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,831
(Buzzing)
134
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,798
(Grinding)
135
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,752
Not so fast.
136
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,549
I represent Fran Katzenjammer
from flat 2, she's my client,
137
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,518
and I'm a hotshot lawyer
like on television.
138
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,354
- So what's the problem exactly?
- My client's room is smaller.
139
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,396
It's illegal to steal space
140
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,029
under the European Act
of Legislation which happens...
141
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,712
in a court.
142
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:42,588
Her room's the same as always.
I've got the measurements.
143
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,194
- Don't evade the question.
- Eh?
144
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,829
- Just answer the question!
- What question?
145
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,672
Hmm? Oh. Sorry.
146
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,035
Where were you
when the rooms were measured?
147
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,556
- I was...
- Ha, ha, ha! Oh!
148
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,596
So where was the room?
149
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,240
2B's always been there,
you can see for yourself.
150
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,838
Damn right, before I send this building
downtown to the boys in the lab.
151
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,036
I'm sequestering these as evidence.
152
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:14,353
And I'm issuing you with
a decree of... sub... ju... dae. Subjudae!
153
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,149
You are under a legal subjudae
to stay there until...
154
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,276
Until such time as...
155
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,556
...Simon says, "Stand up".
156
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,596
- Hello?
- All rise. Hello.
157
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:43,639
I am Bernard Black from
Black Hingley &... Whoohoey Associates.
158
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,676
You're accused of space thievery.
159
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,751
- I've come to measure the room.
- Why?
160
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,796
Don't kid around, sister,
161
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,316
you could spend the next
20 years in the electric chair.
162
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,356
But I've done nothing wrong.
163
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,716
How could you? Look at you.
164
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,031
You're a summer flower.
Here, have a judge's bun.
165
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,670
Thank you. Come in. Look.
166
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,797
I don't understand her next door.
167
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,519
Oh, forget her. She's a mad bitch.
168
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,910
But I don't want to have to go to court.
169
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,956
Don't worry, I'll represent you.
170
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,952
Really, I wanted somewhere a bit bigger.
171
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,996
Maybe I'll just move.
172
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,036
Cos in the summer,
173
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:31,319
I like having a sense
of light and airiness and space.
174
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,634
You know, like something Georgian.
175
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,395
That's incredible.
Since you've been here it seems bigger.
176
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,471
Feng shui is nine-tenths of the law.
177
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,073
- What are you doing?
- I'm literally jumping for joy.
178
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,516
This is gonna be
the best summer yet. I love you.
179
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,591
- It is!
- (Banging)
180
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:02,912
Bernard, you arsehole!
(Muffled expletives)
181
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,834
Er, I'll call, OK? I've got to go.
Lengthy trial coming up,
182
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,673
I have to get wig extensions. OK? Bye.
183
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,156
You have no idea how easy it is
184
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,118
to get a girlfriend if you're me,
which you're not.
185
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,988
- It's 84 degrees!
- Relax, I got you a present.
186
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:42,629
The latest thing.
It actually sucks out your body heat
187
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,508
if you fill it with boiling water
and wear it all the time.
188
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,956
- And you will stay with me...
- I'm a boyfriend now,
189
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,759
I've got duties -
sighing and holding hands
190
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,796
and not finishing sentences.
191
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,190
You and the sun will
have to battle it out alone.
192
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,478
Excuse me. I bought this for
someone and they don't want it.
193
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:06,473
I was wondering if I could change it.
Maybe for the money.
194
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,876
Sand. Manny?
195
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,516
(Munches)
196
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,556
Sardinia, south.
197
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,633
Portoscuso. The little beach
by the old monastery.
198
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,314
- Get out.
- Damn.
199
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,552
You bastard! You nine-sided whore!
200
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,351
I had to, she was gonna leave!
201
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,557
I'm your oldest friend! And I can't sleep!
202
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,234
- It's just for the summer.
- Forget it.
203
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,232
I am going to have
blissful slumber tonight.
204
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,276
Forget your summer bunny.
205
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,477
Fran, he won't help me in the heat.
Can I stay with you?
206
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,120
There's no room!
207
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,311
Yeah, I know.
But there's two different kinds.
208
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,995
There's bad asbestos
and there's nice asbestos.
209
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,036
Anyway, it grows on you.
210
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,475
Yeah, don't worry. Bye!
211
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,596
Hello, Mr Landlord.
212
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,830
I've got a complaint.
213
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,480
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
214
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,596
It's my bed.
215
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,036
It's just too damn big for little me.
216
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,430
Your room's too small,
your bed's too big...
217
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,829
Look...
218
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,876
I think we can work it out...
219
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,476
in-in... in the bed.
220
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,710
I don't understand.
221
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,109
It's very simple. Look -
222
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,669
You're there, OK, and I'm there.
223
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,877
Or the other way around.
Don't care. Too tired.
224
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,952
Let me get this straight -
you're offering...
225
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,713
you are actually offering...
226
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,155
I am actually offering you me, yes.
227
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,595
Me. Yours. To enjoy.
228
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,989
Like an éclair or...
229
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,036
a day at the zoo.
230
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,917
Eh?
231
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,549
Sex! Sexy... sex!
232
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,552
Oh! Anything for a tenant!
233
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,552
When you put the room back
the way it was.
234
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,956
Should I bring this?
235
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,073
Mmm.
236
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:55,792
Bernard, this thermal jacket you bought
me isn't working. I feel quite warm.
237
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,350
Trust me, it's what
the astronauts use to keep cool.
238
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,749
- Is space hot?
- Of course it is!
239
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,628
Where else do you think
we get pineapples from?
240
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,030
I hope you're wearing
your Heat-B-Gone booties.
241
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,317
- Where are you going?
- Out. Courtship calls.
242
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,154
I'm getting Alice chocolate,
flowers, chocolate flowers,
243
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,437
florets of chocolate,
it's a truckload of woo.
244
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,990
It's 86 degrees, you can't leave me,
it might hit 88.
245
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,435
I'm scared, Bernard, please don't go.
246
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,876
Oh, you mustn't get to 88 degrees.
Why is that again?
247
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,111
- You don't wanna know.
- You're right, I don't.
248
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,112
Bernard, please!
Bernard, please, please!
249
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,953
Please don't leave me. Please, Bernard.
250
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:44,237
Please don't leave me. Please!
251
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,710
I'll tell you! I'll tell you
what happens at 88 degrees.
252
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,797
Oh! Oh, thank you.
253
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,836
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
254
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,275
Thank you, Bernard. Oh, bless you.
255
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,909
Thank you, Bernard, thank you.
Oh, thank you, Bernard.
256
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,956
- I forgot my wallet.
- What?
257
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,153
Oh... no! Please!
258
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,196
Please!
259
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,195
Aaaah.
260
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:17,319
No, the flat's great. No more trouble
from the mad neighbour.
261
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,439
But the lawyer guy who sorted it out,
he turns out to be a freak.
262
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,353
I can't move for
all the flowers he's sent.
263
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,635
Yes, and fancy presents.
264
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,632
And awful, awful poems.
265
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,915
Listen to this one.
266
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,231
"Think of a bee, you are its knees
267
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,153
"You waft through me
like a summer's breeze
268
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,674
"Can I come round Tuesday, please?"
269
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,716
I know. Terrible!
270
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,552
I know.
271
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,156
The wine's nice, though.
272
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,073
(Thunderous grinding)
273
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,675
Just a skirting board bolt.
274
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,878
Won't look like it's moving now.
Not that it ever did, mind.
275
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,916
Great, thanks.
276
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,276
This... other problem...
277
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:09,273
- Sorry?
- The difficulty with the bed.
278
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,796
Oh, no, the bed's fine. I love my bed.
279
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,836
We talked about the bed.
280
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,514
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
281
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,353
You must be thinking
about someone else.
282
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,956
It's been hot today,
and that can play tricks with your mind.
283
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,792
But...
284
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,836
I moved the wall back for you.
285
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,912
Don't be silly. The wall never moved.
286
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,956
- You said.
- Yeah...
287
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,793
Call you next time the toilet's blocked.
288
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,309
Er... Brrr! Brrrrr! Cold, cold.
289
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,914
Brrr, brrrr! Cold.
290
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,560
Not working!
291
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,030
86! 86 degrees!
292
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,076
Use the power of the mind.
Think of cold things!
293
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,150
Oh, no! A blizzard!
294
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,032
(Arctic wind noises)
295
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,680
I'd like a copy of Tempocalypse, please.
296
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,638
Go! Go away! Icy winds! Dangerous here!
297
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,676
- Go!
- Please, go on.
298
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,716
Oh, all right.
299
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,230
What? Where are the books?
300
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,395
(Low roar)
301
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,034
Oooh. (Puffs)
302
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,239
(Snarling)
303
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,073
(Bell rings)
304
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,469
(Snarling, sniggering)
305
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,039
(Bell ringing)
306
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,510
(Man screaming)
307
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,516
Bye, then!
308
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,352
Piss off!
309
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,236
- (Accordion chirps)
- Hello!
310
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,153
Come to serenade you.
I can't play guitar.
311
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,118
I can't play this either
but it might be less obvious.
312
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,156
So if you could look wistful...
313
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,959
- No, thanks. Goodbye.
- Where are you going?
314
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,712
Somewhere else.
315
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:26,031
I've had enough.
The flat's small, then it's huge,
316
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,271
now it's a closet
full of flowers and truffles.
317
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:31,954
- I am not interested. OK?
- But-but...
318
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,793
- Get lost!
- No, no!
319
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,155
My summer girlfriend doesn't get angry.
320
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,550
You laugh as we cycle
around the Cotswolds in a taxi.
321
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:46,111
You flick the cherry off the pie
just like Auntie Nibbs did.
322
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,156
What?
323
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,156
Freak.
324
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,196
Stop!
325
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,874
- Bernard.
- Stop! She's breaking the law!
326
00:21:56,960 --> 00:22:00,555
Forget it. She was never your girlfriend.
327
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,313
It's just the heat playing tricks
with your mind.
328
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,914
There's nothing wrong with my mind!
329
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,389
You're wearing an accordion.
330
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,155
(Squawks)
331
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,915
(Banging, accordion honking)
332
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,592
Listen, this whole thing,
we're old friends.
333
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,355
Don't you think it's about time
now that we admitted
334
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,512
that we're hugely attracted
to one another?
335
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,556
Just for the summer.
336
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,428
No, I don't. I think we should wait a bit.
337
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,954
Till when? Yeah?
338
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,871
Mmm... when?
339
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,316
Until at least one of us is dead?
340
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,715
- Let's get a drink, then.
- OK. But not at the shop.
341
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,234
I don't want to hear how hot Manny is.
342
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,471
What was the name he made up
for that condition?
343
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,551
I don't know. Some nonsense.
344
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,838
Blake's syndrome,
Blaine's syndrome, some rubbish.
345
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,480
( Eerie music)
346
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,873
(Metallic banging)
347
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,433
Yaaaaah!
348
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,034
(Roars)
349
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,069
Poor bloke.
350
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,916
Dave's syndrome.
351
00:23:36,000 --> 00:24:05,000
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352
00:24:05,050 --> 00:24:09,600
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