All language subtitles for Bewitched s01e14 Samantha Meets The Folks.eng

Ouch!

Aunt Clara!

Oh, Endora was right.
I should've travelled by bus.

You all right?

You know, I think I've been putting
on weight. I used to come down...

...through a chimney
as clean as a whistle.

Come on over here and sit down.

Over here. All right.

- Oh, yes.
- Oh, it's so nice to see you again.

Oh, and it's nice
to see you too, dear.

Oh, well. We'll have
a lovely weekend together.

- Weekend?
- Doorknobs are all very well...

...but they're not family.

- Aunt Clara.
- I count them when I'm Ionely.

But somehow, you know today,
they didn't seem to do the trick.

And then I remembered
the lovely invitation you gave me...

...to come here whenever I wanted to.

I see.

Where's that nice mortal
you're married to?

Darrin went to pick up his parents.

They're spending the weekend too.

Oh?

Oh, I picked a bad time for a visit.

Well, never mind,
I'll leave before they arrive.

No, you won't. Now, I haven't
met Darrin's parents.

It'd be kind of nice to have you
around for moral support.

Besides, we have plenty of room.

Now, you're sure
I won't be in the way?

Of course not, and I'd like
them to meet my favourite aunt.

Oh, you are a nice girl.

Now, why don't I show you to your
room and you can get cleaned up and...

...rest before you have to meet
Darrin and his parents.

No, I think I'll wait
for my bag and umbrella.

They weren't ready and packed
when I wanted to go.

So I just left them there.

Teach them a lesson.

I can't wait to see him. I hope
she hasn't let him lose weight.

He can't afford to lose weight.

Oh, he's probably
in the last stages of malnutrition.

You know that isn't what
I meant. Oh, there he is.

Oh, Darrin! Oh, Darrin.

Oh, it's too long for a son to be away
from his mother, much too long.

Marriage obviously agrees
with you, boy.

I've never seen you look better.
Have you, Phyllis?

Oh, he looks terrible. How can you say
he looks well? He looks terrible.

Have you been eating
the right foods, Darrin?

Oh, I feel great, Mom, honestly.

Never mind, I'll fatten you up...

...with some good home cooking
in a couple of days.

Meet my wife, the diplomat.

Now what did I say wrong?

There's our luggage.

Sam's a pretty good cook too, Mom.

- Sam?
- Samantha.

Oh, Samantha.
Oh, I'm sure she is, dear...

...and you know I'd cut off
my right arm rather than interfere.

I just thought I'd give her
a few tips, though.

Can she make chicken cacciatore?

No, Mom. No one can make
chicken cacciatore the way you can.

Oh, it's nice that there's something
you need your mother for.

Let's go. I'm anxious to meet
this bride of yours, Darrin.

- I bet she's something really special.
- Pop, you win your bet.

Oh, there you are.

I told you I wouldn't wait for you.

Well, don't stand there like that.
Come in, come in, come in.

Now, your room is
the second on the left.

I'll check dinner and be right up.

Oh, it smells good.

Pot roast.

I wanted to serve something
more exotic, but I thought...

...I ought to stay on safe ground.
- Exotic?

Yes, you know,
beef stroganoff, coq au vin...

...something that would really
impress Darrin's mother.

Don't you worry, dear.
I just know they're going to love you.

How can you be so sure?

I'm a witch.

I can't tell you how excited I was
when we heard that Darrin was married.

Fainted four times.
Four!

Oh, he's exaggerating, as usual.

Oh, I will admit that I was surprised,
but I'm not one of those mothers...

...who want to keep their children
tied to their apron strings.

Then why is everything
in Darrin's room bronzed?

Well, there's nothing wrong with being
sentimental. I think it's rather nice.

His tennis racket?

Why don't you two men
leave us alone...

...so I can get acquainted
with my daughter-in-law.

- Come on, I'll show you your room.
- Right.

You treat her well, now, Phyllis.
I like this girl.

Now we can talk.

I just wanted you to know that
you don't have to worry about me...

...being one of those
interfering mother-in-laws.

Why, I'd cut off my right arm first.

Well, I wouldn't want you to do that.

Of course, if you do need any help,
I'm always available.

That's nice to know.

Well, I do know a little more
about Darrin's habits than you.

So if there's anything
you want to know...

...anything at all, feel free to ask.

Darrin tells me you're a good cook.

Well, I'm still learning.

Oh, good.

That is, maybe I can give
you the recipes...

...for some of his
very favourite dishes.

Do you know how to make
pineapple upside-down cake?

No, I don't.

Then there are his hives.

I don't know how
to make those, either.

No, no, dear, that's an allergy.

It's a rash he gets.
I'll show you how to treat it.

Oh, I've cured that.

You cured his rash?

Oh, yes. We found out he only got it
when he ate chicken cacciatore.

I see.

My, this is a lovely room.

Did you...?

Did you have a decorator?

No, I did it myself.

Well, it's absolutely lovely.
I bet you can't wait to get it finished.

Finished?

Oh, really all it needs
is a few knickknacks to warm it up.

Darrin is used to that.
He always had them at home.

Oh, I've got more than enough.
I'll send you some when I get back.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Darrin, I was just telling Samantha
how lovely the room looks.

Yes, it does have nice, clean look.

I hate a room that's all cluttered
up with ornaments.

You know, we really don't know
very much about you, Samantha.

What did you do
before you married Darrin?

Well, I travelled a lot.

- With your family?
- Sometimes.

Do you get to see
much of your mother?

Oh, she pops in and out.

And what about the rest of your...

...family?

Hello, Aunt Clara.

Hello, everybody.

Come on, I want you
to meet everybody.

Aunt Clara, this is Mrs. Stephens...

...and Mr. Stephens.
- How do you do?

And that is Darrin.

This is an unexpected pleasure.

You haven't met Darrin before?

Oh, well I've met him,
but he hasn't met me.

In the flesh, I mean.

So to speak.

Aunt Clara is spending
the weekend with us too.

She is? I mean, she is?

Wouldn't you like to see
my doorknob collection?

Why, yes, l...

I beg your pardon?

- Aunt Clara collects doorknobs.
- I have 3000.

- Where'd you get them all?
- I don't remember...

...but there are a lot of people having a
heck of time trying to open their doors.

Samantha, could I speak
to you for a minute?

- When?
- Now.

Yes. Excuse me.

Maybe this will be a nice chance
for us to have a little chat.

Darling, I was just as surprised
as you were. I turned around...

...and she was sitting in the fireplace.
- She came down the chimney?

Well, darling, you can't
blame someone for being old.

She used to come through the wall,
same as everybody else.

- Oh, great.
- She's really very sweet.

I'm sure, darling. I'd love to
have her here any other time...

...but not this weekend.
My parents are plain, simple folks...

Darrin, Darrin, darling,
I can't ask her to leave.

I couldn't bear to see her hurt.
You can understand that, can't you?

- I suppose so, honey.
- I know it's inconvenient...

...but I'm sure your parents
will understand.

Besides, what possible
harm could she do?

Yes, I'm a witch. All my family are.

Sort of a family thing that has been
handed down, you know.

Bu the witch game is not
like it used to be. Oh, no.

Now there was a time when
you could cast a spell on someone...

...and they knew it. Not now.

No, not now.

- Well, now, take the Yankees.
- The Yankees?

Well, they lost two World Series
in a row, didn't they?

You put a spell on them.

Well, Bertha and me. Yeah.

Bertha and you?

Oh, well, I'm so glad you don't mind.

- Mind?
- About Samantha being one.

Samantha's a witch too?

Yes, yes, but she's trying
to get away from it.

Bothers Darrin.

Well, I think I'll go for a little fresh air,
if you don't mind.

Shan't be long.

Why, I used to go through a wall:
Just like butter.

I think I'll try the front door.

She's kind of cute, isn't she?

What about your sister Madge?

It's not the same thing at all.
Madge has a quirk, that's all.

Quirk? She thinks she's a lighthouse.

You call standing on the garage
roof when it rains...

...to warn ships at sea a quirk?

That woman believes she's a witch.

Now you can't tell me that's normal.

Well, Darrin isn't married to Clara,
and I think Samantha is a perfect wife.

Perfect? She can't even make
a pineapple upside-down cake.

What kind of a family
has poor Darrin married into?

Darrin, think
everything's going all right?

I don't know what you're so worried
about, Pop thinks you're great.

- Yes, but what about your mother?
- I'm sure she likes you too.

Obviously the flight upset her.
She's just not herself, that's all.

Well, I don't know, I just don't know.

I've a funny feeling
something's out of whack.

The only thing out of whack
is your Aunt Clara.

At least you know
where you stand with her.

Well, has Mom said anything?

Oh, no, of course not.
I know she's trying to be nice.

I've done everything
I can to please her.

Just don't know.
I have a funny feeling, that's all.

There's something wrong.

Hello, dears. Everything all right?

Yes, everything's ready.
Just keep your fingers crossed.

Oh, I don't believe in superstition.

I just know that everything
is going to be perfect.

Oh, dear. I better go empty
the ashtrays in the living room.

Sam...

Clara, Clara, don't goof this up.

Coq au vin.

Go away, chickie. Go away, chickie.
Go away, chickie.

Oh, now that's better.

Now for dessert,
pineapple upside-down cake.

It's been just my luck
if it came up right-side up.

I'm on a winning streak.

- Please sit down, Mr. Stephens.
- Fine.

Aunt Clara,
make yourself comfortable.

Hey, that smells great. What is it?

Pot roast. I would like to have served
you something, well, more exciting...

...but cooking really isn't one of my...

That's coq au vin.

Samantha.

- That's what it is, all right.
- Oh, it looks delicious.

I thought you said you couldn't cook.

Quite a sense of humour
this girl of yours has, Darrin.

Yeah, she keeps me laughing all day.

How'd you know
it was my favourite?

Oh, does Mrs. Stephens
cook it for you?

Cook it? She can't even pronounce it.
You must be a great cook.

Oh, you wait until you see the dessert
she's whipped up for you.

What is it, Samantha?

Maybe it should be a surprise.

Pineapple upside-down cake.

Well, Phyllis, I guess
you can stop worrying now.

Our boy couldn't be in better hands.

What's the matter?

I have a sick headache.

Been at it again, haven't you?

They'll hear you.

Zap, coq au vin!
Whap, pineapple upside-down cake!

I didn't make that food.

You promised me no witchcraft.

You said you were just
going to be yourself but...

You didn't? Well, who did?

I would say your prime suspect
is Aunt Clara...

...unless your mother's
holding out on us.

- What?
- She isn't a witch too, is she?

Let's leave my mother out of this.

No matter what you say, Darrin,
it was a delicious meal...

...and she hardly ate a mouthful.

Now, what can I do
to get her to like me?

Sam, let's just solve
one problem at a time.

I'll have a little talk
with Aunt Clara after dinner.

Now, Darrin. If you hurt her
feelings I'll never forgive you.

She was only trying to help.

Well, I'll just ask her to stop helping.

- Be tactful.
- Don't worry.

I'll tactfully tell her that the position
of house witch is already filled.

Come in.

Am I disturbing anything, Aunt Clara?

Oh, not at all, not at all.

No, I'm just polishing my doorknobs.

It must be quite a job,
keeping those clean.

Well, it keeps me
out of the pool halls.

That was quite a dinner
you whipped up.

Oh, I still know a trick or two.

That's what I wanted to talk
to you about, Aunt Clara.

You see, my mother and father,
they aren't used to...

...witchcraft.

You see that?

Now to a doorknob collector,
that's equivalent...

...to the Hope Diamond.

It's not that we don't appreciate
your trying to help.

Such a nice sparkle.

Yeah, I wouldn't have even
brought it up at all except that...

...my mother and father
just don't understand.

Do you understand
what I'm saying, Aunt Clara?

Oh, it's nice of you to look
at my doorknob collection.

Not many young people care
about that sort of thing nowadays.

Come on, bag.

We must go.

Did you talk to Aunt Clara?
You didn't upset her, did you?

- She didn't seem to be upset.
- Did she understand?

It's hard to tell with Aunt Clara.

I think I better go up and see her.

I thought I'd give you
a hand with the dish...

Oh, you've already done them.

Isn't there anything I can do?

Nothing at all, Mom.
Sam has done it all.

You should get the Good Housekeeping
Seal of Approval, Samantha.

Thank you. I'll be right back.

Darrin, are you happy?

What? Of course, Mom.

Now, if there is anything you want
to tell me about, I'm always here.

I've never been happier in my life.

Any problem at all, no matter
how large or how small.

Just because you're married doesn't
mean you can't come to your mother.

Mom, I don't have any problems.

Well, that's all right.

If you don't want to tell me
about it, that's fine with me,

- I'd cut off my right arm...
- Phyllis, leave the boy alone.

Now, hasn't a mother the right
to ask if her son is happy?

Who wouldn't be happy
married to a dream like Samantha?

She's a lovely girl, all right.

Why've you been trying to find fault
with her ever since we arrived?

- That's not true.
- I mean, what do you want?

She's beautiful, she's talented...

...she's even-tempered
and she's a great cook.

- I agree.
- Then there's no argument.

- Then there's no argument.
- All right!

If there's no argument,
why are you yelling at each other?

- What'd you do to Aunt Clara?
- I didn't do anything.

You must've said something insulting,
or she wouldn't have left.

- Sam, do we have to...?
- Darrin, you promised to be tactful.

- Must we discuss this in front of them?
- Yes.

Aunt Clara is a guest
in this house too.

You may not like it,
but she's my family.

Really, Samantha.
There's no need to...

...take it out on Darrin.
- Shut up, Phyllis.

I told you it's not my fault she left.

Yes, it is. If you hadn't been annoyed
Aunt Clara made the dinner...

...none of this would've happened.

She cooked dinner?

Yes, she did.

You may as well know it right now,
I'm not a very good cook.

You're not?

No, I'm not.

I can't make coq au vin
or pineapple upside-down cake...

...or any of those fancy dishes.

- Samantha.
- It's no use, Darrin.

I cannot pretend
to be something I'm not.

And I won't stand here
and see Aunt Clara hurt.

I don't blame you.

What did you say
to that nice old lady?

- I didn't say any...
- You be quiet.

- Go on, dear.
- Well, that's just about it.

I wanted you to think I was the
perfect wife for Darrin, and...

...Aunt Clara thought
she was helping me.

The fact is, I'm not very good
at housekeeping yet.

If you like me any less
for that, I'm sorry...

...but you just have to accept me
as I am, faults and all.

Samantha, you don't know
how happy you've made me.

What are you crying about?

What do you men
know about anything?

What's going on here?

I didn't want you to be perfect, dear.

Well then, why did you
act as if you did?

Because I'm a silly old woman
who was afraid she'd be...

...pushed aside and forgotten.

And you seem so self-sufficient
and so good at everything.

I just thought I wouldn't
be needed anymore.

Do you understand?

Yes, I do.

- I'll go find Aunt Clara.
- She's at the bus station.

- How do you know?
- I asked her umbrella.

Good thinking, I'll be
back in a few minutes.

Well, I hope he finds her.

You asked her what?

Oh, a family joke.
I just have a hunch she's there.

Maybe Aunt Clara is right.
You are a witch after all.

I am.

But don't spread it around.

It'll be our secret.

Oh, Darrin. You don't really think that
I bronzed your tennis racket, do you?

Of course not, Mom,
I knew Pop was kidding.

However, I did bronze your shoes.

Your football shoes.
We're using them for bookends.

- Would you girls like a little magic?
- Frank, for heaven's sake.

We'll show you a little trick here.

Aunt Clara, take a card out
of the deck. Just any card, go on.

Take it out and then look at it,
put it back in. Don't let me see it now.

Let me see. All right.

- You got it.
- Yep.

Put it back in, now.

Anywhere, just anywhere. Right.

Alrighty now, let's see.

Your card is the...

It's funny. It's always worked before.

You'll find it in your
topcoat pocket.

Now, how did you do that?

I'm a witch.

Oh, well, now, I think I'll
go for my little constitutional.

You mind if we walk along with you?

Walk?

Well, that might be nice for a change.

You know, the next time we come
I must bring my sister Madge along.

She and Clara would have a ball,
wouldn't they, Frank?

Oh, dear.

They really seem to have
hit it off, haven't they?

They sure have. And they think
you're the greatest.

That's nice.

Well, it's as I said. All you
had to be was yourself.

You're right, darling.

Samantha.

You said I should be myself.

I take it all back.

Maybe my folks aren't ready
for the real you yet.

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