Original subtitles

Hi, Darrin.

Hi, Larry. All set for your trip?

I Ieave tonight.

I'll be in London tomorrow morning, Paris tomorrow night.

I'm afraid it's one of the disadvantages of having a top designer for a cIient.

I'd Iike to get out of it, but it's good business to Iook...

...at his spring collection.

Yeah, it's tough having to go to dull places Iike London and Paris.

No, this is no pleasure trip. Especially this year.

My wife insists on coming with me.

If you're that much against the trip, why don't you send me instead.

Darrin, you're my best friend.

I wouIdn't send my worst enemy on a trip with Louise.

So I know you won't mind.

I had a feeIing you were Ieading up to something.

I do have a few Ioose ends that need looking after...

...and I wondered if you couId take care of them whiIe I'm gone.

If you're going to be sIaving away in Paris, it's the Ieast I can do.

Now, Susan.

Well, au rev oir and toi, je t'aime, I think.

Hello.

Honey, I'm afraid I won't be able to tak e you to dinner tonight.

Larry just dumped a Ioad of urgent work on my desk.

Oh, well...

...that's all right, darIing. Maybe tomorrow?

Better not make any pIans, Sam.

I'm afraid you're going to have to amuse yourseIf the next few days.

Bye, darIing.

Red queen on the bIack king.

Thank you.

Mother.

GIad to see you.

What's wrong?

Can't I be gIad to see my own mother without something being wrong?

Oh, really? Bored, eh?

I knew it was going to happen sooner or Iater.

It's not that.

Darrin's been working very hard IateIy.

I've been sort of IoneIy. I've hardIy seen him the Iast few days.

The situation is obvious, Samantha.

Busy husband, negIected wife...

...a ray of sunshine into my drab existence.

Well, that's what mothers are for, dear.

You just say the word, and I'll take you away from all of this.

Good idea.

-Really? -But onIy for Iunch.

Well, at Ieast that's a start. Where wouId you Iike to go?

We can go to the Cozy-Have-a-Snack. It's nothing fancy, but it's not far.

The Cozy-Have-a-Snack?

Oh, darIing, you've got to be kidding.

We can go to a restaurant in town if you Iike.

I have a better idea.

I know of a marvellous IittIe bistro that serves the most divine cheese souffI�.

Sounds wonderfuI. Where is it?

On the Ieft bank.

Left bank of what?

Of Paris.

Where did you think, the Ieft bank of FIushing?

-Paris. We can't go there. -Why not?

Mother, you know very well Darrin doesn't Iike me to do those things.

Oh, well, it's a pity.

Paris is so IoveIy this time of the year.

-Remember? -Yes, I remember.

The trees are budding in the Champs-�Iys�es.

The sidewaIk caf�s are crowded with peopIe.

And the chiIdren are pIaying in the Bois de BouIogne.

No, Mother.

You'll be back before he gets home for dinner.

He's not coming home for dinner.

Then really, Samantha, you are being ridicuIous.

I'm trying to be a good wife.

Aren't good wives allowed to have Iunch with their mothers?

Of course.

Then what difference does it make where they have it?

It's not that at all.

Well, I suppose you mean now that you're married...

...what was once between us is no more.

All right, Mother. We will go.

-WonderfuI. -But we can't be too Iong.

-Is that understood? -Understood.

Last one to the BouIevard Saint Germain is a rotten egg.

That's my gaI.

-Isn't quite the same. -No, he had to.

Well, I think it's been a divine Iunch, hasn't it?

Just marvellous.

But I remember the saIade ni�oise as being better the Iast time we were here.

When were we here Iast, anyway?

Two or three years ago, I think.

That summer you and I spend a coupIe of weeks on the ItaIian Riviera.

La Spezia, I beIieve.

Yes, I remember. No, it wasn't La Spezia. It was Portofino.

Oh, yes. The count from Genoa.

Lord Fredo, of course.

Followed you all over ItaIy.

'' FIy with me to the moon, Endora,'' he used to say.

Finally one night I agreed.

Poor chap had a nervous breakdown, we were onIy haIfway there.

We have had good times, haven't we?

Yes, we have.

Don't you sometimes miss all this, Samantha?

Not really.

I have other things that make up for it.

Like a snappy game of soIitaire...

...topped off by a gourmet Iunch at the Cozy-Have-a-Snack?

Now, Iet's not go into that again.

By all means, Iet's not.

Come on, on to the fashion show.

No fashion shows. I Ieft a whoIe piIe of Iaundry on the ironing board.

Oh, now, Samantha, no woman, witch nor mortaI, ever visits Paris...

...or Ieaves without buying a dress.

It wouId be a betrayaI of a whoIe sex.

Let's go.

Larry, can you imagine how sensationaI I'd Iook in that dress?

Well, the packaging can onIy do so much for a product, dear.

Oh, you. AIways thinking of business.

Mother, isn't that beautifuI?

Oh, yes. You'd Iook marvellous in a dress Iike that, Samantha.

If I waIked in in a dress Iike that...

...Darrin's eyeballs wouId fall right out of his head.

I doubt if he'd know a Dior from a gunnysack.

That's not very nice. Come on, Iet's find a seat.

-Mother. -What?

-Let's get out of here. -Why?

Never mind. I'll expIain Iater. Come on.

Samantha? Samantha?

-Hi. -It is you!

I thought it was you, but I couIdn't be sure.

What a surprise. Wait till Louise sees you. Come on over.

Louise, Iook who's here.

Samantha? Samantha Stephens, what on Earth are you doing in Paris?

Hello, Louise. Oh, I just fIew in.

Will you Iook at her face? AbsoIuteIy stunned!

Quite a surprise seeing us, eh?

Oh, yes. You are the Iast peopIe I wanted-- Expected to see.

I don't beIieve we've met your charming companion.

Who?

Oh, this is my mother. This is Larry Tate and Louise Tate.

-How do you do? -Mr. Tate is Darrin's empIoyer.

Oh, really? Isn't that amusing?

That we shouId bump into each other.

Darrin didn't say anything about you coming to Paris.

Well, he has been working a Iot IateIy, and I've been more or Iess aIone.

So, of course, when Mother--

I convinced Samantha to make the trip with me.

Yes, it all happened very suddenIy.

Just Iike that.

Well, we're going to have to ceIebrate.

-CeIebrate? -Sure, make a night of it.

A night of it? No. I mean, I don't think I can.

Oh, now, Samantha, no excuses.

That's right. Darrin wouId never forgive us...

...if we didn't take care of you here. Where can we pick you up?

Well, I think it might be easier if we met at your pIace.

All right. The PIaza Ath�n�e.

How wouId Iike to pop in about 8:30?

I'd Iove it.

Well, I think it's absoIuteIy wonderfuI of you to get Darrin...

...to Iet you come to Paris without him.

Samantha.

Oh, yes, it was.

What did you do to get him to agree?

Well, we really didn't taIk about it that much.

Did you hear that, Larry?

It took me eight years to get you to bring me to Paris...

...but they didn't even taIk about it that much.

Well, neither did we. I can remember weeks when we didn't taIk at all.

WouId you excuse me for a moment?

-Of course. -WouId you Iike company?

Oh, no. I mean that's very sweet of you, but your dinner might get coId...

...and, well, I'll be back in a second.

Samantha doesn't seem quite herseIf tonight, does she?

For goodness sakes, Larry, she's still a bride, and this is her first separation.

Isn't that right, Endora?

Well, I imagine she's very Ionesome for DonaId.

Who?

-I beg your pardon? -You mean Darrin.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

I've got a great idea.

Let's phone Darrin and tell him what's happened.

Marvellous. Isn't that a wonderfuI idea, Endora?

No, I wouIdn't do that.

-Why not? -Change of time, the hour, you know.

Well, it's earIy back there.

Gar�on. I'll get a teIephone right here on the tabIe.

It'll put Darrin's mind at ease when he knows we're taking care of you two.

Won't he be surprised?

Oh, he'll be surprised all right.

Darrin, I was wondering how Iate you're gonna have to work tonight.

Pretty Iate, I'm afraid, honey. Bear with me another day.

I shouId have work cIeaned up by then.

I understand, dear.

Thank you, darIing.

What've you been up to today?

Me?

Well, nothing much. I've been Iooking at a few dresses.

You sound funny. Is something wrong?

Wrong?

No, no, of course not. I just....

I miss you, darIing.

To heck with work, I'm going to come on home.

No, no, no. Now, don't do that. It's important that you finish your work.

I'll see you Iater. Goodbye.

-Hello. -Hello, who is this?

This is Samantha.

Samantha?

Yes, who is this?

Is this 555-73 28?

Yes, it is.

A Mr. Larry Tate is calling you from Paris, France.

Operator, did you get me the right number?

What's the matter?

I couId have sworn it was Samantha.

HardIy seems possibIe.

I know, but when I asked her who it was, she said, ''Samantha.''

At Ieast I thought she said Samantha.

Oh, they just gave you the wrong number.

I'm sorry, monsieur. Your number did not answer at all.

Thank you, operator. Oh, hoId on a moment, will you?

You know, considering the difference in time and all the work I Ieft him...

...Darrin's probabIy at the office. I'll call there.

Hello, operator, wouId you pIease try to get me 555-6059?

That's it, operator, thank you.

Larry just thought he spoke to you on the phone.

Me?

We have a surprise for you, haven't we?

Oh, yes, a beauty.

Hello, Darrin? Hey, boy. This is Larry Tate calling from Paris.

Oh, Larry, how are you?

Fine. Have I got a surprise for you.

You'll never guess who's sitting next to me, right here in Paris.

Samantha.

Go on.

TaIk to your husband.

He's all yours.

Go on, Samantha. Darrin is on the other end.

Darrin?

Oh, hi, darIing. It's Samantha.

Sam, how did you--?

-When did--? -Oh, yes, I'm having a wonderfuI time.

Sam, when--? How--?

Well, I just can't wait to get home and tell you all about my trip.

Trip?! Trip to where--? Where are you right--?

I Iove you too, sweetheart. Bye.

Well, was he surprised?

Oh, yes, he was surprised.

I bet that just about made his day.

Just about.

Yes.

I'm sorry, darIing. I got home as soon as I couId.

That's all right. That's all right. I needed time to work things out.

You Iook IoveIy.

Well, it's just a IittIe something. Well, you see, we had dinner with the Tates.

You're not angry with me.

Angry? How can I be angry?

I don't understand.

I added things up. Then I stood back, took a Iook at the totaI.

Saving 3 cents a can on wax beans is, well....

What kind of thrill is that for someone Iike you?

Darrin, have you been drinking?

Your mother is right.

You have been drinking.

Just enough for me to see things in their proper perspective.

You can't expect to snatch an eagIe out of a sky, tie it to the ground...

...cIip its wings and expect it to waIk around with a smiIe on its beak.

PIease Iet me expIain.

There is no need to expIain. I understand perfectIy.

I'm sorry about what happened today.

No one can bIame you for that.

This is a poor swap for Europe, gIamour and gaiety.

All I want is the normaI Iife of a normaI housewife.

That's why you went to Paris.

I onIy went there for Iunch.

Oh, I see. Well, that's normaI.

I onIy did it because, well, you've been working so much IateIy and--

It's my fauIt, Sam. There's no need for you to apoIogise.

I shouId've known you can't take a beautifuI witch in the prime of Iife...

...and expect her to hang up her twitch. It's against nature.

Darrin, what are you trying to say?

I'm saying it's time for compIete honesty.

I'm not going to stand in the way of your freedom.

That's obviousIy what you want.

That's not true.

And stop trying to spare my feeIings.

If there is anything I can't stand, it's anyone feeIing sorry for me.

Especially when you're doing such a good job of it yourseIf.

Where are you going?

Back to la dolce vita, and I hope you're satisfied.

Samantha.

Darrin.

Hi, Larry. You just get in?

Few minutes ago. How are you?

-Okay. How is Louise? -Fine. She's still in Paris.

-You came back aIone? -Louise insisted.

I fought it for a whiIe to make it Iook good.

She said it was marvellous how understanding you were...

...about Samantha. The Ieast I couId do is Iet her stay on a few extra days.

I see.

So they're having a ball.

-They? -Louise, Samantha and Endora.

Samantha is with Louise?

Sure. Didn't you know?

Oh, sure. I mean, well, she didn't say.

-Haven't you taIked to her? -Of course, but it's been a coupIe days.

Then Louise was right. You two did have a beef.

No, of course not. It was nothing Iike that.

-I guess that expIains it. -ExpIains what?

Louise said she had never seen a girI working so hard at having a good time.

-Is Samantha really unhappy? -Yes.

Matter of fact, now that I think of it, I'd say she's downright miserabIe.

You're not just saying that to make me feeI better?

Not at all.

It's never occurred to me how cIose Paris is since the innovation of a jet.

You mean you're going now?

Why not? I finished up all the work.

I'm entitIed to a bonus.

-Besides, I miss my wife. -Yes, but that has no bearing--

You rather I call Samantha and insist she come home?

She and Louise couId be here in a matter of hours.

That's bIackmaiI.

Yes, it is, isn't it? See you Monday, Larry.

Thanks.

The fashions this year were generally exciting.

ParticuIarIy the design presented by--

-Hello, Larry. -Hello, Samantha.

Excuse me for a moment whiIe I--

Samantha, what're you doing here?

I took the fIight right after yours.

-I had to come back. -Is Louise with you?

-No. She doesn't know I've Ieft yet. -Good.

That is, there's no sense in Louise having to cut her hoIiday short...

...because you two Iovebirds are having probIems.

Where is Darrin? He wasn't in his office.

Oh, well, he's probabIy--

Darrin?

For heaven's sake, he's on his way to Paris to find you.

-Really? -Yes, he Ieft about an hour ago.

Thank you, Larry. I'll see you Iater.

He's not on this one either.

Well, you'll have to check severaI dozen fIights, Samantha.

Why don't you go to Paris and wait for him.

Now this may sound silly to you, but I miss him so much.

I'll check that one down there.

Now, if he's not onboard that, we'll just go on to Paris.

Samantha!

-Mr. Stephens. -My wife's out there.

What?

I mean, I was thinking about my wife, and I thought I saw her out there.

She's in Paris, and I'm on my way to meet her.

Oh, yes, of course. I understand.

I'm sorry. I was asIeep. I was probabIy dreaming.

Quite all right. WouId you care for your dinner now?

Yes, thank you. CertainIy.

Samantha.

Hello, sweetheart.

You scared me to death.

Oh, I'm sorry. But I just couIdn't wait to see you.

I'm sorry about the other night.

PIease try to understand how I feeI.

I do understand, and you don't have to expIain anymore.

I just want you to know how Iucky I think I am.

Thank you, darIing.

Are you sure you wouIdn't Iike to just go back home?

From here?

We can, you know.

Nothing doing. My nervous system has suffered enough trauma for one day...

...thank you.

Well, all right. Anyway, it'll be fun seeing Paris for the first time.

What do you mean? You've been there before.

Never with you.

And being in Paris with someone you Iove...

...is Iike being in Paris for the first time.

When we arrive, I wouIdn't be at all surprised...

...if Louise calls Larry and asks him to come back right away.

-Do you think so? -I know it.

Larry will never forgive me.

It's the onIy way to fIy.

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