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1
00:00:00,769 --> 00:00:03,075
- Previously on Awkward...
- It's you.
2
00:00:03,077 --> 00:00:04,210
It's over, Tamara.
3
00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,644
Jake, no.
4
00:00:05,646 --> 00:00:06,811
I'll see you then.
5
00:00:06,813 --> 00:00:08,012
That girl's
a straight-up creeper.
6
00:00:08,014 --> 00:00:09,448
I left because what happened
to you up there
7
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:10,815
was kind of rough.
8
00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:17,718
I couldn't figure out
standard deviations
9
00:00:17,794 --> 00:00:19,824
for the life of me,
but there was one formula
10
00:00:19,826 --> 00:00:21,159
I was finally getting
the hang of--
11
00:00:21,161 --> 00:00:23,194
the formula for moving on.
12
00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:25,363
One spectacular senior year
with my friends
13
00:00:25,365 --> 00:00:26,965
plus one amazing new boyfriend
14
00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:30,635
minus absolutely zero
lingering feelings for Matty
15
00:00:30,637 --> 00:00:32,871
equals me ready to start
a new chapter in my life.
16
00:00:34,406 --> 00:00:38,342
Okay, babe, break time's over.
17
00:00:38,344 --> 00:00:41,145
Back to the riveting world
of statistics.
18
00:00:41,147 --> 00:00:42,546
So for each number
in the formula,
19
00:00:42,548 --> 00:00:44,749
you subtract the mean
and do what?
20
00:00:44,751 --> 00:00:47,551
I have no idea.
Want to make out?
21
00:00:47,553 --> 00:00:48,486
Uh-huh.
22
00:00:52,123 --> 00:00:54,224
Hey, kids, do you want
some desser--
23
00:00:54,226 --> 00:00:55,626
- Jesus!
24
00:00:55,628 --> 00:00:58,128
Someone needs
a tutorial on knocking.
25
00:00:58,130 --> 00:00:59,196
I am so sorry, sweetie.
26
00:00:59,198 --> 00:01:00,430
I'm just gonna be a bad parent
27
00:01:00,432 --> 00:01:01,932
and pretend I didn't see
any of this.
28
00:01:01,934 --> 00:01:03,733
Just promise me
you'll be careful,
29
00:01:03,735 --> 00:01:04,734
because if you've learned
one thing
30
00:01:04,736 --> 00:01:05,869
from your father and me,
31
00:01:05,871 --> 00:01:07,304
it's that it only takes
one thrust
32
00:01:07,306 --> 00:01:09,106
for someone to become
a teen mom.
33
00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:13,276
That is so embarrassing.
34
00:01:13,278 --> 00:01:14,411
[Clears throat]
35
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:16,446
Now, where were we?
36
00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:17,681
Uh, it's getting pretty late.
37
00:01:17,683 --> 00:01:19,816
Should we just pick this up
next time?
38
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:20,983
Good idea.
39
00:01:20,985 --> 00:01:22,819
No more distractions.
40
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:25,288
It's been a pleasure
being your math tutor.
41
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:28,257
I accept payment in the form
of Visa, MasterCard,
42
00:01:28,259 --> 00:01:31,027
or, in your case,
a really excellent kiss.
43
00:01:31,029 --> 00:01:33,830
My formula for moving on
seemed to be working out great.
44
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,031
When I kissed Luke,
45
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:37,300
all I saw was my present
and my future...
46
00:01:37,302 --> 00:01:40,236
and Matty?
47
00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:43,139
On second thought, maybe
I needed to get my eyes checked.
48
00:01:43,141 --> 00:01:46,809
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:01:46,811 --> 00:01:48,910
Hey.
50
00:01:48,912 --> 00:01:51,012
- Sorry to interrupt.
- Matty, right?
51
00:01:51,014 --> 00:01:52,348
Great to meet you.
I'm Luke.
52
00:01:52,350 --> 00:01:54,115
Yeah, I know.
Hey.
53
00:01:54,117 --> 00:01:55,884
Matty, what are you doing here?
54
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:59,020
I thought you'd be on lockdown
after the Mr. PHHS pageant.
55
00:01:59,022 --> 00:02:00,155
Yeah, I'm grounded for life,
56
00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:01,523
but what are they gonna do,
57
00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:02,891
add another day
for sneaking out?
58
00:02:02,893 --> 00:02:05,426
Anyway, I'm here on business.
59
00:02:05,428 --> 00:02:08,096
Oh, the BF/GF/BFF concert.
60
00:02:08,098 --> 00:02:11,066
BF/GF/BFF is the name
of a band?
61
00:02:11,068 --> 00:02:13,001
No, it's not.
It's a--
62
00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:14,169
Never mind.
63
00:02:14,171 --> 00:02:16,171
I'm sorry.
I forgot about this.
64
00:02:16,173 --> 00:02:17,572
Same.
65
00:02:17,574 --> 00:02:19,574
No clue what Jake and Tamara
are doing with theirs,
66
00:02:19,576 --> 00:02:21,942
but I figured
you could have mine and--
67
00:02:21,944 --> 00:02:24,345
I don't know--
take Luke if you want.
68
00:02:24,347 --> 00:02:27,982
Thanks, man, but I have
midterms this weekend.
69
00:02:27,984 --> 00:02:30,351
Why don't you guys
just go together?
70
00:02:30,353 --> 00:02:31,786
Seriously?
You wouldn't mind?
71
00:02:31,788 --> 00:02:33,153
Not at all.
72
00:02:33,155 --> 00:02:34,955
You shouldn't miss a show
you already paid for.
73
00:02:34,957 --> 00:02:36,723
I am down if you are.
74
00:02:38,193 --> 00:02:39,593
Sure.
Why not?
75
00:02:39,595 --> 00:02:42,662
It was great being with
a secure, mature college guy.
76
00:02:42,664 --> 00:02:44,431
Only some high school spaz
would make
77
00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:47,334
a big deal out of a couple
of stupid concert tickets.
78
00:02:47,336 --> 00:02:50,437
These concert tickets
are a big freakin' deal, Rosati!
79
00:02:50,439 --> 00:02:52,005
You don't even deserve
to look at them!
80
00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,206
Oh, okay, I can't look at them.
81
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,240
No, you can't look at them.
82
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,543
- Ugh.
- This footage is fantastic.
83
00:02:56,545 --> 00:02:57,677
Why are you guys filming this?
84
00:02:57,679 --> 00:02:58,879
We're making
a documentary called
85
00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:00,414
Straight People Are Basic.
86
00:03:00,416 --> 00:03:01,981
You'd be so great in it!
87
00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:03,349
Oh, no, no.
88
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,584
Good luck with that.
89
00:03:04,586 --> 00:03:06,686
Would anyone be interested
90
00:03:06,688 --> 00:03:09,588
in either Jake
or Tamara's ticket to Echosmith?
91
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,257
There's no way
they're both going.
92
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:13,927
Oh, pick me.
Pick me, please.
93
00:03:13,929 --> 00:03:16,262
Oh, please, Hamiltacky.
94
00:03:16,264 --> 00:03:18,398
Even if Austin and I
didn't already have tickets,
95
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,099
I'd never be desperado enough
96
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:22,501
to take your friends'
sloppy seconds.
97
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:25,137
I believed you when you said
you had three pet dingoes
98
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:26,906
and a vacation home
in the Outback!
99
00:03:26,908 --> 00:03:28,874
Do you know how humiliating
that is?
100
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,877
- OMG, did you hear that?
- Hear what?
101
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,613
That's the sound of me
not giving a flying fuck.
102
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,815
All: Oh.
103
00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,083
Thank God we were never
that bad.
104
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,618
I'm sorry you had
to see Luke and I
105
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,219
mid-make-out last night.
106
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,821
Well, Jenna, it's not like
it was the first time.
107
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:45,623
Ouch.
Totally true, but ouch.
108
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,859
Luke seems like
a good guy, though.
109
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,062
I'm really happy for you.
110
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,930
[Sighs]
111
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,933
It is hard to find a person
of quality around here.
112
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,168
Trust me.
113
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,936
You know, maybe
I'll write another song
114
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,972
and call it My Crazy Ex TalksLike A Speed Freak
115
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,574
No JK, LOL.
116
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,177
How are you gonna do that
without your precious harmonica?
117
00:04:10,282 --> 00:04:11,415
All: Oh!
118
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,316
Aw.
119
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:16,220
I didn't do anything wrong,
except date a psychopath
120
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,955
who can do a convincing
Australian accent.
121
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:21,025
When you speak,
I want to die, just FYI.
122
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,494
Stop it! Stop it!
You've both been acting crazy.
123
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,496
It is time that you learn
a thing or two
124
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:28,932
from your friends/model exes
Jenna and Matty.
125
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,767
These two have managed
126
00:04:30,769 --> 00:04:32,536
to maintain the peace
even after Jenna
127
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:34,337
cruelly cheated on him
128
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:36,740
and fell down
a rabbit hole of sin.
129
00:04:36,742 --> 00:04:38,909
Smash-cut to the brutal irony
of this year--
130
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:41,111
Jenna is now dating
a hot college stud,
131
00:04:41,113 --> 00:04:43,179
and Matty
is still single and alone.
132
00:04:43,181 --> 00:04:44,548
I'm-- I'm fine, actually.
133
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,549
Shh.
Don't speak.
134
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:46,817
What I'm trying to say
135
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,019
is that these two
have a million reasons
136
00:04:49,021 --> 00:04:50,586
why they should be
putting up their dukes
137
00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:52,422
in the quad,
but they are choosing
138
00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:53,423
to be mature.
139
00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:54,991
Fine.
You want maturity?
140
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:57,360
I'm giving up my ticket.
Have fun at the concert.
141
00:04:57,362 --> 00:04:59,062
Yay!
That means I win.
142
00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:01,231
Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop!
143
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:03,533
Do you guys, uh, know anyone
144
00:05:03,535 --> 00:05:05,200
who might want Jake's ticket?
145
00:05:05,202 --> 00:05:08,137
'Cause I think I know a girl
who could really use
146
00:05:08,139 --> 00:05:10,439
a night of love, laughter,
and music.
147
00:05:12,308 --> 00:05:13,943
Talking about me.
148
00:05:13,945 --> 00:05:15,477
Val was right.
149
00:05:15,479 --> 00:05:17,547
It wasn't fair that I was in
a solid relationship with Luke
150
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,081
while Matty
was getting hit on by girls
151
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:20,949
who didn't even know
how to spell "monogamy."
152
00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:22,651
He deserved better.
153
00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:23,919
Now that my ex has exed himself
154
00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:25,787
out of our plans,
who should we invite?
155
00:05:25,789 --> 00:05:26,988
I'm cool with whoever.
156
00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:29,658
I'll see you guys later.
157
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:31,626
This is gonna sound weird,
158
00:05:31,628 --> 00:05:34,596
but I kind of wish Matty had
a girl to bring to the concert.
159
00:05:34,598 --> 00:05:36,465
Hold the iPhone.
What are you talking about?
160
00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:39,000
Seeing Matty move on
like I have would make me happy.
161
00:05:39,002 --> 00:05:40,268
I call bluffnanigans, Jenna.
162
00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:42,336
No one wants to see their ex
date other people.
163
00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:44,673
- I do. I want Matty to date.
- Really?
164
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,941
Well, if you're so sure,
165
00:05:45,943 --> 00:05:47,341
why don't you set him up
yourself?
166
00:05:47,343 --> 00:05:49,477
Maybe I will.
Got any suggestions?
167
00:05:50,813 --> 00:05:53,948
As a matter of fact, I do.
168
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:55,183
Eva.
169
00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,051
She's so down-to-earth
and nonthreatening.
170
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:58,052
What do you think?
171
00:05:58,054 --> 00:05:59,187
Setting up Matty
172
00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:00,621
with one of the hottest girls
in school
173
00:06:00,623 --> 00:06:02,223
wouldn't be my first choice...
174
00:06:02,225 --> 00:06:03,924
or second or 90th.
175
00:06:03,926 --> 00:06:05,460
See?
I told you, Jenna.
176
00:06:05,462 --> 00:06:08,028
Put a TBD on your NBD attitude.
177
00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,330
You know what?
You're wrong.
178
00:06:09,332 --> 00:06:10,598
Hey, Eva.
179
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,200
Mother F, I wasn't serious.
180
00:06:13,202 --> 00:06:15,636
Hey, girls.
You both look super chic today.
181
00:06:15,638 --> 00:06:17,071
- What's up?
- I was wondering.
182
00:06:17,073 --> 00:06:19,539
How do you feel
about live music?
183
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,118
Wow!
What a cool car, Tamara.
184
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,921
Just remind me to put
a paper bag over my head
185
00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:30,555
when we roll up
to the venue, okay?
186
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,824
Press pause
on the ungrate hate, Sadie.
187
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,859
Would you rather be driving
your wienermobile
188
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:36,828
to the concert?
189
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,997
You're showing visible signs
of discomfort.
190
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,600
Back massage commences now.
191
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,435
Now that I had accepted
Tamara's challenge
192
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,969
and gotten Matty and Eva
together,
193
00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,638
it was time for me to do
a little massaging of my own.
194
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,640
- I love your dress, Eva.
- Oh, thanks.
195
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,476
It was a gift from
an old friend-- Alexander Wang.
196
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:53,744
- Ugh.
- Too strong?
197
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,413
Too desperate.
198
00:07:01,153 --> 00:07:04,021
You know, you two
look really good together.
199
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:05,790
Oh, you think?
200
00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,758
Excuse me. Oh, sorry.
201
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,795
Hey, uh, what are you doing?
202
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,330
I just want you to have
a good time tonight--
203
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:13,731
no hidden agenda.
204
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:16,767
Okay, well,
you're being weird, but okay.
205
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,402
Playing matchmaker with an ex
206
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:21,104
proves you've gone
from point A to point cray.
207
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,505
I'm not crazy.
208
00:07:22,507 --> 00:07:24,574
Maybe once you finally get over
Jake, you'll understand.
209
00:07:24,576 --> 00:07:26,176
Please.
I'm so over Jake.
210
00:07:26,178 --> 00:07:28,045
Can we go?
211
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,347
we walk like
there's nothing wrong
212
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:38,788
213
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,557
Rude. Give it back.
214
00:07:40,559 --> 00:07:42,359
Can you not look at your phone
while driving?
215
00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:43,727
You are way too obsessed
with Jake.
216
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:44,861
It's not healthy.
217
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:46,963
Please tell me
someone here has alcohol.
218
00:07:46,965 --> 00:07:49,198
If I have to share
this gross oxygen pool
219
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,200
with you losers,
the least you could do
220
00:07:51,202 --> 00:07:53,135
is get me drunk
so I don't remember it.
221
00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:54,470
I left my flask at home,
222
00:07:54,472 --> 00:07:56,272
but we can get drinks
with our fakes at the show.
223
00:07:56,274 --> 00:07:57,706
No one here has a fake.
224
00:07:57,708 --> 00:08:00,142
[Clears throat]
I do.
225
00:08:02,079 --> 00:08:04,981
Matty, this won't even get you
into an R-rated movie.
226
00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:06,949
It's okay; we can stop
by this place downtown.
227
00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:08,351
They do fakes on the quick.
228
00:08:08,353 --> 00:08:10,753
I got my first ID there
when I was, like, 15.
229
00:08:10,755 --> 00:08:12,954
You told us you were
at boarding school
230
00:08:12,956 --> 00:08:15,491
in Switzerland
when you were 15.
231
00:08:15,493 --> 00:08:18,326
Le Rosey, yes,
and I was dating a DJ in LA.
232
00:08:18,328 --> 00:08:20,362
That would fly me out
on the weekends and stuff.
233
00:08:20,364 --> 00:08:22,398
From Switzerland?
234
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,633
A couple of Xannies
on the plane,
235
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:26,301
and the distance feels
like nothing.
236
00:08:26,303 --> 00:08:27,468
The show's gonna start soon.
237
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,636
Do we really have to do
all this work
238
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,637
for just a couple drinks?
239
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:30,906
Oh, come on, Jenna.
240
00:08:30,908 --> 00:08:32,974
We all know you roll
with the older crowd now.
241
00:08:32,976 --> 00:08:35,510
But us children, we still got
to fend for ourselves.
242
00:08:35,512 --> 00:08:36,811
Okay, whatever, I'll take us.
243
00:08:36,813 --> 00:08:39,281
Just put the address in my GPS.
244
00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:44,985
we walk, we walk, we walk
like nothing's wrong
245
00:08:44,987 --> 00:08:47,522
we walk like
there's nothing wrong
246
00:08:47,524 --> 00:08:49,123
[Siren wailing]
247
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,459
Eva, you neglected
to tell us this place
248
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:53,761
was on the corner
of hep C and rape.
249
00:08:53,763 --> 00:08:55,062
Oh, it's fine.
We can park here.
250
00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:56,397
Seriously, I've parked here
all the time.
251
00:08:56,399 --> 00:08:57,665
It's never been a problem.
252
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,333
Eva, you've been everywhere,
253
00:08:59,335 --> 00:09:00,667
and you know everything.
254
00:09:00,669 --> 00:09:03,270
Would you please consider
being my life coach?
255
00:09:03,272 --> 00:09:05,406
Sure, I'm always happy
to help those in need.
256
00:09:08,543 --> 00:09:09,843
Sadie, can we talk for a sec?
257
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:11,678
Ugh.
What do you want?
258
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,315
I have this great photo
of you for your ID.
259
00:09:16,884 --> 00:09:20,286
Nice try, you sketchy skitch.
260
00:09:20,288 --> 00:09:22,956
Nothing happened that night,
and you know it.
261
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:24,157
I know.
262
00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:26,259
It just kind of looks
like something did.
263
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,929
I wonder what Austin
would think.
264
00:09:28,931 --> 00:09:31,164
You wouldn't dare.
265
00:09:31,166 --> 00:09:32,565
Probably not.
266
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,033
But if you're at all worried,
267
00:09:34,035 --> 00:09:36,602
you might want to think about
being way less bitchy to me.
268
00:09:36,604 --> 00:09:39,605
[Rock music]
269
00:09:39,607 --> 00:09:46,612
270
00:09:46,614 --> 00:09:48,781
You folks lost?
271
00:09:48,783 --> 00:09:51,517
Pinkberry's down the street.
272
00:09:51,519 --> 00:09:54,319
Hey, babe.
How have you been?
273
00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:56,522
We're here for IDs.
274
00:09:56,524 --> 00:09:59,792
White bread, perma-scowl,
you two,
275
00:09:59,794 --> 00:10:01,460
in the back, now!
276
00:10:01,462 --> 00:10:02,795
Yes, sir.
277
00:10:08,334 --> 00:10:11,703
Jenna, just so I'm clear
about what's going on,
278
00:10:11,705 --> 00:10:14,906
did you invite me to the concert
to set me up with Matty?
279
00:10:14,908 --> 00:10:17,209
Not exactly,
but if you're into Matty,
280
00:10:17,211 --> 00:10:19,144
I want you to know
I'd be totally cool with it.
281
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:20,345
Seriously?
282
00:10:20,347 --> 00:10:22,580
Yeah, it's clear
you guys have chemistry,
283
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:24,682
and I don't want to get
in the way of that.
284
00:10:24,684 --> 00:10:27,118
I'm so relieved
you're not one of those girls
285
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,553
that's psycho about her ex.
286
00:10:28,555 --> 00:10:30,121
You're awesome.
287
00:10:30,123 --> 00:10:31,455
[Camera shutter clicks]
288
00:10:33,626 --> 00:10:34,859
What do you want
your name to be?
289
00:10:34,861 --> 00:10:36,628
- Austin Welch.
- No, Austin.
290
00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,729
You have to create a fake name.
291
00:10:38,731 --> 00:10:43,000
- But that would be lying.
- Duh, that's the point.
292
00:10:43,002 --> 00:10:46,170
Austin S. Welch.
293
00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:47,204
[Camera shutter clicks]
294
00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:49,973
[Tattoo needle buzzing]
295
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:51,808
That looks so painful.
296
00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:53,344
Getting them removed
hurts more.
297
00:10:53,346 --> 00:10:55,111
- Really?
- Yeah.
298
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,613
When I got rid
of all my tattoos last year,
299
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,515
I had to drink straight tequila
to get through it.
300
00:10:58,517 --> 00:10:59,716
Why'd you get rid of them?
301
00:10:59,718 --> 00:11:01,685
Things change.
You need to cleanse.
302
00:11:01,687 --> 00:11:05,121
Sounds like something
I need to do with my tattoo.
303
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,389
Doubtful.
304
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,058
I bet it's sexy.
Show me.
305
00:11:09,527 --> 00:11:10,661
[Sighs]
306
00:11:14,932 --> 00:11:16,299
Oh, that's an easy fix.
307
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,668
"4 Eva," see?
308
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:20,070
Well, that was quick.
309
00:11:20,072 --> 00:11:21,471
With just a touch of her palm,
310
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,906
Eva had found a way
to erase my past with Matty,
311
00:11:23,908 --> 00:11:25,341
not that it bothered me.
312
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:28,477
Matty's and my history
was exactly that-- history.
313
00:11:32,783 --> 00:11:35,651
Yo, prom king and queen,
314
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,752
front and center.
315
00:11:40,223 --> 00:11:42,658
Hey, drop the phone.
316
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,359
Jake just tweeted
that he's in a hot tub
317
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:45,860
mackin' on some groupies.
318
00:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,362
WTF?
319
00:11:47,364 --> 00:11:50,199
I'm the only girl he shouldn't
be giving orgasms to.
320
00:11:50,201 --> 00:11:53,001
[Cell phone clicking]
321
00:11:54,038 --> 00:11:56,466
_
322
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,489
_
323
00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:06,414
Stop it!
324
00:12:06,416 --> 00:12:08,917
You're being a bugaboo, Jenna.
I'm fine.
325
00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:11,753
Do you think Matty's upset
with me for setting him up?
326
00:12:11,755 --> 00:12:13,254
I might have jumped the gun
on this.
327
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,126
Furious.
He might never get over it.
328
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:21,429
You guys, guess what names
we chose for our IDs.
329
00:12:21,431 --> 00:12:24,765
William and Kate,
because, duh, we're royalty.
330
00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,066
Wow.
How romantic.
331
00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:27,935
Whoa!
Where did that come from?
332
00:12:27,937 --> 00:12:30,004
My plan to make Matty happy
was working.
333
00:12:30,006 --> 00:12:32,640
So why was I suddenly
feeling so unhappy?
334
00:12:32,642 --> 00:12:34,908
It's not like I still
had feelings for him.
335
00:12:34,910 --> 00:12:38,478
Holy fuck,
I still had feelings for him.
336
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,513
Let's test these babies
337
00:12:39,515 --> 00:12:40,814
at the liquor store
down the street.
338
00:12:40,816 --> 00:12:42,116
We're already late.
Let's just go.
339
00:12:42,118 --> 00:12:43,416
You know what?
340
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:44,618
I'd actually love to get
a bottle of this rose
341
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,520
that Luke turned me on to.
342
00:12:46,522 --> 00:12:49,523
Eva, would you be up
for some classy PBR?
343
00:12:49,525 --> 00:12:51,991
- It's my favorite.
- Ugh. Fine. Go.
344
00:12:51,993 --> 00:12:53,126
But I'm staying here.
345
00:12:53,128 --> 00:12:54,661
I would have to lather myself
in Purell
346
00:12:54,663 --> 00:12:56,729
before stepping into
that etch-a-sketch place.
347
00:12:58,999 --> 00:13:01,168
[Cell phone clicking]
348
00:13:01,169 --> 00:13:05,915
_
349
00:13:07,174 --> 00:13:08,875
Excuse me.
350
00:13:08,877 --> 00:13:10,409
- Do you have the time?
- Ew!
351
00:13:10,411 --> 00:13:11,678
Do you not own a cell phone?
352
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,879
I do now.
353
00:13:12,881 --> 00:13:14,346
[Gasps]
Oh, no, you don't!
354
00:13:14,348 --> 00:13:15,882
This phone is my lifeline!
355
00:13:15,884 --> 00:13:18,517
My texts, my music,
my contacts, my photos,
356
00:13:18,519 --> 00:13:19,919
my Twitter, my Pinterest,
357
00:13:19,921 --> 00:13:22,689
and my comprehensive notes
dedicating my five-year plan!
358
00:13:22,691 --> 00:13:24,323
Back off, bitch!
359
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,591
Hey, let your phone go!
360
00:13:25,593 --> 00:13:27,293
Thanks.
361
00:13:27,295 --> 00:13:28,827
I had it under control, Jenna.
362
00:13:28,829 --> 00:13:30,762
No, you didn't.
You have a problem.
363
00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:33,632
Actually, she has multiples.
364
00:13:33,634 --> 00:13:36,368
Your car is being towed.
365
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:37,570
Stop!
366
00:13:37,572 --> 00:13:39,004
My friend said it was okay
to park here!
367
00:13:39,006 --> 00:13:41,173
I said it's usually okay.
368
00:13:41,175 --> 00:13:42,741
Please can I have my car back?
369
00:13:42,743 --> 00:13:44,710
Consider it for $200.
370
00:13:44,712 --> 00:13:46,311
Guys,
put all your money in, now.
371
00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:54,186
- Thanks.
- Hey! I thought you said--
372
00:13:54,188 --> 00:13:56,321
Said I would consider it.
373
00:13:56,323 --> 00:13:58,789
What?
374
00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:01,058
[Engine turning over]
375
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:03,994
Guess we'll never forget
this first date.
376
00:14:03,996 --> 00:14:05,396
That made the three of us.
377
00:14:07,753 --> 00:14:10,321
Just so you know,
I only came because of Matty.
378
00:14:10,323 --> 00:14:12,724
Sorry to pull you
out of your groupie orgy.
379
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:15,092
Hope you disinfected
before you came.
380
00:14:15,094 --> 00:14:16,828
Or should I say after?
381
00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:18,296
[Clears throat]
382
00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:22,433
- Oh, am I crushing you?
- Nah, you feel great.
383
00:14:22,435 --> 00:14:24,601
Wow, glad you two
are enjoying yourselves
384
00:14:24,603 --> 00:14:27,038
after our friend got mugged
and we lost all our money.
385
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,106
- Is there a problem, Jenna?
- I couldn't say.
386
00:14:29,108 --> 00:14:30,541
In my quest to move on
from Matty,
387
00:14:30,543 --> 00:14:32,176
I had ended up
where I started--
388
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:34,211
a jealous, insecure wreck.
389
00:14:34,213 --> 00:14:36,413
No. No problem at all.
390
00:14:36,415 --> 00:14:38,181
Let's give Eva
a round of applause
391
00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:41,785
for all her genius ideas
that got us into this hellhole.
392
00:14:41,787 --> 00:14:42,886
[Clapping]
393
00:14:42,888 --> 00:14:43,987
[Cell phone chimes]
394
00:14:44,628 --> 00:14:47,350
_
395
00:14:47,391 --> 00:14:49,025
- Oh, what's that?
- It's nothing.
396
00:14:49,027 --> 00:14:50,461
Keep clapping.
397
00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:52,528
[Clapping]
398
00:14:57,534 --> 00:14:59,535
Your threats
don't scare me, Eva.
399
00:14:59,537 --> 00:15:02,272
Austin and I don't have
a typical relationship.
400
00:15:02,274 --> 00:15:05,141
If you haven't noticed,
he's a little different.
401
00:15:07,678 --> 00:15:10,179
I can be honest with him
about anything,
402
00:15:10,181 --> 00:15:12,181
so your little plan
to blackmail me
403
00:15:12,183 --> 00:15:14,617
is as useless as you are.
404
00:15:16,286 --> 00:15:19,121
It's going to cost you $400
to get it out of the impound.
405
00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:20,456
Jake, you pay for it.
406
00:15:20,458 --> 00:15:22,291
Consider it my settlement
in the Jakara breakup.
407
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:23,526
No, I'm done.
408
00:15:23,528 --> 00:15:25,294
I don't care enough
to fight you anymore.
409
00:15:25,296 --> 00:15:28,097
T, can we sidebar?
410
00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:29,498
You have got to stop it
with Jake.
411
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,867
- You're embarrassing yourself.
- Oh, please, Jenna.
412
00:15:31,869 --> 00:15:33,668
Ever since Matty and Eva
started hitting it off,
413
00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:35,704
you've been guzzling down
haterade.
414
00:15:35,706 --> 00:15:38,207
At least I'm owning my crazy
instead of leasing it.
415
00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:40,575
[Giggles]
416
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:48,917
So do we make out now?
417
00:15:48,919 --> 00:15:51,052
Not yet.
I need to show you something.
418
00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:55,456
Oh, I haven't seen this photo
of you before.
419
00:15:55,458 --> 00:15:57,358
Your skin looks beautiful.
420
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,327
Oh, and there's Matty.
421
00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:02,330
It was taken one night after
we had fallen asleep together--
422
00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:04,832
totally innocent,
nothing happened.
423
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,901
Okay. Great.
424
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,873
You look like
you're gonna puke.
425
00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:14,207
Matty and I kissed, okay?
426
00:16:14,209 --> 00:16:16,076
And it meant nothing,
and I promise
427
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:18,311
it will never happen again.
428
00:16:19,648 --> 00:16:22,315
[Sighs]
I feel so much better.
429
00:16:22,317 --> 00:16:24,351
I'm really glad you told me.
430
00:16:24,353 --> 00:16:25,886
Really? I was nervous.
431
00:16:25,888 --> 00:16:27,855
But I knew you would understand.
432
00:16:27,857 --> 00:16:30,990
Oh, I understand.
433
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,859
You're a liar,
and I need to break up with you.
434
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,628
What?
Austin, I didn't lie.
435
00:16:35,630 --> 00:16:37,230
I'm telling you now.
436
00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:38,998
You lied when you said
you would be monogamous,
437
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,301
and you just lied again
by saying that you didn't lie.
438
00:16:41,303 --> 00:16:43,103
Austin, you're getting this
totally twisted.
439
00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:44,637
When someone lies
about fidelity
440
00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:46,106
in a relationship,
the probability
441
00:16:46,108 --> 00:16:48,474
that they'll lie again
goes up by more than 80%.
442
00:16:48,476 --> 00:16:49,976
I'm not some statistic.
443
00:16:49,978 --> 00:16:52,178
I'm your girlfriend.
I just need to--
444
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:53,746
- I'm sorry,
but this is about what I need,
445
00:16:53,748 --> 00:16:56,182
and that's 100% certainty
that you won't betray my trust.
446
00:16:56,184 --> 00:16:57,283
I can give you that.
447
00:16:57,285 --> 00:16:58,952
Just give me a chance
to prove it.
448
00:16:58,954 --> 00:17:01,054
But that's the problem, Sadie.
449
00:17:01,056 --> 00:17:03,255
You've already proven to me
that you can't.
450
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,362
Hallelujah!
We are free.
451
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,930
They are finally releasing
my car from captivity.
452
00:17:11,932 --> 00:17:13,031
How?
453
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,102
My expert
negotiation skills, obvi.
454
00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:18,370
My grandmother let me charge it
to her credit card.
455
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:20,538
Are you okay, Sadie?
456
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,908
Where's Austin?
457
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:25,110
Matty, can I talk to you
before we go?
458
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:28,113
Sure.
459
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:30,716
I'm sorry
if I was rude tonight.
460
00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:33,418
I thought I would be cool with
seeing you date other people,
461
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,420
but it bothered me
more than I thought.
462
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,787
I noticed.
463
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,057
I promise not to interfere
with you or Eva.
464
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,160
You two have my blessing
to be together.
465
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:45,430
Your blessing?
Are you serious?
466
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,898
Do you even know
how ridiculous that sounds?
467
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,800
Should I have given you
my blessing
468
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,302
when you cheated on me
with Colin last year
469
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,005
or maybe when you started
to date Luke?
470
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:56,507
We don't need
each other's blessings, Jenna.
471
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,908
We're not together.
472
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:01,512
Hey, let's go.
473
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:02,713
Eva, you gonna come with?
474
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,784
[Mouths words]
I'm sorry.
475
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:10,920
Jenna, we're gone, baby, gone.
476
00:18:10,922 --> 00:18:12,422
Come on.
477
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,093
Hey!
Get out of my car, man!
478
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:18,728
Jesus!
479
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,696
You too!
480
00:18:27,370 --> 00:18:29,605
Close call, boys.
481
00:18:29,607 --> 00:18:30,940
Bummer.
482
00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,441
We didn't even get
to see Echosmith play.
483
00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:34,443
At least we got
some fake IDs out of it.
484
00:18:34,445 --> 00:18:36,378
Oh, you guys got fakes?
Let me see.
485
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:38,380
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
486
00:18:41,217 --> 00:18:42,551
"John Smith"?
487
00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:44,152
Jake, this is so lame.
488
00:18:44,154 --> 00:18:46,789
- Oh, whatever, William, Kate.
- Whatever.
489
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,824
- It's cute. We're cute.
- Yeah.
490
00:18:48,826 --> 00:18:50,492
What do you say
we call Jake a car
491
00:18:50,494 --> 00:18:52,027
and then you and I
can get out of here?
492
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:54,963
- I love that idea.
- Great.
493
00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:56,097
Jake, we're calling you
an uber.
494
00:18:56,099 --> 00:18:57,299
You're too drunk to drive.
495
00:18:57,301 --> 00:19:01,736
- You don't have to do that.
- Yes, I do.
496
00:19:01,738 --> 00:19:03,504
Ugh, it smells like tweakers
in here.
497
00:19:03,506 --> 00:19:04,840
- One sec.
- Yeah.
498
00:19:10,046 --> 00:19:12,613
I thought Eva was too good
for high school guys.
499
00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:15,450
Looks like she made
an exception there, Jakey.
500
00:19:15,452 --> 00:19:16,951
[Siren wails]
501
00:19:16,953 --> 00:19:20,020
Shit, hide the booze, man.
502
00:19:20,022 --> 00:19:24,124
[Indistinct chatter
over police radio]
503
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:25,693
You two been drinking tonight?
504
00:19:25,695 --> 00:19:28,295
Well, yes, sir, we have,
but our friend
505
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,663
went to go call us a car, so...
506
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:31,198
Yeah, we didn't start drinking
507
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,499
until we got to the concert,
508
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:34,434
which we didn't even
end up seeing.
509
00:19:34,436 --> 00:19:36,170
Hey, I'm not asking
for your life story here.
510
00:19:36,172 --> 00:19:37,504
That's great,
511
00:19:37,506 --> 00:19:39,506
because I don't have
a life story to tell you.
512
00:19:39,508 --> 00:19:40,440
Show me your IDs.
513
00:19:48,148 --> 00:19:50,016
You little candy-asses
getting a thrill
514
00:19:50,018 --> 00:19:51,585
by being in this part of town?
515
00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:53,086
Yeah, you don't know
anything about us,
516
00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:54,855
so why are you being
such a dick?
517
00:19:54,857 --> 00:19:57,023
Shut up, dude.
518
00:19:57,025 --> 00:19:59,393
That's it.
Out of the car right now.
519
00:19:59,395 --> 00:20:01,027
- Right now. Come on.
- We didn't do anything wrong.
520
00:20:01,029 --> 00:20:02,428
Those open containers
just jump in your car
521
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,396
when you weren't looking?
522
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:04,463
How'd you guess, huh?
523
00:20:04,465 --> 00:20:05,932
- Get!
- Matty!
524
00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:09,535
[Cell phone chimes]
525
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,200
_
526
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:16,876
Sometimes it felt like
I was stuck
527
00:20:16,878 --> 00:20:18,477
in an emotional prison
528
00:20:18,479 --> 00:20:20,846
waiting to be set free
from my feelings for Matty,
529
00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:24,182
and now that I had Luke,
the handcuffs were coming off.
530
00:20:24,184 --> 00:20:25,684
Gets even better.
531
00:20:25,686 --> 00:20:27,085
Precinct lockup is all full.
532
00:20:27,087 --> 00:20:29,622
You boys get to spend
the night in County.
533
00:20:29,624 --> 00:20:30,856
[Sighs]
534
00:20:31,526 --> 00:20:32,680
Next on Awkward...
535
00:20:32,777 --> 00:20:34,246
We can still make it
to SCU by midnight
536
00:20:34,328 --> 00:20:36,295
and spend our night
with real men.
537
00:20:36,297 --> 00:20:37,629
Every one of them
is like a living,
538
00:20:37,631 --> 00:20:39,564
breathing J Crew catalog,
only hotter.
539
00:20:39,566 --> 00:20:41,433
- Hey there.
- [Belches]
540
00:20:41,435 --> 00:20:43,601
Surprise!
541
00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:45,103
Don't we get one phone call?
542
00:20:45,105 --> 00:20:46,704
I'd rather die in prison
than call Jenna right now.
543
00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:48,073
Gonna give you
his brother's number.
544
00:20:48,075 --> 00:20:49,808
He'll know exactly
how to handle this situation.
545
00:20:49,810 --> 00:20:51,742
I went to Jenna.
She said she couldn't help.
546
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:56,342
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