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00:00:00,112 --> 00:00:01,866
Previously on Awkward...
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00:00:01,867 --> 00:00:03,007
_
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00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:05,221
"Have we met?"
4
00:00:05,223 --> 00:00:08,692
"You are cute."
5
00:00:08,694 --> 00:00:10,561
I'm around to talk later
after school.
6
00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:12,696
I'll hit you up later,
but it won't be to talk.
7
00:00:12,698 --> 00:00:15,293
- Oh, hey, Jenna.
- Is Matty here?
8
00:00:16,867 --> 00:00:19,335
I had overslept,
but I didn't remember sleeping.
9
00:00:19,337 --> 00:00:20,636
I had been tossing and turning
all night.
10
00:00:20,638 --> 00:00:22,805
Why had Eva been
at Matty's house?
11
00:00:22,807 --> 00:00:24,173
Were they hooking up?
12
00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:26,008
Was Matty confiding in her
about his life,
13
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:29,044
and where was my stupid
Palos Hills High hoodie?
14
00:00:29,046 --> 00:00:31,781
I was already late to Tamara's
senior hallway decorating sesh
15
00:00:31,783 --> 00:00:34,283
for Spirit Week,
but I was dispirited.
16
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:36,853
There was zero pep in my step.
17
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:39,488
[Cell phone rings]
18
00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:41,423
Hey, I'm sorry I'm late.
19
00:00:41,425 --> 00:00:42,992
I know it's not an excuse,
20
00:00:42,994 --> 00:00:44,760
but Eva was
at Matty's house last night.
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00:00:44,762 --> 00:00:46,595
I mean, I try to be a good
friend, and then he goes out
22
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:48,597
and replaces me with the
next random girl he can find.
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00:00:48,599 --> 00:00:50,366
And what's her deal anyway?
24
00:00:50,368 --> 00:00:52,467
I mean, she thinks she's so cool
and knows everything.
25
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,036
It's, like, stop trying to be
friends with everyone.
26
00:00:54,038 --> 00:00:55,437
And why are her legs so long?
27
00:00:55,439 --> 00:00:57,273
She looks
like a freaking alien.
28
00:00:57,275 --> 00:00:59,275
Um, it's Eva.
29
00:00:59,277 --> 00:01:01,810
Tamara's doing a million things,
and she wanted to see
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00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,645
if you could bring her
a large coffee.
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00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,313
Is that Jenna?
And a cronut.
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00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,548
And a cronut.
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00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:09,017
Sure thing.
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00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:10,552
[Keys clacking]
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00:01:10,554 --> 00:01:12,888
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:16,291
[Gasps]
Cronut me.
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00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:19,060
Wow. Looks like Matty's
new friend Eva's here.
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00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:21,897
Do I hear a bitch pitch
in your voice?
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00:01:21,899 --> 00:01:23,765
She volunteered
for Senior Spirit Committee.
40
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:25,166
Yeah, well, I think she
also volunteered
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00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,435
to be his new side piece.
42
00:01:26,437 --> 00:01:27,969
So?
She's an eager beaver.
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00:01:27,971 --> 00:01:31,672
- Or he's eager for her--
- No, don't.
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00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,873
Enough.
45
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,575
Stop moping over Matty.
46
00:01:34,577 --> 00:01:36,978
The easiest way to get over
getting busy with him
47
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,480
is to get busy doing something
or someone else,
48
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:42,116
but since you could benefit
from having a lock on your box,
49
00:01:42,118 --> 00:01:43,551
you should concentrate on--
50
00:01:43,553 --> 00:01:45,653
[Cell phone vibrates]
One second.
51
00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:47,655
- Did you get another phone?
- No.
52
00:01:47,657 --> 00:01:49,657
Well, yes,
but this one's Autumn's.
53
00:01:49,659 --> 00:01:52,492
- Wait. Who's Autumn?
- Autumn San Diego--
54
00:01:52,494 --> 00:01:54,995
the online persona I created
to catfish Jake.
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00:01:54,997 --> 00:01:58,432
Okay, as your friend,
it is my job to tell you
56
00:01:58,434 --> 00:02:00,934
that what you're doing is weird,
stalker-y, and not healthy.
57
00:02:00,936 --> 00:02:02,235
End it.
58
00:02:02,237 --> 00:02:04,404
Chill
with the freak and critique.
59
00:02:04,406 --> 00:02:06,606
Of course I'll end it,
just not now.
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00:02:06,608 --> 00:02:08,308
I am too busy
to break up again.
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00:02:08,310 --> 00:02:09,476
- But if you--
- Hold that thought.
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00:02:09,478 --> 00:02:11,011
I have another one for you.
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00:02:11,013 --> 00:02:12,946
You should cochair
Spirit Committee with me.
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00:02:12,948 --> 00:02:15,515
It's a total resume padder,
and I need all hands on deck.
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00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:17,083
If the seniors don't win
Spirit Week,
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00:02:17,085 --> 00:02:18,885
I'll jump overboard.
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00:02:18,887 --> 00:02:20,453
You don't need me.
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00:02:20,455 --> 00:02:22,088
I'm sure that it'll be
smooth sailing
69
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:23,356
now that you're in charge.
70
00:02:23,358 --> 00:02:25,358
But I really do need you
to show me
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00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:28,294
where to put
these, um, rave sticks.
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00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:29,829
It's a robot arm.
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00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:34,033
The theme is the future.
Duh!
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00:02:34,035 --> 00:02:35,568
[Whistle blows]
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00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:37,703
- The banner is crooked!
- Nice robot penises.
76
00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,638
Can you help us, please,
with this?
77
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,541
No. Your presidency,
your problem.
78
00:02:42,543 --> 00:02:46,545
- Matty, can you help?
- Sure.
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00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:48,080
Oh.
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00:02:48,082 --> 00:02:49,515
[Grunts]
Okay.
81
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:50,716
Got it?
82
00:02:50,718 --> 00:02:53,452
Okay, catch you later, E.
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00:02:54,988 --> 00:02:56,021
Hey.
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00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:57,555
Just about last night,
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00:02:57,557 --> 00:02:59,491
nothing happened
between me and Matty.
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00:02:59,493 --> 00:03:01,026
He just wanted to talk.
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00:03:01,028 --> 00:03:02,827
It's fine, we're not together.
88
00:03:02,829 --> 00:03:05,830
Ugh, the Sophomore Sluts.
89
00:03:05,832 --> 00:03:07,565
The Sophomore Sluts, or the SS,
90
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:10,268
are the mortal enemies
of senior girls everywhere.
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00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,337
Somehow these girls
had magically morphed
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00:03:12,339 --> 00:03:14,506
over the summer
from dorky freshmen
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00:03:14,508 --> 00:03:16,840
to a hoard of cleavage-bearing,
short-shorts-wearing,
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00:03:16,842 --> 00:03:18,842
giggling Kesha clones
who were only too happy
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00:03:18,844 --> 00:03:20,977
to hang all over
the senior guys.
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00:03:20,979 --> 00:03:22,612
What's with
their hair extensions?
97
00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:24,415
They don't match
their whore-drobe.
98
00:03:24,417 --> 00:03:26,283
Is this some kind
of skanky cult thing?
99
00:03:26,285 --> 00:03:27,484
Orange means
they're willing to kiss,
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00:03:27,486 --> 00:03:29,119
pink-- BJs,
101
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:31,188
red-- they're willing
to go all the way,
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00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:32,756
- and silver--
- Back door?
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00:03:32,758 --> 00:03:34,525
Back door, front door,
basement, and attic.
104
00:03:34,527 --> 00:03:36,460
- [Gasps] Sluts.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
105
00:03:36,462 --> 00:03:38,461
Tamara, do not use that term.
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00:03:38,463 --> 00:03:40,897
There will be no slut-shaming
at this school.
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00:03:40,899 --> 00:03:42,899
I prefer "slappers" or "slags."
108
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:45,101
It's British. Mm.
109
00:03:45,103 --> 00:03:48,204
Val, your hair
is very colorful.
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00:03:48,206 --> 00:03:50,106
Oh, thanks.
You noticed.
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00:03:50,108 --> 00:03:52,175
It's the hot new trend.
All the cool kids are doing it.
112
00:03:52,177 --> 00:03:53,376
We aren't.
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00:03:53,378 --> 00:03:54,945
Your point?
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00:03:54,947 --> 00:03:56,279
Val, I'm not sure
you fully understand
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00:03:56,281 --> 00:03:58,414
what those extensions
really mean.
116
00:03:58,416 --> 00:04:00,450
Yeah, I do.
117
00:04:00,452 --> 00:04:02,918
They mean that you old ladies
are behind the times.
118
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,355
So go back to your hard candies
and your mothballs,
119
00:04:06,357 --> 00:04:09,092
Dame Judi Denches, because I...
120
00:04:09,094 --> 00:04:11,360
am the future.
121
00:04:11,362 --> 00:04:14,163
What the hell are you doing?
122
00:04:14,165 --> 00:04:15,864
That's Va-Jenna's job,
not the Captain's.
123
00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:17,733
I don't mind.
124
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:20,569
I like sorting the pom-poms.
They're so colorful and fun.
125
00:04:20,571 --> 00:04:23,972
And sometimes I like to pretend
they're little fluffy dogs.
126
00:04:23,974 --> 00:04:25,640
[Imitates barking]
127
00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:27,242
[Laughs, imitates bark]
128
00:04:27,244 --> 00:04:29,077
So I was reading the Bible
last night.
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00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:30,145
[Gasps]
Really?
130
00:04:30,147 --> 00:04:31,413
That's so awesome.
131
00:04:31,415 --> 00:04:32,680
Were you at a hotel
or something?
132
00:04:32,682 --> 00:04:33,982
My dad bought one
when he thought
133
00:04:33,984 --> 00:04:35,850
he was going
to white-collar prison.
134
00:04:35,852 --> 00:04:37,219
Anyway, I read that verse
135
00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:38,420
about how the meek
shall inherit the earth.
136
00:04:38,422 --> 00:04:40,421
[Gasps]
Matthew 5:5...
137
00:04:40,423 --> 00:04:42,356
or Matthew high five.
138
00:04:42,358 --> 00:04:45,392
Right, but now I'm not so sure
139
00:04:45,394 --> 00:04:46,727
that cheering
is what Jesus would do.
140
00:04:46,729 --> 00:04:49,163
I mean, shouting
and wearing short skirts
141
00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,931
isn't exactly meek, is it?
142
00:04:50,933 --> 00:04:54,435
Well, I never thought of it
like that,
143
00:04:54,437 --> 00:04:57,371
but I always thought Jesus
would be a cheerleader,
144
00:04:57,373 --> 00:04:59,540
and definitely Mary.
145
00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:02,375
That's a really good point.
146
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:05,578
Reverse you're welcome.
147
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:07,413
Thanks.
148
00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:10,716
You know, some people
have been saying that the power
149
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,585
of the captaincy has really been
going to your head,
150
00:05:12,587 --> 00:05:14,454
but I don't think that's true.
151
00:05:14,456 --> 00:05:17,190
- People are saying that?
- Don't worry.
152
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,559
They said the same about me
when I was captain,
153
00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:21,594
though "Good Christian Girl"
isn't exactly my brand.
154
00:05:21,596 --> 00:05:24,597
Oh, another fun fact
from the Bible.
155
00:05:24,599 --> 00:05:27,499
Did you know
that "Judas" and "Lissa" have
156
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,901
the same amount of letters?
157
00:05:28,903 --> 00:05:30,102
So weird.
158
00:05:30,104 --> 00:05:32,571
[Chuckles]
159
00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:35,474
It's time for the first
competition of Spirit Week--
160
00:05:35,476 --> 00:05:37,609
Chubby Bunny.
161
00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:39,511
[Applause]
162
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,081
- You all know the rules.
- I'm afraid I don't.
163
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:44,283
Is Chubby Bunny
some sort of fat rodent?
164
00:05:44,285 --> 00:05:46,084
No, it's a physical challenge.
165
00:05:46,086 --> 00:05:47,653
You put a marshmallow
in your mouth,
166
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:49,120
and you say "Chubby Bunny."
167
00:05:49,122 --> 00:05:50,755
The first person
to say "Chubby Bunny" clearly
168
00:05:50,757 --> 00:05:52,857
with the most mallows
in their mouth wins.
169
00:05:52,859 --> 00:05:55,460
- That is rude!
- So piggish.
170
00:05:55,462 --> 00:05:57,529
You're both rude and piggish,
and it's tradition.
171
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,631
Now, can each class rep
please come to the stage?
172
00:05:59,633 --> 00:06:01,667
[All giggling]
173
00:06:01,669 --> 00:06:04,002
And, of course,
the senior-class rep
174
00:06:04,004 --> 00:06:07,171
and three-time Chubby Bunny
champ Matty McKibben,
175
00:06:07,173 --> 00:06:08,806
come on up.
176
00:06:08,808 --> 00:06:10,608
- [Cheers and applause]
- Please!
177
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,310
Let me do it this year.
178
00:06:12,312 --> 00:06:15,613
- I'm not allowed sugar at home.
- Go for it, man.
179
00:06:15,615 --> 00:06:17,448
But it's really important
that we win this.
180
00:06:17,450 --> 00:06:19,850
Kyle's gonna kill it.
Look at that intensity.
181
00:06:19,852 --> 00:06:21,552
Ugh, fine.
Get up here, Kyle.
182
00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:24,188
Move.
183
00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:27,991
On your mark, get set, stuff!
184
00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:29,492
[Clearly]
Chubby Bunny.
185
00:06:29,494 --> 00:06:30,660
[Mumbling]
Chubby Bunny.
186
00:06:30,662 --> 00:06:31,762
[Clearly]
Chubby Bunny.
187
00:06:31,764 --> 00:06:33,463
[Applause]
188
00:06:33,465 --> 00:06:36,566
It's supposed to melt
in your mouth not in your hand.
189
00:06:36,568 --> 00:06:38,268
I'm a diabetic.
190
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:41,571
Ugh, freshman, is your brain
even fully formed yet?
191
00:06:41,573 --> 00:06:43,306
- Do you still breast-feed?
- Not since I was eight.
192
00:06:43,308 --> 00:06:44,807
All: Ew.
193
00:06:44,809 --> 00:06:46,943
Kyle, you're not supposed
to eat them.
194
00:06:46,945 --> 00:06:48,277
Can't stop.
195
00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:49,345
Sugar high.
196
00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:50,780
So high!
197
00:06:50,782 --> 00:06:52,882
The marshmallows are blazed.
198
00:06:52,884 --> 00:06:54,316
[Laughs]
199
00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:56,152
My turn.
200
00:06:58,021 --> 00:07:00,723
[All gasp]
201
00:07:00,725 --> 00:07:02,658
Mmm.
[Giggles]
202
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,895
[Mumbling]
Chubby Bunny.
203
00:07:05,897 --> 00:07:08,964
Mmm.
204
00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:09,965
[Mumbling]
Chubby Bunny.
205
00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:11,300
Sophomores win!
206
00:07:11,302 --> 00:07:14,670
[Cheers and applause]
207
00:07:16,806 --> 00:07:19,241
Yes! It is
all about Mackenzie.
208
00:07:19,243 --> 00:07:20,842
That girl is a professional.
209
00:07:20,844 --> 00:07:22,611
We're talking star quality.
210
00:07:22,913 --> 00:07:24,880
Matty.
211
00:07:24,882 --> 00:07:26,081
Are you okay?
212
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:29,050
I'm fine.
Why?
213
00:07:29,052 --> 00:07:32,053
You're not upset about the end
of your Chubby Bunny reign?
214
00:07:32,055 --> 00:07:35,090
Yeah, yeah, I'm really
broken up about it.
215
00:07:35,092 --> 00:07:36,791
[Chuckles]
Listen...
216
00:07:36,793 --> 00:07:39,794
I know our relationship
has changed, and it's cool.
217
00:07:39,796 --> 00:07:41,963
I just thought
that I would be the person
218
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:44,399
that you would want to talk to
about stuff,
219
00:07:44,401 --> 00:07:46,634
not someone you barely know.
220
00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:50,705
So you want me to run people
by you before I talk to them?
221
00:07:50,707 --> 00:07:52,673
No, no, no,
that's not what I meant.
222
00:07:52,675 --> 00:07:54,575
[Giggles]
Matty, did you see me win?
223
00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:56,143
Yeah, yeah, congratulations.
224
00:07:56,145 --> 00:07:57,979
So Matty had completely
replaced me in his life.
225
00:07:57,981 --> 00:07:59,379
Eva for conversation,
226
00:07:59,381 --> 00:08:01,649
and Mackenzie
was clearly available
227
00:08:01,651 --> 00:08:03,050
for whatever else he needed.
228
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:05,987
I was rendered obsolete
in less than a day.
229
00:08:05,989 --> 00:08:07,387
We look like idiots.
230
00:08:07,389 --> 00:08:09,556
Oh, we're supposed
to be robots.
231
00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,258
I know, but we look like hobos
232
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,893
who pose like statues
for money.
233
00:08:13,895 --> 00:08:15,429
My friend did that
in Central Park,
234
00:08:15,431 --> 00:08:16,730
and he's
in Cirque Du Soleil now.
235
00:08:16,732 --> 00:08:18,365
[Gasps]
I love the circus.
236
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,734
Fascinating, Eva.
237
00:08:20,736 --> 00:08:24,204
This looks amazing, seniors.
238
00:08:24,206 --> 00:08:28,208
It's like someone from
1982's idea of the future--
239
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:29,976
very tron.
240
00:08:29,978 --> 00:08:31,877
It's a compliment...
241
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,980
although I could do
without the space dildos.
242
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,983
- So are we the best hallway?
- Looks like it.
243
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:40,119
[Distant cheering,
electronic music]
244
00:08:40,121 --> 00:08:42,054
Wait.
Do you hear that?
245
00:08:42,056 --> 00:08:49,828
246
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,201
Oh.
247
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,637
Somebody get these girls
bananas fast!
248
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:02,374
These little girls lost know
exactly where they're going.
249
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,708
Wow.
250
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,779
This is glorious.
251
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,680
Sophomores win
The Hallway contest.
252
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,315
For the first time
in recorded history,
253
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:15,319
the seniors
might lose Spirit Week.
254
00:09:15,321 --> 00:09:17,454
[Giggles]
255
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,659
Shit just got real.
256
00:09:23,193 --> 00:09:24,561
The Sophomore Sluts had swept
257
00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,129
all the Spirit Week
competitions,
258
00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:27,997
so the senior girls,
determined to put those skanks
259
00:09:27,999 --> 00:09:30,099
in their place,
were all on time
260
00:09:30,101 --> 00:09:31,600
for the Powder Puff practice,
261
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:34,037
except Tamara,
which was so un-Tamara.
262
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:36,272
Meanwhile, Lissa was teaching
the senior guys cheers,
263
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:39,441
but Matty and Jake
were also no-shows.
264
00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:40,709
The cheer goes like this--
265
00:09:40,711 --> 00:09:42,677
Knee 'em in the groin!
266
00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:44,546
Gouge 'em in the eye!
267
00:09:44,548 --> 00:09:47,615
Kill 'em, kill 'em, Palos High!
268
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:51,286
Wow. I never realized
how violent that cheer was.
269
00:09:51,288 --> 00:09:53,922
W-W-J-C--
270
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:58,593
What Would Jesus Cheer?
271
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,094
Hey.
Are we practicing?
272
00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:02,129
Oh, my God, what happened
to you? You okay?
273
00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:03,798
I was up all night.
274
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,534
"What was your ex like?"
275
00:10:09,372 --> 00:10:10,705
"Controlling"?
276
00:10:10,707 --> 00:10:13,641
"You mean organized?"
277
00:10:16,278 --> 00:10:18,546
[Scoffs] _
278
00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:21,649
"Was she at least cute?"
279
00:10:21,651 --> 00:10:23,384
"Okay"?
280
00:10:23,386 --> 00:10:25,486
"Crazy"?
281
00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,921
What do you mean "Crazy"?
282
00:10:30,825 --> 00:10:32,058
Where is he?
283
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:36,329
Why isn't he answering?
284
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,330
Am I crazy?
285
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,500
No, he is.
286
00:10:39,502 --> 00:10:42,002
So do you have anything planned
for practice?
287
00:10:42,004 --> 00:10:44,137
No, but it's okay.
288
00:10:44,139 --> 00:10:45,972
I'll just stay up all night
tonight and learn the plays.
289
00:10:45,974 --> 00:10:47,440
I'll be fine. Fine!
290
00:10:47,442 --> 00:10:49,910
- I'll coach Powder Puff.
- Really?
291
00:10:49,912 --> 00:10:52,946
Give me the clipboard
and the whistle.
292
00:10:52,948 --> 00:10:55,481
[Whistle blows]
293
00:10:55,483 --> 00:10:57,951
Hey, Pounder Muffs,
can we practice already?
294
00:10:57,953 --> 00:10:59,786
Practice is postponed
until tomorrow.
295
00:10:59,788 --> 00:11:02,289
I'm taking over coaching duties,
and I need time to prepare.
296
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:03,723
You can't coach.
297
00:11:03,725 --> 00:11:06,192
All you know is losing!
The point is to win.
298
00:11:06,194 --> 00:11:07,960
I could teach you some plays
if you want.
299
00:11:07,962 --> 00:11:09,562
I was tutored
by a Yale football player.
300
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:11,130
I don't need your help.
301
00:11:11,132 --> 00:11:14,066
I'm fine. I just need
to organize my playbook.
302
00:11:14,068 --> 00:11:15,868
And by that, I meant learn
everything there was to know
303
00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,503
about football before tomorrow,
304
00:11:17,505 --> 00:11:19,839
because if the Sophomore Sluts
were making a play
305
00:11:19,841 --> 00:11:22,542
for our senior boys,
they were gonna be intercepted.
306
00:11:22,544 --> 00:11:25,645
Mom, we need to talk
about something.
307
00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:28,012
This is a talk
we should have had a while ago.
308
00:11:28,014 --> 00:11:29,514
I agree.
309
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,883
It has to do
with something in the garage.
310
00:11:31,885 --> 00:11:33,084
Yeah.
311
00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:34,886
This is hard.
Where do I start?
312
00:11:34,888 --> 00:11:37,489
Just be honest with me.
313
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:40,224
After the divorce,
a lot of things changed,
314
00:11:40,226 --> 00:11:42,026
particularly with my finances.
315
00:11:42,028 --> 00:11:43,495
We have to be careful.
316
00:11:43,497 --> 00:11:46,665
So you can imagine
how disappointed I was
317
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:48,733
to find a dent in your car.
318
00:11:48,735 --> 00:11:50,569
What?
319
00:11:50,571 --> 00:11:52,671
I just can't believe
you kept it from me.
320
00:11:52,673 --> 00:11:55,272
Yeah, if I ever found out
that you or dad
321
00:11:55,274 --> 00:11:59,176
were keeping something from me,
I'd be super upset.
322
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,714
Hey, dad.
323
00:12:03,716 --> 00:12:05,115
Can you teach me
some football plays?
324
00:12:05,117 --> 00:12:07,250
I thought this day
would never come.
325
00:12:07,252 --> 00:12:09,687
So, if you call a blast,
then what?
326
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:11,622
The running back takes a quick
handoff from the quarterback
327
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:13,423
and hits the hole
between the guard and tackle.
328
00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:14,992
So proud.
329
00:12:14,994 --> 00:12:16,727
You're really good
at memorizing these plays.
330
00:12:16,729 --> 00:12:18,928
I just really want
to win this game.
331
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:20,730
And don't get me wrong.
332
00:12:20,732 --> 00:12:22,832
I love your sudden interest
in football,
333
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:24,433
but why do you need
to win so badly?
334
00:12:24,435 --> 00:12:26,769
Just senior pride.
335
00:12:26,771 --> 00:12:28,437
And there are these
sophomore girls
336
00:12:28,439 --> 00:12:30,473
we're playing against
who are so annoying!
337
00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:32,775
Both: - The Sophomore Sluts?
- Here we go.
338
00:12:32,777 --> 00:12:34,243
How did you guys know that?
339
00:12:34,245 --> 00:12:36,312
Honey, the Sophomore Sluts
have been around
340
00:12:36,314 --> 00:12:38,714
since the beginning of time.
341
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:41,483
Shameless, disgusting, filthy.
342
00:12:41,485 --> 00:12:43,318
Ally was
an original Sophomore Slut.
343
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,921
Little bitch, before me the
tramp stamp was simply known
344
00:12:45,923 --> 00:12:48,223
as a lower-back tattoo.
345
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,125
"OGSS"--
346
00:12:50,127 --> 00:12:52,027
"Original Sophomore Sluts."
347
00:12:52,029 --> 00:12:54,930
Okay, well, nowadays they wear
colored hair extensions, so...
348
00:12:54,932 --> 00:12:58,066
- Ugh.
- Those nasty little skanks.
349
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,867
- No offense, Ally.
- Oh.
350
00:12:59,869 --> 00:13:02,436
Oh, they were like
sexually aggressive zombies,
351
00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:05,740
and the boys just loved it.
352
00:13:05,742 --> 00:13:08,308
Because guys are assholes.
353
00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:10,144
Oh, yeah, blame it on the guys.
354
00:13:10,146 --> 00:13:11,712
Who else
should we blame, Kevin?
355
00:13:11,714 --> 00:13:14,114
Come on, senior girls
were so stressful
356
00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:16,784
and constantly talking
about their emotions.
357
00:13:16,786 --> 00:13:20,888
Sorry being pregnant brought
out a lot of emotions in me.
358
00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:24,391
Sweetie, I'm all for winning,
but beating the Sophomore Slut--
359
00:13:24,393 --> 00:13:26,060
I mean, girls--
360
00:13:26,062 --> 00:13:27,461
is not gonna keep
your guy friends
361
00:13:27,463 --> 00:13:28,962
from hanging out with them.
362
00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:31,265
They're not bad guys.
They're seniors.
363
00:13:31,267 --> 00:13:32,999
They just want
to have a good time.
364
00:13:33,001 --> 00:13:35,635
- Should we do shots?
- Oh, God.
365
00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:37,471
- [Both laughing]
- Hey, man.
366
00:13:37,473 --> 00:13:39,906
Come hang out with us
when you're done with work.
367
00:13:39,908 --> 00:13:41,075
Let's get fro yo.
368
00:13:41,077 --> 00:13:42,442
Sure, let's go now.
369
00:13:42,444 --> 00:13:45,244
I'm, uh--
I'm done with this job.
370
00:13:45,246 --> 00:13:48,448
I don't actually do anything,
and I am constantly cold.
371
00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:50,584
- Don't you want the extra cash?
- No, it's not worth it, man.
372
00:13:50,586 --> 00:13:52,786
I am sick of people
constantly ordering me around.
373
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:55,589
- You can order me around.
- Let's get out of here.
374
00:13:55,591 --> 00:13:57,156
Whoa.
What are you doing?
375
00:13:57,158 --> 00:13:58,458
While you're on the clock,
your shirt is off.
376
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,294
Well, I'm clocking out
for good.
377
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:04,363
- I feel ridiculous.
- [Giggles] Ridiculously hot.
378
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,164
Listen to the tiny trollop.
379
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:09,702
Oh, yeah?
Later.
380
00:14:09,704 --> 00:14:11,136
Let's go, Mackenzie.
Let's get fro yo.
381
00:14:11,138 --> 00:14:13,472
OMG, I love a badass,
382
00:14:13,474 --> 00:14:15,007
especially a badass
with a good ass.
383
00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:16,575
[Chuckles]
384
00:14:16,577 --> 00:14:18,744
You leave now,
don't you dare come back.
385
00:14:18,746 --> 00:14:20,512
[All laugh]
386
00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:27,742
Why are you wearing a toga?
It's Geek Day.
387
00:14:27,744 --> 00:14:29,744
I thought it was Greek Day.
388
00:14:29,746 --> 00:14:31,680
What's up?
389
00:14:31,682 --> 00:14:33,314
I don't want to be
cheer captain.
390
00:14:33,316 --> 00:14:35,150
What? Why?
391
00:14:35,152 --> 00:14:37,618
Because...
392
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:39,820
Because...
393
00:14:39,822 --> 00:14:41,722
Because...
394
00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:43,991
Because she's coveting
the captaincy,
395
00:14:43,993 --> 00:14:47,295
and a wise and powerful old man
with a beard said that's a sin.
396
00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:49,163
Okay, I don't care
what Santa said.
397
00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:51,832
I need a more concrete excuse,
like an injury.
398
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:53,701
For example,
399
00:14:53,703 --> 00:14:55,503
what if I were to hit you
on your hand right now
400
00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:56,704
with this tape dispenser?
401
00:14:56,706 --> 00:14:58,506
That would take you out, huh?
402
00:14:58,508 --> 00:15:01,841
Never mind!
I'll be cheer captain!
403
00:15:01,843 --> 00:15:05,378
And that's what I call
a Val teaching moment.
404
00:15:07,381 --> 00:15:10,450
I think I'll reward myself
with a spicy Italian sub.
405
00:15:14,488 --> 00:15:16,723
- [Cheers and applause]
- It was game time.
406
00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:18,825
It didn't matter
if Matty and I were on the outs.
407
00:15:18,827 --> 00:15:20,560
It was the principle of it.
408
00:15:20,562 --> 00:15:22,195
If the Sophomore Sluts
were gonna make a play
409
00:15:22,197 --> 00:15:23,829
for the senior boys,
410
00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:26,131
they were gonna be intercepted
or tackled
411
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,868
or some football thing,
if they ever showed up.
412
00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:33,239
[All screaming]
413
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:36,975
Are we shooting
a beer commercial?
414
00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,877
We have no cheerleaders!
415
00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:40,812
The other guys found out Matty
and Jake weren't cheering,
416
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,214
so they bailed.
417
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:43,882
Sheep.
But I'm here.
418
00:15:43,884 --> 00:15:46,752
I'm always here for you, Jenna.
419
00:15:46,754 --> 00:15:49,054
- [Grunts]
- Let me talk to them.
420
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:53,291
[Cheers and applause]
421
00:15:58,097 --> 00:16:01,832
Hey, no biggie, but do you think
you guys could cheer for us?
422
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:03,968
Because you're dragging
everyone down
423
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:05,236
into your
Rebel Without A Cause hole,
424
00:16:05,238 --> 00:16:06,536
and good people
are collateral damage.
425
00:16:06,538 --> 00:16:08,105
But I'm chill.
426
00:16:08,107 --> 00:16:10,540
Really?
'Cause you've got crazy eyes.
427
00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:13,717
Crazy?
I will show you crazy.
428
00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:16,280
Now, get off your lazy asses
and cheering is the least you could do!
429
00:16:16,282 --> 00:16:18,282
Actually,
it's not the least we could do.
430
00:16:18,284 --> 00:16:19,850
- Come on.
- [Cheers and applause]
431
00:16:19,852 --> 00:16:22,552
Let's cheer for the sophomores.
432
00:16:22,554 --> 00:16:25,955
[Cheers and applause]
433
00:16:29,627 --> 00:16:31,728
I had never wanted to win
something so badly.
434
00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,196
The SS were running
435
00:16:33,198 --> 00:16:34,831
some serious interference
with our lives.
436
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,199
They needed to get sacked.
437
00:16:36,201 --> 00:16:38,635
Both:
Go, seniors!
438
00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:42,806
- Let's do this! Whoo!
- [Mouths words] Thank you.
439
00:16:42,808 --> 00:16:45,008
[Whistle blows]
440
00:16:45,010 --> 00:16:47,944
[All screaming]
441
00:16:50,147 --> 00:16:53,082
[Cheers and applause]
442
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:59,455
Go, seniors!
443
00:16:59,457 --> 00:17:02,825
All: Ooh!
444
00:17:02,827 --> 00:17:05,328
Come on.
All right, let's huddle.
445
00:17:05,330 --> 00:17:08,230
[Cheers and applause]
446
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:17,606
Hut, hike.
447
00:17:17,608 --> 00:17:21,275
[Whistle blows,
cheers and applause]
448
00:17:21,277 --> 00:17:24,212
[Dance music]
449
00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:27,882
[All grunting]
450
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:30,017
Boy, that's only halftime.
451
00:17:30,019 --> 00:17:31,720
[Overlapping chatter]
452
00:17:31,722 --> 00:17:33,455
Hey, coach.
453
00:17:33,457 --> 00:17:35,156
I think you're supposed
to give an inspiring speech.
454
00:17:35,158 --> 00:17:36,825
I wasn't feeling inspiring.
455
00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:39,793
I was feeling screwed,
not in a good way.
456
00:17:39,795 --> 00:17:41,896
[Whistle blows]
457
00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:44,031
Okay...
458
00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:46,500
so we are sucking out there,
a lot.
459
00:17:46,502 --> 00:17:48,169
Our own senior boys
are cheering against us,
460
00:17:48,171 --> 00:17:50,171
and no matter how hard we try
to be the mature ones,
461
00:17:50,173 --> 00:17:51,739
they don't appreciate it.
462
00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:54,708
They choose bikinis over robots,
simple over complicated.
463
00:17:54,710 --> 00:17:56,477
And when there is a history
between two people
464
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:58,145
and things get rough,
465
00:17:58,147 --> 00:18:00,114
it is easiest to fall
into the arms of the closest,
466
00:18:00,116 --> 00:18:01,883
sluttiest option.
467
00:18:01,885 --> 00:18:04,818
As long as those sluts exist,
we're never gonna win.
468
00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:08,522
That was literally the worst
pep talk I have ever heard.
469
00:18:08,524 --> 00:18:13,126
I say we go out there
and kick those sluts' asses.
470
00:18:13,128 --> 00:18:16,229
- Are you with me, bitches?
- [All cheer]
471
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:22,302
[Whistle blows]
472
00:18:22,304 --> 00:18:24,904
Looks like your guy friends
came over to our side.
473
00:18:24,906 --> 00:18:28,240
It must suck to be old
and undesirable.
474
00:18:28,242 --> 00:18:30,910
I like your hair.
It almost looks real.
475
00:18:30,912 --> 00:18:32,344
Thank you.
476
00:18:32,346 --> 00:18:34,680
Is yours?
477
00:18:34,682 --> 00:18:37,349
- Whoops.
All: - Oh.
478
00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:39,351
That's when my dad's words
came to me
479
00:18:39,353 --> 00:18:40,753
like a blitz to my brain.
480
00:18:40,755 --> 00:18:42,321
Beating the Sophomore Sluts
in football
481
00:18:42,323 --> 00:18:43,389
wouldn't change anything.
482
00:18:43,391 --> 00:18:44,923
These girls,
483
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:46,658
no matter how much I hated
their bare midriffs
484
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:49,227
and hot pants
weren't the problem.
485
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,729
The problem was Matty.
486
00:18:50,731 --> 00:18:53,765
If you don't do it, I will.
487
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,567
[Rock music]
488
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,269
[Screams]
489
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,672
[All screaming]
490
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:16,186
Sadie, save yourself!
491
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:18,188
[Whistle blows]
492
00:19:20,386 --> 00:19:21,719
My first fight, and
I didn't feel like a badass.
493
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:23,520
I just had a bad taste
in my mouth.
494
00:19:23,522 --> 00:19:25,489
Seniors had lost Spirit Week
to the sophomores
495
00:19:25,491 --> 00:19:28,726
for the first time in,
well, ever.
496
00:19:29,028 --> 00:19:32,029
Then again, maybe the bad taste
was from all the dirt I ate
497
00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:33,864
when Jackie smooshed my face
into the ground.
498
00:19:33,866 --> 00:19:37,501
Hey, thank you for having
my back earlier.
499
00:19:37,503 --> 00:19:40,914
No worries, and I didn't know
you and Matty had dated.
500
00:19:40,949 --> 00:19:43,106
If I had known that, I would have
invited you inside the other day.
501
00:19:43,108 --> 00:19:45,174
It's okay. I'm sorry
for being a jerk to you
502
00:19:45,176 --> 00:19:47,043
just because
Matty's being a jerk to me.
503
00:19:47,045 --> 00:19:49,212
Well, I just hope
we can be friends.
504
00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:51,548
Chicks before dicks...
always.
505
00:19:53,619 --> 00:19:56,453
Whoo!
506
00:19:56,455 --> 00:19:58,889
- Hey, hey, hey!
- [Laughs]
507
00:19:58,891 --> 00:20:00,690
It's time
to ghost ride the whip!
508
00:20:00,692 --> 00:20:02,459
Yes, hotness!
509
00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:03,927
Oh, if anything happens
to your car,
510
00:20:03,929 --> 00:20:05,061
your parents
are gonna kill you.
511
00:20:05,063 --> 00:20:07,262
Oh, lighten up, Rosati.
512
00:20:07,264 --> 00:20:09,164
All right, well,
I'm gonna film it.
513
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:13,536
[All cheering]
514
00:20:13,538 --> 00:20:15,604
Okay, okay, go.
515
00:20:15,606 --> 00:20:17,640
Whoo!
516
00:20:17,642 --> 00:20:19,675
[Dance music]
517
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:22,277
518
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:25,082
Holy shit.
519
00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:28,150
[Crashes]
520
00:20:28,152 --> 00:20:30,385
- Holy fucking shit!
- Holy fucking shit!
521
00:20:31,088 --> 00:20:32,721
Next on Awkward...
522
00:20:32,723 --> 00:20:34,056
Hey, you should stop by
this fund-raiser tonight.
523
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,191
- I'll try to make it.
- Do that.
524
00:20:35,493 --> 00:20:37,860
Your sorority is amaze-tits.
525
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:42,030
Vodka plus girl talk plus communal
closet equals happy Tamara.
526
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,799
Yes, hot tub.
527
00:20:44,849 --> 00:20:49,399
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