Original subtitles

[narrator] George Michael's relationship with Rebel

began under false pretenses...

How does your privacy software work?

It's private.

...and a false name.

George Mi-- Harris.

Rebel would soon unwittingly

be dating George Michael's father...

I just put your name in for something.

...who was also operating under false pretenses

as the producer of a movie about his family

he didn't have the rights for.

It might not even happen because I don't think I can ask my son.

What happened between him and me was very disappointing.

As he'd been unexpectedly voted out of his son's dorm...

-and forced to find a new home. -[wand beeps]

-You take it. -But you've got nothing in your luggage.

I wasn't supposed to be traveling today.

It was voting, there was a miscalculation.

Obviously, P-Hound's gonna vote against you.

So, it was Gob who asked George Michael

to meet his father...

...while he too was operating under false pretenses.

I'm trying to lock this guy Tony into this gay magic trick,

and I just needed believable arm candy.

But the deception caused Michael to think

Gob was his rival.

Rebel Alley. Where is she?

And an out of control Michael fought with his brother

even though he'd done nothing wrong.

I filled all your houses.

With who?

With sex offenders.

...or at the very most, one thing wrong.

But, in fact, it was George Michael

in his alter ego as George Maharis

who has become Michael's actual rival for Rebel.

What if I told you that he and I were twins?

Although twins turned out to be an apt description.

Ironically, the UCI housing office

also thought George Michael was a twin.

They're twins, ugly.

We should sign them up for twin club.

And while those false pretenses made it hard to be on campus...

it did get him a pretty cool room.

George Michael Bluth had never been more popular.

He was surrounded by people thrilled to be in his company.

They're out of root beer.

So I got you one with the last bit of root beer

because I remember somebody was saying,

George Michael likes root beer.

And as his business was taking off...

Thanks a lot.

You guys don't have to do all this.

This was just a little get-together for my girlfriend

to show her I'm doing well.

...so was his romantic life.

Hey, stop it!

That was the last root beer snow cone.

I got that for him, Carlos.

Teach you for being such a kiss-ass, Terry.

And it was an ex-Bluth employee

who was the most grateful to be in his company.

-Want any of these? -No, I'm fine.

You know, I really appreciate you guys doing all this.

I just wish I understood...

why?

That's why!

Because you could ask us why we do this,

and mean it.

The fact that you could be so down to earth...

And look so young.

...while you're starting this giant company.

You've created an opportunity many of us

thought we'd never have again.

See, that's the part I don't understand, Carlos.

-You know my name! -What's his name?

You're the kiss-ass, Carlos.

Guys, I'm gonna learn all your names.

-I promise. -George.

And that's when he heard what had become his name.

-What is all this? -It's just a little surprise.

-You did this for me? -Yes!

Well, they did it for me,

but only because they knew I wanted to do something for you.

Maybe we could talk without your friends.

These guys aren't really my friends.

I barely know their names.

I mean, I know Carlos, but...

only because of that old song, "Carlos the Tickle Monster."

Wait, what song is that?

God, I knew he made that up.

But it did help me remember.

Don't worry about these guys. They're not listening to a word.

How about that kiss?

We need to talk.

[all] Ooh.

Now the story of what happened

when the one man who was holding his family together

finally let go,

and the separate journeys that eventually gave them no choice

but to come back together.

It's Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences.

Months before the party,

George Michael was readying his dorm room for Rebel.

-Look, I got us a peace pizza. -That's great.

-You gotta go. -What'd you do with my stuff?

I've got a girl coming over...

Yet he still wasn't ready to let go...

-...of Maeby. -It's not Maeby, no. But...

You have to stay away, She's already trying to start Fakeblock,

-and I'm trying to stop her. -You can't. It's our company.

-But it's not real. -Could you please leave?

First you "F" me with Fakeblock, and then kick me out when you have a hottie coming?

-I have rights. -You know what?

You voided your rights when you took this picture of Maeby brushing her teeth.

-Not against the rules. -Still a little weird.

But not against the rules.

-Well...

Know what? This is no longer a peace pizza.

That is a war pizza.

Okay, that's fine.

Enjoy your war pizza.

The pizza hadn't even cooled

before George Michael had officially gotten over Maeby.

Thanks for keeping it down for my RA.

You were keeping it down, right?

You know what really impresses me about you?

How little you try to impress me.

I aim to not please.

I just came from a dinner

with this right-wing politician

and his date, who was an actual hooker.

-They sound like terrible people. -They were.

So, wait, is this where you conceived Fakeblock?

It was George Michael's first chance

to truly be unpretentious

and undo the big lie.

On the other hand,

she thought he was

an unpretentious software genius.

If she were to learn

that he was merely a wood block player

with a heightened ability to track the passage of time,

perhaps she would rightly feel

lack of pretension should be a given.

It was after second 23 that he said...

Yes, it was right in here.

-Wow. -Yeah.

This is like making love with the Wright brothers

in their bicycle shop.

I'm sure she just meant one of them.

Hey, how about her knowing they had a bicycle shop?

A little token...

And the next morning...

Listen, I got to go shoot a PSA.

I'll text you from the car.

No, don't...

-Action. -Tweet and drive.

Yeah, that was good, but it's "text."

And we need the word "don't."

[man] Don't Tweet and Drive PSA, take 19.

Don't make me do another one, Ron.

Did we get that? That was a don't.

But upon returning to his dorm,

George Michael discovered that

P-Hound had officially filed a grievance

with the Student Housing office.

So P-Hound claims that George Michael...

Make a note of that, that's one person.

I know.

Messed with his stuff and stole some software thing?

Yeah, and George Michael claims that nobody can live with P-Hound.

Somebody's got to go.

It's time for a vote.

We'll each get one vote.

That doesn't really seem fair,

you guys are obviously gonna vote for the same person.

Right, because we're twins,

and we have no sense of ourselves as individuals.

That's right.

Fine. We'll each get a half vote.

And the four men cast their three votes.

It's a tie...

One and a half to one and a half.

The twins were proud to show that they voted differently from one another.

We're gonna need a tie-breaker, ugly.

Fortunately, they were able

to bring in two more half votes.

-It's a tie. Two to two. -...who also proved...

...they were capable of having opposite opinions.

-Double tie! Yeah! -Yeah!

To break the tie,

more members of Twin Club joined the electorate.

A quadruple tie!

Which also jammed up the works.

-Yeah! -Yeah! Go.

Maybe we should just bring in a single person now.

You mean, like, not a twin?

Just to speed things along.

And perhaps it was that comment...

I guess one head's better than two. Twin hater.

We've been dealing with twincists like you all our lives.

...that united the voting body into a greater cause

than expressing their individuality.

And with the exception of George Michael's vote...

P-Hound

George Michael. George Michael. George Michael.

George Michael. George Michael.

George Michael...

-...and one other curiosity... -Fender from Futurama

I almost wrote that.

...it was a George Michael blitz.

George Michael and...

a half vote for "George Michael, twincist."

See you later, twin hater.

I'm not...

And that's when he ran into...

-[horn honks] -...his beeping uncle.

Uncle Gob, what are you doing?

I was in the neighborhood. I happened to remember how much you love bologna.

So, yeah, I just... I found this great ShopRite

and I thought, "You know who's got to have a taste,

is young George Michael."

He didn't think George Michael liked bologna.

He was trying to correct a bad impression

he felt he might have made with his nephew a few nights earlier.

My God, Uncle Gob, what is this?

Can't lie to you, George Michael. It's a forget me now.

I wanted you to forget what happened at that magic club.

I was embarrassed.

If you don't want me to tell anyone about it, I won't.

I'm such a fool.

I go to those things too quickly.

Really, it's just the age we live in. Take a pill to forget your problems.

Take a pill to go to sleep.

And take a pill to forget your problems.

Need an erection, take a pill.

Need to forget your problems, take a pill.

Take a pill and your problems are forgotten.

Take a pill.

What an age we live in. It's great, isn't it?

What's with the suitcase.

I got kicked out of my dorm.

That was a freebie.

You in the market to buy a house?

It's a great time to buy.

I don't want to buy a house. I don't have that kind of money.

Money? Ninja, please. You don't need money.

With that Fakeblock thing you got going

and your great credit rating,

we can put you in a Bluth in no time.

Frankly, it wasn't the kind of risk

George Michael would take.

But then Gob said something that changed his mind.

Plus, it would make your dad proud.

I know that he's still really disappointed about you...

-That I blew him off? -Blew him off.

Boy, is he disappointed about that.

-I would love to say yes... -Yes! There it is!

I got my much-vaunted yes!

Gob felt good.

He would be able to prove to his brother

that he could actually sell a house.

George Michael felt good, because he could prove to his father

that he did indeed support him.

And the residents of Sudden Valley felt good,

because it turns out,

the very young-looking man

who drove down their street that afternoon...

Hello, young man.

How young are you?

I'm good. How you doing?

No, how young are you?

I'm 22.

...was over 21,and they wouldn't have to search

for a home that was even more remote.

He's 22, but looks 16.

The Sudden Valley residents wasted no time

in welcoming George Michael to the community.

...welcome you to the neighborhood.

Thank you. Hi. Hello again. Welcome back.

...every chance they got.

It's so nice.

It's my birthday.

It's everyone's birthday.

I wonder who this is from.

We said no clothes, Carlos.

A hat is not clothes.

A hat is clothes.

I wish I had something to offer you.

Here you are, guests in my home,

and you've gotten me beautiful gifts.

Feels like it should be the other way around.

[man] Football!

And it was during an impromptu touch football game...

No, guys the play is dead. The play is dead.

Maybe we can't play skins versus skins.

Tops versus bottoms?

...that the idea of a party for his girlfriend came up.

Let's throw her a party, Sudden Valley style.

And while George Michael was building new relationships...

...privacy on the web, until now.

Maeby was building his new business

...and bringing in more cash as a result,

her self-esteem growing every day.

Over the following days, Maeby was able to

discreetly bring in cash from Herbert Love

for services she got her mother to unknowingly render.

Why don't you take him out to dinner?

-Put it on the family tab. -Of course.

This high school senior was working several jobs

We have to be discreet.

And she did her jobs well.

-What? -Discreet!

She even started a Fakeblock office,

after trading shares to a new silent partner for George Michael.

Stock options?

The shares turned out to be useful for a lot of things.

-Hey. -Hi.

You rented a little office.

I don't want you to see it yet. Still setting it up...

with a little help from a wealthy benefactor,

Lucille Two.

-Gangie. -No, Lucille Two.

Austero?

-I don't know who that is. -You don't?

Never met the woman.

She'll be the one driving the stair car from now on.

-It was part of the deal. -You gave her my car?

It's technically hers anyways, because of the Bluth Company.

But I did get you her 1988 yellow Cadillac.

She only uses it to and from hip replacements.

I guess that's only funny if you know who she is.

And so, George Michael was proud to invite Rebel

to see how successful George Maharis had become.

and how many people were eager to be in his company.

No, I'm fine. He was tickling me in there.

-What is all this? -Just a little surprise.

-You did this for me? -Yes.

-But Rebel had other concerns. -We need to talk.

[all] Ooh.

This is it.

This is the place.

Hope you don't find it too pretentious.

Well, what happened to the old "anything goes in the dorm"?

Well, I got this place instead. You know, I guess I wanted to impress you.

I'm gonna get furniture, obviously.

The guys from Homefill are coming this week.

That's not the problem.

No, that's not the problem.

Wrong house, buddy.

No, this is my son, Lem Depardieu.

-Hey, baby. -Hi.

Jacqueline still in the car?

You have a son?

-Yeah. -Hey, Lem.

-Hi. -How you doing?

I love kids. You want a Twister?

I was given four Twisters. You should take one.

-Take a Twister. -You know what, honey?

Do you want to give Mommy

some alone time with her friend?

-Maybe he could play in the pool. -Yeah.

He'll be safe. There's a hundred guys there.

-Make sure you wear your sunblock. -Okay.

In fact, it was the folks in the pool who were more at risk

of being near Lem

than he was of them.

Wow, what a great kid.

You know, when I said I was not eager to have kids,

but I think it's great that you have a son.

I have a spare room here

that the two of you could stay in.

Or maybe you could just stay in it.

He doesn't live with me. He lives in France with his father.

He just visits March and April during French pilot season.

But that's what I'm talking about.

I just don't want to get that serious.

Because you're seeing someone else?

No! I mean, yes,

I'm seeing someone else,

but I don't want to get serious with him, either,

and you're telling people in the neighborhood

that we're seeing each other.

What happened to the guy who founded Fakeblock?

The guy who keeps things anonymous?

I can do anonymous.

I'm all about staying anonymous.

That's Fakeblock's mission statement.

And now you're asking Lem and me to move into this house,

and it just seems all backwards.

Sorry.

Maybe it is backwards.

[tile shatters]

George Michael shared his relationship problem

with the one other woman he'd had a relationship problem with.

-That's ridiculous. -Right.

You haven't told her your real name, have you?

What? No, no. No, she still thinks I'm George Maharis.

But she's dating another guy,

which is probably the whole reason

she's always saying I'm moving too fast.

I take things too seriously.

I take things too serious.

I take things too seriously.

I need to note which one of those is correct,

because I sound like a horse's ass when I alternate between the two.

I need to get my [bleep] together.

But the point is that I take things...

easily-breezily.

Well, a real serioush woman

knows what she wants and moves quickly.

"Serioush" is nothing.

That's not a word.

Are you ready to see your office?

I have been. It's great. I like it a lot.

I wonder if she's gonna think

we've been a little lavish with money.

You know, is it too much? But then to contradict myself,

I do think, at some point, it would be good to get a second chair

just in case we have a guest, but I'm thinking big picture.

Buddy, this isn't your office.

She's over here.

Welcome.

I'm a softie. I hired the guy.

He's more like a mascot than anything. Mort, where's my coffee?

Damn. Stupid Mort.

I know. It's okay, just focus.

I'm going to take the cart and show George Michael his new office.

-Speechless? -How do I get back?

When Fakeblock hits,

we're going to have to ramp up real fast.

This hangar can hold over 500 nerds!

Maeby, we can't afford this.

And my software isn't even ready.

Don't worry about that.

Just worry about being done in time for the big public unveiling at Cinco.

-I'll get the money. -Isn't that in three days?

No, that's Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Cuatro is in two days.

We'll be doing it on a boat, so I hope you don't get seasick.

You're doing the keynote.

You're responsible for all of this.

-Come on. -What... No, I...

I think we...

All of this.

I think we should delay the keynote.

I'd say yes, but I don't think we can

because of the sheer amount of money that you have on the hook for it.

Maeby, you're fired!

And although Mort knew he was going to be next...

there was nothing that could have prepared George Michael

for what Mort would end up leaving on his desk.

Maeby had just lost a big career option,

and as she was on her way to visit a high school boyfriend

she was hoping to entrap...

-What are you doing? -Long story.

I'm just here to see Lucille Two.

She ran into the current squatter of the penthouse.

Come here for one second. I need to talk to you...

about something very important.

Yeah... Uncle Michael,

I'm really sorry about that whole

"voting you out of the dorm" thing.

We never really meant it to...

I knew it.

I knew you didn't understand it.

I knew you guys were all...

'Cause I didn't...

I don't think I explained it very well,

and it was very simple. I made it complicated.

It was a four-person vote.

I voted against myself, so that P-Hound...

That's a way that scenario would've worked out.

What I later realized is there was another scenario...

Maeby. There was another.

-Yeah. -C scenario.

-I really got to get going. -Where you... Okay.

Before you do... I need your signature here at the bottom.

Doing a movie about the family.

-Yeah. Is that still happening? -What do you mean?

I gotta tell you, I think movies are dead.

Maybe, it's a TV show.

This girl that I'm dating, Rebel, she's gonna be in it,

and she would never do TV.

You're dating Rebel Alley?

Yeah, I have a picture of us to prove it.

I can't find it, but...

So, you're the other guy.

You know her personally?

Yes. I mean, that's how I know

that you were dating her.

Do you know the other guy that she's dating?

And that's when she saw an opportunity

to get back at George Michael.

No, no, but I know it's over.

-She is dumping him. -She's dumping him?

Apparently, he was coming on too strong,

taking it too seriously.

She hates that.

-That what she said? -That's what she told me.

Just kills it for her.

She wants it easily-breezily.

Well, that's informative.

I owe you. Thank you.

No, you don't.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. Don't knock, just...

Okay.

One second.

And so fortified with Maeby's information that

Rebel was breaking up with her other beau...

-Hello. -Michael.

...Michael decided to move things along.

I think that I've been coming on a little bit too strong.

I got a lot going on, I got the movie.

A bunch of stuff with the housing complex, and I'm just...

I'm not gonna be pressuring you anymore. I want to just keep it easy-peasy.

-Cool, totally. -Yeah.

-Keep it loose. -Yeah.

And we'll have some fun with, you know...

If the fun, you know...

Someday, one day, it gets more serious,

you know, then it does, and we...

We're walking down the aisle, you know, and...

I'm saying it wrong, because I get tongue-tied,

because I think that you...

are coming on too strong.

You know? Bugging me.

You want to come in?

No?

Yeah? Yeah.

It was the best sex Michael ever had.

Was that fun for you?

No.

Are you gonna take a photo of me?

No...

No, no, I've been trying to get a signal.

But he wanted a picture of them together,

which is why he grabbed the one he saw

from the photo booth.

Are you gonna call me?

If I'm in traffic.

Although he was growing concerned

about how he was going to keep this up.

Hey.

♪ I just stole this fair young miss ♪

♪ From a big shot, George... ♪

[bleep]

On the next Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences.

Having found out the woman he loves

is also dating his son...

Michael places a call to the niece who sent him there.

-Hello? -You're out of the movie.

And George Michael finds himself

the subject of a lawsuit over the ownership of Fakeblock.

Was it or was it not my client

who put up the initial seed money

for the block software

that served as the underlying architecture of Fakeblock?

It was 99 cents.

[all] Times three.

Can I say something to my client?

Take to the sea!

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