Original subtitles

[narrator] Three days before many of the Bluths

would come back together,

Lindsay Bluth was on her way

to the first phase

-of an act of political sabotage... -My dad's tux looks good on you.

...with her face-blind boyfriend.

I don't care.

Together, they were targeting...

This guy... Herbert Love.

A candidate whose campaign slogan

...say High-low to my Low-high plan.

The "Low" is for low taxes.

[narrator] ...was embraced by everyone from the very wealthy...

...and who doesn't want high income?

[narrator] ...to their bankers and tax attorneys.

It's worth noting that this was the same Herbert Love

who'd recently adopted Lindsay's brother.. .Buster Bluth.

We could use a Blind Side monster.

And Herbert was soon

using the veteran at rallies.

Hold your government hand out...

...as a symbol of government waste.

Let's give freedom from government

a big thumbs up.

...although Buster had not mastered

the use of his Army-issued, bionic hand.

Buster's actual father, George Sr.,

needed the help of Herbert Love...

-What? -He's got a rally tonight.

...to gain support for a wall project...

...to separate the US and Mexico

to keep out the immigrants.

which some considered insensitive.

-Your idea. -Which was my idea!

George Sr. was feeling more sensitive by the day.

I'd be lucky to sell a glass of lemonade for $1,000 today,

But Marky's idea was very different.

Three days before the event, I'm going to take the explosive

and hide in the podium...

...and he had planned an act of glittery social protest

You're going to knock on the podium door. Let me know the coast is clear.

When Love steps up to the podium

at exactly eight o'clock, blam!

Thing is, I can't find the glitter anywhere...

But Lindsey had only signed on to the project

because she was mad at her mother, Lucille.

"From Gangie for Facelift." Mother.

...over what she assumed her mother

had sent her daughter Maeby:

a check for plastic surgery.

What makes you think I wrote a check to your daughter?

In fact, it was Maeby's royalty check

for this film.

But when she revealed she was living in the penthouse...

The apple does not far from the tree fall.

Lindsay felt she needed to prove...

I am like you nothing.

I am a political activist.

...which is why she decided...

I'm in.

-Let's bomb the bastard. -Yes!

but as she pulled up to the hotel,

her stridency was waning

Look, um...

I have this check that my mother wrote for my daughter...

It can buy us a lot of leaflets against Love.

And also a lot of Nature's Miracle.

You know there's a huge sale going on at Petco.

No, never. Rip it up. No money.

Don't worry. I've thought of everything.

He had.

Except for someone to watch Cindy.

But she's locked in. What's the worst that can happen?

As it turned out, she wouldn't be locked in for long...

...as Maeby would let the ostrich in heat out

while looking for the very check Marky

had told Lindsay to rip up.

No money.

...before going to squat in a podium for three days.

What a great day to step out

onto an over-irrigated golf course

and play a game that wastes vast acres

of usable, farmable land.

And while she didn't find the check

she did find an invitation to an award show

that honored young Hollywood.

I'm getting an Opie?

The only bigger honor would be having an award like that

named after you, I guess.

But it was an important morale-booster,

as she was jealous of her cousin George Michael's accomplishments

-as a college senior. -Have you told her about your software?

So, it's privacy software that's also anti-piracy?

Thanks, yeah.

It was neither.

In fact, it was actually this...

...programmers call "hacker traps."

which uses false meta data...

...a fake woodblock app...

But George Michael could see

he was impressing her

so he continued the lie...

It's called Fakeblock.

Plus, he wanted to expose her

to his newly overtly sexual persona.

Just trying to be those guys.

That's how George Michael came to make his move.

Are you gonna come by on Thursday?

I don't think so. I have this thing in L.A.

Can you blow it off?

You might want to get graduating high school

out of the way.

I'm getting a Lifetime Achievement Award at this gala.

Might want to get that out of the way too, I guess.

You want me to go with you to that?

I could pick you up at your place.

They're actually shooting a thing at my place.

As it turns out,

they'd end up just clubbing a Thing.

Yeah, that might actually be a good idea,

because I can't bring my friends without permission from their parents.

With the exception of her boyfriend, Perfecto,

about whom she recently discovered...

He's a cop.

Maeby realized she needed to get something incriminating

on Perfecto

before he could get her kicked out of school.

But she was soon to learn.

that her grades might beat him to it.

I got you tacos.

I hope that's okay,

because you're gonna sit here and study.

No, I can't.

Young lady, you better pull it together,

or you're not going to graduate.

Are you on drugs?

Because from what I hear,

there might be an undercover cop at this school.

How long do you wanna stay in high school?

You're 17.

And that's when she remembered that Perfecto thought

she was 17 too.

You know what? I think I will do better

once I get a little Mexican in me.

Maeby and Perfecto weren't the only ones

acting younger than they really were.

And in an effort to impress the young entourage

that was growing weary of his act,

Gob stopped in front of a club to pick up some women.

And so the night before Mark Cherry

was also due to be honored at the Opies,

the gang from the Malibu Colony

met the gang from Gob's bee colony.

I'm like, "Those are police boats..."

So everybody's running around...

To the entourage, the evening was a complete disaster.

Drunken, sick and covered with bee stings,

they had truly hit bottom.

But to the man they called Getaway,

it was an amazing night,

and he couldn't wait to forget it.

Fun day.

Fun night.

Now the story of what happened

when the one man

who was holding his family together

finally let go,

and the separate journeys

that eventually gave them no choice,

but to come back together.

It's Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences.

On the day of the Opies,

Gob headed out to make sure everything was in order,

trying not to arouse the gang he felt he'd won back,

with what he dimly recalled to be a fun night.

Wake up!

And that night, a softening George Sr.

arrived to meet the candidate Herbert Love at his rally.

So... tender.

At the same hotel that was hosting

Young Hollywood's Opie Awards.

[crowd laughing]

It's really nice to be out with you as adults.

In Spain they don't even eat dinner until after 11 p.m.

I'm going to mingle with 13-year-olds who think they still play fifth grade.

And, as he told himself,

it was okay to unleash

his overtly sexual persona

on his cousin...

Gentlemen, start your engines.

...he inadvertently ogled his aunt,

who'd arrived in disguise.

And Maeby ran into her old studio boss, Mort Meyers.

I'm actually getting the Lifetime Achievement Opie tonight.

I'm very sorry.

They only give that award away to somebody after they die

or, even worse, after your career's dead.

Really?

Consider yourself lucky...

They told you your career was over.

I didn't find out until I was locked out of my office.

I passed on Hunger Games.

It wasn't the most graceful of exits.

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

This is for you.

Thanks, man.

Actually, the exit was pretty graceful.

I think I just remember it that way

because it got dicey when I was sneaking back in

to take a [bleep] on Sid's desk.

But do what I do. When they kick you out of the business,

save face by starting your own internet company.

You started an internet company?

It's the real deal.

It's a system that automates provision--

And, once again, she found herself

with someone who had not only moved on with their life,

but done so in ways she couldn't understand.

...overseas financial transactions. It's called Schnoodle.

-Schnoodle. -It was a busy night at the hotel.

Take a hat. We got 18,000 of them.

And as Maeby put on a brave face...

George Sr. put on a braver one.

I just think there'll be lot of support

flowing in this relationship.

And your base...

You got a point behind all those teeth?

If you support the wall, I'll give you a piece of the action

-Action? -Yeah.

-Action Jackson? -Yes, sir.

Do I look like Carl Weathers to you?

No, no.

Do I look like someone who eats at CW Swappigan's?

I don't want to be the one to say it,

but I happen to be fond of redheads and greenbacks.

George Sr, had neither.

How would you like both?

Buenas noches...

I will be needing a room...

-How many nights? -Two.

No, just one night. I thought you were saying people.

-And how many beds? -Two.

No, one bed...

Why give her the option? Keep itn real simple.

One bed, one night, two people that's solved for X.

I hate Young Hollywood.

Maeby soon ran into an actress she knew...

from the time before that actress cleaned up her act.

Next time, don't pocket it.

Pay for it.

♪ I mean come on ♪

And you're getting the Lifetime Achievement Award?

You want me to play the bagpipes at your funeral?

You know, I can laugh about it,

because I'm actually on the upswing.

I was just telling Mort here...

that I've actually started my own internet company.

I was just about to tell you.

-How do we know each other? -We don't.

That's what it is.

Schnoodle's dead. Fakeblock is the next big thing.

But George Michael was surprised to hear Maeby

talking about a software.

...called Fakeblock.

What's this? You're talking about Fakeblock?

Yes, your privacy software.

...that didn't exist.

-How does your privacy software work? -It's private.

Can I talk to you for a second, please?

I don't want people to know I'm doing this.

Everybody has to know about this, okay?

This could be big for me.

I could make Fakeblock huge.

Maeby, there is no company.

Fakeblock is just a software that I'm developing.

And the whole point is that it's private.

So you can't be telling people about it.

We've got to tell people about it.

I just got a Lifetime Achievement Award.

I'm finished.

And also, I think you should consider calling it The Fake Block.

-It's cleaner, like "the Netflix." -It's just not ready.

There's still a bunch of programming problems.

You can get it ready, George Michael.

Think they invite animals

and ask 'em to wait while they build the zoo?

No, that would be a bloodbath.

Yeah, a total [bleep] bloodbath.

-We have no money to start a business. -Don't worry.

I'll get the ball rolling with free publicity

when I accept my award.

Come on, this could be my only chance to be a "hairess."

A "hairess"?

You can still be the boss, okay?

Just don't want people to know I'm working with my cousin.

So you are not my cousin.

You are not George Michael Bluth.

I'm great with that.

In fact, you know what might really help us sell it...

Oh, heiress! You don't pronounce the "h."

-And that's not what heiress means. -I pronounce the "h."

But that's not how the word--

We say words the way we say them for a reason...

So, what is this?

Is this another one of these social networking things?

Because I am so over those.

I tried to deactivate my Facebook profile.

It's easier to get out of Scientology.

Well, this is actually the opposite of Facebook.

It's the anti-social network.

It prevents piracy. Right?

Really?

Rebel Alley.

George Mi-hairess.

George Maharis.

And that's how George Michael finally got himself

a new name.

Strong, rugged... untainted.

Yes, George Maharis.

Perfecto.

De nada.

That's my undercover cop boyfriend.

I'm trying to get him in bed.

Boyfriend?

So funny that didn't come up in the car.

George Michael had just discovered

that Maeby had a boyfriend.

So, how does it work?

How does what work?

Your privacy software.

How does it protect you from piracy?

I don't know.

Don't worry about it.

No, you really piqued my interest.

I'm sorry.

But some women don't forget being told no.

Marion Ross comes to mind.

And Maeby set to work

entrapping this local predator.

I know why you're here.

Promise you won't tell anyone at school.

I'm just a huge fan of teen stars.

Yeah. Very convincing.

You're a better actor than most of the kids here.

Even Zack and Cody.

Are they here?

I thought they were filming a movie in Maui.

Look, I may only be 17, Perfecto, but I know you're a cop.

There's that cop stare.

I got to tell you...

I find it very sexy.

Okay,

I'm a cop.

I'm working here undercover.

We're hunting down an ex-CIA operative named Estevez,

who's gone rogue--

It's the kids from Modern Family.

He's become a drug kingpin

and his son goes to Newport.

There's something going down tonight or possibly even at Cinco-- [yells] Rico!

Wow, you are good.

I have to be.

Our lives depend on it.

To be continued.

You better believe it.

Rico!

But George Sr. was far from rico himself,

despite promising Herbert Love he had money.

But at least he could go home.

with some coconut shrimp.

I should have known you'd be here.

supporting this right-wing, dangerous crack-pot.

Lindsay, I forgot. You dyed your hair.

What are you doing here?

I'm supporting Love as well.

We're both doing that.

Oh honey, I wanted to contact you

every single day since last May.

I haven't seen you since January.

Yeah, the first four months, I was in denial.

How are you?

Are you good?

Do you have any money?

Not really.

Except for a $50,000 check

your wife sent to my daughter for plastic surgery.

What kind of woman does that?

I thought there was no money left.

Oh no.

That's awful.

She's just precious the way she is.

Does Maizie even know?

Her name is Maeby.

You don't think "Maizie" is cuter?

You know what I want to do? I want to take this...

and I want to deposit it in a trust fund...

that she can't open until she's 21.

She was 22 at the time.

I guess I can't use it anyway.

Are you kidding me?

You are the most beautiful little girl.

If you have any more work,

your cartilage is going to collapse.

Let me see if I can...

There you go.

And that's when George Sr...

Got the check.

...finally tipped a black man.

Man...

I am going to put this on my wall.

It was then that Lindsay ran into a daughter,

whose $50,000 check she'd just given away

stealing some coconut shrimp.

Of course you're here. I should have known you'd be supporting

this right-wing, dangerous crack pot.

No, I am here undercover

with my boyfriend.

We are going to take down Love

with a random act of senseless non-violence.

Maeby felt a foreign feeling.

I actuallyrespect that.

Thank you, Maeby.

Which is why, for the first time in her adult life...

So, what are you doing here?

Maeby was totally honest with her mother.

I'm getting a Lifetime Achievement Award

for my work in the entertainment business.

I tried.

Tell your therapist I tried.

I'm not in therapy.

Then I must have done something right.

And soon she was saying farewell to Hollywood

in a way she hoped they'd remember.

Thank you, Kirk Cameron,

for that incredibly Bible-y introduction.

Okay, tie yourself to your chair,

because this is going to be a rough [bleep] ride.

I'm leaving this [bleep], dying business,

to join the software game.

Double [bleep] news flash.

I'm starting Fakeblock...

with George Maharis,

the world's first anti-social network.

So you can take this Opie and shove it up your [bleep],

because I will [bleep]

the next goddamn [bleep]

who tells me I'm finished.

You [bleep].

You can all go [bleep] yourselves.

What? Sure.

Please welcome the talented voices of Phineas and Ferb.

Go [bleep] yourself.

[bleep] you!

Meanwhile, Gob had arrived back stage

and was doing some advanced recon for Mark Cherry...

-Where's the cocounut shrimp? -...before his scheduled performance.

Especially if they could get it with a bit of...

It was then that Gob noticed

the presence of a competitor from his past.

Tony Wonder.

That lousy, failed magician.

Gob realized that where there was glitter

there must also be Tony Wonder,

waiting to make his magical re-appearance

so he decided to take advantage

of an unexpected diversion

and have a little fun by wedging shut a panel on the podium

he knew Tony Wonder would pop out of.

You guys wanna see a real failed magician?

Get down to the Opies tonight.

It's gonna be hysterical.

But, while Gob dimly remembered the fun night,

he'd completely forgotten the seven ambulances

that had arrived after Josh Abramson

had swung by to pick up an old computer.

[Josh] One of them is Mark Cherry. He's a singer.

[woman] Calm down. How many ambulances?

[Josh] Five, ten. Maybe seven at least.

[narrator] That's how Gob found out his colony...

had checked into rehab.

Come on, you guys. It's just...

a little alcohol poisoning never killed anyone.

Actually, alcohol poisoning is responsible

for over four thousand deaths a year.

"Binge-drinking." Not cool.

♪ I mean come on ♪

Well.That's a drag.

I thought we were friends.

But, of course, they weren't.

And that's when he saw Tony Wonder.

[Tony] I'm here and I'm queer...

...come out of a speaker.

And now I'm in a speaker.

No one can stop us.

Wait, if...

If Wonder wasn't in the... podium, then who's...

It was Marky, of course.

But moments earlier, and realizing

it was still too early to let him out of the podium...

Lindsay headed to the bar

and was suddenly face-to-face

with Herbert Love...

...are we the only two people who don't fit in

with all these Orange County phonies?

...and had no idea who he was.

They are a bunch of phonies.

I usually don't even go to these things.

And perhaps it was because

he reminded her so much of Tobias

when they first started dating,

that Lindsay flirted back.

-What's your name, princess? -Cindy Feather...bottom.

Of the Laguna Beach Featherbottoms?

Are you trying to find out where I live?

And your favorite kind of jewelry.

Lindsay hadn't heard the word jewelry in a long time,

but tried to stay strong.

How do I know you're not one of these phonies?

The only phony I'm interested in...

is your phone-y number.

And, like Cinderella at the ball...

Lindsay really felt like a princess, for a change.

But also like Cinderella,

she lost track of the time.

[explosion]

And that's when she was struck

with an eerie sense of deja vu.

Lindsay!

Oh God.

He blue himself.

Lindsay's attempt to create a disaster for Herbert Love

was a complete disaster.

And as she tried to slip away

without drawing attention to herself,

she was once again approached by the man

whose name she never got.

Perhaps we can engage in some sexual congress.

But that's a total give away, right?

What a wonderful sense of humor.

I'd like that very much.

Sir, the press awaits.

I thought you were sticking it to the man,

-not the other way around. -Maeby.

You think he likes me that way?

No Mom, that's Herbert Love,

the man you're here to protest.

-[Love] ...the guy with the bomb snuck up from Mexico. That's why I say,

we have to build a wall.

Oh no...

How could you not recognize him?

In fairness to Lindsay,

It was Marky's face-blindness

that led him to mistake this photo

for the candidate.

Why Lindsay failed to recognize musical icon Nat King Cole

cannot be explained.

But he's so modern looking.

I didn't know it was the man whose politics I'm here to protest...

I guess I was just having fun

pretending I had my old life back.

Well, we'll just be friends,

and I'm going to keep it light and fun and not talk politics at all.

I can't believe you're such a sell-out.

Are you really gonna whore yourself out like that?

I am not a whore.

-Yeah, you're a whore. -I am not a whore.

I am still committed to my ideals

and to my Marky.

[Marky] Lindsay!

Lindsay! Lindsay!

Well, you certainly have a type.

Lindsay? Have you seen a woman named Lindsay?

If you see a woman named Lindsay,

tell her to bail me out.

-[pitches voice low] I'll do my best, sir. Thank you.

[growls] Taxi.

On the next Arrested Development: Fateful Consequences...

After the explosion,

Gob has a pivotal moment, as he realizes

he's lost his fiancée, his career, his family...

I have no one in my life who cares for me.

and his entourage.

["The Sound of Silence" plays]

[phone rings]

Great, and now my boss is on my ass.

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