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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133 * Boy, the way Glenn Miller played * 2 00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634 * Songs that made the hit parade * 3 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734 * Guys like us, we had it made * 4 00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734 * Those were the days * 5 00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,701 * And you knew where you were then * 6 00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,968 * Girls were girls, and men were men * 7 00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:26,934 * Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again * 8 00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:30,467 * Didn't need no welfare state * 9 00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,934 * Everybody pulled his weight * 10 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,534 * Gee, our old LaSalle ran great * 11 00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:44,501 * Those were the days * 12 00:00:47,801 --> 00:00:48,801 Ooh! 13 00:00:48,801 --> 00:00:50,133 I don't want a shot! 14 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,100 - I don't care! - You're not gonna do it! 15 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,901 - Yes, I am! - No, you're not! 16 00:00:53,901 --> 00:00:55,767 - Yes, I am! - No, you're not! 17 00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,934 - No, I'm not! - No, you're-- 18 00:00:57,934 --> 00:00:59,200 You're not? 19 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,367 No. 20 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:01,501 How come? 21 00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:03,367 Because I already did it. 22 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,133 It didn't hurt. 23 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,234 I didn't know it was supposed to hurt. 24 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,567 [SIGHS] 25 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,000 I'd better do it again. 26 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,567 No! 27 00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:14,934 Oh, no. He's just teasin'. 28 00:01:14,934 --> 00:01:17,133 Oh, his father was a doctor. 29 00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:21,067 He used to tease Gloria that way. Oh. 30 00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:23,000 You're just like your father. 31 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,834 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 32 00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,701 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 33 00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:27,701 Yes, I am! 34 00:01:27,701 --> 00:01:28,968 Yes. 35 00:01:30,701 --> 00:01:33,200 Yes, except he's 30 years older 36 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,701 and he has more hair. 37 00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:38,467 Mm-hmm. 38 00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:40,033 Ohhh. 39 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,601 Oh, Sidney. 40 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,667 Oh. [GIGGLES] 41 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,000 Oh, Dr. Shapiro! 42 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,734 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 43 00:01:47,734 --> 00:01:50,467 Mrs. Bunker, is there something wrong with your leg? 44 00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:51,834 Oh, no, no. 45 00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,501 - No? Hmm. - Nothin'. 46 00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:55,901 You, with the hole in the arm, 47 00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:57,534 I have to talk to your aunt, 48 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:02,033 so go tell my nurse to give you a root beer lollypop. 49 00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:04,167 I don't like root beer. 50 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,567 It's for me! 51 00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:07,934 You get a balloon. 52 00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:10,801 I usually get bubble gum. 53 00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:13,334 Too bad. 54 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,901 Go. Go, go, go. Come on, come on. 55 00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,467 I'll be there in a minute. 56 00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:19,334 Okay, Mrs. Bunker, I want you 57 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:20,501 to hop right up here-- 58 00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:21,968 Pardon me. Here you go. 59 00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:24,267 And I want to take a look at that leg. 60 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,367 Oh, it ain't nothing. It's just a bruise. 61 00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:28,634 Well, come on. You put your feet right up here 62 00:02:28,634 --> 00:02:29,767 and let me examine it. 63 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,767 I guess I bumped it against the bottom drawer 64 00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:36,334 when I was putting Archie's socks away. 65 00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:39,501 He always leaves his drawers open. 66 00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:41,868 - [GASPS] - Oh, Sidney! 67 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,634 Ow! Aw! 68 00:02:45,634 --> 00:02:47,968 Why does it hurt so much? 69 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,601 Because I don't think it's an ordinary bruise, Mrs. Bunker. 70 00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:53,267 It could be phlebitis. 71 00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:55,834 What's that? 72 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:59,501 It's a blood clot and it can travel. 73 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,067 Where? 74 00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:06,100 Well, to your lungs. 75 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,334 Hmm, that's a long trip. 76 00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:17,868 And it could be serious, 77 00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:20,501 but we're not gonna let that happen, Mrs. Bunker. 78 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,200 Oh, how? 79 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,567 Well, with medication, with warm pads 80 00:03:24,567 --> 00:03:26,534 and by staying off your feet. 81 00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:32,100 Oh, I can't stay off my feet till after St. Patrick's Day. 82 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,133 Why? 83 00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,868 Are you marching in the parade? 84 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,133 Oh. 85 00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:42,100 No! I ain't Irish. 86 00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,234 But the bar is. 87 00:03:44,234 --> 00:03:48,000 'Cause it's Kelsey's and Kelsey used to own it 88 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,534 and Kelsey is. 89 00:03:49,534 --> 00:03:52,901 So Archie's giving a St. Patrick's Day party 90 00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,534 and he wants it to be the best ever. 91 00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:57,167 So, I'm gonna do the cooking 92 00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:59,501 and we're gonna have corned beef and cabbage-- 93 00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,901 Mrs. Bunker, can you cook in bed? 94 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,567 No. The stove is in the kitchen. 95 00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:10,167 Then call a caterer. 96 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,767 Mrs. Bunker, stay off your feet. No cooking! 97 00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:15,334 - Now, listen. Put this on. - No. 98 00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:17,367 I'm gonna go talk to my nurse. I'll be right back. 99 00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:18,968 I want to give you a complete examination. 100 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,701 Oh, no, no! Doctor! 101 00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:23,234 - I'm saying I can't do that! - SIDNEY: I'll be right back! 102 00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:25,767 I ain't got time to be sick! 103 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,267 Uh! Aw! 104 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,634 Ooh! Darn! 105 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:29,767 Ooh... 106 00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:36,801 - Open the door. - Then get away from the door 107 00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:38,701 so I can open it, huh? 108 00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:40,901 Geez, the damn thing is locked. 109 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:44,367 - Hey, Edith! - Is that you, Archie? 110 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:48,734 No, it's the Easter Bunny bringing you your eggs. 111 00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:51,467 And the bunny forgot his key, 112 00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:55,701 so will you come and unlock the door, hippety-hop? 113 00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:58,133 - Take it easy. - Heavy! 114 00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,334 I'm coming! 115 00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:01,400 - Oh, hello, Harry! - HARRY: Hi, Edith! 116 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,767 - Come on in. - I'll put it on the table. 117 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,601 - Yeah. - Oh! 118 00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:09,501 Why couldn't you get somebody to deliver this? 119 00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:12,334 You're buying wholesale, you can't do that. 120 00:05:12,334 --> 00:05:13,934 You gotta do it yourself. 121 00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:15,133 You expect to save money, 122 00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,701 you also gotta expect the pain and the groan. 123 00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:20,601 What are you complaining about? 124 00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,267 I'm doing all the work. 125 00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,400 I'm doing all the thinking, ain't I? 126 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,634 Oh, what a lot of cabbage. 127 00:05:27,634 --> 00:05:29,801 Yeah, wait till you see the potatoes. 128 00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:31,567 Well, we ain't never gonna see the potatoes 129 00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:34,033 unless you go outside and carry them in. 130 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,467 Come on! 131 00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,834 Here. Here, Edith. Here's some of the corned beef. 132 00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:39,501 How much did you get? 133 00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:42,434 Oh, I got 50 pounds. 134 00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:46,200 Well, let me see, that means it's 25. 135 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,534 No, it don't! It's 50. 136 00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:50,567 I said 50. Five-"O". 137 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,234 Yeah, it starts out to be 50, five-"O," 138 00:05:53,234 --> 00:05:56,400 but it ends up 25, two-five. 139 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,234 Why? 140 00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:02,834 Because when you boil corned beef, it shrivels up. 141 00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,968 It's like when you boil a plum, 142 00:06:04,968 --> 00:06:07,400 it turns into a prune. 143 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,701 I mean, corned beef, after you boil it, it's still corned beef. 144 00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,467 It don't get fat like a prune. It's skinny. 145 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:19,801 So, 50, five-"O," pounds equals 25, two-five, pounds. 146 00:06:19,801 --> 00:06:21,300 You get it? 147 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,267 I did. I understood that. 148 00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:28,534 Good. 149 00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,534 Well, it scares me. 150 00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,234 I'm beginning to think like you. 151 00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:38,133 Oh, that ain't unusual. 152 00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,334 I read in the Reader's Digest 153 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,200 that lots of couples, after they've lived 154 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,868 together a long time, 155 00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:47,667 even start to look like each other. 156 00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,734 No. 157 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:07,334 HARRY: The potatoes! The potatoes! 158 00:07:07,334 --> 00:07:09,300 The potatoes! [GROANS] 159 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,100 Watch what you're doing here. 160 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,734 Oh, sit down, Harry. 161 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,000 - Have a beer. - Yeah! 162 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,601 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 163 00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,734 You ain't got no time to sit. 164 00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:21,234 Look at this, it's nearly noon. 165 00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,467 You gotta get down and open up the saloon. 166 00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,834 Business before pleasure, Harry! 167 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,100 Sorry, Edith. 168 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,834 A thirsty world is waiting. 169 00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:30,200 - Yeah. - I'll see you later. 170 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,534 All right. Well, thank you very much, Harry. 171 00:07:33,534 --> 00:07:37,267 Archie, you shoulda let him stay 172 00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,634 and rest and have a beer. 173 00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:41,467 I done that for you, Edith. 174 00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:43,501 I don't want you to be waiting on people. 175 00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,734 Get me a beer, will ya? 176 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:52,434 I got something to tell you, Archie. 177 00:07:52,434 --> 00:07:55,200 I hope it ain't gonna take too long. 178 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:59,400 I took Stephie to see Dr. Shapiro today. 179 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,000 Don't tell me it's anything serious. 180 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,067 No, it ain't serious. 181 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,534 Don't tell me it's anything catchin'. 182 00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,968 No, it ain't catchin'. 183 00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:12,701 Don't tell me it's anything that's gonna get in the way 184 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,634 of the St. Patty's Day party. 185 00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:21,367 Well, see, Sidney said that... 186 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,434 - I oughta-- - Sidney? 187 00:08:23,434 --> 00:08:26,234 Why didn't you take her to the real Dr. Shapiro, 188 00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:27,667 Sidney's father? 189 00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,334 He's retired. 190 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,400 No, he ain't retired. 191 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,133 Geez, he's just hiding from his patients. 192 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,234 What's the matter with the kid? 193 00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:39,067 Oh, nothin', she's fine. 194 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:42,734 She just had to have a booster shot. 195 00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:46,234 I was telling Sidney about the party-- 196 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,400 Oh, the party! 197 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,167 I wish Kelsey could see the party we're gonna give. 198 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,601 It's gonna be better than any St. Paddy's Day party that he ever threw. 199 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,300 But then, Kelsey didn't have you, see? 200 00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,501 And I got you doing it all. 201 00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:06,334 Archie, could we get a caterer to do the cooking? 202 00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:09,734 Edith, after me bragging to everybody 203 00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,734 that you're the best cabbage cook in the world? 204 00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,267 Not a chance! 205 00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:16,434 - But, Archie-- - I need you to do it, darling. 206 00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,901 This is an awful lot of work, see? 207 00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:22,167 Oh... 208 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:25,033 I know why you're backing off the work. 209 00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,601 'Cause you seen that "Gloria Steinway" woman 210 00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,033 on The Merv Griffen Show the other night, and she was sayin' 211 00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,501 women ought to stay out of the kitchen. 212 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,834 No, I didn't see that. 213 00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,767 Oh, yeah. You was in here doing the dishes. 214 00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:40,534 Well, I seen it. 215 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,334 And I remember it. 216 00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:45,968 I'm sorry I brought it up 'cause I want you to forget it. 217 00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:48,467 Now, Edith, I gotta take a nap for about an hour 218 00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,133 before I go to work, see? 219 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:53,067 Call me, will ya? And have a little lunch on the table. 220 00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:04,267 Edith! 221 00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:06,868 Hey, Edith, you better get yourself ready! 222 00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:10,167 Harry will be coming along in the van any minute to pick us up, you know? 223 00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,434 Edith? Edith? 224 00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:17,801 Oh, wow. What a magnificent sight here, Edith. 225 00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,834 There's only one thing. 226 00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:24,300 I can wish cabbage could smell a little bit nicer, you know? 227 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:29,000 I mean, for a beautiful fruit, it shouldn't smell like a drainpipe. 228 00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,200 Edith. 229 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,234 Take a look. 230 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,701 Huh? 231 00:10:37,701 --> 00:10:41,000 Does this look funny, huh? 232 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,100 Or do I just look like the Jolly Green Jerk? 233 00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:47,734 Yeah. 234 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,267 Yeah, what? 235 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,534 It's funny. 236 00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,567 Well, say so. 237 00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,334 Ha ha ha. 238 00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:57,567 Yeah. 239 00:10:57,567 --> 00:11:00,501 Yeah, well, make sure that Harry takes 240 00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:02,300 all the pots. 241 00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,734 There's 18 of them. 242 00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:06,567 And I want 'em all back 243 00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,868 'cause some of 'em belong to the neighbors. 244 00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:12,133 Well, you can tell Harry that yourself. 245 00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,067 We're all going down there together. 246 00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,400 Me and Harry and you and the pots. 247 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,934 Oh, no, Archie. I ain't going. 248 00:11:19,934 --> 00:11:23,968 I--I gotta stay off my feet. 249 00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:25,701 Off your feet, Edith? 250 00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:28,300 No! You better get up on your feet, darlin', 251 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,767 and get yourself dressed! 252 00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:32,300 Come on! We're gonna be late for the part-- 253 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,434 Oh, come on! Edith! Edith! 254 00:11:35,434 --> 00:11:37,968 We gotta get down to the party! The party's just started. 255 00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:39,801 - I want to st-- - Edith, come on, will ya? 256 00:11:39,801 --> 00:11:41,634 The work's all done! 257 00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,234 All you gotta do now is serve the "fooze." 258 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,200 But I'm tired... 259 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,234 Oh, come on! 260 00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:50,334 You'll feel a lot better 261 00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,234 once you get down there, sweetheart. 262 00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:53,968 Get yourself dressed, huh? 263 00:11:53,968 --> 00:11:57,300 ARCHIE: * Oh, me name is MacNamara * 264 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,901 * I'm the leader of the band * 265 00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:01,501 * Although we're few in number * 266 00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,667 * We're the finest in the land * 267 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:07,300 * We play at wakes and weddings * 268 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,601 * And at every fancy ball * 269 00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:12,033 * And when we play at funerals * 270 00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:14,934 * We play the March From Saul * 271 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,834 * Ta dah, dah, dah * 272 00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:22,601 [GROANING] 273 00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:32,000 Ow! 274 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,701 [COUGHS] 275 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,901 Archie! 276 00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:43,200 Archie! 277 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,434 What? 278 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,167 What? 279 00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:51,634 Edith, what are you doing there, huh? 280 00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:53,167 What's wrong? 281 00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,734 Call Dr. Shapiro. 282 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,000 What's the matter, sweetheart? 283 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,534 Call him. He knows all about it. 284 00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:02,601 Yeah, well, all right. 285 00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:04,467 But what do I tell him ails ya? 286 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,601 Tell him I can't walk. 287 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,400 Harry, I can't do it. Call up the kid. 288 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,701 Bring him in to help. 289 00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:28,501 What do you mean he won't work St. Patrick's Day? 290 00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:30,667 The Puerto Ricans don't give a cucaracha 291 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,200 about St. Patrick. 292 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,334 Well, I can't help that. You better try. 293 00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,300 I can't come in. Yeah, good-bye, Harry. 294 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,067 Good-bye, good-bye! 295 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,100 Well, there ain't no use in sittin' here worryin', kiddo. 296 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,701 You better go up to your bed. 297 00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:03,968 Is Aunt Edith real sick? 298 00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:08,400 No, I don't think so. 299 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:14,067 She's--she's probably what they call "benumbed," you know? 300 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,567 From inhaling cabbage for two days. 301 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,601 The smell of cabbage can't make a person not walk. 302 00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:26,033 I wouldn't be too sure about that. 303 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,067 You know, the nose, that's a very powerful thing there. 304 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:32,234 I remember once I was changing one of Joey's diapers... 305 00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:33,567 Oh. 306 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,701 I lost my balance. I had to sit down a minute. 307 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,467 - Mr. Bunker. - Oh! Yeah, yeah. 308 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,434 I put a moist pack on her leg. 309 00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:48,133 I want you to make sure she keeps it there. 310 00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,434 Yeah, I can do that, sure. 311 00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,901 How's Aunt Edith? 312 00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,200 She's tired like you. 313 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,167 Go upstairs, give her a goodnight kiss. 314 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,167 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here. Here. 315 00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:59,934 I forgot to give her this. 316 00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,267 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 317 00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:03,601 Here! I have something for you! 318 00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,334 I don't feel like a lollipop. 319 00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:07,934 No, no. This time, bubblegum. 320 00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:10,033 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 321 00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,033 [SIGHS] 322 00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:16,434 So, on the level, how is she? 323 00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:18,334 I think she should be in a hospital. 324 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,200 Gee, see? That's the difference between you and your old man. 325 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,968 You think, he always knew. 326 00:15:23,968 --> 00:15:25,400 Where is he? 327 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,067 He's retired. 328 00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:28,367 He can't be retired! 329 00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:30,133 He ain't got no business being retired 330 00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:32,534 while any of his patients is still alive. 331 00:15:32,534 --> 00:15:34,767 Get him on the horn, Sid. 332 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,968 I'm Dr. Shapiro! 333 00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:39,167 He's the only Dr. Shapiro! 334 00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:42,267 You ain't anything like your father! 335 00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,200 Mr. Bunker... 336 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,501 I have known you since I was six years old. 337 00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,801 Oh, yeah, I know. And I didn't like you then. 338 00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,767 And I don't like you now. 339 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,701 What about Edith? 340 00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,601 Her, I like. 341 00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:59,434 I mean, is she gonna be all right? 342 00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:01,868 Oh, now you're concerned. 343 00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,067 After you practically killed her! 344 00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:07,100 What? What did I do? 345 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,701 What did you do? 346 00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,267 What did I do? 347 00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,267 What did you do? 348 00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:14,667 You were a little like your father then. 349 00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,834 Come on, Mr. Bunker. 350 00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:19,033 From the smell in this house, 351 00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,200 it's obvious what you've been doing. 352 00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,467 What are you talking about? 353 00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:35,434 I mean, that might cause a person to leave a room 354 00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:37,234 or open up a window. 355 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,400 But that ain't gonna paralyze a woman. 356 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,167 I'm talking about cabbage. 357 00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:07,133 It can't be the cabbage! 358 00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,701 I ain't had none of that yet! 359 00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,734 Mrs. Bunker told me you've had her on her feet 360 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,133 for two days cooking! 361 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,601 Yeah! 362 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,601 That's what I'm talking about! 363 00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,067 I told her not to cook! 364 00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:23,400 Well, what the hell kind of medical advice is that? 365 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,667 What's she got that she can't cook? 366 00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:30,801 She didn't tell you. 367 00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,400 No! 368 00:17:33,534 --> 00:17:34,634 Phlebitis. 369 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,601 I told her that if she doesn't stay off her feet 370 00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,334 it could kill her. 371 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,901 Phlebitis? 372 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:47,834 Ain't that what the Democrats give Nixon? 373 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,801 She'll be okay. 374 00:17:52,801 --> 00:17:54,200 She has her medication. 375 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,801 If she just takes it easy, it will resolve itself. 376 00:17:56,801 --> 00:18:00,501 Mr. Bunker, I thought she told you. 377 00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:02,400 You're gonna throw up? 378 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,801 No, no, no. 379 00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:04,868 I'll be okay. 380 00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:06,901 I thought you knew about this. 381 00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:09,634 No, I didn't know nothin'. 382 00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:12,534 Please forgive me. I never would've yelled at you. 383 00:18:12,534 --> 00:18:14,133 I thought it was your fault. 384 00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:16,334 Well, it's okay. Take it easy, Sid-- 385 00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:17,701 Forget it, forget it, forget it. 386 00:18:17,701 --> 00:18:19,868 Please, forgive me, Mr. Bunker. Please. 387 00:18:19,868 --> 00:18:22,200 Yeah. It's all right. It's all right, Sidney. 388 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,000 You're a good boy, you know? 389 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,968 Please don't tell my father. 390 00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:28,968 Oh, I won't say nothin' about it. 391 00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:32,734 Just don't play ball on my stoop no more. 392 00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:35,200 That wasn't me. 393 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,734 Oh, I'm so sorry. 394 00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:38,734 Oh, I'm sorry! 395 00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,400 I'm sorry! 396 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,901 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 397 00:18:42,901 --> 00:18:44,834 I'm so sorry. 398 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,734 Oh, I'm sorry! 399 00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:00,367 You got a fever? 400 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:15,300 Well, Edith, I--I gotta tell you, 401 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,200 I'm very disappointed in you. 402 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,334 I'm really very disappointed in you. 403 00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,734 I know. 404 00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,534 I'm sorry you're missing your party. 405 00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:28,100 Oh, the hell with the party! 406 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,000 I mean, I'm disappointed in you! 407 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,400 Why? 408 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,834 I done all the cookin'. 409 00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:37,667 And I had it all ready for Harry when he come. 410 00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,467 I'm not talking about-- 411 00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:41,901 You don't think much of me. 412 00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:44,300 - I do! - No, you don't. 413 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,667 I--I do! 414 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,400 Don't I always bring your beer when you want it? 415 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,634 Oh, geez, but that don't prove nothin'. 416 00:19:51,634 --> 00:19:54,667 And don't I always have dinner hot for you 417 00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,167 when you come home? 418 00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,501 That don't prove nothin' either. 419 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:01,701 Well, I wash your clothes and I iron them 420 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,734 and I put them in the right drawers. 421 00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:07,434 I could hire a Sybil Gooley to do them things! 422 00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:10,667 Sybil Gooley would never do them things for you. 423 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,934 Why the hell not? 424 00:20:11,934 --> 00:20:14,334 'Cause she don't like you. 425 00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,267 Oh, yeah. 426 00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:23,934 Archie, I love you. 427 00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:27,567 That's why I do them things for you. 428 00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:39,067 Why didn't you tell me you were sick? 429 00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:44,267 I tried to. 430 00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:47,501 But I didn't want to spoil your party. 431 00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,968 The party! I don't want to hear nothin' more about the party! 432 00:20:49,968 --> 00:20:51,534 To hell with the party! 433 00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:52,868 Geez. 434 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,534 You was too busy being Mrs. Nice Guy. 435 00:20:57,534 --> 00:20:59,033 Your shoes. 436 00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,167 Well, it's cold up here! 437 00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:06,000 You was being selfish, Edith. 438 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,601 Selfish? 439 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:11,467 That's right. S-E-double L-fish. 440 00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:16,200 I guess you wanted me to go on alone 441 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,567 tryin' to raise that little girl 442 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,100 who already lost one mother. 443 00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,000 - No! - Oh, geez, Edith. 444 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,367 You're always being too good, good, good. 445 00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:30,400 I'm gonna tell you. I'm tired of suffering from that. 446 00:21:33,601 --> 00:21:36,400 From now on... 447 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,000 like they say in the old song, 448 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,634 "there's gonna be some changes made." 449 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,367 And, please, don't sing it for me, huh? 450 00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,200 I mean to say is... 451 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,200 if anything goes wrong with you, 452 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,400 you gotta tell me. 453 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,701 So's I can take care of ya! 454 00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:58,834 I told Harry I can't go to work 455 00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,234 until the doctor says that you're okay. 456 00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:02,801 I'm gonna wait on you. 457 00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:07,300 Oh, Archie! 458 00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,834 Careful with your hand there, huh, Edith? 459 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:14,200 I--I know we're in--in--in bed, 460 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,400 but you're too sick for them kind of moves. 461 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,934 Oh, Archie! 462 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,567 Oh, Edith. 463 00:22:25,367 --> 00:22:27,067 You know something? 464 00:22:28,868 --> 00:22:32,467 If the whole damn world was to go to the dogs, 465 00:22:33,767 --> 00:22:37,701 as long as I had you standing by my side, you know, 466 00:22:37,701 --> 00:22:40,767 or sitting by my side, 467 00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:45,701 or laying here like this by my side, 468 00:22:45,701 --> 00:22:50,167 everything'll be... just okay. 469 00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:53,200 [SIGHS] 470 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,634 I've been blowing my own horn... 471 00:22:57,434 --> 00:23:00,901 for a lot of years. 472 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,834 I'm gonna tell you something-- 473 00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:09,601 I ain't nothing without you. 474 00:23:35,234 --> 00:23:38,000 You know something, Archie? 475 00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:42,300 You're a pip. 476 00:23:43,501 --> 00:23:46,167 A real pip. 477 00:24:21,868 --> 00:24:23,367 [***] 478 00:24:38,033 --> 00:24:40,501 All in the Family was played to a studio audience 479 00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:42,434 for live responses. 480 00:24:42,484 --> 00:24:47,034 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33276

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