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1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133
* Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played *
2
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634
* Songs that made
the hit parade *
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734
* Guys like us,
we had it made *
4
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734
* Those were the days *
5
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,701
* And you knew
where you were then *
6
00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,968
* Girls were girls,
and men were men *
7
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:26,934
* Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again *
8
00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:30,467
* Didn't need
no welfare state *
9
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,934
* Everybody
pulled his weight *
10
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,534
* Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great *
11
00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:44,501
* Those were the days *
12
00:00:47,801 --> 00:00:48,801
Ooh!
13
00:00:48,801 --> 00:00:50,133
I don't want a shot!
14
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,100
- I don't care!
- You're not gonna do it!
15
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,901
- Yes, I am!
- No, you're not!
16
00:00:53,901 --> 00:00:55,767
- Yes, I am!
- No, you're not!
17
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,934
- No, I'm not!
- No, you're--
18
00:00:57,934 --> 00:00:59,200
You're not?
19
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,367
No.
20
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:01,501
How come?
21
00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:03,367
Because
I already did it.
22
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,133
It didn't hurt.
23
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:07,234
I didn't know it was
supposed to hurt.
24
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,567
[SIGHS]
25
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,000
I'd better
do it again.
26
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,567
No!
27
00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:14,934
Oh, no.
He's just teasin'.
28
00:01:14,934 --> 00:01:17,133
Oh, his father
was a doctor.
29
00:01:17,133 --> 00:01:21,067
He used to tease
Gloria that way. Oh.
30
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:23,000
You're just
like your father.
31
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,834
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
32
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,701
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
33
00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:27,701
Yes, I am!
34
00:01:27,701 --> 00:01:28,968
Yes.
35
00:01:30,701 --> 00:01:33,200
Yes, except he's
30 years older
36
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,701
and he has more hair.
37
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:38,467
Mm-hmm.
38
00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:40,033
Ohhh.
39
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,601
Oh, Sidney.
40
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,667
Oh.
[GIGGLES]
41
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,000
Oh, Dr. Shapiro!
42
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,734
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
43
00:01:47,734 --> 00:01:50,467
Mrs. Bunker,
is there something wrong with your leg?
44
00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:51,834
Oh, no, no.
45
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,501
- No? Hmm.
- Nothin'.
46
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:55,901
You, with the hole
in the arm,
47
00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:57,534
I have to talk
to your aunt,
48
00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:02,033
so go tell
my nurse to give you a root beer lollypop.
49
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:04,167
I don't like root beer.
50
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:06,567
It's for me!
51
00:02:06,567 --> 00:02:07,934
You get a balloon.
52
00:02:07,934 --> 00:02:10,801
I usually get bubble gum.
53
00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:13,334
Too bad.
54
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,901
Go. Go, go, go.
Come on, come on.
55
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,467
I'll be there
in a minute.
56
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:19,334
Okay, Mrs. Bunker,
I want you
57
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:20,501
to hop right up here--
58
00:02:20,501 --> 00:02:21,968
Pardon me.
Here you go.
59
00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:24,267
And I want to take
a look at that leg.
60
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,367
Oh, it ain't nothing.
It's just a bruise.
61
00:02:26,367 --> 00:02:28,634
Well, come on.
You put your feet right up here
62
00:02:28,634 --> 00:02:29,767
and let me examine it.
63
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,767
I guess I bumped it
against the bottom drawer
64
00:02:32,767 --> 00:02:36,334
when I was putting
Archie's socks away.
65
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:39,501
He always leaves
his drawers open.
66
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:41,868
- [GASPS]
- Oh, Sidney!
67
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,634
Ow! Aw!
68
00:02:45,634 --> 00:02:47,968
Why does it hurt so much?
69
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:51,601
Because I don't think
it's an ordinary bruise, Mrs. Bunker.
70
00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:53,267
It could be phlebitis.
71
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:55,834
What's that?
72
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:59,501
It's a blood clot
and it can travel.
73
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,067
Where?
74
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:06,100
Well, to your lungs.
75
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,334
Hmm, that's a long trip.
76
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:17,868
And it could be serious,
77
00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:20,501
but we're not gonna let
that happen, Mrs. Bunker.
78
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,200
Oh, how?
79
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,567
Well, with medication,
with warm pads
80
00:03:24,567 --> 00:03:26,534
and by staying
off your feet.
81
00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:32,100
Oh, I can't stay off my feet
till after St. Patrick's Day.
82
00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,133
Why?
83
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,868
Are you marching
in the parade?
84
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,133
Oh.
85
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:42,100
No! I ain't Irish.
86
00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,234
But the bar is.
87
00:03:44,234 --> 00:03:48,000
'Cause it's Kelsey's
and Kelsey used to own it
88
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,534
and Kelsey is.
89
00:03:49,534 --> 00:03:52,901
So Archie's giving
a St. Patrick's Day party
90
00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:55,534
and he wants it to be
the best ever.
91
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:57,167
So, I'm gonna do the cooking
92
00:03:57,167 --> 00:03:59,501
and we're gonna have
corned beef and cabbage--
93
00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:01,901
Mrs. Bunker,
can you cook in bed?
94
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,567
No. The stove
is in the kitchen.
95
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:10,167
Then call a caterer.
96
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:13,767
Mrs. Bunker,
stay off your feet. No cooking!
97
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:15,334
- Now, listen.
Put this on. - No.
98
00:04:15,334 --> 00:04:17,367
I'm gonna go
talk to my nurse. I'll be right back.
99
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:18,968
I want to give you
a complete examination.
100
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,701
Oh, no, no!
Doctor!
101
00:04:20,701 --> 00:04:23,234
- I'm saying I can't do that!
- SIDNEY: I'll be right back!
102
00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:25,767
I ain't got time
to be sick!
103
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,267
Uh! Aw!
104
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,634
Ooh! Darn!
105
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:29,767
Ooh...
106
00:04:34,601 --> 00:04:36,801
- Open the door.
- Then get away from the door
107
00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:38,701
so I can open it, huh?
108
00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:40,901
Geez, the damn
thing is locked.
109
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:44,367
- Hey, Edith!
- Is that you, Archie?
110
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:48,734
No, it's the Easter Bunny
bringing you your eggs.
111
00:04:48,734 --> 00:04:51,467
And the bunny forgot his key,
112
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:55,701
so will you come
and unlock the door, hippety-hop?
113
00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:58,133
- Take it easy.
- Heavy!
114
00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,334
I'm coming!
115
00:04:59,334 --> 00:05:01,400
- Oh, hello, Harry!
- HARRY: Hi, Edith!
116
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,767
- Come on in.
- I'll put it on the table.
117
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,601
- Yeah.
- Oh!
118
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:09,501
Why couldn't you get
somebody to deliver this?
119
00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:12,334
You're buying wholesale,
you can't do that.
120
00:05:12,334 --> 00:05:13,934
You gotta do it yourself.
121
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:15,133
You expect to save money,
122
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,701
you also gotta expect
the pain and the groan.
123
00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:20,601
What are you
complaining about?
124
00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,267
I'm doing all the work.
125
00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,400
I'm doing
all the thinking, ain't I?
126
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,634
Oh, what a lot
of cabbage.
127
00:05:27,634 --> 00:05:29,801
Yeah, wait till you see
the potatoes.
128
00:05:29,801 --> 00:05:31,567
Well, we ain't never
gonna see the potatoes
129
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:34,033
unless you go outside
and carry them in.
130
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,467
Come on!
131
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,834
Here. Here, Edith.
Here's some of the corned beef.
132
00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:39,501
How much did you get?
133
00:05:39,501 --> 00:05:42,434
Oh, I got 50 pounds.
134
00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:46,200
Well, let me see,
that means it's 25.
135
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,534
No, it don't!
It's 50.
136
00:05:48,534 --> 00:05:50,567
I said 50. Five-"O".
137
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:53,234
Yeah, it starts out
to be 50, five-"O,"
138
00:05:53,234 --> 00:05:56,400
but it ends up 25,
two-five.
139
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,234
Why?
140
00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:02,834
Because when you
boil corned beef, it shrivels up.
141
00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,968
It's like
when you boil a plum,
142
00:06:04,968 --> 00:06:07,400
it turns into a prune.
143
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,701
I mean, corned beef,
after you boil it, it's still corned beef.
144
00:06:10,701 --> 00:06:14,467
It don't get fat like a prune.
It's skinny.
145
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:19,801
So, 50, five-"O," pounds
equals 25, two-five, pounds.
146
00:06:19,801 --> 00:06:21,300
You get it?
147
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,267
I did.
I understood that.
148
00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:28,534
Good.
149
00:06:28,534 --> 00:06:31,534
Well, it scares me.
150
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,234
I'm beginning
to think like you.
151
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:38,133
Oh, that ain't unusual.
152
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,334
I read in
the Reader's Digest
153
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,200
that lots of couples,
after they've lived
154
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,868
together a long time,
155
00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:47,667
even start to look
like each other.
156
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,734
No.
157
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:07,334
HARRY: The potatoes!
The potatoes!
158
00:07:07,334 --> 00:07:09,300
The potatoes!
[GROANS]
159
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:12,100
Watch what
you're doing here.
160
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,734
Oh, sit down, Harry.
161
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,000
- Have a beer.
- Yeah!
162
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,601
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
163
00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:19,734
You ain't got
no time to sit.
164
00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:21,234
Look at this,
it's nearly noon.
165
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,467
You gotta get down
and open up the saloon.
166
00:07:23,467 --> 00:07:25,834
Business
before pleasure, Harry!
167
00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,100
Sorry, Edith.
168
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,834
A thirsty
world is waiting.
169
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:30,200
- Yeah.
- I'll see you later.
170
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,534
All right.
Well, thank you very much, Harry.
171
00:07:33,534 --> 00:07:37,267
Archie,
you shoulda let him stay
172
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,634
and rest and have a beer.
173
00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:41,467
I done that for you, Edith.
174
00:07:41,467 --> 00:07:43,501
I don't want you
to be waiting on people.
175
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,734
Get me a beer, will ya?
176
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:52,434
I got something
to tell you, Archie.
177
00:07:52,434 --> 00:07:55,200
I hope it ain't
gonna take too long.
178
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:59,400
I took Stephie to see
Dr. Shapiro today.
179
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:02,000
Don't tell me
it's anything serious.
180
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,067
No, it ain't serious.
181
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:07,534
Don't tell me
it's anything catchin'.
182
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,968
No, it ain't catchin'.
183
00:08:09,968 --> 00:08:12,701
Don't tell me it's anything
that's gonna get in the way
184
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,634
of the St. Patty's Day party.
185
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:21,367
Well, see,
Sidney said that...
186
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,434
- I oughta--
- Sidney?
187
00:08:23,434 --> 00:08:26,234
Why didn't you take her
to the real Dr. Shapiro,
188
00:08:26,234 --> 00:08:27,667
Sidney's father?
189
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,334
He's retired.
190
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:31,400
No, he ain't retired.
191
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,133
Geez, he's just hiding
from his patients.
192
00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:37,234
What's the matter
with the kid?
193
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:39,067
Oh, nothin', she's fine.
194
00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:42,734
She just had to have
a booster shot.
195
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:46,234
I was telling Sidney
about the party--
196
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,400
Oh, the party!
197
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,167
I wish Kelsey could see
the party we're gonna give.
198
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:54,601
It's gonna be better
than any St. Paddy's Day party that he ever threw.
199
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,300
But then, Kelsey
didn't have you, see?
200
00:08:57,300 --> 00:09:00,501
And I got you
doing it all.
201
00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:06,334
Archie, could we get
a caterer to do the cooking?
202
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:09,734
Edith, after me
bragging to everybody
203
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,734
that you're the best
cabbage cook in the world?
204
00:09:11,734 --> 00:09:13,267
Not a chance!
205
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:16,434
- But, Archie--
- I need you to do it, darling.
206
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,901
This is an awful
lot of work, see?
207
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:22,167
Oh...
208
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:25,033
I know why you're
backing off the work.
209
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:26,601
'Cause you seen that
"Gloria Steinway" woman
210
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:29,033
on The Merv Griffen Show
the other night, and she was sayin'
211
00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:31,501
women ought to stay
out of the kitchen.
212
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,834
No, I didn't see that.
213
00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:38,767
Oh, yeah. You was
in here doing the dishes.
214
00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:40,534
Well, I seen it.
215
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,334
And I remember it.
216
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:45,968
I'm sorry I brought it up
'cause I want you to forget it.
217
00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:48,467
Now, Edith, I gotta
take a nap for about an hour
218
00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,133
before I go to work, see?
219
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:53,067
Call me, will ya?
And have a little lunch on the table.
220
00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:04,267
Edith!
221
00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:06,868
Hey, Edith, you better
get yourself ready!
222
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:10,167
Harry will be coming along
in the van any minute to pick us up, you know?
223
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,434
Edith? Edith?
224
00:10:12,434 --> 00:10:17,801
Oh, wow.
What a magnificent sight here, Edith.
225
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,834
There's only one thing.
226
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:24,300
I can wish cabbage could smell
a little bit nicer, you know?
227
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:29,000
I mean, for a beautiful fruit,
it shouldn't smell like a drainpipe.
228
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:32,200
Edith.
229
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,234
Take a look.
230
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,701
Huh?
231
00:10:37,701 --> 00:10:41,000
Does this look
funny, huh?
232
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,100
Or do I just look
like the Jolly Green Jerk?
233
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:47,734
Yeah.
234
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,267
Yeah, what?
235
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,534
It's funny.
236
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,567
Well, say so.
237
00:10:54,567 --> 00:10:56,334
Ha ha ha.
238
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:57,567
Yeah.
239
00:10:57,567 --> 00:11:00,501
Yeah, well, make sure
that Harry takes
240
00:11:00,501 --> 00:11:02,300
all the pots.
241
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:04,734
There's 18 of them.
242
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:06,567
And I want 'em all back
243
00:11:06,567 --> 00:11:09,868
'cause some of 'em
belong to the neighbors.
244
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:12,133
Well, you can
tell Harry that yourself.
245
00:11:12,133 --> 00:11:14,067
We're all going down
there together.
246
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,400
Me and Harry
and you and the pots.
247
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,934
Oh, no, Archie.
I ain't going.
248
00:11:19,934 --> 00:11:23,968
I--I gotta stay
off my feet.
249
00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:25,701
Off your feet, Edith?
250
00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:28,300
No! You better get up
on your feet, darlin',
251
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,767
and get yourself dressed!
252
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:32,300
Come on! We're gonna
be late for the part--
253
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,434
Oh, come on!
Edith! Edith!
254
00:11:35,434 --> 00:11:37,968
We gotta get down to the party!
The party's just started.
255
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:39,801
- I want to st--
- Edith, come on, will ya?
256
00:11:39,801 --> 00:11:41,634
The work's all done!
257
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:44,234
All you gotta do now
is serve the "fooze."
258
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,200
But I'm tired...
259
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,234
Oh, come on!
260
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:50,334
You'll feel a lot better
261
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,234
once you get
down there, sweetheart.
262
00:11:52,234 --> 00:11:53,968
Get yourself dressed, huh?
263
00:11:53,968 --> 00:11:57,300
ARCHIE:
* Oh, me nameis MacNamara *
264
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,901
* I'm the leaderof the band *
265
00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:01,501
* Althoughwe're few in number *
266
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,667
* We're the finestin the land *
267
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:07,300
* We play at wakesand weddings *
268
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,601
* And at every fancy ball *
269
00:12:09,601 --> 00:12:12,033
* And when we playat funerals *
270
00:12:12,033 --> 00:12:14,934
* We playthe March From Saul *
271
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,834
* Ta dah, dah, dah *
272
00:12:20,534 --> 00:12:22,601
[GROANING]
273
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:32,000
Ow!
274
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,701
[COUGHS]
275
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,901
Archie!
276
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:43,200
Archie!
277
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,434
What?
278
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,167
What?
279
00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:51,634
Edith, what are you
doing there, huh?
280
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:53,167
What's wrong?
281
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,734
Call Dr. Shapiro.
282
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,000
What's the matter,
sweetheart?
283
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,534
Call him.
He knows all about it.
284
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:02,601
Yeah, well, all right.
285
00:13:02,601 --> 00:13:04,467
But what do I tell him
ails ya?
286
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,601
Tell him I can't walk.
287
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,400
Harry, I can't do it.
Call up the kid.
288
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,701
Bring him in to help.
289
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:28,501
What do you mean he won't
work St. Patrick's Day?
290
00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:30,667
The Puerto Ricans
don't give a cucaracha
291
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,200
about St. Patrick.
292
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,334
Well, I can't help that.
You better try.
293
00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,300
I can't come in.
Yeah, good-bye, Harry.
294
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:39,067
Good-bye, good-bye!
295
00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,100
Well, there ain't no use
in sittin' here worryin', kiddo.
296
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,701
You better go up to your bed.
297
00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:03,968
Is Aunt Edith real sick?
298
00:14:05,701 --> 00:14:08,400
No, I don't think so.
299
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:14,067
She's--she's
probably what they call "benumbed," you know?
300
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,567
From inhaling
cabbage for two days.
301
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,601
The smell of cabbage
can't make a person not walk.
302
00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:26,033
I wouldn't be
too sure about that.
303
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:29,067
You know, the nose, that's
a very powerful thing there.
304
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:32,234
I remember once
I was changing one of Joey's diapers...
305
00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:33,567
Oh.
306
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,701
I lost my balance.
I had to sit down a minute.
307
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,467
- Mr. Bunker.
- Oh! Yeah, yeah.
308
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,434
I put a moist pack
on her leg.
309
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:48,133
I want you to make sure
she keeps it there.
310
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:49,434
Yeah,
I can do that, sure.
311
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,901
How's Aunt Edith?
312
00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,200
She's tired like you.
313
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,167
Go upstairs, give her
a goodnight kiss.
314
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,167
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Here. Here.
315
00:14:58,167 --> 00:14:59,934
I forgot to give
her this.
316
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,267
Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
317
00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:03,601
Here! I have
something for you!
318
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,334
I don't feel
like a lollipop.
319
00:15:05,334 --> 00:15:07,934
No, no. This time,
bubblegum.
320
00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:10,033
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
321
00:15:13,033 --> 00:15:14,033
[SIGHS]
322
00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:16,434
So, on the level,
how is she?
323
00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:18,334
I think she should be
in a hospital.
324
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,200
Gee, see?
That's the difference between you and your old man.
325
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,968
You think,
he always knew.
326
00:15:23,968 --> 00:15:25,400
Where is he?
327
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,067
He's retired.
328
00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:28,367
He can't be retired!
329
00:15:28,367 --> 00:15:30,133
He ain't got
no business being retired
330
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:32,534
while any of his patients
is still alive.
331
00:15:32,534 --> 00:15:34,767
Get him on the horn, Sid.
332
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,968
I'm Dr. Shapiro!
333
00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:39,167
He's the only
Dr. Shapiro!
334
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:42,267
You ain't anything
like your father!
335
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,200
Mr. Bunker...
336
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,501
I have known you
since I was six years old.
337
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,801
Oh, yeah, I know.
And I didn't like you then.
338
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,767
And I don't
like you now.
339
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,701
What about Edith?
340
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,601
Her, I like.
341
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:59,434
I mean, is she
gonna be all right?
342
00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:01,868
Oh, now you're
concerned.
343
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,067
After you practically
killed her!
344
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:07,100
What? What did I do?
345
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,701
What did you do?
346
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,267
What did I do?
347
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,267
What did you do?
348
00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:14,667
You were a little
like your father then.
349
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,834
Come on, Mr. Bunker.
350
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:19,033
From the smell
in this house,
351
00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,200
it's obvious
what you've been doing.
352
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:30,467
What are you
talking about?
353
00:16:31,968 --> 00:16:35,434
I mean, that might cause
a person to leave a room
354
00:16:35,434 --> 00:16:37,234
or open up a window.
355
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,400
But that ain't
gonna paralyze a woman.
356
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,167
I'm talking about cabbage.
357
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:07,133
It can't be the cabbage!
358
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,701
I ain't had
none of that yet!
359
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:14,734
Mrs. Bunker told me
you've had her on her feet
360
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,133
for two days cooking!
361
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,601
Yeah!
362
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,601
That's what I'm
talking about!
363
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,067
I told her
not to cook!
364
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:23,400
Well, what the hell kind
of medical advice is that?
365
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,667
What's she got
that she can't cook?
366
00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:30,801
She didn't tell you.
367
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,400
No!
368
00:17:33,534 --> 00:17:34,634
Phlebitis.
369
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,601
I told her that if
she doesn't stay off her feet
370
00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,334
it could kill her.
371
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,901
Phlebitis?
372
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:47,834
Ain't that what
the Democrats give Nixon?
373
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,801
She'll be okay.
374
00:17:52,801 --> 00:17:54,200
She has her medication.
375
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,801
If she just takes it easy,
it will resolve itself.
376
00:17:56,801 --> 00:18:00,501
Mr. Bunker,
I thought she told you.
377
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:02,400
You're gonna throw up?
378
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,801
No, no, no.
379
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:04,868
I'll be okay.
380
00:18:04,868 --> 00:18:06,901
I thought
you knew about this.
381
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:09,634
No, I didn't know nothin'.
382
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:12,534
Please forgive me.
I never would've yelled at you.
383
00:18:12,534 --> 00:18:14,133
I thought it was your fault.
384
00:18:14,133 --> 00:18:16,334
Well, it's okay.
Take it easy, Sid--
385
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:17,701
Forget it,
forget it, forget it.
386
00:18:17,701 --> 00:18:19,868
Please, forgive me,
Mr. Bunker. Please.
387
00:18:19,868 --> 00:18:22,200
Yeah. It's all right.
It's all right, Sidney.
388
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,000
You're a good boy,
you know?
389
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,968
Please don't tell
my father.
390
00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:28,968
Oh, I won't say
nothin' about it.
391
00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:32,734
Just don't play ball
on my stoop no more.
392
00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:35,200
That wasn't me.
393
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,734
Oh, I'm so sorry.
394
00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:38,734
Oh, I'm sorry!
395
00:18:38,734 --> 00:18:40,400
I'm sorry!
396
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,901
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
397
00:18:42,901 --> 00:18:44,834
I'm so sorry.
398
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,734
Oh, I'm sorry!
399
00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:00,367
You got a fever?
400
00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:15,300
Well, Edith,
I--I gotta tell you,
401
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,200
I'm very
disappointed in you.
402
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,334
I'm really
very disappointed in you.
403
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,734
I know.
404
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,534
I'm sorry you're
missing your party.
405
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:28,100
Oh, the hell
with the party!
406
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,000
I mean,
I'm disappointed in you!
407
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,400
Why?
408
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,834
I done
all the cookin'.
409
00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:37,667
And I had it all ready
for Harry when he come.
410
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,467
I'm not talking about--
411
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:41,901
You don't think much of me.
412
00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:44,300
- I do!
- No, you don't.
413
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,667
I--I do!
414
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,400
Don't I always
bring your beer when you want it?
415
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,634
Oh, geez, but that
don't prove nothin'.
416
00:19:51,634 --> 00:19:54,667
And don't I always
have dinner hot for you
417
00:19:54,667 --> 00:19:56,167
when you come home?
418
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:58,501
That don't prove
nothin' either.
419
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:01,701
Well, I wash your clothes
and I iron them
420
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,734
and I put them
in the right drawers.
421
00:20:03,734 --> 00:20:07,434
I could hire a Sybil Gooley
to do them things!
422
00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:10,667
Sybil Gooley would never
do them things for you.
423
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,934
Why the hell not?
424
00:20:11,934 --> 00:20:14,334
'Cause she
don't like you.
425
00:20:14,334 --> 00:20:16,267
Oh, yeah.
426
00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:23,934
Archie, I love you.
427
00:20:23,934 --> 00:20:27,567
That's why I do
them things for you.
428
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:39,067
Why didn't you tell me
you were sick?
429
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:44,267
I tried to.
430
00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:47,501
But I didn't want
to spoil your party.
431
00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,968
The party! I don't want to hear
nothin' more about the party!
432
00:20:49,968 --> 00:20:51,534
To hell with the party!
433
00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:52,868
Geez.
434
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,534
You was too busy
being Mrs. Nice Guy.
435
00:20:57,534 --> 00:20:59,033
Your shoes.
436
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,167
Well, it's cold up here!
437
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:06,000
You was being
selfish, Edith.
438
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,601
Selfish?
439
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:11,467
That's right.
S-E-double L-fish.
440
00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:16,200
I guess you wanted me
to go on alone
441
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,567
tryin' to raise
that little girl
442
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,100
who already lost
one mother.
443
00:21:19,100 --> 00:21:22,000
- No!
- Oh, geez, Edith.
444
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,367
You're always being
too good, good, good.
445
00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:30,400
I'm gonna tell you.
I'm tired of suffering from that.
446
00:21:33,601 --> 00:21:36,400
From now on...
447
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,000
like they say
in the old song,
448
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,634
"there's gonna
be some changes made."
449
00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:42,367
And, please,
don't sing it for me, huh?
450
00:21:44,033 --> 00:21:46,200
I mean to say is...
451
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,200
if anything
goes wrong with you,
452
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,400
you gotta tell me.
453
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,701
So's I can
take care of ya!
454
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:58,834
I told Harry
I can't go to work
455
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,234
until the doctor
says that you're okay.
456
00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:02,801
I'm gonna wait on you.
457
00:22:04,734 --> 00:22:07,300
Oh, Archie!
458
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,834
Careful with
your hand there, huh, Edith?
459
00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:14,200
I--I know we're
in--in--in bed,
460
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,400
but you're too sick
for them kind of moves.
461
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,934
Oh, Archie!
462
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,567
Oh, Edith.
463
00:22:25,367 --> 00:22:27,067
You know something?
464
00:22:28,868 --> 00:22:32,467
If the whole damn world
was to go to the dogs,
465
00:22:33,767 --> 00:22:37,701
as long as I had you
standing by my side, you know,
466
00:22:37,701 --> 00:22:40,767
or sitting by my side,
467
00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:45,701
or laying here
like this by my side,
468
00:22:45,701 --> 00:22:50,167
everything'll be...
just okay.
469
00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:53,200
[SIGHS]
470
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,634
I've been blowing
my own horn...
471
00:22:57,434 --> 00:23:00,901
for a lot of years.
472
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,834
I'm gonna tell
you something--
473
00:23:05,467 --> 00:23:09,601
I ain't nothing
without you.
474
00:23:35,234 --> 00:23:38,000
You know something,
Archie?
475
00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:42,300
You're a pip.
476
00:23:43,501 --> 00:23:46,167
A real pip.
477
00:24:21,868 --> 00:24:23,367
[***]
478
00:24:38,033 --> 00:24:40,501
All in the Family wasplayed to a studio audience
479
00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:42,434
for live responses.
480
00:24:42,484 --> 00:24:47,034
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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