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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:04,934 Boy, the way Glenn Miller played 2 00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:08,133 Songs that made the hit parade 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,334 Guys like us, we had it made 4 00:00:11,334 --> 00:00:14,367 Those were the days 5 00:00:14,367 --> 00:00:18,300 And you knew where you were then 6 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,567 Girls were girls, and men were men 7 00:00:21,567 --> 00:00:26,534 Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again 8 00:00:26,534 --> 00:00:30,067 Didn't need no welfare state 9 00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:33,534 Everybody pulled his weight 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:38,133 Gee, our old LaSalle ran great 11 00:00:38,133 --> 00:00:44,100 Those were the days 12 00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:49,100 [HUMMING] 13 00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:53,534 Oh! Ew! 14 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,367 Glow little glowworm 15 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:03,334 Glimmer, glimmer 16 00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:05,567 Edith! 17 00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:06,901 I'm home. 18 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,601 EDITH: In the kitchen! 19 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,067 Let's eat fast, will you? 20 00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,267 I wanna pick up the start 21 00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:14,868 of the Rangers-Blackhawks game on TV, see-- 22 00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:17,300 Oh, geez. What is this? 23 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,367 One, two, three. 24 00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:21,934 What do we got, a deadbeat for dinner? 25 00:01:21,934 --> 00:01:24,567 That ain't nice. 26 00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:27,434 You're telling me. I hate it. 27 00:01:27,434 --> 00:01:30,734 Company from Jersey. 28 00:01:30,734 --> 00:01:32,634 From Jersey? 29 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:36,133 I'd rather see somebody from Red China. 30 00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:40,467 Do you remember my Aunt Tessie, 31 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,968 on my father's side? 32 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:47,934 Oh, gee. Who is that ? Tessie with the moustache? 33 00:01:47,934 --> 00:01:50,234 Not anymore! 34 00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:54,167 Elizabeth Arden took care of that. 35 00:01:54,167 --> 00:01:57,167 Anyway, it ain't her that's comin'. 36 00:01:57,167 --> 00:01:59,400 It ain't Elizabeth Arden that's comin'? 37 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,567 No. It ain't Aunt Tessie that ain't comin'. 38 00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,968 It's Floyd. Oh. 39 00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,133 Floyd ain't comin'. 40 00:02:07,133 --> 00:02:09,868 No, Floyd is comin'. 41 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,901 Jeez. I'm punchy, Edith. 42 00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:20,033 That makes him a once-removed 43 00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:22,934 nephew-in-law to my father 44 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:27,767 and a twice-removed step cousin-in-law to me. 45 00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:35,534 Well, apart from being such a close relative, Edith... 46 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:38,501 what the hell does Floyd want with us? Money? 47 00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:42,567 Oh, no! He's just passin' through. 48 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,033 Yeah, that's what Jesse James was always doin', 49 00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:46,501 just passing through. 50 00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:52,067 Oh, my. He's had such a sad life. 51 00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:53,901 - Let me tell you what happened. - No, no, Edith. 52 00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:56,934 Please, don't tell me-- don't tell me, Edith, please. 53 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,968 I don't wanna know nothin' about this guy! 54 00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,300 [DOORBELL RINGS] 55 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:01,701 - Oh, there he is! - Already? 56 00:03:01,701 --> 00:03:04,200 - Archie, be nice! - Oh! 57 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,133 Coming! 58 00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:13,100 - Floyd! - [laughs] 59 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,667 Oh, it's so nice to see you! 60 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:18,033 Edith, you're a sight for sore eyes. 61 00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:20,701 Come on in. Put your bags down. 62 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,501 - Yeah, yeah. - Archie! 63 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:24,467 Look who's here! 64 00:03:24,467 --> 00:03:26,834 I'm lookin'. I'm lookin'. 65 00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,067 Oh! 66 00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:31,767 This here is my Stephanie. 67 00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,234 Stephanie! Oh-- 68 00:03:34,234 --> 00:03:37,567 You didn't tell me you was bringin' Stephanie. 69 00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:40,100 Well, I wanted it to be a surprise. 70 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:43,334 I knew there'd be some surprise. 71 00:03:43,334 --> 00:03:47,200 Oh, Stephanie, I used to know you 72 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,267 when you was a little baby. 73 00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:51,234 But you grew! 74 00:03:51,234 --> 00:03:54,701 Oh, my, she really grew! 75 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,534 That's the main thing kids do, Edith. 76 00:03:58,534 --> 00:04:00,200 Oh, excuse me. 77 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,267 Floyd, this is Archie. 78 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,334 Hi, Arch. 79 00:04:03,334 --> 00:04:05,634 Yeah, hi there, Floyd. 80 00:04:05,634 --> 00:04:08,467 I'm your Aunt Edith. 81 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:10,000 It's nice to see you. 82 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,901 I heard a lot about you. 83 00:04:11,901 --> 00:04:13,801 [giggling] Oh! 84 00:04:13,801 --> 00:04:16,701 Oh, this is your Uncle Archie. 85 00:04:16,701 --> 00:04:18,634 Hiya there, kiddo. 86 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:22,534 I heard a lot about you, too. 87 00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:27,000 Stephanie, go give your Uncle Archie 88 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,701 a great big hug and a kiss, huh? 89 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,868 Oh--Uh, no, no, she don't have to do that. 90 00:04:30,868 --> 00:04:32,000 You don't have to do that, kid. 91 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,968 Not unless you really want to. 92 00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,567 Thank you. 93 00:04:39,133 --> 00:04:43,100 Well, come on. Let's everybody sit down. 94 00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:47,300 Well, you got bags. You're takin' a trip, huh? 95 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,501 Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm on my way to Fort Lauderdale. 96 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,767 Oh, that's a nice, long way. Yeah. 97 00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:55,267 Would you like some milk and cookies? 98 00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:56,767 No, thanks. 99 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:58,934 Would you like an apple? 100 00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:00,367 No, thanks, 101 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:05,033 Would you like to wash your hands or anything? 102 00:05:05,033 --> 00:05:08,534 No, thanks, but I'd like to go to the john. 103 00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:10,701 [giggling] Oh! 104 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:11,934 Well, come on! 105 00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:15,334 I'll show you where it is. 106 00:05:15,334 --> 00:05:18,801 - We're goin' to the john. - I heard. 107 00:05:21,434 --> 00:05:24,100 Goin' to the john. 108 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,567 You'd think you coulda taught her 109 00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:28,300 to say "terlit," like educated people. 110 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,968 Well, I do the best I can. 111 00:05:30,968 --> 00:05:34,200 Well, you missed. 112 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,767 Well, you might as well sit down, if you want to. 113 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:39,634 Gee, thanks. 114 00:05:39,634 --> 00:05:41,968 Hold it. Not in that chair. 115 00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:45,000 Gee, I hope you don't mind, Arch, 116 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,534 but I think I could use a drink. 117 00:05:47,534 --> 00:05:48,868 No, I don't mind. 118 00:05:48,868 --> 00:05:52,067 I think I got a bottle of-- 119 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:57,834 Oh, geez. The drunk's demitasse. 120 00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,767 [HUMMING] 121 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,300 Do you like kids? 122 00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:22,601 Oh, I love kids! 123 00:06:22,601 --> 00:06:24,734 Does Uncle Archie like 'em? 124 00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,133 Oh, sure, he does. 125 00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:29,234 We got a kid of our own--Gloria. 126 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:31,767 I'll show you a picture of her. 127 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:35,601 You met her at Aunt Shirley's apartment 128 00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:37,067 in Brooklyn once. 129 00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:40,767 She's all grown up now. 130 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,200 There she is. 131 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,534 And that's her little boy Joey. 132 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,200 He's nearly three. 133 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:50,467 I used to sing him a lullaby every night, 134 00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:52,834 and as soon as I stopped singin', 135 00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:56,934 he went right off to sleep. 136 00:06:56,934 --> 00:06:59,567 So, you see, we love kids. 137 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,400 Some people don't. 138 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,801 Oh, I don't know anybody that don't like kids. 139 00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:08,234 You know Aunt Shirley from Brooklyn? 140 00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:10,601 Oh, yeah. That's true. 141 00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,234 And Aunt Vera from Hollis? 142 00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:14,267 Oh, yeah. Her, too. 143 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,601 They don't like kids. 144 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,634 They even said so to me. 145 00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:20,767 I don't think my mother liked kids much either. 146 00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:22,901 You musn't say that. 147 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,100 When she went away, 148 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,634 she didn't take me with her. 149 00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:31,200 Well, maybe she wanted to but she couldn't. 150 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,501 She said the man she went with wouldn't let her. 151 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,567 Can I see Gloria's room? 152 00:07:38,567 --> 00:07:41,133 Oh, this isGloria's room. 153 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:45,934 You can take a nap in here before dinner if you want to. 154 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,267 Are we gonna have dinner? 155 00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,667 Oh, sure! 156 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:57,133 We're gonna have a real nice dinner, 157 00:07:57,133 --> 00:08:00,167 'cause you're a real nice little girl. 158 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:16,033 So, anyway... 159 00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:17,834 Gee, I hate to ask for help. 160 00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:21,067 Well, that's good 'cause I hate to give it. 161 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,100 Especially if it's money. 162 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:27,601 Oh, no, no, it's not money. 163 00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:30,601 Well, then you got a chance. What is it? 164 00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,133 Well... 165 00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:34,567 See, I was sort of hopin' that maybe you could 166 00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:37,634 look after Stephanie for me for a couple of weeks. 167 00:08:37,634 --> 00:08:39,501 You had a better chance for money. 168 00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:42,067 Wait-- 169 00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:43,467 it's just till I get set. 170 00:08:43,467 --> 00:08:45,300 I mean, she won't be no trouble at all. 171 00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:47,300 Oh, quit your kiddin', will you, Floyd? 172 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:50,100 Listen, Edith don't need no helpless child 173 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:52,133 hangin' around demandin' all her attention. 174 00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:55,067 She's got me. 175 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:57,667 What are you two talkin' about? 176 00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,234 Oh, this guy here. 177 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,934 He wants to beat it to Florida 178 00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:02,634 and dump his kid on us. 179 00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:04,734 It's just for two weeks, maybe three. 180 00:09:04,734 --> 00:09:06,033 No, no, no. Edith-- 181 00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:09,367 Edith, tell Floyd he's barkin' up the wrong tree. 182 00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:12,267 You're barkin' up the wrong tree. 183 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:14,434 You heard the boss. 184 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:17,701 And we'd love to keep Stephanie for you! 185 00:09:17,701 --> 00:09:19,334 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 186 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:20,434 Oh, Edith, you're a saint! 187 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,567 Hey! Hey, Floyd! 188 00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:25,601 Hey, the Pope give us enough saints. 189 00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:27,033 Are you nuts? 190 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,734 - Yeah! - You are? 191 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,968 Oh, no! 192 00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,234 Then don't be actin' like a nut, will ya? 193 00:09:33,234 --> 00:09:35,601 We finally got a nice, peaceful life goin' here. 194 00:09:35,601 --> 00:09:37,334 You wanna louse it up with another kid? 195 00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:39,434 But it's only for two weeks! 196 00:09:39,434 --> 00:09:40,801 - Three at the most. - Oh, geez, Edith! 197 00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:44,234 Shh! Edith. 198 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:47,634 Have pity on yourself, will you? 199 00:09:47,634 --> 00:09:52,000 You're an older woman. Can't you face that? 200 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,200 And I'm getting there pretty fast myself. 201 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,701 Kids louse up your life there, 202 00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:00,801 and we ain't got that much left! 203 00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,467 Are we getting thrown out again? 204 00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:07,300 Yeah. 205 00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,701 That is exactly what we're gettin'. 206 00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:11,000 Come on. Get your stuff. 207 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,033 Wait a minute! Ain't you gonna stay for dinner? 208 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,701 No, people don't wanna eat 209 00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:17,968 when their feelings are hurt. 210 00:10:17,968 --> 00:10:20,267 Never mind, Edith. 211 00:10:20,267 --> 00:10:21,734 We got a bus to catch. 212 00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:24,534 I hope you can manage, Floyd. 213 00:10:24,534 --> 00:10:26,534 Oh, don't worry, Edith. I'll manage. 214 00:10:26,534 --> 00:10:28,901 I got it all worked out. 215 00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:30,634 This is it, kid. Let's go. 216 00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,801 Oh, well, Stephanie... 217 00:10:32,801 --> 00:10:35,200 I'm sorry. 218 00:10:37,934 --> 00:10:42,901 I hope we see each other again real soon. 219 00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:45,968 We will, Aunt Edith. 220 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:05,701 Now don't be giving me that look. 221 00:11:09,167 --> 00:11:12,868 I'm sorry I made you feel bad, but I ain't sorry for what I done! 222 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:20,100 [SIGHS] 223 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:28,334 Oh, listen, don't start this stuff, will you? 224 00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:29,801 Edith. 225 00:11:29,801 --> 00:11:31,901 When people bring kids into this world, 226 00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:34,067 they gotta raise 'em themselves there. 227 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,400 But they ain't gonna do that 228 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,834 if they can find kind and dopey relatives 229 00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:39,467 who're gonna do it for them! 230 00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:40,968 [DOORBELL RINGS] 231 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:43,200 I'll get that. 232 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,267 Your cousin Floyd, 233 00:11:44,267 --> 00:11:47,033 he learned a good lesson here today. 234 00:11:47,033 --> 00:11:49,767 He learned that he can't dump his responsibilities 235 00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:51,601 in our living room. 236 00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:03,968 Oh, holy cow. 237 00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,567 Floyd learned fast, Edith. 238 00:12:18,567 --> 00:12:22,267 He dumped his responsibilities on our porch! 239 00:12:24,934 --> 00:12:25,968 Oh! 240 00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:37,133 Wait a minute, Waldo. 241 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:39,167 Listen, all I'm askin' to do 242 00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:41,100 is take care of this little kid 243 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,834 just for two weeks till her daddy comes back-- 244 00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:46,734 Hello? 245 00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:49,400 You lousy bum. 246 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,200 Won't do nothin' for a helpless little child. 247 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,234 EDITH: Shh! 248 00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:54,334 Oh, don't shush me. 249 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:57,300 Jeez, your relatives are selfish. 250 00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:00,067 Stephie's takin' a nap. 251 00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:02,901 Edith, we're runnin' out of relatives here, that's all. 252 00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:05,133 Then we just have to face it. 253 00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:10,200 We got a nice little girl on our hands for two weeks, 254 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,000 maybe three. 255 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,634 Oh, geez. Well, I don't-- 256 00:13:14,634 --> 00:13:16,734 Hold it, hold it. Here's one I missed. 257 00:13:16,734 --> 00:13:18,934 Who is this? Lawson, L. 258 00:13:18,934 --> 00:13:22,434 Louella Lawson! 259 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:27,267 Oh, I ain't thought about her for years! 260 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:31,234 Well, geez, Edith! Think about her now, will ya, huh? 261 00:13:31,234 --> 00:13:32,567 Her address is right here. 262 00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:35,934 Sunnyfield Farm. Utica, New York, there. 263 00:13:35,934 --> 00:13:37,167 Sunnyfield Farm. 264 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:39,334 That sounds like a swell place for kids. 265 00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:43,300 Oh, no! That's for older people, 266 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,901 and they're all... you know, 267 00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:48,467 kinda happy. 268 00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:54,567 Well, Edith, that's it. 269 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,334 We're down to the bottom of the barrel, 270 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:59,267 which means, the cops. I gotta call 'em. 271 00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:00,834 Oh, no! Please don't do that, Archie. 272 00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:02,133 What are you gonna do? 273 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,300 The cops'll know exactly who I should call-- 274 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:05,968 - EDITH: No! No! - ARCHIE: Edith! Edith! Edith! 275 00:14:05,968 --> 00:14:09,701 ARCHIE: I cannot have this kid in this house! 276 00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:12,934 [ARCHIE AND EDITH ARGUE] 277 00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,234 Edith, Edith, give me the phone. 278 00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:16,367 - Come on now. - No, you ain't gonna do it. 279 00:14:16,367 --> 00:14:18,634 - No! No! - Edith, Edith, come on. 280 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,567 [BOTH SHOUTING] 281 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,934 Edith, give me the-- 282 00:14:25,968 --> 00:14:30,300 Edith, do you realize how this would look 283 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,834 if the neighbors strolled in? 284 00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:36,934 I ain't ashamed of what I'm doin'. 285 00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:41,133 Oh, gee! The back of my knee, Edith! 286 00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,501 All right, all right, all right. 287 00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:43,734 - I give up! - All right. 288 00:14:43,734 --> 00:14:45,601 Come on, get me out of this thing! 289 00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,167 All right. I'll unravel us right now-- 290 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,267 Oh! 291 00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:51,734 Archie... 292 00:14:51,734 --> 00:14:53,567 give me the phone. 293 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,734 Edith, this is ridiculous. 294 00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:58,467 You know that I'm gonna be able to make phone calls 295 00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:01,834 someplace else, Edith, even if I have to go down to the bar. 296 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,334 - No, Archie. You ain't-- - I'll run down to the gas station. 297 00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:06,100 - Come on in the kitchen. - This is so stupid. 298 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,200 I'll get you a nice beer, 299 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,667 - and you'll feel much better. Sit down now. - I'm gonna do it, Edith. 300 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,767 I don't know why you fight me on this thing, Edith. 301 00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:14,133 [WEARILY] Archie! 302 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,868 - Listen, listen, listen. - [SIGHS] 303 00:15:15,868 --> 00:15:17,734 Edith, Edith. 304 00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,968 Let's don't fight about this thing, huh? 305 00:15:19,968 --> 00:15:23,133 I mean, why can't we do what they do 306 00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:24,968 when the U.S. government has a disagreement? 307 00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:26,367 You know, they vote on it. 308 00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:28,200 - Oh, yeah! All right! - Yeah, all right. 309 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,000 - So we take a vote, all right? - Yeah. 310 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,868 All right, I vote the kid goes. 311 00:15:31,868 --> 00:15:34,834 And I vote that she stays. 312 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,167 Which is a tie. 313 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:37,868 And in the case of a tie, 314 00:15:37,868 --> 00:15:41,868 the president always casts the deciding vote. 315 00:15:41,868 --> 00:15:44,567 I vote she goes. 316 00:15:46,334 --> 00:15:48,901 Are you the president? 317 00:15:48,901 --> 00:15:52,100 Edith, I thought you knew that. 318 00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,467 Well, I didn't vote for you. 319 00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:00,234 Archie... 320 00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:05,601 EDITH: She's just staying for two weeks! 321 00:16:05,601 --> 00:16:07,033 ARCHIE: Two weeks? 322 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,334 EDITH: Oh, I gotta remember to leave a note for the milkman. 323 00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:14,934 Two extra quarts of homogenizedmilk and some yogurt. 324 00:16:14,934 --> 00:16:16,968 ARCHIE: I hate yogurt. 325 00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:24,000 SPORTS COMMENTATOR: ...score the winning goal. 326 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,701 ARCHIE: Go! 327 00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,501 Now, Gunderson for the home team... 328 00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:30,467 [LAUGHS] 329 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,667 - He splits-- - [LAUGHS] 330 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,934 ...from the business end of the stick. 331 00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:35,200 Give it to him, Gunderson. 332 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,701 Hey, pay him back for that earlobe he bit off. 333 00:16:38,701 --> 00:16:40,400 Hey, this guy Leveque just got married. 334 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,667 I hope there's enough of him left to take home! 335 00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:43,667 [LAUGHS] 336 00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:46,067 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 337 00:16:46,067 --> 00:16:47,067 Archie's Place. 338 00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:50,100 Archie, Stephanie is gone! 339 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,033 What, did her old man come and get her? 340 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:54,133 No! She run away! 341 00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,801 She's out there all alone! 342 00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:59,434 Oh, my God! All alone? 343 00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:02,334 She took her suitcase and run away! 344 00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:05,167 She took her suitcase and run away? 345 00:17:05,167 --> 00:17:06,767 Who took her suitcase and run away? 346 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:09,267 The kid took her suitcase and run away. 347 00:17:09,267 --> 00:17:10,300 Call the police! 348 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,334 Don't tell me what to do, Harry, huh? 349 00:17:12,334 --> 00:17:14,667 Edith, call the police. 350 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,667 Archie, I think she's on her way 351 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,167 to Fort Lauderdale. 352 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,868 Would you go down to the bus station? 353 00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:25,167 I'll stay here in case she decides to come back. 354 00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:27,534 And call me, Archie, if you find her. 355 00:17:27,534 --> 00:17:29,234 I'll call you. I'll call you. 356 00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:32,100 - And call me if you don't find her! - I'll call. 357 00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,834 The number is Ravenswood... 358 00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:39,033 Edith, I know our phone number. 359 00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:40,634 I'll call you. 360 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:41,701 Good-bye. 361 00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:45,200 Okay, Harry. Take over. 362 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,033 I gotta get down to the bus station. 363 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,934 Why don't you leave it to the cops? 364 00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,267 The cops? 365 00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:53,033 The cops can't find a big guy like Jimmy Hoffa. 366 00:17:53,033 --> 00:17:54,801 How they gonna find a little girl? 367 00:18:07,234 --> 00:18:09,300 [SIGHS] 368 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:28,534 Hey there, chief. 369 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,133 Want some fun? 370 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:35,100 I don't like fun. I'm a maniac. 371 00:18:36,767 --> 00:18:39,267 MAN OVER P.A.: 8:30, Somerset line. 372 00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:41,400 Westfield route. Stopping at Elizabeth, 373 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,801 Hillside, Linden, Russell Park, 374 00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:47,033 Cranford, Westfield, now boarding on ramp 12. 375 00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:50,934 Uh, hey, you gonna keep sittin' there? 376 00:18:56,934 --> 00:18:58,567 Excuse me. 377 00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:02,133 Hey, kiddo, you never should've escaped from that hospital 378 00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:04,100 with that raging scarlet fever. 379 00:19:11,801 --> 00:19:14,133 Is that you behind that magazine? 380 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,501 Nope. 381 00:19:16,501 --> 00:19:19,701 What do you mean no? That's you! 382 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,267 Come on, now. 383 00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:23,501 Hey, you hadn't oughta run away from home 384 00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:24,868 that way tonight. 385 00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,767 See, 'cause that puts me in the wrong. 386 00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,601 That's my house you run away from there. 387 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:33,467 Means that I'm contributin' to the, uh, what do you call, 388 00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:35,467 the "loosensy" of a child. 389 00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:40,300 I mean, I could get in big trouble. 390 00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,767 I wouldn't tell on you. 391 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,934 Oh! Hey, listen, kiddo. 392 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,300 The cops got ways of making you talk. 393 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:48,634 How? 394 00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:50,801 Oh, I don't know. 395 00:19:50,801 --> 00:19:53,033 Maybe--maybe they'd shine a light 396 00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:55,534 in your face all night, ya know? 397 00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,667 Or maybe one of them hold your dolly 398 00:19:57,667 --> 00:20:00,834 while two more would knock you around a while. 399 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:03,300 What would they do to you? 400 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,934 Oh! I could get time, you know? 401 00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:09,834 Maybe five to ten years up in Dannemora, 402 00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:13,734 where I'd probably lead a bunch of tough guys 403 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,067 trying to bust out, you know? 404 00:20:16,067 --> 00:20:18,701 I'd get mowed down by the screws. 405 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,067 And then, what would your Aunt Edith do with no husband? 406 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:27,601 Get another one. 407 00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:30,234 Oh, oh, oh. 408 00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:31,334 What do you think? 409 00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:34,133 A woman can get another man like that? 410 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,434 My mother did. 411 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,701 Hey, listen. 412 00:20:40,701 --> 00:20:45,200 Why did your mother run away from your father? 413 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:50,167 She told me she got tired of hearing his voice and looking at his face. 414 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:52,868 Oh, geez. 415 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,400 Well, your mother had no right 416 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,067 to tell you a thing like that. 417 00:20:58,067 --> 00:21:00,400 Why not? 418 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:05,334 Because a child should never be told the truth. 419 00:21:05,334 --> 00:21:07,300 Especially about parents. 420 00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,200 She could've told you something nice. 421 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,467 Like, she could've said 422 00:21:11,467 --> 00:21:15,200 that, uh, she went away for a while on a trip 423 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,033 for her health, you know? 424 00:21:18,033 --> 00:21:20,467 And then, later on, when she come back, 425 00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,767 she could tell you that she got better. 426 00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:24,868 She couldn't come back. 427 00:21:24,868 --> 00:21:26,400 Why not? 428 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,501 She was killed in a car accident. 429 00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:46,434 Well... 430 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000 Uh... 431 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,167 Listen, Rose Marie... 432 00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:53,734 Stephanie. 433 00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:56,100 Whatever. 434 00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:58,567 You can't take no bus tonight. 435 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:02,434 I know. I only got $1.85. 436 00:22:02,434 --> 00:22:04,501 Then why did you come to the bus station? 437 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:07,133 After a while, somebody notices me, 438 00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:09,667 and they take me to the children's shelter. 439 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,067 And then in a few months, 440 00:22:11,067 --> 00:22:13,133 my father comes and gets me again. 441 00:22:14,868 --> 00:22:17,801 But why don't he leave you in the shelter in the first place? 442 00:22:17,801 --> 00:22:19,701 He's not allowed to. 443 00:22:19,701 --> 00:22:21,601 MAN OVER P.A.: 9:00, Short Line bus. 444 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:24,133 Poughkeepsie route, stopping at Paramus, 445 00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,100 Newburgh, Fishkill, Poughkeepsie, 446 00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:27,667 now boarding on ramp two. 447 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,834 Uh... tell you what we do, kiddo. 448 00:22:36,834 --> 00:22:39,434 You and me, we go find a telephone 449 00:22:39,434 --> 00:22:40,634 and call up your Aunt Edith. 450 00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:42,567 And then the two of us we go on home, huh? 451 00:22:42,567 --> 00:22:44,467 Aren't you still mad at me? 452 00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:47,834 When was I ever mad at you? 453 00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,767 I was just saying to your Aunt Edith tonight, 454 00:22:49,767 --> 00:22:51,734 wouldn't it be nice to have a little girl like you 455 00:22:51,734 --> 00:22:53,234 around the house for a couple of weeks? 456 00:22:53,234 --> 00:22:55,234 That isn't what I heard you say. 457 00:22:58,567 --> 00:23:00,701 Hey. Listen. 458 00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:06,834 If you was eavesdrippin'... 459 00:23:06,834 --> 00:23:11,534 that there is a very defensive thing to do. 460 00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:18,467 But this time, I forgive you. 461 00:23:20,634 --> 00:23:24,133 Now, what do you say you and me, we go and have a soda, huh? 462 00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:28,400 And some chewing gum, too? 463 00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:31,501 Yeah, sure. 464 00:23:31,501 --> 00:23:33,100 Okay. 465 00:23:33,100 --> 00:23:36,167 Okay. Come on, huh? 466 00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:38,767 Can I have a new comic book, too? 467 00:23:40,334 --> 00:23:42,300 Oh, geez. 468 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,033 You made them all the same, Lord. 469 00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:48,734 Give 'em an inch... 470 00:23:48,734 --> 00:23:50,701 Yeah. Come on. 471 00:23:51,968 --> 00:23:54,167 Don't look at nobody goin' out, hear me? 472 00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,968 You might catch somethin'. 473 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,167 [ ] 474 00:24:35,467 --> 00:24:38,167 All in the Family was played to a studio audience 475 00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:40,501 for live responses. 476 00:24:40,551 --> 00:24:45,101 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33084

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