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00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:04,801
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:07,934
♪ Songs that made
the hit parade ♪
3
00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:11,100
♪ Guys like us
we had it made ♪
4
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,734
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:13,734 --> 00:00:17,267
♪ And you knew
where you were then ♪
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,434
♪ Girls were girls
and men were men ♪
7
00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:22,634
♪ Mister, we could use a man ♪
8
00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:25,601
♪ Like Herbert Hoover again ♪
9
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,767
♪ Didn't need
no welfare state ♪
10
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,534
♪ Everybody pulled
his weight ♪
11
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:35,801
♪ Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great ♪
12
00:00:35,801 --> 00:00:41,868
♪ Those were the days ♪
13
00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:49,534
That's not how you say it.
It's a tee-ruck. A truck.
14
00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:51,734
Shh.
Don't talk so loud.
15
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,334
Archie's asleep.
16
00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:56,801
He worked at the saloon
till all hours last night.
17
00:00:56,801 --> 00:01:00,200
He didn't get home until
five o'clock this morning.
18
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,767
I was sound asleep.
19
00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,000
Then how'd you know
what time it was?
20
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,601
Oh, Archie always
wakes me up
21
00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:10,434
to tell me it's only him
getting into bed with me.
22
00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,501
That's considerate.
23
00:01:13,501 --> 00:01:15,133
Oh, I don't mind.
24
00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:18,033
Sometimes I'm in the middle
of a bad dream
25
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:20,968
and that gets me out of it.
26
00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:24,334
Yeah, but what if
you were having a dream about...
27
00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:27,634
Paul Newman?
28
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,501
Oh...
29
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,133
Oh!
30
00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:36,000
Ohh.
31
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,400
I don't have
dreams like that.
32
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,767
Often.
33
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,100
Mailgram
for Gloria Stivic!
34
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,901
Mailgram
for Gloria Stivic!
35
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,133
The impact of a telegram
at a fraction of the cost.
36
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,467
Quiet.
Shh!
37
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:50,968
Why are you
shushin' me?
38
00:01:50,968 --> 00:01:52,267
Archie's asleep.
39
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,267
He is like hell.
40
00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:56,400
Oh, Arch,
did I wake you up? I'm sorry.
41
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,501
Think nothing of it,
meathead.
42
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,267
A few brief winks a night
is all a workin' man needs.
43
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:05,868
Oh, Archie, you better
go back to sleep.
44
00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:08,334
I'll make you a nice,
hot cup of cocoa.
45
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:10,701
Cocoa gives me gas.
46
00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:12,968
Oh! Cocoa will
make you sleep.
47
00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:15,734
You want me to
sleep with gas?
48
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,167
Gloria, who's
the mailgram from?
49
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,567
It's from my old friend
Debbie Ballantine.
50
00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:25,400
Did I hear
Debbie Ballantine?
51
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,667
Yeah.
52
00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:29,801
I never liked her
and I always will.
53
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,100
She just had another baby.
54
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:35,701
Debbie Ballantine
had another baby?!
55
00:02:35,701 --> 00:02:38,601
What does that make,
four or five?
56
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,801
Six.
57
00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:43,467
Oh, my! Somewhere
along the line,
58
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:46,567
I lost a whole baby.
59
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,367
Somewhere along
the line,
60
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:53,200
did Debbie ever pick
herself up a husband?
61
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,234
Who's Debbie Ballantine?
62
00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:59,200
She's the mother
of a kindergarten in Woodside.
63
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,033
Honey, you gotta
remember her.
64
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,467
If it wasn't
for Debbie,
65
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,367
you and I would
never have met.
66
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,767
That's another reason
I'll never like her.
67
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:09,601
Don't you
remember her?
68
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,167
He don't
remember nothin'
69
00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:13,601
from the past
exceptin' meals.
70
00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:16,534
Ma and Daddy went
to visit Aunt Iola.
71
00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:19,200
Who was supposed
to be dyin' again.
72
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,934
Anyway,
that left me alone
73
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,734
here in the house
for the whole weekend,
74
00:03:22,734 --> 00:03:25,467
so I had my friend
Debbie come over and stay with me.
75
00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:29,934
It's hard to believe
that was nine years ago...
76
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:33,367
Ah, Edith, I ain't
in the mood for this.
77
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,801
Do we have to go over
78
00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:36,634
and see
your aunt Iola today?
79
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:42,434
Oh, Archie, she
may not be alive tomorrow.
80
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:46,367
So we could have
a nice, quiet visit over there.
81
00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:51,667
Oh, Archie.
Oh, be nice.
82
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:54,133
That poor,
sweet old lady
83
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,968
is at death's door.
84
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,501
Ah, come on, Edith.
85
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:58,701
For the last ten years
86
00:03:58,701 --> 00:04:00,968
she's been
at death's door,
87
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:03,567
but she never knocks
or rings the bell
88
00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:06,033
or makes
an honest effort to get in there.
89
00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:11,100
Gloria! Debbie!
We're going!
90
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,234
Oh, okay, Ma.
91
00:04:13,234 --> 00:04:15,467
Bye.
92
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:16,934
Give Aunt Iola my love.
93
00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:18,234
Bye, Daddy.
94
00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:19,701
Why aren't
you smiling?
95
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,534
You aren't goin'
to a funeral.
96
00:04:21,534 --> 00:04:23,167
That's why
I ain't smilin'.
97
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:25,801
- Bye, Ma.
- Bye, dear.
98
00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:27,167
Oh, geez, Edith.
99
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,400
What the hell you got
in this bag here?
100
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,667
- Bricks?
- No. Marmalade.
101
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:35,367
Aunt Iola loves
my marmalade.
102
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,534
I'm takin' her
12 jars.
103
00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,400
Oh, ain't that nice?
104
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,200
I'll tell you one thing,
I ain't gonna lug this back to New York.
105
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,868
If Iola
dies over there,
106
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,200
the marmalade gets
buried with her.
107
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:48,901
Bye, Ma!
108
00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,200
Oh, good-bye now.
109
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,234
You girls have
a nice time studyin'.
110
00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:54,300
Good-bye, Daddy.
111
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,367
Your mother
told youse--
112
00:04:55,367 --> 00:04:57,000
be good girls,
now.
113
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,234
BOTH: We will!
114
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,834
Now let's get
a couple of guys
115
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,300
and tell them
to come over.
116
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,167
No, Debbie,
I don't think
117
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,234
we should have
boys over here.
118
00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:08,501
I promised
my parents that we'd study.
119
00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:10,133
And besides,
there's nothing excitin'
120
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,634
goin' on over here.
121
00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:13,501
There will be.
122
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:15,234
Oh?
123
00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:17,634
Oh!
124
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:20,000
Ohhh!!
125
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,467
No, I don't think
126
00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:23,200
we should have
boys over.
127
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,000
Are you afraid
to have boys over here?
128
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,501
Nah, course not.
129
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,267
What's the matter, then?
130
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,734
I don't know.
131
00:05:30,734 --> 00:05:33,267
What would we do
when the boys get here?
132
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:39,000
Gloria...are you
still a virgin?
133
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,734
Well, uh...
134
00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:42,934
Um...
135
00:05:42,934 --> 00:05:44,734
Don't you remember?
136
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,100
It's not my fault, see.
137
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,567
It's my parents.
138
00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,767
They're virgins?
139
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:58,400
Of course not!
140
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,033
It's just that
my father thinks
141
00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:04,167
that a girl shouldn't
have [WHISPERS] sex
142
00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:05,868
until after
she's married,
143
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:10,200
and even then, only when
it's absolutely necessary.
144
00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:15,667
It's just that my father
thinks that it's okay
145
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,000
for men
to have [WHISPERS] sex,
146
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,734
but it's not okay
for women.
147
00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:26,100
Well, who are the men supposed
to have [WHISPERS] sex with?
148
00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:33,200
I don't think
he's thought it through that far.
149
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,634
I'm thirsty.
150
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:35,868
Look, Gloria,
151
00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:37,601
I just met
this guy who says
152
00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:39,701
he's got a groovy
new roommate.
153
00:06:39,701 --> 00:06:42,067
A roommate?
What do you mean, roommate?
154
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,133
They're college men.
155
00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,934
College men?
156
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:48,501
Oh, my God!
157
00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,367
Oh, I don't know,
Debbie.
158
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,033
I mean, I've heard
how these college men are.
159
00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,734
Well, that's
why we want them to come over here.
160
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:58,434
Oh, my God.
161
00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:02,033
Look, you'll probably
love Jim's roommate.
162
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,534
Oh, yeah?
What's he like?
163
00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,834
Oh, he's swell.
164
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,968
I hear he's from
outside of Chicago.
165
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,667
Outside Chicago?!
166
00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:13,300
Wow! He sounds terrific.
167
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:15,968
What do you say, Gloria?
168
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,267
Should I call 'em over?
169
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,100
Well, all right.
170
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,801
What have I got to lose?
171
00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,601
Forget I said that.
172
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,801
But you know,
wait a minute, Debbie.
173
00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,701
What if I
don't like him?
174
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:31,167
Well, um...
175
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,968
just give me
a signal.
176
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:34,300
Oh, okay.
177
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,767
If I don't like him,
178
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:38,000
I...will...
179
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,000
pull on my ear
like Carol Burnett.
180
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,367
- Okay.
- Okay.
181
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,033
- Oh, my God!
- What's the matter?
182
00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:48,400
If I got a date tonight,
I better curl my hair.
183
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,701
Really?
184
00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:55,801
704 Hauser.
185
00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:56,801
Okay, Debbie.
186
00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,200
See you at 8:30 sharp.
187
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,901
Where you goin'?
188
00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:04,200
We. We're going.
189
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,133
I just fixed you up
with a great chick.
190
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,567
I can't.
I'm busy tonight.
191
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:08,734
We're gonna picket
192
00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:10,868
Nixon's inaugural ball
at the Waldorf.
193
00:08:10,868 --> 00:08:13,667
You're still bitter
'cause your candidate lost.
194
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,901
Yes, yes, I am bitter.
195
00:08:14,901 --> 00:08:16,567
I am damn disappointed
in a country
196
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,834
that would elect
Richard Nixon and not Eldridge Cleaver.
197
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,000
Forget the picketing.
198
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,300
This girl's supposed
to be gorgeous.
199
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:26,434
What if I
don't like her?
200
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,067
Then you'll give me
the secret signal.
201
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,300
I'll make some excuse
so you can split.
202
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,601
Okay.
203
00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:33,534
Come on, I gotta stop
by the drugstore first.
204
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:35,200
Drugstore?
What for?
205
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,300
I wanna take the danger
outta being close.
206
00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:45,000
Oh, you mean...
207
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,033
Clorets! I need Clorets.
208
00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:56,901
[DOORBELL RINGS]
209
00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,200
GLORIA: It's the doorbell.
210
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,634
- DEBBIE: It's the guys.
- [ GLORIA SHRIEKS ]
211
00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:00,934
Oh, Gloria!
212
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:01,934
Please don't go,
Debbie!
213
00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,267
Gloria, shut up!
214
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:05,234
- But I'm
not ready yet. - Shut up!
215
00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:07,067
- [DOORBELL]
- Coming!
216
00:09:08,734 --> 00:09:10,634
- Hi, Jim.
- Hi, Debbie.
217
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,133
Debbie, Mike,
Mike, Debbie.
218
00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,701
Hi. How are you?
219
00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:14,868
Nice to see you.
220
00:09:16,534 --> 00:09:17,534
Hi.
221
00:09:19,701 --> 00:09:20,834
Hi.
222
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,367
Ohh...
223
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,300
Before there's any mix-up,
Jim is my date.
224
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,901
Gloria, this is yours.
225
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,734
[MOUTHING]
Debbie.
226
00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,267
Debbie, we gotta
do something. I can't stand him.
227
00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:25,400
Why not?
228
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,701
That hair...
and that beard.
229
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,667
There's things that
look like jam in it.
230
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,567
Gloria,
I don't understand you.
231
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,767
What did you
expect him to look like, a knight on a white horse?
232
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:45,400
No, but I didn't expect him
to look like a horse.
233
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,367
Please, Debbie,
whatever you do,
234
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:52,167
don't leave me
alone with him.
235
00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:55,667
Whatever you do,
do not leave me alone with her.
236
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,033
What's wrong with her?
237
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:59,200
What's wrong with her?
She's a shrimp!
238
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,033
And that hair! It looks
like the warden pardoned her
239
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:04,334
one minute after
he threw the switch.
240
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,267
Come on, Mike, come on.
241
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,133
What I saw
wasn't half-bad.
242
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:13,200
There's only
half of her there! Where's the rest of her?!
243
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,234
- Hi, guys.
- I got sodas,
244
00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:17,901
but you'll have
to have root beer
245
00:11:17,901 --> 00:11:19,601
'cause I drank
the last Yoo-Hoo.
246
00:11:19,601 --> 00:11:20,901
You wanna go upstairs
247
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,200
and watch television,
Debbie?
248
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,033
Oh, I'd love to.
249
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,968
Uh, no, no!
No, wait a second!
250
00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:26,968
Wait!
251
00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:29,968
There's
no TV upstairs.
252
00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:31,367
Yeah, besides,
there's nothing good
253
00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:32,467
on television
tonight, anyway.
254
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,067
Okay, let's go
out to the car
255
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,467
and listen
to the radio.
256
00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,701
You can't! We don't have
a radio in the car.
257
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,901
Okay, we'll
listen to the dashboard.
258
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,501
No, no, hey!
Hey, fellas!
259
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:53,400
Well...
260
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,033
might as well sit down.
261
00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:05,801
- No!
- What?
262
00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:09,300
Not allowed to sit
in that chair.
263
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,434
Why not?
264
00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:12,334
Because it's
my father's chair
265
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,300
and he doesn't like
anyone to sit in it.
266
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,267
Well, how's
he gonna know?
267
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,334
Because he was
wounded in the war,
268
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:24,634
you know, WWII,
the big one?
269
00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:27,968
And where he was wounded
is how he knows
270
00:12:27,968 --> 00:12:29,934
if someone's been sitting
in his chair.
271
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,367
Is that one all right?
272
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:40,801
Yes, my mother
wasn't wounded.
273
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,234
[SIGHS]
274
00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:55,834
So.
275
00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:06,868
Is your whole family small?
276
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000
Yeah, there's
just the three of us.
277
00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:27,033
So.
278
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,968
Do you make
your own clothes?
279
00:13:34,801 --> 00:13:36,000
Well, I design them.
280
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,200
Someone else
runs them up for me.
281
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,601
What are you
looking at?
282
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,834
Your hair. It's--
283
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,501
It's very...interesting.
284
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,334
It's natural.
285
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:59,167
The color or the curl?
286
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,067
Both.
287
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:09,234
Your hair's...
very interesting, too.
288
00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:10,868
It's natural.
289
00:14:12,567 --> 00:14:15,501
Does it take long to comb?
290
00:14:24,801 --> 00:14:26,567
I don't know.
291
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:50,734
Do you like
knock-knock jokes?
292
00:14:58,834 --> 00:14:59,901
What?
293
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:02,234
Go ahead. You start.
294
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,100
Knock knock.
295
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,501
Who's there?
296
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,767
I gotcha!
297
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,567
Oh, yeah!
298
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:20,000
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
That's funny.
299
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
- I know!
- That's very funny.
300
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Yeah, funny girls
turn me off.
301
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,067
And you know,
302
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,567
for a college man
you're kinda icky.
303
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:40,567
Icky?
304
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,801
You must be
an English major.
305
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:50,968
What did you
come over here for,
306
00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:52,534
to insult me?
307
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,067
Uh, no, no.
308
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,167
Hey, I'm sorry.
309
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,167
Look, uh...
310
00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,934
I don't think this is
working out between us.
311
00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:07,868
Why don't we just
call it a night, huh?
312
00:16:07,868 --> 00:16:09,467
That's fine
with me, Mort.
313
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:12,834
Mike.
314
00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:13,767
Whatever.
315
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,701
It's, uh,
no hard feelings?
316
00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:19,901
No, no hard feelings
at all.
317
00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:22,567
I--I really should
be studying anyway.
318
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,868
Yeah, well,
good night.
319
00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:26,501
Yeah.
320
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,834
Good night.
321
00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,634
Uh, what are
you looking at?
322
00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:32,534
Oh, I was just
trying to figure out
323
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,567
what you look like
without that beard.
324
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,667
Without the beard?
325
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,200
I look just like
Fred Astaire.
326
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,767
[GUFFAWS]
You're kidding!
327
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,267
No, really!
It's the truth.
328
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,601
People,
complete strangers,
329
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:45,033
stop me in the street
and ask me to tap-dance.
330
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,767
So, it was either
grow the beard
331
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:47,968
or take
dancing lessons.
332
00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,868
Oh. Well.
333
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,067
[SIGHS]
Good night.
334
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,400
You know,
if your hair
335
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,000
were longer
and straighter,
336
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,834
you would
look just like Ginger Rogers.
337
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,534
- No!
- No, really! I mean it.
338
00:17:00,534 --> 00:17:03,434
- You're kidding!
- I mean it, yes!
339
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,400
You mean if I had
long, straight hair
340
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,267
we'd probably be
dancing partners?
341
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:09,701
Well, I...
342
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:10,801
We might.
343
00:17:10,801 --> 00:17:12,934
You like to dance?
344
00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:14,100
I hate to dance.
345
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,067
But it's--what I hate--
modern dances.
346
00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:21,501
You know, the modern dance,
they're all so...
347
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,100
icky.
348
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,100
Well put.
349
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,734
I think they are too.
350
00:17:26,734 --> 00:17:29,234
Really? You're
the first girl I ever met
351
00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:31,601
who doesn't like
the modern dances. That's terrific.
352
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,901
Yeah, well,
I like ballroom dancing.
353
00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:35,601
I like the tango
and the foxtrot--
354
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:37,033
Yeah, I--
that's what I like.
355
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:38,701
I like those--
I like that, too.
356
00:17:38,701 --> 00:17:40,567
The boys I know
can't dance like that.
357
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,000
Well, I can dance
like that.
358
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,200
That's far-out.
359
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,300
Where'd you ever learn
ballroom dancing?
360
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,868
Oh, my father
taught me.
361
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,868
Really? Sounds
like a great guy.
362
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,667
Yeah, you'd love him.
363
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,868
Well, uh...
364
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,334
What d'you say,
Ginger?
365
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,634
Hehe.
366
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,868
I'd love to, Fred.
367
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:16,300
♪ Heaven ♪
368
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,534
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
369
00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:22,534
♪ And my heart beats so
that I can hardly speak ♪
370
00:18:23,901 --> 00:18:28,334
♪ And I seem to find
the happiness I seek ♪
371
00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:33,567
♪ When we're out together
dancing... chest to cheek ♪
372
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,400
Very good!
That's very nice.
373
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:45,868
You're
a very good dancer.
374
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:47,534
And you're
a big dipper.
375
00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:54,667
Uh...thanks
for the dance.
376
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,400
It was nice
meeting you.
377
00:18:58,801 --> 00:19:01,133
"To all, to each,
a fair good night."
378
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:04,934
"And pleasing dreams
and slumbers light."
379
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,100
You know that poem?
That's Sir Walter Scott--
380
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:08,367
- "Marmion."
- That's my favorite poem!
381
00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:10,067
- It's mine too!
- Really?
382
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,434
Yeah.
383
00:19:43,968 --> 00:19:45,868
- What are you doing?
- Wh-what are you doing?
384
00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:47,234
I mean what
are you doing?!
385
00:19:47,234 --> 00:19:49,334
Well, I was just doing
what I usually do
386
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,734
when I do what we did!
387
00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:53,200
Does that mean
you have a routine?
388
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,100
No! No, I was just
doing what a person does.
389
00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,267
Well, this person doesn't.
390
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:05,467
Never?
391
00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:07,667
No. Never.
392
00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:11,901
You mean you're a--
393
00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:14,167
Yes.
394
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:16,234
I am.
395
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,567
I don't think I ever
met one of them before.
396
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,267
Is something
the matter?
397
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,868
D'you have
anything to eat?
398
00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:34,167
Oh, yeah, sure.
399
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,634
Come on in the kitchen
and I'll fix you something.
400
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:37,901
Great.
401
00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:42,167
I'll see what we have
in our refrigerator.
402
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:44,400
We got some
whole-wheat bread here,
403
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,501
and, uh,
Daddy's got some...
404
00:20:48,901 --> 00:20:50,167
frankfurters,
405
00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,767
and there's some...
406
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,067
baking soda.
407
00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:01,033
And there's some
Velveeta cheese.
408
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:04,167
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
409
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,934
Wh-what's the matter?
410
00:21:05,934 --> 00:21:08,467
D--uh, don't
you like me?
411
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,033
Oh, I do.
412
00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:13,100
That's just the trouble--
I'm so confused.
413
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,267
See, part of me wants to,
414
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:19,234
but part of me doesn't.
415
00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:22,701
Which part wants to?
416
00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:32,067
- I'm sorry!
- Oh, so am I.
417
00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,000
Uh, but I
understand.
418
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,534
- Do you?
- Yes, I do.
419
00:21:37,534 --> 00:21:38,467
Oh!
420
00:21:40,501 --> 00:21:42,501
But not completely.
421
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,133
What do you like me for,
for me or for my body?
422
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:47,434
Do I have a choice?
423
00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:49,701
Uh, I mean,
it's a combination.
424
00:21:49,701 --> 00:21:51,100
It's a combination.
425
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:52,133
Oh.
426
00:21:56,033 --> 00:21:57,534
- Mmm.
- Mm-mmm.
427
00:22:03,868 --> 00:22:05,133
Mm, that's enough!
428
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:06,601
That's enough?!
429
00:22:06,601 --> 00:22:08,534
That's not enough!
430
00:22:08,534 --> 00:22:10,000
In an hour,
it'll be enough.
431
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,434
Get up,
get up, get up!
432
00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:12,834
Get up, okay.
I'll get up.
433
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,367
I'll get up,
I'll get up.
434
00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,901
Give me a minute,
I'll get up.
435
00:22:16,901 --> 00:22:19,234
Just a second,
okay?
436
00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:20,200
All right.
437
00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:23,234
All right.
438
00:22:25,501 --> 00:22:26,901
Are you all right?
439
00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:28,567
I'm fine, I'm fine.
440
00:22:28,567 --> 00:22:30,701
I'm just fine.
I'm okay.
441
00:22:30,701 --> 00:22:33,567
Just had a little cramp
in my leg, that's all.
442
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,701
Eh, it's better now.
443
00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:39,801
It's much better now.
444
00:22:39,801 --> 00:22:42,601
I just want you
to understand.
445
00:22:42,601 --> 00:22:44,701
This is only
our first date.
446
00:22:44,701 --> 00:22:46,634
I understand, I understand
it's our first date.
447
00:22:46,634 --> 00:22:48,300
I understand
that a girl like you
448
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,701
shouldn't be doing things
like this on a first date.
449
00:22:50,701 --> 00:22:52,000
- No, I shouldn't.
- I understand.
450
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,901
So, good night.
451
00:22:54,901 --> 00:22:56,267
Good night?
452
00:22:56,267 --> 00:22:58,400
Gloria, I really--
I think I'd better go.
453
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,400
Oh, well, uh--
454
00:23:02,067 --> 00:23:04,100
Oh, good night.
455
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:06,968
Hi, Gloria, here I am
for our second date.
456
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,167
What? What's the matter?
457
00:23:09,167 --> 00:23:10,634
Why not? Come on!
458
00:23:10,634 --> 00:23:11,868
It's the second date!
459
00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:15,000
You said two dates.
Gloria, come on!
460
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,767
...oughta be
a different night,
461
00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:19,234
so he chases me
into the kitchen,
462
00:23:19,234 --> 00:23:20,901
- and then--
- Oh, it was great.
463
00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:22,434
It was great.
464
00:23:24,067 --> 00:23:26,000
[GIGGLING] Oh!
465
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,467
You get a little thrill
outta that.
466
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:36,267
What about you two?
467
00:23:36,267 --> 00:23:38,000
What happened
on your first date?
468
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,367
Oh, make believe
you don't hear that.
469
00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:41,601
Oh, I'll
never forget!
470
00:23:41,601 --> 00:23:42,901
Try, you know?
471
00:23:42,901 --> 00:23:45,133
I was at the Puritan Maid
Ice Cream Parlor.
472
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,200
Don't make it
a long story, will ya?
473
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,367
Me and my cousin Maude--
474
00:23:49,367 --> 00:23:51,968
Maude?!
475
00:23:51,968 --> 00:23:54,234
We was having one
of their specials.
476
00:23:54,234 --> 00:23:56,300
It was called
a Steamboat.
477
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,133
Oh, it was
so delicious!
478
00:23:58,133 --> 00:24:00,267
Five different flavors!
479
00:24:00,267 --> 00:24:02,501
Anyway, Archie
was sitting
480
00:24:02,501 --> 00:24:03,667
at another table
481
00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,033
with that fella,
Jefferson Pratt,
482
00:24:06,033 --> 00:24:07,701
remember him?
483
00:24:07,701 --> 00:24:12,133
Well, anyway,
Archie was trying to get my attention,
484
00:24:12,133 --> 00:24:15,367
so first he put
two straws in his nose
485
00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:16,934
like a walrus...
486
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:24,334
[APPLAUSE]
487
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,734
All in the Family
was recorded on tape
488
00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:46,300
before a live audience.
489
00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:50,900
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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