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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:07,772
♪ Songs that made
the hit parade ♪
3
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,809
♪ Guys like us
we had it made ♪
4
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,311
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ And you knew
where you were then ♪
6
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:19,918
♪ Girls were girls
and men were men ♪
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:25,089
♪ Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:28,226
♪ Didn't need
no welfare state ♪
9
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,329
♪ Everybody pulled
his weight ♪
10
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:35,633
♪ Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great ♪
11
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:41,239
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:47,078
♪ ....birthday to you ♪
13
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,781
[SINGING OFF-KEY]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
14
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,417
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
15
00:00:53,419 --> 00:00:57,923
[OFF-KEY SINGING
CONTINUES]
16
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,725
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
17
00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:06,030
And now...
18
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:10,468
the official poet
of the Sunshine Home,
19
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,772
Mr. Sol Kleeger,
has composed a poem
20
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,273
for our birthday girl.
21
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,308
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
22
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,244
And he's gonna recite it.
23
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,746
You wanna stand up,
Mr. Kleeger?
24
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,848
To say a poem,
you have to stand.
25
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,151
Oh, boy.
26
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,618
[LAUGHING]
27
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,154
That's good enough.
28
00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:32,423
To Martha.
29
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:36,227
I love you for
your charming face.
30
00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:38,863
Yeah?
31
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,132
Your wit and your maturity.
32
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,467
Yeah.
33
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:45,537
But most of all,
I love you for...
34
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:46,537
Yeah?
35
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:48,839
Your check from
Social Security.
36
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:57,382
How can I thank you, Sol?
37
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,751
We'll think of
something later...
38
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:00,719
in my room.
39
00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:07,492
Come on. It's time
to blow out your candles.
40
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:16,267
Well, that's very good.
You almost blew one out.
41
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,235
Let's all help.
42
00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,505
One, two, three, blow!
43
00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:30,815
Happy birthday,
Aunt Martha.
44
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,217
I just want everybody to know
45
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,185
that I have
the greatest little aunt
46
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,620
this side of Chicago.
47
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,688
As a matter of fact,
I attribute my success
48
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:40,158
to a lesson
Aunt Martha taught me:
49
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,460
"The early bird
catches the worm."
50
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,062
Which is good for
the early bird,
51
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:46,664
but not so good
for the early worm.
52
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,100
He always
makes me laugh.
53
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,902
[ALL LAUGHING]
54
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,403
[WHEEZING INTAKE OF BREATH]
55
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,940
Look at him--I never saw
such a funny face.
56
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:59,377
I don't think
it's a funny face.
57
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:02,146
What's the matter,
Mr. Martin?
58
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,749
Why are you holding
your chest?
59
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,350
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
60
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,551
MARTHA:
What's happening?
61
00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:09,453
I think he's having
a heart attack.
62
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,522
Charlie? Charlie!
63
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,657
SOL: Easy.
64
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,828
I can't hear
him breathing.
65
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:21,332
He ain't got
no pulse!
66
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:26,037
Mrs. Freedman, you better
call police emergency.
67
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,706
The number is 9-1-1.
68
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,275
You need
a dime, darling?
69
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,777
What are you
gonna do, Mrs. Bunker?
70
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,379
Do something!
71
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,947
I guess I'll do my CPR.
72
00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:39,684
The tip of the breastbone.
73
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,053
Two inches with...
74
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,455
I'm sorry, Mr. Martin.
75
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,523
MARTHA:
Don't hurt him!
76
00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,925
WOMAN: Mrs. Bunker knows
what she's doing!
77
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:56,667
One, two, three,
four, five...
78
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,269
What she say?
79
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,470
What did she say?
80
00:03:59,472 --> 00:04:00,538
She's counting.
81
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,640
Why is she counting?
82
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,008
Shut up--that's why!
83
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:10,948
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
84
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:12,116
Sunshine Home.
85
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:15,052
Emergency.
A heart attack.
86
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,955
Yes, somebody's
working on him.
87
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:20,491
Come in a hurry, please.
88
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,259
Hurry!
89
00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:24,995
[EDITH CONTINUES
COUNTING]
90
00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,465
...16, I mean 15.
91
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,434
The nurse is
out to lunch.
92
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,102
The rescue squad
is on the way.
93
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,505
SOL: It's lucky it's only
three minutes from here.
94
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,106
His chest is
beginning to move!
95
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,741
Is he breathing?
96
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,044
He's gonna be
all right, Martha. He's gonna be fine.
97
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,546
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
98
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,881
All his color's
coming back.
99
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,948
[EVERYONE EXCLAIMING
HAPPILY]
100
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,349
SOL: He's moving!
101
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:48,052
He's breathing!
You did it, Mrs. Bunker.
102
00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,621
You're a hero!
103
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,456
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
104
00:04:55,861 --> 00:04:57,862
Mr. Kleeger!
105
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,331
Please, please,
take it easy, Mr. Kleeger.
106
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,734
Oh, my goodness.
107
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:06,638
One heart attack
a day is enough!
108
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,513
♪ It's me again ♪
109
00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:19,817
♪ Independent me
free again ♪
110
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,053
♪ Time to
call up all the crowd ♪
111
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,621
♪ Time to shout out loud ♪
112
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,791
♪ Time to have a party ♪
113
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:31,062
Hey, Edith, I'm home.
114
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,898
Come on out. I got a terrific
story to tell you,
115
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,068
so open up a can of beer there
and get the kisses over with.
116
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,871
Come and get it, papi!
117
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,306
[GROANING]
118
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,341
Are you cookin' tonight?
119
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,477
Yes, you lucky devil.
120
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,179
We gonna have chicken.
121
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,549
Stuffed with bananas
and dynamite again?
122
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,751
No stuffed.
123
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,519
We're gonna have rice
with chicken breast.
124
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,756
Oh, don't say that, huh?
125
00:05:58,758 --> 00:05:59,924
Don't say what?
126
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,726
Breasts.
127
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:06,798
Never say them two words
in mixed company, see.
128
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,199
It ain't delicate.
129
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,169
Oh. So what did you
call these?
130
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,704
Don't do that!
131
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:19,344
If we gotta talk about that,
anything from here up
132
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,179
is the chest,
you know, the chest.
133
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,549
Oh, okay. So tonight
we gonna have chicken chest with "chiss."
134
00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:29,220
I'm only tryin' to help you.
135
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:30,721
Can you say cheese?
136
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,890
Crack your mouth
to the walls.
137
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,124
Can you say cheese?
138
00:06:34,126 --> 00:06:36,360
Chiss. Chiss.
139
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,896
That's a hopeless case.
140
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,298
All right, I'll take
whatever you got.
141
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,900
Chicken with the chiss.
142
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,469
Look what I got
for you!
143
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,603
Gimme that.
Just say "pliss."
144
00:06:46,905 --> 00:06:48,606
How about "please"?
145
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,374
Ah, it's close enough.
146
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:51,809
Where's Edith?
147
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,779
Some lady had
her birthday at the Sunshine Home.
148
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,315
Oh, my God, every time
she comes home from that joint,
149
00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:02,019
she smells like
rubber stockings in the morning.
150
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:06,791
And I had this very funny story
I was dying to tell her.
151
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,726
Don't die, don't die.
Tell me.
152
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,595
Tell you, huh?
153
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,896
All right.
154
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,098
Well, this guy Schiff
is my boss, see?
155
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,301
I hate him.
156
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:19,571
And he come in today wearing
a brand-new cheap toup, see?
157
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,638
What's a toup?
158
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,741
It's a thing a guy wears
on his head.
159
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,309
Oh, like a "hot"?
160
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:28,246
Not a hot; a hat. Hat.
161
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,881
I don't give a damn
about that.
162
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,315
It's got nothing to do
with the story.
163
00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:33,417
I'm talking about--a thing
a baldy guy would wear
164
00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:36,053
Oh! You're talking
about a wig.
165
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,689
All right, wig.
166
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,156
Let me get on
with the thing, huh?
167
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,125
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Teresa.
168
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,861
I'm right in the middle
of a story here, little girl.
169
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:45,029
Oh, yeah? What about?
170
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,564
It's about my boss, see...
171
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,767
Teresa, I got all the things
at the store that you wanted me to get.
172
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,203
I got the garlic
and the oregano.
173
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,838
And I got the "arros."
Arroz.
174
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,439
And chorizo.
Chorizo.
175
00:07:55,441 --> 00:08:00,144
Uvas, manzana, tapas,
176
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,880
and naranjas!Naranjas!
177
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,717
Olé! Olé!
178
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,618
You've got enough
Spanish-Persian in there
179
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:11,022
to give the trots
to an armored division.
180
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,424
I'm sorry, Daddy.
What's your story about?
181
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,359
Oh well, it ain't much.
182
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,462
Just the boss come in
with a cheap toup today,
183
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:20,064
and it was hot in the office
so he took it off,
184
00:08:20,066 --> 00:08:22,567
put it on the tie stand;
the office cat seen it,
185
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:25,736
jumped upon it, dug a hole
in it, and wet in it.
186
00:08:27,205 --> 00:08:28,873
That's disgusting!
187
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:33,244
If it wasn't disgusting,
it wouldn't be funny.
188
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,678
[PHONE RINGS]
189
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,680
Tell 'em to go to hell.
190
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:37,982
Hello.
191
00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,984
No, Mrs. Bunker isn't here
right now.
192
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:41,719
Who's calling?
193
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,320
Kate Korman?
194
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:46,724
Oh! Oh, you mean...
195
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:48,826
Kate Korman?!
196
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,895
Oh, my!
197
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,964
What do you want
Mother for?
198
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,767
She did?
199
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,068
What'd your mother do?
200
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,236
What man?
201
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,436
A man?
202
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,272
Where did it happen?
203
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:04,008
What the hell did
Edith do with a man?
204
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,645
Don't give me no
Puerto Rican answer to that.
205
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,682
Oh, well. Oh, my, Miss Korman.
206
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,051
That's simply fantastic,
isn't it?
207
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,287
Yes. Yes, that would
be wonderful!
208
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,888
I'm sure Mother
would be delighted to see you.
209
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,359
We all would be
delighted to see you.
210
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,760
Yes, please,
do come right over.
211
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,662
We would be so honored.
212
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,464
Oh. Ha ha!
213
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,232
You're welcome, Miss Korman.
214
00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,302
Oh, good-bye.
215
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:32,337
Bye-bye.
216
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,839
[SHRIEKS EXCITEDLY]
217
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,942
Oh, shut up there, will you?!
218
00:09:37,944 --> 00:09:42,713
Who were you talking to there
in the Jackie Manassas voice?
219
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,515
Daddy, it was
Miss Kate Korman!
220
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,050
Where do I know that name?
221
00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,885
You know her;
she's on the evening news.
222
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:49,987
Oh, geez, that Kate Korman!
223
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,989
Geez, I hate that dame!
224
00:09:53,691 --> 00:09:56,360
That's the dame I never watch
every night.
225
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:57,661
What's the matter with her?
226
00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:01,899
Oh, geez, I can't stand
them lady newscasters.
227
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,535
They ain't got
the voice for it, ya know?
228
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:07,438
A woman's got a voice for
saying things like,
229
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,006
"Would you like a piece
of lemon meringue pie?"
230
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:12,443
or, "Yes, I will have
this waltz with you,"
231
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,878
or something
like that, ya see.
232
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:17,548
But for the news, when
I'm looking at that last ten,
233
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,484
twelve minutes of tragedies
there every night,
234
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,886
I want somebody there
235
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:23,721
[GRUFF VOICE]
with a voice like a ghost.
236
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:26,624
They're all men
make the disasters;
237
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,292
let men report them.
238
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,395
Don't hit your father!
239
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,599
I think Kate Korman
is terrific.
240
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:36,901
Oh, get outta here.
241
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,003
Anyway, you know why
she called here?
242
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,437
She wants Mrs. Bunker
on her show?
243
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:41,538
Yes!
244
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:42,606
[PIERCING SHRIEK]
245
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,575
Don't scream.
246
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,011
It goes through my head
like a nail.
247
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,513
She wants Ma
on the evening news tonight
248
00:10:49,515 --> 00:10:50,948
as the Citizen
of the Week!
249
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,584
Ah, geez.
Hey, did I tell youse
250
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,653
Hollywood wants me to play
Rudy Valentino?
251
00:10:56,655 --> 00:10:59,190
Daddy, you don't understand.
252
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,959
Ma saved someone's life
today at the Sunshine Home!
253
00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,395
Don't be doin'
these things to me. Get off me there!
254
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,097
Saved somebody's life.
255
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,000
What did she do, throw herself
in the way of a runaway wheelchair?
256
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,868
No!
257
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,270
Ma!
258
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,372
You won't believe
what happened to me...
259
00:11:15,374 --> 00:11:18,375
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
260
00:11:18,377 --> 00:11:21,278
What a day, what a day.
261
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,380
She plops herself
down on my chair.
262
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:27,551
We heard all about it
because Kate Korman called,
263
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:31,823
and she wants you
as Citizen of the Week on her television show tonight.
264
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,825
Me on television?
What for?
265
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,659
Because you saved
somebody's life.
266
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,361
Yeah, Ma,
give us the details.
267
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,263
Will you get outta
my chair?!
268
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,432
I'll sit here.
269
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,400
So, Ma, give us
the details.
270
00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,669
Who is this guy
whose life you saved?
271
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,872
Mrs. Linfoot's
nephew
272
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,474
had a heart attack--
273
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:52,176
I feel like
I'm on a subway.
274
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:56,680
...CPR and he started
breathing again.
275
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:57,881
GLORIA:
CPR?
276
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,318
That's cardiopulmonary
resuscitation.
277
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,553
She can handle that,
and she can't say "cheese."
278
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:12,229
Archie, what are you
doin' all the way back here?
279
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,165
Where would the three
of youse like me--
280
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,232
up in the terlet?
281
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,500
[HORN HONKS]
282
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,335
I hear something
out there!
283
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:19,737
That's not them
already, is it?
284
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,505
What are they
runnin' over there?
285
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,142
It's a CBS truck,
and it's Kate Korman!
286
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,809
What is goin' on?
287
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:28,445
Don't be--
this is crazy!
288
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,648
What is goin'
on here?
289
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,551
Let me see what in the hell's
goin' on there.
290
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,019
There's the truck out there
with the big eye.
291
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,388
[DOORBELL RINGS]
292
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,656
[ALL CLAMORING]
293
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:41,859
Please, Daddy,
I wanna answer it!
294
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,195
Get back!
295
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,397
Shut up, all of youse!
296
00:12:50,635 --> 00:12:53,937
Oh, hi there.
297
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,873
Hello. I'm Kate Korman.
298
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,508
Oh, you didn't need
to tell me.
299
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,843
Your face
is a household word.
300
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,713
Come in and welcome
to the Bunker home--
301
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,248
the only home
on the block
302
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,549
with a paid-up
mortgage.
303
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,184
Which of you ladies
is Mrs. Bunker?
304
00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:09,686
She's right
over there.
305
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,122
That's me.
306
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,956
You look just like
you look on TV.
307
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,325
Hi.
308
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,127
This is my daughter
Gloria Stivic.
309
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,196
Yeah, it's my daughter too.
Get outta here.
310
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,964
Nice to meet you.
311
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,166
This is Teresa Betancourt.
312
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,768
Yeah, no relation
whatsoever.
313
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,737
I got lucky.
314
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,439
How do you do?
315
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,241
And this is
my husband--
316
00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:32,309
It's nice to
meet you all. Do you mind?
317
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,611
Mrs. Bunker, many
congratulations
318
00:13:34,613 --> 00:13:36,280
on your fast
thinking today.
319
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,849
You're a natural
for my program "Citizen of the Week."
320
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,618
We'll do a live interview
here in your living room
321
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:42,920
on the 7:00 news.
322
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,621
Oh, my--
323
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,258
But I don't have
nothin' to wear.
324
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,593
What you're wearing
is just fine.
325
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,295
I tell you what.
326
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,931
I got a nice kind of
a Disney World shirt.
327
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:55,099
Would that be too much?
328
00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,167
Perfect for Disney World.
329
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,869
Have a good time there.
330
00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:02,606
Mrs. Bunker,
let's go over here and sit down, shall we?
331
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,775
I'll ask you
a few questions.
332
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,310
You probably wanna know a lot
about the neighborhood--
333
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:07,545
Oh, gee!
334
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,012
Daddy!
335
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,614
Daddy!
Get outta there!
336
00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:19,490
Your full name is
Mrs. Edith Bunker.
337
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,758
That's right.
338
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,393
Well, long as
you're writin' there,
339
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,128
you probably want
the husband's name, which is me.
340
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,930
Oh, I've got your name.
341
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,465
You're Mr. Edith Bunker.
342
00:14:47,285 --> 00:14:49,553
MAN:
We're gonna give that equipment a final check,
343
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,822
make sure everything
is working fine, okay?
344
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,524
[CHATTER]
345
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,360
Let's get this show
on the road.
346
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:57,928
Is everyone ready
for rehearsal?
347
00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,162
Por favor?
348
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:01,231
Can we get a level
on Mrs. Bunker here?
349
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,200
What are you doing?!
350
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:05,736
That's a microphone,
Mrs. Bunker.
351
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:08,272
Just say something,
anything that comes into your mind.
352
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:10,474
I smell burnt chicken.
353
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,143
That's fine.
354
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:14,578
No, it ain't.
355
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,047
That's a chicken
burning in the kitchen.
356
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:18,982
Gloria! Teresa!
357
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,552
Chicken chest with chiss! Ohh!
358
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,986
Now, you know,
359
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:26,190
I think you would
look more important if you sat over here.
360
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,525
But this is
my husband's chair.
361
00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:30,160
Who cares?
362
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:32,697
Rosemary,
I'll sit over here.
363
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,999
Now, I will be
asking you questions,
364
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:37,835
and you'll describe
colorfully and vividly
365
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,437
how you saved
that man's life.
366
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:43,074
Oh, I don't how
to do that.
367
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:46,043
Well, with Edith
sitting in this chair--
368
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:48,979
it's okay, but, uh,
where do you want me, then?
369
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,615
It doesn't matter.
The camera won't see you.
370
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,585
Oh. Well, uh, if the camera
don't see me,
371
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,553
then you ain't
gonna get my picture.
372
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,722
Not if I'm careful.
373
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:03,594
Oh, Miss Korman,
can't Archie be here with me?
374
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,796
When Mr. Bunker
accomplishes something newsworthy,
375
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,065
we'll dedicate
a program to him.
376
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:11,868
Oh, well, he was
in World War II.
377
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:15,506
Yeah, he got
a Good Conduct medal
378
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,674
and a Purple Heart.
379
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:20,110
He's still got
some shrapnel in him,
380
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:22,946
but he can't show you
where it is.
381
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:24,915
Well, the-the reason for--
382
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,783
I got the wound
over in Italy,
383
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,485
bending over
to tie my shoe--
384
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,154
Very interesting,
385
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,989
but we have only
20 minutes till we're on the air.
386
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,390
Will you please
go over there,
387
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,426
Oh, yeah, sure.
way over there, while we rehearse?
388
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,626
Here. Here. Read this.
389
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,228
Okay, yes, thank you
very much.
390
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,197
Just anything to help at all.
391
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,465
Uh, hey there.
392
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,768
I had a pair of them,
they was in the closet,
393
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,304
and the mice ate 'em,
you know?
394
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:52,542
Let's see, we got CPR
is being taught by the American Heart Association,
395
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:56,213
Red Cross, and fire department
rescue squads across the nation.
396
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:59,984
CPR must be done within
the first four minutes,
397
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,751
that's the difference
between livin' and dyin'.
398
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:03,520
You gettin' that in there?
399
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,756
Mr. Bunker,
would you mind reading that to yourself?
400
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:07,091
We're trying to rehearse.
401
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,959
I was trying to be heard.
Now, first I will say
402
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,661
"Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
403
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,228
welcome to
Citizen of the Week,"
404
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:15,265
and then I will
introduce you, and you can say hello.
405
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,167
Oh! Can I?
406
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,302
Yes, and then
I'll say something else,
407
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,805
like "Because of
your skill and alertness,
408
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:25,175
a man walks the good earth
breathing God's clean air..."
409
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:28,845
Not if he's walking
around New York, he ain't.
410
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:31,782
Now, let's set the scene
the way we'll do it.
411
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,951
A man has collapsed.
412
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,120
He stopped breathing.
413
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:39,222
His heart has ceased
to function.
414
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,560
Oh, my! And then
what happened?
415
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,634
I was talking about
Mr. Martin.
416
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,236
Oh!!
417
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,172
At the Sunshine Home.
418
00:17:55,174 --> 00:18:00,377
Well, see, I figured that
he was havin' a heart attack,
419
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,647
and I had some training
in CPR.
420
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,718
That's cardiopulmonary
resuscitation.
421
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,021
It was on that TV show
60 Minutes once.
422
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:12,356
We seen it.
423
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:15,659
We watch all of them
high-class educational shows
424
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,863
right through, no matter
how exhausted we get.
425
00:18:21,499 --> 00:18:23,901
Tell me, Mrs. Bunker,
did you panic?
426
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:27,905
Oh, no, no.
There wasn't time.
427
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,472
Oh...
428
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:33,010
See, they teach you
that the first thing you gotta do
429
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:36,846
is to force air into
the person's lungs.
430
00:18:36,848 --> 00:18:40,517
Hey, Edith really scores
on that forcin' air.
431
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:43,187
You know, at our grandson Joey's
birthday party,
432
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,522
she blowed up 50 balloons.
433
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,391
She's probably got
enough air in her
434
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:51,094
to blow a sailboat
right through the Panama Canal.
435
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:52,829
[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]
436
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,197
Yeah. See, he knows.
437
00:18:54,199 --> 00:18:55,632
Sure. Right here.
438
00:18:57,168 --> 00:19:00,470
Then, I will present you
with the award,
439
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,040
and I'll explain
to the audience
440
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:05,642
the CPR technique
and how it's used.
441
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:09,379
Yeah. Oh, yeah, and
everybody can learn it.
442
00:19:09,381 --> 00:19:12,782
Never do what they done
over my lodge one night.
443
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:15,752
A guy was there,
he passed out at the bar.
444
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:19,723
Instead of usin' that CPR,
they threw a bucket of water on him, see,
445
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:21,491
and the man drownded.
446
00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,630
And he was the chairman
of the dance committee.
447
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:29,900
[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]
448
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:32,402
A man died,
and you're laughin' here?
449
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,704
Mr. Bunker,
we only have 15 minutes before we go on the air.
450
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:38,141
If you don't get lost,
your wife will never get on this program.
451
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:42,279
I was only hangin' around
'cause I thought at a certain point there,
452
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,647
you was gonna bring me in
to the television--
453
00:19:44,649 --> 00:19:46,250
I told you, no.
454
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:49,119
You wanna go on television,
I'll get you a chicken costume
455
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,221
and put you on
Let's Make A Deal!
456
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,891
Is she sore at something?
457
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:57,561
Miss Korman, Archie
didn't mean nothin'.
458
00:19:57,563 --> 00:19:59,063
He was just
tryin' to help.
459
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,732
Help?! He's done nothing
but get in the way!
460
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,500
Say that again.
461
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:05,635
You are in the way!
462
00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,538
You didn't have
to tell me twice.
463
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,273
I understood
the first time.
464
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,374
Okay, that's it!
465
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,976
I'm in the way!
466
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:15,145
Well, I'll get
the hell outta here and go down to Kelsey's.
467
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,413
Oh, no!
Oh, yeah!
468
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:17,881
Please don't
do that.
469
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,849
No, I don't wanna
stick around here.
470
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,685
Let Wanda Cronkite
over there...
471
00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:24,187
I won't!
472
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:27,224
Before I leave, I'll say
one more thing.
473
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,960
I would like to give you
a little bit of technical advice
474
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,461
that might help you
in your career, lady.
475
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,130
And what's that?
476
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,966
Zip up your fly.
477
00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,576
Good evening,ladies and gentlemen.
478
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,611
Welcome toCitizen of the Week.
479
00:20:48,613 --> 00:20:51,848
Seated by my sideis Mrs. Edith Bunker
480
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,384
of Astoria,a courageous lady
481
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:59,189
who escaped from the kitcheninto the outer world
482
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:02,526
and literally breathed lifeinto the body of a man
483
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,194
on the brink of death.
484
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,796
Hey, Arch,
Kate Korman's doing a show at your house,
485
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,065
and you ain't there?
486
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,966
What do I wanna
be there for?
487
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,601
Who needs that?
488
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:12,869
That's a woman's show.
489
00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:15,205
They started rehearsin' that,
I grabbed my hat.
490
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,207
They through
ya out, huh?
491
00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:22,246
Edith Bunker,this is your moment.
492
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,815
Say helloto a grateful public.
493
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,449
Hello.
494
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:31,388
Oh, hi, Gloria and Mike.
495
00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,556
That's my daughterand son-in-law.
496
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:35,625
What about our little grandson?
497
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,262
Oh, and hi, little Joey.
498
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,030
That's our littlegrandson.
499
00:21:41,032 --> 00:21:42,266
Yeah, here I am.
500
00:21:42,268 --> 00:21:44,601
Your grandma'sin your TV.
501
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:52,309
Oh, but don't touchthe wires, especiallyif you're wet.
502
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:56,780
Kid's never dry.
503
00:21:56,782 --> 00:22:00,083
Hey, Edith's terrific
on the tube!
504
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:03,386
How you gonna act
with a big-shot wife in the house?
505
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:04,621
How the hell do I know?
506
00:22:04,623 --> 00:22:06,590
Maybe I'll wear
a tie to bed.
507
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:08,658
Pipe down.
508
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,627
Korman's gonna give Edith
an award.
509
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:13,596
And so, this is for you,Edith Bunker,
510
00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:15,698
Citizen of the Week.
511
00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:18,868
Oh, thank you.
512
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:21,771
Oh, my, that's beautiful!
513
00:22:24,375 --> 00:22:29,546
I wanna say that I couldnever have done it alone,
514
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:34,684
so I'd like to thankMr. Martin for havin'a heart attack.
515
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:42,592
Oh, and all the other peopleat the Sunshine Home.
516
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:47,431
And especially my husband,Archie Bunker.
517
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:50,033
Hey, Archie,
she's talkin' about you!
518
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,502
Shut up!
Let the woman talk.
519
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:56,840
'Cause he's the real heroin the family,
520
00:22:56,842 --> 00:23:00,477
'cause if I wasn't marriedto a man like that,
521
00:23:00,479 --> 00:23:03,046
who puts up with megoin' out to work,
522
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,515
I wouldn't have been atthe Sunshine Home
523
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:07,617
where I could've savedsomebody's life.
524
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:10,920
Very true.
I always give her total freedom.
525
00:23:13,324 --> 00:23:17,561
I hope Archie's watchin'with his pals
526
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:19,396
at Kelsey's Bar,
527
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:24,100
and I want him to knowthat I love him,
528
00:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,837
and this is for you, Archie.
529
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:39,216
She didn't have to do that
in front of the world.
530
00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:43,887
I will admit one thing though.
531
00:23:43,889 --> 00:23:48,192
She does take a beautiful
picture on the television.
532
00:24:13,884 --> 00:24:16,386
♪
533
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,855
All in the Family
was recorded on tape
534
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:20,724
before a live audience.
535
00:24:20,774 --> 00:24:25,324
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