All language subtitles for All In the Family s07e08 Beverly Rides Again.eng

♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪

♪ Songs that made
the hit parade ♪

♪ Guys like us
we had it made ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ And you knew
where you were then ♪

♪ Girls were girls
and men were men ♪

♪ Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again ♪

♪ Didn't need
no welfare state ♪

♪ Everybody pulled
his weight ♪

♪ Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

I'll just scatter
a few of these raisins around in here.

Yeah, yeah.

They look like
the real thing, don't they?

Yeah, hey, if I
fell for this gag,

I can't wait to see how
Bunker's gonna fall for it.

Are you kiddin'?
Archie's Old Faithful.

Remember the time
he fell asleep in here

watchin' the ballgame,

and I cemented
his shoes to the floor?

Yeah, and the time you put
the plastic vomit in his hat

he got real mad at you.

Yeah, and then when you put
the real spaghetti in his hat,

and he thought it was fake,
and he put it on?

Hey, Pinky,
I gotta hand it to ya.

When it comes
to practical jokes,

you're a regular genius.

Ah, half the credit
goes to Bunker.

He's such a sap!

All I have to do is tell him
there's a mongoose in here,

and his curiosity
will get at him, huh?

And I'll keep talkin',

and wait till his face
gets closer and closer.

When he gets his schnozz
right down there to the cage...

Oh!

Hey, Bunker's coming.
He just turned the corner.

Okay, you guys,
you know what to do?

Yeah.

Hi there, Harry.

Oh, hi, Arch,
how ya doing?

Hey, Mr. Bunker.

Hey, Pinky's just telling us

about the fight
at the Garden last night.

Come on over.
Yeah, give me a beer, huh?

Yeah, come on, Arch,
sit down right here.

Oh, hey, what, do you think
I was born yesterday?

Sit there.

What, you got the chair
wired or somethin'?

Or maybe you got some glue
spread on the seat there?

What's the matter
with you, Bunker,

don't you trust me?

Oh, oh, oh, jeez.

Here, take my chair.
I'll sit here.

Oh, all right.
Your chair?

I'll sit down. Go ahead.

So anyway, I figure
I had my bet won, Yeah.

When Sugar Jackson
pops up like a yo-yo

at the count of eight.

What is this "danger" here?

I'm sorry, Arch,
that's mine.

What is it?
It's nothin'. It's a mongoose.

Mozzarella moves in
for the kill.

Sugar Jackson surprises him
with a left uppercut.

It says--Yeah, look at that,
"mongoose."

Says "mongoose" right on it.

Yeah, that's what it is,
so don't touch it.

It's sleeping.
Mongooses don't like

to be bothered
when they're sleeping.

Well, what are you
gonna do with it?

I bought it for
a birthday gift for my girlfriend Doris.

Oh, Doris, uh,
she likes birds, huh?

Arch, a mongoose
ain't a bird.

It's a rare, exotic animal.

It eats snakes.

And it's real ferocious.

Yeah,
so don't touch it.

Now, Mozzarella
is down, see,

and the referee is counti''
"six, seven, eight."

I mean, I figured he could
have counted to 6,000. Yeah.

Wouldn't have made
any difference.

Mozzarella's
not getting up, know what I mean?

You ain't got
no mongoose in there.

Okay, Arch,
there's nothing in there.

All I see
is some doo-doos.

Those are droppings, Arch,

rare mongoose droppings.

So, Mozzarella
surprises me.

Just my luck,
he staggers to his feet,

the bell rings, and--

What the hell does
a mongoose look like, anyway?

It's a long, skinny thing.

It looks like a rat
in a mink coat.

With fangs.

Oh, you guys seen it, huh?

Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah.

There's only
a couple dozen of them in the world,

and they're very temperamental
and high strung,

so don't
fiddle around with it.

So how did you
get one? An army buddy of mine

sent it to me from Bombay.

What do you mean Bombay?

Says on here "India."

Well, that's where Bombay is,
Arch, it's in India.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

He trains them
to fight cobras,

and the mongooses
always win.

Oh, wait a minute,

didn't I see that once
in an old Frank Buck picture?

Yeah, Bring 'Em Back Alive.

Yeah, little fast things
that run around, yeah.

I never seen a real,
live one there.

Let's have a look at it.
Yeah, let's see it again.

Come on, Pinky,
I wanna look at it, too. No, it's very dangerous.

What do you mean,
dangerous?

But Arch
ain't seen it yet.

[ALL ARGUING]

All right, all right.

What, is he back here
someplace?

That's where
he's sleeping.

Now, just look,
and listen to me.

Don't touch it
with your fingers.

I ain't touchin'
nothin' there.

You gotta get in real close
to see it, see?

I'll just tap this box
and wake him up.

Now, watch closely,
because he moves very fast.

[TAPS]

Aah!

It got me in the neck!

Got him
in the neck.

Which end gotcha, Arch?

Get it out of here!

Arch, you should have
seen your face!

Ah, what the hell
are ya doin'?

Nearly scared the life
out of me over there.

Oh, Bunker, where's
your sense of humor?

What do you mean,
humor?

That ain't funny,
that's dangerous there.

I'm sorry, Arch.

Ah, you ought
to be sorry.

I apologize.
Yeah, yeah.

Come on, no hard
feelings, huh?

Let's shake.
Yeah, why do you do a thing--

[BUZZES]
Oh!

Don't laugh!
That's not funny.

Oh, Arch,
you always fall--

Go on and laugh.

I hope youse
choke over there.

I ain't buyin' no more
rounds of beers in here,

I tell ya that.

You never bought a round
for us yet, Arch.

Well, you just
blew your last chance.

Ah, come on, Arch.
Hey, don't be sore.

Ah, you should have
known better than that there. Ah, but, Arch--

I don't wanna
be with you guys.

Still pals, eh, Arch?

[LAUGHING]

Ah, to hell with youse.

Ooh.

Oh!

[LAUGHS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh.

I'm coming!

Hi, Mrs. Bunker.

How do you do?

Remember me?

Beverly--

Beverly LaSalle!

You do remember.
I'm so glad.

Well, come on in.

How could I forget you?

You're the lady
Archie saved,

but you turned out
to be a man.

Right.

Well, give me your coat.

My, you still
look like a lady.

Well, I just finished
dress rehearsal.

I'm on my way
back to the motel,

and I wanted
to stop in and see you. Well, sit down.

I'm glad you did.

I'm sorry
it's such a mess,

but I was just vacuuming,

and I got it
stuck under the TV.

Oh, can I help you?

Oh, no, no,
it's too heavy to lift.

Archie'll do it
when he gets home.

Oh, it's not trouble.

Oh, no, you might
strain something.

Don't be silly.

Uh, can you get
the part now?

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean
for you to hold it so long.

I just never seen a lady
pick up a heavy TV.

Oh, I keep forgettin'
you ain't a lady.

Oh, I mean
you act like a la--

Oh, well,
you know what I mean.

I know what you mean.

Yeah, well, sit down.

Thank you.

Do you realize,
Mrs. Bunker,

it was exactly
a year ago today

that Mr. Bunker
saved my life.

That's right.

He gave you mouth-to-mouth
in the backseat of his cab.

Right, and to mark
the event,

I want you and Mr. Bunker

to be my guests tonight
for dinner,

and after dinner
you can come see me work.

Are you back
at the new Pink Tiger?

Yes, maybe
it's coincidence,

but they love me
here in Queens.

Hey, Edith, I'm home.

Oh, Archie,
guess who's here.

It's Beverly LaSalle.

Hi, Mr. Bunker.

If it ain't
Miss Mouth-to-Mouth.

Uh, did anybody
see you comin' in here?

Just me.

Nobody, good.

What are you doing
back in town?

You working here again?

Yeah, at the new
Pink Tiger.

Oh, I thought the cops
closed that joint.

Yes, but it was
reopened by the mafia.

Oh, swell.

Beverly wants us
to go to dinner with her,

I mean with him,

and then go
and see a show after.

Uh, well,
to tell you the truth there, uh, Beverly,

that, I, uh, you know,

when I come home from work
I get awful tired, you know,

and I don't like
to go out no place,

so, uh, suppose we just
say "nice to see ya,

and hope to see you
soon again," huh?

Oh, come on, Mr. Bunker,
we've got to celebrate.

It's our anniversary.

Huh?

Don't you remember?

Oh, don't do that.
Don't do that, Beverly, huh?

Now, it's not that I don't
like to remember that,

but, see--Why don't you put
something on the table?

We could have
some supper here--

What the hell ya kick me
in the butt for?

'Cause you got a sign
on your back

that says "kick me hard."

Ah, jeez,
that Pinky Peterson.

No wonder they was all
laughin' at me

over Northern boulevard
there.

Jeez, I gotta
get even with this guy.

Come on, what
do you say, Mr. Bunker?

Dinner tonight at your
favorite restaurant?

Oh, no, I don't think so,
uh, uh...

We ain't been out
to dinner for a long time.

I don't think so,
Beverly. Please!

No.

The treat's on me,
Mr. Bunker.

Just the three of us,

unless there's someone
you'd like to invite.

Well, no, it ain't that,
Beverly, but that--I...

Well, you know, uh,
there is a guy that...

[LAUGHS]

Well, no,
he'd never go for it.

[LAUGHS]

Why the hell not?

You're right. Yeah.

Suppose I get
this guy I know,

and he could be
your escort there,

we'll go out like
a four-tet, huh?

Oh. All right.

Let me run back to the motel
and change, then.

Wait, wait, wait.
Change what?

I'll get into
a suit and tie.

No!
No, don't do that!

Stay just the way you are.
You look gorgeous that way.

But Mr. Bunker,
I've never been to dinner in a dress in my life.

Oh, no? Well, listen,
this'll be the first time!

Archie, who are you
gonna invite?

A guy. A guy.

But Archie,
he'll think Beverly is a girl.

That's the whole point,
Edith.

I don't think
we should do that.

Will you shut up?

You don't have to
cook dinner tonight,

you're getting
out of the house--

what the hell you care
what happens when you're out?

Harry? Hi.

Archie here.
Is Pinky Peterson hanging around there?

You're gonna ask
Pinky Peterson?!

Shhh...shh, you!

Hi, Pinky. Archie here.

No, oh, no, no.

Listen, listen, no.
That was all in fun,

plenty of laughs
and everything else.

And the "Kick Me" sign,
did it work here.

I got in the door,
Edith run up,

and she give me a boot
right where the sun don't shine.

Oh, she's hysterical,
she's still laughing.

Laugh it up there.
Get in there.

Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, hear that?

Uh--uh--

Pinky, the reason
I called is

Edith and me would like you
to go out to dinner tonight with us

and an old friend of hers
from out of town who's visiting here.

Oh, well, listen,
to hell with the bowling.

You can bowl anytime.

We're going over
to Hop Sing's.

Look, no, listen. Doris?
What's the difference?

I mean, you ain't
married to Doris, you can come along here.

It's gonna be swell.

Yeah? Good. Good.

Yeah. Listen,
don't lose no time gettin' over here, Pinky,

because have I got
a girl for you.

Mr. Bunker,
this is deceiving a total stranger.

I can't go along
with that. Aw, come on.

And I don't think
you should make Beverly

do something she don't--
I mean he don't want to do.

Edith, I ain't got
no time to argue with the two of youse.

Pinky's gonna be
walking in that door any minute.

Take my word for it,
this is gonna be an evening

loaded with fun
for everybody.

Don't do that!
Stay with me, will ya?

Listen, listen, Beverly,
remember this-- I saved your life,

and you owe me a favor.
You owe me, Bev.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

There he is.
There he is, now.

Come on, Edith, come on,
get somethin' on, huh?

Get a dress on, huh?

Come on,
get somethin' on. But, Archie--

Go upstairs,
get somethin' nice on.

Can't you make
yourself look adorable like Beverly there?

Go on up there!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

There he is, there he is!

Sit down, sit down, huh?

Sit down.

Jeez.

Remember, now,

you're supposed to be
an old school friend

of Edith's
from out of town.

Mr. Bunker, I don't think
I can get away with this.

Yes, you--
[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll be there! Hold it.

You can get away with it.
Don't sit like that.

Cross your knees
kinda cute there.

Point the toes
like sexy there.

Can you do something
with this here?

Okay, okay there, fine.

Now, just sit there
and relax.

Try and smile there.

You know, huh?

All the charm
you can give it.

Play easy to get.

Hiya there, Pinky.
Hey, Arch, what do you say?

Come on in, Pink.

Hey, I want you to meet
Miss Beverly LaSalle

from out in Miniola Garden
city way here.

This is Pinky Peterson
from Sunnyside.

How do you do?

Any friend of Edith's
has got to be

sweeter than the roses
in Maine.

Hey, hey, hey,
look at that, huh?

The hand-kissin',
ain't that class, see?

He learned that down south.

He was a dog-catcher
in Atlanta.

I'm gonna run upstairs
and get a coat and a tie,

just like you.

Just stay down here,
and get acquainted, you know.

Hey, but don't move
too fast too soon, Pinky.

You're out with
a real lady tonight.

This girl's got
a high school diploma.

So, you're Beverly LaSalle
from out of town, huh?

Is that your real name
or your stage name?

My God, you know!

I recognized you
the minute I came in.

I saw them puttin' up
your picture today.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed,
Mr. Peterson.

I would have never done
anything like this on my own.

Bunker put you up
to this, didn't he?

I knew he was
up to somethin'. I'm glad you know.

Now we can go out
and have a good time,

and I can go back
to the motel and change.

No, no, now, look,
since Archie lined this up,

let's let him think
he's pulling it off.

I don't understand.

Well, you see, I been
pullin' the bum-jokes

on him for years,
and all he wants to do is get even with me.

And you'd let him?

Are you kidding?

I love that guy.

He's like a brother to me.

I really love him.
It'll make him happy.

Well, all right.
I owe it to him I guess.

If you're sure it'll really
make him happy...okay.

ARCHIE: Here we are.
Hey, you ready now?

Yeah,
we're starvin'.

All dressed up
for a big night on the town.

Uh, Edith, you know Pinky
Peterson from the lodge there.

Pleasure is mine.

Beverly, could
I assist you there?

Hey, hey, Pinky,
you gotta be kinda swift

with the gentleman stuff
there, huh?

Edith, come on,
get your coat on, huh?

Edith, you look
like Miss America.

Oh, thank you.
So do you.

ARCHIE:
Hey there, Pinky,

we're out with a couple
of beauties tonight, huh?

Oh, Mr. Peterson,

you shouldn't
have ordered these. They're so strong.

I'm getting
so light-headed

I may not be able
to look after myself.

Whoopee, Edith.

If I drink anymore
I'll get dizzy.

Just rest your lovely,
little head

right on my shoulder.

Ain't that nice, Edith?

Don't that kinda
take you back?

No.

My, what broad shoulders
you have, Mr. Peterson.

You're in pretty good
shape there yourself.

She's a lovely big girl.

I always liked gals

with a little meat
on their bones.

Yeah, rummage around there.
You'll find a lot more.

You know,
it's evenings like this

when I think of what
a lucky guy I am.

Got my health,
good friends,

still got some of my hair,
and now this.

Why, Mr. Peterson,

you don't know
anything about me.

I know what I like,
and I like what I see.

I'd like to be
a fly on the wall

when he sees
the whole works.

Don't you think this
has gone on long enough?

We'll know when
it's gone on long enough.

When?

When Pinky comes after me
with a club.

♪ You were meant for me ♪

♪ Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum ♪

♪ I was meant for you ♪

♪ Ba-bum, ba-bum-bum,
ba-bum, ba-bum ♪

TOGETHER:
♪ Nature patterned you, and when she was done ♪

Archie, stop.

Excuse me, uh, Beverly,

I'm goin' to the ladies room,
would you like to come?

Oh, I'd love to.

PINKY: Not too long,
it'll be an eternity.

Wait a minute,
how are we gonna do this?

Sitting down.

♪ You're like
a plaintive melody ♪

Hey, you know, Pinky,

you don't see that
very often no more, you know?

A guy singin'
romantically to a girl.

See what happened?
You started to croon to her,

she went straight
to the can.

Well, you know, I mean
to splash a little water on the face,

cool off there.

You have her
breathless there.

You're in, buddy.

I really wanna
thank you, Arch.

This is something new.

I never felt
like this before.

Yeah, but isn't it
a shame about poor Doris,

you know, your sweetheart
who loves you?

She's gonna
be broken-hearted.

Oh, Doris
is the same old thing.

Beverly
is something different.

In every way, buddy.

Can I see you
for a minute?

No.

Please?
I gotta talk to you.

All right, excuse me there,
Pinky, Beverly.

Edith's got a little pain
over here or somethin'.

Archie,
Beverly's had enough.

I think we should go home.

This whole thing
may come

to a beautiful
finish any minute,

but if it don't
and we go home,

the two of us
go straight upstairs.

No coffee or crullers
or nothin'.

We leave the downstairs
to them, see?

Now, we stay up there
nice and quiet

until Pinky
has his heart attack.

Oh, no. No, no,
we ain't gonna do that. Wait, wait--

Mr. Peterson, I got
somethin' to tell you.

You see, Archie is playi''
a joke on you.

You can wait about
five more minutes. Go on, tell 'em, Archie.

All right, Edith, yeah,
all right, it's a joke.

That's right, Pinky,
it's a joke,

and the joke is on you
for a change,

and a hell of a joke
it is.

You mean
that Beverly's a guy?

Beverly--

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Did you say somethin' to him?

I can never catch
this guy at nothin'.

I got you again, Bunker.
ARCHIE: Ah, jeez.

You told me you wanted him
to have his revenge.

You rat!

Beverly, sweetheart,

you're the only dame
I ever loved.

I love you, I love you!

[DORIS SCREAMS]

Doris!

Doris, I thought you
was never gonna get here.

Oh, my God!

Is this what you mean

by going bowlin'
with the boys?

Doris, I can
explain everything!

Oh, Archie,
you were so right.

Thank you for callin' me,
and tippin' me off

to this philanderer!

Doris, I couldn't
do nothin' else.

Archie, that was
a terrible thing to do.

I had to stand
by Doris here.

Doris,
you don't understand.

Beverly,
explain it to Doris.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Same time
tomorrow night, Pinkums?

Doris, Beverly
isn't a lady.

Not if she's out
with you, you crumb.

Oh, no, no, no, he means

that she--I mean,
he ain't a woman.

Yeah, show 'em,
Beverly.

Should I, Mr. Bunker?

Yeah, go ahead, but be careful
of the things you show,

'cause we could get
locked up here.

All right. Showtime!

[DORIS SCREAMS]

What is wrong--!

It's a man.

Yeah.

You see, Doris,

I wasn't out with a woman.
I was out with a man.

See, Doris?

You almost married
a closet fruit here.

Sickie!
Sickie!

You're a real sicko,
Pinky.

You're a sickie!
Doris--

So long there,
sickie!

Doris,
please let me explain!

Hey, give my regards
to the mongoose there, sickie!

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
Oh, Archie, stop it.

Ah...

Everybody's
lookin' at you.

Oh, what the hell
are they lookin' at?

All they do is see a girl
take a wig off and put it back.

What the hell
are youse all lookin' at?

Mind you business and eat
your chinks over there.

We ain't goin'
no place, Edith.

The food is comin',
we gonna celebrate.

This is one of the greatest
nights of my life!

I finally got even
with that guy!

I gotta thank
you two swell girls!

♪

MAN: All in the Family
was recorded on tape

before a live audience.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0