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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The hit parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:19,317
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,428
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,031
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,567
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:40,905
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:46,711
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:52,885 --> 00:00:54,886
Hey, uh, how about
Paper Moon?
13
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,521
Nah.
14
00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,824
Then what about
American Graffiti?
15
00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:01,192
Nah.
16
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,129
Gloria, you've turned down
over 50 movies.
17
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:06,330
If you don't want to go,
just say so. I'll understand.
18
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,331
I don't wanna go.
19
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:10,735
I don't understand you, Gloria.
20
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,603
I feel like doing
something tonight.
21
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:15,140
Oh, okay, then let me show you
a new dance I learned.
22
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,174
Ooh, you're gonna
love it.
23
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,576
It's called
the elevator dance.
24
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,911
The elevator dance?
25
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,013
Yeah, no steps.
26
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,915
Gloria, take it easy,
will you?
27
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:24,983
What's the matter?
28
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,118
Y-y-you're hugging me
so tight.
29
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,887
That's because I like
being close to you.
30
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,222
Close to me?
You're among me.
31
00:01:32,524 --> 00:01:35,994
Gloria, do you think
this is too dressy
32
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:37,896
for Amelia's party?
33
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,464
Ma, you've had that dress
for four years
34
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:43,201
and every time you put it on,
you ask me that same question.
35
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,137
Well, I paid $28.50 for it,
36
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:50,474
and I don't want them to think
I'm showing off.
37
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:51,576
It's fine, Ma.
38
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,643
Oh, is Amelia cooking
39
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,245
another one of her
fancy dinners tonight
40
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:55,546
for you and Daddy?
41
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,048
Oh, yeah.
42
00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:01,119
It's gonna be a seven-course,
round-the-world gourmet dinner.
43
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,486
Where's Archie?
44
00:02:02,488 --> 00:02:05,090
In the kitchen,
making himself a sandwich.
45
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,390
Oh, no!
46
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,392
Archie!
47
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:10,895
Archie. Oh, don't eat that!
48
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:12,630
I'm eating it.
49
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,233
Archie, please,
50
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:17,268
if you don't hurry,
we'll be late.
51
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,269
Oh, no.
52
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,404
We're going to see
your relatives.
53
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:22,073
We go to see
your relatives,
54
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:23,574
no matter what time
we get there,
55
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,576
it'll be too soon.
56
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,114
Come on!
57
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,416
We got a long ride
on the subway to the beach.
58
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:33,417
Oh, don't tell me.
59
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:34,919
Why would dumbbells like that
60
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:36,921
live at the beach
in the wintertime?
61
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:41,559
Maybe it's because
Russ is a plumber,
62
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:46,330
and he likes to hear
the sound of water running.
63
00:02:55,107 --> 00:02:58,509
Well, when you see Russ, be sure
and shake your head, huh?
64
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:01,746
So he can hear the water
on your brain.
65
00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:04,849
No, really, we can't.
66
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,151
But thanks for asking.
67
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,518
Oh, have a good time.
68
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,887
Yeah, bye, David.
69
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,455
Uh, what was
all that about?
70
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:13,124
Oh, that was just David
inviting us
71
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,659
to a party
he's having tonight.
72
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,460
You turned him down?
Why didn't you ask me?
73
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:17,896
Why? You wanna go?
74
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,165
Well, Gloria, I said I felt like
doing something tonight.
75
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,233
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
76
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,335
It's just, well, the folks
are gonna be out tonight,
77
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:25,937
and I sort of took it
for granted
78
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,305
you'd wanna stay home
with me.
79
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,973
Yeah, well,
lately you've been
80
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,374
taking a lot of things
for granted.
81
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:32,677
Oh, Michael,
don't be like that.
82
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,978
Come on!
Yeah, all right.
83
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,948
Oh, look at this!
84
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,583
He's got her on his lap already.
85
00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:43,955
He'll be turning our home
into a massage parlor.
86
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,924
Archie, is that
all you think we do
87
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,125
when you're
out of the house?
88
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,459
Oh, no.
89
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:51,662
I think you do it sometimes
when I'm in the house.
90
00:03:53,699 --> 00:03:55,499
EDITH: Archie,
we better go.
91
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,435
Yeah, all right.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
92
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,502
Archie, for your information,
93
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,972
what Gloria and I do
behind closed doors
94
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,040
is none of your business.
95
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,641
There's no reason
for you to snigger.
96
00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,211
What was that I heard
from you,
97
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,979
you big pinko liberal?
98
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:12,416
Don't you know that the delicate
word for that is "Snegro"?
99
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,889
Bye, Ma. Have a good time.
EDITH: Bye!
100
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,624
Whoop-dee-doo, they're gone.
101
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:22,393
I was showing you
the elevator dance.
102
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,928
Elevator going up!
103
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,064
Hey, hey, Gloria!
Take it easy.
104
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,465
My back, my back.
Ow, ow, ow.
105
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,467
Michael, you used to love it
when I did this.
106
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,002
I-I-I still do.
107
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,636
It's just
I wasn't set for it.
108
00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:34,138
I know what it is.
109
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,573
It's David's party.
110
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,575
You're mad I turned it down
without asking you first.
111
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,943
Is that it?
112
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,880
Well, our marriage is an equal
partnership, fifty-fifty, right?
113
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,248
I'll call David back.
114
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,815
No, no, no.
That's all right.
115
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,717
You don't have to.
I made my point.
116
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,486
You understand
that you were wrong,
117
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,255
and I understand
that you were wrong.
118
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,856
See, that's the beauty
of our relationship.
119
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,258
We both have
an open mind.
120
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:56,194
Now, uh,
what'll it be tonight,
121
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,195
watch a little television, huh?
122
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,430
No, honey,
we don't need television.
123
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:01,366
Let's talk.
124
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,667
All right, talk.
125
00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:05,403
What do you want
to talk about?
126
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,338
You said I have
an open mind.
127
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,775
Is that what first attracted you
to me, my mind?
128
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:13,677
No, as a matter of fact,
it was your pockets.
129
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:14,678
What?
130
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,414
The first time
I saw you,
131
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,082
you were wearing
those tight jeans
132
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,318
with the cute little
pink pockets in the back.
133
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,389
Those were the best
walking-away pants I ever saw.
134
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,190
I fell in love
135
00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:30,295
with the way those cute little
pink pockets walked away.
136
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,330
Yeah? Yeah?
137
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,431
Then when you
turned around,
138
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,233
I fell in love
with the rest of you.
139
00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,936
Oh, Michael.
140
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,103
When you started to speak,
141
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,305
you almost ruined
the whole thing.
142
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,173
I'm kidding.
Kidding. Kidding.
143
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,607
Gloria,
144
00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,209
I knew the first time
I saw you
145
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:46,877
that underneath that
Little Orphan Annie hairdo
146
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,079
you used to wear
147
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,414
there lurked a mind.
148
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,083
And I knew that
underneath all that hair
149
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,418
and the mustache
150
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,819
and that beard you used to wear,
151
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:55,987
there lurked a face,
152
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,323
a beautiful face,
153
00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,324
which I'm taking with me.
154
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,591
Uh, where?
Where are you going?
155
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:01,692
Upstairs.
156
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,094
We were having such
a nice conversation.
157
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,495
Why do you
want to end it?
158
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,097
Who's ending it?
We'll talk on the way.
159
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,665
I forgot what
I was talking about.
160
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,300
You broke my concentration.
161
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,734
I lost my whole
trend of thought.
162
00:06:10,736 --> 00:06:12,870
You wanna play checkers?
163
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,705
Checkers? Won't that break
your trend of thought?
164
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:15,806
No, no, no.
165
00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,708
See, I play much better
when I think.
166
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,943
I think and I play better.
167
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:20,744
You just sit over there,
I'll get the checkers.
168
00:06:20,746 --> 00:06:22,146
I don't want
to play checkers.
169
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,148
All right, forget checkers.
You don't want to play checkers?
170
00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,749
You're the one
who wants to stay home.
171
00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:26,650
What do you wanna do?
172
00:06:29,888 --> 00:06:31,990
Quit kidding around, Gloria.
173
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,892
Who's kidding?
174
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,129
We'll watch television.
175
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,631
No, honey, come on.
176
00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,967
Let's make
our own fun.
177
00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:48,139
♪ Another bride ♪
178
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,541
♪ Another June ♪
179
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:55,313
♪ Another sunny honeymoon ♪
180
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,748
♪ Another season ♪
181
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,584
♪ Another reason ♪
182
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,021
♪ For makin' whoopee ♪
183
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,523
♪ A lot of shoes ♪
184
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,658
♪ A lot of rice ♪
185
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:10,228
♪ The groom is nervous ♪
186
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,497
♪ He answers twice ♪
187
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,798
♪ It's really killing ♪
188
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,201
♪ That he's so willing ♪
189
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,203
♪ To make whoopee ♪
190
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:25,109
Now do you wanna
go upstairs?
191
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,045
No.
192
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,813
Michael,
what's the matter?
193
00:07:29,815 --> 00:07:31,282
Nothing the matter.
194
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,683
I just don't feel like
going upstairs.
195
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:35,286
You haven't felt like
going upstairs
196
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,987
for the last four weeks.
197
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,856
I don't understand.
Is something wrong?
198
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,391
Gloria,
there's nothing wrong.
199
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:43,394
I just-- I've had a lot of
important things on my mind.
200
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,862
Like what?
201
00:07:44,864 --> 00:07:47,532
Well, like, uh,
for instance, uh...
202
00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,033
the energy crisis.
203
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,134
Oh!
204
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,436
Well, then I get it.
205
00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,404
It's not that you're
being indifferent to me,
206
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,005
you're just being patriotic.
207
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,441
What are you talking about?
208
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,742
You're conserving energy.
209
00:07:58,744 --> 00:08:01,045
Look, Gloria,
you don't understand.
210
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,646
You bet
I don't understand.
211
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:04,014
You've been acting
really strange tonight.
212
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,417
I used to run and jump
and throw my legs around you,
213
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,552
and you loved it.
214
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,153
Tonight it was,
"Look out for my back."
215
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,588
You always
used to wait for me.
216
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,723
You never jumped until I said,
"Ready, set, go."
217
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,358
Oh!
218
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,760
So that's what was missing,
"Ready, set, go."
219
00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:18,229
I can't jump
until you speak.
220
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,597
What are you,
my trainer?
221
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:22,800
No! I'm your husband
and you're my wife.
222
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,735
And to be perfectly honest
with you, Gloria,
223
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:27,972
lately you have been coming on
a little bit too strong.
224
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,241
Oh, so now
it's all coming out!
225
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,776
Well, go ahead, Michael!
Get it all off your chest.
226
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,778
All right, you asked for it.
You're gonna get it.
227
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,380
For the last--
I don't know how long.
228
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,182
You say it's four weeks?
All right, four weeks.
229
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,250
I think it's longer.
230
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,252
But we are hardly in bed
with the lights off
231
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,987
and...there you are.
232
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:46,224
What is wrong with that?
233
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:50,194
Did you ever stop to think
that maybe I'm not in the mood?
234
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,400
How am I supposed to know
235
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,202
whether or not
you're in the mood?
236
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,738
You'll know when
I make the advances.
237
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:01,939
That's how you'll know!
238
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,108
I don't believe
that's you talking!
239
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,176
Believe it, Gloria,
because lately,
240
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,977
I don't know who the man is
around here.
241
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,146
What?
242
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,647
And I'm gonna tell you
something else.
243
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:10,648
For the last four weeks--
244
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,350
And I think it's longer.
245
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:17,188
Some of those times,
I didn't really have a headache.
246
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,428
Then why didn't you
just tell me the truth
247
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,830
instead of making up
such a cheap excuse?
248
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:29,333
Because I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
249
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,769
Well, what do you think
you're doing right now?
250
00:09:35,106 --> 00:09:37,608
Michael, honey,
don't you understand?
251
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,910
If two people really
love each other,
252
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,812
what's the difference
who makes the first move?
253
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:43,581
A big difference!
254
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,982
The man doesn't like
to be chased.
255
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,917
It's more natural
for him to be the pursuer.
256
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,352
Hold it! Hold everything.
257
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:52,190
Didn't you just say we had an
equal partnership, fifty-fifty?
258
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,091
Yeah. Yeah.
Everything is fifty-fifty.
259
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:58,062
But I'm the fifty
that should be heard from first!
260
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:02,900
That is typical
male-superiority garbage!
261
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,768
Hey, hey, Gloria!
No, no!
262
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,004
If we are equal, we are
equal partners everywhere,
263
00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:08,138
and that includes
the bedroom.
264
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:11,875
Don't you see that
goes against nature?
265
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,844
I mean, take
the animal kingdom.
266
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,613
The male
is always in charge.
267
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,482
Oh, yeah? Did you ever
hear of a king bee?
268
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:26,490
What?
269
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,959
It's the female
who runs the hive.
270
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,895
That is strictly
for breeding purposes.
271
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,797
Okay, then what about
the black widow spider?
272
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,066
She does all the chasing.
She decides on the mating.
273
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:39,270
Yeah, and when she's finished
with her husband, she kills him.
274
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:42,740
You see what happens
when a woman takes charge?
275
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,009
Gloria, that is the whole point
of our civilization.
276
00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:49,413
Look how far we've come
from the spiders!
277
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,481
I don't believe it.
278
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,882
We got the whole house
to ourselves,
279
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:53,117
and we're talking
about spiders!
280
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,185
Gloria, look,
all I'm trying to say--
281
00:10:55,187 --> 00:11:00,157
All I'm trying to say is that a
man's sex drives are different!
282
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,759
Oh, don't tell me
about your drives, Michael.
283
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,160
Mine are just
as strong as yours.
284
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,830
And if it gives me pleasure once
in a while to be the pursuer,
285
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,866
the least you can do
is deliver.
286
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,774
Wait just a second here.
287
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:17,908
Wait just a second!
288
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,510
I have not finished.
289
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,646
Now, you call yourself
progressive.
290
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,846
But when it comes to women,
291
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,082
you're still working
on the old double standard.
292
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:29,253
If a man comes on strong,
he's a great lover, a Casanova,
293
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,855
but if it's a woman,
she's a nymphomaniac.
294
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,158
Look, Gloria...
295
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,461
A good marriage
is based on give and take.
296
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:38,929
Take tonight, for example.
297
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,898
You didn't want
to go to the movies.
298
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,700
I didn't force you
to go to the movies.
299
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,202
Now, I should get
that same consideration.
300
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,004
If I have
certain preferences--
301
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,606
Hang-ups.
302
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,211
If I have
certain preferences--
303
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,413
Hang-ups.
304
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,580
Preferences.
Hang-ups.
305
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:58,048
Preferences! Preferences!
Hang-ups! Hang-ups!
306
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,517
That's it! That's it!
307
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,884
I can't talk to you anymore!
308
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,954
I can't talk to you
because you're hysterical!
309
00:12:07,258 --> 00:12:09,960
Michael, look who's
calling who hysterical.
310
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,929
You're a wild woman, Gloria!
You're a wild woman!
311
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:14,699
I'll give you a chance
to calm down and cool off!
312
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:15,999
I'm going for a walk!
313
00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:17,435
That's all right, Michael.
Don't bother!
314
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:18,636
I'll go out for the walk.
315
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,103
No, no, you're not
going anywhere.
316
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:22,707
I said I was going. I'm going.
Don't tell me what to do!
317
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,508
If I wanna go
for a walk, I'll go!
318
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,509
You're not going
anywhere, Gloria.
319
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,010
It was my idea,
I'm going first!
320
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:29,647
Oh, Michael!
321
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:30,648
Honey!
322
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:31,716
What's the matter?
323
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:33,617
[SCREAMS]
324
00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:39,523
Spider!
325
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,091
Spider woman!
326
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:53,771
MIKE: Gloria?
327
00:12:56,207 --> 00:12:57,641
Gloria?
328
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,944
I wanna talk to you!
329
00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:04,882
Is anybody home?
330
00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:10,921
Gloria--
331
00:14:07,078 --> 00:14:09,613
[DOOR OPENS & SLAMS]
332
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,148
Gloria?
333
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:41,445
Excuse me.
334
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:44,307
Oh, did you want
to talk to me?
335
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,810
No. Did you want
to talk to me?
336
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,613
No. I thought you wanted
to talk to me.
337
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,114
Where'd you get that idea?
338
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,350
You don't wanna talk?
339
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:54,418
No.
340
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,286
Fine.
341
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,055
The talk is over.
342
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,092
Gloria, where the hell
have you been?
343
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,794
Out.
I know, "out."
344
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,563
Where, "out"?
Just out.
345
00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:10,034
It is after midnight. You've
been gone for over five hours.
346
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,002
That's not "just out,"
that's way out.
347
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,637
Now, I wanna know
where you've been.
348
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:17,107
It's personal, it's private,
and I don't wanna talk about it.
349
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:19,376
All right, fine.
350
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,578
You don't wanna talk about it?
351
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,145
That's fine with me.
352
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,782
I'm going to show you that I'm a
bigger person than you, Gloria.
353
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,383
I'm going to tell you
where I've been.
354
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,618
I'm going to tell you
355
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,419
everything that happened
to me tonight.
356
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,321
I'm going to open up
completely to you.
357
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,323
Okay, but let me get
another glass of milk first.
358
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,558
Gloria!
359
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,027
I just told you I was going
to open up completely!
360
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,029
All you can think about
is another glass of milk?
361
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:41,331
I can listen and drink
at the same time. Go ahead.
362
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,634
No, no, no, no. You finish
what you're doing first.
363
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,768
I want your
complete attention.
364
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,304
You've got my attention.
365
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,372
Thank you.
366
00:16:49,374 --> 00:16:51,108
I want to
tell you that...
367
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,811
I had a very unusual experience
tonight, Gloria.
368
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,646
Very unusual.
369
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:58,448
I went to David's party.
370
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,951
Yeah, and you probably--
371
00:17:02,386 --> 00:17:03,854
Gloria!
372
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,923
I was just talking
to you in there.
373
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,791
I heard everything you said.
374
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,994
You had a very
unusual experience tonight.
375
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,061
Go ahead.
376
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,230
Yeah.
377
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,365
Well, I went to
David's party tonight.
378
00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:18,535
I was feeling
very depressed
379
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,270
about you
walking out on me.
380
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:21,839
There were
a lot of people there,
381
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,306
all having a good time.
382
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,308
I sat all by myself
in a corner,
383
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,044
just staring off
into space.
384
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,781
And then suddenly
I heard this soft voice,
385
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:34,284
saying, "Would you care
for a drink?"
386
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,819
I looked up.
387
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:37,788
And there, standing
in front of me,
388
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,423
was a beautiful girl.
389
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:44,327
I don't mean cutie-pie
beautiful. I mean beautiful.
390
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,830
She had black hair.
391
00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,633
It was parted right down the
middle and pulled straight back.
392
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,302
She looked just like
a ballerina.
393
00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:56,874
With a name to go with it.
Felicia.
394
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:59,843
How's that for a name, huh?
Felicia.
395
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,478
It's a beautiful name.
396
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,246
You betcha.
Beautiful. Felicia!
397
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,548
Yeah.
398
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,785
Well, naturally,
I did the polite thing.
399
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,820
I asked her to sit down.
400
00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:12,056
You know what she did?
401
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,092
She sat down.
402
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,360
That's exactly
what she did.
403
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:19,596
But do you know
how she sat down?
404
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,865
Right on the floor
at my feet.
405
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,668
Dogs do that a lot too.
406
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,638
All right, Gloria.
You make fun if you want.
407
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,941
But I'm telling you
that it was beautiful.
408
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,642
I don't know how
to explain it,
409
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:35,112
but there was instant
communication between us.
410
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,647
Oh, I can explain it.
You talked and she listened.
411
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,817
I knew this was going to
be rough on you.
412
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,251
I'm about to
tell you, though,
413
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,055
there's more to this story.
414
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:48,692
I took her home.
415
00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:50,994
Uh, uh! Just let me
finish the story, please.
416
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:52,395
Don't interrupt.
417
00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:57,334
I took her to her place,
stood out there on the sidewalk.
418
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,002
It was a beautiful moment,
Gloria.
419
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,338
Just the two of us,
looking into each other's eyes.
420
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,006
And she waited,
421
00:19:03,008 --> 00:19:04,641
without asking--
422
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,043
You hear me?
You hear me?
423
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,611
Without asking,
424
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:10,680
she waited for me
to make the decision.
425
00:19:11,983 --> 00:19:17,121
So I took her in my arms
and I kissed her.
426
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,521
I want to tell you
something, Gloria.
427
00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:20,190
No, I want to
tell you something.
428
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,591
You just let me
finish here!
429
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,594
I want to tell you that for
the first time in four weeks--
430
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:26,696
And I think it's longer.
431
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:31,201
I enjoyed a true
man-woman relationship.
432
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,435
Well, I am glad.
433
00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:35,239
Because it makes it a lot easier
for me to tell you
434
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,940
that I met someone
tonight too.
435
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:37,975
Huh?
436
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,410
Someone I was
very attracted to.
437
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,512
Huh?
438
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,914
When I left
the house tonight,
439
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,950
I walked for a long time,
and I got really cold.
440
00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:48,685
So I stopped
for a cup of coffee.
441
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,154
I was very angry and upset,
442
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,389
and I wasn't paying any
attention to what I was doing.
443
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,191
And I spilled my coffee
all over my lap.
444
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,326
Yeah, well, forget the coffee.
What about the man?
445
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:59,096
Well, he was sitting
right next to me at the counter.
446
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,498
And when I spilled my coffee,
he took out his handkerchief
447
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,100
and dipped it
in a glass of water
448
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,035
and started to clean
the stain off my lap.
449
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,536
Off your lap?
450
00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:10,707
Yeah, and then he bought me
another cup of coffee,
451
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,810
and we sat in a booth,
and we talked.
452
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,112
You moved to a booth?
453
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,246
Yeah.
454
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:19,516
With a complete stranger,
you moved to a booth?
455
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:22,219
That's just it, Michael. It
wasn't like he was a stranger.
456
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,087
He was such
a good listener.
457
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:27,057
He had an instinctive
understanding of women.
458
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,192
He was very intelligent.
459
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,460
You know what he said about us?
What?
460
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:33,263
Well, he said
that most men
461
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,232
are rather vain
about their masculinity,
462
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,335
and that my husband might be
feeling threatened--
463
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:40,437
Forget that, forget that!
I don't care what he said.
464
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:41,839
No, I think
it's important
465
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,974
that I tell you
everything that happened.
466
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,508
There's more?
467
00:20:46,644 --> 00:20:47,811
Yes.
468
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:50,047
When we left
the coffee shop,
469
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,383
he insisted on walking me
to the bus stop.
470
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:55,452
We stood on the corner
saying goodbye.
471
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:57,888
And he made
a pass at you.
472
00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:59,289
No, it wasn't
like that at all.
473
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,725
No, it was one of
the most beautiful moments
474
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:04,194
I've ever experienced.
475
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:07,797
He stood there waiting,
a real man,
476
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:12,569
secure in his own masculinity,
aware of what my needs might be,
477
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:15,873
and perfectly willing
to let me make the first move.
478
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,207
And you know what I did?
479
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:20,944
You made the first move.
480
00:21:22,213 --> 00:21:24,014
You bet I did.
481
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,183
You made the first move!
482
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,151
I threw my arms around him
and kissed him.
483
00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:32,322
You-- You kissed a perfect
stranger on a street corner?
484
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,992
No, right on the lips.
485
00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:40,597
You kissed him on the lips?!
486
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:41,999
Michael, it wasn't
because I loved him--
487
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:44,001
No, no, no, no!
You kissed him on the lips.
488
00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,402
You kissed him on the lips.
489
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:46,469
Michael Stivic!
490
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:47,804
I listened
to your story.
491
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,373
Yeah, but that's
just it, Gloria.
492
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,774
That's just what
mine was, a story.
493
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:51,942
It didn't really happen.
494
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,343
I didn't go to
David's party tonight.
495
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,145
You wanna know the truth,
where I really went?
496
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,914
You wanna know
what really happened
497
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:58,815
while you were standing
on a street corner
498
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:01,418
throwing yourself
at some strange man's lips?
499
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:04,187
I was sitting all alone
500
00:22:04,189 --> 00:22:07,324
in a lousy, crummy
neighborhood movie theater
501
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,826
watching a rotten
double feature.
502
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,329
You might have enjoyed it
if you'd stayed in your seat.
503
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,265
Five trips to
the candy counter.
504
00:22:24,542 --> 00:22:27,811
How do you know how many trips
I made to the candy counter?
505
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:30,347
Because I was
in that crummy theater,
506
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,417
sitting four rows
behind you, munch-mouth.
507
00:22:35,286 --> 00:22:38,521
Then that whole story about
the man with the coffee stain,
508
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:40,324
the kiss on the lips,
you made that up?
509
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:43,360
That's right, Michael,
just like you made up your story
510
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:47,497
about your girlfriend, Felicia.
511
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:49,232
It's a beautiful name.
512
00:22:54,638 --> 00:22:58,342
Michel, I made up that story
to show you
513
00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,377
that if I'm
attracted to you,
514
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:03,213
what's wrong with me
letting you know that?
515
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,782
Honey.
516
00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:08,518
If two people
really love each other,
517
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,854
it doesn't matter
who starts things
518
00:23:10,856 --> 00:23:12,589
as long as
they get started,
519
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:15,425
and as long as
we end up together.
520
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,494
Doesn't that make sense?
521
00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:21,098
Yeah.
522
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,066
Good.
523
00:23:24,202 --> 00:23:25,969
Oh, Michael, mustard.
524
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:26,870
Oh.
525
00:23:32,276 --> 00:23:34,044
It was delicious.
526
00:23:35,179 --> 00:23:37,747
Gloria, if you...
527
00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,683
still wanna play
ready, set, go, I'm...
528
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,186
I'm willing.
529
00:23:44,389 --> 00:23:45,855
Whoop-dee-doo.
530
00:23:47,558 --> 00:23:48,658
Ready, set--
531
00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:50,060
Hold it, hold it,
hold it, Michael.
532
00:23:50,062 --> 00:23:52,029
Fifty-fifty.
533
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:55,598
You're right, you're right.
You go first.
534
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:56,699
Ready.
535
00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:58,001
Set.
536
00:23:58,003 --> 00:24:00,370
BOTH: Go!
537
00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:18,855
What did I tell you, huh?
538
00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:21,525
They've been at it
since we left.
539
00:24:36,006 --> 00:24:37,541
MICHAEL: Ready.
GLORIA: Set.
540
00:24:37,543 --> 00:24:39,008
BOTH: Go!
541
00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:50,454
Did you hear that?
They're calling signals now.
542
00:25:08,839 --> 00:25:12,842
["REMEMBERING YOU" PLAYING]
543
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:16,846
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
544
00:25:16,896 --> 00:25:21,446
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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