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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The hit parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
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♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
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♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
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♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
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00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,567
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:40,905
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:46,711
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:01,960
How's it going, Michael?
Oh, sensational.
13
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,895
Oh, gee, you do that
with such flair.
14
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,497
Well, either you have it or you
don't, you know what I mean?
15
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:07,899
Can I help you?
Yeah.
16
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,434
See if you can find
my thumb in there.
17
00:01:10,436 --> 00:01:12,503
Hey, what's that thing
you're cooking in?
18
00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:13,972
Oh, that's, uh--
That's a wok.
19
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,173
A what?
20
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:16,607
No, no, no, a wok.
21
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,777
It's Frank Lorenzo's.
He's teaching me how to use it.
22
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,878
You cook
Chinese food in it.
23
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,080
Ooh!
24
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,314
You know, I'm starting
to understand
25
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,850
why Frank Lorenzo gets
such a big kick out of cooking.
26
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:28,053
Gee, you're really
having fun, aren't you?
27
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,253
Yeah!
28
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,855
You know, I oughta
cook dinner more often.
29
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:34,559
Oh, I wouldn't rush into
a decision like that, Michael.
30
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:35,827
EDITH:
Hi.
31
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,896
How's it coming?
Oh, terrific, Ma.
32
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,363
Oh, good.
33
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:43,401
Oh, Mike, I don't like to give
advice when I ain't asked.
34
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,536
Can I give you
a piece of advice?
35
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:46,938
Oh, yeah, sure, Ma.
36
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,541
You're supposed to cook
in the pot, not in the lid.
37
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:55,080
No, Ma, that's not
a lid, it's a wok.
38
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:58,183
The Chinese cook in it,
like we use a frying pan.
39
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,784
Oh, my!
40
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:04,455
I bet they have a lot
of trouble making pancakes.
41
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,390
Don't you think
Michael's brave, though,
42
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,593
cooking dinner
all by himself?
43
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:09,961
Well, well, well, not so brave.
44
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,230
I mean, after all, remember
the old Chinese proverb,
45
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:16,300
"Many men cook,
but fu mein chu."
46
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:22,807
I ain't never heard that before.
47
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,243
And let's hope
you never hear it again.
48
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,378
Come on, Ma,
let's set the table.
49
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:31,282
Oh, Mike, are you sure
you can manage by yourself?
50
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,483
Oh, sure, Ma.
There's no problem.
51
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:33,517
As long as I remember
52
00:02:33,519 --> 00:02:35,120
the four basic rules
that Frank taught me:
53
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,788
block, wok, hot, lot.
54
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,190
Block, wok, hot, lot?
55
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:41,092
Is that Chinese?
No, no, no, Ma.
56
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,094
It means chop on block,
cook in wok,
57
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,863
serve it hot,
then pray a lot.
58
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:50,068
Well, just yell
if you need anything.
59
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,970
Okay, Ma, I will.
60
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,839
[WHISTLING TUNEFULLY]
61
00:03:05,550 --> 00:03:07,085
Don't worry
about dinner, Ma.
62
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,321
It'll be fine.
Oh, I ain't worried, Gloria.
63
00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:13,624
I just feel guilty
doing nothing
64
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,294
while a man
is cooking my dinner.
65
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:20,665
I guess I just ain't used to
a life of luxury.
66
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,567
But Michael's enjoying it, Ma.
67
00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:26,171
It's not as if he was forced
to do dinner every night
68
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,438
the way you are.
69
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:31,109
Oh, I ain't forced
to do it either, Gloria.
70
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,812
I do it because I want to.
71
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:38,416
And if I don't,
Archie yells at me.
72
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,351
Where is Daddy,
anyway?
73
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,820
I mean, he's
awful late tonight.
74
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:44,155
Oh, he don't mind
being late
75
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:47,425
when he's driving
Mr. Munson's cab.
76
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:50,628
It means he's doing good
and making more money.
77
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:54,999
Oh, 6:30, I bet
he's doing real good!
78
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,600
Officer, I've been robbed!
79
00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,004
Take it easy,
Mr. Bunker.
80
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:02,640
You ain't the first guy who's
ever been held up in New York.
81
00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,008
Oh, jeez.
82
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,810
Now, let me see
if I've got this straight.
83
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,712
The passenger
got out of your cab,
84
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,580
held you up
and stole your wallet.
85
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,115
I told you that three times.
86
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,884
The guy lifted 50 bucks off me.
87
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,685
Can't we get
some action on this?
88
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:15,887
We're working on it, Mr. Bunker.
89
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,723
I'm just taking
your statement down here.
90
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,359
Sergeant Roselli's gonna want to
talk to you about it later.
91
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,061
Oh, Roselli, huh?
92
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:26,464
Jeez, whatever happened to
all the Irish cops on the force?
93
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,866
Oh, let me tell you,
94
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,468
them were the guys that knew how
to handle crime on the streets.
95
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:31,936
They was always out there
busting heads.
96
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,574
You like those
old stereotypes, huh?
97
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,176
Best types of all.
98
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,443
They didn't waste no time
99
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,779
bringing the crinimals
into court to be let go.
100
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,949
They grab a guy, they tell him,
"Hey, don't do that no more!"
101
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,253
Then they crack him on the skull
so he wouldn't forget.
102
00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:50,588
Well, nowadays
103
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:53,824
our methods aren't
quite so sophisticated.
104
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:56,160
That's what I'm saying!
105
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:59,030
A crack in the head
is worth a thousand words.
106
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:02,700
My wife is gonna
be expecting me.
107
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,302
I think I'm gonna
be late for dinner.
108
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,336
I better call home, huh?
109
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,139
Uh, over there, Mr. Bunker.
The payphone.
110
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,474
I can't pay for a call.
111
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:14,078
He took all my money,
my last dime.
112
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,448
According to my rights, I'm
entitled to one free phone call.
113
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:21,519
Mr. Bunker, that's for
the accused. You're the victim!
114
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,554
Oh, yeah.
115
00:05:25,557 --> 00:05:27,792
[PHONE BUZZES]
Sergeant Blair.
116
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,094
Yeah. Right away.
117
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,462
Follow me,
Mr. Bunker.
118
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:32,797
What happens now?
119
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:33,998
You're gonna see
Detective Sergeant Roselli
120
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,400
about your robbery.
121
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,935
Where?
Right in here.
122
00:05:39,338 --> 00:05:41,872
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
123
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:45,076
I told you, the guy that
robbed me, he wasn't no hippie.
124
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:48,346
He was clean shaved,
he was well dressed.
125
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,381
He was a good-looking guy,
not like this here.
126
00:05:50,383 --> 00:05:51,749
Mr. Bunker--
127
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:54,452
I'm out 50 bucks. Can we
get some action, sergeant?
128
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:55,786
I'm the sergeant.
129
00:06:04,696 --> 00:06:05,796
You are?
130
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,399
I'm Sergeant Roselli.
131
00:06:11,736 --> 00:06:13,671
Here's Mr. Bunker's
statement, Tony.
132
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:14,939
Thanks.
133
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,843
Take this bum out
and book him for grand larceny.
134
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,612
This is a bum?
Yeah.
135
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,914
Oh!
136
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,790
Sergeant Roselli. What are you,
one of them mod squads?
137
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:37,628
No, just a police officer,
Mr. Bummer.
138
00:06:43,635 --> 00:06:45,669
Uh, "ker."
Do you mind?
139
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,905
Bunker.
140
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,174
I only thought because you was
hiding behind all that hair
141
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,310
that you was one of them
undercover guys.
142
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:55,346
No, I just happen
to have long hair.
143
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,547
Oh.
144
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:57,815
Roselli.
145
00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:00,184
Ain't you got
no barbers in the family?
146
00:07:03,355 --> 00:07:07,158
Look, I wear my hair long
because I like it that way.
147
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,792
Does it
bother you?
148
00:07:08,794 --> 00:07:12,497
No, no. I was just staring
at it, that's all.
149
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,533
Let's talk about
your crook's hair, Mr. Bunker.
150
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,403
Now, you say there in your
statement that it was blond.
151
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,603
How blond?
152
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,906
Oh, he was very blond,
very bright.
153
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,174
He was almost white.
154
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,910
In fact, if you was to give
this guy a nickname,
155
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:29,080
it'd probably be, er, "Whitey."
156
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,916
Did he brush his hair
straight back?
157
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,217
Yeah, he brushed it
straight--
158
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,452
How'd you know that?
159
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,354
I'm a detective.
160
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,256
Mr. Bunker,
I think I know this guy,
161
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,258
and there's a good chance
that I'm gonna catch him.
162
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,592
Yeah, well, listen.
163
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:44,695
Before I go there, I just
wanna remind you once more
164
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,764
about the amount of money
in the wallet there.
165
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:51,069
It was exactly 50 bucks,
you know? On the nose.
166
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,670
Yeah, I know.
It's in your statement.
167
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:54,072
Yeah, I know it's
in my statement,
168
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,273
but I hear tell
that sometimes
169
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:57,775
when money changes hands
in police stations,
170
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:58,642
that it, uh...
171
00:08:00,212 --> 00:08:01,412
That it what?
172
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,215
That it gets lost.
173
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,085
Don't worry about that.
You're in luck.
174
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,486
See, it's the end
of the month.
175
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,455
I'm already over
my graft quota.
176
00:08:12,691 --> 00:08:15,859
You see, if I stole any more,
I'd be in a higher bracket.
177
00:08:18,063 --> 00:08:19,564
Come on,
are you telling--?
178
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,765
Mr. Bunker, go home.
179
00:08:22,901 --> 00:08:24,635
All right.
180
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:29,974
Oh, Archie,
I'm so glad you ain't hurt!
181
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,944
And I feel terrible
because I wasn't even worried.
182
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,580
I thought you was doing good.
All right.
183
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,082
And all the time
you was being robbed.
184
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,883
Oh, but I'm fine.
He could have killed you!
185
00:08:39,885 --> 00:08:42,487
Look at me.
Am I killed?
186
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,654
What are you
talking about?
187
00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:45,689
These punk
stick-up guys,
188
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:49,160
they never kill a guy that
knows how to handle himself.
189
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,495
How do you
handle yourself?
190
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,997
Give him the money
before he kills you.
191
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,900
Daddy, how much
did he get?
192
00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:59,537
How much did he get?
He got my whole wad, 50 bucks.
193
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,239
Oh, that's terrible!
194
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:04,008
Did he actually
pull a gun on you?
195
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,409
He didn't have to
pull a gun.
196
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:07,011
I could see the lump
in his pocket.
197
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:11,182
Maybe he was doing like
Edward G. Robinson used to do,
198
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,386
just holding a pipe in
his pocket and making believe.
199
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:22,493
Jeez, I wish I'd have
thought of that, Edith.
200
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,094
I'd have said
to the hold-up guy,
201
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,564
"Hey, you only got
Edgar G. Robinson's pipe
202
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,566
in your pocket."
203
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,602
Then he would have
killed me right then.
204
00:09:33,138 --> 00:09:34,572
Daddy, what did
the police say?
205
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,040
Said nothing.
206
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:39,943
The guy I was talking to was
too busy combing his long hair.
207
00:09:39,945 --> 00:09:41,345
Sounds like Serpico.
208
00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:42,880
Serpico.
209
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,650
Ain't that a cough syrup?
210
00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:48,018
No, Ma. Serpico is a detective.
211
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,520
He's one of the new breed.
212
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,689
Yeah, to me he looked
like an old breed.
213
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,291
Sheepdog.
214
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:55,426
What do you want, Arch?
215
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,427
Someone who's nice and neat
216
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,528
and clean with shined shoes?
217
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,297
Why not? The city's paying them.
218
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,599
Someone with a nice, sober suit
and short hair?
219
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,667
ARCHIE:
That's right!
220
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,569
Someone like Halderman
or Erlichman?
221
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,137
That's right--
Get off that!
222
00:10:10,642 --> 00:10:11,875
GLORIA: Daddy.
223
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,512
Daddy, will you be able
to identify the thief
224
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,013
if they catch him?
225
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,582
Certainly I will,
little girl.
226
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:20,050
I'll remember that young
punk kid the longest day I live.
227
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:23,020
Oh, Archie,
was he really young?
228
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:24,222
Yeah, he was young.
229
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,257
And believe it or not,
he was white.
230
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,893
Why shouldn't we believe that?
231
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:31,995
You never pick up
any black fares.
232
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,331
Ah, shut up.
233
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,900
Why don't you never pick up
any black people, Archie?
234
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:39,570
You want me driving
up there to Harlem?
235
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:40,838
Suppose my cab
broke down
236
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,873
at the corner of 137th Street
and Lenox Avenue,
237
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,074
what do you think
would happen?
238
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:47,311
Maybe somebody would
repair it for you.
239
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,348
What?
Well, you're always...
240
00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:52,516
You're always saying
241
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:56,220
that colored people
are good fixing cars.
242
00:10:56,222 --> 00:11:00,090
Ah, that's only when they're
in white neighborhoods.
243
00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:02,660
Archie, you are so full of--
Michael!
244
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,662
Hey, hey, hey!
What about your dinner?
245
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,065
What was that? What was that?
I'm full of what? Full of what?
246
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,067
Hey! Hey!
247
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,069
The women cut you off,
but you was gonna say
248
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,471
something dirty
in the living room there.
249
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:14,538
Because you were
talking stupid.
250
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:16,206
Why do you always
have to talk stupid?
251
00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:18,709
To make you understand!
252
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:23,147
Funny.
253
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,715
Let me ask you this,
254
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,384
how come you're
never on my side,
255
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,185
even when
a guy holds me up?
256
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,655
Archie, if they catch that boy,
257
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:34,425
will you have to take off work
and go to court for his trial?
258
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,126
Certainly I will.
Sure I will.
259
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:38,028
I'll lose a day's pay,
but it's worth it
260
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,898
to see that piece of filth
thrown into the jug.
261
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,099
Hey, hey, wait a second, Arch.
262
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:43,501
You're talking about
a human being.
263
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,868
I'm talking about
a creep.
264
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:45,969
All right, I agree.
265
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:47,871
He should be punished
for what he did,
266
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,308
but you don't go around calling
people "pieces of filth."
267
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,443
How about "piece of creep"?
268
00:11:53,645 --> 00:11:55,245
There you go,
talking stupid again.
269
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,382
There you go,
understanding me again.
270
00:12:00,218 --> 00:12:03,921
What the hell are you slopping
around with here in the pot?
271
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,623
It's Chinese food.
272
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,024
It don't look
like Chinks to me.
273
00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,126
GLORIA & MIKE:
Chinese food!
274
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,227
That's what I said,
Chinks,
275
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,696
and that ain't it.
276
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,565
Yes, it is, Daddy, and it's
very good. Michael made it.
277
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,767
Michael m--
278
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,102
Are you letting the Meathead
cook my supper?
279
00:12:19,104 --> 00:12:22,540
Oh, yeah! Frank Lorenzo
taught him how to do it.
280
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,442
Then let him
and Frank Lorenzo eat it.
281
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,678
Oh, Archie, it looks so good
and it smells--
282
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,648
It smells
like fertilizer.
283
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,116
And that's what
you're full of! That's it!
284
00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:35,820
All right, you don't have to eat
it. He's not eating the food!
285
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,755
Daddy, you could
at least try it.
286
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,357
What would you say
if you cooked dinner
287
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:40,758
and Michael wouldn't eat
any of it?
288
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,227
I'd say that the Meathead
probably got magnesia
289
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,429
and forgot where his mouth was.
290
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,697
Oh, that's nice!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
291
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:48,298
You try to do something nice
for somebody
292
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,299
and look what happens,
293
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:50,901
they throw it right back
in your face.
294
00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:51,902
Thank you very much!
295
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:53,904
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
296
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,639
Don't try--
Michael, don't say anything.
297
00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:56,974
I worked hard
on this, Gloria.
298
00:12:56,976 --> 00:13:00,210
Shut up over there and try
to be delicate, will you?
299
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:02,346
I'm at the door.
300
00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:05,082
Mr. Bunker?
301
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,083
Yeah?
302
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,651
My name is Morrison.
303
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:10,621
I'd like to talk to you about
your, um, unfortunate incident.
304
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,089
My what?
305
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:13,424
In your cab.
306
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,659
Oh, you must be
another detective, huh?
307
00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:16,927
No, no.
No, I'm a lawyer.
308
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,763
Oh, hold it.
I don't need no lawyer.
309
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,331
I already been robbed.
310
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:30,541
Mr. Bunker,
could we talk privately?
311
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,742
I've got
a proposition
312
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,578
that could prove
very beneficial to you.
313
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,380
What's beneficial?
Money.
314
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:37,515
I'll get my coat.
315
00:13:39,384 --> 00:13:41,251
Archie,
where are you going?
316
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,186
Beneficial.
On the porch.
317
00:13:43,188 --> 00:13:47,625
I wonder why a lawyer
wants to see Archie.
318
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,026
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
319
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:51,896
I think it's got something
to do with the robbery.
320
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:52,763
Hello?
321
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,868
Oh, no, sergeant.
My father just stepped out.
322
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,737
Can I take a message?
323
00:14:00,939 --> 00:14:02,907
He caught the man
that robbed Daddy!
324
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:05,309
Oh, could you hold on, because
I'm sure he'll wanna hear this.
325
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:07,110
I think I can get him, okay?
Hold on.
326
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,879
Daddy!
327
00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:10,815
Daddy!
328
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,249
What?
329
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:13,684
It's Sergeant Roselli
on the phone here.
330
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,252
He caught the man
who robbed you!
331
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,588
Oh, all right. Tell him
to hold the line there.
332
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,590
The sergeant's on the phone.
Come on in, Mr. Morrison.
333
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,191
Tell him to hold the line,
little girl.
334
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,793
GLORIA: Hold on,
he's coming to the phone.
335
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,528
All right. Come on,
give me the phone!
336
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,330
I'm giving you the phone!
Get out of here!
337
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,298
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
338
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:35,339
Yeah, Archie Bunker here,
sergeant, yeah.
339
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,942
Yeah, my daughter just told me.
340
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:42,446
Oh, you found the wallet too,
huh? Great, great.
341
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,982
You want me to come down
and identify the guy.
342
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,250
Well, I tell you, uh...
343
00:14:47,252 --> 00:14:49,453
I tell you,
sergeant,
344
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,689
I have just decided...
345
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,390
not to press the charges.
346
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,325
Daddy!
Archie?
347
00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:58,662
Shush! Shush
in front of the phone.
348
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:06,570
I have decided
not to press the charges.
349
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,614
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it!
350
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,316
The police caught your robber,
now you're dropping the charges?
351
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,051
Mr. Bunker, I have to be going.
352
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,452
I'll be right with you,
Mr. Morrison.
353
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:23,821
Get lost, will you?
354
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,923
Arch, aren't you always saying
we should help the police?
355
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,224
I'm helping
the police.
356
00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:29,026
I'm giving them one less case
to worry about.
357
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,762
Yeah, you're giving the public
one more to worry about.
358
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,965
The point is
that the boy is innocent.
359
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:39,803
But, Archie, you said he was
a terrible crook with a gun.
360
00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,304
You said
it was a pipe.
361
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:42,907
And the more I think
about it, Edith,
362
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,307
the more I think
you're right there.
363
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:46,343
I think it was something
like that, a pipe.
364
00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:49,312
I think that he had me
fooled there, the little devil.
365
00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:52,082
The little devil?
You heard me!
366
00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:54,685
You make him sound like he was
one of the Our Gang kids.
367
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,853
Oh, shut up.
368
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,689
Mr. Morrison, I want
to ask you something.
369
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,890
Now, wait a minute,
Mr. Morrison.
370
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,859
Don't pay no attention
to this college boy, huh?
371
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,060
Mr. Morrison--
372
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,996
A, he's unemployed,
and two, he don't work.
373
00:16:08,466 --> 00:16:10,467
Mr. Morrison, what did
you and my father-in-law
374
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,835
talk about on the porch?
375
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:14,071
Wait a minute! Mr. Morrison,
you don't have to answer that.
376
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,505
That's all right.
377
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,808
Young man, I'm a family friend
of the unfortunate boy
378
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,177
who's only guilty
of an error in judgment.
379
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,579
Your father-in-law and I agreed
380
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,380
we don't want
to get the boy in trouble
381
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:24,715
because of one little mistake.
382
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,384
Yeah. I decided
to forgive the boy.
383
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,252
Five minutes ago,
you were ready to hang him.
384
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:30,554
Don't talk to me.
385
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,855
Mr. Morrison--
386
00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:34,291
I'm glad your father-in-law
changed his mind,
387
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,226
because my client is
a very honest young person.
388
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:38,495
Honest? How could he be honest?
He robbed him!
389
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,064
Well, some people
are honest underneath.
390
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,065
That's right!
391
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,066
And that's how it is
392
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,100
with young Andy Farrell.
393
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,735
Yeah, lots of people
are like that.
394
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,136
They're very good underneath.
395
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,772
They're just
a little rotten on top.
396
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:51,976
Well, Andy has promised
397
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:54,111
that he will never do
anything like this again.
398
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:55,579
Wonderful.
Wonderful?
399
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,948
What's wonderful about
letting a robber off scot-free?
400
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,985
Young man, as a student,
you should understand.
401
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:03,921
If Andy were prosecuted,
he'd be expelled from college.
402
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,723
That would be the end
of his political career
403
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,491
even before it's begun.
404
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:10,995
What? Mr. Morrison...
405
00:17:13,297 --> 00:17:15,766
What kind of a politician
is a guy gonna make
406
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,467
when he starts out
by robbing people?
407
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:19,903
I know,
the successful kind.
408
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:24,041
Mr. Bunker,
I'm sure Tom Farrell
409
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,943
will want to thank you
personally
410
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,945
when he hears how fair
you've been to his son.
411
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:29,446
Don't mention it there,
Mr. Morrison.
412
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,048
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
Wait a second.
413
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,415
Tom Farrell,
the city commissioner?
414
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:35,485
And devoted father.
415
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:38,022
Oh, I get it. I get it.
416
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,256
That's the political career
417
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:40,658
you're really trying to protect,
isn't it?
418
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,926
Oh, yeah, sure,
I understand perfectly now.
419
00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:45,763
If you understand, why don't you
shut up and get out of here?
420
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,732
Once again, Mr. Morrison, good
night and thank you very kindly.
421
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,801
Good night.
Yeah, good night, Mr. Morrison!
422
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:51,902
You're incredible,
Arch.
423
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,303
Really incredible!
Oh, get away from me.
424
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,338
Five minutes ago
you were ready for blood,
425
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:57,141
and after two minutes
with a smooth-talking lawyer,
426
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,842
you're as gentle
as a lamb.
427
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:00,377
I told you, get away!
Yeah, Daddy.
428
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,580
How could you let him talk you
into dropping those charges?
429
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,816
He didn't talk me
into nothing.
430
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,985
This is what
did the talking here.
431
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,887
[LAUGHS]
432
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,355
One hundred bucks.
433
00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:15,859
Archie,
he gave you $100?
434
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:16,860
That's right, Edith.
435
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,062
I knew it.
I knew it.
436
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,997
Tom Farrell paid you
to keep quiet.
437
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,198
What's the matter with that?
438
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,366
Ain't you ever heard
"silence is gold"?
439
00:18:25,536 --> 00:18:28,505
Archie, I don't think
you should have taken that.
440
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:29,973
Why not?
441
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:32,876
Because you're breaking the law,
Arch. You accepted a bribe.
442
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,377
I didn't accept no bribe!
443
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:37,848
Well, what's your word for it,
"campaign contribution"?
444
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,718
Don't be stupid.
I ain't running for nothing.
445
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,820
I was just doing something
to help a guy out.
446
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:45,089
To help a guy out?
447
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,224
ARCHIE:
That's right, little girl.
448
00:18:47,226 --> 00:18:48,726
That's the American way.
449
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,128
If a guy's down, you don't
kick him, you help him up.
450
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,331
Then you scratch his back
and he scratches yours.
451
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,067
This is the scratch
I just got.
452
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:06,476
Oh, don't be looking at me
like a wounded sheep.
453
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,079
I gotta go down to the police
station to pick up the wallet.
454
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,381
Now, before I go,
could I have a beer?
455
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:12,716
All right, Archie.
456
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:17,921
Daddy, what if the police find
out that Mr. Farrell paid you?
457
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,556
Oh, I ain't splitting with them.
458
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,291
Let the cops
make their own deal.
459
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:28,065
Your wallet will be brought down
in a minute, Mr. Bunker.
460
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,166
Well, jeez, it's about time,
461
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,168
not that I wanna
put the rush on you guys.
462
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,502
My cab's parked out there.
463
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:34,604
It don't make me no money
sitting at the curb.
464
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:35,773
Wait over there,
will you?
465
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,040
Yeah, all right,
all right.
466
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:40,443
Jeez, it's gonna take
all night, this thing.
467
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,913
[SIGHS]
468
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,515
Oh, hi there. You must be
working with Roselli, huh?
469
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,516
What?
470
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,684
Yeah, what have
you got,
471
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,719
another one of them
grand larceny bums over there?
472
00:19:49,721 --> 00:19:50,720
What?
473
00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:51,922
Listen, I wanna
tell you something.
474
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,723
I got a lot of respect
for you guys,
475
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,925
going around
the way youse do
476
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,726
with the long hair
and them clothes like that,
477
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,295
smelling like
the river.
478
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,901
All I wanna say is you're doing
a great job for the city there
479
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,468
and I appreciate it.
480
00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,404
Hey, Pete, you can
bring him up now.
481
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:10,941
Okay. On your feet.
Come on.
482
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,510
Uh, wait a minute!
What's going on?
483
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:14,611
What, are you
the detective?
484
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:15,612
That's right.
485
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,314
I thought you was
the undercover man.
486
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:21,151
:What are you,
some kind of a mental case?
487
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,527
Oh, hello, Bunker.
488
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,095
Oh, hiya,
Roselli, there.
489
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,097
Hey, why did you
hang up on me like that?
490
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:36,333
Oh, well, because we had
a visitor in the house,
491
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,767
and there was
a lot going on.
492
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:40,170
Look, Roselli, I just come down
to get my wallet, that's all.
493
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,471
Yeah, I know.
494
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:43,740
How come you dropped the charges
against Andy Farrell?
495
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,608
Well, I mean, after all,
496
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:47,410
I don't wanna get
an innocent kid in Dutch.
497
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,846
You know, I mean--
498
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,047
Well, you don't go around
499
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,015
throwing human beings
into the jug.
500
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:54,584
Why? You afraid
you'd give the kid a trauma?
501
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:56,486
I don't want a trauma
to go on his record.
502
00:20:58,656 --> 00:21:00,623
You know, it's a prank.
503
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:03,426
After all, when I was a kid,
you know what I used to do?
504
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:05,829
I used to steal hunks of ice
off of the ice wagon.
505
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,098
You stole off a wagon?
506
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,000
Forty years ago!
507
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:13,237
Come on, there's a statue
of libertations here.
508
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,839
I'm talking about a prank
like this kid was a prank.
509
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,640
Well, it just happens to be
the third prank
510
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:20,177
that Andy Farrell has pulled
on cab drivers this year.
511
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:21,578
Oh, yeah?
512
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:22,679
Yeah, and the third time
513
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,681
that the charge
was suddenly dropped.
514
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,283
Oh.
515
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,785
Well, jeez,
nobody told me that.
516
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:32,189
Well, that's too bad. You
could have held out for more.
517
00:21:32,191 --> 00:21:34,992
Oh, now, wait a minute there,
Roselli.
518
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,760
Don't be accusing me
of taking a bribe.
519
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:40,030
You know what they call that?
Definition of character.
520
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,767
Here's your wallet,
Mr. Bunker.
521
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:45,202
Sign here, please.
522
00:21:45,204 --> 00:21:49,206
Yeah, well, I'll sign, but
let me check it out first, huh?
523
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:50,407
You know,
I'm only sorry
524
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:53,277
that we weren't able to
get your money back too.
525
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:56,213
I can see that!
Where's my 50 bucks?
526
00:21:56,215 --> 00:21:57,381
Oh, didn't I tell you?
527
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:59,283
Andy Farrell,
the boy who robbed you--
528
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,650
Oh, excuse me.
529
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,786
The boy who
pulled a prank on you
530
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:05,655
said the wallet was empty
when he found it.
531
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:07,391
Hold it. Hold it, he said what?
532
00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:08,792
Yeah, we thought
it was strange too.
533
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,794
Especially since Andy
was carrying a roll of 50 bucks
534
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:12,595
on him when we picked him up.
535
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:14,864
Sure he was! That was my 50!
536
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:16,633
Ain't that
a coincidence!
537
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,201
That's what I said
to Chuck here.
538
00:22:18,203 --> 00:22:20,904
I said, "Chuck, I'll bet you
that's Mr. Bunker's dough."
539
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:23,606
You were right.
540
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:26,209
Then I said,
"No, I must be wrong.
541
00:22:26,211 --> 00:22:29,947
"How could I suspect
a sweet, innocent young boy,
542
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,083
especially when nobody's
pressing charges?"
543
00:22:34,218 --> 00:22:37,354
Sign here, please.
544
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,189
Yeah, all right.
545
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:40,924
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
546
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:45,128
Listen, I see what you police
are doing here.
547
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:46,596
Okay.
548
00:22:46,598 --> 00:22:48,432
There's the signature.
549
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:50,033
I gotta
get back to my cab.
550
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,801
Oh, Mr. Bunker?
Yeah?
551
00:22:51,803 --> 00:22:56,239
Was that your cab parked
out at the curb, 742-TA?
552
00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:58,708
Yeah, at the curb. Why?
553
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,877
You were parked
in a no-standing zone.
554
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,712
They just towed away
your cab.
555
00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,849
They can't do that to me!
556
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:07,784
I'm here on police business!
557
00:23:07,786 --> 00:23:09,086
I'm sorry, Mr. Bunker.
558
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:10,787
You can reclaim it
down at the pier.
559
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:11,788
Yeah, that's all right.
560
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,190
You just tell them
I sent you,
561
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:14,591
and they'll
give it back to you.
562
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:15,725
They will?
563
00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:17,294
Sure. For 50 bucks.
564
00:23:19,030 --> 00:23:20,630
Fifty bucks?
565
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:23,000
Look at this, from my wallet,
I'm out 50 bucks
566
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:24,201
and 50 bucks for the cab?
567
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,403
It cost me $100
to walk into this joint!
568
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,570
A hundred and twenty-five.
569
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:28,805
A hundred and twenty-five.
570
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,041
A hundred and twenty-five?
What for?
571
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:32,242
Twenty-five
for the parking ticket
572
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,611
you're gonna find
on your windshield.
573
00:23:41,452 --> 00:23:43,887
Oh, yeah.
574
00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:49,926
All right for youse guys.
575
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:51,395
Tell you something else,
576
00:23:51,397 --> 00:23:53,997
this here is highway robbery.
577
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,198
No, Mr. Bunker,
578
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,134
this here is justice.
579
00:24:14,318 --> 00:24:15,752
Hey! Hey,
look at this!
580
00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,787
"Farrell attorney Morrison
581
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:20,690
involved in $200,000
bribe attempt."
582
00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:22,325
Where's that?
Let me see.
583
00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:27,297
Morrison? Ain't that the lawyer
that gave you the $100?
584
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,766
Oh, holy cow. Look at this!
585
00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:34,538
Two hundred thousand dollars.
What a dirty thief!
586
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:36,273
Oh, you finally
learned something.
587
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,942
Yeah, I sure did.
588
00:24:38,944 --> 00:24:41,678
Don't ever take
the first offer.
589
00:25:00,764 --> 00:25:04,334
["REMEMBERING YOU" PLAYING]
590
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:08,305
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
591
00:25:08,355 --> 00:25:12,905
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