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00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,670
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,319
Don't keep talking about it,
that's all.
13
00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:56,921
If you can't talk intelligent
about the thing,
14
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,322
then don't talk
about it at all!
15
00:00:58,324 --> 00:00:59,490
Nice dinner.
16
00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,092
All I know is, what's
right is right.
17
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,093
Daddy, shh!
18
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:03,261
Don't shush me.
19
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:04,462
I'm talking to
your mother here.
20
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,897
This whole thing is
your mother's fault.
21
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,498
You understand that, Edith?
This is your fault.
22
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,100
Oh, Daddy, how could
it be Ma's fault?
23
00:01:09,102 --> 00:01:11,102
Because the kitchen
is her department.
24
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,103
She's responsible
for everything
25
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,304
that goes on
in the kitchen.
26
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:14,305
Ain't that right, Edith?
27
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,840
Yeah, that's
right, Archie.
28
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,075
That's why
it's your fault
29
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,045
that the refrigerator's
busted.
30
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:23,882
But I wasn't anywhere
near it when it broke.
31
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,316
That's my whole
point, Edith.
32
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,517
You should have
been near it
33
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,219
to keep an eye on it.
34
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:29,287
And you, Meathead,
35
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:30,689
what the hell
kind of a restaurant
36
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,323
is this you brung us into?
37
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:35,960
One of them everything-you-can-
throw-up-for-60¢ joints?
38
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:39,230
Archie, this happens to be
a nice French restaurant.
39
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:40,631
Ugh.
40
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:41,966
And it's called
The Gay Paris.
41
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:43,068
Ugh.
42
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,869
The Gay "Paree," Ma.
43
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:46,671
EDITH: Oh!
Aw, gay, gay, gay.
44
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,008
What'd you do,
bring us into a fag hangout?
45
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,610
Daddy, it's gay
as in "happy."
46
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,879
I know that.
47
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,315
We thought you'd like
this place.
48
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,617
What would make
you think that?
49
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,719
It's cheap.
50
00:02:03,255 --> 00:02:05,256
Funny.
51
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,592
Come on, Daddy,
relax and enjoy it.
52
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:10,028
How can I relax
and enjoy anything
53
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,696
after what
happened tonight?
54
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,098
It's still got
me shaking, Edith.
55
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,066
Look at that.
56
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,601
Oh, my.
57
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,603
I could have been hurt
back there at the house.
58
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,904
Maybe I could
have been killed.
59
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:21,039
From what?
60
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,574
From that guy back there
with the knife.
61
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,276
I never saw a guy with a knife.
62
00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:26,945
You never saw
no guy with a knife?
63
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,213
Then the part of your brain
64
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,614
that works your eyes
is burnt out.
65
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,216
I'm telling you
that guy had a knife.
66
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:32,683
I'm telling you he didn't.
67
00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:34,285
Wait a minute.
You can't both be right.
68
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,887
One of you has got to be wrong.
69
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,856
Yeah, him.
Yeah, him.
70
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,590
All I know is,
I come home tonight
71
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,359
expecting a nice, quiet,
peaceful evening.
72
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,427
You did not. You came home
like you always do,
73
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,729
mad at the world.
74
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,731
You're telling me
when I came in the door tonight,
75
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:47,966
I was mad at the world?
76
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,634
That's right. I remember
exactly what happened.
77
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,369
Gloria and I were sitting
on the couch
78
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,737
and you came storming
through the door.
79
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,440
[SLAMS]
80
00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:58,643
[GROWLING]
81
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:01,445
[ROARING]
82
00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,286
Hi, Arch.
Hi, Daddy.
83
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:09,353
[ROARING]
84
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,588
Get away from Gloria!
85
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,722
ARCHIE:
You're hurting her.
86
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:13,524
I just had my arm
around her.
87
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,226
You're all over her
all the time.
88
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,795
If the cops ever want
your fingerprints,
89
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,931
all they got to do
is process her!
90
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,066
I'm sorry
if our behavior
91
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,301
aggravates you.
92
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:24,669
We won't do it anymore.
93
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:25,870
That's right,
Daddy.
94
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,571
We mean
no disrespect.
95
00:03:27,573 --> 00:03:29,440
[ROARING]
You don't know what you mean!
96
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:30,441
Where's your mother?
97
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,542
Edith! Edith!
98
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,944
Hello, Archie!
99
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,245
How was your day?
100
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:37,048
[ROARING]
101
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,317
Oh, that's nice.
102
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:40,618
[ROARING]
103
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:41,652
Supper on the table.
104
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,653
No, but, Archie,
now, Archie--
105
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:44,055
Where's the supper
on the table?!
106
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,091
Supper on the table!
Supper on the table!
107
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,326
But, Archie,
108
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,428
we're gonna eat
out tonight.
109
00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,163
No, we ain't gonna
eat out tonight!
110
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,699
Daddy, there isn't
any supper.
111
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,500
Why ain't there
no supper on the table?
112
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,836
All the food
is spoiled.
113
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,603
The refrigerator's
on the blink again.
114
00:03:59,605 --> 00:04:00,939
The refrigerator's
on the blink again?
115
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,141
It ain't got no right
to be on the blink again.
116
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,475
It's only 15 years old!
117
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,277
If it's on the blink
again, it's your fault!
118
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:08,880
You're opening it and closing it
all the time to feed your face!
119
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,217
You dumb, meatheaded,
unemployed, oversexed
120
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:15,119
pinko professor of Polack, you!
121
00:04:17,689 --> 00:04:22,927
Those are not very kind things
to say,
122
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,429
but I'll try to do better.
123
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,531
I'll try to do
better too, Daddy.
124
00:04:32,938 --> 00:04:34,372
ARCHIE:
Oh, you got to tell lies
125
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,140
a whole lot better than that,Meathead,
126
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,808
if you expectanybody to believe you.
127
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,410
Now, I'll tell
youse all
128
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:41,145
the way it was
with me tonight.
129
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,714
I come home tonight
just like I always do,
130
00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:46,251
feeling good, happy as a clam,
131
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,353
expecting to spend
a nice, quiet evening
132
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,653
in the bosom of my family.
133
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:58,863
Good evening, everybody.
134
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,134
Hello, Michael.
Hello, Gloria.
135
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,335
BOTH:
Hello.
136
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,304
Oh, kissing again, huh?
137
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,806
That's nice.
138
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,341
I believe
young people should kiss
139
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,310
every chance they get.
140
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,511
Where's your mother?
141
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,545
Edith, dear.
142
00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:19,350
Oh, Edith, dear.
143
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:22,686
EDITH: Yeah,
what is it?
144
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:25,589
May I know what we're having
for supper tonight?
145
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:26,958
Nothing!
146
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,299
Oh, did she say nothing?
147
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,901
The refrigerator's
broken.
148
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,337
Oh, the refrigerator's broken.
149
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,771
Ain't that a shame?
150
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:44,008
Ah, well, heaven knows
we had our money's worth
151
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,343
out of that old box.
152
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,611
Hey! Hey! What kind
of a dirty crack is that?
153
00:05:49,781 --> 00:05:50,915
What did I say, Michael?
154
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,783
You insulted my husband!
155
00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:56,054
Well, I hope not.
156
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,956
You're saying I'm the one
that broke the refrigerator!
157
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,158
Well, I'm not the only one
that uses it, you know!
158
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,360
I'm not the only one
who eats around here, you know!
159
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,162
You eat 10 times
as much as I do,
160
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,763
so don't go making
dirty cracks like that!
161
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:06,764
Michael's right, Daddy.
162
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:07,832
He's right! He's always right!
163
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,267
Did you hear me?
He's always right!
164
00:06:20,812 --> 00:06:21,846
Well, of course he is.
165
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:25,249
He's a college boy.
166
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,785
I think
you two are taking me up wrong.
167
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,253
I realize
that there are four people
168
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:30,688
using the refrigerator
in this house,
169
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,590
and one of them's a student
who's doing brainwork
170
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,192
and needs all the food
he can eat,
171
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,593
and he's welcome to it.
172
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,761
It's delightful
to have a student in the house.
173
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:41,466
MICHAEL: You never said that.
174
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,867
"Delightful
having a student
175
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:43,968
around the house"?
176
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,836
You didn't say that at all,
Daddy.
177
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,838
Boy, I wish
I had a tape recording of you,
178
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,440
so you could hear
some of the things
179
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,641
you say sometimes.
180
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,176
I don't need one of them.
181
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:53,777
I can hear the way I talk
perfect.
182
00:06:53,779 --> 00:06:55,380
You only hear
what you want to hear.
183
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,382
You ought to hear yourself
the way we hear you.
184
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,649
Yeah, like the way
you talked
185
00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:00,584
to Ma tonight,
ordering her around.
186
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,286
You treated her
like a dog!
187
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:04,389
[DOORBELL RINGS]
188
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,490
Edith!
189
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:08,559
[WHISTLING]
190
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:09,894
Get in here!
191
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,564
Yeah, Archie,
what is it?
192
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:15,033
Answer that door.
193
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,034
Whoever it is,
194
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,835
tell them to get
the hell out of here.
195
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,237
Bark at them.
196
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:23,374
But I'm expecting
the refrigerator repairman.
197
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,808
At this time of the night?
198
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:27,745
Well,
he was too busy to come earlier.
199
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,181
So you invite him at this time
so's he can make overtime?
200
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,382
Can't you never
do nothing right?
201
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,783
Can't you never
do nothing right?
202
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,585
Can't you never do nothing
right? Can't you never--?
203
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:35,719
[DOORBELL RINGS]
204
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:36,854
I'll answer that!
205
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,089
Get away from the door!
206
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,357
Get away from there!
Get away!
207
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:40,758
Get back, get back!
Stay, stay!
208
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:53,804
And your final instruction
before I let this guy in here:
209
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,606
Don't you talk to him,
take up his time!
210
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,508
Understand? Don't say nothing!
211
00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:01,045
I got to tell him
where the refrigerator is.
212
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,382
All you got to do
is point to it, understand?
213
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,849
These guys charge by the minute,
214
00:08:05,851 --> 00:08:08,352
and I want this guy out of here
in five minutes flat!
215
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:09,454
Now, quiet, quiet!
216
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:10,821
Or you don't get no candy.
217
00:08:13,058 --> 00:08:14,825
ARCHIE:
What are you talking about?
218
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,494
I never said them thingsto Edith.
219
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,828
You did too.
220
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,430
You treated her
like a dog.
221
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,431
I did not!
222
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,599
I never told
her, "Stay."
223
00:08:21,601 --> 00:08:22,833
Did I ever tell
you "stay"?
224
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,835
No, Archie,
you didn't.
225
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:25,836
There, there.
226
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,172
You told me to sit.
227
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,910
I never said that
neither!
228
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:35,246
Oh, and I suppose you never
picked on that repairman
229
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:36,647
and his Uncle Tom of a helper?
230
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:39,150
Uncle Tom? What's Uncle Tom?
231
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,119
Archie,
an Uncle Tom is a black guy
232
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,920
who lets guys like you
walk all over him,
233
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:45,323
which is exactly what you did
from the minute they came in!
234
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:47,525
The doorbell rang,
and you said...
235
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,594
[HOWLING]
236
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:50,595
I'll get that!
237
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:51,496
Get away from the door!
238
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,001
Mr. Bunker?
239
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:59,470
That's right, and don't stand
there lounging out on the stoop.
240
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,872
I ain't paying you for that.
Come on in and start work.
241
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,608
Right you are,
Mr. Bunker.
242
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,609
Come on in, Jack.
243
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:05,976
What?
244
00:09:10,915 --> 00:09:12,216
Who are you?
245
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,354
I's the repairman's
helper, sir.
246
00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:21,592
You're a helper, huh?
247
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:24,495
What do you do,
help run up the bills?
248
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,764
Yassah! Yassah!
249
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:27,765
Oh, yassah, yassah,
yassah, yassah!
250
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,201
Anything you say, sir.
251
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,036
It's a beautiful night,
ain't it, sir?
252
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:33,271
No, it's lousy.
253
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,905
The icebox is broke.
254
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,907
All right, what time
you got starting here?
255
00:09:36,909 --> 00:09:38,576
Uh, 6:11.
256
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:42,580
I'm sympathizing my watch
with yours.
257
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,747
You know what I mean?
258
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:44,782
You mean, you're worried
259
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,817
you won't get a fair shake
on the time?
260
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,252
I mean, there ain't no use
261
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,853
in your trying to stretch out
the job,
262
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,955
because I know
exactly when you begun.
263
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:53,090
Okay, Mr. Bunker.
264
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,091
Got the tools, Jack?
265
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,092
Tools?
266
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:57,662
Oh, yeah, the tools!
267
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,363
I'll go get them
outs the truck
268
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:00,931
whilst you sizing up
the job.
269
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,032
Aw, look at this.
270
00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:03,434
It's going to take
all night long.
271
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,636
It's going to cost me
an arm and a leg here!
272
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,870
He forgot the tools
because between
273
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,272
his left ear
and his right ear,
274
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,575
they forgot to put
his brains!
275
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,943
That's not a very nice
thing to say, Archie.
276
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,478
You don't like
the things I say?
277
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,180
Then pack your bags
and am-scray!
278
00:10:18,883 --> 00:10:22,320
Michael, please don't
irritate Daddy like that.
279
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,354
You're right, Gloria.
280
00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,192
Archie... I'm sorry.
281
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:32,730
I apologize.
282
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,398
Can't we be friends?
283
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:40,638
Relax, Daddy, and--
And think about that nice dinner
284
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,440
we're going to have in that
wonderful restaurant tonight.
285
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,442
I'm going to go upstairs
and get ready now, Michael.
286
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,643
Where's your mother?!
Where's your mother?!
287
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,177
There she is!
288
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,213
Edith, what are you
doing over there?
289
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,748
What are you doing?
290
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,250
Ain't it bad enough
you're a dingbat?
291
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:54,619
You want to be
a bird dog too?
292
00:10:57,422 --> 00:10:59,957
Get that tail down!
293
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,059
Daddy, I think
she's just trying to show them
294
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,594
where the refrigerator is.
295
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,929
Why don't you
just talk to them?!
296
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,931
[MUMBLING]
297
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,333
What was that?
298
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,101
You told her not to speak.
299
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,603
Edith, speak,
speak!
300
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,306
Oh, thank you, Archie.
301
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,941
The refrigerator is
right this way, Mr., uh...?
302
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:18,942
Call me Bob.
303
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:20,311
Bob!
304
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,747
Ain't that interesting?
305
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,715
In my family,
we have--
306
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,850
Stifle that about
your stupid family
307
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,719
and let the man
get to work!
308
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:32,055
Oh, here come the tools,
here come the tools!
309
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:36,160
And what is your name?
310
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:38,596
Oh, you can call me anything,
ma'am,
311
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,631
just don't call me
late for dinner.
312
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,467
[LAUGHING ARTIFICIALLY]
313
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:46,170
ARCHIE: Hold it, hold it there.
314
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,371
What do you mean,
hold it?
315
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,340
This here story
you're telling is cockeyed.
316
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,741
Them two repair guys
at the house
317
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:52,543
is the exact opposite
of what you say,
318
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,544
and I ought to know.
319
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,145
I was the first guy
that seen them.
320
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:56,447
[DOORBELL RINGS]
321
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:58,449
Oh, I'll get that,
Edith, darling.
322
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,784
Don't disturb yourself.
323
00:12:06,024 --> 00:12:07,057
Are you Bunker?
324
00:12:14,199 --> 00:12:16,634
Yes, I am, and whom are you,
may I ask?
325
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,037
I come to fix your icebox.
326
00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,105
Oh, how nice of you
to come so quick.
327
00:12:22,107 --> 00:12:22,973
Won't you step inside?
328
00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:25,309
Come on in, Jack.
329
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,678
Oh, you got a helper
with you, huh?
330
00:12:34,052 --> 00:12:35,953
Black is beautiful, baby.
331
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,090
Beautiful.
332
00:12:45,563 --> 00:12:46,631
I know what I know.
333
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,232
That guy was one of them
Black-Power Mau-Maus
334
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,967
armed to the teeth.
335
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,335
Come on, Arch,
he wasn't armed.
336
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,337
He was armed. He had
a knife a foot long.
337
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,739
It was as sharp
as a razor.
338
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,840
You're lying.
339
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,742
I ain't lying.
I know what I seen,
340
00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,377
and I can also see
right inside them guys.
341
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,846
I know what I'm talking about,
342
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:03,447
but what's the sense
in talking to you?
343
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,715
You don't believe nothing I say.
344
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,316
You don't believe nothing
unless you read it
345
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:08,119
in one of them
pinko left-wing magazines.
346
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,689
I wonder why
they call them "left-wing."
347
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,891
Politics, Edith, politics.
348
00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:15,126
That's all.
349
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,460
Conservatives are called
right-wing
350
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,363
because they're right.
351
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:24,135
Pinkos are called left-wing
because they're wrong.
352
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,037
You're the one who's wrong.
353
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,972
You're wrong about everything
that happened tonight.
354
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,606
I ain't wrong!
355
00:13:29,608 --> 00:13:30,975
Shh!
356
00:13:33,578 --> 00:13:35,412
I was just like
a perfect gentleman.
357
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:38,649
I opened up that door,
and that colored guy walked in
358
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,117
and stepped all over me.
359
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:42,019
Hey, what you
trying to do, man,
360
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,954
freeze a dude
to death out here?
361
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,022
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
362
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:47,024
I know it gets cold
out there on the stoop.
363
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:48,025
Come right in.
364
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,393
Please, come right in.
365
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,295
Uh, now, let me
see, gentlemen,
366
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,164
is the time,
what, 6:30?
367
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,498
What do you mean, 6:30?
368
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,966
It's 10 after 6.
369
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:58,035
You're trying to do us
out of 20 minutes' time.
370
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,236
No, no, I beg your pardon.
371
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,571
My watch is fast.
372
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:01,706
Oh, sure.
373
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:02,707
You hear that, Jackie?
374
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,908
They're all alike.
375
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,442
All trying to get
something for nothing.
376
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,978
Well, he gets
nothing from us, man.
377
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,947
You best tell the dude
this house call
378
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:13,450
gonna cost him
32 bills, for openers.
379
00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:15,753
And 16 bucks for
every five minutes
380
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,287
after the half-hour.
381
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,523
Very reasonable.
382
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:26,330
Glad you see it
our way.
383
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,732
You got the
tools, Jackie?
384
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,734
Oh, yeah, I'll
go get the tools.
385
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,235
[MUTTERING]
386
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:33,104
And I'm going to take
my time getting them.
387
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,671
Oh, sure, sure.
388
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,640
No rush, no rush
at all there.
389
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,709
No rush at all.
390
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,078
Well, while
we're waiting,
391
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,813
I might as well make
myself comfortable.
392
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,314
Oh, certainly,
certainly. Sit down.
393
00:14:44,316 --> 00:14:45,716
Take a load off
your feet here,
394
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,284
I always say.
395
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:48,719
And your helper's
pretty smart too.
396
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,188
You know, never take
the tools off the truck
397
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,623
until you're
ready to work.
398
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,658
Hey, what kind of
a racial crack is that?
399
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,326
Did I make a racial crack?
400
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:57,962
Yes, you did,
and don't do it again.
401
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,497
Michael,
I hate to disagree with you,
402
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,499
but I don't think
I made no racial crack.
403
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:05,335
Don't you yell at my husband
like that!
404
00:15:11,509 --> 00:15:13,144
Now, Edith, Edith,
that's a father's job.
405
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:14,945
Now, let me take
over here.
406
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:16,346
Aw, don't cry,
honey.
407
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,749
I made you
feel bad, huh?
408
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,251
What'd I do to you?
409
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,853
You want to know what you did?
I'll tell you what you did.
410
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,822
You yelled at my husband,
you monster!
411
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,424
Oh...
412
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,894
Gee, I'm awful sorry
I upset your husband.
413
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,495
How can I make it up to you?
414
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,664
You tell him you're sorry!
415
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,867
All right,
I'll do that right now.
416
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:37,734
Wait here.
417
00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:43,440
Gee, Michael, I'm awful sorry,
and I apologize.
418
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,642
Okay, but watch it!
419
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:46,643
I will.
420
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:47,845
Did you hear
what he said?
421
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:48,846
You watch it!
422
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,047
I will.
423
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,849
All right, I'm going
upstairs to get ready now,
424
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:54,384
so you can take us
to our favorite restaurant!
425
00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,286
I'll pay.
426
00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:00,224
Well, Edith, don't you
think it's about time
427
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,392
we should be showing
our guest here
428
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:03,560
where to start work?
429
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,628
JACK: Hey,
hey, hey!
430
00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:08,065
You trying to rush us?
431
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,800
No, no, no, no, no, no!
432
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,202
Take all the time in the world.
433
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,370
Come on, Jack,
let's get it over with.
434
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:14,571
My wife pulled
the refrigerator
435
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:16,773
out from the wall there
to make it easy for you.
436
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:17,774
Hey, hey!
437
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:20,311
Whoa! Gee.
In there.
438
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,812
Hey!
439
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,914
Will you look
at this antique?
440
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:25,716
An old Freeze King.
441
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,819
Must have delivered that
in a horse and wagon.
442
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,087
Hey, whitey!
443
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,323
Did it come in
a horse and wagon?
444
00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:38,762
I love to be kidded
by youse guys,
445
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,265
but, uh...
446
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,967
do you think maybe
you could start working
447
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,101
on the refrigerator there?
448
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,135
What did you say?
449
00:16:46,437 --> 00:16:49,940
I don't remember.
450
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,275
MICHAEL:
Of course you don't remember,
451
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,476
because it wasnothing like that.
452
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:54,711
You were very rough
on those guys.
453
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:57,447
What? I treated them two guys
like perfect gentlemen,
454
00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:58,648
and what's the thanks I get?
455
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,251
The colored guy
threatens me with a knife.
456
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,619
He never threatened you.
457
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,221
That Uncle Tom
didn't even have a knife.
458
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,589
Before it
broke down,
459
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,992
was the light working,
Mrs. Bunker?
460
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,559
Well, off and on.
461
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,028
How do you mean?
462
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,098
Well, on
when I opened the door...
463
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:27,411
and off when I closed it.
464
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,646
Edith, Edith, get away
from here, will you?
465
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,916
Pal, whenever you talk to her,
you're going to lose money,
466
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:34,919
because I'm deducting
all conversation time here!
467
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,954
[CHEWING LOUDLY]
468
00:17:40,691 --> 00:17:43,593
What is that noise
I hear?
469
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,095
The noise
of an apple.
470
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,430
What are you doing
471
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:47,864
eating an apple
on working time?
472
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:52,303
Oh, Mr. Bunker, we ain't had
a meal break all day.
473
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,437
Please, let me eat.
474
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:56,073
Don't raise your
hands to me!
475
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,142
Oh, I didn't mean nothing.
476
00:17:58,144 --> 00:17:59,910
I just trying to get along.
477
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,745
Give me a hand here,
will you, Jack?
478
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,081
Oh, yeah.
Excuse me, sir.
479
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,549
Look out!
480
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,418
What you doing there
with the fruit?
481
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,554
You appled all
over my shirt!
482
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,056
Oh, uh, I sorry, sir.
483
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,623
Hey, you nut!
484
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,994
You ain't supposed to touch
a white person's clothes
485
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,728
with a white person in them.
486
00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:23,867
ARCHIE:
I never said no such thing.
487
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,235
You're crazy.
488
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:28,572
You're letting your
imagination run rancid.
489
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,374
I don't see
what's so wrong
490
00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,509
with the man wanting
to eat an apple.
491
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:34,578
The man wasn't
really hungry.
492
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:35,779
Don't you understand?
493
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,381
He was just doing that
to waste time.
494
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,149
Now, if youse will alllisten to me,
495
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,785
I'll tell you the wayit really went.
496
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,653
[CHEWING]
497
00:18:46,424 --> 00:18:48,092
What's that noise
I hear?
498
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,894
Ah, having a little snack
for yourself, huh?
499
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,929
Yeah, I'm having
a little snack,
500
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,664
and, uh, you don't
mind if I have
501
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,266
a little snack there,
do you, Bunker?
502
00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:04,408
No.
503
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,643
Eat, eat, eat.
504
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,380
Jack, it looks like
a simple wire job.
505
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,882
Man, you called us just in time.
506
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,451
You got to watch out for them
old raggedy wires, you know,
507
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:16,220
because you touch them
and, like, zzt!
508
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:18,755
You a fried man, man.
509
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:21,591
Yeah, well, uh,
do you have to keep
510
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,127
waving that thing around?
511
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,928
Hey, don't be telling me
what to do, man.
512
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:27,231
No, no, no, I'll leave
everything up to you.
513
00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:30,134
You know what, man?
514
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,568
This chump here
tightens my jaws.
515
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:32,903
Oh, uh--
516
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,104
What?
517
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,705
Oh, nothing, except,
no, no, it was just
518
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:38,342
a little apple on my shirt,
which is always nice.
519
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,680
And what is that
supposed to mean?
520
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,681
Ah...
521
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:45,715
Forget it, pal.
522
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:47,518
Let's get the job
done and blow.
523
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,952
Oh, no, man.
524
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,854
You know something?
525
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,756
You irritate me.
526
00:19:54,725 --> 00:19:57,061
Oh, maybe we can sit down
and discuss it,
527
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,463
and I'll learn
how to improve myself.
528
00:20:03,834 --> 00:20:06,636
MICHAEL: You're crazy!You are crazy!
529
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:08,772
You never talked that
rational in your life.
530
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,641
I don't talk rational
because I make sense.
531
00:20:13,945 --> 00:20:15,345
Ma, you were there.
532
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:17,581
Did Jack really pull
a knife on Daddy?
533
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:20,451
Well,
kind of yes and no.
534
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:21,718
Of course he didn't.
535
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,720
Of course he did!
536
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,921
Did not!
Wait a minute.
537
00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:26,323
I want to find out
from Ma
538
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,558
what really happened.
539
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,025
Oh, jeez,
that's all we need,
540
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:31,695
a dingbat's-eye view.
541
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:32,696
Go on, Ma.
542
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:34,331
Well, now, let's see.
543
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:37,267
I remember
Jack was eating an apple,
544
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,936
and he wanted to know
if Archie wanted some.
545
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,738
You want a piece
of my apple, Mr. Bunker?
546
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,340
No, I hate apple pieces.
547
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:45,642
And don't be waving that shiv
around there, will you?
548
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,676
That's dangerous.
549
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:48,011
What, this little thing?
550
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,218
That's right,
that little thing.
551
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,319
In ancient Rome,
552
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,922
they killed Sid Caesar
with a bunch of them.
553
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,297
You're eating an apple
on the job, anyhow.
554
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:09,933
We got to eat on the run
in this job, Mr. Bunker.
555
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,135
We've been so busy today,
556
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:13,137
we haven't even had time
to go to the john.
557
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,138
Oh, well, stay busy,
558
00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:15,339
because you can't use
our john.
559
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,773
It's broke.
560
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:20,043
Oh, Archie, I was
just upstairs--
561
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,911
[MOUTHING]
Shut up!
562
00:21:23,781 --> 00:21:26,550
Jack, will you
give me a hand here?
563
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:27,551
Yeah, sure.
564
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,552
Excuse me, sir.
565
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,020
Hey, watch where
you're going.
566
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:31,255
Look what you
done there.
567
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:33,923
You got apple all over
the front of my shirt.
568
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:35,459
Oh, I'm very sorry, sir.
569
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,093
I was just trying to get by.
570
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,295
Sorry don't help me, boy.
571
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,630
Now I got to change the shirt.
572
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:43,333
Hey, I don't like that.
573
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,101
You don't like what?
574
00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:47,003
You called me boy.
575
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:49,105
I'm not a boy. I'm a man.
576
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,441
Well, all right, you're a man.
I'm a man too.
577
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:53,443
Jeez, I don't go around
making a point of it.
578
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:57,013
You never had
to make a point of it.
579
00:21:58,616 --> 00:22:00,284
Yeah, well, all right--
Hey, listen!
580
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:01,685
I got an idea.
581
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:02,686
I don't think
you guys
582
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:04,087
have to work
on this job anymore.
583
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:05,689
Why don't you just
pack up your tools,
584
00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:07,023
and you can go?
585
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,158
Well, we're almost finished.
586
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,160
All we have to do
is fix the loose wire.
587
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,961
No, no, no, no,
I got a better idea.
588
00:22:11,963 --> 00:22:12,962
Just let
it hang there.
589
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:13,963
Just let it hang.
590
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,165
Pack up your tools
and leave.
591
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,866
You mean
you want us to go?
592
00:22:16,868 --> 00:22:18,669
You want me
to spell it out for you?
593
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,738
L-E-E-V. leave.
594
00:22:23,007 --> 00:22:24,274
Okay, it's your money,
Mr. Bunker.
595
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:25,275
Pack it up, Jack.
596
00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:26,276
Right.
597
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,477
I still have to charge you
598
00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:29,012
for a house call, $18.
599
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,880
Oh, sure, sure,
well, I expected that.
600
00:22:30,882 --> 00:22:33,083
Here we are,
one, two, three,
601
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:36,420
and eight, and 10
is 18, all set.
602
00:22:36,422 --> 00:22:37,954
Goodbye, lady,
603
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:39,889
and good luck.
604
00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:40,890
Bye, ma'am.
605
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:41,958
Bye, and thank you.
606
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,393
ARCHIE: Yeah,
thanks a million.
607
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:44,894
Arch, what are you
thanking them for?
608
00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:46,663
You just spent
18 bucks for nothing.
609
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:47,964
For nothing?
No, no.
610
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,366
For that 18 bucks,
he showed me
611
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,800
where the loose
wire is here.
612
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:52,769
See? That's all
I have to know.
613
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:55,239
Now I'm going to save myself
some money
614
00:22:55,241 --> 00:22:57,741
by fixing up that
loose wire myself, huh?
615
00:22:57,743 --> 00:22:58,942
Arch, I don't know.
616
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:00,344
I don't think
you should do that.
617
00:23:00,346 --> 00:23:01,612
Will you keep
your mouth shut
618
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:02,912
and keep
your eyes open,
619
00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:04,781
and maybe you'll
learn something.
620
00:23:21,032 --> 00:23:24,801
MICHAEL: I don't think
you should have done that.
621
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,603
And now it's going
to cost you even more
622
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,805
when another repairman
has to come tomorrow.
623
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:30,474
Don't blame me,
little girl.
624
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:32,976
It ain't my fault.
It's your mother's fault.
625
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:35,044
And you, Edith, that story
you was telling here.
626
00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:36,045
That ain't the truth.
627
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:37,213
Oh, yeah,
honest, Archie.
628
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,616
That's the way
it really happened.
629
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:41,017
Oh, wait a second, Ma,
not quite.
630
00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,419
Remember,
Jack didn't really have a knife.
631
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,454
What are you talking about?
632
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:45,789
He had a big switchblade,
633
00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:47,257
one of them Harlem gang knives.
634
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,692
Did he, Ma?
635
00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:51,027
Well, I guess
your father knows
636
00:23:51,029 --> 00:23:52,529
what they call them.
637
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:53,963
You're damn right
I know.
638
00:23:53,965 --> 00:23:55,766
Well, I got
the knife with me.
639
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:56,767
I picked it up.
640
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,067
Jack must have
dropped it
641
00:23:58,069 --> 00:24:00,036
when he was
picking up his tools.
642
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,571
Yeah, here it is.
643
00:24:03,974 --> 00:24:07,143
That's the terrible
switchblade?
644
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:10,213
Archie,
when we was kids,
645
00:24:10,215 --> 00:24:13,717
I think we called
this a pen knife.
646
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:16,085
That's a switchblade, huh?
Look at that thing.
647
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,521
It couldn't even
cut butter.
648
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:21,391
Hey, Michael, you said
that there was no knife.
649
00:24:23,661 --> 00:24:24,795
Did I say that?
650
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:25,962
Yeah, that's
what you said.
651
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,096
Yeah, you did.
652
00:24:27,098 --> 00:24:28,131
You're as bad
as Daddy.
653
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,499
You're as bad as me.
654
00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:32,803
Wait a second,
wait a second.
655
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,604
All right, so I got
the knives mixed up,
656
00:24:34,606 --> 00:24:36,005
but the way
you talk about it,
657
00:24:36,007 --> 00:24:37,040
it was a machete.
658
00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:38,508
I didn't say nothing
about a machete.
659
00:24:38,510 --> 00:24:41,077
Don't be bringing
the spics into this here.
660
00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:43,580
[ALL ARGUING]
661
00:24:43,582 --> 00:24:45,449
Mesdames, messieurs...
662
00:25:00,130 --> 00:25:03,900
[♪]
663
00:25:03,902 --> 00:25:06,570
All in the Family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
664
00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:11,170
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