All language subtitles for All In The Family s03e16 See.eng

♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪

♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪

♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

♪ And you knew
Where you were then ♪

♪ Girls were girls
And men were men ♪

♪ Mister, we could use a man
Like Herbert Hoover again ♪

♪ Didn't need
No welfare state ♪

♪ Everybody pulled
His weight ♪

♪ Gee, our old LaSalle
Ran great ♪

♪ Those were the days ♪

Oh, hello, Archie.

Did you have a nice day?

Edith, I'm gonna
turn around slow

and let you have
a look at my face.

Then you tell me what
kind of a day I had.

EDITH:
That bad, huh?

Yeah, and to top
everything off,

tonight on the subway
was worse than ever.

I come down
on that platform

and it's absolutely
jammed, Edith,

and I says,
"God, if that train comes in

"and there's an empty seat
on the train,

"I'm gonna give Edith 5 bucks
for church on Sunday."

And I says,
"God, if there happens to be

"on that empty seat
a newspaper,

"I'll go with Edith to church

and I'll give you
the 5 bucks myself."

What happened?

The train comes in
and so help me,

there's an empty seat
on that train,

and you ain't gonna
believe this,

but on the empty seat
there's a newspaper.

Oh, Archie, ain't
that wonderful?!

Your prayers were answered.

Hold it, Edith.

Hold it, hold it,
hold it.

The newspaper on the
seat was this here.

Does that mean you ain't
going to church with me?

That's right.

The Jewish Daily Forward
ain't exactly the answer

to my prayer.

What about the $5
for the church?

Oh, no, that's canceled.

Why don't you give the $5
to a synagogue?

I'll give $5 to a synagogue

on the day that I can do the
crossword puzzle in this paper.

Take it.

Oh, thank you, Archie.

I wonder
where the puzzle is.

I wonder where
the supper is, Edith.

Right away, Archie.

What's the matter with you,
Meathead?

Can't you understand English
over there?

Come on,
clear the table for supper.

The library is closed.

Right away, Arch.

No back talk from you?

Why should there be
any back talk?

You told Ma
to get dinner ready,

so I'm clearing
the table.

When you're right,
you're right.

Thank you very much.

Doesn't happen often...

but when it does,

I like to share
the experience with you.

Get away from me!
Get away from me!

Goodbye.

Aw, gee, Edith. Edith!

Yeah.

Edith, how can anybody read
in this room?

Why don't you get
more powerful bulbs

for the lights in here?

Oh, Archie, it ain't the light.

It's what I've been
trying to tell you...

Now, listen, listen,
don't start that again.

Oh, but Archie--

I never wore glasses
in my whole life,

and I ain't going
to start now.

But it's nothing
to be ashamed of.

It's nature.

Everybody has
a little trouble

seeing the words close-up

after they pass
a certain age.

I tell you it ain't age!

It's the ink they're using
in the paper.

It ain't as black
as it used to be.

They're probably watering
it down

like everything else
you buy nowadays.

Go out and get the supper!

Right away!

Getting about time
to have your arms lengthened,

huh, Arch?

Maybe you ought
to get glasses, huh?

Get away from me, huh?

I mean, I saw the way
you were reading the paper.

You might as well get glasses.
It'd be a lot easier for you.

Holding them out
like that? Will you...

Will you get
away from me?!

Oh, my goodness.

How did you get into a fight
so quick?

This guy came downstairs.

What happened?
I don't know.

I made a joke about the way
he was reading the paper.

He goes bananas.

Oh, Archie,
I know how you feel,

but just because
you need glasses

don't mean nothing.

Well, look at me.

I've needed glasses
for years,

and you're older
than I am.

That's only because
I was born first.

Hi, everybody.

Hi.
Oh, hi, Gloria.

Hi, Ma.

I'll set the table.

Hi, Daddy.

What about me?

I saved the best
for last.

Ah.

Oh, look at this here.

She hasn't even got
her coat off,

and he's jumping on her.

[SEXY VOICE] Well,
then I'll take it off, Daddy.

Cut that out!

You're in a good mood tonight.
What happened?

Did you get a seat on
the subway?

Better than that.

I got a ride all the way
home from work.

Yeah?
Who gave you a lift?

Mr. Clifton, the
buyer in cosmetics.

Since when are you
so chummy with him?

Michael,
you're not jealous, are you?

No, I just don't
like you riding around

with strange men,
that's all.

Oh, Michael,
he's in his late 40s.

He's old enough
to be my father.

Hey, hey,
what kind of a crack is that?!

Nothing. What'd I say?

You know
what you said.

What's going on?

Archie's worried
about getting old.

I ain't worried about that,

and I don't want to hear
nothing more about old

in this house!

Come on.
Let's eat supper.

Uh, Daddy, did you
pick up my watch?

What watch?

My wristwatch,
the one that's being repaired.

No, I didn't pick it up.

Why didn't you remind me
about it last night?

I did remind you
last night.

You said you would.

I don't remember that.

Sure, Arch, it was at dinner.
I heard you.

You didn't hear that
because I didn't say that,

and you didn't say nothing
about it neither.

Wait a second.
Ma heard you too, right, Ma?

No, I don't remember.

When you get older,
you forget...

Oh, no, Archie!

No! I didn't mean you.
I meant me.

I don't wanna hear
nothing more

about getting old
at this table!

In fact, I don't want
to hear nothing

about nothing!

Arch, everybody gets old...

EDITH: Archie,
where are you going?

I'm going to where youse people
have been sending me

for the last half hour,

to the old folks' home.

And on the way,

I'm gonna stop off
at Kelsey's Bar,

and I'm gonna
have a couple of beers.

And maybe for my dinner,
I'll gum down a few pretzels.

So you get the
picture, see?

There's this big crate
on the ground,

and we got to get it up
onto the loading platform.

Now, we got all
these young wise guys

standing around
staring at it

like they never heard
of the word "muscle," see?

So I call over
to Petey Brobich,

"Petey, come on.
Give me a hand here."

Petey gets one end
of it, see,

with his hands, and I get
the other end here.

Mind you, this is
a 500-pound crate.

We grabbed that crate

and alley-oop
off the ground,

right up like a feather,
onto the platform.

What do you
think of that?

Well, you was
in pretty good shape

in them days, Arch.

What the hell do you mean,
"in them days"?

Well, Petey Brobich
dropped dead

more than 15 years ago.

Fifteen years?
You're crazy.

No, no.
I remember it well.

It was my first
anniversary in this bar.

I was serving free eats.

Petey comes in,

takes one of
my hard-boiled eggs

and drops dead.

ARCHIE:
That long ago.

Gee, where does time
fly to, anyway.

Let me have a beer.

Yeah, coming up.

Hey, Kelsey,
how old would you say I looked?

Arch,
at bartender college,

they taught us three things
you don't talk about:

politics,
religion, and age.

We stick to the safe subjects
like taxes,

which everybody's against.

And women, which
everybody's for.

Hey, that's
pretty good, huh?

Yeah.
[CASH REGISTER RINGS]

Uh, hey, excuse me.

Don't I know you
from someplace?

I don't know. You tell me.

Well, to me you kind of look
like the Mulheron family...

I got it. I got it.

You're Bill Mulheron's
kid brother.

Better than that.
I'm Bill Mulheron.

No.

Sure am.

You're Bill Mul--

Uh-huh.

Well, I'll be. You are.

Hey, come over here!

How are you?
How you been?

Great, great.

Just great.

Now can I ask
you a question?

Yeah, sure.
Who are you?

You don't remember me,
Archie Bunker?

Archie Bunker?

I thought you were dead.

No. No, I'm still alive.

Gee.

Well, I ain't seen you
in a long time.

How long has it been--
15, 20 years?

Are you kidding?

Closer to 30.

What? 30 years?

I can't get over it.

Well, what brings you back
to the old neighborhood?

I'm meeting a friend here.

Oh, yeah.

Gee, Bill, you don't look
a day older.

I mean, what are you doing?
Taking shots?

No, just work out
every day,

take care of myself,
keep myself in shape.

The most important thing
is up here.

You gotta be young
in your head.

Well, I heard of that.

Hey, hey, Kelsey.

Say hello to an old friend
of mine, Bill Mulheron.

Shake hands with Kelsey here.

Hiya, Kelsey.

Put a head on these beers.

No, no, no, no!
Just one a night.

So you two guys
know each other?

Sure! We was in the same
high school class together.

You're kidding.

Yep, that's right.

Same age,
believe it or not.

You've gotta watch

that middle-age
spread, Arch.

Be right back.

I'm going to
the boys' room.

Ah.

You're the same age
as him?

Yeah.

But you look like you got
10, 15 years on him.

Why don't you go back
to bartender's college

and take a course
in Shut Up?

MICHAEL: What are you
talking about?

You're a meathead
and you always will be!

Don't you know enough
not to walk into a toilet

when there's
somebody in there?

I didn't know
you were in there.

The door was half open.

It was also half closed,

and that's the part
you got to respect.

What are you, upset

because I caught you in there
checking for bald spots?

I wasn't doing that!

Then what were you doing
using Gloria's mirror,

checking the back of your head
in the bathroom mirror?

Looking for dandruff.

Come on, Archie.

You were checking
for fallen hair.

I was not. I haven't lost
any hair in over a year.

Oh, yeah?

Then what was that hair
doing on your comb?

Maybe I'm growing new hair.
Did you ever think of that?

What?!

That's right, that hair
you seen on the comb.

That's the old hair,

which the new hair growing in
is pushing out.

Archie,
where are you going?

I got your lunch all ready.

I'm going down to Kelsey's Bar,

where a man can go
into the toilet

without attracting a crowd.

Arch...

Can I eat your lunch?

Get away from me.

Daddy, hi.
Get away from me.

What's wrong
with him?

He's still hung up
on that age thing.

Oh, yeah,
he's so worried about it,

he don't act natural no more.

If he ain't yelling about it,
he's sitting there staring.

Like the other evening
when you two were out,

he sat through
the whole 7:00 news

without blowing one raspberry
at Walter Cronkite.

Well, remember how
funny you acted, Ma?

I mean, when you were
going through the change?

Oh, I don't think
Archie's getting hot flashes.

No.

But that's why he's been
so moody lately.

Well, he was up
early this morning

doing his exercises.

Daddy was exercising?

Oh, yeah.

He tried
to touch his toes.

Did he make it?

Yeah, after he sat down.

You know what it is?
It's the capitalist system.

That's right. That's right.

It's Madison Avenue selling us
a phony youth culture.

I mean, if you're not
young and beautiful,

you're not worth a damn.

What's wrong
with being young and beautiful?

Well, nothing,
if that's what you are,

but what's wrong
with being older and beautiful?

You know, Michael's right.

It's like all those ladies
having their faces lifted

and their breasts lifted.

Just last week, in the paper,
a woman had her bottom lifted.

Oh, my.

Wouldn't that make her
too tall to sit down?

Thanks, fellows.
See you soon.

Hi there, Kelsey.

Oh, hi, Arch.
BILL: Hey, Arch!

How are you?

Oh, hiya there, Bill.

What, are you making
a habit of this joint?

I'm meeting
another friend.

Oh.

Sit down, Arch,
you look beat.

Kelse! Bring over
a beer for Arch.

Yeah, I'm beat
all right.

Walking over here now,

I felt something brushing
at my heels.

I looked down,
it was my butt.

You ought to start
exercising, Arch.

That'll perk you up.

Are you kidding?
I tried that this morning.

That's what's
got me the way I am.

Jeez, how do you do it?
How do you stay so young?

It's like I told you
before, Arch.

The secret is up here.

You want to stay young,
you think young.

And wait'll you get a load
of the young friend

that's meeting me.

One look at her and you feel
10 years younger.

Ah, you're meeting a girl
in here, huh, Bill?

When she gets here,
call me Brad.

Brad? What for?

Well, it sounds younger.

"Bill" ain't got
no pizzazz to it.

People start calling
you Brad, and you...

you feel like a Brad.

Besides, my girlfriend's
crazy about that name.

Yeah, but wait a minute.

Didn't I hear long ago
that you got married?

That's right, I'm married--
22 years.

Oh.

You're fooling around, huh?

Now, look, Arch.

You take some
of your most famous men--

Pablo Picasso,
that great painter...

over 80 and still going strong.

Why? Because he keeps
marrying young girls.

Then you take
that other Pablo...

Casals.

Oh, yeah, the welterweight.

No, no, no, the cello player.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Over 90
and still fiddling around.

Why? Because he's married
to a young chick.

Well, what are you
telling me?

That you're gonna
get married again?

No, I wouldn't do nothing
to hurt my family.

Look, Arch,
I figure this way:

I'm doing my wife a big favor
by keeping young for her.

You married, Arch?

Oh, me. Yeah, sure.
24 years.

Uh-huh. You ever,
uh, fool around?

Oh, sure.

Well, uh, how much
fooling around do you do?

Enough.

Enough. Well, does that mean
more than once?

Oh, no,
come on, now there, Bill--

Brad.

Uh, Brad, there.

You know, you ain't going
to get no information,

because I ain't one of your...

what do you call...
kiss-and-tellers.

Hi, Brad.

Tina!

Oh, am I late?

Oh, baby,
you're never late.

Whenever you show up,
it's just the right time.

Oh, Brad, you're so
corny, but I love it.

[LAUGHING]

Oh! Tina, I want you to meet
an old friend of mine.

This is...

Uh, Greg Bunker.

Yeah. Yeah,
Greg, Greg Bunker.

This is Tina.

Hi.

Oh, I'm pleased to make
your acquaintanceship, Tina.

Oh!

Sit down, Tina,
and I'll order some drinks.

Ah, well, youse two
are together.

I'll be in
the way here.

No, no. Sit down, relax.
Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah,
you're gonna join us.

All right.

It'll be good for you...
up here.

Uh, honey, excuse me
just for a couple of minutes.

I got to make
a couple of phone calls,

and then I'm all yours.

Can I, uh, trust you two
while I'm gone?

Aw, come on.

Oh, I don't know
about that, Brad.

Your friend's awful cute.

Aw, cut it out.

You just watch yourself,
honey,

because Greg here
has always been

a big guy
with the ladies.

Aw, get out of here.

Vodka gimlet for the lady.

Uh... Tina, huh?

Right.

Uh, do you mind if I ask you
a question, Greg?

No, go ahead.

Well, do you ever
take your hat off?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
I take my hat off.

Oh, what a difference!

Now, why would you want to hide
all that beautiful hair?

[CHUCKLES] Come on.

You like the hair, huh?

I love it.

Well, listen, don't let
that color fool you.

You know the old saying--

just because there's snow
on the roof

don't mean there ain't
no fire in the furnace.

Oh, that's so funny.

Ain't you never
heard that before?

Yes.

But I love the way
you say it.

Yeah, well,
I got a lot of them.

Oh, I'll, uh, tell you
a little secret, Greg,

but don't tell Brad.

No, no.

I just love gray hair
on a man.

Yeah.

Well, see,
I'll tell you about this gray.

See, this gray ain't
what you call old gray.

See, I had this gray
since I was in my 20s.

Like, it come on me overnight.

Oh, well,
did something bad happen?

Yeah, the Giants
moved to California.

You are so funny.

Excuse me.

Would you like a little
something with your drinks?

Peanuts, pretzels,
Vitamin E?

Uh...

That'll be all, waiter.

Well, Tina, here's how--

Well, I know how.

Just say when.

Hey, that's a swiftie,
there.

Now, you're kind of cute.

Hey,
Brad better be careful

or somebody's going
to steal you from him.

Oh, nobody has
to steal me, Greg.

You could borrow me for $20.

Huh?

Too expensive?

Oh, come on, Tina,
you're kidding me, ain't you?

No. No, I'm not kidding.

But, Tina, I mean...

if you was to take
20 bucks off a guy,

that would make you
one of them...

That's right.
I'm a working girl.

Oh.

And today
you're working for Brad, huh?

Well, yeah.
Well, he pays.

I mean, why else
would I go out with him?

Oh, what do you know
about that?

A beautiful-looking young girl
like you.

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself!

Does your mother know
what you're doing?

Yes, she does.

Does your mother know
what you're doing?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Tell Brad

he knows where to find me
if he wants me...

Blue Eyes.

Holy cow.

Even the neighborhood bar
ain't sacred no more.

Where's Tina?

Where's Tina?

Tina left.

She left?
Where'd she go?

Oh, she said you'd find her
at her place.

You... Your young girls
keeping you young.

You didn't tell me
you was paying for them.

She "prepositioned" me
right here.

What's the difference?

Young is young.

Yeah, sure, Brad.

Damn it,
I got the wrong glasses!

Hey, what's the matter
with you there, Brad?

You having trouble
with your eyesight?

Give me the book.

Hey, I'll read that for you.

Yeah, Tina:
341 Groton Place.

Thanks, Arch.

Hey, before you leave,

can I buy you a drink,
there, old-timer?

Some other time.

Well, all I got to say is
whoop-dee-do.

I got some news
for you, Kelsey.

You see that Bill Mulheron guy

just walked out the door there,
huh?

Well, he may look young,
but he sure don't think young.

That young girl over there?

Paying for her.

No.

Yeah.

Now, will you tell me something?

Why do guys worry
about getting old?

Now, that's a question

for bigger minds
than ours, Arch.

[GRUNTS IN AGREEMENT]

Yeah. You know something?

That might be a good question
for "Dear Abe-y."

Give me another beer.

Can you see better
with your glasses, Archie?

Yeah, Edith, I can see
a whole lot better,

but the news
ain't no better.

Let's see what we got
on the TV.

ANNOUNCER: From CBS News
Headquarters in New York,

this is the CBS Evening News
with Walter Cronkite.

But Archie,
he ain't said nothing yet.

He will.

[♪]

ANNOUNCER: All in the Family
was recorded on tape

before a live audience.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0