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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:56,655
Here you are, Archie.
13
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,057
What is this
I'm drinking here?
14
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,027
Oh, that's a new brand
of coffee I bought.
15
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,363
It's 97 percent
caffeine free.
16
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:07,098
Caffeine free?
17
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:10,568
If it ain't got caffeine in it,
it ain't coffee.
18
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,103
How much did you pay
for this slop?
19
00:01:13,105 --> 00:01:15,907
$1.49.
20
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:20,145
You paid $1.49 for no caffeine?
21
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:24,615
I can pay the same $1.49
and get caffeine.
22
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:27,251
But caffeine ain't good for you.
23
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,653
It don't let you sleep.
24
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,255
It's 10:00 in the morning.
25
00:01:34,126 --> 00:01:36,360
I don't want to sleep.
26
00:01:36,362 --> 00:01:38,296
That's why I drink caffeine.
27
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,131
I want to stay up.
28
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:44,936
But Archie, I saved
a lot of money on this coffee.
29
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,238
A dollar off with the coupon.
30
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,606
That's good.
31
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:52,443
Then you won't lose so much
when you throw it out.
32
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,478
Is there any
more coffee, Ma?
33
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,348
Oh, lots. Your father
don't like it.
34
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,983
No? I think it's good.
35
00:01:58,985 --> 00:02:00,351
Do me a favor, Edith.
36
00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:02,687
No more of these
crummy bargains, huh?
37
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:06,424
But what'll I do with
all these coupons I got?
38
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:07,592
See?
39
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,160
"It's fall again,
40
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:11,229
"and inside
is your windfall
41
00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,164
from Clara Goodbuys."
42
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:19,003
I wonder if she got her job
because of her name.
43
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:24,075
Not the "Clara" part,
the "Goodbuys" part...
44
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,711
Like in "good buys."
45
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,613
Who cares?
46
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:29,680
Good morning.
47
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:31,883
Oh, morning, Mike.
48
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,618
It's funny the way
49
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:37,756
some people's name just suits
the business they're in.
50
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:43,161
Like God's name
is just perfect for God.
51
00:02:45,297 --> 00:02:46,564
Well, you see, Ma,
52
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,799
that's because
you're brought up
53
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:48,933
hearing that name.
54
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,301
You're used
to that word.
55
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,237
Ah, you don't know
what you're talking about.
56
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,437
Oh, really?
57
00:02:53,439 --> 00:02:55,373
If you were taught
that God's name was,
58
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:57,242
uh, let's say, "Chair,"
59
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,576
you'd be calling him "Chair."
60
00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:00,111
Get out of here.
61
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,646
You can't get people
into a church
62
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:05,150
to worship a chair.
63
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,285
People go to church
to worship God.
64
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,154
That's why they call him "God."
65
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,555
It depends on what word
you're brought up on, Daddy.
66
00:03:11,557 --> 00:03:13,124
See, uh, the Chinese people
67
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,160
think the perfect name
for God is "Buddha."
68
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,028
You know, she's getting to sound
69
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,497
more and more like you
every day, Meathead.
70
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,666
Thanks for the compliment,
Daddy.
71
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,735
[MOCKING VOICE]
"Thanks for the compliment, Daddy."
72
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:26,304
Let me ask you
something, professor,
73
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,941
which I'm putting
through school.
74
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:32,143
Can you think of a better name
for God than "God"?
75
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,845
And don't give me no "Buddha."
76
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,181
Well, how about "Jehovah"
from the Old Testament?
77
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,381
No good.
78
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,482
Why not?
79
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:41,252
Because he wasn't
no real god.
80
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:43,521
Them old Bible Hebes
just called him Jehovah
81
00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,691
because that was their
word for the boss.
82
00:03:50,696 --> 00:03:52,230
Well, what are you looking at?
83
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,032
You know, it's amazing
84
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:58,236
how someone
can be so consistently wrong.
85
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,071
I don't believe
the things you say.
86
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,372
Because you're an atheist.
87
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,941
You don't believe nothing
about religion.
88
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:06,444
I wonder what they say
when they sneeze.
89
00:04:14,686 --> 00:04:16,020
Who's that, Edith?
90
00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:18,122
The Chinese.
91
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,457
I mean, do they say,
92
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,926
"God bless you"
or "Buddha bless you"?
93
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:26,664
If you really want to know,
94
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,699
the Chinks just sneeze
and say nothing.
95
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,268
They can't speak English.
96
00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:35,874
Oh.
97
00:04:37,809 --> 00:04:40,044
Why couldn't they say,
"Buddha bless you" in Chinese?
98
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:44,282
Because they don't say that,
that's why.
99
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,251
They say, uh...
100
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,386
Well, if they say anything
at all, it's "Sayonara."
101
00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:51,856
That's Japanese.
102
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:52,891
Same thing.
103
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,626
It's not the same thing.
104
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,028
What are you talking about?
105
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,629
You put a Jap
and a Chink together,
106
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,498
you're going to tell me
which is which?
107
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,268
That's right,
because I'd find out about them.
108
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,903
I'd talk to them as individuals.
109
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,237
Sure, you'd talk to them.
110
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,240
You'd say, "Which one
of you guys is the Chink?"
111
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,442
I don't believe it!
He's making me crazy!
112
00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,077
Ignore it, Michael,
ignore him.
113
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,578
Shouldn't we be
getting ready, anyway?
114
00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,114
I mean, we're going
to the museum.
115
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,815
Oh, ho, ho.
Listen to this.
116
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,350
Now, will you tell
me something, Edith?
117
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:23,487
Why would any normal person
want to go to the museum
118
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:24,789
on his day off?
119
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:26,557
For this, Arch.
120
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,826
Something you know
absolutely nothing about.
121
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,827
Culture.
122
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,529
Oh, look at this.
123
00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,564
No wonder he's getting himself
all excited.
124
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,533
It's one of his own here.
125
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,568
A Polack art exhibit.
126
00:05:38,703 --> 00:05:42,040
That's "Pollock."
127
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,841
Jackson Pollock.
128
00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:49,013
He happens to be
a great American artist.
129
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,216
Well, he sure paints Polish.
130
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:53,217
Jeez.
131
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:54,585
Look at this--
132
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,487
splashes and smears
of paint
133
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,189
over everything here.
134
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,190
What do you mean?
135
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,591
A monkey
could do that.
136
00:06:00,593 --> 00:06:02,093
A great American artist?
137
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,095
There ain't a tree
or a flag or a president
138
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,663
in the whole damn book.
139
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,898
I'd explain it to you, Arch,
140
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:11,336
but first you'd have to move
your brain ahead two centuries.
141
00:06:14,406 --> 00:06:17,442
Why don't you take a short walk
on a long pier?
142
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:19,444
You can't even
get that right!
143
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,245
It's "Why don't you
take a long walk
144
00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:22,480
on a short pier?"
145
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,786
Then do that.
146
00:06:32,224 --> 00:06:33,224
Just forget it.
147
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,558
Come on, Gloria.
let's go.
148
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,559
Okay.
149
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,429
Oh, Gloria! Mike!
150
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,498
Would you mind
mailing this letter
151
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,899
when you go downtown?
152
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,268
I've been meaning
to mail it for a week.
153
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,403
Sure, Ma.
154
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,705
It's a funny thing
about mailing a letter.
155
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:52,210
When you remember to mail it,
you ain't near a mailbox,
156
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:56,314
and when you're near a mailbox,
you don't remember.
157
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,349
Yeah.
158
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,751
I never thought of that.
159
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,453
But then, why should I?
160
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,390
ARCHIE: Edith. Edith.
161
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,725
Edith, I am in torture here
with these shoes.
162
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:08,726
Where are youse going?
163
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,294
We're going
to the museum.
164
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:11,329
Well, just wait
a minute.
165
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,930
Youse got an errand
to do for me.
166
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,065
What?
167
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,334
Ooh! Edith, these fancy
new no-lace shoes here,
168
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:17,801
they're killing me.
169
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,670
You were with me
when I buy these.
170
00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:21,672
Why'd you let me buy 'em?
Well, they looked fine.
171
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:22,873
Well, they ain't fine.
172
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,642
Well, they look fine
from the outside.
173
00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:28,513
The outside ain't where
they're hurting me, Edith!
174
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,648
Now, youse two,
just wait a second here.
175
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,750
You're gonna to have
to take these shoes,
176
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:34,618
you're gonna have to
get them stretched for me.
177
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,886
All right.
Let's have them.
178
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:37,755
But, Archie,
what are you going to wear?
179
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,258
Your other shoes
are being half-soled.
180
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:43,027
Well, I'll have to wear
my good shoes, that's all.
181
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,496
Your Thom McAns?
182
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:51,835
What do you want me to do?
Walk around barefoot,
183
00:07:51,837 --> 00:07:53,471
like them weirdo friends
184
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,440
that your daughter
used to have hanging around?
185
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,840
My friends are
not weirdos,
186
00:07:56,842 --> 00:07:58,609
and it doesn't make
a person a weirdo
187
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,211
just because
he walks barefoot.
188
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:04,348
Ah, God made feet
to be wearing shoes.
189
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,217
Going barefoot ain't civilized.
190
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,818
What are you saying?
That wearing shoes
191
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,720
is the only thing that makes
a person civilized?
192
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:13,291
That's right, buddy,
shoes and pants.
193
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,093
All them old missionaries,
that's what they done
194
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,294
the first thing
with the natives,
195
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,895
put shoes on them
and pants on them
196
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,497
and turn them into Christians.
197
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,534
I don't think Jesus wore shoes.
198
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,835
Certainly.
199
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,605
He wore shoes all the time,
except for that one time
200
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,140
he went walking
on the water there.
201
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:33,978
All right, now,
on your way to the museum,
202
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:35,179
take these shoes
to the store.
203
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,180
All right.
204
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,315
Now, where you running away?
205
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:38,949
You ain't got the sales slip,
right?
206
00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:40,184
Get them
the sales slip, Edith.
207
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,185
Oh, yeah.
208
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,653
I put it in my purse
somewhere.
209
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,188
You. You argue with me
about religion.
210
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,591
You don't even know how
to take a pair of shoes back.
211
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,059
Yeah, I think
it's in here somewhere.
212
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:51,262
Oh, here we go.
The mystery grab bag here.
213
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,398
Look at all this stuff
you got in the bag.
214
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,566
What are you doing?
215
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:57,435
A whole crowd
of paper clips here.
216
00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,469
Look at this.
217
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,571
A gum wrapper, no gum in it.
218
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:01,872
Come on, Edith.
219
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,474
Why do you carry
this junk with you?
220
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,376
Here it is.
I found it.
221
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,611
Hey, Ma,
222
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,279
where'd you get
these lottery tickets?
223
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,081
Oh, I forgot
all about them.
224
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,450
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
225
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,952
You got lottery tickets there?
Let me see them there.
226
00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:17,688
Edith, lottery tickets,
227
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,390
four tickets, 50 cents each.
228
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,758
That's 2 bucks.
229
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:24,928
Hey, you did that all
without a pencil and paper.
230
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,101
Button your face there.
231
00:09:31,103 --> 00:09:32,370
Daddy, there's no harm
232
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:34,172
in a little bet
every now and then.
233
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,408
No, and you win
big money prizes.
234
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,743
Remember?
Mrs. Balini did.
235
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,646
No. What the hell
did she ever win?
236
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,448
Oh, she won
two church raffles.
237
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,917
$10 and a chair cushion.
238
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,452
Oh, yeah, that's right.
239
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,588
The famous chair cushion
that nobody could sit on
240
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,089
because it had
241
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:55,226
an embroidered picture
of the Pope on it.
242
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,429
Is that why?
243
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,865
I always thought it was
because it was Anthony Quinn.
244
00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:06,070
Use your common sense, will you?
245
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:10,208
It ain't "blastemious"
to sit on Anthony Quinn's face.
246
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:14,445
Still, it ain't nice.
247
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,813
Ma, did you know
248
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,548
that these tickets
are 10 months old?
249
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,450
Yeah, I forgot
I had them.
250
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,652
Ma, did you ever check
to see if they won anything?
251
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:24,589
No, I just put them
in my pocketbook
252
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,524
and forgot all about them.
253
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,959
Oh, sure. Easy come, easy go.
254
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,262
The $2 could have been
in the bank earning interest.
255
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,097
Come on, Arch,
2 measly dollars.
256
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,565
Didn't you ever bet on anything?
257
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,867
Yes.
258
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:39,737
I bet that my daughter
would marry a human being,
259
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,106
and I lost.
260
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,074
Come on, Gloria,
let's go.
261
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,209
EDITH:
Wait a minute.
262
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,377
Would you mind
263
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,346
dropping some clothes
at the cleaners
264
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,013
on your way
to the subway?
265
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:51,181
No, Ma,
we don't mind.
266
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:52,783
I'll be right down.
267
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:53,951
I can't get over it.
268
00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:56,053
Edith buying
lottery tickets.
269
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:57,421
I bet you wouldn't
be complaining
270
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:58,589
if Ma had won.
271
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,558
Ah, nobody ever wins
on them lotteries.
272
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,093
Hey, it says here that
these tickets are valid
273
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,329
up to one year
after the purchase.
274
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,830
Ah, forget about it.
275
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:07,865
But how would you know
276
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,600
what the winning number was
way back then?
277
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,636
You call the candy store.
They sell lottery tickets.
278
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:12,770
They probably have a list
279
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:14,372
of the winning numbers
for the past year.
280
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,574
What's the first prize?
$50,000.
281
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,609
Wow, think what you could do
with all of that!
282
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,646
I'm telling you,
you're wasting your time.
283
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,548
Edith,
where are the Thom McAns?
284
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,949
EDITH: What, Archie?
285
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:29,086
I said, Edith,
bring down my good shoes!
286
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:31,989
I'm sorry, Archie,
I didn't hear you.
287
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,425
I was in the closet
getting your good shoes.
288
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,426
What did you say?
289
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:39,630
Nothing, Edith.
290
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,031
Here's the cleaning, Mike.
291
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,301
Please, I can't hear
what the man's saying.
292
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,635
Who is she talking to?
293
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,136
She's calling about
the lottery tickets.
294
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:49,106
She's wasting her time
just like you wasted our money.
295
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,108
EDITH: But, Archie...
296
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,777
Ma! Ma! You did it! You did it!
297
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:55,145
You did it, Ma!
298
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:56,880
The last four
numbers match!
299
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:57,881
What?
300
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:58,882
The last four
numbers?
301
00:11:58,884 --> 00:11:59,883
That's $500!
302
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,018
What?
$500!
303
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,252
Daddy, the last
four numbers match!
304
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,821
This ticket's a winner!
305
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,022
The last four
numbers here? Yeah!
306
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,424
He told you
on the phone? Yeah!
307
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,425
A winner?
Yeah!
308
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,426
$500?
Yeah!
309
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:09,293
$500!
310
00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:12,996
Oh, yeah, sure,
you change your tune fast.
311
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,532
A second ago,
you were against it.
312
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,899
Oh, ho, you don't
hear me
313
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,235
being against no $500
there, Meathead.
314
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,538
Daddy, a minute ago,
you were bawling Ma out.
315
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,239
Well, a minute ago,
she was a loser.
316
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,708
Now she's a winner.
317
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,908
Don't argue with me.
318
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,510
Let me figure how
I'm going to spend
319
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:27,945
these five bills.
320
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:29,347
That's Ma's money.
She bought these tickets.
321
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,681
What are you talking about?
322
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,115
She wouldn't have
found the ticket
323
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:33,617
if it wasn't for
my tight shoes.
324
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:34,785
Right, Edith? Right--
325
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:37,120
Edith, Edith, what are you doing
on the phone?
326
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:38,522
I'm talking.
327
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:40,924
You want to let the world know
you got a winning ticket?
328
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:44,161
Just Louise Jefferson.
The worst person of all!
329
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,763
Them people will be
beating on the tom-toms!
330
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,465
The whole neighborhood
will know!
331
00:12:51,102 --> 00:12:52,636
Put that phone down.
332
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:54,538
I'll see you later, Louise.
Put that phone down.
333
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,539
Put that phone down.
334
00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:56,741
Put that phone down!
335
00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,342
Now, come on,
get your hat and coat.
336
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:00,143
We've got to get down
to the lottery office.
337
00:13:00,145 --> 00:13:01,144
What for, Archie?
338
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,546
We're going to
cash in this ticket.
339
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,749
Oh, no, we got no right
to claim that money, Archie.
340
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,584
We can't do that.
Why not?
341
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,086
EDITH: We got no right
to claim that money.
342
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:12,590
Don't be bothering me
with details, will you?
343
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,860
Archie, that ticket
don't belong to us.
344
00:13:26,938 --> 00:13:29,673
What was that?
345
00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:32,209
That ticket don't belong to us.
346
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,011
What was that?
347
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:35,012
[SHOUTING]
That tick--
348
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,980
I hear you!
349
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:46,156
Edith, wait a minute.
350
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,925
You paid for
the ticket,
351
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,727
so the ticket
belongs to us.
352
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:52,096
No, Archie,
that ticket ain't ours.
353
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:55,232
Will you try
and make sense?
354
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,467
Ma, if it's not
yours, whose is it?
355
00:13:57,469 --> 00:13:59,469
It's Mr. Jefferson's.
356
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:01,471
I just told
Louise Jefferson
357
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:02,506
the good news.
358
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:03,741
She was so happy.
359
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,676
She'll be here
any minute.
360
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,911
Edith, Edith.
361
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,680
If this is
Jefferson's ticket,
362
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,715
how come it turned up
in your purse?
363
00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:15,418
Because Mr. Jefferson
won't wear his rubbers
364
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,820
in the rain.
365
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,461
He's just like you, Archie.
366
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:27,197
He won't take an umbrella,
he won't wear his rubbers--
367
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,632
I'm talking about
the tickets, Edith.
368
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:29,833
Yeah, I'm getting to that.
369
00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:32,736
Remember when we had
the big rainstorm--
370
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:33,971
I'm talking
about the tickets here.
371
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:35,405
And everything got flooded
372
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,274
and we got all that water
in our basement?
373
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,409
I'm talking about
the tickets, Edith.
374
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,678
Daddy, don't you
know by now
375
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,379
you got to let
Ma tell her story
376
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,413
in her own way?
377
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,115
I know, but I ain't got time.
378
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:48,385
I got to go to work
on Monday morning.
379
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:51,889
Edith, Edith, collect
your thoughts, huh?
380
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,890
Get over there.
381
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,991
Sit in the chair.
382
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:55,726
Youse two, get over
there on the sofa.
383
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,028
MIKE: Oh, boy,
we'll never get to the museum.
384
00:14:58,030 --> 00:15:00,030
Just clam up.
Don't say nothing
385
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,232
till I get to the bottom
of all of this.
386
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,701
Now, Edith, Edith,
387
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,035
I don't want to hear nothing
388
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,970
about nothing that don't
have nothing to do
389
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:08,872
with this here ticket,
390
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:10,841
and I want to hear it fast.
391
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:14,644
Well, Louise
asked me if I would,
392
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:17,114
and I said I would, and I did,
and I forgot 'em.
393
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:31,461
That's too fast.
394
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:39,103
Now, I'm going to give you
leave to fill it in, Edith,
395
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,905
but have mercy on me,
please, will you?
396
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,306
Go.
397
00:15:43,308 --> 00:15:46,910
Well, Mr. Jefferson
went out without his rubbers,
398
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,678
and he came home with the flu,
399
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,480
and Louise had to
take care of him,
400
00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:51,949
and she couldn't get out.
401
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,184
So I was going out
to do some shopping,
402
00:15:54,186 --> 00:15:56,386
and I asked her
if I could get her something,
403
00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,821
and she said yes--
404
00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,990
a dozen eggs,
a half a pound of margarine,
405
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,159
a two-pound can
of coffee...
406
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,532
Mr. Jefferson
likes it that way.
407
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:15,005
Am-- Am-- Am I filling in
too much for you?
408
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:21,678
Well, here comes
the ticket part.
409
00:16:24,382 --> 00:16:27,484
Just as I was going
out the door,
410
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:31,121
Louise asked me if I would
buy four lottery tickets.
411
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,990
George always buys them.
412
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,592
And I said, yes, I could,
so I did,
413
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,461
and I put 'em in my purse
and I forgot 'em.
414
00:16:38,463 --> 00:16:40,164
Does that answer
your question?
415
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,231
Right, Edith.
416
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,800
You done fine.
417
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,702
Don't say no more.
418
00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:48,505
What I got to do now
is figure a way
419
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,774
to straighten this thing out
so we don't lose nothing, see.
420
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:51,641
That's...
421
00:16:58,449 --> 00:17:00,083
And the first thing
that's gotta happen
422
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:02,552
is you two
get out to the museum.
423
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:03,753
What is this
going to be,
424
00:17:03,755 --> 00:17:05,622
another one
of your devious plots?
425
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:06,857
Don't argue
with me, Meathead.
426
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,826
Come on, Gloria,
get him out of here.
427
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:09,893
No, Daddy,
not right now.
428
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:11,695
I want to wait till
Mrs. Jefferson gets here
429
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,496
so I can see
the look on her face
430
00:17:13,498 --> 00:17:14,698
when she gets
her winning ticket.
431
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,300
That could be
two, three hours from now.
432
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,734
Ma said they'd be
here any minute.
433
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,369
No, the way them people
shuffle along,
434
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,305
they'll never make it.
435
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,673
Will you stop
with the stereotypes?
436
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:26,476
Black people don't shuffle!
They walk like everyone else!
437
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:29,880
Well, then, will you kindly
walk like everyone else
438
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,581
and walk the hell out that door?
439
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:32,582
Fine, fine.
440
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,851
Come on, Gloria,
let's go.
441
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:36,019
Get moving, and take them shoes
back to that store!
442
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:36,887
Okay!
443
00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:44,561
And what
are you doing?
444
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,463
Just shuffling
on out, Daddy.
445
00:17:56,941 --> 00:17:57,975
Now, Edith,
446
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,776
let me tell you what
we're going to do
447
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:02,112
when the Jeffersons
get here, see.
448
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,713
You're just going
to give them back
449
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,115
the money
for the ticket.
450
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:08,018
Oh, no, Archie, you mean,
give them the ticket.
451
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,855
They got to go down
and claim the $500 themselves.
452
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,390
No!
453
00:18:13,392 --> 00:18:14,457
Not the ticket.
454
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:15,692
Now, listen.
455
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,094
Now, let me
explain it to you
456
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,461
very, very carefully.
457
00:18:18,463 --> 00:18:21,098
Edith, all you
got to do, see,
458
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,733
is give Mrs. Jefferson
back the $2
459
00:18:23,735 --> 00:18:26,069
that she give you
to buy that ticket.
460
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:29,106
But she never give me $2,
Archie.
461
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,008
I laid it out for her.
462
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,876
Edith, just do what I--
463
00:18:38,349 --> 00:18:41,952
You laid out the money
for her there?
464
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,954
Yeah.
465
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,924
I'm sure she would have paid me
if I had given her the tickets,
466
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,426
but she forgot about it
just like I did.
467
00:18:49,428 --> 00:18:53,596
So you paid with your own money
for that there ticket.
468
00:18:53,598 --> 00:18:54,631
Yeah.
469
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,699
[CACKLES WILDLY]
470
00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:58,969
What the hell are
we worried about?
471
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,971
If you paid for the ticket
with your own money,
472
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,906
then that means it's our ticket
473
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,874
no matter who you think
you bought it for.
474
00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:07,244
No, Archie,
the ticket belongs to Louise.
475
00:19:07,246 --> 00:19:08,245
[DOORBELL RINGS]
476
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:09,446
Oh, that must
be Louise now.
477
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:10,981
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
478
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:14,484
Sit down.
Down, down, down.
479
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,652
Stay in that chair.
480
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,321
Don't say nothing,
nothing at all.
481
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,122
I'll handle this, see.
482
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:19,990
Shh!
483
00:19:22,026 --> 00:19:24,161
Here we are.
484
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,228
Come on in.
485
00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,730
Oh, Edith, isn't it exciting?
Yeah.
486
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:28,731
Hello, Mrs. Bunker.
487
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:29,732
Jefferson,
Jefferson,
488
00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:30,934
I got good news
for you.
489
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,702
The $2 that you owe Edith
490
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,504
for buying a lottery ticket
a long time ago,
491
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,705
you're off the hook
for it.
492
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:36,773
You don't have to pay us.
493
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,210
2 bucks?
494
00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,446
Bunker, you got
a real great sense of humor.
495
00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:44,047
Let me say right here and now
496
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,382
that I take back...
497
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:47,784
most of the things
I've been thinking about you.
498
00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:50,653
Now, where are the tickets?
499
00:19:50,655 --> 00:19:52,155
Oh, ho, ho,
now, wait a minute.
500
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,256
Jefferson, Jefferson, hold it.
501
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,657
You ain't going to get
no ticket.
502
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:56,860
But, Archie--
Shh! Shh!
503
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,164
Bunker, what are you
trying to pull?
504
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:02,966
I ain't trying to pull nothing.
505
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,767
That winning ticket
belongs to us.
506
00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:06,903
Bunker, your wife bought
those tickets for my brother.
507
00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:08,171
Now hand them over.
508
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:10,640
Jefferson, possession
is nine tenths of the law,
509
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,043
and being as how we laid out
the money for the tickets,
510
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,811
that adds up to
the other nine tenths.
511
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:17,447
Bunker, you're a thief!
512
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,882
What do you mean, a thief?
513
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,750
Suppose the shoe
was on the other foot.
514
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,752
Suppose you had the tickets
and I come to you.
515
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:24,554
What would you do?
I'd give them to you.
516
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,588
Well, I got them already,
517
00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:27,057
so, what the hell
are you hollering about?
518
00:20:33,564 --> 00:20:35,532
Bunker, I want
that ticket!
519
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,502
Oh, jeez, I want to be
vice-president of the world,
520
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,703
but we all have our little
disappointments, you know?
521
00:20:40,705 --> 00:20:42,939
Bunker, you ain't going
to get away with this.
522
00:20:42,941 --> 00:20:44,607
You been cheating us
for 400 years.
523
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:46,276
What are you talking about?
524
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:48,912
You only been on the block
for two years.
525
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,014
I'm talking about
how you white people
526
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,215
come to Africa to steal us,
527
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,816
and then when you was through
stealing us,
528
00:20:53,818 --> 00:20:55,218
and we wasn't around
to watch you,
529
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,154
you stole our whole country!
530
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,457
I've never even been to Africa!
531
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:03,893
Neither have I,
and that's your fault too.
532
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:10,434
Louise, I got to
apologize for Archie.
533
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,469
Oh, that's
all right, Edith.
534
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:15,738
Henry isn't exactly
a diplomat, either.
535
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:19,042
But Archie thinks
that it's his ticket.
536
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,111
Edith, suppose we just
shared the money 50-50.
537
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,079
Oh, no.
538
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,480
Yes, yes.
539
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:24,881
Louise, I bought
it for you.
540
00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:27,284
You can pay
me the $2,
541
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,785
but I bought
the ticket for you.
542
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,088
Yeah, but--
If you hadn't asked me,
543
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:32,822
I wouldn't have
bought it at all.
544
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:35,392
Here. It's your ticket.
545
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:37,327
No, no, no, no,
Jefferson.
546
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:38,328
There ain't no sense
547
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:39,429
in talking
to you anymore.
548
00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:40,997
The best thing
you can do is--
549
00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:44,501
What are you doing
in my chair?
550
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:45,902
Jefferson, get
out of my chair.
551
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:47,471
I am not budging
from this chair
552
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,871
until I get
that ticket.
553
00:21:48,873 --> 00:21:50,673
I'm going to call the
cops on you, Jefferson.
554
00:21:50,675 --> 00:21:52,542
Go ahead. Call the cops.
Call the cops!
555
00:21:52,544 --> 00:21:53,743
What's going on?
What is it?
556
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,178
This man's in
my chair.
557
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:57,780
I'm going to call the cops
to get him out of my chair.
558
00:21:57,782 --> 00:21:59,015
Oh, Archie, no,
don't do that.
559
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,218
The man is trespassing
all over my house and my chair.
560
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:03,420
I'm going to call the cops.
Come on, Henry, let's go.
561
00:22:03,422 --> 00:22:05,222
Louise, I said it before.
I'll say it again.
562
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,623
I am not budging
from this chair
563
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:08,925
until I get
that...ticket.
564
00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:10,627
Last warning,
Jefferson.
565
00:22:10,629 --> 00:22:11,628
I'm calling
the cops.
566
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:12,629
All right, all right.
567
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:13,630
I'm going, I'm going.
568
00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:15,298
Goodbye, Edith.
EDITH: Goodbye.
569
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,299
ARCHIE: Calling
the cops, Jefferson!
570
00:22:16,301 --> 00:22:18,268
Calling the cops,
over here.
571
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,536
They gone?
572
00:22:19,538 --> 00:22:21,571
Yeah.
Ah!
573
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:22,606
Yeah, I settled that.
574
00:22:22,608 --> 00:22:24,307
See that? See, see?
575
00:22:24,309 --> 00:22:25,875
Them people
are all the same.
576
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:27,810
Always putting
up the big front,
577
00:22:27,812 --> 00:22:29,279
but the minute
you holler, "Cop,"
578
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,280
same old story.
579
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:33,116
It's "Feet,
do your stuff."
580
00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:34,784
Archie, I got
something to tell you.
581
00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,052
Save it, Edith.
582
00:22:36,054 --> 00:22:37,854
We've got to get down
to the lottery office
583
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,256
and cash in that ticket
right now.
584
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:40,123
[DOORBELL RINGS]
585
00:22:41,559 --> 00:22:44,261
Oh, look who's back.
586
00:22:44,263 --> 00:22:45,495
Uh, Bunker, uh,
587
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:46,896
me and Louise
was talking it over,
588
00:22:46,898 --> 00:22:48,131
and we decided, well,
589
00:22:48,133 --> 00:22:50,967
maybe we should
split the money 50-50.
590
00:22:50,969 --> 00:22:52,402
Listen to this guy!
591
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:55,238
Wants to split
the money 50-50.
592
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,573
Are you kidding, Jefferson?
593
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,241
The answer to that is no.
594
00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:00,510
I'll spell it for you:
N-O, no.
595
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:01,911
Are you sure?
596
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:03,980
I certainly am.
597
00:23:07,685 --> 00:23:10,453
I was hoping
you'd say that. Bye!
598
00:23:19,497 --> 00:23:21,731
Can you figure
them people out?
599
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:22,999
You tell them something
600
00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,801
that's supposed to make
them as mad as hell,
601
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,603
but they bust out
in a smile.
602
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:31,341
I wish you was able
to do that, Archie.
603
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,577
Edith, I can
smile anyti--
604
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:40,383
Why did you say
that to me?
605
00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:44,854
Because I gave Louise
the lottery ticket.
606
00:23:48,459 --> 00:23:51,294
What was that?
607
00:23:51,296 --> 00:23:53,230
I gave Louise the lot--
608
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:55,765
What was that?
609
00:23:55,767 --> 00:23:56,999
[SHOUTING]
I gave...
610
00:23:57,001 --> 00:23:59,469
I heard you!
611
00:24:06,711 --> 00:24:08,144
Archie, Archie.
612
00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:11,548
Look at the present
Mrs. Jefferson gave us--
613
00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:14,451
a $100
gift certificate.
614
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,719
Hey, that's
sensational!
615
00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:17,854
Ma, that was
really nice!
616
00:24:17,856 --> 00:24:19,055
Wait a minute.
617
00:24:19,057 --> 00:24:21,190
Don't tell me them people
is being fair.
618
00:24:21,192 --> 00:24:23,926
Let's take a look at this here.
619
00:24:23,928 --> 00:24:26,028
There it is, "gift certificate."
620
00:24:26,030 --> 00:24:27,530
"This entitles bearer
621
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:30,634
to $100 worth
of merchandise at--"
622
00:24:33,904 --> 00:24:36,172
"Jeanette's Dress
and 'Ling-erie' Shop."
623
00:24:42,446 --> 00:24:44,013
Jeez, that's a hell
of a windfall
624
00:24:44,015 --> 00:24:45,448
for me, huh, Edith?
625
00:25:02,132 --> 00:25:05,769
[♪]
626
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:07,570
ANNOUNCER: All in the Family
was recorded on tape
627
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,739
before a live audience.
628
00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:14,339
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
44545
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