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1
00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,670
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:55,186
Oh.
13
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:57,022
[LAUGHS]
14
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,423
Oh, that's so funny, Bertha.
15
00:00:59,425 --> 00:01:02,894
I'll have to remember
to tell that one to Archie.
16
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,864
He always likes jokes
that end up funnier
17
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,500
than when they start out.
18
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:12,370
No, I had nothing
special to say.
19
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,605
It's just it's so lonely
around here
20
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,075
since Gloria started working.
21
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,878
If it wasn't for the TV
in the afternoon,
22
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,815
there'd be nobody
to talk to at all.
23
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,517
Oh, I hear him coming.
I got to hang up, Bertha. Yeah.
24
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:28,319
Bye.
25
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:32,090
Oh, hello, Archie.
26
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,491
How was your day?
27
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:37,428
Lousy, Edith, lousy.
28
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,131
The world out there
is full of nuts and fruitcakes,
29
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:42,500
and sometimes I think
I'm gonna go the same way.
30
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,402
Oh, no.
Oh, be prepared, Edith.
31
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:45,870
If I got to ride
them subways
32
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,038
another two years,
33
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,506
you're gonna
have to check me
34
00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:49,841
into a rubber room.
35
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,910
Oh, ain't that funny? Bertha--
I was coming home--
36
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,714
I'm talking, Edith.
37
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,683
I'm coming home tonight
and it's sardine time again.
38
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,152
Here's a guy pressed
up against me so close,
39
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:04,222
his buttons are making permanent
dents in my flesh, see?
40
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:05,389
So there we are.
41
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,691
We're riding nose to nose,
42
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,459
and he starts
talking to his daughter.
43
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,261
Well, what's the matter
with that?
44
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,597
She wasn't there, Edith.
45
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,368
Then on top of that,
46
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:20,805
the bum behind me
had beans for lunch.
47
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,114
How did you know that?
48
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:39,724
I could tell
by the way he smiled at me.
49
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,792
Oh.
50
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:43,461
Why ain't supper
on the table here, huh?
51
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,630
Well, can you wait
a little while?
52
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,531
Gloria ain't home
from work yet.
53
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,134
Aw, jeez,
there's another one
54
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,769
that lost
her nuts and bolts.
55
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,204
It's bad enough
she's married to the meathead.
56
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:56,507
Now she's got to go working
his way through school.
57
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,010
Edith, where's the aspirin?
I have a head coming on.
58
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,311
It's upstairs.
59
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:03,148
Why is it always upstairs
when I'm downstairs
60
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,382
and downstairs
when I'm upstairs?
61
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,017
Can't you never organize
nothing, Edith, huh?
62
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,318
Oh, well,
I'll get it.
63
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,453
No, no, no, don't bother.
I'll get the aspirin.
64
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,422
Get supper
on the table, huh?
65
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,825
Jeez, one of these days
I'm gonna come home from work
66
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,626
and I'm gonna reach out
my two hands
67
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,628
to get the things
that I need and I want
68
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,696
and I'm gonna find them...
69
00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:22,767
Oh, hello,
Gloria.
70
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,869
How was your day
at work?
71
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,404
Lousy, Ma.
72
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,772
I'm telling you,
73
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,340
it's a city full
of weirdos out there.
74
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:39,317
To begin with,
75
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,119
it was sales day
at the store.
76
00:03:41,121 --> 00:03:42,320
Do you have any idea
77
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:45,290
what 50% off does
to nice, normal women?
78
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,725
It turns them
into raving lunatics.
79
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,393
Did you ever see
a size 18 fatso
80
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,129
trying to zip herself
into a size 10?
81
00:03:53,365 --> 00:03:54,632
No, but I remember--
82
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:58,669
Ma! I'm talking, Ma.
83
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:00,538
Now, if that wasn't bad enough,
84
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:03,474
coming home on the bus
I felt like a sardine in a can.
85
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:04,642
And lucky me,
86
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,978
I got to be standing
right next to a groper.
87
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:11,782
He made me feel like
a fresh loaf of Wonder Bread.
88
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:14,052
Oh, my.
I tell you,
89
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,221
the only good thing
about getting on a bus nowadays
90
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,788
is knowing
that you're getting off again.
91
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,091
Hold it, hold it there,
little girl.
92
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,159
I could hear
them complaints
93
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,727
all the way up
in the toilet.
94
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:25,663
Listen, you ain't been working
long enough to know,
95
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,899
but when you come home
at the end of the day,
96
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:31,369
you're supposed to leave
your troubles outside the door.
97
00:04:33,438 --> 00:04:35,773
You come in with
a cheerful word and a smile.
98
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,175
Don't be bringing
your burdens in here
99
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,709
and dumping them on your mother.
100
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:41,112
Will you get supper
on the table?
101
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:45,049
Mike ain't home yet.
102
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,217
Oh, good.
103
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,385
Maybe we'll get a chance
104
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:50,788
to look at the food now
before it disappears.
105
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,124
In the meantime, can you
bring me a beer over here?
106
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,125
Oh, sure, Archie.
107
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,027
Ma, why isn't
Michael home yet?
108
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,495
Did he say
he'd be late?
109
00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:59,197
No, I don't think so.
110
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,366
He better not be late,
because after supper,
111
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,834
he's got to help me move
that refrigerator out there.
112
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:06,037
I got to fix a pipe
that's leaking behind it.
113
00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:08,439
GLORIA:
Hi, Michael.
114
00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,440
Hi.
115
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,441
How was your day?
116
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:11,309
Lousy.
117
00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:14,812
Ah!
118
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:15,813
What's the matter?
119
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,815
Ah! No, nothing.
120
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,550
It's just a little
bit of a twinge.
121
00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:21,185
It's your side
again, isn't it?
122
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:22,686
It's that dumb appendix.
123
00:05:22,688 --> 00:05:24,522
Yeah. That's why I'm late.
124
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,524
I've just been to see
Dr. Nelson about it.
125
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:27,959
Oh, hi, Mike.
126
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,928
Here's your beer, Archie.
127
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,062
Leave it
there, Edith.
128
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,297
Michael, I told you
months ago
129
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,032
you should have that
taken care of.
130
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,300
Well, Gloria, Dr. Nelson said
131
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,600
it's just a typical
grumbling appendix.
132
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,102
There's no emergency.
133
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:40,004
Yeah, but it could
flare up at any time.
134
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,373
But he said I could
have it out whenever I'm ready.
135
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:44,675
Michael, I think
you're ready.
136
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:47,545
Yeah. I just don't like
the idea of being cut.
137
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,048
Oh, nowadays,
taking out your appendix
138
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,283
is a simple,
routine operation.
139
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,052
Oh, maybe not.
140
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,286
Them doctors open him up,
141
00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,454
they might find themselves
142
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,423
rooting around
in a bottomless pit.
143
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,897
What is it with you?
144
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:09,033
Don't you take anything serious?
145
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,970
Don't you see they want
to cut out my appendix?
146
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,305
Ah, face up to it
like a man, will you?
147
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,739
Jeez, I had
an operation.
148
00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:17,342
Nobody heard me
hollering around.
149
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:18,343
Right, Edith?
150
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,478
Oh, no, no, Archie.
151
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,347
You fainted.
152
00:06:24,483 --> 00:06:26,484
Who asked you?
153
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,252
I don't need
an operation.
154
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,488
I mean, I can continue
with the ice pack.
155
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,856
Why rush into
these things?
156
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,225
But, Michael, if it's gotta go,
it's gotta go.
157
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,394
Why hang on to something
that's useless?
158
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,497
That's what I've been asking you
ever since you married him.
159
00:06:41,133 --> 00:06:44,302
Maybe the appendix
ain't useless.
160
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:48,272
Maybe God put it there
for doctors to practice up on
161
00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:50,508
for more serious operations.
162
00:06:54,346 --> 00:06:57,348
You're a pip,
you know that?
163
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,150
Well, nobody's going
to practice up on me.
164
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,951
I mean, when I decide
to have this operation,
165
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,220
I'm gonna
have the best.
166
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,888
Dr. Nelson recommended
the best surgeon he knew.
167
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,323
He called Dr. McKenzie.
168
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:07,191
Well, you know who I
think we should call?
169
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,192
Who?
170
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:09,593
Chicken Delight, Edith,
171
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:13,297
because we ain't gonna get
no supper out of you.
172
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,333
I'll help you, Ma.
173
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,600
Michael, I think you should have
174
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,736
that appendix
taken care of right away.
175
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,204
Gloria, I'm not ready yet.
176
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,240
Besides, where's the money
coming from to pay for it?
177
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,807
Our savings account.
178
00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:25,476
Oh, no, no, no.
That's your money.
179
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,477
That's not mine.
180
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,513
Michael, that's our money.
181
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,548
We each contribute
in our own way.
182
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,083
That's right.
183
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,653
You contribute deposits.
He contributes withdrawals.
184
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:39,690
Daddy, our marriage
is an equal partnership.
185
00:07:39,692 --> 00:07:41,359
We share everything.
186
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,893
Well, tell your equal partner
187
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,396
he's gonna share some work
with me tonight after supper.
188
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,864
Gonna move that refrigerator.
189
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,266
Michael,
don't you move anything,
190
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,767
not the way
you're feeling tonight.
191
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,569
Don't be getting him
out of work, will you?
192
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:52,970
He gets out of enough
work himself.
193
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,038
All right, Arch.
194
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,306
You want to move
the refrigerator?
195
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,807
Come on.
We'll do it now.
196
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:57,975
Ah!
197
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,278
Ah, ah,
no, no, no.
198
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,547
Ah, jeez,
what's this supposed to be now?
199
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:06,117
It's a pain.
200
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,286
I got a-- I got a sharp
pain right here.
201
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:11,055
You're giving me a dull pain
right there.
202
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,457
Ah, leave me alone,
will you, Arch?
203
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,458
Gloria!
204
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,459
Yeah?
205
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,060
Will you get me
an ice pack, please?
206
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:18,262
Oh, is it worse?
Yeah, it's worse.
207
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:21,132
Oh, gee, maybe I'll have to have
that operation after all.
208
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,134
I don't know how
we're gonna pay for it.
209
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,936
Soup's on!
210
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,005
Good. It's about time, too.
211
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,974
Jeez, we're all starving
over here.
212
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,476
What kind of soup you got,
Edith?
213
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,844
Oh, we're not
having soup, Archie.
214
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:37,948
Well, what the hell
are you yelling "Soup's on" for?
215
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:40,017
It's just an expression.
216
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,586
It means dinner's ready.
217
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:44,222
Well, why can't you just say,
"Dinner's ready"?
218
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,224
All right.
Dinner's ready!
219
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,159
Ah, no.
Not now.
220
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:51,829
Here you are, Michael.
Here's your ice pack.
221
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:53,431
You'd better
take off your pants.
222
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,299
Hold it! Hold it!
223
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,935
No pants off in the living room.
MICHAEL: Why not?
224
00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,337
Mixed company here.
225
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,838
Mixed company?
226
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,407
Your mother don't want to see
him standing in his drawers.
227
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:05,510
Arch, it's for
my side.
228
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,611
Yeah, your side, your side.
229
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,646
It's for your lower side,
230
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,881
which ain't supposed to be seen
except behind bedroom doors.
231
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,216
Now get upstairs.
232
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,419
Daddy, Michael can't walk
upstairs with this pain.
233
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:17,321
Oh, boy, you know
something, Daddy?
234
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,856
You're really a prude.
235
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,258
I'm a prude?
236
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,260
How would you like it
if I dropped my pants
237
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,061
every time I wanted
to put an ice pack
238
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,496
up against my private parts?
239
00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:32,537
Archie, I ain't never
seen you do that.
240
00:09:34,773 --> 00:09:37,808
That is because
I never do that, Edith.
241
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,109
Oh.
242
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:41,045
All done. You can
look now, Daddy.
243
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,381
Who the hell
wants to look at that?
244
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,650
Mike, here's some water,
245
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:47,285
and I'll bring your plate.
246
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,420
You don't have
to sit up at the table.
247
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,555
Oh, that's
all right, Ma.
248
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,755
I don't feel like
eating, anyway.
249
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,157
Hold it, hold it.
250
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,359
What's this I hear?
He don't feel like eating?
251
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:58,062
You're gonna have me
believing he's really sick.
252
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,731
What is it with you, Meathead?
You really feel bad?
253
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,267
Yeah, that's what
I've been trying to tell you.
254
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,268
I feel terrible.
255
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,969
Oh.
256
00:10:05,971 --> 00:10:08,138
Oh, jeez.
257
00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,273
Well...
258
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,408
I better eat.
259
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:14,612
Michael, I think
260
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,614
you should have
that operation soon.
261
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,948
Gloria, do you know
262
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,250
how much Dr. McKenzie
charges?
263
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:22,320
350 dollars.
264
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,189
350 dollars?
265
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,657
For one appendix?
266
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,960
Certainly. All them surgeons,
they're highway robbers.
267
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:34,365
Why do you think they wear masks
when they operate?
268
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:38,936
GLORIA:
Wait a minute.
269
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,304
Wait a minute.
270
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,673
Why don't we ask Audrey Stern
to do the operation?
271
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,208
Audrey Stern?
272
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,009
Remember?
She worked with us
273
00:10:46,011 --> 00:10:47,645
on the Youth Vote
Registration campaign.
274
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,646
Dr. Audrey Stern?
275
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,114
Oh, yeah.
276
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,384
She did Mary Goodwin's appendix
for only 150 dollars.
277
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,818
Why don't I call her tonight?
278
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,754
Well, I-- I don't know, Gloria.
279
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,490
I mean, Dr. Nelson already
has me set up with Dr. McKenzie.
280
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,858
It doesn't sound ethical.
281
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,326
It sounds cheaper.
282
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,629
It sounds stupid.
283
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,796
What do you mean, stupid?
284
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,331
I mean, little girl,
285
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,966
that I wouldn't let
no doctor
286
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:12,570
by the name of Audrey
fool around with me.
287
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,037
You take my advice
there, Meathead.
288
00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,573
You stick to a man.
289
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,040
You get yourself
an older guy
290
00:11:17,042 --> 00:11:19,243
with experience,
like McKenzie.
291
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,012
Daddy, how do you know
how old Dr. McKenzie is?
292
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,414
You never even
heard of him
293
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,915
till five minutes ago.
294
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,717
Well, I know Dr. Nelson.
295
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:27,918
I know he wouldn't
recommend nobody
296
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,320
who didn't have savvy.
297
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:31,989
So you're saying
you'd rather be operated on
298
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:35,393
by a doddery old man
than an efficient young woman?
299
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,027
That is right, little girl,
300
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:40,197
because a woman doctor's
only good for women's problems,
301
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,899
like your "groinecology" there.
302
00:11:47,272 --> 00:11:49,840
For a man's problems,
you need a man doctor
303
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:52,976
who knows his way around
in there.
304
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:56,914
Nobody wants some nervous dame
foostering around there.
305
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:58,716
I mean, she'd cut
the wrong string
306
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,484
and the poor guy's keister
would fall off.
307
00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:05,889
Daddy!
308
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,925
What about you?
What kind of a wife are you?
309
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,627
Ain't you got no concern
for your husband?
310
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,796
He don't want
to be operated on by no woman.
311
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,864
All right, Daddy,
that's enough out of you.
312
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:15,733
Michael, what do you think?
313
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,202
Should we call
Audrey Stern?
314
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,438
I don't know, Gloria.
I was just thinking, uh,
315
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,240
I don't know if I like the idea
of a friend operating on me.
316
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,976
Friend? You only met her
a couple times
317
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,712
at the committee meetings.
318
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,947
Michael, she hardly rates
as your best buddy.
319
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,682
Yeah, but even so, she knows me.
320
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:32,950
It's an emotional thing.
321
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,655
Michael, Audrey Stern
is a fully qualified surgeon,
322
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,122
and she's less expensive.
323
00:12:39,124 --> 00:12:40,791
Gloria, it's not the money.
324
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,292
Well, what is it,
then, Michael?
325
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,328
Are you saying that
a woman's reflexes
326
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,364
are slower than a man's?
Of course not.
327
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,866
Or her hands aren't as steady?
No.
328
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,068
Well, then it must be that men
are smarter than women.
329
00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:52,069
Is that it?
330
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,037
Bull's-eye, little girl.
331
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:59,042
Bull, period, Daddy.
332
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,646
You hear the lip on
your daughter there?
333
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,648
Mm-hmm.
334
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,450
Well, Michael?
335
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,188
Is that it? Are men
smarter than women?
336
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,590
Gloria, I didn't
say that.
337
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,758
Yeah, but
you meant it.
338
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,360
Admit it, Michael.
You're as bad as Daddy.
339
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,596
You're prejudiced
against a woman surgeon.
340
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,364
Gloria, this is my appendix.
341
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:23,267
It's my operation,
so I want to pick my doctor!
342
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:24,869
And pay him with my money.
343
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:27,772
Oh, now it's your money.
344
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,573
A minute ago, it was our money.
345
00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:30,941
All right, Michael, our money,
346
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,944
but that means at least
I have a say in how we spend it.
347
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,046
Yes! When it's your appendix,
you'll have a say.
348
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,281
Oh, listen,
Michael, this is--
349
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,348
No, you listen--
350
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,617
Aah!
351
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,618
Michael,
what's the matter?!
352
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,619
That's it.
It's flaring up.
353
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:42,820
Call the doctor.
Call the doctor.
354
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,821
Ma, call the doctor.
355
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,089
Right away!
356
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:49,393
Which one?
357
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,028
Give me that telephone,
will you?
358
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:52,463
I'll do that.
359
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,932
You don't know how to make
no emergency call.
360
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,366
Listen, hey, Gloria.
361
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,035
Cover up the meathead
over there.
362
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,437
I'll make the phone call here,
363
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,004
and Edith, you--
364
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,473
Get some ketchup
on the table.
365
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:09,046
Oh, I think I'm running
a temperature.
366
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,847
EDITH: I'll get
the thermometer.
367
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,583
Yeah, I'm burning up.
368
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,984
I'll get you a cool cloth,
Michael.
369
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,819
ARCHIE: Yeah, well,
when are you gonna hear
370
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:17,521
from Dr. McKenzie?
Dr. McKenzie? Daddy!
371
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,523
Shush, will you?
I'm on the line here.
372
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,657
Excuse me.
373
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,893
Yeah? Yeah, well, all right.
374
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,563
Well, when he comes in,
have him call us, will you?
375
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:26,997
As quick as possibly.
376
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,665
Yeah, thank you very much.
377
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,634
Daddy, why did you go
and call Dr. McKenzie?
378
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,269
You knew I wanted
Dr. Audrey Stern.
379
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:33,471
How could you do that?
380
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,706
Arch? What did
Dr. McKenzie say?
381
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,040
I didn't talk to him.
382
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,542
Don't worry.
They're trying to find him.
383
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,744
He's gonna call us
as soon as he comes in.
384
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,012
Thanks, Arch.
385
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:43,180
Thanks?
386
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:44,982
Michael, you knew
I didn't want Dr. McKenzie.
387
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,917
I mean, we hadn't
decided, had we?
388
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:47,918
Well...
389
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,353
I mean, you know
Audrey Stern
390
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,588
and you like her,
right?
391
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,589
Right.
392
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,823
And she's
a good surgeon?
393
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,024
Right.
So?
394
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,561
So I'm glad Archie called
Dr. McKenzie.
395
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,430
Daddy, this is
all your fault.
396
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,166
Listen, little girl,
one of the facts of life
397
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,835
is that doctors
are supposed to be men.
398
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,037
Men invented medicine,
didn't they?
399
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:10,374
Men made up
your Hypocritical Oath there.
400
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,909
Women, if they want to be
something, let them be nurses.
401
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:14,911
That's a ridiculous
argument, Daddy.
402
00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:17,548
Michael,
here's your thermometer.
403
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:18,715
Oh, thanks, Ma.
404
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:21,318
Can I get you some more ice
for your side?
405
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,719
No, this is fine, Ma.
406
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:25,556
Michael, we could get
Audrey Stern here in a flash
407
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,325
and save ourselves $200
at the same time,
408
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,327
but no, you won't
trust a woman.
409
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:31,762
[MUMBLING] Gloria,
that's not the point.
410
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,397
I just want a good doctor!
411
00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,666
He's absolutely right.
412
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,000
McKenzie costs more
413
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,503
because the best
always cost more.
414
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,372
That's how you tell
what's good in America.
415
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,907
It costs more.
416
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:49,647
Sometimes Marcus Welby
don't charge nothing at all.
417
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:56,720
And you can't get
better than him.
418
00:15:56,722 --> 00:16:00,057
Maybe we ought
to turn on the TV, Edith,
419
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:03,394
and Welby will jump
out of the set and help us.
420
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,896
Daddy, McKenzie gets
more than Audrey Stern
421
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,898
because women are
always underpaid.
422
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,999
Look at Ma!
423
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,601
What are you dragging
her into it for?
424
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:11,768
She don't work.
425
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,238
Oh, no? What do you call
housework, a vacation?
426
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,573
Well, it ain't work.
427
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:17,208
You never see nobody
paying for it.
428
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,276
No, you sure don't see
Ma paid for it.
429
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:23,681
No, I sure don't see me
being paid for it.
430
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,749
Will you stifle
yourself over there?
431
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:29,553
Well, housework
is an important job, Archie.
432
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,323
It's just as important
as your job.
433
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,259
That is a whole lot of baloney
there, Edith.
434
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,760
The man is the breadwinner
435
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,729
and you women
have your bread won for you.
436
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,531
That's the way it is
all over the world.
437
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,466
You're wrong, Arch.
There are plenty of tribes
438
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:45,068
where the men sit at home
and the women go out to work.
439
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,270
Where, where, where?
440
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,171
Well, there's a tribe
in New Guinea...
441
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,140
Don't be bringing
the I-talians into it.
442
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,981
God made women to stay at home.
443
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:01,252
How do you know that, Archie?
444
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:04,988
Because it's in the Bible,
Edith. Look it up, huh?
445
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,657
All them old Bible guys,
446
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:09,092
they was always out there
hunting and fishing.
447
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,328
The women stayed home
and had babies,
448
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,330
which they called
in them days "begotten,"
449
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:16,933
for religious reasons.
450
00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,269
And in between
all the begotten,
451
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,970
the women was sweeping
up the tents,
452
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,572
they was milking
the cows,
453
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,440
polishing up
all the idols...
454
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:24,975
102.
455
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,109
As many as they had.
456
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,583
No, that's my temperature.
457
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,786
Yeah, I don't feel good at all.
458
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:36,787
Oh.
459
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,255
GLORIA: Michael,
what's the matter?
460
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,023
Oh, I don't feel good.
Can I help?
461
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:41,592
I'm sick.
Get out of the way!
462
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,959
What is it? Michael!
463
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,628
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
464
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,665
Now, this is awful.
465
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,867
I better pack a bag
for the hospital for him,
466
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:52,436
just in case.
467
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,438
What did Dr. McKenzie say?
468
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,939
I didn't talk to him, Edith.
469
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,341
They're trying to find the man.
470
00:17:57,343 --> 00:18:01,278
He could be on any golf course
in town.
471
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,147
Well, maybe we should've called
Dr. Stern.
472
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:05,683
She would've been here now.
473
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,184
She's in the neighborhood.
474
00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,752
So is Thomas Eddy, the butcher,
475
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,254
but I wouldn't call him
for an operation.
476
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:15,125
Ma? Michael threw up.
He's really sick.
477
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,893
I can't wait for
Dr. McKenzie to call.
478
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,962
I'm gonna call
Audrey Stern right now.
479
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:20,397
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
480
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,432
No!
481
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,467
Hello?
482
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:24,935
Yes. This is
Mrs. Stivic.
483
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,571
Oh, my husband is really sick.
484
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:31,775
He has a temperature now of 102
and he just--
485
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,744
The receiving room
in a half an hour.
486
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,879
Yes, we'll have him there.
Thank you very much.
487
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,548
Was that Dr. McKenzie?
488
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,749
No, that was his nurse.
489
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,784
She said to get Michael
to the hospital right away.
490
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,186
I'll pack
the bag right now.
491
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,756
McKenzie's gonna
meet us there.
492
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,624
I don't know how
we're gonna pay him.
493
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,959
Have you thought
about that?
494
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,494
Yeah, I thought
about that.
495
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:52,596
You ain't gonna pay him.
What?
496
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,864
I am.
497
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,899
But Daddy,
you can't do that.
498
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:58,502
Now, don't be telling me
what I can't do, little girl.
499
00:18:59,937 --> 00:19:02,005
But, Daddy, it's such
a lot of money.
500
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,607
Yeah, I know
it's a lot of money.
501
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,276
All right, youse pay me back
whenever you can.
502
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,445
I'll put it on
the meathead's tab.
503
00:19:11,349 --> 00:19:13,584
Daddy, that's
so sweet of you.
504
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,552
Don't be slobbering me
like your mother, now.
505
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:16,587
That's from Michael too.
506
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,154
Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
507
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,656
Wait a minute.
Come here.
508
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,792
Now, don't tell Michael nothing
about my paying for that.
509
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,594
I don't want him
to know nothing about it.
510
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,596
But, Daddy,
Michael should know.
511
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,499
I mean, you're doing
such a nice thing for him.
512
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:32,736
Well, after all, you know,
he's, uh...
513
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:35,839
the only meathead you got,
right?
514
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,475
Daddy, sometimes
I could just--
515
00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:41,845
And then sometimes you're--
516
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,246
Thank you, Daddy.
517
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:45,449
All right, let me make
a phone call for a cab.
518
00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,118
MICHAEL: Oh, boy.
519
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,253
Michael, are you feeling
a little bit better now?
520
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,423
Yeah, a little bit better.
The ice pack is helping.
521
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,057
Oh, good, because
we're gonna take you
522
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,559
to the hospital,
right away.
523
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:56,760
Huh?
524
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:58,361
Just come on. Sit down
right over here.
525
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,730
Ma's getting your bag.
526
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,732
Here it is,
all packed.
527
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,534
Well, I don't know
about going to the hospital.
528
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,902
I mean, I feel better now.
529
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,137
Oh, it's just like
going to the dentist.
530
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,672
When you know
you're going,
531
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,941
your tooth always
stops aching.
532
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,143
Yeah. I wish
this were a tooth.
533
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,578
Oh, no, Mike.
534
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:20,651
It would be much more serious
if there was a tooth down there.
535
00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:28,191
What was that, Ma?
536
00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:30,961
Well, you would have
to have swallowed it
537
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,362
like a cherry pit,
538
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:35,298
and it would've got
stuck in your appendix.
539
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,500
Stop, Ma.
540
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:39,870
When Mrs. Wiedermeyer
had her appendix out,
541
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,239
the doctor said it was
an apple seed stuck in there.
542
00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:45,241
Stop, Ma.
543
00:20:45,243 --> 00:20:51,147
And, um, it... It puffed out
like a big balloon,
544
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:54,818
and the doctor got to it
just before it blew up.
545
00:20:56,454 --> 00:20:58,822
I think I'm sick again.
546
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,023
All right, we're all set.
547
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:02,225
I called a cab.
It'll be over in a few minutes.
548
00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:04,227
Oh, gee, I'm not looking
forward to this at all.
549
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:05,261
Don't worry, sweetheart.
550
00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,864
I'm gonna be
right there with you.
551
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:08,866
Ma, did you remember
to pack everything?
552
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,201
Uh, his toothbrush
and his razor?
553
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:13,069
Ah, he won't need no razor
in the hospital.
554
00:21:13,071 --> 00:21:14,471
If there's
any shaving to be done,
555
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,939
they know where to do it.
556
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,313
I think I got everything.
557
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,816
Did you remember his teddy bear?
558
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:26,884
Stop it, Daddy.
559
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,685
I'm only trying
to cheer him up.
560
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:31,889
His pajamas.
I forgot his pajamas.
561
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,223
I'll get them--
Aah!
562
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,892
Michael, wait!
563
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:36,960
Michael, what's
the matter?
564
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,328
The ice pack
slipped!
565
00:21:49,507 --> 00:21:50,741
Is he all
right, doctor?
566
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,042
Yes, he's fine.
567
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,577
He'll be coming around
any minute now.
568
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:56,413
Any problems with the
operation there, doc?
569
00:21:56,415 --> 00:21:57,447
No, no problems at all.
570
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,315
That appendix came out
like a loose cork.
571
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,021
But you didn't get him here
a minute too soon.
572
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,822
We had to rush him
straight onto the table.
573
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:07,290
Oh, my.
574
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:11,428
It's lucky nobody else
was lying on it.
575
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:15,832
Yeah.
576
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:18,969
Archie, don't Mike
look well?
577
00:22:21,806 --> 00:22:26,142
First time I ever seen him
his mouth wasn't working.
578
00:22:26,144 --> 00:22:29,012
I can't thank you
enough, Dr. McKenzie.
579
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,247
Uh... Oh, I'm not
Dr. McKenzie.
580
00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:32,816
I'm the anesthetist.
581
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:36,286
Dr. McKenzie will be here
any minute.
582
00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,721
Oh, here she is now.
583
00:22:42,226 --> 00:22:44,561
Are you really
Dr. McKenzie?
584
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:45,596
Yes.
585
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,363
[GIGGLES]
586
00:22:48,833 --> 00:22:52,135
It's very nice to meet you.
I'm Mrs. Stivic.
587
00:22:53,871 --> 00:22:56,272
How do you do?
588
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:57,574
What's so funny?
589
00:22:57,576 --> 00:22:59,509
Oh, forgive me
for laughing, doctor,
590
00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:02,045
but my father though
that you were an old man
591
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,047
and I'm glad you're not.
592
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,515
So am I.
593
00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:06,950
Daddy, would you
come over here
594
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:07,951
for a second, please?
595
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,385
I have to
talk to you.
596
00:23:09,387 --> 00:23:10,754
What?
Come here.
597
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:13,724
I-- I just want to know
what you think now.
598
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,458
I mean, the operation's
a success,
599
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,061
and it was done
by a woman doctor,
600
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:20,196
and Michael's
keister's still on.
601
00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:49,660
Look at him eating over here.
602
00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:51,294
Got his appendix out,
603
00:23:51,296 --> 00:23:54,264
so now he's got more room
down there.
604
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,133
You're not going
to get me angry, Arch.
605
00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:58,835
I feel great.
The operation was sensation--
606
00:23:58,837 --> 00:23:59,836
Oh, don't go on
607
00:23:59,838 --> 00:24:01,104
talking about the
operation, will you?
608
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,172
We're sick of it.
609
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:03,974
Oh, no, I want
to hear about it
610
00:24:03,976 --> 00:24:05,408
so I can remember it.
611
00:24:05,410 --> 00:24:07,010
What do you want
to remember it for?
612
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:08,211
You writing a book
or something?
613
00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:10,547
No, it's for Sybil Gooley.
614
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:13,349
She's always telling me
about her operation,
615
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:16,753
and now I got an operation
to tell her about.
616
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:19,890
You don't mind if I use yours,
do you, Mike?
617
00:24:19,892 --> 00:24:21,825
No, Ma, just make sure
to tell her
618
00:24:21,827 --> 00:24:23,660
how good Dr. McKenzie was.
619
00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:26,396
Well, hooray
for our side.
620
00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:29,599
One giant step
for womankind.
621
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:31,634
I wish the womankind
at this table
622
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:33,870
would take one giant step
into the kitchen
623
00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:36,006
and come back with some ketchup.
624
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,440
No, Ma, you sit
right there
625
00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:38,608
and enjoy
your dinner.
626
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:39,810
If Daddy wants
the ketchup,
627
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:41,211
he can get it
for himself.
628
00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:43,213
Who the hell are you...
629
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:47,283
[ALL ARGUING LOUDLY]
630
00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,705
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recorded on tape
631
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:11,441
before a live audience.
632
00:25:11,491 --> 00:25:16,041
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
45401
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