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00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,670
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
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00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,619 --> 00:00:57,555
♪ Happy second
Anniversary to you ♪
13
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,659
♪ Happy second anniversary
To you ♪
14
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:01,693
[GRUMBLING]
15
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,361
♪ Happy second anniversary-- ♪
16
00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:06,064
Pull the plug on that!
Pull the plug on that!
17
00:01:09,601 --> 00:01:11,335
[QUICKLY] ♪ Happy second
Anniversary to you ♪
18
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:15,740
Oh, Ma, that
was so sweet.
19
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,741
Yeah, thanks, Ma.
20
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,443
Oh, it was a little
high for me.
21
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:23,247
I should have started
in a different key.
22
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,684
You should have started
in a different city.
23
00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:29,487
Daddy, don't be
such a grouch.
24
00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,889
Come on, blow
out the candles
25
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:31,890
before they
melt the cake.
26
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:32,924
Wait!
27
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,026
First comes the wish.
28
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:38,163
I already made
my wish, Edith.
29
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,932
Not yours, Archie.
Mike and Gloria's.
30
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,267
It's their wedding
anniversary.
31
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,268
I know, Edith.
32
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,137
My wish didn't
come true.
33
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:48,973
Come on, Michael.
34
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,108
Okay... Ready?
35
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,542
Yeah.
36
00:01:51,544 --> 00:01:52,543
Aw...
37
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:54,445
Oh, good!
38
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,582
You blew out
all the candles.
39
00:01:57,584 --> 00:02:00,251
That means your wish
is going to come true.
40
00:02:02,487 --> 00:02:04,089
Well, that there wish
better not come true
41
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,557
down here in
the dining room.
42
00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:08,426
ARCHIE: Aw,
look at this!
43
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,995
All right, Edith, when
you can pry them apart,
44
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,463
I'll take my cake
over there.
45
00:02:13,599 --> 00:02:14,599
Gloria, it's time
46
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:17,001
for the bride
to cut the cake.
47
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,838
Oh, thanks, Ma,
but I'm not a bride anymore.
48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,773
I'm an old married lady now.
49
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,407
Yeah, well,
living with the meathead
50
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:26,811
has put a lot of years
on all of us.
51
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,246
Oh, no, Archie.
52
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,982
I was looking through
the wedding pictures
53
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:34,452
and you look better now
than you did then.
54
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:37,388
Well, I was in a state
of shock then.
55
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,389
Here, I brought you
56
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:40,458
a piece with
a rose on it.
57
00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,893
All right, Edith,
leave it there.
58
00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:44,028
You want your cake
over there too, Ma?
59
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:45,764
Oh, no. Later, Gloria.
60
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:49,234
I don't want to get
this album sticky.
61
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:53,638
Oh, my, look
at this picture.
62
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,040
Ain't that wonderful?
63
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:59,477
Look, Archie, a picture
of our living room.
64
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:03,314
Gee, Edith, now we know
what it looks like.
65
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:07,351
But, Archie, it ain't
our living room now.
66
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,021
It's our
living room then.
67
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,023
Yeah, the magic
of photography.
68
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,758
How thrilling.
69
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,027
Daddy, it's a
lovely picture.
70
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,095
I mean--
71
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,097
look at all the
beautiful flowers and things
72
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,832
that were brought in
for the wedding.
73
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,633
All I can think of is
the unbeautiful thing
74
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:23,835
that stayed after the wedding.
75
00:03:26,438 --> 00:03:27,839
Daddy, why do
you have to say
76
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,941
such horrible things
all the time?
77
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,342
No, that's all right, Gloria.
78
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,845
Actually, your father's
on his best behavior tonight.
79
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,313
I mean, haven't you noticed?
80
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:37,348
He only called me
an unbeautiful thing.
81
00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:39,684
He could have called me
an unbeautiful Polack.
82
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,687
The night is young, Meathead.
83
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,356
Oh, no, Archie,
it's not just tonight.
84
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,657
You know, since
I've been living
85
00:03:46,659 --> 00:03:48,659
in the house with you
the last couple of years,
86
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,228
I think I've
influenced you.
87
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:54,665
The only thing you've influenced
around here is my food bill.
88
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,067
Arch, you don't have
to get upset.
89
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,368
So you've mellowed a little bit.
90
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,769
I mean, that could happen
to anybody.
91
00:03:58,771 --> 00:03:59,770
Get out of here.
92
00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,706
I think you're right,
Michael.
93
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:02,907
All those
nice quiet talks
94
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,908
you've had with Daddy--
95
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,310
you've had
a good effect on him.
96
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:06,911
Nothing has no effect on me!
97
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,146
What are you
talking about, Arch?
98
00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,147
You've changed.
99
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,548
I ain't changed.
100
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,549
You have too.
101
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:12,550
Get away from me.
102
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:15,419
Yeah, I think
he's right, Archie.
103
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,056
Like you haven't said
the word "coon"
104
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,124
in almost a year.
105
00:04:22,494 --> 00:04:23,761
What are you talking about?
106
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,496
I say it every day.
107
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,098
You haven't said it
in front of us.
108
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,366
Well, all right, then.
109
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,735
Coon, coon, coon!
110
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,303
You want it, you got it.
111
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:36,007
Oh, Archie, I'm sorry
I reminded you.
112
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,608
Look, Arch,
113
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,443
nobody's accusing you
of turning into a diplomat.
114
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,645
It's just that-- me living here
the last couple of years--
115
00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:43,248
I think I've worn you down
a bit.
116
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,849
The only thing
you've worn down around here
117
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:45,716
is your knife and fork.
118
00:04:47,786 --> 00:04:49,854
Oh, look!
119
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:53,591
Here's Mike's uncle Casimir
eating cake.
120
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,593
Oh, yeah,
that proves you've mellowed.
121
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,561
Remember the first time
you met my uncle Cas?
122
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,063
Yeah, so what?
123
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,465
All right, so you remember
the first time he came over here
124
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,600
to discuss the wedding plans
125
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,235
and Ma had bought
those fancy pastries?
126
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,669
Don't you remember
127
00:05:05,671 --> 00:05:07,705
the first words you saidabout my uncle Cas?
128
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,573
What's all
the fancy pastries for?
129
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,143
Who the hell is your uncle,
the head janitor of Poland?
130
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,477
Daddy!
131
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,979
Look, Mr. Bunker,
I'm telling you--
132
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,080
Michael, Michael,
calm down.
133
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,081
Don't be angry!
134
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,682
I'm not angry, Gloria.
135
00:05:18,684 --> 00:05:20,584
It's just-- We shouldn't
have done it this way.
136
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:21,585
Well, it was your idea
137
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,254
to have your uncle over
for coffee.
138
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,522
Yeah, that's because
I was worried
139
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,490
about having him
over for dinner.
140
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,326
I was worried
about all that dinner talk.
141
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,628
Now I'm worried
about all that coffee talk.
142
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:31,963
Don't worry.
143
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,697
Gloria, you don't know my uncle.
144
00:05:33,699 --> 00:05:35,566
He's very sensitive
about Polish jokes,
145
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:37,168
and your father's
out there in the kitchen
146
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,804
sharpening up his repertoire.
147
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,673
But, Michael, it's possible
that your uncle and my father
148
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,175
could get along just fine.
149
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,609
You really think so?
150
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,979
No.
151
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,647
Gloria,
152
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:52,083
why can't we just do
what we originally wanted?
153
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,851
You mean,
just live together?
154
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,153
Yeah, why not?
155
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,454
Michael,
don't even bring that up.
156
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:57,721
You know my father.
157
00:05:57,723 --> 00:06:00,925
Gloria, it's not him
I want to live with.
158
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,260
Michael...
159
00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:05,964
Hey, hotlips.
160
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,500
You're doing that
161
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,135
in front of
her father here.
162
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,903
Uh, well,
we were just kissing.
163
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:16,341
I know what it was.
164
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:19,777
I seen it in the movies,
165
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,779
and if this is the preview
of the coming attractions,
166
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,047
I don't want to see the picture.
167
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:25,516
You know, Daddy,
that's the trouble
168
00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:27,085
with your
whole generation.
169
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,819
You're afraid to show affection
openly.
170
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:32,323
We ain't afraid
to show affection openly.
171
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,558
We believe in showing it openly
where it belongs,
172
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,626
behind closed doors.
173
00:06:37,863 --> 00:06:39,597
We know all about
your love there.
174
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,065
The only thing is,
175
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,266
we don't believe
in smooching there,
176
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,568
out in broad daylight,
that's all.
177
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,737
We was a little bit romantic--
178
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:50,475
liked to do it in the dark,
like in a hallway or an alley.
179
00:06:52,211 --> 00:06:54,278
EDITH:
Hello, everybody!
180
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,247
Oh, Ma, your new
dress looks lovely.
181
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,249
Oh, you think
so, Gloria?
182
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,118
Beautiful.
You look terrific.
183
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,020
Oh, thank you, Mike.
184
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:04,288
Gloria, I hope you don't mind.
185
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,923
I used your perfume.
186
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,525
Do you like it, Archie?
187
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,760
Oh, Edith, move it over there,
will you?
188
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:14,899
It smells like you sprayed
yourself with a can of Raid.
189
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,534
What are you all dolled up for,
anyhow?
190
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:19,637
Because we're meeting
Mike's uncle Casimir.
191
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:22,006
You don't have to put on
a new dress for that.
192
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:24,342
All you need is
a clean bowling shirt.
193
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:28,179
Look, Mr. Bunker, I don't care
what you say about me,
194
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,713
but you'd better
watch what you say
195
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:31,149
about my uncle.
196
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,584
I ain't saying nothing personal
against the man.
197
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,985
For all I know, he may be,
198
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,587
what do you call,
a very decent guy.
199
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:37,988
The only thing is,
200
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,924
he's got two strikes
against him from the start.
201
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,159
What do you mean by that?
202
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,094
Well, he's Polish. Strike one.
203
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,095
Wait a second.
204
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,497
And...he's Polish. Strike two.
205
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,099
You see what
I mean, Gloria?
206
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,300
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
207
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,701
Look, Mr. Bunker,
Hold it. Hold it.
208
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:51,869
Hold your thought.
209
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,305
I do believe I hear
the telephone ringing.
210
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,373
"Excusez-moy."
211
00:07:57,008 --> 00:07:59,410
Gloria, this is ridiculous!
Michael, calm down.
212
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,611
Don't lose your temper.
I haven't!
213
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,012
I'm in complete
control of my temper!
214
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:03,081
You're shouting!
215
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,249
I am not shouting!
I am not shouting!
216
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:08,152
My temper just happens
to be talking louder than usual.
217
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:12,123
Hey, over there, I happen to be
on the telephone over here.
218
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,691
Michael, don't throw
everything away
219
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:14,692
because of
a stupid joke.
220
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:15,926
Calm down.
221
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:17,695
I'll try, Gloria,
but I'm telling you,
222
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,131
one more Polish crack,
and I'm walking out of here!
223
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,999
You know, they ought
to fumigate his mind,
224
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,268
if they can ever find it!
225
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,736
Michael, please!
226
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,838
He'll be better when
he gets to know you.
227
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,540
Maybe you can
help him change.
228
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,775
Please, just can't you control
yourself a little longer?
229
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:32,910
Why should
I control myself?
230
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,078
What is that bull
231
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,679
about my uncle having
two strikes against him
232
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:36,847
just because he's Polish?
233
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,449
Look, let me tell you something,
Mr. Bunker...
234
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,650
Let me tell you
something there,
235
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:40,784
young fellow.
236
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:43,121
I just got
off of the telephone here--
237
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,591
a guy--
a gent called Casimir Stivic--
238
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,992
your uncle, I presume,
239
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,094
calling me from
the corner phone booth.
240
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:52,163
The reason
he ain't at the house yet
241
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:55,766
is that, uh,
he forgot the number.
242
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,301
Strike three. Case closed.
243
00:08:57,303 --> 00:09:00,070
That's it! That's it!
I lost my temper!
244
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,339
Michael!
Michael!
245
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,540
Look, Gloria, Gloria,
you don't understand.
246
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,807
My uncle--
he's not going to
247
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:04,875
put up with
that stuff!
248
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,877
Now, Archie,
you'd better be careful
249
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,180
what you say
around Mike's uncle.
250
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,748
I'll do better than that, Edith.
251
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,950
I won't say nothing at all.
252
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,352
Oh, this is
going to be great.
253
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,753
Let's just forget
the whole thing, Gloria.
254
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,255
No!
255
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,056
Michael's uncle has come
all the way from Chicago
256
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,124
to meet us
257
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,459
and discuss the wedding
with you.
258
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,928
I ain't interested in discussing
no wedding arrangements
259
00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:27,398
with no uncle from Chicago.
260
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,801
The guy ain't even
a "bona fried" parent.
261
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,670
Look, what do you want
from me, Mr. Bunker?
262
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,005
My mother and father died
when I was little.
263
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:36,674
Listen, I'm sorry about that.
264
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:37,875
All I'm saying is
265
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,843
I don't want to discuss
no wedding arrangements
266
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:42,280
with a "substitute-ski."
267
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,648
Oh!
268
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,015
This is not
going to work.
269
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,084
Oh, Ma, can't you talk
to him, please?
270
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,287
I'll try, Gloria.
271
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,288
Archie...
272
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,790
Stifle.
273
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,092
I guess I can't,
Gloria.
274
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,494
Daddy, all I'm
asking you to do
275
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,128
is meet his uncle
halfway.
276
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:01,432
I mean, he's a self-made man
like yourself, Daddy.
277
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,934
You see, you two might find
you have a lot in common.
278
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,504
Oh, yeah? What does the guy do
for a living?
279
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:07,438
He's a florist.
280
00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,141
A florist?
281
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,247
What does a Polish florist sell?
282
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,481
Weeds?
283
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:20,218
That's right,
Mr. Bunker!
284
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,353
He sells plenty of weeds
to guys like you!
285
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:23,954
What do you mean,
guys like me?
286
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,123
I think it must be wonderful
to work with flowers
287
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,092
and be surrounded by them
all day long.
288
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,194
Ah, what kind of a job is that--
289
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:33,997
prancing around
amongst the pansies all day?
290
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,866
That's what I call dumb work
for a man.
291
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,101
What's dumb about
trying to bring
292
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,302
a little beauty
into the world?
293
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,504
I ain't talking about that.
294
00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:41,872
All I'm saying is
295
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:43,974
that a real man ought
to be doing something useful,
296
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,843
like, for instance,
driving a hack,
297
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:49,347
tending bar, spreading asphalt.
298
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,283
Okay, Daddy, but people
need florists too,
299
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,751
and painters and poets.
300
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:57,355
Aw, very few people need them.
301
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,223
Turn on your television there.
302
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:00,424
All right, you get one channel,
303
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:01,859
and you see
a couple of fruitcakes
304
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,761
reading poetry at one another.
305
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,162
Then you flip over
to another channel,
306
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,564
and you see a couple of he-men
307
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,366
battling it out
in the middle of the ring.
308
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,367
Now, which one of them
309
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,369
is any real American
going to watch?
310
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:14,405
That depends what time it is,
Archie.
311
00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:18,108
What?
312
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:21,044
Because if Marcus Welby is on,
313
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:22,580
people would probably
want to watch that.
314
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:25,650
Will you stop driving me crazy
with Marcus Welby?
315
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:26,651
[DOORBELL RINGS]
316
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,653
Oh, that must be Uncle Cas.
317
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,455
Daddy, now, please
be nice, please.
318
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:34,191
I'm always nice, little girl.
319
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,528
Now, go and open the door
and let Uncle Polack in.
320
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,765
Look, Mr. Bunker,
this is the last warning.
321
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:41,832
He's very sensitive!
322
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,402
What, has he got a rash too?
323
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,403
Daddy!
324
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,904
All right, all right!
325
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,572
Go ahead.
Open the door.
326
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:54,178
Hey, Mickey. Ho ho ho!
327
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,346
Uncle Cas!
328
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,481
Gee, how are you?
It's good to see you.
329
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:58,949
This is Mrs. Bunker.
330
00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:00,351
Oh, how do you do,
Mrs. Bunker?
331
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,820
How do you do?
332
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,289
And this has got
to be Gloria.
333
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,957
Hi, Uncle Cas.
334
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,726
MICHAEL: Yeah,
and Uncle Cas...
335
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,960
Uncle Cas,
this is, uh...
336
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,730
Don't tell me.
337
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,731
You're Archie.
338
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,098
Yeah. Don't pick me up.
339
00:12:21,373 --> 00:12:24,041
Uh...are you
the florist?
340
00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,210
Yeah, I'm the florist.
341
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:27,511
Mickey's told me all about you.
342
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,647
I've been looking forward
to meeting you.
343
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:33,150
After all,
we're going to be related, huh?
344
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,652
Huh?
345
00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:39,623
Anything you say.
346
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:44,929
[ARCHIE CHUCKLING]
347
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,897
I'll tell you another one.
348
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,933
A Scotchman and a Hebe went
into business together, see--
349
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,701
Daddy!
350
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,269
Take it easy,
little girl.
351
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,739
I'm just telling
a nice little joke here.
352
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,874
A Scotchman and a Hebe
went into business together--
353
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,475
And they both went blind
watching each other.
354
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:02,579
Oh, jeez, you knew the tag line
there huh?
355
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,481
Well,
it's a good story anyway.
356
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,083
I knew
you were the kind of guy
357
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,484
that would like
a joke like that.
358
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:10,354
No. I'm the kind of guy
hates a joke like that.
359
00:13:11,489 --> 00:13:12,957
Oh.
360
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,027
Oh, well, you don't have to be
so prejudiced about it.
361
00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:20,998
I mean, after all, there are
certain breeds of human beings
362
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,301
that just naturally inflict
humor on themselves, you know.
363
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,003
You mean, like
Polish people?
364
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:29,173
I didn't say nothing
about Polish, did I?
365
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,641
I'm just talking
about people
366
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,276
and different
walks of life
367
00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:34,078
like, for instance,
well, sailors.
368
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,713
Now, sailors
is always funny.
369
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,914
Well, I was in the Marines,
370
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,515
and we thought the Air Corps
was funny.
371
00:13:40,451 --> 00:13:41,652
I was in the Air Corps.
372
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,089
What's funny
about the Air Corps?
373
00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:47,424
You were in
the Marines?
374
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,593
Yeah, I was a lieutenant
in World War II.
375
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,029
A lieutenant
in the Marines.
376
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,131
Ain't that something,
Archie?
377
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,632
All right, Edith.
378
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,968
He ain't exactly General
George C. Scott, you know.
379
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:02,173
After all,
a lot of your Marines
380
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,373
was lieutenants.
381
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:04,842
Speaking of which,
there, lieutenant,
382
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,945
I mean, how come
a big ex-Marine like you
383
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,446
turned to selling posies?
384
00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:14,284
Well, I guess you could say
it was because I was a Marine.
385
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,754
After I got out, I decided
I liked making things grow
386
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,322
better than knocking them down.
387
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,791
What a nice thought,
Uncle Cas.
388
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,993
Uh, we was supposed to be
talking about the wedding here.
389
00:14:22,995 --> 00:14:24,195
I heard there was some coffee.
390
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,596
Is there some coffee, Edith?
391
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,731
Oh, I'll get it, Ma.
392
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,132
Michael, will you
help me, please? Yeah.
393
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,200
ARCHIE:
Sit down, Edith.
394
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,201
No, not there.
395
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,203
Sit on the sofa over there.
396
00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:34,839
Well, there, lieutenant,
397
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,808
I understood you had
some wedding plans.
398
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,811
Oh, my, wedding plans.
399
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:45,716
It just seems like yesterday
when Gloria was a little baby
400
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,086
crawling around the floor
playing with Arthur.
401
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:51,521
I didn't know you
had another child.
402
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:52,556
We didn't.
403
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:53,891
Arthur was
a dirty little cat.
404
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:59,063
But he was like a brother
to Gloria.
405
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,065
Edith, Edith,
nobody's listening to you.
406
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,967
I'm listening.
407
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,501
Oh, yeah?
408
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:07,972
All right, go ahead,
tell him anything you want.
409
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:11,041
Well, Gloria loved
playing with Arthur,
410
00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:14,111
and she tried to imitate
everything he did.
411
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:18,048
You should have heard Gloria
meow for her supper.
412
00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:24,521
Jeez, I hated that cat's guts.
413
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:29,359
Arthur was like a watchdog
to Gloria.
414
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:34,031
Or a watchcat. Yeah.
415
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:37,802
Arthur used to scratch anybody
that would yell at Gloria.
416
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:41,438
We had to keep
a lot of iodine handy
417
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,606
for Archie.
418
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,410
So the cat used to
scratch you, huh, Arch?
419
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,713
Yeah, the cat
hated my guts.
420
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,916
Tell us about Mike.
421
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,118
What was he like
when he was little?
422
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,887
Oh, well, he was a very
special kind of kid.
423
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,689
He really liked people.
424
00:15:58,691 --> 00:15:59,890
He always had this urge
425
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,092
to help people
worse off than he was.
426
00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:05,429
Who could be worse off
than him?
427
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:10,301
Oh, I see, you mean
428
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,203
because his mom and dad
passed away?
429
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,571
Well, yeah, that too.
430
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:19,376
Archie, ain't we lucky
431
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:24,715
that we're here to see
our little girl get married?
432
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:29,419
♪ Where is the little girl
I carried? ♪
433
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:30,787
♪ Da, da, da ♪
434
00:16:30,789 --> 00:16:33,958
Oh, jeez,
The Dingbat on the Roof.
435
00:16:35,693 --> 00:16:38,729
♪ Sunset, sunrise ♪
436
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,765
♪ Stifle, stifle ♪
437
00:16:43,668 --> 00:16:45,269
Coffee and goodies,
everybody.
438
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:46,403
Come and get it.
439
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:47,838
I'll help you, Gloria.
440
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,439
What do you mean,
"Come and get it"?
441
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:50,941
We ain't on a ranch.
442
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:52,943
Bring it over here.
443
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,778
Help her out, Edith.
Hurry it up, will you?
444
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:55,946
Now, we was
talking about
445
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:56,947
these wedding plans.
446
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,215
Here's your cake.
447
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,017
I don't care what
you decide about the plans,
448
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,219
as long as we have Chinese food
for the reception.
449
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:03,888
Yeah, that's what
Michael and I decided.
450
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:04,889
It's our favorite.
451
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,523
Ah, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
452
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,892
You ain't eating
no Chinky food
453
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,660
at this here wedding.
454
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,696
That's "Chinese" food.
455
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,132
Chinese or whatever.
456
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,334
Chinese food
is for a Chinese wedding.
457
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,736
At an American wedding,
you eat American food.
458
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,505
You don't see Julie Nixon
and David Eisenhower
459
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:24,208
eating Chinks at their wedding,
do you?
460
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,742
How do you know what they ate?
461
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,577
Because in the first place,
462
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,114
Chinky food at a wedding
ain't fancy.
463
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,615
In the second place,
anything Chinky
464
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,351
is ix-nay with Nixon,
and he's right.
465
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,387
Wait a second,
wait a second, Mr. Bunker.
466
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,388
No, Michael.
467
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,689
No, no, I want
to make a point here.
468
00:17:39,691 --> 00:17:41,158
Mr. Bunker, I think
that before long,
469
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,893
this country's going
to recognize China,
470
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,361
and I wouldn't be surprised
471
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,030
if one day
Nixon went there himself.
472
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:50,100
Nixon make a trip to Red China?
473
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,469
Never in a million years, buddy.
474
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,172
And remember where
you heard that the first time.
475
00:17:57,675 --> 00:17:59,876
And I don't want to talk
this crazy stuff with you.
476
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,245
All I'm saying is,
477
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,247
there's going to be no
Chinky food at this wedding.
478
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,248
Right, Casimir?
479
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,283
Wrong.
480
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:09,453
Yeah, my side of the family
votes for Chinese food.
481
00:18:09,455 --> 00:18:11,188
MIKE AND GLORIA:
Yeah.
482
00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:15,092
Oh, well, what the hell.
483
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,460
You voting me down there,
484
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,362
I guess you can have
what you want, then.
485
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,563
Only I'm warning you,
486
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,565
I ain't going to eat
a spoonful of the stuff.
487
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:22,766
I'll send out.
488
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,168
I'll order something
sent in for myself,
489
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,735
something American,
like a pizza.
490
00:18:29,807 --> 00:18:31,541
Go ahead, stuff yourselves
with Chinky food
491
00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,876
if you want to.
492
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,478
Ain't no skin
off of my nose.
493
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,546
Casimir here is
springing for it.
494
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:38,748
Oh, no, Archie.
495
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,584
The father
of the bride
496
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,819
always pays
for everything.
497
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:45,522
We wouldn't think
of letting him pay.
498
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:49,093
Yes, we would, Edith.
499
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,261
In fact, that's what
we were thinking of right now.
500
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:53,330
Daddy, you're spoiling
everything.
501
00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,865
I ain't spoiling nothing.
502
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,534
I'm holding up my end
in everything here.
503
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,668
Show you what I mean--
504
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,070
you don't have to
have your shindig
505
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,372
in that big
rented hall.
506
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,240
You can have it
right here.
507
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:04,274
Here in
the house?
508
00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:06,676
Right here in my house.
509
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:09,446
The rented hall is too big,
it's too drafty...
510
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:10,747
Too expensive.
511
00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:15,319
Was you told
something before?
512
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,154
Stifle?
513
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,055
Bingo!
514
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,658
Well, if you're
going to have
515
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,260
the party here
in the house,
516
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:24,561
I guess all
you can have
517
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:25,795
is the immediate
family.
518
00:19:25,797 --> 00:19:27,964
Right, and the less
of them the better.
519
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:31,035
My, a wedding party
in the house.
520
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,870
We can decorate
the whole downstairs.
521
00:19:33,872 --> 00:19:36,740
I'll tell you what.
I'll do the flower arranging.
522
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:37,741
Whoop-dee-do.
523
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,309
I'll whip up
a batch of cookies.
524
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:43,213
Hey, Arch, what about music?
525
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,215
Well, I ain't going to pay
for nothing like that.
526
00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,518
It won't cost nothing, Archie.
527
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,587
The Reverend Felcher's
going to perform the ceremony.
528
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:54,091
I'll ask Mrs. Felcher
to play the piano.
529
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,092
Hold it, hold it.
530
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,893
Mrs. Felcher?
531
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,328
What kind of priest has a wife?
532
00:19:58,330 --> 00:19:59,896
Oh, he ain't a priest.
533
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,332
He's the minister
from our church.
534
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:07,938
Oh, he's the minister
of the church, huh?
535
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,207
Well, he ain't performing
this ceremony!
536
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,942
What's the matter,
Uncle Cas? Why not?
537
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,477
It doesn't mean
anything to me.
538
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,978
Well, it means something to me,
539
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,813
and it meant something
to your father.
540
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,915
Now, you were born
and baptized a Catholic,
541
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,418
and I promised your father
that when the time came,
542
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,887
a priest would administer
the sacrament of marriage.
543
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,189
Hold it. Hold it.
544
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:27,324
I got something to say
about this here.
545
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,326
I ain't going through
with none of these ceremonies
546
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,061
with all that mumbo jumbo--
547
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,164
some Catholic priest sprinkling
"incest" over everybody.
548
00:20:40,371 --> 00:20:43,173
My nephew's getting
married by a priest.
549
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,408
That's okay with me,
550
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,610
but my daughter is going
to get married in a church
551
00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:48,445
where she's been going
and we've been going
552
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:49,446
all our lives,
553
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,880
by this other guy,
the reverend--
554
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:51,881
What do you call him?
555
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,419
Felcher.
556
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:56,620
Yeah, well, whatever.
557
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,389
Wait a minute. Why
doesn't somebody ask us?
558
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:00,524
Yeah, in the
first place,
559
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:02,226
we never wanted
a priest or a reverend.
560
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,227
What?
561
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:04,461
What are you talking about?
562
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,030
Mike, I don't understand.
563
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:09,233
It's very simple, Mrs. Bunker.
564
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,267
I'm an agnostic.
565
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,436
Oh.
566
00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:16,473
You mean you want a rabbi?
567
00:21:20,378 --> 00:21:23,013
It's worse than that, Edith.
568
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,681
I think it means
he can't have kids.
569
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:34,158
Daddy, an agnostic
is a person
570
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,293
who questions
the existence of God.
571
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,862
Well, I question the existence
of this whole wedding.
572
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,230
Fine, fine,
573
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:41,431
we don't have to
get married.
574
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:42,832
You're damn right
you don't.
575
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:44,034
That's right, we'll
just live together.
576
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,135
Michael!
What?
577
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,203
Mickey, what
are you saying?
578
00:21:46,205 --> 00:21:47,671
No, I'm sorry,
Uncle Cas, but...
579
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,506
Michael, why did
you bring that up?
580
00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:50,507
Well, why not, Gloria?
581
00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:51,975
I mean, this whole
thing is ridiculous.
582
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,076
You don't like the idea
583
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:54,311
of other people
making our decision?
584
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,180
Michael, please!
Gloria, isn't this our life?
585
00:21:56,182 --> 00:21:57,347
Yes, Michael--
586
00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,550
All right, so do you want
your father and my uncle
587
00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:00,950
to make suggestions
on everything we do--
588
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:02,752
how to dress, eat,
sleep, make love?
589
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,154
Hold it, there!
590
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:07,023
I don't like that last one
in mixed company.
591
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:08,525
Does that bother
you, Mr. Bunker?
592
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:09,926
Because whether
you like it or not,
593
00:22:09,928 --> 00:22:11,928
people do make love
every now and then.
594
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:14,631
More then than now.
595
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,509
Will you stifle yourself?
596
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:26,910
I'll tell you
the kind of people
597
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:27,911
that does them things
598
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,145
without benefit
of clergy--
599
00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:30,514
your communists,
your hippies,
600
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:32,749
and worst of all,
your fags.
601
00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:36,119
Oh, no, Archie,
I read in LIFE magazine
602
00:22:36,121 --> 00:22:38,222
even they're getting married.
603
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:40,357
Do you want your daughter
604
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,158
living in sin with this
dumb Polack over here?
605
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,159
Just a second,
Bunker!
606
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:44,528
No, no, no, no, Uncle Cas.
607
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:45,762
Let me handle this.
608
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,864
You call me a dumb Polack,
Mr. Bunker?
609
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,065
Well, let me tell you something.
610
00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:50,834
This dumb Polack
is smart enough to know
611
00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:52,269
that he's not dumb enough
612
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:53,970
to have this nonsense
shoved down our throats.
613
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,038
Michael, don't say
those things.
614
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,440
No, no,
I'm saying it right now.
615
00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:57,441
This wedding's off.
616
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:58,442
Michael, where
are you going?
617
00:22:58,444 --> 00:23:00,176
ARCHIE: Let him go.
let him go.
618
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:01,645
The wedding's off!
619
00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:04,080
Michael!
620
00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:06,550
[BAWLING]
621
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,253
Gloria,
Gloria.
622
00:23:09,255 --> 00:23:11,020
Calm down!
623
00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:14,591
This wedding is going
to be all right.
624
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:16,993
Mickey'll come back.
625
00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,863
Oh, Archie,
we'll get them married.
626
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,065
Yeah, when the kids
are off on their honeymoon
627
00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:24,668
and everything
is back to normal,
628
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:26,637
I'm going to come around
and see you again.
629
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,339
What for?
630
00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:32,842
So I can beat
the hell out of you.
631
00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:50,294
Yeah, I remember
632
00:23:50,296 --> 00:23:52,929
your charming uncle
from Chicago, all right.
633
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:56,733
I tried hard to be nice
and polite to the big slob,
634
00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:58,702
but when he left here,
he was threatening me.
635
00:23:58,704 --> 00:23:59,869
Oh, come on, Arch,
636
00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,672
my uncle wouldn't have
done a thing like that.
637
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:02,673
How do you know?
638
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,107
You wasn't even in the room.
639
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,510
He swore he'd come back here
with a whole bunch of guys
640
00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:08,745
and work me over.
641
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:09,913
Arch, you're lying.
642
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,715
What are you saying
a thing like that for?
643
00:24:11,717 --> 00:24:15,018
Archie, you're spoiling
the anniversary.
644
00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:16,119
Yeah, just like
645
00:24:16,121 --> 00:24:17,621
you almost spoiled
the wedding.
646
00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:19,889
Listen, the only one that
spoiled anything around here
647
00:24:19,891 --> 00:24:20,890
was the meathead.
648
00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:21,958
He spoiled everything.
649
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,427
What are you
talking about?
650
00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:24,728
I came back, didn't I?
651
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:27,698
That's what I'm talking about.
652
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,232
Aw, come on,
Arch.
653
00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:31,435
What do you have to start
a thing like that for?
654
00:24:31,437 --> 00:24:33,136
ANNOUNCER:
Next week: Part Two.
655
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,472
And you're all invitedto the wedding.
656
00:24:49,153 --> 00:24:52,823
[♪]
657
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:54,725
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recorded on tape
658
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:56,793
before a live audience.
659
00:24:56,843 --> 00:25:01,393
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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