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1
00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,637
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,273
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:12,877
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:16,247
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:19,317
♪ And you knew whereYou were then ♪
6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,161
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:33,164
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:36,567
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:41,039
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:46,011
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:56,888
Hi, Ma. I just love
rainy days, don't you?
13
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,858
Yeah. It was raining
on our honeymoon.
14
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,860
Oh, that's romantic--
15
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,529
you and Daddy
in your cozy hotel room
16
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:06,464
in Atlantic City
in the rain.
17
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,800
Oh, it wasn't
so romantic.
18
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,301
Archie was so mad.
19
00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:11,302
He kept saying,
20
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,604
"Here we are,
stuck in this hotel room
21
00:01:13,606 --> 00:01:15,506
for the whole honeymoon."
22
00:01:15,508 --> 00:01:18,743
[LAUGHS]
Oh, Ma... no.
23
00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,546
Hey, did I tell you
that riddle Tammy told me
24
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:23,614
about the surgeon
who couldn't operate?
25
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:24,615
No. You didn't.
26
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:25,616
[BELL RINGING]
27
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,552
Oh, excuse me, Gloria.
28
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:28,953
The sweet rolls are ready,
29
00:01:28,955 --> 00:01:31,622
and Archie hates it
when the sugar drips.
30
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:33,692
Gloria...
31
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,160
Good morning, Michael, dear.
32
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,527
Never mind
the "good morning."
33
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,797
Look at this.
See that?
34
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,598
I'm sick and tired
of putting on this shirt
35
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,200
every time
you wash it, Gloria,
36
00:01:42,202 --> 00:01:43,668
and finding there's
no button there.
37
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,804
Look at that.
All right, Michael.
38
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,039
Gloria, didn't I tell you
to fix it? Didn't I?
39
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,640
All right, Michael.
I'm busy now.
40
00:01:49,642 --> 00:01:51,076
I'll do it later.
41
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:53,178
Gloria, this has been
going on for three weeks!
42
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,045
Sew it on now!
43
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:56,581
Sew it on yourself!
44
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:57,982
What?
45
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:01,186
Where's it
written down
46
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:03,487
that a woman has to do
all the sewing?
47
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,389
Gloria, you're my wife!
48
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,991
What's that got
to do with it?
49
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,426
You sew it on!
50
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:09,427
Well, I can't.
51
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:10,294
Why not?
52
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:13,598
You got the sewing kit!
53
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,667
Well, I'll go get it
for you right now.
54
00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,103
No. No. No.
Wait a second.
55
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,805
Gloria, I mean, uh,
you do it better than me.
56
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,240
You always do it.
57
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,243
That's because I want to,
not because you order me to.
58
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,211
Okay, forget it!
59
00:02:27,579 --> 00:02:30,448
Ma, could you sew
a button on for me?
60
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,449
Sure, Mike.
61
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:32,751
No, you don't, Ma.
62
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,585
He's gonna
do it himself.
63
00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:38,089
Oh, I didn't know
you liked sewing, Mike.
64
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,758
I don't!
I hate it!
65
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,525
Forget it!
I'll do it!
66
00:02:41,527 --> 00:02:42,660
I'll do it!
67
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:43,661
Whatever you're gonna do,
Meathead,
68
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:44,963
do it in quiet, huh.
69
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,365
Okay!
70
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,000
What's the matter with him?
71
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,735
Can't a person
get a cheerful "good morning"
72
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,170
around here no more?
73
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,872
[CHEERFULLY]
Good morning!
74
00:03:01,046 --> 00:03:02,247
Not from you, Edith.
75
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:05,250
We already seen
each other upstairs.
76
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:08,452
Yeah, but that was
lying down.
77
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,824
Remember, Archie?
78
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,260
We both woke up together,
79
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:16,995
and we looked at each other,
80
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,164
and I said,
"Good morning, Archie,"
81
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,765
and you rolled over.
82
00:03:25,938 --> 00:03:28,173
Edith, where's
my regular prune juice?
83
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,974
This ain't Sunsweet.
84
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,542
Oh, I'm sorry, Archie.
85
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:33,678
Ferguson's market
was sold out,
86
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,814
but Sybil Gooley
at the checkout stand
87
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,917
said this kind
tasted just the same.
88
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,218
Well, tell Sybil Gooley
89
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,854
I don't drink prune juice
for the taste.
90
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,928
I know.
91
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,095
And look at this here.
92
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:53,664
The eggs ain't runny enough,
Edith.
93
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:56,600
How am I going to dip my toast
into a hard yolk?
94
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,870
Complaints,
complaints...
95
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,005
First Michael,
now you, Daddy.
96
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,374
You men treat us
like unpaid servants.
97
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,243
That's what we are
to you-- servants.
98
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,878
"Cook this,
clean that, sew this."
99
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,446
Come on.
Will you let me eat?
100
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:13,151
EDITH:
Mike, what did you do to your finger?
101
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:16,254
Nothing, Ma.
102
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,521
Did you cut yourself,
Michael?
103
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,291
Yeah. I'm just acting silly
over that stupid button.
104
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:21,659
I'm sorry.
105
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,262
No. You were right.
I was wrong.
106
00:04:25,998 --> 00:04:27,098
Oh, Edith,
107
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,766
do they have to be
slobbering that way
108
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,633
on a Sunday morning here?
109
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:32,770
How did you
do it, Michael?
110
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,706
I stuck my finger
trying to sew the button on.
111
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,109
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
112
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,211
You, the husband,
were sewing something?
113
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,612
Yeah. What's wrong with that?
114
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,648
Well, if you don't know,
I ain't gonna tell you.
115
00:04:46,718 --> 00:04:49,320
Well, tell me, because
I don't know either.
116
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,621
He's the husband.
117
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,023
He ain't
supposed to be doing that.
118
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,157
That's the wife's job.
119
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,894
That is nothing
but a male chauvinist attitude!
120
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:58,029
Will you tell me something?
121
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,432
What is this "male chauvinist"
you keep throwing up at me?
122
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,834
It's not a "what," it's a who.
123
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,203
You see,
there was this Frenchman,
124
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,905
and his name was Chauvin,
125
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,873
and he was
the original chauvinist.
126
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:12,110
And he was a beautiful
piano player too.
127
00:05:16,648 --> 00:05:17,748
MICHAEL: What?
128
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,250
Yeah, Chauvin.
129
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:23,721
Cornel Wilde took his part
in the picture...
130
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:26,657
and he wrote
some lovely songs:
131
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,660
♪ I'm always
Chasing rain... ♪
132
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,397
All right! All right.
Put a lid on it, huh.
133
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,299
Ma, that's Chopin.
134
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,934
Chauvin was an officer
with Napoleon.
135
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,836
Well, what has
a dead frog soldier
136
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:39,971
got to do with me?
137
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,472
Everything.
138
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,008
You see,
Chauvin was a stupid nationalist
139
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,177
who believed
that everything French was best,
140
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,412
and that women were no good.
141
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:48,579
Well, who cares?
142
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:49,713
All I'm saying is
143
00:05:49,715 --> 00:05:51,615
no self-respecting
American husband
144
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:53,717
would do his own sewing.
145
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:56,720
Oh, what about
Dr. Nelson, the surgeon?
146
00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:59,657
He does a lot of sewing.
147
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:02,427
On people, Edith--
he sews on people.
148
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,895
Well, he must have
practiced on something
149
00:06:04,897 --> 00:06:06,264
before he started on people.
150
00:06:09,401 --> 00:06:11,035
That reminds me, Gloria--
151
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,504
you were gonna tell me
something about a surgeon
152
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:14,772
and you never finished.
153
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:15,974
Well, yeah.
That was the riddle
154
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,241
that Tammy Robinson
told me.
155
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:18,776
I bet you'll
never guess it.
156
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,978
Who's Tammy Robinson?
157
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,212
Oh, she's the girl
158
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,813
that's running
the female fair exhibition
159
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,082
down at the store.
160
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,283
She's coming
over here this morning
161
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,617
so we can work on it.
162
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,386
Oh, what's she coming
over here for?
163
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,589
Can't we have a Sunday
in this house with no visitors?
164
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,124
What a day this is gonna be.
165
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,925
And look at
that rain out there, Edith!
166
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:36,894
I'm sorry, Archie.
167
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:40,798
Daddy, you've got her
saying she's sorry
168
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,700
like it's her fault
it's raining.
169
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,435
Well, it ain't my fault.
170
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:48,606
Well, tell us
about the riddle.
171
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:52,477
Okay. Now, you see,
there's this father and his son,
172
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,512
and they're driving along
in a car,
173
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:57,648
and the car crashes,
and the father is killed.
174
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,417
Oh, that's so sad.
175
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,420
Oh, jeez,
it's only a story, Edith.
176
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,522
Anyway, the father is killed,
177
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,391
and the little boy
is badly injured,
178
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,858
so they rush him to a hospital,
179
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,660
take him into
the operating room.
180
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:13,297
The surgeon walks in and says,
"I can't operate on this boy.
181
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,832
He's my son."
182
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,667
How come?
183
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,902
Well, that's easy.
184
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,270
The surgeon was his father.
185
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,539
Well, he ain't supposed
to operate on his own family.
186
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,341
Daddy, I just said
the father was killed.
187
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:26,244
Oh, then it was
the stepfather was killed
188
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,545
and the surgeon's
the real father.
189
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,713
No.
190
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:31,249
I know!
191
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,318
The surgeon
was a Christian Scientist.
192
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,520
They never operate.
193
00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:45,829
How could the surgeon be
a Christian Scientist, Edith?
194
00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:48,499
Them dumbbells
don't even allow sickness.
195
00:07:50,969 --> 00:07:53,037
If the father was dead,
what's the difference
196
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,805
what kind of a religious nut
he was?
197
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,376
Hey... the father was a priest,
right?
198
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,677
Like a Catholic father.
199
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,246
No, it was a real father
and his real son.
200
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,115
Hmm...Let me get this straight:
201
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,417
A father and a son
were in a car crash.
202
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,518
The father is killed,
203
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,153
and the son
is rushed to the hospital.
204
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,654
They bring him to surgery.
205
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,957
Surgeon walks in, says,
"I can't operate on that boy.
206
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:13,958
He's my son."
207
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,426
That's right.
208
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,262
All right. Is it a case
of mistaken identity?
209
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,263
That's wrong.
210
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:20,898
Of course it's wrong.
211
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,666
Well, how can you
be so sure?
212
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,934
You don't know
the answer.
213
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,970
Well, I know that it
ain't the answer.
214
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,573
Well, maybe the answer
has something to do
215
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,976
with people that come back
from the hereafter,
216
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,145
like that milk company.
217
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:36,680
Oh, reincarnation?
218
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:37,548
Yeah!
219
00:08:44,889 --> 00:08:47,558
No. No, that's
not the answer, Ma.
220
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,792
You give up, Michael?
221
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,995
Yeah. Yeah.
Michael gives up.
222
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:51,996
What's the answer?
223
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,231
No. No.
I don't give up.
224
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,832
I bet I get it
before you do.
225
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,866
What are you
talking about?
226
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,867
A quarter you don't.
227
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,868
Yeah. You're on.
228
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,103
You want to make a bet?
229
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,271
Okay.
Sure.
230
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:02,140
Gloria, don't be
telling him the answer.
231
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,474
No cheating here.
232
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,708
Go on, Edith.
233
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,710
Get my coffee and bring it
over here, will you?
234
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:10,881
Tammy is so smart to think up
a hard riddle like that.
235
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:12,683
She didn't think it up.
236
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:13,951
How do you know she didn't?
237
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,354
Because riddles
ain't thought up.
238
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:20,258
They come out
of newspapers and magazines.
239
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,260
Well, Tammy could
have thought it up.
240
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,195
She's a very clever girl.
241
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,531
You know, the whole female fair
was all her idea.
242
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,899
"Female fair"? What's that?
243
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,302
Oh, it's Tammy's idea
for an exhibition
244
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,137
on the women's liberation
movement.
245
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,773
Ah, good night, nurse.
Another one of them.
246
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,575
You letting your wife get
mixed up in that?
247
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,609
Why not?
248
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,711
Why not--
because I got a feeling
249
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:45,316
that female fairs
is run by female fairies.
250
00:09:46,885 --> 00:09:48,819
That's a horrible
thing to say
251
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,254
about my friend Tammy.
252
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:54,792
I know a female fairy,
and she ain't horrible.
253
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,994
What female fairy
do you know?
254
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:59,297
Tinkerbell in Peter Pan.
255
00:10:01,132 --> 00:10:05,636
Yeah... I remember when
I was a freshman in high school,
256
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,706
the senior class
put on Peter Pan.
257
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:12,109
Oh, it was so beautiful,
I cried.
258
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:14,078
I'll never forget
how Peter Pan
259
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,447
talked to the audience.
260
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,116
Peter was played
by Spunky Finch,
261
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:22,386
and she had new braces
on her teeth,
262
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:26,657
and as soon as the spotlight hit
all that silver wire,
263
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,492
oh, it just
gave you goosebumps.
264
00:10:30,495 --> 00:10:36,467
Well, anyway, Peter said,
"Do you believe in fairies?
265
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,636
"Say it quick if you believe.
266
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,038
If you believe,
clap your hands!"
267
00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:47,378
And then everybody
clapped their hands,
268
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:51,582
and Peter said, "Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!"
269
00:10:53,318 --> 00:10:56,420
"And now to rescue Wendy!"
270
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:59,423
Oh, oh, oh! I just love theater.
271
00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,294
Is the curtain down?
272
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,062
Yeah.
273
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:06,364
Good, because
I got the answer
274
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,898
to that there riddle
over there.
275
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,434
The kid on the operating table
was his own double.
276
00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:14,972
What?
277
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,073
Double. Double.
278
00:11:16,075 --> 00:11:17,275
You know what a double is.
279
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,277
They got them
in all their stories there,
280
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:23,648
like in that picture,
The Prince and the Porpoise.
281
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,916
No, Daddy.
That's not the answer.
282
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,050
Wrong.
283
00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:29,086
Well, any jerk can sit there
saying, "Wrong."
284
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:30,688
I don't hear you
coming up with nothing!
285
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,890
Hey, we got a bet
that I come up with it
286
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:33,924
before you, that's all.
287
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,793
Aw.
I'd better clear the table.
288
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:36,894
Oh, I'll help you, Ma.
289
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:37,895
I'll help you too.
290
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:39,430
Wait a minute!
291
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,865
I don't want all of yous going
in the kitchen together there.
292
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,668
She'll be giving him the answer
behind my back.
293
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,469
Gloria, don't you say
nothing to him in there!
294
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,470
I won't say anything, Daddy.
295
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,471
You keep an eye
296
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,673
on them two out there, Edith!
297
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:49,973
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
298
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:52,543
I don't want no answers
being given to nobody
299
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,345
before they get them
the right way.
300
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:58,015
See, I don't want
no cheating here!
301
00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,317
Are you Tammy?
Yes.
302
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:03,387
Quick, what's the answer
to the surgeon's riddle?
303
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,456
Daddy!
Shh.
304
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,596
Admit it, you cheated.
What do you know about it?
305
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:12,997
You was out there
in the kitchen.
306
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,632
Gloria told me
you asked her the answer.
307
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,200
I'll put an end
to this thing.
308
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,102
Hey, Tammy, there,
did you tell me anything?
309
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,336
No, I didn't.
310
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:20,337
There.
But you asked her.
311
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:21,739
Case closed.
Come on.
312
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,307
Case closed.
313
00:12:23,309 --> 00:12:24,942
Uh, Gloria, I think
we should tell them.
314
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,143
Nobody ever
gets it anyway.
315
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,544
No, I'm not going
to tell them.
316
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,146
They're always saying
men are smarter than women,
317
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,048
so let them figure it out
for themselves.
318
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,084
Tammy, I made you some coffee.
319
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,551
Oh, thank you.
320
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:36,687
You know,
it's really not a riddle at all.
321
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,422
There's a very simple answer.
322
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,626
Well, maybe that's the trouble.
Maybe it's too simple.
323
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,895
I mean, you're looking at
an old riddle guy here.
324
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,064
But I'm used to handling
real toughies, you know?
325
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,532
Like what?
326
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:52,970
Toughies, like, for instance,
knock-knock, who's there?
327
00:12:56,407 --> 00:12:57,908
A bandleader's initials.
328
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,844
Oh, I know that game.
329
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,713
You think up the name
of a famous bandleader,
330
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,915
but you just give
the initials,
331
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,917
and then the others
have to guess who it is.
332
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:07,918
Yeah.
333
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:10,054
But you have
to have lived a lot
334
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,256
to play a game like that.
335
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,323
Oh, you said it.
336
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,591
Because all them
big band guys,
337
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,061
they was before your time,
all yous kids.
338
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:19,764
That sounds like fun.
May I try?
339
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,065
You want to try
it, Tammy?
340
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,432
Yeah. Yeah, all right.
341
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:24,035
Wait a minute,
and I'll give you one.
342
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,836
Let me think of
a good one for you.
343
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,838
Uh... P.W.
344
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:28,839
Paul Whiteman.
345
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,141
Hey! Look at Tammy!
346
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,341
She got it
right away here.
347
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:33,177
That's very good.
348
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,245
I would've said
Patty Waghorn.
349
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,685
Who the hell
is Patty Waghorn?
350
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:45,589
He led the harmonica hijinks
at our high-school hops.
351
00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,892
Oh, cut it out,
will you?
352
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,626
Oh, he was so good.
353
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:52,830
He could play "Over the Waves"
on his harmonica
354
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,766
without using his mouth,
just his nostrils.
355
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,534
Oh...
356
00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:02,039
I got
a bandleader's initials: T.D.
357
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,273
Tommy Dorsey.
Tommy Dorsey.
358
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,274
Right.
359
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:05,475
Hey, Tammy, you're good at this.
360
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:06,476
You're terrific.
361
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:08,579
What about me?
I got it too.
362
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:10,247
You're terrific too, Daddy.
363
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,883
Hey, hey.
Thought of a good one.
364
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:15,552
You two go over there.
Sit down.
365
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:20,657
Now... I got one
for all of yous: E.C.
366
00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:21,826
"E.C."
367
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:22,827
[ARCHIE CHUCKLES]
368
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:23,961
Eddie Condon.
369
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,229
Well, Eddie Condon's E.C.
370
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,831
but ain't the E.C.
I'm thinking about.
371
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:27,832
Eddie Cochran?
372
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,034
I never heard of him.
373
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,135
MICHAEL: So?
374
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,536
Well, if I never
heard of him
375
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,739
he ain't
the right E.C.
376
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,340
All right. We give
up. Who is it?
377
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,341
Yous all give up?
378
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,342
Yeah.
379
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:39,343
[CHUCKLING]
380
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:40,510
Xavier Cugat.
381
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,614
What?
382
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:44,749
What?
383
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,583
Xavier Cugat!
That's wonderful!
384
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:47,818
ARCHIE: That's pretty good,
huh, Tammy?
385
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:50,187
Archie, that's not
E.C. That's X.C.
386
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,388
Xavier begins with an X.
387
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:54,959
Get outta here.
388
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,694
Sure!
389
00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:02,299
No human being
begins his name with an "X".
390
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,169
I heard it a million times--
Xavier Cugat.
391
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:08,405
E-G-Z-avier Cugat. Look it up.
392
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,341
Come on, Tammy.
We'd better get to work.
393
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:12,342
Okay. Oh, Mr. Bunker,
394
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,744
may I have
one of your cigars?
395
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,213
You're gonna smoke a cigar?
396
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:17,815
Oh, no, no.
I'm not gonna smoke it.
397
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,850
I'd like to borrow it
for the display board.
398
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,618
Oh. All right.
Go ahead. There.
399
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,053
Oh, thank you.
400
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,256
It helps to point up some of
the more negative aspects
401
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,791
of the male stereotype.
402
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:29,226
I'm for that.
403
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:32,529
I love the smell
of a good cigar.
404
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:35,699
Nobody is listening
to you, Edith.
405
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:38,002
You know, Tammy,
what I got against
406
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:41,605
yous women
libertines there,
407
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,073
if you forgive my saying it,
408
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,474
is that yous don't want to do
409
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,944
the jobs you was meant to do,
which is housewives.
410
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,413
And mothballs.
411
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,248
What?
412
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,985
I love the smell of mothballs.
413
00:15:54,987 --> 00:15:58,889
I used to hide in closets
when I was a little girl
414
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,590
just to get a whiff of them.
415
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,528
Why don't you
go up to the closet
416
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:05,930
in the attic
and enjoy yourself?
417
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,301
If you don't
want to do that,
418
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,369
then do your job--
finish sewing.
419
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:13,503
Oh, Mr. Bunker,
420
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,372
why does our society
take it for granted
421
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,541
that women can do no other job?
422
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,009
Women can do anything.
423
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:21,011
Anything left over.
424
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,613
No, no, no, wait a second, Arch.
425
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:25,015
Women make some
of the finest leaders
426
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,016
in the world.
427
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:27,017
Oh, that's
the dumbest thing
428
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,085
you ever said.
Like who?
429
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:29,119
Well, like Golda Meir.
430
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,921
Bad example, Meathead.
431
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,323
Of course, them Hebes
has been ruled
432
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,691
by Jewish mothers
since time began.
433
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:40,231
Well, what about, uh...
Mrs. Gandhi?
434
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,800
I didn't know
Mrs. Gandhi was Jewish.
435
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,572
Archie, what about Mrs. Gandhi?
436
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:50,241
I mean, she's
the prime minister of India.
437
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,076
Who cares about India?
438
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,577
Any country
that would worship a cow
439
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:56,413
would put anybody in charge.
440
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:57,647
You see?
441
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,750
He's the result
of centuries of conditioning.
442
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,919
You gotta listen to
what Tammy found in the Bible.
443
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,787
The Bible!
Listen to this:
444
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:07,024
"For man is the image
and glory of God,
445
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,093
but the woman
is the glory of man."
446
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,695
St. Paul, First Corinthians,
11, verse seven.
447
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,796
That's terrible.
448
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,698
That's beautiful.
It's the Bible.
449
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,000
Wait a minute.
450
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,201
You've gotta hear
this one too.
451
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,802
You wanna hear
what the orthodox Jew says
452
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:20,437
every morning
in his prayers?
453
00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:21,972
I can live without it.
454
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:28,645
"Blessed art thou,
O Lord our God,
455
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,115
that I was not born a woman."
456
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,083
Well, like I always say,
457
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:35,052
there's some good
in all religions.
458
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:38,188
What about this from the Koran:
459
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,490
"Men are superior to women
460
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:43,093
because God has given them
pre-eminence."
461
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,428
That's really awful.
462
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,930
When I hear
things like that,
463
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:48,098
I thank God
I'm an atheist.
464
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,409
Listen, Tammy, there,
465
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,045
I hope,
on top of everything else,
466
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,612
you ain't one of them
unbelievers,
467
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:04,014
like that Meathead over here.
468
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,116
Oh, no,
I go to church, Mr. Bunker,
469
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,319
but I don't have to agree
with everything in The Bible.
470
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,354
I don't think
that men have the right
471
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,056
to control women's lives.
472
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,824
Yeah, like abortion laws.
473
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,725
Abortion! On Sunday!
474
00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,694
Hey, Arch, she's right.
475
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,496
I mean, why should a man
have the right
476
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,698
to tell a woman what she
can do with her body?
477
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,434
Get off the woman's body
on a Sunday!
478
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,704
Talking about things
like that in this house--
479
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,473
abortions and all of that.
480
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,275
Even the president
of the U.S. of A.
481
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,077
Took time out to say that
that was wrong.
482
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,779
Nixon would soon change his mind
if he got pregnant.
483
00:18:38,316 --> 00:18:39,716
I ain't gonna stay here
and listen
484
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:41,518
to no more of this here garbage.
485
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,320
I'm gonna go
and wash the taste of it
486
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,321
right out of my mouth.
487
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,389
Where are you going, Archie?
488
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,491
Down to Kelsey's Bar, Edith,
489
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:50,660
where people still have a little
respect for the Sabbath.
490
00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:56,266
And then this guy
puts a gun to his head,
491
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,434
and says to his wife,
492
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,169
"Don't laugh, baby,
you're next."
493
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:00,237
[ALL LAUGH]
494
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:02,072
Hey, that's
the funniest one...
495
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,474
Hey, Tommy,
give me a beer, huh?
496
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,042
Hey, Arch. Archie.
497
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,276
Hey, how are you?
498
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:07,878
Hey, do you know
any Polish jokes?
499
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,013
Are you kidding?
500
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,780
I got one
living in the house with me.
501
00:19:15,253 --> 00:19:16,253
Tell you what, though...
502
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,254
What?
503
00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:19,256
I got a great riddle for you.
504
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:20,557
Anybody here good at riddles?
505
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:22,759
A riddle? Ol' Barney here
is an expert on them things.
506
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:24,361
Well, to be honest
with you, Arch,
507
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,397
the riddle ain't been born
that I can't figure out.
508
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,597
That's right.
509
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,133
Well, that's good,
because here it is,
510
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,634
and it's a toughie.
511
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,570
Now, father and son go out
for a drive in the car.
512
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,671
All right, there's a crash.
513
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:35,672
Yeah.
514
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,341
The father's killed.
515
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,942
Now, they rush
the kid to the hospital
516
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:41,045
for emergency operation.
517
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,513
The surgeon comes in,
518
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,114
takes one look at the kid
and says,
519
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:50,754
"Hold it, hold it.
I cannot operate on my own son."
520
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,689
Now explain that.
521
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,859
Boy, that kid was lucky.
522
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,128
Did I ever tell you about
the nut that operated on me?
523
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,365
He left three sponges
524
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,833
inside of me-- three.
525
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:05,035
Even without the gallstones,
526
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,703
I was heavier
leaving the hospital
527
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,138
than when I went in.
528
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:12,409
Get back to the riddle, huh?
529
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,478
Why couldn't the surgeon
operate on the kid?
530
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,346
A pushover.
531
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,582
Because the son
was a son-in-law.
532
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:19,583
[CHUCKLES]
533
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,185
Aw, that ain't it. No.
534
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:23,253
No?
535
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,788
No.
536
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,458
Well, uh.
Oh, then it was his adopted son.
537
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,093
Yeah.
No.
538
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,695
Ahh.
539
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,098
Ah-hah! I got it. I got it.
540
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,032
Like in them weirdo movies,
541
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:39,869
the dead guy transports himself
out of his own corpse.
542
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:41,771
Hey, Barney,
you're slipping.
543
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,307
Wait, wait, wait.
544
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,976
Ah! I got it!
This time, I got it.
545
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:47,344
The kid was illegitimate.
546
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:48,412
No, no, no.
547
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:49,613
Is there
a trick to it?
548
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,781
There ain't no trick to this.
549
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,683
Well, then, I give up.
550
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:54,684
I don't know.
551
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:57,354
Well, what do you mean, Barney?
552
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,022
You can't figure it out?
553
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,358
Well, there's gotta be
a first time, Arch.
554
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,393
This is a tough one.
What's the answer?
555
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,929
Well, jeez, Barney, I thought
you was going to tell me.
556
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,366
You mean you don't know
the answer?
557
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:11,735
Yeah, I know the answer.
558
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:13,437
Well, then
what's the answer?
559
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:14,438
The answer...
560
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,639
Well, give us
the answer then.
561
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,841
You knocked the answer
right out of my head.
562
00:21:17,843 --> 00:21:19,743
Hey, how do you like
a bum like that?
563
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,646
[BOTH SHOUTING]
564
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:23,647
I'll tell you one thing.
565
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,048
What?
566
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,251
Maybe I forgot the answer here,
but when I re-remember it--
567
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:28,252
and I will--
568
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:29,653
I ain't gonna tell none of yous.
569
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:30,654
Hey, hey!
570
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:31,688
[SPUTTERS]
571
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,957
Give us the answer to that one.
572
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,959
You know what
we should do, Gloria?
573
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,561
We should hit some of
those TV commercials
574
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:38,562
as well.
575
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:39,563
Good idea.
576
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:40,964
You know that one
where that jerk
577
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:43,433
is always criticizing
his wife's coffee?
578
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:45,035
Just once,
I'd like to see her pour
579
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,236
the whole pot
over his head.
580
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:47,103
Right.
581
00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:50,340
Oh, hey, Tammy.
582
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:51,908
I'm glad you're still here.
583
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:53,910
I want to talk to you
before you get away.
584
00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:54,911
What's the answer
585
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,380
to that there
surgeon riddle?
586
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:57,481
Should we tell
him, Gloria?
587
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,115
Oh, no, no, wait a second.
588
00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:00,717
Hey, we still got
that bet, right?
589
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,119
I got a bigger
and a more important bet
590
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,121
with some real men
down in Kelsey's Bar.
591
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,057
Tammy, Gloria!
592
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,858
Archie, I'm glad you're back.
593
00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:11,228
I think I have the answer
to the riddle!
594
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:12,796
Really?
Yeah.
595
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:17,401
The surgeon couldn't operate
on his own son, right?
596
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:18,768
Right.
Yeah.
597
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:23,607
But not because the surgeon
was the boy's father...
598
00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:27,077
The surgeon
was the boy's mother!
599
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:28,712
You're right!
600
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:31,515
Oh, good for you,
Mrs. Bunker!
601
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,217
Why didn't I
think of that?!
602
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:36,019
That's wrong!
What's the real answer?
603
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,255
That's it.
Mrs. Bunker is right.
604
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:40,557
Gee, you know,
that never entered my head,
605
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:41,958
that a woman could be a surgeon.
606
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,860
Look at the way
I've been trained to think.
607
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:44,994
Like a chauvinist.
Right.
608
00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:46,597
Well, if that's the answer,
609
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,064
that's the dumbest riddle
I ever heard.
610
00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:51,568
I'll tell you what's
dumb, Mr. Bunker--
611
00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:53,237
that we have all been
conditioned to believe
612
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:54,871
that only men
can be surgeons.
613
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,673
Aw, what are you
talking about?
614
00:22:56,675 --> 00:22:58,475
With all the millions
of doctors in the world,
615
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,277
who the hell
ever heard of a woman surgeon?
616
00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:02,979
Daddy, there are thousands
of women surgeons in the world.
617
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,981
Oh, well, not around here.
618
00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:06,516
Maybe in
your oriental countries,
619
00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:10,354
where they got that there
chinky-puncture or something.
620
00:23:13,658 --> 00:23:16,025
Ma, you were very smart
to have thought of that.
621
00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:18,695
Oh, thank you, Mike.
622
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:20,830
But I'm sorry I thought of it
623
00:23:20,832 --> 00:23:22,466
before you did, Archie.
624
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,834
Aw, who cares, Edith?
It was a dumb riddle.
625
00:23:24,836 --> 00:23:26,236
It was made up by a woman,
626
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,273
it's got a make-believe
woman doctor in it there,
627
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:30,874
and I ain't surprised
that you got it,
628
00:23:30,876 --> 00:23:32,909
because it's a woman's riddle.
629
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:34,745
I don't want to hear
no more about it.
630
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,946
And give me
back my cigar.
631
00:23:46,424 --> 00:23:48,592
Oh, my, that was
a clever riddle
632
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,260
Tammy gave us.
633
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,862
Clever riddle...
634
00:23:52,864 --> 00:23:54,931
I got a clever
riddle for yous.
635
00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,700
Oh, good!
636
00:23:58,035 --> 00:24:00,537
How long
does it take one dingbat
637
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,806
to go 20 feet for one beer?
638
00:24:11,716 --> 00:24:14,918
How long does it take...
639
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,019
Oh, never mind!
640
00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:17,487
Just go out
to the kitchen
641
00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,122
and bring me back
a can of beer.
642
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,191
Oh. Right away, Archie.
643
00:24:21,193 --> 00:24:23,327
How long
does it take one dingbat...
644
00:24:36,474 --> 00:24:39,343
[♪]
645
00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:41,378
ANNOUNCER: All In The Familywas recorded on tape
646
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,279
before a live audience.
647
00:24:43,329 --> 00:24:47,879
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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