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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,407
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,777
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:16,314
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:19,283
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,161
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
9
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,434
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,436 --> 00:00:40,505
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:45,877
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:55,219
All right, all right,
come on.
13
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,221
Off your butt
and on your feet, here.
14
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,489
We've got
company coming.
15
00:00:58,491 --> 00:00:59,924
I want this whole
area, please.
16
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:01,126
Come on.
Move it, move it.
17
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:03,394
Boy, one sergeant's wife
comes to visit,
18
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,929
this places turns
into an Army barracks.
19
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:07,298
Not Army, Meathead--
Air Force.
20
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,432
Remember that.
21
00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:10,835
The 15th Air Force
flying out of Foggia, Italy--
22
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,237
the ones that won the war.
The ones that won the war.
23
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,605
Yes.
24
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:18,143
Now, let's see what this detail
is doing in here.
25
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,144
What are you
doing, Edith?
26
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,579
Ain't the meat
dead yet?
27
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,682
Oh, no, Archie.
It's chuck.
28
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,183
I'm tenderizing it.
29
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,184
Oh.
30
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:27,385
Well, that's
all right, then.
31
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,386
You keep stabbing
it, Edith,
32
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:29,587
because Duke Loomis' wife
33
00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,289
ain't no spring
chicken, you know.
34
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,925
She's probably got
store teeth by now.
35
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,860
Daddy, I've never seen you
this anxious.
36
00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:38,462
Why are you making such a fuss
over Mrs. Loomis?
37
00:01:38,464 --> 00:01:40,031
Oh, I don't care
nothing about her.
38
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,833
I'm doing this for
the Duke, my best buddy,
39
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,034
the guy that
saved my life.
40
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,769
That's right, Gloria.
41
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,971
Sergeant Loomis
threw himself
42
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:49,674
on a live I-talian
for Archie.
43
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:58,016
Edith...
44
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:01,319
it's an I-talian
grenade, Edith.
45
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,454
A grenade... that
some joker threw
46
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,757
into the barracks,
there, see?
47
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,592
And you can keep this
in mind, little girl,
48
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,793
if it wasn't for the Duke,
49
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,795
you probably wouldn't
be here today.
50
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,463
Neither would I.
51
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,335
Why not?
52
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:20,772
I'd be living someplace else...
53
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,941
Aw, come on.
54
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,176
And Gloria would look different.
55
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,347
Come on, come on,
come on.
56
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,681
Listen, what are yous
fooling around?
57
00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:33,051
You got to set
the table in there,
58
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:35,053
because I want the front room
to be looking nice
59
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,054
when she gets here,
60
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,388
so come on. Set the table.
61
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:38,823
Move it, move it, move it, huh?
62
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,991
What about you,
Meathead?
63
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,392
Didn't I give you
a direct order?
64
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:42,627
Arch, what's the rush?
65
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:44,629
She's not gonna be here
for at least an hour.
66
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,965
I want all departments
in motion around here!
67
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:47,966
Come on.
68
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,567
I want the Duke's wife
to give him
69
00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,770
a good report on me.
70
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,138
Daddy, what I
don't understand
71
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,339
is how can the Duke
still be alive
72
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,742
if he threw himself
on a grenade?
73
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,511
Because it was
an I-talian grenade...
74
00:03:03,048 --> 00:03:04,382
and it was a dud
75
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:09,020
like everything else
them pastafazoos made,
76
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,688
but that ain't the point.
77
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,690
The point is that she's
coming here for one night.
78
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,058
We got to make her welcome.
79
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,060
She's going to join the Duke
over there in Germany.
80
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:18,263
Come on, we all got to make
some sacrifices over here.
81
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,131
Listen, I'm giving up
part of my bed upstairs,
82
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,365
right, Edith?
83
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,600
That's right.
84
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:25,436
Your father's
going to sleep on the sofa.
85
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,704
Just think, Archie,
86
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:30,108
this will be the first time
in 24 years
87
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,143
we ain't slept together.
88
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:35,413
Well, that's the sacrifice
you gotta make, Edith.
89
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:42,120
Look, Archie, I found
your old photo album
90
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:43,421
from the war.
91
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,756
I thought maybe you'd like
to show Mrs. Loomis
92
00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:47,959
some of your
old Army pictures.
93
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,060
Oh, that's great.
94
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,295
That's good thinking there,
Edith.
95
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,730
Now maybe I won't have
to talk to her too much
96
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,065
because she's about
as interesting
97
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,599
as a doorknob, you know.
98
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:58,536
Is there a picture
of Mrs. Loomis in there?
99
00:03:58,538 --> 00:03:59,704
Nah, nah, nah.
100
00:03:59,706 --> 00:04:00,705
She was the type
101
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,106
that always used
to run and hide
102
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,507
when anybody come out
with a camera.
103
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:04,575
Why?
104
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,945
Oh, well, Edith,
you'd do the same thing
105
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,448
if you was 195 pounds
at four-foot-seven.
106
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,449
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
107
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:12,450
Oh, now, listen, Edith,
108
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,651
whoever that is
at the door,
109
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,586
please don't waste
no time, huh?
110
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,988
Just hello, goodbye.
Nothing else in between.
111
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,290
Yeah. Right, Archie.
112
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,291
Hi!
113
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:23,361
Hi. Can I help you,
Miss?
114
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:26,130
Missus. Bobbi Jo Loomis,
Duke's wife.
115
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:29,033
Oh, well, come in.
116
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,601
Archie, it's Mrs. Loomis.
117
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,637
She's lost weight
and grown taller.
118
00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:40,345
Wait a minute, Edith.
119
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,846
There's something
ain't kosher here.
120
00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:42,847
Look out, look out.
121
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,048
Uh, did you say...?
122
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:47,385
I know you, PFC
Archie Bunker.
123
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,553
I got a message
for you from Duke.
124
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:56,494
What's the message?
125
00:05:00,199 --> 00:05:02,666
Now, wait a minute,
I don't think I get this...
126
00:05:02,668 --> 00:05:05,169
Oh, I'm Bobbi Jo,
Duke's wife.
127
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:08,839
Well, come in, Mrs. Loomis,
and sit down.
128
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,241
Yeah, wait a minute.
Now, you know,
129
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,842
I knew Duke's wife
awful well...
130
00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:12,843
No, no, no.
131
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,812
I know what's confusing you.
132
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,981
You were expecting
the first Mrs. Loomis.
133
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,482
I'm the second.
134
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,084
The first is deceased.
135
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,652
Oh.
136
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:25,056
Wait happened to her?
137
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,724
She died.
138
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:31,229
Oh.
Oh.
139
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,031
Oh, I guess Duke
should have warned you.
140
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,899
I hope you're not
too disappointed.
141
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,968
Oh, no.
We're very happy to see you.
142
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,602
Uh, I'm their daughter, Gloria,
143
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,038
and this is my husband,
Michael Stivic.
144
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,505
Hi.
Hi.
145
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,441
So, uh, you're the Duke's
second wife, huh?
146
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:44,575
What do you know?
147
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,978
You know, I was going to
ask you for your ID Card
148
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,046
over here at the door.
149
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,448
[LAUGHS]
I wouldn't need ID.
150
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:52,650
All I'd have to do
is remind you of those stories
151
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,252
about you and Duke,
152
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,887
like the time you two were
at Madam Talini's place.
153
00:05:56,889 --> 00:06:00,491
Madam Ta-who?
154
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:02,827
In Rome, in 1945,
155
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:05,229
in that big house
near the train station.
156
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:06,664
Uh, hey! Uh...
157
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:10,034
Where'd you leave
your bags?
158
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,436
The driver left it
on the porch.
159
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:12,470
Oh, Meathead,
160
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:13,938
don't be standing
there doing nothing.
161
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,606
Get the suitcase
on the porch.
162
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:16,874
Bring it in here.
163
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,742
Who's Madam Talini?
164
00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:23,414
A nurse, Edith.
165
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,316
An Air Corps nurse
over there.
166
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,784
In fact, she was
the head nurse,
167
00:06:26,786 --> 00:06:29,020
which is why they
called her "madam."
168
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,589
Oh.
169
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,157
Excuse me.
170
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:35,893
Gloria and me better get
the dinner ready,
171
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,095
and meantime,
172
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,763
you could help
entertain Mrs. Loomis, Archie.
173
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:41,899
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
I can handle that.
174
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,267
Ha, ha, ha.
175
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,004
Hey, let me take your coat
there, Mrs. Loomis.
176
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,571
There. It'll make you
feel comfortable.
177
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,207
Jeez, was I surprised...
178
00:07:07,659 --> 00:07:09,260
What are you looking at?
179
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,195
Nothing.
180
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,598
Take the suitcase
upstairs, huh?
181
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,267
Sure, Arch.
182
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:20,538
Well, why don't we make
ourselves comfortable,
183
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:21,805
Mrs. Loomis?
184
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,807
Why don't you park yourself
on the sofa over there?
185
00:07:23,809 --> 00:07:24,808
Well, thank you
so much.
186
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:27,678
And, uh, I'll
just hang up your coat
187
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,080
over here on a hook.
188
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,214
[CHUCKLING]
189
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,215
Jeez, we wasn't expecting you
190
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:32,616
for about an hour, here,
you know.
191
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,919
Oh, well, I took
an earlier bus.
192
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,155
Oh, you took
an earlier bus.
193
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,123
Yeah, oh,
and listen, listen.
194
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:44,062
Edith dug out this old
photo album of pictures
195
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,863
of the Duke and me,
Mrs. Loomis.
196
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,199
Oh, why don't you
call me Bobbi Jo?
197
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:49,467
Bobbi Jo?
198
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,602
Yeah, all right,
I'll call you that.
199
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:53,871
That's a boy's name,
though, huh?
200
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:57,741
You don't look like
no boy, though.
201
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,843
Aren't you sweet.
202
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:01,745
Well, now, Archie,
I am just dying to hear
203
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:04,615
everything you got
to tell me about Duke.
204
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,518
You know, we barely
said "I do" when wham!
205
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,455
The Air Force shipped him
off to West Germany
206
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,322
just like that.
207
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:16,827
The Air Force ain't got
no human feeling at all, huh?
208
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,896
Well, now, why don't we
look at the pictures?
209
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:19,763
Yeah.
210
00:08:20,899 --> 00:08:22,833
Oh, look at Duke,
211
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,203
and look at that
head of hair.
212
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,604
Oh, Archie, where was
this picture taken?
213
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,307
Oh, that's taken
over there in Rome.
214
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,309
That's me and Duke eating
at one of them restaurants
215
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,811
that must have run out
of roof, you know,
216
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,779
because we're eating outside.
217
00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:38,583
Oh, oh, now, Archie.
218
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:41,752
Well, now, here's you,
but I can't find Duke.
219
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:42,920
Now, which one is he?
220
00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:51,695
Archie?
221
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:55,966
Huh?
222
00:08:55,968 --> 00:09:00,471
You're not gonna
find him looking there.
223
00:09:02,541 --> 00:09:03,541
Oh, no.
224
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,476
I'm looking at the...
225
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:06,477
There, there,
there he is!
226
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,745
He was there
all the time.
227
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,515
Oh, but you weren't.
228
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,984
Oh, you can't
blame me, huh?
229
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:24,795
How long are you
standing there?
230
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:26,430
I just got here.
231
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:30,201
Don't you never knock
when you come into a room?
232
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:34,405
What you want me to do,
knock on the banister?
233
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,074
Get lost, huh?
234
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,108
EDITH:
Archie?
235
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,010
Yeah!
236
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,379
Dinner's ready.
237
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,181
Oh, dinner's ready, huh? Yeah.
238
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,583
Uh, Bobbi Jo,
dinner's ready.
239
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,385
We all go to the table
when dinner's ready.
240
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,686
Oh, well, isn't
that sweet?
241
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:49,953
EDITH:
Everybody sit down.
242
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,055
Oh, well, now,
Edith, Edith,
243
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,856
you just got to let
me help you serve.
244
00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:54,358
You know,
I'm a terrific waitress.
245
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,660
Oh, thank you.
246
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,828
No, no.
None of that.
247
00:09:57,830 --> 00:10:00,264
The guests don't serve
in this here house.
248
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,400
Sit right down here,
senior-ora.
249
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:05,436
We'll take care of
everything, huh?
250
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:09,273
Right next to the old
patroney of the house, huh?
251
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,140
That's sweet.
252
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:12,276
What? What?
253
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,580
What?
254
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:18,048
Converse nice about
something here.
255
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,049
Uh...
256
00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:20,918
Oh, Bobbi Jo,
257
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,587
did you say something
about being a waitress?
258
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,588
Well, yes.
259
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,623
That's how I met Duke.
260
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,391
I was working
at the Burgerama.
261
00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:30,160
That's a drive-in on Route 27
outside of Tallahassee.
262
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,296
You know it?
263
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,098
Uh, no.
264
00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,099
Oh.
265
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,868
Well, the minute Duke drove up,
266
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,903
and I saw that cute little
bald-headed sergeant
267
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:45,409
in that cute little sports car,
a yellow MG,
268
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:49,347
I said to myself, "Bobbi Jo, you
got to have that man."
269
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:53,217
Well, what did the Duke say
when he first set eyes on you?
270
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,486
Well, I was standing there
in my little cowgirl outfit--
271
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,122
you know, that's what all us
girls wore at the Burgerama--
272
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,558
and Duke drove up
and he honked his horn,
273
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,893
and I went strutting
on over with my menu
274
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,094
you know, the way we do,
275
00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:05,829
and I had on
my little cowgirl hat
276
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:09,300
and my white blouse
and my little vest with tassels
277
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,969
and itty-bity
red hot pants,
278
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,771
high white boots
up to here,
279
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,473
and he took one
look and said,
280
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:18,075
"I'll have a bowl
of thighs."
281
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,210
Whoa!
282
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,312
[LAUGHING]
283
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:26,617
Well, he meant chicken thighs,
of course.
284
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:28,519
Here we are.
285
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,355
I hope everybody
likes it rare.
286
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,990
Hey, Edith, you should
have heard about
287
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,392
the whirlwind courtship
288
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,193
between Bobbi Jo
and the Duke, here.
289
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,730
Oh, I just love
true love stories.
290
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,699
How did he propose to you?
291
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,067
Well, it was early one morning,
292
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:47,705
and he just woke me up and said,
"Honey, let's get married."
293
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:59,417
Well, uh, you know,
294
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,819
that's a kind of a
risqué story for us here
295
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,921
because, you know, we're
kind of old-fashioned.
296
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,790
Oh, what did I say?
297
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:08,258
I was asleep,
and the phone rang
298
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:10,093
and it was Duke.
299
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,963
Oh, oh, oh!
300
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:16,467
Gee, well, what the hell.
That's legit.
301
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,372
See there, Edith?
Nothing wrong with that.
302
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,707
Huh?
303
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,778
Go on out and get
the rolls, huh?
304
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,046
Vegetables.
Hot stuff.
305
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,848
Oh, now, Gloria, let me
help you with that.
306
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,316
No, no, no!
307
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,151
You can't serve
nothing around here.
308
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:37,321
You're the guest here.
Give me that. I'll serve that.
309
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,824
What are you looking at?
Get the salad, huh?
310
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,092
Here we, oh...
look at this here, carrots.
311
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,494
They say they're
awful good for you.
312
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,062
Yeah, good for the eyes, Arch.
313
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,702
[MOUTHS WORDS]
314
00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:56,273
Hurry up with
the salad, huh?
315
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,274
Come on, Edith.
316
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,076
I'm waiting to
serve the rolls.
317
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:02,913
Archie, you ain't never
helped serve dinner before.
318
00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:04,915
Well, Bobbi Jo Loomis ain't
never been here before, Edith.
319
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,717
Hey, hey, what do you
think of her, huh?
320
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,719
Cute the way she talks
with the southern accent there.
321
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:13,657
Yeah, and she's
so cheerful and lively.
322
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:15,993
Duke was lucky
to have found her.
323
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,397
Oh, Edith, I hope he was lucky.
324
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:20,765
What do you mean?
325
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,000
Oh, Edith, you can tell
by looking at her there--
326
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,802
fast and loose.
327
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:28,305
Oh, Archie.
328
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,073
But I don't blame her
for nothing.
329
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,542
I mean, that's the way it is.
330
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,878
Nature, you know--
good-looking dame
331
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,979
with a shape there
and everything.
332
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,281
Men are always
turning after her,
333
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,916
give her the double-O, you know.
334
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,585
Now, listen, dames like that
put thoughts in guys' heads.
335
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,587
Why kind of thoughts?
336
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:49,326
Well, I don't know, Edith.
337
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:52,229
I don't have no thoughts
like that.
338
00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:02,439
Here are the last two cups,
Gloria.
339
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:03,440
Oh, thank you.
340
00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:04,642
Michael, if you
don't speed up,
341
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,909
we'll never
get to the movies.
342
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:07,911
Bobbi Jo, what are you doing
out in the kitchen?
343
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,113
We got a lot
more pictures
344
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,114
to look at here.
345
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,949
We got a lot
of ground to cover.
346
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:15,152
Daddy sure is
acting different.
347
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,020
I wonder what it is.
348
00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:20,323
I think it's his eyes.
349
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:22,760
His eyes?
350
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,561
Oh, Gloria, haven't
you noticed
351
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,697
the way he's been
looking at Bobbi Jo?
352
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,298
Michael,
that's my father.
353
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,333
Those things aren't
on his mind.
354
00:14:30,335 --> 00:14:33,170
Well, Gloria, something is.
355
00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,472
You got to admit Bobbi Jo is...
356
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:36,874
uh, pretty well endowed.
357
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:40,510
Sounds like your eyes
have been working overtime too.
358
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:44,481
Not overtime,
just a regular working day.
359
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:51,388
Eight hours of looking,
and then I punch out.
360
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:55,125
You're as big a letch
as you say my father is.
361
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:59,997
Gloria, a little innocent lust
never hurt anybody.
362
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,399
You just have to know how
to deal with it, that's all.
363
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,601
See, your father, he doesn't
know how to deal with it.
364
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:07,004
How do you deal with your lust?
365
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,605
Well...
366
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:10,607
Go ahead, Michael,
you can tell me.
367
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,143
How do you deal
with your lust?
368
00:15:18,649 --> 00:15:21,752
That's funny.
That's how I deal with mine.
369
00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:25,355
And that's
the Duke and me.
370
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:26,957
We're fooling around
with a couple of girls
371
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,692
in the street
in Naples, there.
372
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:32,730
I tell you, looking at them
old pictures there, you know,
373
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,699
it makes me feel
that, well...
374
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,634
like I was
30 years younger.
375
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:40,537
Archie?
What?
376
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,272
I'm gonna make up the sofa now.
377
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:43,741
It's getting late,
378
00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:45,342
and you got to go
to work tomorrow.
379
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,077
Oh, Edith, Edith, huh?
It's only 10:00.
380
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,079
Who the hell ever
goes to bed at 10:00?
381
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:51,949
You do, Archie.
382
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,717
I'm putting you out
of your bedroom.
383
00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,052
Now, I'll sleep
on the couch.
384
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:57,054
Oh, no. He'll be
very comfortable.
385
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,356
I even brought down
his special pillow.
386
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:01,058
Oh, ixnay on the...
387
00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:03,894
Archie can't sleep
without it.
388
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:06,396
Oh, you got one of those too.
389
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,932
Oh, he's got lots
of those things.
390
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,667
He can't even eat
his cereal
391
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,737
without his Chicago
World's Fair spoon.
392
00:16:24,249 --> 00:16:26,316
Never mind the pillow,
huh, Edith?
393
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,751
Come here, come here.
394
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:29,719
Go upstairs and get me
a regular pillow, huh?
395
00:16:29,721 --> 00:16:30,720
All right.
396
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:32,122
That's all I need
to sleep on
397
00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:34,158
is a regular pillow, Edith.
398
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,059
Oh.
Oh, jeez.
399
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:37,294
Excuse me, there,
Bobbi Jo.
400
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,529
Hey, come on, it's
the shank of the evening.
401
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:40,931
Sit down and
we'll look at the...
402
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,266
Oh, no, no, no.
403
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:43,867
See, I really have
to get to sleep.
404
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:46,270
My flight for Germany
is at 8:00 a.m.
405
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,538
But you know, you have
been just so sweet.
406
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,207
I mean, really, so kind,
407
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,741
and I'm surely
going to tell Duke
408
00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:53,576
just how wonderful
you've been to me.
409
00:16:53,578 --> 00:16:55,779
Oh, hey, likewise, I'm sure.
410
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:58,581
Well, but for now,
I'm just going to say
411
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:02,585
good night, sleep tight,
and don't let the bed bugs bite.
412
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:06,290
Good night, Mike.
Good night, Gloria.
413
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,292
BOTH:
Good night.
414
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,337
What are yous two doing here?
415
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,772
We live here.
416
00:17:26,410 --> 00:17:28,212
You doing a little spying
here too, ain't you?
417
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,379
What are you
talking about?
418
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,381
Get in the kitchen.
I want to talk to you.
419
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:32,382
What's the matter
with you?
420
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:33,616
Are you going nuts
or something?
421
00:17:33,618 --> 00:17:35,618
Get in the kitchen.
I want to talk to you.
422
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:38,588
What yous two seen out
there, you didn't see it!
423
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,957
What's going on,
Daddy?
424
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,893
I don't want neither one of yous
to get the wrong idea,
425
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,361
see, especially you, the husband
426
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:45,963
because monkey sees,
monkey does!
427
00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:50,400
And I don't go around kissing
no women, see,
428
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,602
and I didn't kiss that woman
out there. She kissed me.
429
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:53,703
Now, remember that,
then forget it.
430
00:17:56,841 --> 00:17:58,242
Archie, what are you
so uptight about?
431
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,276
Just because you're
feeling guilty
432
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,610
about being attracted
to Bobbi Jo?
433
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:01,611
What do you mean,
"guilty"?
434
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:02,612
I ain't guilty
about nothing!
435
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,148
Why should I
be guilty?
436
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,450
If anyone's guilty, well,
she's guilty out there.
437
00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:09,519
I didn't kiss Bobbi Jo.
Bobbi Jo kissed me.
438
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:10,921
She's the one
that made the pass.
439
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,155
Daddy.
440
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:13,357
She made a
pass at you?
441
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,392
No, she didn't.
Well, all right, yeah.
442
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,894
She made a pass.
443
00:18:19,697 --> 00:18:21,798
GLORIA: Mrs. Loomis
made a pass at you?
444
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,533
ARCHIE:
Made a pass, yes! Shh!
445
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,373
Look at the face on you.
What's on your mind?
446
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,473
Nothing.
447
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:31,875
It's just hard
for me to believe
448
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:33,576
that anybody would
make a pass at you.
449
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:39,649
Don't be a wise guy, huh?
450
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:41,385
Just remember this,
the two of yous--
451
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,986
Edith ain't supposed to
know nothing about that.
452
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:44,587
MICHAEL: All right,
don't worry about it, Arch.
453
00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:46,656
Come on, Gloria, we'll
be late for the movies.
454
00:18:46,658 --> 00:18:48,625
You're going to
the movies late, huh?
455
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,860
When you come home late,
don't wake me up!
456
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:53,230
I'll be on the couch, there.
457
00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:02,306
Oh, Edith,
you startled me.
458
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:03,307
I'm sorry.
459
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,842
Edith, do you like this?
460
00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:06,977
It's very pretty.
461
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,345
Oh, I'm glad
you think so.
462
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,147
I was going to wear it
to bed tonight,
463
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,282
but I think I'll wait
till Duke can see it.
464
00:19:13,784 --> 00:19:16,420
I got something to tell
you about going to bed.
465
00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:17,421
What's that, Edith?
466
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,556
You're not.
467
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:23,460
What?
468
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:28,565
I don't think it's a good idea
for you to sleep here tonight.
469
00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,367
Well, now, you see,
I have been a problem.
470
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:32,169
I'm not going to be
another bit of trouble.
471
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,570
I'm just going
to get my things
472
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:34,804
and go sleep
on that couch.
473
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,107
No!
474
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:40,510
I don't think it's a good idea
for you to sleep here
475
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,912
under the same roof with Archie.
476
00:19:42,914 --> 00:19:46,216
Archie? I don't understand.
477
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,955
It's something I just heard.
478
00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,891
I can't explain it,
479
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:57,760
and I never in my whole life
480
00:19:57,762 --> 00:20:01,798
have I ever asked anybody
to leave my house,
481
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,333
and if I stay here
another minute,
482
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,668
I'm gonna cry.
483
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:11,241
So please... that's all.
Please.
484
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:29,926
Hey, what's going on,
Bobbi Jo?
485
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,861
Where are you going
with the suitcase?
486
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:33,463
Don't you know?
487
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:34,797
Your wife asked
me to leave.
488
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,503
Aw, no, no, Bobbi Jo.
489
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,271
Edith never said that.
490
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:43,073
She said it was
something she heard
491
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,974
when she was down here
a little while ago.
492
00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,879
Oh, was she down here
a little while ago?
493
00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:52,549
You wouldn't happen
to know what she heard?
494
00:20:54,652 --> 00:20:55,885
No.
495
00:20:55,887 --> 00:21:00,223
Your wife thinks
I have a thing for you.
496
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:01,525
Now, why does she think that?
497
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,028
Did she say that?
498
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,397
She didn't have to.
499
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,135
Oh, this is kind of bad,
Bobbi Jo.
500
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,871
No. Don't worry, Archie.
501
00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:19,776
Nobody's gonna know about this
except you, me and Duke.
502
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,778
The Duke? No, no, no,
wait a minute, Bobbi Jo.
503
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,780
You can't go out like this.
Now, wait a minute.
504
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,615
Now, you put the bag down
and stay here.
505
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,684
Edith. Hey, Edith.
Come down here, will you?
506
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,719
I want to talk
to you, huh?
507
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:32,489
Uh, listen,
there was a mix-up
508
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,524
or something, you know,
509
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,725
and Edith didn't
mean that.
510
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:36,793
Now, I'll talk to her.
511
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:38,128
I'll straighten it
all out, see?
512
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,129
So, uh, Edith...
513
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:42,566
Edith?
514
00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:45,102
Uh, Edith, uh, I want
to talk to you, Edith,
515
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,170
but out
in the kitchen, huh?
516
00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:50,574
Now, listen, you stay here.
Now, don't go nowhere, see.
517
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:52,842
Edith.
518
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:54,777
Edith, what are
you doing?
519
00:21:54,779 --> 00:21:57,447
You can't kick her
out of the house.
520
00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:00,683
Is it true what I heard you
tell the kids--
521
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:03,386
that she kissed you
and made a pass at you?
522
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:06,456
Well, Edith, yes and no.
523
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,125
What does that mean?
524
00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:14,397
Yes, she kissed me,
but no, it wasn't no pass.
525
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:17,234
But I heard you tell the kids
it was.
526
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:20,703
Edith, Edith,
the kids was there, you see,
527
00:22:20,705 --> 00:22:23,373
and I had to come up with...
528
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:25,842
See, a pass is a tricky thing,
Edith.
529
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,545
You never know.
530
00:22:28,547 --> 00:22:29,846
You wouldn't know that,
531
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,848
because you ain't
a man of the world like me,
532
00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,716
you see.
533
00:22:33,718 --> 00:22:35,852
But I'm out there every day
amongst them
534
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:38,888
in the smelting pot of New York,
Edith,
535
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:40,723
and I know all about passes.
536
00:22:40,725 --> 00:22:43,627
I mean, I get them
every month-- 10, 20.
537
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:45,395
You do?
538
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,197
I do, Edith.
539
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:51,934
Oh, jeez, you don't know
what goes on in them subways...
540
00:22:51,936 --> 00:22:54,704
but then, you never know, see.
541
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:57,407
Like this here. It's a question.
542
00:22:57,409 --> 00:22:59,942
See, sometimes a person
is looking at you,
543
00:22:59,944 --> 00:23:03,680
and then sometimes a person
is looking at you, see. See?
544
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:07,050
You mean you might be mistaken
about what Bobbi Jo did?
545
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,686
That's all I'm saying, Edith.
546
00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:12,088
You see, we got to give her
the benefit of the doubt.
547
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:17,294
I got to
apologize to her.
548
00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:18,261
Archie?
549
00:23:20,898 --> 00:23:22,165
What?
550
00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,301
She's gone.
551
00:23:24,303 --> 00:23:28,137
Edith, don't tell me that.
She can't be gone.
552
00:23:31,041 --> 00:23:36,079
Oh, Archie, what's
she gonna think of us?
553
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:39,616
What's the Duke
gonna think of me?
554
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:40,850
Oh, Edith.
555
00:23:42,786 --> 00:23:47,056
[GRUMBLING]
556
00:23:47,058 --> 00:23:48,891
Oh, Archie.
557
00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:53,930
This whole night must have
been very hard for you.
558
00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:59,502
Oh, Edith, you ain't
got no idea...
559
00:24:05,142 --> 00:24:06,309
But I tried, didn't I?
560
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:08,678
I tried to fix
everything up here.
561
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,781
Sure you did. You done
the best you could.
562
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:16,319
Well, I always do, Edith.
563
00:24:16,321 --> 00:24:18,955
That's the kind of guy I am.
564
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,201
Archie? It's 1:30.
565
00:24:32,203 --> 00:24:33,970
Aren't you
coming to bed?
566
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,238
[GROANS]
567
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,539
Are you still worrying
568
00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:38,742
about what the
Duke will think?
569
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:42,945
No, I ain't worrying about him.
570
00:24:42,947 --> 00:24:45,782
I'm just remembering
that I-talian grenade.
571
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:49,786
The one the Duke threw himself
on to save your life?
572
00:24:49,788 --> 00:24:50,953
Yeah.
573
00:24:50,955 --> 00:24:52,155
I wouldn't be surprised
574
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:55,725
if he knew that that was a dud
all the time.
575
00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:14,711
[♪]
576
00:25:14,713 --> 00:25:16,513
ANNOUNCER: All In The Familywas recorded on tape
577
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,682
before a live audience.
578
00:25:18,732 --> 00:25:23,282
Repair and Synchronization by
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