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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,540
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,877
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:16,347
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:19,317
♪ And you knew whereYou were then ♪
6
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
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00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,194
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
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00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,805
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:45,977
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:54,486 --> 00:00:56,021
You'd better
finish up, Mike.
13
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,956
Dinner's almost ready.
14
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,124
Yeah? What are we having?
15
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,458
It's a surprise.
16
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,594
Oh, Archie's gonna
be so happy.
17
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:05,130
Edith, where are you?!
18
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:07,132
Here I am, dear.
19
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:08,232
Welcome home.
20
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,634
Don't get too
close to me now.
21
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,235
I don't want you
stepping on my toes.
22
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,537
Where are your shoes?
23
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,939
They're out there
on the porch, Edith.
24
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:18,242
Old lady Callan was
paying you a visit today,
25
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,078
Yeah. How did you know?
26
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,313
Because her dumb dog
left his calling card
27
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:24,549
on the porch right outside!
28
00:01:25,551 --> 00:01:28,219
Oh... I'm sorry.
29
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:30,488
Did you have a nice day?
30
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,090
Well, let me
put it this way, Edith--
31
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,892
what happened to me
out there on the porch
32
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:36,394
was maybe the best thing
that happened to me all day.
33
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,897
Oh, I'd better get
your shoes
34
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:40,899
or somebody'll
steal them.
35
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:41,933
Hold it, Edith.
36
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,570
Nobody ain't gonna
steal them shoes.
37
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,871
You want to do
something useful,
38
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,573
go get me
some beer, huh?
39
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:51,342
Oh, I don't think you
can clean them with beer.
40
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:56,114
They use beer
for hair, though.
41
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,850
Get me a can
of beer, will you,
42
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,219
while I get
my bowling shoes to put on.
43
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,787
Right away, Archie.
44
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:06,424
Oh, I almost forgot.
Mr. Munson called today.
45
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,226
He's coming by here tonight.
46
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:11,329
He's got something important
he wants you to sign.
47
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,764
Did he say what it was?
48
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,700
No. He said he wants
to see you personal.
49
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,667
I'll get the beer.
50
00:02:20,505 --> 00:02:22,774
[YAWNING LOUDLY]
51
00:02:26,678 --> 00:02:29,180
Where the hell am I, in a zoo?
52
00:02:32,384 --> 00:02:33,684
What's that noise for?
53
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:35,620
Take it easy, will you?
54
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,188
I'm tired. I had a rough day.
55
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:40,324
Yeah? What'd you do,
bend your library card?
56
00:02:46,899 --> 00:02:48,800
You could never do
what I did today.
57
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,069
Oh, yeah. What was you doing?
58
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,404
Thinking.
59
00:02:57,309 --> 00:02:59,010
Hi, everybody.
60
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,979
Oh, hi, honey.
Hello, honey.
61
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,113
[SMOOCHING NOISES]
62
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:04,548
EDITH: Oh...
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00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:06,417
Hi, Gloria.
64
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:07,418
Here's your beer, Archie.
65
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,020
Oh, Edith, leave
it there, huh?
66
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,488
Look at them two
over there.
67
00:03:11,556 --> 00:03:13,691
Can't yous two come up for air?
68
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,394
Daddy, I haven't
seen him all day.
69
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:19,497
You want to see him,
open your eyes and step back.
70
00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:21,966
Be nice, Daddy.
71
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,367
I worked hard today.
72
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,237
So did I, little girl,
but you don't see me coming home
73
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:28,339
and slobbering
all over your mother.
74
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,308
No, that's right, Gloria.
75
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:35,446
Your father was never
much of a slobberer.
76
00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:38,249
He's more of a pecker.
77
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:54,665
Will you go out there
and get supper on the table?
78
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,667
Hey, Ma,
I got paid today.
79
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,803
Forty-one dollars
and 30 cents.
80
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,404
Not bad for
three days work, huh?
81
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,706
Oh, ain't
that nice, Archie?
82
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:05,844
That's more money
coming into the house.
83
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,979
Oh, no. From my end,
it's more money going out.
84
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,547
She ain't a dependent no more.
85
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,082
That means
they're taking five bucks extra
86
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,984
out of my salary every week.
87
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,653
I don't even have a take-home
of 150 bucks no more.
88
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:18,589
Well, you can thank your buddy
Nixon's wage freeze for that.
89
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,960
Listen, if anybody criticizes
Nixon around here, it'll be me.
90
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,294
He's hurting me, not you.
91
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,998
Did I hear you say
something against Nixon?
92
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,735
No, not against all of him.
Just part of him.
93
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:31,802
What part?
94
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:35,006
The dumb part.
95
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,807
The part that runs over
to Russia and China
96
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:40,144
and sits on my wages.
97
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:41,579
50 bucks a week--
98
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:44,249
how the hell is a guy supposed
to support a family on that?
99
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,951
Archie, you wanna know why
you're paying too much taxes?
100
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,853
Because the big guys
are paying too little.
101
00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:51,022
See, we've got to stop up
those tax loopholes.
102
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,591
Why don't you tell me
something I don't know.
103
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,260
I've been saying that for years.
104
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:58,062
Begin with the church--
owns hundreds and hundreds
105
00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,563
of billions of dollars
worth of property.
106
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,165
Don't pay no tax on it at all.
107
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,733
Them Catholics
is getting away with murder.
108
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,802
Wait a second,
wait a second.
109
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:05,904
It's not just
Catholics, Arch.
110
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,805
It's all churches,
including Protestants.
111
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,839
Hold it, hold it.
112
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:11,175
Leave the Protestants
out of it, now.
113
00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:12,911
No, no, I'm saying
if this country
114
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:15,013
taxed all commercial
church property
115
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,847
and canceled
the oil depletion allowance,
116
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,649
you wouldn't have to pay
any taxes at all.
117
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,051
As a matter of fact,
the government
118
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,386
would be sending
everybody a dividend.
119
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,854
You know, you ought to run
for president yourself...
120
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,489
of Poland.
121
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,490
Come on.
122
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,159
Get the supper
on the table, huh?
123
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,760
When I come home here,
124
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,964
I want a little more chow
and a little less gab.
125
00:05:37,236 --> 00:05:38,602
I'd have to run
for chairman.
126
00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:46,010
What?
127
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,546
Poland doesn't have a president.
128
00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:53,184
Who the hell cares?
129
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,852
I got problems of my own.
130
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,487
Arch, I'm on your side.
131
00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:57,688
I know how tough
it's getting
132
00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,257
with higher prices
and higher taxes.
133
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,092
That's why when a man
like McGovern comes along
134
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,560
with a program
that's designed...
135
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:03,594
Hold it, hold it.
136
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:04,595
Don't give me no McGovern.
137
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:05,997
Why? What have you got
against him?
138
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,198
I got a lot against him!
139
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,933
For one thing,
his inheritance tax.
140
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:12,536
He wants to take away from a guy
everything over 500,000 bucks.
141
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:14,005
And I don't want
nobody telling me
142
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:17,041
how much money
I can leave Edith after I, uh...
143
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:20,178
Archie, first of all,
144
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,912
he's changed
his position on that,
145
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:23,881
and second of all,
do you honestly think
146
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,483
you can make
a half a million dollars
147
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,550
in your lifetime?
148
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,086
Why not? It's
a free country!
149
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,720
It could happen, huh?
150
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,823
You pass a law like that,
you kill my ambition.
151
00:06:34,059 --> 00:06:35,493
Daddy, promise me
something.
152
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,494
Would you promise me?
153
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:37,828
What?
154
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,964
Promise me you won't
leave me over $500,000.
155
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,999
I couldn't handle it.
156
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,266
And neither
could Michael.
157
00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:43,267
I'd buy boats
and trains...
158
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,469
What is it with her?
Oh!
159
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,537
Another little joke
going on, huh?
160
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:48,539
Let me tell you
something, little girl.
161
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,141
Nobody loves
a wisenheimer.
162
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,175
Now where is supper?
163
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,576
Why ain't it
on the table here?
164
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,578
Come on. It's coming
right now, if you sit down.
165
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,779
Well, get it on here, huh?
166
00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:57,181
Well, hurry up.
Look at the time.
167
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:58,383
All right.
Oh, boy, I'm starving.
168
00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,184
Okay, Ma.
169
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,920
Surprise!
170
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:08,092
Surprise?
Where's the surprise?
171
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,494
Right there.
172
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:13,297
That ain't no surprise.
That's a chicken.
173
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,266
It's chicken surprise.
174
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,301
I fixed it with pineapple rings
175
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:20,238
and brown sugar
and sliced almonds.
176
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,140
It's Hawaiian style.
177
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,708
I don't care
if you put a hula skirt on it.
178
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,777
It's nothing but a chicken.
179
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,946
Scrape all the goop
off of it there.
180
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,448
Oh, Archie...
181
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,251
Oh, Edith.
And how come chicken again, huh?
182
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,386
We had it four times
already this week.
183
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,422
Look, it's having an effect
on the Meathead over there.
184
00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,689
He's looking
like a chicken-head.
185
00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:49,267
But chicken... chicken
is only 29 cents a pound,
186
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,302
and we can't afford steak.
187
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,570
Jeez, Edith,
188
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:55,906
I ain't requesting
fill-it mig-non, you know.
189
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:58,042
Give me some hamburger
once in a while.
190
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:01,079
Hamburger is 98 cents a pound.
191
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,213
Since when?
192
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,014
Since Nixon.
Since Nixon.
193
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:07,151
Daddy, at least try it
with the sauce.
194
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,121
Ma worked so hard
to surprise you.
195
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,922
I got my big surprise today
on the porch.
196
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,525
I don't need it from a chicken.
197
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,960
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
198
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,161
That's the bell.
That's Munson.
199
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,197
All right, sit there.
I'll get it.
200
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,565
And Edith,
get that stuff away
201
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,699
from my place there
202
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,468
and bring me a bowl
of cornflakes. Fast.
203
00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:26,670
Oh, hiya, Munson.
Come on in.
204
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,272
Hi, Arch. I'm not
interrupting nothing, am I?
205
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,273
Yeah, you're
interrupting dinner
206
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,641
but that's no loss.
207
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:31,976
I got the cab
double-parked.
208
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,111
I can't stay long.
209
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,312
Yeah, well,
come on, sit down.
210
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,513
I heard it was
something important.
211
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,514
You called me up before.
212
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,515
Yeah, they're checking up
213
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,916
on my last year's
income tax return.
214
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,018
Oh... what are you
doing there, Munson,
215
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,320
cutting a few corners?
216
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:45,623
Not me. Not one red cent.
My return's 100% legit.
217
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,425
Oh, well, no wonder
they called you down.
218
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:51,195
You confused them.
219
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,963
100% legit return?
220
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,699
That throws
the whole computer out of whack.
221
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,935
No, no, no,
everything's okay, Arch,
222
00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:00,605
except I don't have no receipt
for the money I paid you.
223
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,973
Wh-- what do you mean, receipt?
224
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,042
You know,
for the 680 bucks I paid you
225
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,145
for driving the cab on Sundays.
226
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,946
Remember I paid you in cash,
like you wanted?
227
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:11,382
Well,
I ain't got no receipt for it.
228
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,484
Yeah, well, we don't
need no receipts, uh,
229
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,885
between you and me there,
Munson.
230
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,420
We-- we trust each other.
231
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,156
But the government don't.
232
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,358
So look, Arch, if you'll
just sign this piece of paper
233
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,659
saying I paid you the dough,
234
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,361
well, that'll satisfy
the tax people.
235
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,762
Oh, no, hold it, Munson.
Hold it.
236
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:27,331
You got to be awful careful
what you sign nowadays.
237
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,367
Come on, Arch,
you know I paid you the dough.
238
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,868
I've got the records right here.
239
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,470
What's the big deal
about signing a receipt?
240
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,306
Whoa... that's what Columbus
said to the Indians
241
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,741
just before he gipped them
out of Manhattan.
242
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:40,110
Oh, so you think
I'm gipping you, huh?
243
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:41,612
Let me see your records.
244
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:42,980
What are you
talking about?
245
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,449
I can't lay my hands on
my records like this here.
246
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,553
Ain't they in
the upstairs closet, Archie?
247
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,554
Under the galoshes.
248
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,989
No, they ain't.
249
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,191
If they're anywhere,
250
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,892
they're in my locker
down at the plant.
251
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,894
Oh, I was sure I saw them
there the other...
252
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:57,861
Oh, I get it.
253
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:03,067
Now I know why you wanted me
to pay you in cash.
254
00:10:03,069 --> 00:10:04,902
So you didn't have
to report that as income.
255
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:05,903
Get outta here!
256
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,371
I brought you some
coffee, Mr. Munson.
257
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:08,772
Put that coffee
back in the pot.
258
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:09,773
He ain't gonna
have none
259
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,974
because he ain't
got no time
260
00:10:10,976 --> 00:10:11,975
because he's leaving.
261
00:10:11,977 --> 00:10:14,078
I'm opening the door
for you, Munson.
262
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,879
So you didn't report that
as income, huh, Archie?
263
00:10:15,881 --> 00:10:16,880
That's fraud.
264
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,216
What are you
talking about, fraud?
265
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,451
You telling me you declared
all your tips last year?
266
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,587
Yeah. All of it--
$470 worth.
267
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,754
Get outta here!
268
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,556
You told me
you made that much by Easter.
269
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,758
So by December,
you must've made $1100, $1200.
270
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,827
So don't be throwing
no stones, see?
271
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,229
Because you're
a worser crook than me.
272
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,230
[CAR HORN HONKING]
273
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,931
There, there.
Your cab...
274
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:35,966
is blocking traffic
out there, Munson.
275
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,635
I'm coming! I'm coming!
276
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,637
Look, Arch, I'm gonna be
coming back tomorrow,
277
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,838
and you'd better sign
that receipt,
278
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,039
or you'll be in big trouble.
279
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,475
[CAR HORN HONKS]
I'm coming!
280
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,043
Big shot.
281
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:48,078
Gonna make
big trouble for me, huh?
282
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,480
Who does he think he's fooling?
283
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,982
And what are
you looking at?
284
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:55,720
Don't pay no attention
to that guy there.
285
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,255
Now look at these two.
286
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:59,423
Giving me the big
double-"O" over here.
287
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,024
Why is everybody staring at me
288
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:03,026
like I was some kind
of boss of the mafia
289
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,061
or something.
290
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,463
How could you cheat
on your taxes?
291
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,831
I didn't cheat.
292
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,400
I just done
what everybody else does.
293
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,469
But if everybody cheats,
294
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,339
why did Mr. Munson say
you could be in big trouble?
295
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,774
Because everybody
doesn't cheat, Ma,
296
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,376
and if Archie committed a fraud,
297
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,177
they could fine him
or put him in jail.
298
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,079
Jail? Oh, my...
299
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,681
Lay off of the jail stuff,
will you?
300
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,516
I didn't commit nothing.
301
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:29,019
I just didn't mention something,
that's all.
302
00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,888
I was just, uh,
what do you call it...
303
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:34,325
exercising my loophole,
like any of the big guys.
304
00:11:37,061 --> 00:11:39,730
Face it, Daddy.
What you did was illegal.
305
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,932
I don't want you
going to jail, Archie.
306
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:45,135
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
I ain't going to jail.
307
00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:48,572
You never could get used
to a strange bathroom.
308
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:49,507
Oh!
309
00:11:53,645 --> 00:11:55,913
Just stifle yourself, huh?
310
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,247
Look, Archie,
you'd better go down
311
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,349
to that tax office.
312
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,150
If you wait for them
to come after you,
313
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,552
they could
throw the book at you.
314
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,886
What do you know about it?
315
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,888
You ain't gonna see
the inside of a tax office
316
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,256
as long as you live.
317
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:08,959
Don't be telling me when
I got to go to the tax office.
318
00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:11,462
Edith...
319
00:12:13,665 --> 00:12:16,734
I'm going
to the tax office.
320
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,268
So first thing
tomorrow morning,
321
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,503
you get yourself ready.
322
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:20,504
Now, you're going with me.
323
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,105
Why does Ma have to go with you?
324
00:12:22,107 --> 00:12:24,274
Because she and me
signed a joint return,
325
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,275
that's why...
326
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:26,644
with our names
on it there,
327
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,946
and she's in this thing
up to her neck.
328
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:29,913
Archie...
329
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:33,016
I don't know anything...
330
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,186
Up... to your neck, Edith.
331
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:45,830
Look at this here.
332
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,030
Will you look
at the time?
333
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:48,833
It's 10 minutes to 1:00.
There you are:
334
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,468
a whole half
a day's pay, shot.
335
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,669
It shows you what you get
336
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,070
for trying to be
a good citizen.
337
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,773
It'll be all right, Archie.
Don't be nervous.
338
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,007
I ain't nervous, Edith.
339
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:59,743
What are you
picking your ear for?
340
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:01,311
Just passing
the time, Edith.
341
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,314
It's an old army trick.
342
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:05,649
RECEPTIONIST:
Mr. Baxter. Huh?
343
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:08,151
Baxter.
344
00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:09,353
Yes, Ma'am.
345
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:11,121
You are nervous.
346
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,322
Don't worry.
347
00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,625
All you have to do
is go in
348
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,094
and tell them you're sorry,
and you won't do it again.
349
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:21,231
How many times have I
got to tell you, Edith?
350
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:23,033
I didn't do nothing.
351
00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:25,636
Well, you didn't
declare your income.
352
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,805
Edith, I'm telling you
for the last time,
353
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,840
that wasn't income.
354
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:33,477
That was money I earned
by working on Sundays.
355
00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:38,916
What a man does
on the Sabbath
356
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,318
is between him
and his maker.
357
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:46,423
Oh, I don't think
the government
358
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:49,459
is as religious as you are.
359
00:13:53,464 --> 00:13:55,032
Have a little mercy on me
360
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,434
and stifle yourself,
will you?
361
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,537
Just sit there quiet
and try and remember
362
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,704
what you're going to say
363
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:03,407
when you get into
the tax examiner there.
364
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,776
Well, there's nothing
to remember.
365
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,377
All I'm going to do
is agree
366
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,413
with everything
you tell him.
367
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,248
That's right. Good girl.
368
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:15,719
What are you
gonna tell him?
369
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,955
I'm gonna tell him
the truth, Edith--
370
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,890
that I had all
the figures wrote down
371
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,892
on a piece of paper
that I gave to you
372
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,261
and you threw them
away by mistake.
373
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:25,963
I-- I don't remember
374
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,933
throwing a piece of paper
away by mistake.
375
00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:31,201
How could you
remember it, Edith,
376
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:34,004
if it was a mistake?
377
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:37,641
Oh, yeah.
That makes sense.
378
00:14:39,143 --> 00:14:40,945
It's hot in here.
379
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,246
Well, take
your coat off, Edith.
380
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:44,548
Oh, yeah.
381
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:50,888
How come you're wearing
a fancy dress today?
382
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,691
Well, you want me
to look nice, don't you?
383
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:57,595
Not down here,
Edith, jeez.
384
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,597
That tax examiner sees you
all dolled up that way,
385
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,831
he'll think I'm one
386
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,567
of them Park Avenue dudes
with money to burn.
387
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,534
Mr. Johnson.
388
00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:08,739
Oh, look, another guy
going in there
389
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:09,873
ahead of me.
390
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:11,875
I ain't never going
to get into that office.
391
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,077
Maybe you'd better
call the plant
392
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,813
and tell them you might
not be in at all today.
393
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,014
Yeah, all right,
I'll do that.
394
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,348
I'll call the plant.
395
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,851
You just stay here, Edith,
and mind my chair, huh?
396
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,686
And, uh, Edith, uh...
397
00:15:25,189 --> 00:15:26,657
Watch your bag.
398
00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:29,259
Oh, Edith...
399
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,694
Excuse me.
400
00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:33,130
Gee, buddy, why don't you
watch where you're going?
401
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:34,531
You nearly stepped
on my foot here.
402
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,000
Well, I didn't see your foot.
403
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,868
Well, you see a person
standing here,
404
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,004
you know there's got to be
a foot down there.
405
00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:42,439
MAN: Hey, Phil.
What?
406
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,108
Your McGovern button.
Huh?
407
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,243
Turn it over,
like my Nixon button.
408
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,511
No politics in the office.
409
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,346
Yeah. Oh, okay. Thanks.
410
00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:51,782
You nearly stepped
on my foot here.
411
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,483
Said I was sorry.
412
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:54,618
Will you stop worrying?
413
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,086
I'm telling you,
it's in the bag.
414
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,087
It's all sewed up.
415
00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:00,024
I got the guy
in my hip pocket.
416
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,025
Listen to me.
417
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,993
These examiners
are only human, right?
418
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:05,062
I mean, what can a guy
like that pull down?
419
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,563
A hundred and a half,
200 tops.
420
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:07,865
All right,
so the minute
421
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,967
he starts digging
into our return,
422
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,402
I figure
I'll schmear him.
423
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:13,570
All I said was,
424
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,073
"Hey, you ever been
to the Virgin Islands?"
425
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,808
As if I didn't know.
426
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,643
Now it's his turn.
427
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,512
One hand washes
the other, right?
428
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,882
No, no, he told me
to come back at 3:00,
429
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,216
but don't worry.
430
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:29,286
I've got him
eating out of my hand.
431
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:30,821
Yeah, yeah.
432
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,089
Yeah, all right,
I'll see you later.
433
00:16:41,465 --> 00:16:43,233
Didn't you make
your call?
434
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:44,334
Don't worry about that.
435
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,736
I've got something
more important than that
436
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,071
to tell you.
437
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,106
Did you see this guy
who was on the phone?
438
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,308
I heard him. He sounded
like a real insider to me.
439
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,110
From what I heard,
I got some information
440
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,912
that's going to let us
right off the hook.
441
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,180
That's wonderful, Archie.
442
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,247
I'm telling you,
443
00:16:57,249 --> 00:16:58,816
I should have
thought of it myself.
444
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,384
Now, listen, Edith,
the examiner in there--
445
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:04,454
he's only human, right?
446
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:05,789
Now, what can he make?
447
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,926
A hundred and fifty a week,
200 a week tops, that's all.
448
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,361
So when I go in there,
what I got to do is
449
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,163
I butter him up
a little bit, you know?
450
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,164
Give him the old schmear.
451
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,799
The old schmear!
452
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:16,800
What's that?
453
00:17:16,802 --> 00:17:18,435
Shh! Shh!
454
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,408
It's a kind of
a present, see, Edith?
455
00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:27,677
I slip him something
on the side there
456
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,312
in return
for a little favor
457
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,848
that he's going
to do me.
458
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,917
Oh, that don't sound
too honest.
459
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,887
Oh, Edith, the whole
world does it.
460
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,088
It's what do you call...
461
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,389
wash your hands, see.
462
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:49,066
Oh, Archie, I can't believe
that nobody's honest.
463
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,067
RECEPTIONIST:
Mr. Bunker.
464
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,269
That's us.
Yeah, all right.
465
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,470
Edith, come on. Come on.
466
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:55,272
Put your coat on, will you?
467
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,273
First room
on the right.
468
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,274
Where?
469
00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:58,275
First room
on the right.
470
00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:59,777
On the right, yeah.
Thank you.
471
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,511
Come on, Edith.
Hurry up, huh?
472
00:18:13,357 --> 00:18:15,292
I'm Turner.
I think we've met.
473
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,361
You're the tax examiner here?
474
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,363
That's right, I am.
Won't you come in, Mr. Bunker?
475
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,364
Yeah, yeah.
476
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:22,766
Thanks very much,
there, uh...
477
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,802
Get in here, Edith.
478
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,636
And this must be
Mrs. Bunker.
479
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:27,704
That's right.
480
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:28,839
Won't you sit
down, please?
481
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,108
Yeah, thanks.
Sit down, sit down, Edith.
482
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,410
Uh, see, I'm sorry
for what happened
483
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:35,045
out there in the hall.
484
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,247
Uh, you know, uh,
bumping into me,
485
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:40,851
which is to say,
my bumping into you.
486
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,787
I-- I, uh, got
my leg hurt, you know,
487
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,089
and it's an old war wound.
488
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,892
Archie, you never
told me about that.
489
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:56,399
That's because I didn't want
to worry you, Edith.
490
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,668
Are you all right now?
491
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:00,403
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
492
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:02,739
You know, you learn
to live with them things.
493
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,674
Good, let's get to your problem.
494
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,676
Yeah, well, listen,
before we start, Mr. Turner
495
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,478
just one thing
I want to say to you.
496
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,715
Uh... I ain't like them other
crooks out there, you know.
497
00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,817
I mean, I didn't
have to be dragged in here.
498
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,653
See, I volunteer to come
down here on my own hook.
499
00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,255
You tell him, Edith,
and keep it short.
500
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:21,191
That's right, Mr. Turner.
501
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:23,260
Archie volunteered
to come down
502
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,062
as soon as he found out
503
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,696
he might have
to go to prison.
504
00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:37,407
Don't say a thing
like that, Edith.
505
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:39,509
Mr. Turner might think
you mean it, there.
506
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,643
Edith's only fooling.
507
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:41,945
She's always kidding
around. Ha-ha.
508
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,282
I see you want to amend
509
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:47,317
your last year's
tax return. Why?
510
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:48,818
Oh, well, see,
511
00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:53,623
I-- I forgot to declare
$680 extra that I made.
512
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,192
Well, how did that happen?
513
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,560
Well, in the first place,
I had all the figures
514
00:19:57,562 --> 00:19:59,096
wrote down
on a piece of paper,
515
00:19:59,098 --> 00:20:01,831
and then my wife, Edith,
here, she threw it away,
516
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,233
and then I got
all balled up,
517
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,434
and the return
was getting late.
518
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,103
I thought
I was going to be late.
519
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,304
You know, after all, Mr. Turner,
520
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,505
see, I'm only a little guy,
521
00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,307
and I ain't like one
of your big corporations
522
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:13,043
can run down to H&R Block
whenever they got a problem.
523
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:22,652
Okay, Mr. Bunker.
524
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,454
This extra income--
how did you come by it?
525
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:26,924
Oh, he didn't come by it,
Mr. Turner.
526
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,858
He worked for it.
527
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:31,694
He made it driving a cab
on Sundays.
528
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:33,096
I see.
529
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,398
Yeah, that's right, Mr. Turner.
530
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,598
I want to tell you something.
531
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,633
Even holding down two jobs,
532
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:38,501
it's awful hard
for a guy like me
533
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,270
to make ends meet nowadays.
534
00:20:40,272 --> 00:20:42,372
Like, for instance,
last week here,
535
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,841
we had chicken four times.
536
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,744
Now, I know yous people love it,
but it drives me up the wall.
537
00:20:55,886 --> 00:20:57,387
I hate chicken.
538
00:20:57,389 --> 00:21:00,324
You hate chicken. No kidding.
539
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,125
Yeah, but if it'd make you
feel any better
540
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,127
I love watermelon.
541
00:21:12,036 --> 00:21:13,636
Now, let's get back
to this tax situation.
542
00:21:13,638 --> 00:21:15,872
By the way,
about that situation there,
543
00:21:15,874 --> 00:21:18,041
I hear
that's all gonna be fixed up
544
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,242
by Mr. McGovern.
545
00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:20,944
McGovern?
546
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,946
Yeah, he says he's
going to fix it all up
547
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:23,981
for the little guy.
548
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,382
He's going to get
at them millionaires
549
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,583
with the great big
tax loopholes.
550
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:27,784
So you're a McGovern man, huh?
551
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,687
Oh, are you kidding?
552
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,090
Archie...
but I thought you...
553
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:37,260
I'm a McGovern man.
McGovern.
554
00:21:37,262 --> 00:21:39,329
Well, I'd like to discuss it
with you, Mr. Bunker,
555
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:41,331
but we're not allowed
to talk politics on the job.
556
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:42,866
Archie, I didn't
know you was...
557
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:45,135
Edith, did you hear
what Mr. Turner said?
558
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,936
He ain't allowed to discuss
politics on the job,
559
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:47,804
and he's right.
560
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,241
Well, Mr. Bunker,
the way I figure it,
561
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:54,077
you owe the government
exactly $140.08.
562
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,612
Uh...
563
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:57,447
listen,
let me ask you something.
564
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:01,351
You ever go out on Sundays?
565
00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:02,652
Sometimes.
566
00:22:03,921 --> 00:22:06,990
How would you like
a free cab ride?
567
00:22:11,862 --> 00:22:12,929
How would I like a what?
568
00:22:14,065 --> 00:22:15,065
You want to go out?
569
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,466
I'll get the cab, pick you up,
570
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,868
take you to any place
in the city you want to go.
571
00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:20,603
Get you back to Harlem
before nightfall.
572
00:22:28,612 --> 00:22:32,015
Mr. Bunker,
I live in Far Rockaway,
573
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,283
and I drive my own car.
574
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,318
Oh, you drive your own car, huh?
575
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,319
Yeah.
576
00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:38,121
Well, hey, hey, hey, listen.
577
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:39,589
A guy drives his own car--
578
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:41,791
I'll bet you could use a couple
of brand-new tires, huh?
579
00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:43,793
I know where I could
lay my hands on some.
580
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,795
Uh, my wife's cousin,
Howard,
581
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:48,031
he left them to me
when he died.
582
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:51,168
I don't remember
any cousin Howard.
583
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,002
That's because he died.
584
00:22:54,672 --> 00:22:58,007
See, that's Edith all over.
Out of sight, out of mind.
585
00:22:58,009 --> 00:22:59,209
Well, how about it,
Mr. Turner?
586
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,343
Can you use them tires?
587
00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:02,479
Mr. Bunker,
are you trying to bribe me?
588
00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:04,747
No, no, no. Nothing like that.
589
00:23:06,484 --> 00:23:08,085
I guess I'm getting
overly suspicious,
590
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,219
because just this morning
591
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,587
a man tried to offer me
592
00:23:10,589 --> 00:23:11,988
a free trip
to the Virgin Islands.
593
00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:12,855
I know.
594
00:23:14,425 --> 00:23:17,360
I mean, I know guys
do that all the time--
595
00:23:17,362 --> 00:23:18,428
offering things
like that.
596
00:23:18,430 --> 00:23:20,930
Do you hear that, Edith?
What a lousy crook.
597
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:24,201
What's gonna happen to him?
598
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,603
Oh, we're auditing his returns
for the last seven years.
599
00:23:28,072 --> 00:23:29,639
Seven years? Ooh.
600
00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:31,141
By the way, Mr. Bunker,
601
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:32,742
how long
have you been driving a cab?
602
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,478
Uh, three years. Why?
603
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:35,979
Tell you what.
604
00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:38,081
We're gonna overlook
that cab ride,
605
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,550
but for your kind offer
of the tires...
606
00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:41,551
Yeah?
607
00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:42,952
The Internal Revenue Service
608
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:46,389
is going to audit your returns
for the last three years.
609
00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:47,690
For what?
610
00:23:47,692 --> 00:23:49,826
Wait here, Mr. Bunker.
611
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:51,228
Edith, did you hear
what he said?
612
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:52,762
They're gonna audit me
for three years.
613
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:55,599
They might as well stand me
up against the wall!
614
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:57,667
Oh, Edith. Holy cow.
615
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,270
Oh, Archie,
it ain't so bad.
616
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:03,940
At least you found
an honest man.
617
00:24:13,217 --> 00:24:14,451
[FOOTSTEPS
COMING DOWN STAIRCASE]
618
00:24:19,490 --> 00:24:22,125
Come on, Daddy, cheer up.
It's only money.
619
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,960
Oh, listen to that.
620
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:26,963
I'll bet you'd tell
a drowning guy it's only water.
621
00:24:31,536 --> 00:24:35,872
[SHRILL, OFF-KEY VOICE]
♪ Look for the silver lining ♪
622
00:24:35,874 --> 00:24:39,609
Will you can that?
623
00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:42,379
Why would you start singing me
a song like that there?
624
00:24:42,381 --> 00:24:45,482
You've got to look
on the bright side, Archie.
625
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,218
After all,
you've still got your health,
626
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,053
and you've still got me.
627
00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:51,788
And me.
628
00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:53,690
And don't you
say nothing.
629
00:25:08,706 --> 00:25:11,441
[♪]
630
00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,243
ANNOUNCER: All In The Familywas recorded on tape
631
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:15,378
before a live audience.
632
00:25:15,428 --> 00:25:19,978
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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