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1
00:00:03,335 --> 00:00:05,536
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:09,207
♪ songs that made
the hit parade ♪
3
00:00:09,274 --> 00:00:12,811
♪ guys like us
we had it made ♪
4
00:00:12,878 --> 00:00:16,114
[ together ]
♪ those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:19,484
[ Edith ]♪ and you knew where you were then ♪
6
00:00:19,551 --> 00:00:23,622
[ Archie ]
♪ girls were girls and men were men ♪
7
00:00:23,689 --> 00:00:25,924
[ together ]
♪ mister, we could use a man ♪
8
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:29,828
♪ like Herbert hoover again ♪
9
00:00:29,895 --> 00:00:33,064
[ Archie ]
♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪
10
00:00:33,132 --> 00:00:36,400
[ Edith ]
♪ everybody pulled his weight ♪
11
00:00:36,468 --> 00:00:40,571
[ together ]
♪ gee, our old lasalle ran great ♪
12
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:46,310
♪ those were the days ♪
13
00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,221
ooh, I've never been
so cold in my life.
14
00:00:57,289 --> 00:01:01,059
Ma, what's taking daddy so long?
I'm freezing.
15
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:05,296
Archie, did you fix
the furnace yet?
16
00:01:05,364 --> 00:01:07,732
[ Clattering ][ Archie ]Long ago, Edith.
17
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,803
But I'm staying down herebecause I love the cellar.
18
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:16,407
Oh, I see.
Dingbat.
19
00:01:16,475 --> 00:01:19,044
Gloria, pass the toast.
Here.
20
00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:23,347
Have some more coffee.
It'll take the chill off your bones.
21
00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:27,852
Thanks, ma. Why does the furnace
only break down on Sundays?
22
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,890
Your father made up
a joke about that.
23
00:01:31,957 --> 00:01:34,592
He said, "we got
a religious oil burner.
24
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:39,564
It never works on Sunday."
[ Laughing ]
25
00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:48,239
When your father told me,
I thought I'd never stop laughing.
26
00:01:49,374 --> 00:01:52,410
Well, I think I got
the damn thing fixed.
27
00:01:52,477 --> 00:01:55,580
We should have some heat
up here in a few minutes. Oh, good.
28
00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:58,282
Yeah, but a funny thing hit
me when I was down there.
29
00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:02,220
[ Laughs ]
We got a religious oil burner.
30
00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:06,424
It don't work Sundays.
[ Laughing ]
31
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:14,432
I just told them
that joke, Archie.
32
00:02:14,499 --> 00:02:17,168
Oh, thank you.
[ Doorbell buzzes ]
33
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:19,170
I'll get it.
34
00:02:19,238 --> 00:02:21,472
Wait a minute.
Hold your horses there, meathead.
35
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:24,209
Don't be grabbin' seconds
till other people get firsts.
36
00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:28,012
- [ Edith ] Who was that?- Someone delivering these leaflets.
37
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,448
Oh. What does it say?
38
00:02:30,515 --> 00:02:33,651
It says, "would you like
to sell your house?
39
00:02:33,719 --> 00:02:36,788
"The Chester byrd
real estate agency is prepared to offer you...
40
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:40,458
"A substantial profit
on your original purchase price if you'll act now.
41
00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:43,628
If interested,
call Mr. byrd at 877--"
42
00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:46,430
let me see that there
leaflet. "Chester byrd--"
43
00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:51,435
"substantial profit." They got
them words underlined here.
44
00:02:51,503 --> 00:02:54,139
Hey, who would want to pay
a lot of money for this house?
45
00:02:54,206 --> 00:02:58,042
Are you kiddin'?
They don't build homes like this nowadays.
46
00:02:58,110 --> 00:03:02,013
This house is constructed
way better than the new ones you see around today.
47
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:05,416
So are the pyramids,
but who'd want to live there?
48
00:03:11,056 --> 00:03:14,725
You would if they'd
let you in for nothin'.
49
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:17,728
Daddy, you still haven't
answered Michael's question:
50
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,864
Who would want
to buy this house?
51
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:23,168
Lots of people,
little girl. Oh, I don't know, Archie.
52
00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:25,736
Oh, all right, Edith.
I ain't sayin' everybody.
53
00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:29,140
After all, one man's goose
is another man's gander.
54
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:32,343
All I'm saying is...
55
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:36,047
That somewhere
there's a man for who this house is perfect.
56
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,983
What if he lives in Japan?
57
00:03:40,886 --> 00:03:44,222
Then he loses out, Edith.
58
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,892
But, daddy, why would you
want to sell? Your mortgage is almost paid up.
59
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,894
Yeah. It doesn't
make any sense.
60
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:52,163
Certainly it makes sense.
61
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:56,234
I bought this house
20 years ago for $14,000.
62
00:03:56,302 --> 00:04:01,172
The way prices are goin' up,
maybe I could turn it over today for 21,000, maybe 22.
63
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,275
Yeah, but, Archie,
wherever you move in New York is gonna cost you that much.
64
00:04:04,343 --> 00:04:08,346
So who says we gotta live
in New York? Maybe we could live someplace cheaper, cost less.
65
00:04:08,413 --> 00:04:11,549
Like where?
Oh, use your imagination, will ya?
66
00:04:11,616 --> 00:04:14,185
There's plenty of places.
Out west, for example.
67
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,420
You got a little elbow room
out there.
68
00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:20,458
A man can move along
the mountaintops without people pushin' and shovin'.
69
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:24,329
Where you don't seldom hear
no discouraging word.
70
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:28,233
He means California.
71
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,402
That's right, California.
Hey, Edith, just for the fun of it,
72
00:04:31,470 --> 00:04:33,404
run upstairs
and get that box.
73
00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:35,673
Oh, yeah.
What box is that?
74
00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:38,943
Their travel folders.
Every winter when daddy gets cold,
75
00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:43,481
they sit and dream about
moving out west, but they never get out the box.
76
00:04:43,548 --> 00:04:48,819
Out of the box. Well,
listen, someday I might just surprise you, little girl.
77
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:51,089
"Chester byrd real estate."
78
00:04:51,156 --> 00:04:55,894
This looks like a legitimate
reality company here-- Chester byrd.
79
00:04:55,961 --> 00:05:01,532
You know, I think I'm
just gonna call this guy up, see what's goin' on.
80
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,636
You're wasting your time.
Boy, talk about acting out your fantasies.
81
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:09,974
Aw, button up, youse two.
What's the harm in callin' the guy, huh?
82
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,777
Just to see what he says.
There we are.
83
00:05:12,844 --> 00:05:14,879
Here's the box, Archie.
84
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:19,650
All right, Edith.
I'm on the line here. [ Clears throat ]
85
00:05:19,718 --> 00:05:25,023
Hello. Uh, Chester byrd?
Oh, this is Mr. byrd.
86
00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:28,692
This is Archie bunker
of 704 hauser street,
87
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,096
my residence from which
I'm calling you here.
88
00:05:32,164 --> 00:05:35,400
And I just found
a leaflet at my door,
89
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:38,536
and the words
"substantial profit" caught my eye.
90
00:05:38,603 --> 00:05:42,073
I was wondering
what that would come to in dollars and cents.
91
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:45,509
Not on the phone? Ah.
92
00:05:45,577 --> 00:05:49,847
Oh, you could come over?
Oh, sure. Sure.
93
00:05:49,915 --> 00:05:52,683
You can come on over.
Why not?
94
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:56,120
Yeah, fine. Okay. Bye.
95
00:05:56,188 --> 00:05:59,123
Ah. Never make a move, huh?
96
00:05:59,191 --> 00:06:02,427
Well, Mr. Chester byrd,
whose office is just up here on the boulevard,
97
00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:04,528
will be around
in three minutes.
98
00:06:04,596 --> 00:06:07,065
Edith, what are you
sticking in my spine?
99
00:06:07,132 --> 00:06:09,067
You wanted the box.
100
00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:12,170
Can't you just leave it
over there? Sure.
101
00:06:12,237 --> 00:06:14,439
Archie, you'd really
leave New York?
102
00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:19,610
I might. After all,
why not, huh? What's the big attraction here?
103
00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:23,848
The weather out there,
which is always "louzay."
104
00:06:23,915 --> 00:06:27,151
Edith, read some of them
pamphlets there.
105
00:06:27,219 --> 00:06:30,455
"Come to the land
of milk and honey."
106
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:34,425
Yeah, California.
No, Archie. That's Israel.
107
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:40,564
Oh, here it is.
108
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:45,203
"California--
the land of sunshine."
109
00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:48,206
Yeah, sunshine
and clean air.
110
00:06:48,273 --> 00:06:51,509
Archie's cousin Rudy
lives out there.
111
00:06:51,576 --> 00:06:54,612
Bertha's boy. In el monte.
112
00:06:54,679 --> 00:06:59,583
El monte.
Oh, don't that sound pretty?
113
00:07:00,752 --> 00:07:04,122
Just imagine--
he says in the morning...
114
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:07,291
You can reach your hand
out the bedroom window...
115
00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:10,561
And pick an orange
off the tree.
116
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:13,264
You done that in New York,
you get your hand mugged.
117
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,535
Come on, Archie. California's
just as bad as New York.
118
00:07:17,602 --> 00:07:21,906
Oh, listen to our
world traveler over here.
119
00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:24,275
Never been west
of the Chicago stockyards,
120
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,178
but now he's a regular
Marco Polish.
121
00:07:29,281 --> 00:07:31,815
Funny, arch.
That's funny.
122
00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:35,319
I suppose it wouldn't be nice
to live in a neighborhood where you go for a walk...
123
00:07:35,387 --> 00:07:37,821
Without fearing to take
your life in your hands.
124
00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,191
Oh, come on, arch.
What are you talkin' about?
125
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,626
You can't run away.
There's no hiding place.
126
00:07:42,694 --> 00:07:46,297
Oh, yes there is--
safe city. Safe city?
127
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:50,134
That's right.
Safe city, California. Right here.
128
00:07:50,202 --> 00:07:53,871
Where the minorities
don't outnumber the majorities.
129
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:59,177
Look what they got here.
Tv monitors in all the lobbies.
130
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:02,180
They got-- they got
special locks all over.
131
00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:06,684
They got armed guards
around the clock and a 12-foot wall around the whole place.
132
00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:10,121
It's beautiful.
He's gonna move to San Quentin.
133
00:08:11,756 --> 00:08:14,692
No. Santa Monica.
134
00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:16,994
Right on the ocean.
135
00:08:17,062 --> 00:08:22,666
"Just off the centinela exit
of the Santa Monica freeway."
136
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:26,204
Oh, my, don't that sound
romantic?
137
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:31,409
The centinela exit
of the Santa Monica freeway.
138
00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:35,045
Sounds a whole lot better
than flushing.
139
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,452
Or the gawanus canal.
140
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:46,657
Which if you threw a stick
into it, it wouldn't splash, it bends.
141
00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:48,726
Daddy, what would you do
about a job?
142
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:51,729
Yeah, that's right, arch.
I hear they're laying off lots of men in California.
143
00:08:51,796 --> 00:08:54,665
- Things are pretty bad there.
- They ain't bad for everybody.
144
00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:56,867
Come on, arch.
I've heard you say it a hundred times.
145
00:08:56,935 --> 00:08:59,036
You'd never move
out of this neighborhood.
146
00:08:59,104 --> 00:09:01,672
You never even go anywhere
when you have a vacation.
147
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:05,343
Oh, we did once.
Archie took me to Atlantic city.
148
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:08,513
Sure.
I'm willing to travel.
149
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:13,184
We had to come home, though,
after only two days.
150
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,987
Because you said you couldn't
use a strange bathroom.
151
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:24,862
Will you stifle yourself?
152
00:09:24,929 --> 00:09:28,832
We came home early
because you went crazy in the ocean.
153
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,835
Your mother, instead of staying
with me there in the water, holdin' onto the rope,
154
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:35,573
she turns over on her back
and goes floatin' out to sea.
155
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,875
Like mopey dick.
156
00:09:37,942 --> 00:09:40,344
The great white dingbat.
157
00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:45,483
I'm a good floater.
Stifle yourself!
158
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:49,487
[ Doorbell buzzes ]There he is. There he is.There's Chester byrd now.
159
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:54,258
Don't do anything, Edith.
Youse two sit there like you don't care about nothin', right?
160
00:09:54,326 --> 00:09:56,860
Edith, don't open the door yet.
Let me get into the kitchen...
161
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:59,930
'Cause I don't want him
to think I'm too anxious about anything, see?
162
00:09:59,998 --> 00:10:03,634
When I'm in here,
you open the door. Go ahead now.
163
00:10:03,702 --> 00:10:07,505
Oh.
Mrs. bunker? Chester byrd, Chester byrd real estate.
164
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:11,242
How do you do?
Won't you come in? Thank you.
165
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:15,379
Let me take your coat.
My husband is in the kitchen.
166
00:10:15,447 --> 00:10:18,549
Archie, Mr. byrd is here.
167
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:25,823
[ Archie ]
Oh, is he? Say, would you like a nice soft drink, Mr. byrd?
168
00:10:25,890 --> 00:10:29,327
Or would you prefer
somethin' hard? Soft will be fine.
169
00:10:29,394 --> 00:10:31,662
Pour yourself
a hard one, arch.
170
00:10:39,371 --> 00:10:42,707
Won't you sit down,
Mr. byrd?
171
00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:46,477
You know, I get
a real homey feeling here. A real welcome feeling.
172
00:10:46,545 --> 00:10:49,913
Oh, I'm very glad you do.
173
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:54,518
Here we are. A little light
refreshments in order before we start to talk--
174
00:10:56,488 --> 00:11:00,591
thank you, Mr. bunker.
You're colored.
175
00:11:02,093 --> 00:11:05,129
Gee, arch,
we didn't think you'd notice.
176
00:11:06,598 --> 00:11:09,199
You didn't sound colored
on the phone.
177
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,702
I used a white telephone.
178
00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:20,478
Well, shall we
get down to business? Well, uh--
179
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:23,481
[ phone ringing ]
Wait a minute. Hold it. Hold everything here.
180
00:11:23,548 --> 00:11:26,216
The telephone.
181
00:11:26,285 --> 00:11:28,218
Hello.
182
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,455
Oh, it's you, mcnab.
What do you want?
183
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:34,759
You saw who comin' in?
184
00:11:38,029 --> 00:11:43,133
Listen, mcnab, don't give me--
hey, mcnab, keep your shirt on, will ya?
185
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,603
No, I ain't-- I--
186
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:49,573
I ain't gonna "ell-say"
the "ouse-hay" to no "Ade-spay."
187
00:11:54,613 --> 00:11:58,248
Just calm down, will ya?
I'll talk to you about it later. Good-bye.
188
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:03,954
Well, uh, Mr. byrd,
189
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:07,792
all I got to say to you is...
Thanks for droppin' by.
190
00:12:07,859 --> 00:12:10,761
Wait a minute, Mr. bunker.
I came to talk about your house.
191
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:14,298
Well, uh, I just made up my mind
that I-I ain't gonna sell it.
192
00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:18,202
Oh? Has something happened
to color your decision?
193
00:12:18,269 --> 00:12:21,238
Now, wait a minute.
Color ain't got nothin' to do with it.
194
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:24,208
See, I just don't
want to sell you my house,
195
00:12:24,275 --> 00:12:27,578
and that's all there is to it,
Mr. blackbird-- byrd.
196
00:12:34,586 --> 00:12:38,222
My decision is, uh--
my decision is final,
197
00:12:38,289 --> 00:12:41,492
and you ain't got enough money
to change my mind...
198
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,061
So there's no sense
in you wastin' your time.
199
00:12:44,128 --> 00:12:48,065
Well, it's my time.
Yeah, well, after all, I can throw figures at you,
200
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:50,668
but then you ain't got
the money to pay.
201
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:53,571
Try me.
What do you have to lose?
202
00:12:53,638 --> 00:12:56,907
Well, if that's the only way
you'll take a no, all right. I'll throw figures at you.
203
00:12:56,975 --> 00:13:00,911
I could say-- I could say,
what, uh, $35,000.
204
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:03,280
"Old-say."
Huh?
205
00:13:03,348 --> 00:13:05,349
Sold.
206
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:19,897
I don't believe it!
$35,000 for this house?
207
00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:23,868
Uh, Mr. byrd,
what my son-in-law means is that for all we know...
208
00:13:23,935 --> 00:13:26,470
This house could maybe
be worth a lot more.
209
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:30,674
Would you sit down there,
Michael, please?
210
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:35,345
Don't get me wrong, Mr. byrd.
$35,000 is pretty good as a startin' figure.
211
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:39,216
Oh, come on, Mr. bunker.
Let's be up front with each other.
212
00:13:39,284 --> 00:13:43,621
Your house is only
worth $35,000 to me. I'll tell you why.
213
00:13:43,688 --> 00:13:48,058
You see, it's just that
black people can't get into neighborhoods like this.
214
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:50,961
Now, there are a lot of houses
just like yours on the block.
215
00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:54,765
So if you don't
want to sell, I'm sure one of your neighbors will.
216
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:58,602
After that, when a few more
black families move in, [ Chuckles ]
217
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:02,473
Your house is gonna be
worth less-- a lot less.
218
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,475
Blockbuster!
What?
219
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,277
Archie, this guy's
a blockbuster! Oh, will you sit down!
220
00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:10,981
He buys one or two houses
at a top price and gets the rest at rock bottom.
221
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:13,283
It's free enterprise, boy,
and I'm a business man.
222
00:14:13,351 --> 00:14:16,386
Yeah! It's a rotten business!
Archie, don't you see?
223
00:14:16,455 --> 00:14:19,590
He buys homes from whites
and then takes advantage of his own people...
224
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,726
By selling to them
for two or three times what a house is worth.
225
00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:25,729
You know, Mr. bunker,
your son-in-law reminds me of my kid brother.
226
00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:28,332
Head in the clouds. No idea
what it takes to get along in the world.
227
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,468
Meathead, huh?
Exactly.
228
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:33,504
Archie, don't you see
what he's doing? Will you sit down!
229
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:36,607
But, Archie--
well, what do you say, Mr. bunker?
230
00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:39,376
Do we have a deal at 35?
I've got the papers right here.
231
00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:41,545
Yes. Right there.
Good.
232
00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:44,314
That'll be just fine.
Edith, get away from me.
233
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:47,150
Here's a pen.Archie.
234
00:14:47,218 --> 00:14:50,120
Owww!
235
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:55,860
What are you doing
to my arm? I gotta speak to you, Archie.
236
00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:59,196
Mr. byrd, I'd like to talk
to my husband for a minute.
237
00:14:59,263 --> 00:15:01,365
Is that all right?
Go right ahead.
238
00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:05,503
What is the matter with you?
Archie, I don't think we should sell the house.
239
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,605
What? For $35,000?
240
00:15:07,672 --> 00:15:10,374
But I'm not sure
I want to move to California.
241
00:15:10,441 --> 00:15:15,145
$35,000. $35,000!
Archie, I don't--
242
00:15:19,384 --> 00:15:22,019
we may never get a chance
like this again, Edith.
243
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:25,489
And listen,
it ain't just the money. You'll love it out there.
244
00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:27,491
Just imagine yourself
all year long...
245
00:15:27,559 --> 00:15:30,327
Runnin' around
with just a blouse and a pair of pants.
246
00:15:30,395 --> 00:15:33,898
But you don't like me
in pants, Archie.
247
00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:36,600
Out there
I'll like you in pants.
248
00:15:36,668 --> 00:15:39,436
But we're rushing into it,
Archie.
249
00:15:39,504 --> 00:15:43,641
Can't we sit down
and talk it over? No! I wanna make this deal!
250
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:45,643
No! Mr. byrd,
Edith!
251
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:49,046
We would like to sit down
and talk this over as a family.
252
00:15:49,113 --> 00:15:51,849
Is that all right?
Sure. I understand.
253
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,785
I'll sit in my car
until you're ready. Oh, thank you.
254
00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,320
Wait a minute there,
Mr. byrd. Uh, listen.
255
00:15:57,388 --> 00:16:00,490
Don't worry about this here.
You and me is gonna do business. Good. Good.
256
00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:04,562
Oh, and by the way, when
you come back, this door ain't such a good idea comin' in.
257
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:07,464
If you could--
sure. Sure.
258
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:10,768
I understand.
I'll go around to the-- to the back door?
259
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:14,705
Yeah. Because, you know,
these nosy neighbors, watchin' everything on the street, see?
260
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:17,041
Sure. I understand.
All right. I'll see you, Mr. bunker.
261
00:16:17,108 --> 00:16:20,310
Yeah. When you sit in
your car, keep your head down, huh?
262
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:26,383
Archie--
don't argue with me, nobody! I'm gonna
263
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:30,187
Call Rudy in California.
On the phone?
264
00:16:30,254 --> 00:16:34,024
No, Edith. Open up
the window and holler. Get him on the phone.
265
00:16:34,092 --> 00:16:36,293
Archie, how can you sell
to a blockbuster?
266
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,196
Daddy, think of what
you're doing to those poor black families.
267
00:16:39,263 --> 00:16:41,599
What is the matter with you
two bleedin' heart liberals?
268
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:45,102
See what I'm doin'?
I'm givin' a family of deservin' coloreds a chance to move...
269
00:16:45,169 --> 00:16:48,038
Into a decent neighborhood,
away from their own kind.
270
00:16:48,106 --> 00:16:50,040
And youse two here
are fightin' me.
271
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,242
Yeah, that's right. 'Cause it's
your pocketbook that's talkin'.
272
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,311
You couldn't care less
about helpin' blacks.
273
00:16:54,378 --> 00:16:57,715
- Archie, it's ringin'.
- The two of youse, just butt out of this thing.
274
00:16:57,782 --> 00:17:02,086
And, Edith, no more arguments
out of you. Give me the phone. All of youse, dummy up.
275
00:17:02,153 --> 00:17:07,658
[ Clears throat ]
Hello. Rudy? Hey, this is cousin Archie in New York.
276
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:12,730
Yeah. How are you? Hey,
how's the weather out there?
277
00:17:12,797 --> 00:17:16,900
Oh, 85 degrees?
Oh, beautiful!
278
00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:20,904
Hey, Rudy, the reason
I called is, I got a chance today to sell the house.
279
00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:24,174
Yeah, sure. Maybe I'll make
20,000 profit or more.
280
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:27,011
Pretty good, huh?Hey, listen.
281
00:17:27,078 --> 00:17:29,513
If I close the deal,
sell the house and get the cash,
282
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:32,082
and if I can come out there
to California, could you--
283
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:35,653
huh? You what? You could?
284
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:39,289
Oh, geez!
Oh, boy, that's great!
285
00:17:39,357 --> 00:17:42,492
Hey, Rudy, you're a peach.
Wait till I tell Edith.
286
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,929
Hey, listen.
I'll call you back. I'm gonna close the deal any minute.
287
00:17:45,997 --> 00:17:49,299
You hang around by the phone,
huh? Okay, Rudy. Bye.
288
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:53,336
Now that clinches it.
Not only has Rudy got a job waitin' for me out there,
289
00:17:53,404 --> 00:17:56,640
but he's gonna let us all
stay in his beautiful home till we find a place of our own.
290
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:59,543
But, Archie, I thought
we were gonna talk it over.
291
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:01,578
What else is there
to talk over, Edith?
292
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:03,446
What kind of job
are you gonna get?
293
00:18:03,514 --> 00:18:07,017
It ain't a job, it's a position.
Rudy owns a factory out there.
294
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:10,988
- Practically offered me
a partnership just now. - Daddy, why should he do that?
295
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:14,224
Cousin Rudy's almost
a stranger. He's never even been to the house.
296
00:18:14,292 --> 00:18:16,860
'Cause he's been out in
California makin' a fortune.
297
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:21,431
He's a smart young guy.
Edith, tell 'em about Rudy. Where the hell are ya?
298
00:18:21,499 --> 00:18:24,702
What are you doin' over here?
We're talkin' about California there.
299
00:18:24,769 --> 00:18:28,706
I'm just lookin' where
we used to measure Gloria.
300
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:34,178
Here she is at eleven,
and here she is at two. Remember?
301
00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:37,247
Will you stop swingin'
down memory Lane!
302
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:40,483
These things don't mean
nothin'. We got a new future waitin' for us.
303
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:44,121
Get away from the closet here.
Where you goin' now?
304
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,423
I'm gonna miss these stairs.
305
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:50,761
Remember how beautiful
Gloria looked...
306
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:54,531
The day of her wedding,
coming down those steps?
307
00:18:54,599 --> 00:18:58,235
And how do you feel
goin' up and down them steps all day long, Edith?
308
00:18:58,302 --> 00:19:00,437
In California, you ain't
gonna have to do that.
309
00:19:00,504 --> 00:19:05,275
Everything's on one level.
They ain't got a flight of stairs in the state.
310
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:11,381
What about all our things?
What about it, Edith?
311
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:14,785
Look at it. It's all crummy.
We're gonna sell the whole lot here.
312
00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:18,722
All except my own chair
here, which is kind of a one-of-a-kind chair.
313
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:23,093
- [ Sobbing ]
- Edith, don't startbawling now.
314
00:19:23,161 --> 00:19:28,098
I can't help it, Archie.
I'm used to this house.
315
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:32,069
And now I'll have to go
to someplace strange...
316
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:35,705
And get used
to everything new.
317
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:40,410
And wear pants!
[ Sobbing ]
318
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:47,084
Will you explain your mother
to me? There she goes bawlin'. [ Doorbell buzzing ]
319
00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:50,087
Five minutes ago,
she's reachin' out the window for oranges.
320
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:53,757
You'd never understand it.
Oh, hi, Lionel. Hey. How's it goin'?
321
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:57,261
Hiya, Lionel. Come on in.
I got some big news for you.
322
00:19:57,328 --> 00:20:00,230
You're gonna have
some new friends. Some coloreds are movin' in.
323
00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:03,233
No! Where?
Right here in this house.
324
00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:05,669
They're gonna
move in with you?
325
00:20:05,736 --> 00:20:09,339
Oh, not that, Lionel.
I mean they're gonna move here after I leave.
326
00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:12,042
I'm gonna sell 'em
the house. Oh.
327
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:15,045
You wouldn't happen
to be selling to a Mr. byrd, would you?
328
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:17,414
You know the guy?
Yeah, I know him.
329
00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:19,349
He's what we call
an oreo cookie.
330
00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,751
An oreo cookie?
331
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:26,256
Yeah. You know,
black on the outside, white on the inside.
332
00:20:26,324 --> 00:20:29,893
Oh. Yeah.
333
00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:33,864
I'm glad you like him.
I thought he was a decent guy too.
334
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,433
Yeah, I figured you would.
335
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,670
[ Doorbell buzzing ]Excuse me, Lionel. There he is.I'm off to California.
336
00:20:40,738 --> 00:20:44,774
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You goin' to California? Yeah.
337
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:48,212
Oh, you ain't
gonna be happy there. Why not?
338
00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:51,281
Well, California's
right next door to watts.
339
00:20:54,719 --> 00:20:57,921
Archie,
Mr. byrd is here.
340
00:20:57,989 --> 00:21:00,891
Oh, here we are.
Welcome back, Mr. byrd. Are you ready to sign?
341
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,460
I certainly am.
Good, good. I have the papers right here.
342
00:21:03,527 --> 00:21:06,864
Let's close this deal.
Archie, before you sign, can I say something?
343
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:09,199
Aw, make it fast,
will you, Edith?
344
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:14,071
Archie, I'm your wife,
and I've always done what you wanted...
345
00:21:14,138 --> 00:21:16,907
Even when you were
wrong, like now.
346
00:21:18,376 --> 00:21:21,444
Whatever you do,
I'll go along with you.
347
00:21:21,512 --> 00:21:23,546
You're gonna love it,
Edith.
348
00:21:23,614 --> 00:21:27,317
But I'm not leavin'
my five-quart casserole...
349
00:21:27,385 --> 00:21:29,953
No matter what you say!
350
00:21:30,021 --> 00:21:33,823
Give me the contract
and the pen. Where do I sign?
351
00:21:33,892 --> 00:21:36,894
- Right here.
- Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?
352
00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:41,899
Is that Bertha over there?
Hiya, Bertha! Come on in! Archie!
353
00:21:41,966 --> 00:21:46,303
Come on over there
and sit down. Hey, Edith, come and see who's here.
354
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,939
Hey, did you get the news
from Rudy in California?
355
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:52,376
I just got off the phone
with him, and I ran all the way over here.
356
00:21:52,443 --> 00:21:54,844
Cousin Bertha,
how are you?
357
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:58,515
Oh, Edith. I know
he never would've done it without your support.
358
00:21:58,582 --> 00:22:02,085
Thank you.
Is Rudy happy I'm comin' out to California?
359
00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:05,222
Happy? He's delirious.
[ Laughing ]
360
00:22:05,290 --> 00:22:08,758
Oh, I tell you,
he just said last week,
361
00:22:08,826 --> 00:22:12,930
if he could only get ahold
of $20,000, he could get his head above water.
362
00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:18,468
I tell you, Archie,
he's been sinkin', goin' down for the third time.
363
00:22:18,536 --> 00:22:22,072
Well, you remember my boy Rudy--
nothin' worked for him here.
364
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:25,342
Well, the same thing out there.
Every time he opens a business,
365
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,945
his first customer
is the sheriff.
366
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:32,983
Bankruptcy. And his own brother
wouldn't even loan him a dime.
367
00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:36,853
His Uncle George,
worth a fortune, wouldn't even come to the phone.
368
00:22:36,921 --> 00:22:39,522
Oh, Archie,
369
00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:43,427
you're givin' him another
chance with your $20,000.
370
00:22:45,463 --> 00:22:49,232
Oh, Archie,
I can just see it-- the two of you together.
371
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:52,502
You'll be the father
he's always needed.
372
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,574
I've gotta go, Archie.
373
00:22:57,641 --> 00:23:02,079
Honest, Rudy is so excited,
he can't wait till you get out there.
374
00:23:02,146 --> 00:23:06,049
He's getting the garage
all fixed up for you to live in.
375
00:23:12,223 --> 00:23:14,224
Well, Mr. bunker,
shall we get on with it?
376
00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:17,694
Well, Mr. byrd, I think
before we get any deeper in this,
377
00:23:17,761 --> 00:23:19,963
I'd better consider my wife's
feelings a little more.
378
00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:22,966
But I just heard her say
she was willing to go along with you.
379
00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,535
Yeah, but then we got...
My son-in-law here.
380
00:23:25,603 --> 00:23:29,039
He don't adjust too easy.
He can't be moved.
381
00:23:29,107 --> 00:23:32,142
Mr. bunker, you're wasting
my time. Is it yes or no? No.
382
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:35,012
Well, I'll just have to talk
with some of your neighbors.
383
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:39,016
I don't think that's
gonna do you any good, Mr. byrd. They ain't gonna sell to you.
384
00:23:39,083 --> 00:23:42,886
I think you'll find
that all of my neighbors is just about like me.
385
00:23:42,953 --> 00:23:45,155
They're all just like you, huh?
[ Chuckles ]
386
00:23:45,223 --> 00:23:49,393
That's what
I'm countin' on. Bye.
387
00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:53,430
Oh, I don't like
the sound of that. Archie, where are you goin'?
388
00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:57,867
Oh, the meathead was right.
That guy is a "blackbuster."
389
00:23:59,470 --> 00:24:02,172
I want you to call
all the neighbors. Tell them I'm comin' over.
390
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,941
I'm startin' with Jimmy mcnab.
That money-hungry Mick.
391
00:24:05,009 --> 00:24:08,278
He'd sell his own mother
for $35,000.
392
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:10,780
So would most of the people
on this here block.
393
00:24:10,848 --> 00:24:13,450
There's not a one of them with
enough strength of character...
394
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:16,119
To stand up to that guy
like I done.
395
00:24:21,825 --> 00:24:24,928
I've never been
this hot in my life.
396
00:24:24,995 --> 00:24:27,931
Oh, boy, Archie,
what's with that furnace?
397
00:24:27,998 --> 00:24:32,735
Aw, nuts to you.
Can't you see me workin' on the thermostat here?
398
00:24:32,803 --> 00:24:36,239
Well, hurry it up.
I'm sweatin' my brains out here.
399
00:24:36,307 --> 00:24:39,309
You done that
when you was in diapers.
400
00:24:41,579 --> 00:24:43,746
Aw, geez!
401
00:24:43,814 --> 00:24:45,882
Well, there it goes!
402
00:24:45,950 --> 00:24:49,219
It's your fault for complainin'
about the heat around here.
403
00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:52,055
Now I'm gonna have to get
a service man in tomorrow.
404
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:54,624
It's gonna cost me
an arm and a leg.
405
00:24:54,692 --> 00:24:56,859
Here we are.
This'll cool us off.
406
00:24:56,927 --> 00:25:00,930
Ice-cold lemonade.
There.
407
00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:06,136
Ain't this nice?
Just like California.
408
00:25:06,204 --> 00:25:10,873
Will you please
stifle yourself?
409
00:25:31,061 --> 00:25:35,465
[ Announcer ]
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410
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