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[ Announcer ]
From television city in Hollywood.
2
00:00:04,937 --> 00:00:08,006
♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
3
00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:11,710
♪ songs that made
the hit parade ♪
4
00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:15,580
♪ guys like us
we had it made ♪
5
00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:18,783
[ together ]
♪ those were the days ♪
6
00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:23,888
♪ and you knew
where you were then ♪
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00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:27,659
[ Archie ]
♪ girls were girls and men were men ♪
8
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:29,961
[ Archie, Edith ]
♪ mister, we could use a man ♪
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00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:34,265
♪ like Herbert hoover again ♪
10
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,568
[ Archie ]
♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪
11
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:41,405
[ Edith ]
♪ everybody pulled his weight ♪
12
00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:45,409
[ Archie, Edith ]
♪ gee, our old lasalle ran great ♪
13
00:00:45,477 --> 00:00:51,449
♪ those were the days ♪
14
00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:07,431
[ raspberries ]
15
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,403
What's this country
coming to, anyhow ?
16
00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:15,006
What is it, Archie ?
Bad news ? What else ?
17
00:01:15,074 --> 00:01:17,008
We get out of Vietnam
or somethin' ?
18
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,112
Don't be
a wise guy, huh ?
19
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,247
It's them tamale eaters
out there in Los Angeles.
20
00:01:23,315 --> 00:01:26,384
They're riotin'
and fightin' with them poor cops again.
21
00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:28,553
What do them
people want, anyhow ?
22
00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:32,323
Well, for one thing,
they don't want to be called "tamale eaters."
23
00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:34,893
Just look at
that picture there. Look at them.
24
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,496
Throwin' bricks
and bottles. It's like a regular "insurruption."
25
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:41,032
They like to be called
"chicanos," all right ?
26
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:45,036
Aw, who cares ?
What's in a name, anyhow, huh ?
27
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:47,538
In my day, nobody went around
callin' themselves chicanos,
28
00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:49,674
Mexican-Americans,
afro-Americans.
29
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:51,843
We was all Americans !
30
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:55,847
After that, if a guy
was a jig or a spick, it was his own business.
31
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,051
What do you mean,
"it was his own business" ?
32
00:02:00,119 --> 00:02:02,053
Certainly it was
his own business.
33
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:05,556
If he wanted to hang out
with his own crowd-- which most of them did--
34
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,592
that's how you got
your chinatowns, your harlems,
35
00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:09,594
your little Italy,
all them other "grettoes."
36
00:02:09,661 --> 00:02:12,997
So it's their fault
that you call 'em those names ?
37
00:02:13,065 --> 00:02:15,600
It ain't my fault, meathead.
38
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,837
What's on
the idiot box ?
39
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:22,006
It's only an idiot box
if an idiot is watching it.
40
00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,343
So don't peek.
41
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:29,147
[ Tv announcer ]
A boy needs your friendship-- what do you got circled here ?
42
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,784
"Pat o'brien in
the knute rockne story." Again ?
43
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,554
Here we are !
Ah. Hi.
44
00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:39,190
About time youse
come waltzin' in. Where youse been, anyhow ?
45
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:43,561
Oh, we got back in time.
He's still in one of his good moods.
46
00:02:43,629 --> 00:02:45,563
No, I ain't.
47
00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:48,900
I wake up here
on a Saturday morning, I'm all alone.
48
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:51,736
There's no note,
there's no nothin', there's nobody here.
49
00:02:51,804 --> 00:02:55,940
- Mike was home.
- Like I said, there was nobody here.
50
00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:00,945
On top of that, there ain't
a scrap of food to eat in the house.
51
00:03:01,013 --> 00:03:04,048
Oh, I made you
a liverwurst and cheese with some potato salad.
52
00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,985
It was right in the icebox.
53
00:03:07,052 --> 00:03:10,521
Oh. Was that for Archie ?
54
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,025
You know something,
Gloria ?
55
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:16,795
This husband of yours,
he eats like a government mule.
56
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:19,864
All right, Archie,
I'll fix you something to eat.
57
00:03:19,932 --> 00:03:23,334
But first Gloria has
some wonderful news.
58
00:03:23,402 --> 00:03:25,436
We went to the doc--
all right, Edith, not now.
59
00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:27,438
The picture
just started, huh ?
60
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:30,441
Oh, that one you've seen
a hundred times.
61
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:34,012
That's the one
about the football coach, knute acne.
62
00:03:36,148 --> 00:03:39,017
Rockne, Edith, rockne,
and I ain't seen it a hundred times.
63
00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:41,452
I seen it maybe four times.
So leave me alone.
64
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:45,589
But, Archie, Gloria has
something to tell ya.
65
00:03:45,657 --> 00:03:47,658
Oh.
66
00:03:47,726 --> 00:03:49,694
Michael ?
Yeah ?
67
00:03:49,761 --> 00:03:52,763
Mom and I went to
the doctor this morning. For her or for you ?
68
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,633
For me. Would you
please close that ? I wanna talk to you.
69
00:03:55,701 --> 00:03:58,336
You know I can't
walk by a refrigerator without gettin' something.
70
00:03:58,403 --> 00:04:01,105
I don't want you
to get something now. Give me that celery.
71
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:03,674
No, no, no.
Let's talk. All right, what is it ?
72
00:04:03,742 --> 00:04:06,711
You went to the doctor,
and it was for you, it wasn't for your mother,
73
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:10,048
and you got
a big surprise. The biggest.
74
00:04:10,115 --> 00:04:12,350
Michael...
75
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,518
I'm gonna have--
wait.
76
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,556
I think I know
what the big surprise is.
77
00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:21,525
Do you think you could
hold off telling me for just a second ?
78
00:04:21,593 --> 00:04:25,230
But why ?
I'm trying to think if it could be anything else.
79
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:31,669
Like what ?
Like you found a purse in the doctor's office...
80
00:04:31,737 --> 00:04:34,372
With $300,000 in it.
81
00:04:34,439 --> 00:04:38,076
Then you gave the money
back to the lady. She was so happy, she gave you half.
82
00:04:38,143 --> 00:04:40,778
Is that it ? It's not it ?
Is it close ? No.
83
00:04:40,846 --> 00:04:43,414
Please tell me it's close.
84
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:47,151
Oh, gee, Gloria !
Oh, what a thing !
85
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:50,154
Oh, what am I gonna do ?
I-I can't take care of you !
86
00:04:50,222 --> 00:04:52,857
I can't take care
of a kid. I don't have a job.
87
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:55,159
I'm in college !
I don't even have an apartment !
88
00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:58,930
- Well, Michael--
- I know. You don't have an apartment either !
89
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,632
Why do things
get turned around like this ?
90
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,168
[ Groaning ]I come home to tell youI'm having a baby,
91
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:06,570
and suddenly it's become
a whole other event !
92
00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:09,274
No, Gloria, it's--
it's not another event.
93
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:11,910
It-- it's the same event.
It's the same event.
94
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:14,712
It's a blessed event.
Here, sit down.
95
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:17,481
I'm supposed to
tell you to sit down.
96
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:20,618
I saw that in the movies
a hundred times. They always tell the per--
97
00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:22,921
oh, what am I doin' ?
I'm making it worse.
98
00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:24,956
I'm sorry, Gloria.
I made you miserable.
99
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,358
Oh, Michael.
Don't worry about it.
100
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:32,230
I know we can make it. Lots of
other young couples have babies while they're going to school.
101
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:34,999
There'll be plenty of time
to support us later.
102
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,735
[ Moaning ]
103
00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:40,771
Oh, I'm sorry.
104
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,840
Oh--
oh, don't mind me.
105
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:46,277
You two just go right ahead
with what you were doing.
106
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:49,747
While I think of it,
I wanna move some things here.
107
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:53,584
- What are you doing, mom ?
- Some of these cleaning fluids are poison.
108
00:05:53,652 --> 00:05:56,154
You gotta keep 'em
out of a child's reach.
109
00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:03,394
All right,
what are youse doin' in there ?
110
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:05,663
You got somethin' to tell me.
Come on, huh ?
111
00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:09,000
You got a station break,
a public service announcement, a commercial coming up,
112
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:11,069
so let's go, go, go !
113
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:17,008
Archie's ready.
We got 60 seconds.
114
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:21,012
[ Giggling ] I can hardly
wait to see his face ! I can.
115
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,283
Mike, Archie's gonna be
as excited about it as you are.
116
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,385
That's what I'm afraid of.
117
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,854
Come on, come on, come on.
What's the news ?
118
00:06:29,921 --> 00:06:33,358
Well, what do
you think, daddy ?
119
00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:36,160
What do I think ?
120
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:39,563
When I see you
smilin' that way with all them nice, straight white teeth,
121
00:06:39,631 --> 00:06:42,733
I think of $316 bucks
it cost me for braces.
122
00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:45,536
[ Laughing ]
123
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:49,740
When I see Edith smilin'
the same way, well, I figure it's gotta be gas.
124
00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:59,783
As for this guy here, I think
his underwear's too tight.
125
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,056
Wrong on all counts !
126
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,858
If you're through, daddy,
we wanna tell you the surprise now--
127
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:10,761
something I heard you
talk about a hundred times.
128
00:07:10,829 --> 00:07:12,963
You and the meathead
got yourselves your own apartment.
129
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:15,566
No, daddy.
No, mom and I went to the doctor--
130
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:18,769
Archie, what if I
was to tell you...
131
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:22,540
That I think you're going
to have the little boy...
132
00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:25,843
You always wanted ?
133
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,659
Holy cow, Edith !
Can't you do nothin' right ?
134
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:50,535
For heaven's sakes,
daddy, it's not mother who's expecting, it's me !
135
00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:53,637
Yeah, Gloria's
gonna have a baby !
136
00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:55,973
You're gonna be
a grandpa !
137
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:59,977
Oh, daddy !
Oh ! [ Laughing ]
138
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:04,248
Oh, Gloria !
[ Laughs ] Oh ! Mom !
139
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:07,685
Oh, my little girl !
[ Laughing ]
140
00:08:13,658 --> 00:08:19,397
[ Laughing ] Oh, Gloria,
it's gonna be wonderful, and so convenient.
141
00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:22,866
Why, we can take care of
the 2:00 A.M. feeding.
142
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:25,570
With your room
right next to ours,
143
00:08:25,637 --> 00:08:29,073
why, we'll be sure
to hear the baby cry.
144
00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:34,645
And if you're
too tired,
145
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:37,148
why, I can
get up, huh ?
146
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:40,818
You can just
knock on the wall. You're so thoughtful, mom.
147
00:08:40,885 --> 00:08:42,820
And baby-sitters.
148
00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:45,189
Oh, you got
built-in baby-sitters,
149
00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:47,858
practically
seven nights a week.
150
00:08:47,926 --> 00:08:49,927
[ Chuckling ]
151
00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:56,334
Archie never takes me anywhere
anyway.
152
00:08:56,401 --> 00:08:59,270
So it'll give us
something to do.
153
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:04,041
Oh, we might need
another refrigerator for all the extra baby things.
154
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:06,677
Oh, no. We'll have
plenty of room.
155
00:09:06,745 --> 00:09:09,013
We'll just take
the beer outta there.
156
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,116
[ Edith ]
Come on.
157
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,118
Come on.
I'll show ya.
158
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:17,488
Oh, it's a miracle,
ain't it, Archie ?
159
00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:20,691
"A miracle" !
160
00:09:20,759 --> 00:09:24,728
You give my daughter a baby,
and you can't even support a goldfish.
161
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:28,899
Archie, my reaction
was the same as yours.
162
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,135
It was, huh ?
163
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:34,004
Well, when are you
gonna help me choke you ?
164
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,074
I-I'm tellin' you, Archie.
165
00:09:37,142 --> 00:09:39,310
I'm as worried
about this as you are.
166
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:41,712
That ain't good enough !
You gotta be worried more !
167
00:09:42,847 --> 00:09:44,848
When I married Edith,
when we had Gloria,
168
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:48,486
I not only had
an apartment and a job but 925 bucks in the bank !
169
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,555
I know, I know,
but what do you want ?
170
00:09:50,622 --> 00:09:53,123
It's just one
of those things. "Just one of those things."
171
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:56,126
I might have known
it was gonna happen the way you carry on !
172
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:59,863
You're always pinchin'
and touchin' each other like you was pickin' fruit !
173
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:03,867
Your whole generation
does nothin' but think with its glands !
174
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:06,070
All right,
that's it, that's it !
175
00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:08,472
When I first
found out about it, I was feelin' guilty.
176
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,242
But after listenin'
to you, I'm startin' to feel damn proud !
177
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:14,245
"Proud" ? Can you
put proud in the bank ?
178
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,780
How you gonna
support that baby ? I can do it.
179
00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:19,483
I'm not set up to
'cause I'm in school. I could be workin'.
180
00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,552
Workin' ? You ?
Yeah !
181
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:25,223
I'll believe that
when the 59th street bridge grows leaves.
182
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,958
You start believin' it
right now, pal,
183
00:10:28,026 --> 00:10:29,960
because that's it,
I'm quittin' school !
184
00:10:30,028 --> 00:10:32,062
Quitting school ?
Michael, no ! No, no.
185
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:34,398
I'm getting a job
and taking care of you myself.
186
00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:37,635
I think I know where
I can get an apartment. But you can't quit school.
187
00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:40,471
You've gotta get your degree.
It's important to your future.
188
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,241
Archie, you gotta put
a stop to that right now.
189
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:46,310
I've heard
this song and dance before. If they wanna go, let 'em go.
190
00:10:46,378 --> 00:10:50,914
But they can't leave.
The doctor says she ain't gonna have an easy time.
191
00:10:50,982 --> 00:10:53,551
The doctor should have
told that to him !
192
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:56,554
Oh, but, Archie,
we gotta stick by 'em,
193
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,656
at least until
Mike graduates.
194
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,425
A boy today
needs a degree...
195
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:03,561
If he's gonna
get anywhere.
196
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:06,264
I never had no degree,
and I always held up my end.
197
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,634
Well, it might have been
higher with a degree.
198
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,636
What ?
Your end.
199
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:14,405
Stop torturing me,
will ya, Edith !
200
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:18,342
Oh, I-I thought
I knew you, Archie bunker,
201
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:23,046
but I never thought
you'd act this way about your own grandchild.
202
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:26,150
Come on, Edith.
Now, don't make me out no monster, huh ?
203
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,653
I'm tryin' to think of the way
they're hurtin' themselves.
204
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,688
I'm tryin' to think of
the financials of this thing.
205
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,790
Oh, you know
what I think ?
206
00:11:32,857 --> 00:11:35,359
I think you don't want
a baby around the house.
207
00:11:35,427 --> 00:11:37,528
You don't like babies !
208
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,764
That's a lie.
209
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:45,503
When Gloria was a baby
and cryin' in the middle of the night, who got up ?
210
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:48,773
I did.
I mean after that.
211
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,542
When she was cryin'
four or five times during the night.
212
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:56,146
I did.
Well, who said, "Edith, Edith, the baby's cryin'" ?
213
00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:58,916
That was you.
214
00:11:58,983 --> 00:12:03,721
All right,
that's what I'm sayin'. I was up as often as you.
215
00:12:05,223 --> 00:12:07,858
He did it ! He did it !
Michael got us an apartment !
216
00:12:07,926 --> 00:12:09,927
A friend of his
got transferred to Detroit,
217
00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:12,763
and we get the first
two months' rent free !
218
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:16,300
And he's gonna get a job,
and he's going to night school,
219
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,602
and I hope
I have triplets !
220
00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:26,043
She means it !
Aren't you gonna do nothin' ?
221
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:28,245
You can't let 'em
leave here !
222
00:12:28,313 --> 00:12:30,848
I ain't gonna worry
about it, Edith !
223
00:12:30,915 --> 00:12:34,418
'Cause I don't believe
they're goin' nowheres.
224
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:36,487
Ohh. Ohh !
225
00:12:51,636 --> 00:12:53,571
[ Knocking ]
226
00:12:53,638 --> 00:12:55,840
Oh, come in, Lionel.
Morning, Mrs. bunker.
227
00:12:55,907 --> 00:12:58,242
Want some coffee ?
Oh, fine. Thanks.
228
00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:00,244
What brings you here
so early ?
229
00:13:00,311 --> 00:13:02,346
Oh, I just brought
something by for Gloria.
230
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,749
Oh, how nice !
231
00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,751
When mom heard Gloria
was havin' a hard time,
232
00:13:06,818 --> 00:13:08,753
she figured this
would be just the thing.
233
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:12,055
I thought I'd bring it by
on my way to school. Smells like chicken soup.
234
00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:15,526
It is.
Mom's a great believer in chicken soup.
235
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,429
Doesn't that--
doesn't that strike you funny ?
236
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:22,767
No. Why ?
She ain't Jewish.
237
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:29,172
Well, I ain't Jewish,
and I'm a great believer in chicken soup.
238
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,076
You know,
I wonder how chicken soup came to be theirs.
239
00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:40,651
Beats me. You know,
my dad often wonders how pork chops got to be ours.
240
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:47,024
I'm dyin' for coffee, Edith,
so get with it, huh ? Hiya, Lionel.
241
00:13:47,091 --> 00:13:49,293
How ya doin' ?
What are you doin' here so early ?
242
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,229
Lionel's mother
heard that Gloria wasn't feelin' too good,
243
00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:55,365
so she sent over
some food-- a nice pot of--
244
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,601
don't tell me,
don't tell me. Let me guess.
245
00:13:57,669 --> 00:14:00,538
Pork chops.
246
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:05,876
That's right. We was gonna
bring watermelon too, but they's outta season.
247
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:09,480
Sit down,
Lionel.
248
00:14:10,982 --> 00:14:12,917
Hey, Lionel.
How ya doin' ?
249
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:17,321
Hey, Archie,
did you switch from a brush to a spray can shaving cream ?
250
00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:19,790
I did.
What's it to ya ? Oh, nothin'.
251
00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:23,160
Except the spray can you bought
looked a lot like my deodorant.
252
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,297
Oh, now don't tell me
that you--
253
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:34,338
last week, I reached for
the liquid hair net,
254
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:37,541
and I sprayed my head
with room deodorizer.
255
00:14:39,811 --> 00:14:44,448
All day long
I reminded myself of the great outdoors.
256
00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:50,120
I told you
before, Edith.
257
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:53,123
You gotta do somethin'
about all them spray cans in that bathroom.
258
00:14:53,191 --> 00:14:56,159
I know.
This sounds just like my house.
259
00:14:56,227 --> 00:14:59,463
Oh, yeah ? And how
do you people handle a problem like that, Lionel ?
260
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:01,499
Spray cans, you know ?
261
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,634
I mean, with eight people
usin' an apartment-- families--
262
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,769
and 20 people
sharin' a bathroom now ?
263
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:08,706
Oh, well, first,
it's only four families to an apartment,
264
00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:11,642
and only 16 people
sharin' a bathroom.
265
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,879
And, anyway, what we do
is we take all our spray cans...
266
00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:17,414
And shove 'em
onto special shelves.
267
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:21,318
So, what you could do is...
Shove yours.
268
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:37,501
You know, a guy could
take that two ways.
269
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:43,340
Yeah, but knowin' Lionel,
I think he only meant it one way.
270
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:46,577
Oh, yeah.
He's a good kid.
271
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:53,717
Archie, when are you gonna
talk to Mike about stayin' ?
272
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,719
I don't know, Edith.
Maybe today.
273
00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:57,755
Oh, now, you been
sayin' that all week,
274
00:15:57,822 --> 00:16:00,891
and three days from now
they're movin' outta here.
275
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:03,694
Edith, I'll talk to him
when I talk to him. When ?
276
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,328
Before.
Before what ?
277
00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:07,731
Before they leave.
But I don't want 'em to leave.
278
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:10,701
Will you stifle that ?
Now leave me alone.
279
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,703
Talkin' about that.
Get your mind over here.
280
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:15,072
What kind of sausages
you makin', anyhow ?
281
00:16:15,139 --> 00:16:17,875
The kind you like.
Link sausage.
282
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:20,143
With pancakes,
I like Patty.
283
00:16:20,211 --> 00:16:22,145
I was sure it was link.
284
00:16:22,213 --> 00:16:24,147
No, Edith, Patty.
285
00:16:24,215 --> 00:16:27,451
Oh, in coffee shops,
maybe a thousand times,
286
00:16:27,518 --> 00:16:29,453
I've heard you
order link.
287
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,056
No, Edith,
always Patty.
288
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:37,461
And I was so sure
it was link.
289
00:16:37,528 --> 00:16:42,132
Edith, I'm gonna say Patty
just one more time, and that's it ! Patty.
290
00:16:43,334 --> 00:16:45,469
Now don't say link no more.
291
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:48,872
Don't even think link, huh ?
292
00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:56,313
Hey. Gloria, did-- didn't
the doctor say you should spend at least half the day in bed ?
293
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:59,316
Oh, not today, Michael.
I feel super. Mmm.
294
00:16:59,383 --> 00:17:01,652
[ Hiccup ]
Hey. Hey.
295
00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:05,723
I think
I felt it kick. Oh, no, Michael.
296
00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:08,325
It's only been six weeks.
[ Hiccup ] Oh.
297
00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:12,162
Some father.
I can't tell a hiccup from a baby kick.
298
00:17:12,230 --> 00:17:14,431
[ Doorbell ringing ]
299
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:19,469
Mona !
Gloria ! How are you ?
300
00:17:19,537 --> 00:17:21,905
I went to see Dr. Otto
yesterday for my weekly.
301
00:17:21,973 --> 00:17:25,275
He told me the news.
That's fantastic ! I know.
302
00:17:25,343 --> 00:17:29,046
That's just great.
How come you're keepin' it such a secret ?
303
00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:33,951
Oh, congratulations, papa !
304
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,186
[ Chuckling ]
Oh.
305
00:17:36,254 --> 00:17:40,024
Breakfast is ready.
Oh, hello, Mona. I didn't know you were here.
306
00:17:40,091 --> 00:17:42,092
Oh, good morning,
Mrs. bunker.
307
00:17:46,197 --> 00:17:48,732
Will you have
some hotcakes with us? Oh, no.
308
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,734
I had a huge breakfast
this morning,
309
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:53,871
and then I stopped
for a sandwich and a malt on the way over.
310
00:17:53,938 --> 00:17:56,940
But I'll sit with you.
Morning, Mr. bunker. [ Edith ] Good.
311
00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:59,509
Hiya, Mona.
I see you're still walkin' around, huh ?
312
00:18:01,846 --> 00:18:05,282
Oh, you're so cute,
Mr. bunker, but then you always were.
313
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,086
You like pancakes,
huh, mone ?
314
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:12,355
I've been so hungry lately.
I just don't know what's gotten into me.
315
00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:14,424
[ Giggling ]
316
00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:20,964
Well, we can
all see what's goin' into you, mone.
317
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:26,036
Archie, this would be
a good time to talk to Mike.
318
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:30,540
Not now, Edith !
Link sausage. I love it. Thank you.
319
00:18:30,608 --> 00:18:34,912
Daddy loves it too.
Have some link sausage, daddy. What do you mean by that ?
320
00:18:34,979 --> 00:18:37,848
I mean, have some
link sausage. It's always been your favorite.
321
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,517
You put her up to that--
about the sausage. [ Edith ] I didn't.
322
00:18:40,585 --> 00:18:43,520
I never said that word.
I didn't even think "link."
323
00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:45,522
- Oh !
- You said it !
324
00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:48,792
You said it right now !
All right, that's it ! I'm gettin' outta here !
325
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:50,794
Oh, Archie,
you forgot something.
326
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:53,864
I didn't forget nothin'.
I'm gonna get my breakfast down at the diner.
327
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,566
You just don't wanna
talk to Mike.
328
00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:59,036
I can't now.
You made me leave.
329
00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:04,808
Gloria, I don't know
if I can do 'em on a full stomach,
330
00:19:04,876 --> 00:19:08,078
but I wanna show you
my natural childbirth exercises.
331
00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:10,214
You are going
for natural childbirth, aren't you ?
332
00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:13,250
Gee, I don't know.
Michael and I hadn't discussed it yet.
333
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:15,685
"Natural childbirth" ?
334
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:19,089
Oh. Isn't that
where you're wide awake,
335
00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:22,025
and you keep pushin' like
to help the doctors ?
336
00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:24,427
That's right.
Oh, I don't know.
337
00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,463
Gloria ain't too strong.
338
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:31,668
Oh, with all the money
you pay 'em, can't the doctors help themselves ?
339
00:19:34,338 --> 00:19:36,273
The thing about
natural childbirth is, ma,
340
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,376
that you get to see
your own baby being born.
341
00:19:39,443 --> 00:19:42,780
Yeah, ma, wouldn't you
have liked to have seen Gloria born ?
342
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:44,848
No.
343
00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:48,886
I'd be too scared.
344
00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:53,757
Do you know how old she was
before I even counted her toes ?
345
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,558
How old, ma ?
346
00:19:57,361 --> 00:20:00,831
[ Giggling ]
347
00:20:00,899 --> 00:20:04,201
Oh, it's-- it's too silly.
[ Giggling ]
348
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,971
[ Laughing ]
[ Giggling ]
349
00:20:12,777 --> 00:20:14,878
How old, ma ?
350
00:20:14,946 --> 00:20:16,980
[ Guffawing ]
351
00:20:22,053 --> 00:20:24,254
I-I--
[ Laughing ]
352
00:20:24,322 --> 00:20:27,925
I-- I haven't even
counted 'em yet !
353
00:20:31,529 --> 00:20:33,697
I counted 'em !
She has 12 !
354
00:20:33,764 --> 00:20:37,201
Twelve !
Now, that's very funny !
355
00:20:37,268 --> 00:20:40,770
You think that's funny ?
Seven of 'em are on one foot !
356
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:43,173
[ Laughing ]
357
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,777
[ Edith ] Gloria,what's the matter ?
358
00:20:47,846 --> 00:20:50,147
Hey.
Y-you okay ?
359
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,149
Something's wrong.
360
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,417
Uh, well, uh,
sit down. No !
361
00:20:54,485 --> 00:20:57,855
Mike, call the doctor.
It's there, right on the pad.
362
00:20:57,922 --> 00:21:00,557
Oh--
[ Sobbing ]
363
00:21:00,624 --> 00:21:03,426
[ Gloria crying ]
364
00:21:05,696 --> 00:21:08,365
Now, you're sure, doctor ?
You're sure she's gonna be okay ?
365
00:21:08,432 --> 00:21:11,534
Don't worry, Mr. stivic.
Just see that she gets plenty of rest.
366
00:21:11,602 --> 00:21:13,536
She'll be fine.
Okay. Thank you very much.
367
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:15,605
You're welcome.
So long.
368
00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:20,310
[ Exhales ]
Ma ? Yeah ?
369
00:21:20,378 --> 00:21:22,746
The doctor just left.
He said Gloria's gonna be fine.
370
00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:26,049
Everything's okay.
He said we can have as many babies as we want.
371
00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:30,287
Oh. This is the fifth
pot of tea I made.
372
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:33,290
And I scrubbed the sink
nine times.
373
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,792
Ma, you can stop now.
Gloria's gonna be fine. Oh.
374
00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:41,231
My mother once waxed
the kitchen floor 42 times...
375
00:21:41,299 --> 00:21:44,134
Waitin' for my father's
appendix to come out.
376
00:21:45,803 --> 00:21:47,938
Oh, I gotta go see her.
377
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:51,474
Now all we gotta worry about
is your father-in-law.
378
00:21:51,542 --> 00:21:54,144
Why ? What'll you
think he'll do ? Oh, I don't know.
379
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:57,948
But all last week,
Gloria wasn't havin' your baby.
380
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:00,384
She was havin'
his grandson.
381
00:22:00,451 --> 00:22:04,521
And you just don't
take things away from Archie bunker.
382
00:22:04,588 --> 00:22:06,589
Hey, hey, hey !
Here I am !
383
00:22:08,626 --> 00:22:12,062
On behalf of the bear and me,
I bid you all a good evenin'.
384
00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,131
Archie--
Mike, I wannatell you something.
385
00:22:14,198 --> 00:22:17,267
Archie, we tried
to reach you at work, and you'd already left--
386
00:22:17,335 --> 00:22:19,269
wait a minute.
Let me tell you somethin'.
387
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:22,439
Now, I thought
this whole thing over, and you can't leave.
388
00:22:22,506 --> 00:22:25,809
Because you can't go
to school at night and work at the same time,
389
00:22:25,876 --> 00:22:28,778
pay for an apartment,
support a wife and a baby.
390
00:22:28,846 --> 00:22:31,848
See ? Now, to begin with,
you ain't got the brains.
391
00:22:34,919 --> 00:22:38,455
Uh, Archie--
it's true, Edith. It's true.
392
00:22:38,522 --> 00:22:41,491
The boy didn't even have
the brains to keep himself from gettin' pregnant.
393
00:22:41,559 --> 00:22:43,493
Archie, I been tryin'
to tell you something--
394
00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:45,728
I'm tryin' to
tell you somethin'. We're not pregnant anymore.
395
00:22:45,796 --> 00:22:48,765
Will you let me finish--
you're what ?
396
00:22:48,833 --> 00:22:51,034
Well, we're not
gonna have a baby now.
397
00:22:52,370 --> 00:22:54,704
You big dumb polack.
Did you do something illegal ?
398
00:22:54,772 --> 00:22:57,341
Don't be ridiculous !
Of course not ! Then what happened ?
399
00:22:57,408 --> 00:22:59,843
What's with the face
on you, Edith ? What is it ?
400
00:23:00,911 --> 00:23:02,912
Archie...
401
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:05,248
Gloria lost the baby.
402
00:23:05,316 --> 00:23:07,985
What are you talkin' about ?
What do you mean by that ?
403
00:23:08,052 --> 00:23:10,787
But the doctor says
she's gonna be fine.
404
00:23:10,855 --> 00:23:14,157
She lost the baby ?
[ Edith ]Yes, Archie.
405
00:23:16,927 --> 00:23:19,029
She lost the baby.
406
00:23:31,376 --> 00:23:33,743
Aw, gee.
407
00:23:33,811 --> 00:23:36,646
[ Knocking ]Come in.
408
00:23:40,051 --> 00:23:41,718
Hi, daddy.
409
00:23:42,786 --> 00:23:45,955
Hiya, sweetheart.
How ya feelin' ?
410
00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:49,026
Hey, you look
pretty good there.
411
00:23:49,093 --> 00:23:52,329
I didn't do
a very good job, did I ?
412
00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:55,232
Aw, who said that ?
Some dopey doctor ?
413
00:23:55,299 --> 00:23:58,335
Oh, no, no, daddy.
Stop. Aw, gee whiz.
414
00:24:01,972 --> 00:24:03,973
[ Sighs ]
415
00:24:08,812 --> 00:24:10,747
You wanna say something ?
416
00:24:10,814 --> 00:24:13,517
Uh-- well, no, no, nothin'.
417
00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:16,586
I, uh-- no, nothin'.
418
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,292
You love me.
419
00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:31,334
I love you too, daddy.
420
00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:55,058
Edith, I'm waitin'
15 minutes for you to make your decision here.
421
00:24:55,126 --> 00:24:57,127
Do you want the nine
of clubs or not ?
422
00:25:04,135 --> 00:25:06,403
I don't need it.
I got gin. Ah--
423
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,776
we're goin' for a walk, mom.
We'll be back in an hour.
424
00:25:13,844 --> 00:25:17,581
You guys goin' to
the movies later ? If Archie don't change his mind.
425
00:25:17,648 --> 00:25:20,650
Oh, good.
We can have the house all to ourselves.
426
00:25:23,354 --> 00:25:25,788
I changed my mind.
427
00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:27,857
Daddy.
428
00:25:47,778 --> 00:25:51,781
[ Announcer ]
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