Original subtitles

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(machinery grinds)

Oh, Jesus!

Angelo.

(cars rumble)

Shut up!

[Man] O'Hara, O'Donnell,

come on out, boys.

(thumping)

(chuckling)

- Okay. - Okay, move along with ye.

I said okay, move along with ye.

Huh, they don't wanna go.

- Hmm. - Oy.

Oy, bejesus, if it isn't Joseph.

What are you doin' around here, boys?

[O'Donnell] Oh, you know how it is.

Just keepin' an eye out

to see that nothin' happens.

Yeah, I know how it is.

How's your family, John?

Uh, family?

Yes, family.

I heard the kids have the mumps.

[John] That's right, they did,

but they're over 'em now, never felt better.

I'm glad to hear that.

How ya lookin', Tim?

Your mama and papa?

Oh, you know how the old folks are.

They've always got somethin' wrong.

[Man In Car] You're their only support, right?

- Yeah. - Better take care

of yourself then.

Yeah, and you shouldn't wander around.

- This weather is... - Well, we gotta be movin'.

Wait a minute, boys.

I almost forgot.

You boys ain't seen a yellow Rolls Royce

around here followin' a truck?

Have you seen a yellow Rolls Royce

followin' a truck?

- No. - Nope.

(cars rumble)

[Man In Black] Sir, could ya spare a dime?

I know, I know, times are tough.

No jobs, the prices, the family.

All this I know,

but what can I do?

I got 100 guys like them on my payroll.

They got family, too.

Look, we're not here to talk business.

We're here to pay a last farewell

to Sam Levitt, who was mysteriously killed

by my boys for not payin' off.

So long, Sam.

Don't worry about your beautiful wife and daughters.

I'll put them in one of my best houses.

They'll be loved and protected.

And now, Sam, rest in peace, if you can.

(grating)

(splashing)

* Roll your wagon

* Let's go for a ride

* Tell old Lola

* To get up inside

* Feelin' so good

* The weather is fine

* Roll your wagon

* And leave them behind

* Down the street now

* Watch us goin' through

* Wine and whisky

* If only they knew

* What the price was

* And how much to pay

* And just to have

* A little drop

* Oh

* Oh

* Oh

* On the way back

* We'll call in and see

* Where the action

* Is goin' to be

* Time's a-wastin'

* You know it ain't fair

* And we wanna be around

* Just to hear them swear

* Angels and Beans

* Roll your fists up

* We're in for the kill

* Pistol packing

* Those angels and beans

* Look at us now

* Now ain't it a shame

* But who's to blame

* If angels eat beans

* On the way back

* We'll call in and see

* Where the action

* Is goin' to be

* Time's a-wastin'

* You know it ain't fair

* And we wanna be around

* Just to hear them swear

* Angels and beans

(splashing) (moaning)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(crashing)

Hey.

Hey.

(dramatic instrumental music)

(groaning)

(dramatic instrumental music)

Samurai.

(speaks foreign language)

Oh, great and venerable samurai,

the men of the mountains

have destroyed our village,

killed our own people,

raped our women.

Our children are hungry.

(screaming)

(speaking foreign language)

(chuckling)

(speaking foreign language)

(screaming)

No, my son.

That is not the way.

The pose you are attempting

is the (speaks foreign language).

It is the most difficult one in judo.

Only two of us in the world

knows its secret.

(speaks foreign language)

What does that mean in your lingo, great Naka Kata?

It means the deathblow of the dying octopus.

In fact, he who is struck by an (speaks foreign language)

falls like a boiled octopus

flung from the 5th floor, my son.

Why don't you teach it to me, master?

Because if I taught it to you,

there would be no longer

only two people in the world who knew it,

but, but three.

Oh, great Naka Kata, I remind you,

if I had not saved your life,

there would now be only one person in all the world

who knows the (speaks foreign language).

I nourish you.

Yes, on one small bowl of rice a day.

I have given you honest work.

It's little enough in return for your life.

We Japanese give life no importance.

Uh huh, and why'd you ask for help

when you were drowning, huh?

(chuckles) So be it.

I will teach you.

But remember,

open your eyes and fix in your mind a movement

because the regulations permit the (speaks foreign language)

to be demonstrated only once.

You must be a genius to understand it.

Okay, that's all I need, just once.

(grunting)

You forgot to salute.

(shouting)

Oh my God!

(shouting)

(thudding)

- You dirty son of a... - You were saying, my son?

[Man In Stripes] I was sayin' it seems like a dirty trick.

And, in fact, it is.

The octopus is a notoriously treacherous animal.

I, I've invented a new clout.

I would like the opinion of a great master like yourself.

Okay.

It's called the Flower With Two Petals.

A beautiful name.

And how is it performed?

Well, you know, it's based on surprise, of course.

I'll show ya.

Uh, put your hands in this position.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

Spread your legs like this.

That's right.

Now close your eyes and concentrate

on your dear departed ancestors.

(groaning)

Dirty son of woman of ill repute!

Oh, Toshio.

(groaning)

(speaking in foreign language)

Ah, he's just sore 'cause I won.

(grunting)

Sayonara, boys.

(speaks foreign language)

(grunting)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(hot dog vendor humming)

Big hot franks with.

There, that's the guy there.

[Vendor] Oh yeah, huh?

- A wise guy, huh? - Hey!

- What's eatin' you? - What's eatin' me?

Yeah, you oughtn't push people around like that.

(men shouting)

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Man In Tan Coat] Hey, buddy, spare a dime?

Don't eat it all at once, eh?

(car honks)

(knocking)

Morning.

(whistling)

[Man] Go down tonight like a bottle of gin, get me?

The only mystery about you

will be the way you disappeared.

[Man In Black] You guys are real funny, you know that.

[Man] Angelo's got two grand on them bums.

Angelo never loses.

[Man In Black] Well, tonight's his night.

We'll see about that.

Mm hmm.

- What's my cut? - You'll stay alive.

Ain't it enough?

Now, listen, this is a fat purse.

Winner take all.

I lose, and I'm outside drawin' holy pictures

on the sidewalk for pennies.

So cut me in big.

[Man] It's your pick, friend.

- Lose that fight or your life. - Beat it.

(chuckling)

(thudding)

You better go down, low!

(whistling)

(grunting)

(crashing)

(crowd cheers and shouts)

Ladies and gentlemen,

the main event tonight

will be between the Mystery Man

and the Terrible Masters Of Chicago

in the battle of the century!

I promise

there will be somebody's mother

shedding bitter tears of sorrow.

(booing)

Three against one and the winner takes all.

(shouting)

(applause, whistling, and shouting)

[Referee] Evenin', boys.

Good to see ya again.

Yeah, how are things?

It's good to see you again, Mystery Man.

(thudding)

Clear the ring!

(bell rings)

(shouting and whistling)

I'll show you!

(shouting and whistling)

Come on, Mystery Man, you can do it!

Look at that guy, he's gonna kill 'em all.

Yeah!

Yeah, give it to the bums, yeah!

(shouting)

Hey, you hit him again.

Now that's against the rules!

[Man] Get out!

- Yeah! - Just the same,

the guy in the black,

he's sure to go down like a sack of cement.

Two bucks says they win.

You're on, buddy.

You know, with guys like them,

my collections would be a cinch.

Yeah, right.

(shouting)

(booing)

[Man] What's the matter with you?

Get back in there.

Don't give me any of that!

Let's go!

(shouting)

(grumbling)

A one.

Come on, wrestler, get up.

(shouting)

Yeah!

He's gonna pay off!

(shouting)

I ain't gonna warn you again!

(laughing)

(shouting)

It's against the rules!

(laughing)

(shouting)

Hold it!

Get back, get back I say!

Tell him to get up.

It's the wrong round.

(whistling)

[Referee] Go on, get back I said!

(booing)

Go on, go on.

A one. (thudding)

Yeah, yay!

Lay there, don't get up.

It's against the rules to hit an opponent on the.

(shouting)

(bell dings)

What are you doin'?

This ain't your corner.

- Get out here! - Aw, shut up.

[Angelo] Tell him he's gotta take the dive

in this round, now.

Okay.

Hey, dumbo,

this is the one,

unless you're looking for lung trouble.

(bell dings)

(shouting)

That's it, the ole one-two.

- Yeah, you wallop those guys. - You watch,

I say this round's gonna cost that big bull the fight.

Yep, okay.

Let's sweeten the pot with two bucks more then.

- Consider it covered. - Fine!

(shouting)

Better get ready to pay off.

(shouting)

(laughing) (booing)

(shouting)

A one, two, three.

A one, two.

Back, get back.

Give the man room to lie down.

(booing)

The money.

- Collect the bet. - Hey, the dough.

What'd I tell ya, baby?

(laughing)

(screaming)

(shouting)

(laughing)

You are the winner, the winner!

The Mystery Man.

(shouting and cheering)

Aw, beat it.

A grand to the guy that takes off

the champion's mask.

(grunting)

- Hey! - Aw, shut up!

Hold it, hold it, everybody!

I got $1,000 for the guy

that takes off the Mystery Man's mask.

[Mystery Man] Get out!

(shouting)

[Crowd Member] Let's go!

Hey, somebody get him!

(shouting)

- [Mystery Man] Thanks. - (groaning)

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Pedestrian] I'm sorry.

(cheerful instrumental music)

We can do big things together.

That's the way men of good will talk.

You talkin' to me?

Oh yes, indeed.

You said you could do big things.

Yeah, but I was thinkin' of...

Of him.

No, of him.

That makes no difference.

He's everywhere, in every man,

everywhere.

Yeah, I guess you're right, but I.

Lost him.

For cryin' out loud.

It's never too late.

You can redeem yourself.

[Man In Plaid Hat] What, do you run a pawnshop, lady?

I want to save your soul.

They always grin like that?

Certainly.

They've found spiritual peace.

They've renounced sin

and live according to the Gospel.

Good for them.

Embrace our cause, brother.

Unite with us

and salvation will be yours.

You'll have a warm bed,

and a dish of hot beans

is waiting for you.

- Did you say hot beans? - Yes, hot beans.

Okay, redeem me.

(dragging brass music)

[Blonde Woman] Now, brothers, put the bread on this side

and we can begin.

Oh, and the plates over here.

(men chatting)

I hate charity.

Charity.

[Man] Come on, let's get goin'.

Come on now.

(men chatting)

Brothers,

brothers, nourish yourselves with the good word.

(cymbals clash)

Take your place in the line, brother.

(cymbals clash)

Blessed are the poor

for they shall see the kingdom of heaven.

Come along.

[Man] Hey, buddy,

the line begins in the rear.

[Blonde Woman] Brother, you're holding up the line.

(men shout)

[Man] Hey, that ain't fair!

What, are you kiddin' me?

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, brother.

Think of those who aren't as lucky as you.

(cymbals clash)

Move along, big brother.

Let your companions come up.

They, too, have need of luck.

(cymbals clash)

And hope, like you.

Take heed, brothers!

(cymbals clash)

Salvation is at hand!

Listen to the word of the Lord

and be saved.

(cymbals clash)

Beans and rice, sister?

Don't complain, brother.

Even angels eat beans.

Hallelujah.

(cymbals clash)

[Blonde Woman] For what you have received,

may the Lord make you truly thankful.

Those who ask for too much

end up with nothing.

(cymbals clash)

Hallelujah!

Knock it off, will ya?

What, does it bother you?

No, it's just, uh, my head aches.

Blessed are the meek!

(cymbals clash)

For they shall inherit the kingdom of heaven.

(cymbals clash)

The Lord sent his son Jesus Christ

to live amongst us so that we would all be saved.

(cymbals clash)

(cymbals clash)

(groaning)

Stop it, stop it, Cain, he's your brother.

Could be.

My old man sowed a lot of wild oats in his time.

You'll be drawin' saints on the sidewalk

when I get through with ya.

I'm not one of Angelo's punks.

(moaning)

What'd you say about Angelo?

I said thank God I'm not one of Angelo's boys.

I'm the guy who opened the door for you

when those bums were chasin' ya.

Ah, I remember now.

Thought I'd seen you before some place.

Okay.

I'll leave ya go, that makes us even.

[Blonde Woman] Back in line, brothers.

Peace has been restored.

Why was ya tryin' to give me a migraine

with your brass band?

See if you got temperament as well as strength.

I'm lookin' for a partner.

For what?

To make dough.

Interested, huh?

- Huh, huh? - Not in peanuts.

They'll be plenty.

But remember, I get 51%

'cause the idea's mine.

Okay.

Let's hear it.

Okay, I figure to.

(tires screech)

(doors slam)

Where ya goin'?

I'll truss those badgers up

like a Thanksgivin' turkey.

If they recognize you,

they're gonna spread you all over the place.

That Angelo's mean.

He'll never forgive you, buddy.

He ain't gonna give me anymore of his crap.

I'm gonna get back in the ring.

You can't, as long as Angelo's in circulation.

Besides, you can make more dough

without breakin' your bones.

I'm the bone breaker.

Yeah, sure.

But those guys aren't lookin' for you.

They don't even know what you look like.

They're lookin' for new guys for the gang.

Tough guys, like us.

You're a tough guy?

Some day I'll tell ya how tough I am,

and it'll make ya tremble.

Yeah.

You can bet on it.

Well?

We, uh, gonna go get ourselves hired?

Think of it, friend.

Dough, fancy babes, champagne,

big cars.

Believe me, partner, only one thing pays off,

and that's crime.

What's your name, huh?

Is, uh, Charlie okay?

Okay, Charlie boy.

[Blonde Woman] Brothers, please be calm.

Brothers, help us to keep order!

[Cop] Move outta the way!

- Come here! - Let's help our friends.

[Cop] All right, what are you guys

doin' around here, huh?

[Cop] All right, you bums, move along now, move along.

[Blonde Woman] Be calm, brothers!

The Lord doesn't want you to be angry.

The Lord wants you all to be brothers!

How do ya like that, huh?

(shrill whistling) (shouting)

Resorting to violence is no way to seek salvation.

(shouting and thudding)

That kid's not bad, huh?

And the big guy's okay, too.

(thudding and shouting)

- There it goes. - Let's get outta here,

come on, Mac!

(shouting)

That showed 'em.

You ready?

Hey, you.

- You mean us? - Uh huh.

We like ya.

Uh, yeah, you think they're willin' now.

I know somebody who'd sure like to meet

a couple of guys like you two.

And we know two guys who'd sure like to know

- that kind of somebody. - Well, I'll see

if I can set it up.

What's the goin' price?

Two Cs and 10% of the take,

plus expenses.

You make out good.

[Charlie] We've been paid better.

By who?

Our memories ain't so good.

I like you.

Yeah, you said that already.

But watch those hands,

or you'll find yourself

walkin' around with an empty sleeve.

The boss is gonna love ya.

By the way, who is the boss, huh?

Don't worry, you'll find out.

Oh yeah, when are we gonna find out?

Meet me tonight at Smoky Joe's.

You got a date.

(chuckles) Partner, life begins tonight

at Smoky Joe's.

Yeah, by the way, you know where it's at?

Eh, we'll ask somebody.

Uh, excuse me, you know where Smoky Joe's is?

Out-of-towner.

And take off that suit.

We'll be walkin' there,

not goin' in an elevator.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Well, at least we had a good workout, huh?

From tomorrow on, we got it made.

(groans) Oh, this goes on Angelo's bill, too.

We got a lot of time to give him that bill.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah.

Smoky Joe's can't be far from here now.

Yeah, that's what you said this mornin'.

- Hey, buddy, uh... - Thanks.

- Hey, we got there. - Whoopee.

- Look, it's them. - Yeah, so?

Let's go.

Relax.

I'm relaxed, but let's go.

Relax.

- Okay. - Yeah.

(horn blares)

It's about time.

Relax, buster.

You just got here, too.

We bird-eyed you all the way.

We coulda caught ya like mice

anytime we wanted to.

You're right in there pitchin...

Yeah,

but keep your hands to yourself,

unless you wanna walk around with two, uh,

empty sleeves pinned to your jacket.

I don't see your boss friend.

- Where is he? - Home, changed his mind.

Does that a lot.

He's real foxy, the boss, real foxy.

Uh huh.

So we gotta go to where he's holed up, right?

[Thug] Right on the button.

(thudding)

(machine gun fires)

Knock it off, ya dumb banana!

[Thug] How'd it go?

[Thug] They know their way around.

Boss just wanted to know how you'd handle

a deal like this.

(horn blares)

(knocking)

[Thug] Hold it minute, he's busy.

It's the boss's new armored car.

They're tryin' it out.

He hardly never goes out.

He's real foxy, the boss.

(car rumbles)

Let's go.

Who are those guys?

New members of the family, maybe.

[Thug On Right] Let's have your hardware.

We don't have any.

All we need is our hands.

[Thug On Right] Yeah. (Groans)

(knocking)

Here's the new recruits, boss.

It's platinum.

His friends gave it to him for his 25th murder.

The boss is always this happy?

- He's not happy. - Why the smile then?

He's not smiling.

His face is paralyzed.

The roast.

(dinging)

The roast!

Roast!

(metronome ticks)

Okay.

Okay.

(smacking)

That's a precaution.

I got an anonymous letter

saying somebody put cyanide in my food.

And with that stuff, you only got four seconds.

Maybe he wrote that letter.

Him, no.

He can't read or write.

You'd never know it to look at him.

(laughing)

Come here.

(chuckling)

The boys tell me you're a couple of pretty hard cases.

- Yeah, that's right. - Mm hmm.

How'd ya get started in the racket?

- Huh? - Started in the racket.

Uh, um, yeah, um.

Uh, yeah, uh, as a kid,

I stole flowers from cemeteries

and I sold them back to the flower stand.

After that, I robbed 'em, naturally.

Very good.

How'd you get started?

Who me?

(chuckles) Real funny, when I think of it.

(laughing)

Well don't think, just make me laugh.

Yeah.

Well, I, uh, I started out, uh,

helpin' old people across the street.

Halfway over, I'd, uh, I'd grab their purses

or their wallets,

and then I'd run like hell. (Laughs)

Mm hmm.

That's what happened to my old man.

Well, but, uh,

that was a long time ago, in Ireland.

Oh.

You Irish?

- Uh... - Born and bred in potatoes.

I don't like the Irish.

I hate shillelaghs.

And potatoes, too.

Um, yeah, well, you should try the cabbage.

There is a lot of good people, too.

Cobra here tells me you're handy with your mitts.

Yeah, our money in the bank, boss.

Well, let's see.

Go call Mack the Knife and Stonehead.

They're my best collectors.

Maybe a little rough, but they know their stuff.

Oh, better look out for 'em.

They got no sense of humor.

What do ya think of 'em?

- You need 'em, boss? - If they can stay

on their feet.

(chuckles) That ain't gonna be easy.

I'll bust the bull.

He called you a bull.

(grunting)

(crashing)

(laughing)

Call the carpenter.

(knife swishes)

(smacking)

Hey, I missed that, do it again.

[Man In Black Hat] If you say so, boss.

(knife swishes)

(smacking)

(crashing)

(laughing)

Not bad.

Welcome to the family, boys.

Thank you, boss.

Listen to me close.

The first thing you gotta do is take a bath.

My men gotta be in shape, all the time,

ready to go any minute, day or night.

(cheerful instrumental music)

I got no use for guys that are out of shape.

I get rid of 'em,

send 'em over to work for the Calosemo family. (Laughs)

(cheerful instrumental music)

And another thing, my men always gotta be

very elegant.

They gotta be able to mix with the right people.

They gotta inspire confidence in our dear customers.

We got 'em make 'em believe.

Angelo gives 'em the best insurance there is.

And remember, our motto is pay and shut up,

shut up and pay.

(cheerful instrumental music)

After you've been to the tailor,

you'll train in my special cop-shooting gallery.

And don't spare the lead.

We've got an arsenal big enough

for a small army, so shoot till your hands get blisters.

And remember, when the time comes to use your guns,

pity's a luxury you can't afford.

(cheerful instrumental music)

Now, when you've finished training,

step up to the cashier and draw

some walkin' around money.

You'll also get a bonus when you start with me.

Boys, you'll make plenty with me,

but you gotta earn it, okay?

Now, your first job will be

to keep the customers calm in one of my nightclubs.

But remember, the guys that get too happy

on a couple of drinks are the most dangerous,

so hold 'em down.

Don't worry, boss.

You got exactly the right guys for this here job.

I know,

but I still don't like the Irish.

(jazzy brass music)

Everything's under control.

(jazzy brass music)

What the hell's wrong with you?

Nothin', just followin' ya down.

Oh!

Hi, hi there!

Somebody ya know?

No, but ya gotta wave to somebody

every once in a while,

you know, like you know 'em,

so people think you're a big shot.

(jazzy brass music)

I'm gonna take a gander at the wheel.

You keep an eye on the rest of the customers.

'Kay.

(jazzy brass music)

Hiya.

Hello.

Hi, kid. (moaning)

- The usual. - Yes, sir.

(jazzy brass music)

(clapping and chatting)

Water sure tastes great when you're thirsty.

Sure does.

(romantic instrumental music)

- Come on. - Talking to us?

(laughing)

On the floor, sister.

Bid your friends good night.

(laughing)

Beat it!

(romantic instrumental music)

- 18. - (laughing)

How's it going?

Lousy, this guy can't lose.

(laughing)

Put your gadget to work.

I can't.

It slipped off from zero and ended up in 18.

100 on 18.

- On 18 again? - Yes, yes.

I have a feelin' it's goin' to repeat.

- You're wrong, Mister. - Huh?

This time number five comes up.

Why?

Well, 'cause after 18, number five turns up.

Maybe, but I say it's going to be number 18.

- You want to bet? - No.

Ah. (Chuckles)

That's all, folks, here we go.

(speaks foreign language)

Like they say in France.

(ball rattles)

- 18. - Hooray!

(romantic instrumental music)

(thudding)

(romantic instrumental music)

- What's your name? - Huh?

What's your name?

Nashka.

(growls)

Bite.

You're mine.

Ain't ya?

(romantic instrumental music)

- My leg. - What, oh, sorry.

(romantic instrumental music)

(gasping)

Hiya, blue eyes.

(romantic instrumental music)

(thudding) (laughing)

Champagne, on the house.

Are you crazy?

That the way you keep things under control?

She's a customer.

She asked to dance with me, so.

Look, quit buyin' drinks for every dame ya meet.

We got problems.

The roulette wheel's droppin' dough by the bucketful.

And your bar bill is like a,

like a war budget.

What are we gonna tell Angelo?

Yeah, what are we gonna tell Angelo?

Come on, let's go to the roulette table.

- We gonna play? - No.

There's a guy winnin' too much.

- Ah. - Ah.

(ball rattles)

[Dealer] 18 again.

(laughing)

There ya are, me darlin'.

A little too happy, don't ya think?

(laughing)

- Like it here, sir? - I certainly do.

I've just won over $3,000.

My wife died 10 days ago,

and I'm havin' the time of my life!

Put your money on the table.

All right, yes, sir.

Uh, 100 on 18.

Why not 1000?

Why not, 1000.

Why not 1000 more, Mister?

Bejesus, that's a good idea.

1000 more.

Bets placed?

Here we go.

(ball rattles)

(speaks foreign language)

(shouting)

Shut up!

Hey, just a minute, what do ya mean?

That's against the rules!

Listen, slob, pay your bar bill and blow.

What bar bill ya talkin' about?

Ah, he's tryin' to play the wise guy.

(shouting)

How dare you?

- Do you know who I am? - You're a smartass, friend.

Only what I see, ya ain't bein' very smart.

This'll take care of the bar bill.

Now get outta here,

unless you wanna meet that dead wife of yours

- real fast. - You!

Look here, take it easy, huh?

I happen to know this gentlemen...

[Charlie's Partner] Right, just a moment.

(thudding)

Oh bejesus!

(shouting)

You, you're just a thief and a chiseler!

- What is it with the hands? - Yeah, I'm tellin' ya,

you're a thief and a chiseler and I'm a (groans).

(shouting)

Big shot.

Yeah, big shot.

And who do you pick to (speaks foreign language)

to hammer on?

Senator O'Riordan, a dirty Irisher

who promised the people (speaks foreign language).

You know, clean up the mob.

You're right, boss.

But when he said, eh,

when he said you was always laughin'

without no reason.

What'd you say?

Laughing, without no reason.

Charlie got sore and lost his head.

You shoulda killed him!

Yeah, I, we thought of that, but.

He'd prefer to do it without any witnesses.

Oh yeah, you're right.

After the elections.

Yeah, we'll wait till after the elections.

First, we'll get him elected,

then you can put him away for keeps.

Uh, when are the elections?

Relax, I'll tell ya when the time's right.

He can hardly wait to kill him.

Meantime, what do we do?

You better stay away from the club for a while.

I've got an idea.

They can take over Mack the Knife's

and Stonehead's job, boss.

We're behind in our collections.

That's a good idea.

Come on.

Come on, wiseguy.

(speaks foreign language), here.

I'll give you Little Italy to start with.

Now don't let them (speaks foreign language) of mine

soft-talk you into feelin' sorry for 'em.

They can think up fantastic excuses

for not payin' off.

(speaking foreign language)

I know every thought in their heads.

I grew up down there.

Don't worry, boss.

We'll convince 'em with these.

Oh yes, one more thing.

This is 12th Street.

It's the dividing line between

our territory and the Colosemo's.

North of the street is ours.

The south is theirs.

The middle of the street is no man's land.

Now don't cross over into their territory.

It'll mean war,

and that's all the police have been waiting for.

Fat-Headed flatfeet.

Sure, they're all dirty Irishers.

Hey, you got the same build as the bastard that...

(chuckles) I only look that way.

- It wasn't me. - Okay.

Pick up your tools and go when you're paid.

(car rumbles)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(shouting and wailing)

I'll make spaghetti.

- Tomato sauce? - With tomato sauce.

- An egg? - An egg.

(wailing and gasping)

(speaking in foreign language)

Where's Joe Aniello?

- He's resting. - Resting, eh, lucky guy.

He's doin' so good he can rest in the middle of the day.

You comin' for the funeral?

To see him?

Come back.

I'm a-show you, this a-way.

He's a beautiful chap.

He's seems to be alive you see.

(speaking foreign language)

They come to pay their respects.

How come you die like a-this?

Without you tell nobody first?

Hey, you think-a that is such a nice thing to do?

(speaks foreign language)

He's more beautiful now than awake.

You believe it.

- He thinks he's smart. - Yeah.

Knock it off, Joe.

Yeah.

You think you're smart, don't ya, kiddo?

I think he's dead.

(chuckling)

(weeping)

We better skidoo.

(wailing and weeping)

(speaking foreign language)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

- He love you. - Let go of my hand, lady.

(speaking foreign language)

Please, we no pay you off.

We got no money.

- Help us, I got... - Goddamn it,

let go of my hand!

(weeping)

Just take the money, not the hand.

(speaking foreign language)

Glad it was you picked him up.

Yeah.

Well, we'll make it up in the fish market.

(child speaks foreign language)

What's that smell?

I don't know, fish?

Not for you, buster.

You can't get away with that.

You from the gas company?

Nosiree, we're insurance men.

I, I already got a policy.

Double indemnity?

Come on, friend, while there's life, there's hope.

Oh, sorry.

Here, buy yourself a pipe.

(cheerful instrumental music)

What's wrong with ya?

Ain't Gerace next?

Follow me and you won't get lost, jerk.

(cheerful instrumental music)

Hey!

(cheerful instrumental music)

- You want it? - I want 15 bucks.

- 15 bucks? - Mm hmm.

Yeah, 15 bucks.

You're three weeks late with your payments.

- And Angelo. - Oh, Angelo.

- Yeah, Angelo. - Angelo.

Angelo.

- Angelo. - Angelo.

This one's got the message.

(whistling)

(baby crying)

(coughing)

(speaking foreign language)

Here we go again.

(baby crying)

- Well? - Who are they?

Some of Angelo's men, Ma, don't worry about it.

You're wrong, my friend,

and you get up and quit bellyachin'.

And, you, fork over that 15 bucks, and fast.

Hey, I'm talkin' to you!

- Me? - Yeah.

I haven't got a cent.

For months, I haven't seen not one dollar.

You expect us to believe that?

- It's the truth. - Oh yeah?

Then what's he doin' in that pot?

Perfumin' the joint?

Uh huh, you can't answer that, huh?

They're all the same, these immigrants.

(baby crying)

Either they're goin' to a whole lot of trouble

to convince us,

or they got no dough either.

Don't let them kid ya.

They're sharp cookies, they're good actors.

(rattling)

(coughing)

[Woman In Bed] Oh, Maria, Maria. (Coughs)

Well now, you think we're pigeons here, huh?

That's expensive fruit.

So it means you got money, huh?

Come on, get it out.

Take it easy, Mom, it's nothin'.

(baby crying)

If you want to kill us,

this, this very minute,

you'll be doing us a favor.

For three days now, he eat only this.

(speaking foreign language)

That's nice, (speaks foreign language).

Here, put him on the pot.

I'm coming, Ma.

(baby crying)

Hey, they're really starving.

You think so?

Yeah, look at 'em.

All four together wouldn't weigh 180 pounds.

Yeah, so.

Nothin'.

I was just thinkin' that (whispers).

Okay, okay, make it snappy.

Move!

(cheerful instrumental music)

(speaking foreign language)

(cheerful instrumental music)

Sit down, please.

Uh, no thanks, standin' fine.

No, sit down.

(cheerful instrumental music)

What's the bombardier's name?

Charlie.

- Beautiful name, no? - Yeah, yeah.

But we call him (wheezes).

What?

- Tiny. - Tiny, huh?

When I was that tiny, I was tiny, too.

(rattling)

Hey, Charlie, gimme a hand, will ya?

(baby crying)

Coochie coochie coo, here's some milk for you.

There we go.

Apples, bananas.

Peaches.

Spaghetti.

It's for you.

(baby crying)

I.

We, I.

I.

She.

I don't know what to say.

Okay, don't say anything.

Oh no.

Sometimes, happiness is just around the corner.

Don't tell anybody.

We're from the Justice Department.

I'll be back to see you.

I mean, to see how the baby's getting along.

You know, digesting his food okay.

(baby cries) (snorts)

Thank you, Mister, (speaks foreign language).

One day, I'm gonna pay you back.

I don't know how,

but I'm a-gonna do it.

Well think hard about it.

Maybe we'll need it.

Hey, quit lickin' your chops

and let's get outta here.

See ya, ma'am, hope you feel better.

(wheezing and coughing)

We eat, Mom.

(speaking foreign language)

What are we gonna tell Angelo tonight?

You dream up somethin'.

You've got the biggest slice of the action in this game.

(chuckling)

What are ya laughin' for?

I just found us the dough.

I'll go get us a loan.

- You figure we... - Mm hmm.

And the chance of?

No.

Leave the motor running.

(speaking foreign language)

Now listen, when we hit it,

if you don't mind,

I'll say this is a hold up, all right?

I've got more experience.

Just a moment.

[Man] This is a hold up.

Reach!

[Teller] Hold up.

[Robber] Fill it up.

[Teller] Yes, yes, yes, sir.

[Robber] And the rest, take a look.

[Robber] Outta the way!

Hey, it's empty.

We were just closing down for bankruptcy.

[Robber] Stick your noses outta that door

and you'll be splattered all over the sidewalk.

Hey, boys, if you came in to make a deposit,

now would be a good time to do it.

Real clever, friend.

Hell, that could happen to anybody.

Yeah, but what are we gonna tell Angelo?

Well, uh.

Must be Calosemo's boys.

(cheerful instrumental music)

You off your rocker?

They don't know that we work for Smiley.

And they don't know us.

(speaking foreign language)

(cheerful instrumental music)

This is Judah.

You want $30 worth of news?

Angelo's boys, they're working in Calosemo's territory.

I, I ain't got no money.

(smacking) (grunting)

[Thug] You don't, huh?

No, folks that don't eat don't clean their teeth.

[Thug] Yeah, maybe they're just confused.

Try puttin' up a different sign.

Now hand it over if you don't wanna

get hurt bad.

That, that's all I have.

Next week, we'll be by to pick up the rest.

Uh uh.

Okay, reach, unless you want your guts ventilated.

You dogs, you lousy dogs.

Give me that money back!

Caught you with your pants down this time, huh?

You are the police, huh?

What do ya mean police?

(laughing)

[Thug] Hey, we're in the racket, too.

You made a mistake.

We ain't made no mistake.

You can say that again.

Here ya are, boss.

Hey, you didn't let them (speaks foreign language) of mine

soft-soap ya, huh?

Nah.

At first they give us a hard time, boss, but

Charlie gave 'em his blessing

and (chuckles) the money came pourin' out.

You did a good job, boys, real good.

Little Italy's a tough district.

You're tellin' us, boss.

St. Patrick's Hermitage.

It's Judah.

Go ahead.

Yeah?

Uh huh.

You're sure?

Okay.

Tell the cashier to give Judah his usual 30 bucks.

- You know him? - Uh, Judah?

No.

Uh, I think I've heard of him, boss,

but I'm not sure it's the same guy.

[Angelo] He's an informer.

No, it's not him.

The one I mean was also a traitor.

He told me you busted into Calosemo's territory.

Roughed up a couple of his boys.

- Is that what he said? - Yeah.

Hey, boss, this guy's not only a squealer,

he's also a pretty big liar.

Why?

Why?

Hey, listen, the boss wants to know why.

(chuckling)

Tell him.

Well, we wasn't gonna tell you

so as not to start a war up,

they're the ones that busted the line.

We caught 'em milkin' our chickens.

- No. - Sure.

And when we told them it was gonna cost them plenty,

they said that Calosemo would take,

- eh, would... - Take what?

Take that smile off your face.

You should've killed him!

When they put 'em in the ambulance,

they was still unconscious.

Goddamn it, I'll show 'em who's the godfather around here!

Them bums' car still over on 12th Street?

- Yeah. - Go pick it up,

drive it over to Senator O'Riordan's house

and knock him off.

Knock him off?

Yeah, knock him off.

And leave it nearby.

A cop on our payroll will swear

he's seen two of Calosemo's boys

duck in and out of it.

You, get down to the hospital

and close those two bums' mouths.

Close those two bums' mouths?

[Angelo] Yeah, and be sure you get to him

before Macintosh does.

- Macintosh? - Yes, he's the cop

that knows too much.

Then stop at the cashier's office,

pick up some letters,

and drop out of circulation for a few days.

You can bet on it, boss.

Come on, gorgeous.

Call the heads of the families together for a meeting.

Calosemo's broken the Chicago Treaty.

(guns fire)

(horn blares)

Yeah, I like it better than the old kind.

It works pretty good.

[Man On Left] It doesn't do as good as yours does.

Well, you gonna go after the Senator?

Yeah.

It's your first killin'?

You mean outside the ring?

- Yeah, outside the ring. - Nah.

You?

Me?

Like I said before,

you'd shake like a leaf if I told ya.

How 'bout that?

10 clips for a .45,

a half a dozen grenades,

four candles, and a typewriter.

Gonna play a joke on somebody?

What'll it be?

The usual.

I mean, the same as him.

(guns firing)

What's the racket?

Practicin' with a new silencer.

Want one?

Yeah, I'll try it out tonight

at the hospital.

That way, nobody'll hear me.

Jerk.

Very clever.

Have fun.

Want a lift,

at least as far as 12th Street?

Nah, somebody might spot us.

You're right.

Where will we meet afterwards?

Better split up for a while.

That's a good idea.

- So long. - See ya.

(suspenseful instrumental music)

Bastards.

(suspenseful instrumental music)

(gun fires)

(suspenseful instrumental music)

How the hell do you kill a guy?

Bastards!

St. Paul's Hospital, please.

[Man] St. Paul's Hospital.

This is a warning.

An attempt will be made tonight to kill...

[Man] Hold on, please.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello!

[Man] Yes?

- Who is this? - This is Macintosh.

Macintosh.

This is a warning.

An attempt will be made tonight

to kill Calosemo's men.

You better surround the hospital,

put a lot of men on guard,

dozens of men.

- Who's talkin'? - A friend.

[Macintosh] Thanks a lot, friend, but you're too late.

Somebody's already knocked 'em off.

- What? - Yeah, somebody filled 'em

full of lead.

It wasn't me.

I swear, I didn't do it.

I don't know anything.

I, I was home when they were killed.

I've got a perfect alibi.

I've got.

Oh my God.

(suspenseful instrumental music)

(people chattering)

Hey, what happened?

Senator O'Riordan, you know,

the one who was up for reelection.

Yeah, so?

So, they found him stone dead

in his own swimming pool.

- Stoned? - Dead.

You're a Republican, too, huh?

- Well. - You know, this is

a political crime.

I know lots of people who'd have been glad

to kill that crazy old coot.

I know somebody, too.

(people chattering)

All right, get these people outta here.

Hey, Lieutenant, where the hell were ya?

At the hospital, what happened?

It's Senator O'Riordan.

They found him dead.

Who, when, and where?

The gardener, 'bout half an hour ago,

- in the swimmin' pool. - A drowning, how strange.

The old man was a diving champ in his time.

Well, this wasn't his night.

The pool was empty.

(laughing)

What'd the doctor say?

Skull fracture, death was instantaneous.

Seen anything to work on?

No, nothin'.

Except a banana peel on the edge of the pool.

I wanna know everything there is to be known

about that banana peel.

Where it was grown, when it was imported,

who bought it,

and the habits of the guy who ate it.

- And I want it tonight. - Okay.

How'd it go at the hospital, Lieutenant?

Calosemo's bag man sing?

Could you sing with a head full of lead?

(cheerful instrumental music)

You love me?

(baby crying)

Is that your father?

No.

Making ice cream is an art.

And the secret is

how much salt you put in the bucket.

It's gotta be just cold enough

so that it'll be creamy

without turning to ice.

As cold as...

[Charlie] As cold as (speaks foreign language).

Yeah, more or less.

Hey, what are you doin' around here?

Eh, nothin' special.

Just wanted to find out how my little bombardier is.

How ya doin'?

You knockin' 'em dead, pal?

He's okay now.

- Oh yeah? - Oh hey.

Hey, get this.

[Charlie] Hey, not bad, not bad.

A little chocolate puddin',

- huh? - And that's nothin'.

Look.

(laughs) Very funny.

It's nice to see you again.

- Thanks to you... - Pull the chain again.

- Well, also that. - Uncle Charlie.

But more than that,

I begin to work again.

[Radio Announcer] The underworld has struck again.

Two members of the Calosemo gang

were savagely slain in their beds tonight

at St. Paul's Hospital by one, or possibly two,

unidentified killers,

who literally made mincemeat out of their victims

by firing dozens of bullets into them

at pointblank range.

According to police lieutenant Barry Macintosh,

there was every indication that the shooting

was the result of a feud between two rival gangs.

- He's right. - Also, tonight,

Senator Michael o'Riordan was found

with his head split open in his own swimming pool,

which was empty at the time.

The question now is, was it accidental death

or was the Senator a victim of the under,

of the underworld, excuse me,

against which he has fought so bitterly for so long.

Police investigation is centered

on a mysterious banana peel

found at the edge of the senator's swimming pool.

And now, more music.

What a world.

(whistling)

Bunch of jerks.

(babbling and grunting)

I always did like little kids.

You stay here, have supper with us.

Okay.

If it's not too much trouble for ya.

No, no, no trouble at all.

My daughter, your friend, they cook

the spaghetti and meatball, hmm?

And raspberry ice cream, smooth.

Raspberry ice cream?

Well, it was really him that made it.

I just help.

Come, children, sit down.

Also, you fellas from the Department of Justice,

you ask questions like the police?

[Charlie] Well, indirectly.

Indirectly, well I tell ya, you're up to your neck in it.

No, you're up to your neck in it.

It's his case, see?

(grunting)

(speaks foreign language)

Just watch me get outside this.

I love Italian food.

(speaking foreign language)

No thanks.

It's cooked.

Serve it.

Get a move on it.

(waiter speaks foreign language)

(booming and shattering)

With regards from Angelo.

Come on.

[Standing Man] All clear outside.

[Man] Pair of 10s.

[Man] I'll see ya.

(phone rings)

Home for the night, what is it?

Okay.

It was Angelo.

We gotta stay put.

Now where was we?

(horn blares)

Take it easy.

It's the postman.

He always rings twice.

(guns fire)

[Cop] We got him this mornin', Chief.

219th on the Wanted List.

This time you've had it.

The least you're gonna get is seven days.

Wake up!

Uh, Judah.

(phone rings)

Macintosh speaking.

What, what?

No.

They've blown up Angelo's bootlegging plant

and eight of his boys with it.

You see, I always told you

we'd find that joint of his.

You never know, do ya?

- Judah. - Lieutenant.

(phone rings)

Macintosh speaking.

Then find some way.

Double 'em up two in a box.

Buy ice.

Lay 'em out in the corridor.

Damn it!

It's the morgue.

No empty ice boxes.

Well then to buy ice.

Lay 'em out in the corridor.

In the corridor, huh?

Another couple of go arounds like this

and the city'd be cleaned up.

And I'd have to go to work, God forbid.

You don't have to worry, Judah.

You're the best stooly the police and the mob's

- ever had in this town. - Thanks, boss.

I'm not flattering ya, it's the truth.

His price is right and he's never given us a bum steer.

Yeah, that's right.

All I'm asking is that you work for us exclusively.

Just for us, it'd be a lot easier, understand?

I understand, but I can't do that, boss.

You see, I'm a kind of artist in my game.

And it just don't seem honest to me

to work for one side only.

It's kind of like,

like Caruso only singing at the Met.

Yeah, that's right.

- I mean, beside... - Beside, yeah?

Well,

it's like this.

I can only work on the phone.

I couldn't do it face-to-face.

I want my name here.

Come on.

Come on!

Operator, get me my office.

Yes, my office!

(phone rings)

Judah?

- Yes, boss? - Do you recognize

those men who work for Angelo,

the ones who hammered Calosemo's boys?

- Sure. - Where do they hang out?

- I think I know. - You get out

and find 'em for me and I'll make you rich.

All right, boss.

Where can I find ya if I need you.

Usual place.

I am always around in the street.

There ya are.

10, 20, 30.

Thanks, boss,

but would you mind giving it to me

in 30 silver dollars?

It's an old family tradition.

Get these bills changed and give him the dough.

Thank you.

Get your ass down to 12th Street.

Wait!

Squeeze the storekeepers and make 'em talk.

I'll take care of it, boss.

They'll sing like canaries.

(grunting)

(grunting)

(truck rumbles)

(horn blares)

I think we oughta blow, Sonny.

I don't like this set up a damn bit.

Scared?

Who wouldn't be?

There's only two of us

against who knows how many.

Take it easy.

- Relax. - Yeah, I'll relax.

I'll relax.

We've had it tougher than this, right?

Hey, there they are, Sonny.

There's eight of 'em.

You can count.

We'll never make it.

Never make it, Sonny.

Yes, we will.

I'll handle these bums.

You stay here.

If you say so.

I'll stay here.

(gasping)

[Man] This time you've had it, Sonny.

- Yeah? - We got a cement overcoat

- waitin' for ya. - Hey, ya hear that?

I don't wanna end up in a cement bag.

- Relax, jerk. - I'm a jerk, yeah.

- You finished? - Yeah,

now you can say your prayers.

Hand me the typewriter.

(gun rattles)

(gun fires)

(siren wails)

The flatfeet, Sonny, the flatfeet.

Good.

Let's get outta here.

I don't wanna end up in the electric chair, kid.

Please, Sonny, please, Sonny.

Come on, Sonny, please, please!

Relax.

I thought I told you to relax.

(knocking)

(knocking)

Relax.

- You were lucky this time. - Yeah, I was, but you ain't.

The gang war continues. (Chuckles)

Police are convinced that the hospital killings

are a further link in the chain

of gangland crimes, which have rocked the city.

Hmm. (Chuckles)

It's the headlines, huh?

So what about your link in the chain?

Look, there's guys that got it and guys that ain't.

That stubborn ole ape died accidentally.

Fine.

Better than that, you couldn't get it.

Let's go, Angelo will wanna know the score.

[Charlie] Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

who's the gorgeousest one of all?

Me.

Me.

You got a good head on your shoulders.

That, uh, banana peel gag was real genius.

I'm beginnin' to like the Irish.

And you, what did you have to make hamburger

out of them two in the hospital for?

Only knockin' 'em off woulda been enough.

I just followed your advice, boss.

You said not to spare the lead.

Yeah, (chuckles) you hear that?

I'll bet you fellas would like

to have a couple of guys like them

on your payroll, huh?

Stop at the cashier's office on your way out.

There's a couple of grand a piece

waitin' for ya.

- Thanks, boss. - Yeah, thanks.

Good boys, huh?

Okay, let's get down to business.

Hey, boss.

Oh, what is it now?

Judah just called.

Uh huh, well, what'd he say?

- Well... - Well, come on, out with it.

Don't stand there like an idiot.

(chuckles) You convinced now that crime pays off?

(chuckling)

One, two,

three. (phone rings)

Yeah?

Huh?

Okay.

Make it snappy.

Yeah, okay.

One,

two,

skidoo!

The door.

(groaning)

Get the money!

Relax.

Dumb jerk.

[Sonny] And what happened then?

He, he, he said he was a policeman.

He ask for you.

What kind of a guy was he?

- Huh? - He had a terrible

mean, ugly face.

Tall, clear eyes, and a scar right here

on his forehead.

That's the Cobra.

What'd he wanna know?

He wanna know if you make a-me

give you protection.

[Charlie] What'd ya tell him?

To policeman, no tell a lie.

I told him you no gangster.

That you private cops

workin' for the Department of the Justice.

What did he say?

He didn't say, he do.

It was terrible.

(speaks foreign language)

This time we're gonna smart,

that's for sure! (shouting)

- Sorry. - Where are our suitcases?

Here, under the bed.

Oh, if, uh, anybody asks for us,

you haven't seen us, understood?

- Understood. - Yeah.

Sorry, but the door was open.

You can leave your suitcases here.

You'll be getting a whole new wardrobe after today.

(laughing)

Wake up!

You said you'd recognize 'em.

That's right, boss,

I'd recognize 'em anywhere.

We're gonna hold an official lineup.

Bring 'em in.

Are they the ones, in the street clothes?

If you say so, Lieutenant.

I don't like to look at a guy

I'm about to put the finger on.

I can believe that. (Laughs)

Take their photographs, fingerprint 'em,

and take 'em down to my office.

Well.

Mind if I turn that lamp a little?

Of course I mind.

- It bothers me. - That's what it's there for.

- Oh. - Oh.

Does it bother you?

Used to it, huh?

- No police record. - No police record?

That was yesterday.

As of right now, you're accused

of a few odds-and-ends,

such as extortion,

armed robbery,

and double premeditated murder.

And I'm warning you,

that as of this minute,

any thing you say may be held against you.

I advise you to get a good mouthpiece,

and he better be very good.

- Yeah, that's right. - Yeah, it sure is.

Mouthpiece?

What for, I'm innocent.

Who do we extort?

Who'd we rob?

Who'd we kill?

Yeah, who?

You extorted dough from those merchants on 12th Street.

And you robbed your competitors in the racket.

And you shot the aforementioned to shut their traps.

Hmm.

We didn't put the squeeze on no merchants.

We ain't robbed nobody.

And we sure as hill didn't kill a guy

called Fore Mentioned.

That's how it is.

- Obviously you can prove it. - Obviously.

Great, let's hear it.

Uh, Charlie.

When and where did we blast this Fore Mentioned?

That's a point, out with it.

The evening of the,

the evening of the 21st between 10 and 12 PM

at St. Paul's Hospital.

The evening of the 21st.

Yeah, the evening of the 21st.

For your information, smart guy,

on the evenin' of the 21st between 10 and midnight,

him and me was eatin' supper

in the house of one of those Italian merchants,

who, according to you, we extorted the dough from.

What?

Spaghetti and meatballs and raspberry ice cream.

Good.

I made the ice cream myself.

I'm an expert.

Get your ass down to 12 Street

and get those merchants' stories

and make it fast.

Yeah.

- Now! - Now?

Oh, okay, boss.

(grunting)

(chuckling) He fell down.

(thudding) (chuckling)

He hit the door.

By the way,

where were you on the evening of the 21st?

Evening of the 21st.

Yeah, 21st.

- Well I, I was on duty. - Likely story.

Where?

Well, right off the bat like that,

it's not easy to remember.

I gotta think about that.

I'll tell ya where you were.

You were at Senator O'Riordan's place.

That's right.

How'd you know?

I just happened to be passin' by there

on the way to supper with my friends on 12th Street.

Now there's a coincidence for ya.

Life sure plays strange tricks sometimes.

What do you know about the Senator's death?

Well, the newspapers came up with a lot of

guesses.

Yeah, I remember.

Didn't they say it was some kind of conspiracy

or somethin' like that?

Well, the truth is the old lush got tanked

and brought home a couple of hundred dollar floozies.

He had a banana peel in his button hole.

It fell out, he slipped on it,

and busted his noggin open

when he fell into the empty swimming pool.

That's your theory I suppose, huh?

Then it really was an accidental death.

That's right.

The two floozies saw it happen,

but, you know public opinion,

a Senator's always a Senator,

not just any ordinary pipsqueak.

But those two guys at the hospital,

they got put outta the way, huh?

Well, the fact is, you see.

Just a minute, be right back.

Well?

It's a put-up job.

Start all over, boss,

- they're not Angelo's boys. - What?

They're Department of the Interior men

investigatin' illegal methods of police investigation.

On the night of the 21st,

they had supper at the house of one

of these 12th Street merchant guys named Girace.

What is worse is that the other day,

some dumb cop beat up the whole Girace family

- to make 'em talk. - No!

[Cop] That's how it is, boss.

Gentlemen, you may leave with the humble apologies

of the police department.

Your alibi is absolutely beyond doubt.

Now, look, fellas, I know

I should've taken your word for it.

I know I should've believed you.

But you know how it is.

Investigate to the limits of the law.

That's my motto.

And that's a damn good motto.

Just out of curiosity, Lieutenant,

those two Calosemo punks are dead, right?

- I know this isn't ethical. - That's all right, let's go.

But?

What would you have done in my place?

You can't bust those crooks with the means we have.

Yeah, so you locked up those meatballs

and passed the word that they been knocked off,

so as to start a gang war.

It was the only way to clean up the city, believe me.

I believe ya.

(chuckling)

I suppose you'll have to make out a report.

Hey.

Don't worry, as far as we're concerned,

ya, ya locked those guys up

in the cellar for life.

(crashing)

How'd it go, Chief?

Bad for you guys.

It's back to directin' traffic for you.

[Cop] Jiminy!

Hey, you gotta admit,

lettin' 'em think we're investigators was a good idea, huh?

Yeah, but the idea of disappearin' for a while is better.

Hey, they don't waste no time.

What do ya expect?

That's the result of your bright idea

of putting the snatch on Calosemo's boys.

What are you doing?

Wait a minute and you'll see.

- What's that mean? - It means Charlie Smith

the gangster is dead

and Charlie Smith the wrestler is back in town.

What?

You can't leave me in a mess like this.

I ain't leavin' you.

You're the one who wants to stay.

- What? - You heard me.

You better start gettin' smart like me, buddy.

You're not cut out for this game.

No way.

Remember what I been tellin' ya.

You'll change your tune when you find out...

Get your ass outta the rackets.

You better stay away from me, you dirty Irishman!

(cheerful instrumental music)

Angelo's havin' a hell of a time with that kid.

Guess what I got in my pocket.

(speaking foreign language)

What a beautiful baby.

Look, no matter what anybody tells ya,

best food for the baby is mother's milk.

Yeah, look at me, I was raised on it.

[Charlie] Anybody home?

(fleshy smack) (groaning)

[Thug] Oh jeez, sorry.

Get your mitts off the bombardier.

- Drop the rod. - Let the kid go first.

(baby cries)

- Now drop the rod. - Uh uh.

This may cost me my hide,

but neither you nor them is gonna leave here alive.

Let's settle accounts somewheres else.

The port suit ya?

Okay, gimme the gun.

When we're outside.

You go first, then those rats,

then me and the Cobra.

Uh uh, copper.

Cobra comes out last.

Let's do it this way.

First those rats then the Cobra,

then me and you together.

When we're in a car, I'll give you my rod.

Not before.

Okay.

Keep your mouth closed.

Or I'll shut 'em for keeps.

[Charlie] Lock yourselves in and don't open up

for anybody for any reason, you understand?

(baby cries)

We better change cars, boss.

I saw Judah around.

[Charlie] Let's go.

(cheerful instrumental music)

So, Charlie Smith the wrestler's back in town again, huh?

How do ya like that?

You'll pay for this, you dirty phony Irishman.

(car rumbles)

(knocking)

(knocking)

Hey, it's me Sonny!

(whistling)

(gasping)

Angelo.

Take it easy, nobody'll disturb us here.

This is my territory.

I hear ya.

Where are the boys?

Waiting for us at the docks.

I want 'em to see the execution.

That way if any of 'em get any ideas

about double-crossing me,

they'll think twice about it when they see what it buys.

What's the name of the game this time, boss?

I had in mind a nice, slow drowning.

- What do you think? - Okay with me.

Just a matter of a half hour's agony.

I thought it would be worse.

(laughing)

(horn blares)

Hey, boys, get a rope.

Hey, hey!

Have you, have you, have you?

Take it easy, man.

Catch your breath first.

Have you seen, have you seen,

- have you seen? - You mind if I sit down?

Have you seen a car full of gangsters?

- No! - No!

They're gonna kill somebody.

Huh, where?

Here in the port.

Help me find them.

- You gotta! - Okay.

You go that way, and we'll look over this way.

Thanks.

[Thug] How 'bout this?

[Angelo] No, it's too big.

[Cobra] Hey, boss, there ain't no rope.

What?

Ah, fill him full of lead, for Pete's sake.

It's the same difference.

No, it's not, you idiot.

Now find a rope!

Try and make me forget who brought

this Irishman into the family.

[Cobra] Find a rope some place, you guys!

(panting)

[Sonny] Jerk.

Must be some saint up there

tryin' to save you.

But I can wait.

Found a rope, boss.

[Angelo] It's too short, you idiot!

I said find a rope.

[Cobra] But, boss, there's none around.

Well you better look again!

Won't be long now.

What's the matter, scared?

Hey, Cobra, there's your rope over there.

- Hey, go get it. - Come on, you guys!

[Charlie] Hurry it up, Smiley's gettin' nervous.

What did you call me?

Smiley.

Drowning's gonna take longer than you think.

(crashing)

[Cobra] Come on, come on, get a move on.

[Charlie] Nice knowin' ya.

[Angelo] You won't get away with this!

[Charlie] If I don't, we'll have a long drink together.

Hold it, you fools!

[Charlie] Well come on, you dummy, start shootin'!

(machine gun rattles)

Throw down your guns!

Well?

- Do what he says! - Throw 'em in the water!

(splashing)

(cheerful instrumental music)

Okay.

And now lie down on your faces

and put your hands behind your heads.

(cheerful instrumental music)

You got here just in time.

If I hadn't thought of those containers.

[Sonny] Containers, what containers?

[Charlie] What do you mean what containers?

What containers?

Didn't ya hear 'em hittin' the pier?

What is this?

I save your life, you wanna start an argument?

Look, I didn't hear a damn thing.

Stay down!

It's empty.

Drown 'em.

(chuckling)

- Charlie, let's go. - Aw, relax, there's only 15.

Yeah.

But I can't swim.

Yeah, me neither.

- Huh? - Huh?

Come on!

(laughing)

(chuckling)

(panting)

[Charlie] There's only 15.

They're really lookin' for trouble.

Yeah, they sure are.

Let's get 'em.

(screaming)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(grunting)

(shouting)

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Thug] Go, go, go, let's get 'em!

They're behind the boxes!

Over here!

You just wait!

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Charlie] Hiya, Smiley.

(cheerful instrumental music)

And stay there.

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Sonny] Charlie.

(cheerful instrumental music)

Charlie!

Yeah, what do ya want?

Here's some more.

You just wait.

Take care of 'em yourself.

(cheerful instrumental music)

You just wait.

They're nuts, kid, nuts.

I'll bring 'em back when you're ready.

You always gotta show off.

(cheerful instrumental music)

(fleshy smack)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(crashing)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(shattering)

Charlie!

Hey, after this it's cookies and milk.

(cheerful instrumental music)

(grunting and thudding)

(chuckling)

(screaming)

(cheerful instrumental music)

Just you wait and see!

(shouting)

(grunting)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(fleshy smacks)

(shattering)

(cheerful instrumental music)

Hey!

(screaming)

Charlie!

Outta the way.

(smacking)

(screaming)

(cheerful instrumental music)

I'll be right back!

(cheerful instrumental music)

Kill him!

You just wait, I'll show you.

(cheerful instrumental music)

[Angelo] Get up!

He can't.

(groaning)

(fleshy thuds)

(shouting)

All right, hold it, everybody.

Get your hands up, all of ya.

[Cops] Hands up.

I wouldn't smile like that, if I was you.

You just wait until you get outta jail.

- Take 'em away. - Where to, boss?

Ah, come on.

(chuckling)

What's so funny?

I'm under the impression

you're in bad trouble, boys.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah?

[Macintosh] Take a look at what I found in the files.

The customer is Big Mike Baloney,

the killer who works for Angelo.

Good Humor Man?

Yeah, Good Humor Man.

I was on duty that day,

disguised as an ice cream vendor.

And who the hell are you?

Raspberry ice cream cone.

Yeah, until you have a few words with the judge.

The three of us can give the judge

the whole story together.

That sounds like blackmail.

- Mm hmm. - Mm hmm.

Goodbye.

- Bye, copper. - Be seein' ya.

Ah, don't take it so bad.

It had to finish like this.

Crime don't pay.

Maybe you're right, but.

Well, so long Mr. Good Humor Man.

I'm comin' back through those damn ropes.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe I'll join the police force.

Stop your dreamin'.

You got too soft a heart.

You know it.

- You think so? - Mm.

Hey, maybe I could join the army.

Yeah, sure you will.

(cheerful instrumental music)

23.

Skidoo.

Nice guy.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the main event tonight,

Galeck the Oarsman

at last fighting to reach America,

crossed the ocean on his shield,

versus the Mystery Man.

Our referee Jim Baxter.

(crowd shouts)

Try and make this fast, huh?

Those fine folks are waiting for us for supper.

Spaghetti and meatballs, raspberry ice cream.

Raspberry ice cream?

If I get there in time to make it.

- Oh, skidoo. - (bell rings)

(shouting and clapping)

(thudding)

A one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven,

eight, nine,

ten, he's out.

(applause)

The winner, the Mystery Man.

(bones crunch)

(shouting)

Come on, come on.

Hey!

* Wine and whisky

* If only they knew

* What the price was

* And how much to pay

* And just to have a little drop

* Oh

* Oh

* Oh

* Down the street

* They watch us goin' through

* Wine and whisky

* If only they knew

* What the price was

* And how much to pay

* And just to have a little drop

* Oh

* Oh

* Oh

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