Original subtitles

I'm coming

Tell me, what do you usually send?

I don't know either, I help mom to send

You often have to do these things, come give me a kiss

This is a big street, don't mess around

Annoying

You won't let me kiss you even if you promised to marry me?

It's him

Stop, chase him quickly

Don't go, where are you running to?

Stop

Over there

Hurry up, hurry up

This way, this way

Stop, stop

Kill him

Don't run

Hurry up, hurry up

Jump, jump, jump

Don't move

Kill him

Why do you want to kill my fiance?

He's your fiance? Then who am I?

Husband

Yes, start the car

The US Customs has been secretly investigating him

If we don't kill him

You and I will be in trouble later

What? Can't bear to?

[Ghost Punting]

Listen well

The lesson for today is Confucius

You tell me

What is he most famous for in China?

Can we skip class today?

Of course not

If you don't use your brain every day, you'll turn into a pig

Quickly, what's his profession?

Confucianism

No

Philosopher

Not that either

He can't possibly be an archaeologist, right?

Of course not

He's probably not an athlete either

You can go to hell

You're playing with words

Acting like an old scholar

Even an idiot knows he's China's most famous elder

What

Does that count?

Of course it counts, whatever you say

Luohan fruit, I won't be coming home for dinner tonight

Why?

I have a date with a beauty

Luohan fruit, if Mary Susie Lucy calls looking for me

Just say I went out early

Got it, say you're out

Forget it, just tell them I went out to dinner with Linda

Let them give up

How impressive

Showing off

What are you showing off?

Hello, Ali

See you at the usual place, be there or be square

Okay, bye

One by one, they're all pretentious

Him

Hello

Ah Chang, what made you think of calling me?

You're hanging up on me, really?

You just got married yesterday

I'm better off

Thank you so much

What? You want to see me right now?

Okay, okay, where?

Kowloon Tong

Okay, I'll be right there

What, a kiss?

Okay, a kiss it is

Kiss, how disgusting

You bunch of bastards

Always think you're so great

Okay, let's go to the offshore island to play tomorrow

Let's see who's more capable

But I've made an appointment with Ah Chang

You guys figure it out

I'm going to meet my Linda

I'm going to meet my beauty

As for me, let my beauty come to me

I'm also going to meet a beautiful woman

What are you looking at, old woman, aren't you leaving?

Dead old hag

Even the old woman doesn't like you

You don't even look at yourself in the mirror

You shameless ghost

Miss, can we be friends?

This is a free country

First say if we can go or not?

Where do you want to go?

DISCO

That's too lame

Karaoke

Are you not okay?

If you're okay, then I'm okay

Anita Mui

Desire Beast Street

Sally Yeh

Autumn comes and goes

Billie Tam

Grey

It's too old-fashioned, still grey

Then, colored is okay, right?

Don't you have anything fresher?

Wait a moment

Take your time to flip, Billie Tam

Stop right there

What kind of person are you, getting upset after only one song?

How many can you remember?

I can't be bothered to argue with you

Can I not give face, okay?

Why, no adults at home?

Fine, you're tough

Now it's the other way around, I ask and you answer

Okay

Zhou Xuan

We're guessing the charts

You'd think we're doing archaeology

Don't even know Zhou Xuan

Bai Guang

I'm still the moon

Haven't heard this one either?

Ge Lan

Char siu bao

Right, right, right, char siu bao

I’ll char siu your xiaolongbao

Crazy

No standard

What are you doing? Old hag

She's just a little girl

Who knows those people

Is it Zhou Xuan?

The moon shines a thousand miles, expressing heartfelt thoughts

Alright, alright

Please leave quickly

I've said you're not my type

Everybody, hit the road

You go back and pine alone

Are you leaving or not? If you're not leaving, then I'm leaving

Why, of all the people, do you have to ask me out?

Because you're taking a day off tomorrow and you're free

So you're saying you're kind and compassionate

Afraid I'll be lonely, spending my days like years

Actually, because I like being with you

That's why I asked you out

What's the matter?

What could possibly be wrong?

Just swimming together

BBQ, chat

Just that

A long night

We surely won't be talking till dawn, right?

Then you can do whatever you want

The truth is revealed at the end of the road

This intention is obvious to everyone

The worst thing is

Some things you want to do, I don't want to do

What should we do then?

At that time, you can do whatever you want

In the wild

No one can hear your cries for help

There are five big guys

I'm just a weak girl

What can I do?

Each of them will bring a girlfriend

That's even more dangerous

When everyone is eager to try

How can I keep myself clean?

Don't talk like that

We don't necessarily have to mimic others

Being close to red makes one red

Surrounded by indecent talk

How can you uphold yourself?

Don't worry

I will never take advantage of you

But I don't want to

Those who fish can only envy the fish

Then you just don't look

You hope I join the corrupt

No

You can join but not be corrupt

Is that okay?

Why bother then?

What exactly do you want?

I don't want anything

It's always been what you want

I just want to ask you out tomorrow

To spend a vacation with my friends on Lantau Island

You just need to say if you're going or not

Okay?

Going is difficult and not going is also difficult

This is really a thousand worries, weighing on my heart

Forget it, just pretend I didn't say it

You don't even need to consider it

How much is it?

What are you buying this for?

There's beauty in books

Bringing a book is better than bringing a person

At least it won't nag me

I'll take a look when I feel like it

If I don't feel like it, I'll just put it away

Unfortunately, this isn't for reading

It's for listening

This is a cassette for learning Japanese

Then save it

I'll go to the market and buy some vegetables to bring

Bye

Miss, give you the cassette

Okay

Thank you, miss, no need to be polite

Xi Menqing is about to possess me

Pan Jinlian is possessing her

Brother Qing, let's go

I'm called Sister Lian

You can only drink one cup of coffee, okay?

Whatever you say

Don't be fooled by my flamboyant appearance

And don't be intoxicated by my sweet talk

A person's appearance is just like a mirage

It's the inner cultivation that's truly worth loving

How much do you have of it?

You're talking about cultivation?

I read Xu Zhimo's work

What kind of stuff?

Poetry

Don't you dare recite it!

I even wrote a poem especially for you

Uncle

Do you still remember we used to go boating?

My aunt took me there

How's she doing now?

She got married and had three kids

Spends most of her time at home watching TV and playing mahjong

How time flies

It's been twenty years

But one thing hasn't changed

That's my aunt still being five years younger than you

Some people age with time

And some people remain young

Isn't it that the body ages but the heart doesn't?

You're really humorous when you talk

Not humorous, just straightforward

I didn't expect young girls nowadays like nostalgia

Fortunately, I can keep up with the trend

Still in touch with the times

Maybe some girls do

But I'm not one of them

Will we go for a BBQ tomorrow?

Be careful not to get inflamed, Uncle, I appreciate it

But I think it would be better if you played mahjong with my aunt

Amy, what's your purpose in going out with me?

Okay, tell my aunt

She made a wise choice

I wonder if there's a car

Hey, hey, hey, sir

Sorry, my apologies

Are you blind?

Strange

How did you know I'm blind?

It's too dangerous to stand here

Come on, follow me

Normally when I go out it's not like this

I always have five bodyguards around me

ten servants following me

I just don't like that kind of life

That's why I snuck out

I originally had a blind man's cane

Who knew I ended up bumping into a robber

I lost my money and my cane

That's really unfortunate

Yeah

What about your family?

Didn't I tell you not to mention my family?

I don't want people to find out I'm Li Ka-shing's son

Li Ka-shing's son?

I'm sorry

No problem, no problem

Let me feel you first

I'm not very beautiful, just average

I'll help you cross the street

I don't need it

Come on, I'll hold your hand

Let's cross the street together

Next Friday I'm going to have surgery

The doctor said I have a 99% chance

I hope after the bandages are removed

The first person I see will be you

I think that's impossible

Because next week, I'm going abroad with my husband

Husband?

What's that for?

Husband means... well, husband

But you can't see

My husband is standing behind you right now

I'm really sorry

I can't see with my eyes

But I can feel it

Your husband is tall and strong

I wish you two all the best

Sorry

What a headache, I don't even know if there's a car

Sir, be careful

I'm sorry, sir, can't you see?

I'm blind

Are you alright, sir?

It's fine

I won't look at you, I'm really blind

Miss

Let me feel if you're beautiful

You dirty old man

Pretending to be blind to deceive people

This is a lesson for you

You wicked woman, you even steal from a blind man

Don't you have any conscience?

How about that

It's your mother's

Where's your girlfriend?

She flew away

You guys don't have one either?

What the hell are you asking?

If there isn't, there isn't

It's not like it's going to kill anyone

Hurry up with the quail dish

You fat bastard

You caused me to crash, do you know that?

Are you kidding me?

You're the one who caused it

No big deal, you caused me to fall there

Now the car is wrecked

And I'm injured

Give me two thousand or I'll beat you to death

Don't be so fierce, bro

Who's your brother?

You son of a bitch

You won't compensate, will you?

Won't you?

Can you be reasonable?

What else is there to say?

Will you pay or not?

Will you?

Go and see what's going on

Will you pay?

Bring it, bring it

Do you want me to bring it to you?

You want to die, don't you?

Even my brother, you dare to touch

Are you kidding me?

Looking for death

I'll flatten you

Get out of here, roll

Poke again

I can't poke him from above

I'll break your dog's legs

I'll poke below

I don't believe I can't poke him to death

Quail dish, are you okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine

As long as you're okay

Let's go, let's go

It's all thanks to us brothers that they were driven away

Let's go

There are some beautiful girls over there

We've hit the jackpot this time

Then I'll go and set one up

Go and fish, you deadhead

Still, use the old method as before

Yes, cooperate well

Don't pull me

Don't pull me, let me die

This place is for business

Guys, don't be like this

Boss, he's about to commit suicide

You're too inconsiderate

It's early in the morning, it's a good luck time

Boss, don't mention the early morning

Let me die

The early morning is bothering him too

Early morning means dawn, right?

Once he hears the word dawn

Lei Jin will be overcome with grief

Dawn

The singer Dawn?

They are brothers

Alright, Lei Jin, you don't have to die

There's a girl who feels sorry for you

Who?

This one

Are you Dawn's brother?

Miss, here's the thing

If it wasn't for my throat infection back then

And I couldn't go to the singing competition with my younger brother

There would probably be only Lei Jin

And no Dawn

That song of his, "Sorry, I Love You"

I was the one who sang it for him behind the scenes

Who knew that he'd become famous now

Working day and night

Even lost his voice

As his brother, how could I not be sad?

It's okay

Whether it's dawn or tight, it's the same, right?

Because the singing is nice

Thank you, thank you

It's my turn

Come here for a moment

When you hear Liu De Stay, what do you think of?

Andy Lau

Right

I really like him

He's my younger brother

Really? You don't look alike at all

I still remember if I hadn't had a high fever that day

And didn't go to the training class

He wouldn't be here today

Tell me about him

Was he smart when he was little?

I really like to hear it

I really like him

Hurry up and tell me

At that time

Miss, my name is Zhou Shi

Stephen Chow's older brother

Stephen Chow, that's right

But I'm his younger brother

You don't look alike

I have a picture as proof

I have Stephen Chow's picture too

No, this is me

We're twins

Really?

Really, same mother

Really

When we were nine

One day

Our house suddenly caught fire

I wrapped Star in tin foil

And ran out

But I didn't wrap myself in tin foil

So I became this dark, a little

A little wrinkled, a little ugly

Really?

Hey you guys want to pick up girls here

Go away

Or I'll call my big brother

Who's the big brother?

Who's so great

See for yourself

Liu Jialiang

Master Liu Jialiang

Sorry

Really, or false

Hurry up

It's them

You guys are quite fierce

Brother

This matter

Is completely unrelated to me

Too unloyal

Dare to say it has nothing to do with you

It has nothing to do with all of us

This matter is actually him

Quail dish, take care

Take care, you fight slowly

Goodbye, goodbye

This is my fault

Forget it, forget it

Who's letting you go

After this punch, let it go, alright?

Go away

Go to hell

How could this happen?

Your turn to play cards

You're so ugly

Are you in heat? Why are you shaking the cards?

Can we not play?

This small card loses you dead

Just flicking your ears

Hurry up and play

Let me think about it

Wait till you're done shaking then call me, straw bag

Are you going to play or not?

The thing is

I'll play a straight flush first

And it's the biggest straight

Then play four Aces

You must call big

Then play four twos

You won't be able to play a single card

One house penalty four times, thank you

I'll strangle you for cheating

Bull Demon King, on quail dish's body

Does it look like?

The show starts

Where is the lady and the child?

So tired

Lu Dongbin

Son of a turtle

On rhino hide's body

What are the characteristics of Lu Dongbin?

Playing the flute

Does Lu Dongbin play the flute?

Dog, dog on ginseng's body

Dog bites Lu Dongbin

Don't come here, be careful I kick you to death

Are you kidding me?

You can really bite

Why are you kicking so hard?

Said it was playing with him

What are you guys doing?

All under my control

Control your dead head

You really think you can spell?

If you're so capable

Call Pan Jinlian to come on Luo Han Guo's body

Pan Jinlian

No, I don't want to

On Luo Han Guo's body

I beg you

No, no

Pan Jinlian, on Luo Han Guo's body

Help

Did you hear that? It's really Pan Jinlian

Stop it

Pan Jinlian screams so ugly

Ah, you ghost

Accompany me to take a picture outside

What's with the crowd?

Why call me, am I easy to bully?

Just go, you

Three or five people can't kill you

What are you afraid of?

You're right

You're not afraid of ghosts?

People aren't afraid, so why fear ghosts

I'll accompany you

This used to be a Thai restaurant, huh

Isn't that thing used for suppressing ghosts

That's better

You go upstairs and take a look

If you see a ghost

Come down and tell me

How about it

There's no ghost upstairs at all

Of course not if you didn't go up

You go inside and take a look

Go ahead

I've looked

There's nothing

You go in and see

Nothing at all

Only a ball of light

Ah, that's right

That's ghost fire

What are they doing then

Listen to the sound

They seem to be frolicking

When ghosts are frolicking

They turn a blind eye

And turn a deaf ear

Really?

Yes

But well

Just cover it with a yellow cloth

He will show his true form

Go ahead

Help

Just on time

What are you going to do

Hurry up and untie me

Help

No

Just on time

Hurry up and go

Haven't seen you guys in such a long time

Why are you still so crazy

We really ran into a ghost

And it's a female ghost

Don't believe it, ask Quail Dish

Ran into a ghost, look for a Taoist priest

Our police station does not handle such cases

Actually

We don't know if she's really a ghost

But she's a woman

And she's very promiscuous

How do you know she's promiscuous

Isn't she promiscuous

She's chasing you two

Even you guys are being chased by her

She's not promiscuous unless she's crazy

Don't know if she's promiscuous

But it's definitely a female ghost

Wait till the photos are developed and I'll show you

Is there such a thing

Do you think we should send someone to take a look

If you send a male cop

I'm afraid he'll get the wrong idea

Yes

Since it involves women

Of course I'll send a female officer

Right, right, find one who is young and beautiful

Bawang Hua

Friendship

Help out

Okay

Then I'll send Leung Kam Tuk over

She's very familiar with that area

Grew up there since she was little

Those sea people huh

Yes

They all grew up at sea

Women, older, uglier, it doesn't matter

The worst thing is a fishy smell

Yes

I sent her to investigate

Not for you guys to take advantage of

Can't even touch the nose

What tofu are you going to eat

In my opinion, we should send a ghostbuster squad

That's the plan, it's decided

You guys go back first

Quail Dish I told them to go back

But I didn't call you

Alright

Then you stay here alone

Let Bawang Hua play with you slowly

Poor thing

Have a seat

Okay

Afraid I'll eat you

No

Last week at our social club

I drew two tickets

It's a two-day night voucher for Honey Lake Resort

You won't refuse, right

No

That's good

The date is this afternoon

So soon

Strike while the iron is hot

Have you taken your medicine

What medicine

Nothing

Right

Don't randomly give my grandma medicine

Grandma

Yeah, you're going with my grandma just the two of you?

I'm going with your grandma?

Right

Red bean soup is ready

Should we save some for the lady cop?

Save your dead head

Pour it out back to feed the ants

You're too inhuman

What do you mean by "inhuman"?

We men, as long as we stand firm

To deal with those ugly women

Then all the ugly women will automatically disappear

The world will become more beautiful

What if all the ugly women also stand firm?

To deal with us these ugly men

What would happen then?

It's not us, it's you

I won't drink it, I need to go back to Kowloon

Excuse me

Wait a minute

She's really too ugly

It's me, it scared you guys

Leave it to me

You guys go back to the room

Hello everyone

Please come in

Who's called "Rhino Skin"? It's me

Just call me Romeo

My name is Valentino

My name is Gold Water, I'm also from the sea

Big Mountain, huh

Is it my turn yet?

Hard work, hard work, welcome, welcome

I'm Rhino Skin

The person in charge and head of the house here

Feel free to sit

Rhino Skin, is it?

Your face is thicker than a rhino's skin

Officer Hu told us

Among you guys

Except for Luo Han Guo who we might slightly believe

The rest of you including Big Mountain

Are simply untouchable

Officer Hu might have made a mistake

We have turned over a new leaf years ago

Yes, we four have converted

Yes

We even often become vegetarians

Yes, the doctor said eating beef would cause pimples

Sorry,

Who are these three?

Let me introduce

Cold as frost, gorgeous as snow

This one is

Even simpler

Two words, Popsicle

Or also known as ice-lolly

They've been trained by me for nine months

They know what it means to keep oneself pure

They also know what is a beast in human clothing

What is a beast in human clothing?

I've never heard of it?

Look in the mirror

So I advise you all

Don't waste your mind

On crooked ideas

Never thought about it

Forget it, American Ginseng

Once a thief, always a thief

People won't look at you differently

just because you've turned over a new leaf

Forget it, think whatever you want

Alright, since I was once a playboy

I have to suffer this torment

God, why was I born so charming?

Ximen Qing, why did you reincarnate in me?

I mean, what about the red bean soup?

Red bean soup

Let the ladies drink it

We few have no right to drink it

Give us some face

Alright, whether you've really turned over a new leaf or not

Or if it's fake

Since there's so much sincerity

It's not nice to reject people from a thousand miles away

We'll add it ourselves

Leung Kam Tuk

Her real name is Leung Kam Tuk

Boring

So earthy

What for

If we knew they would add it themselves

There's eye medicine in the cupboard

Brothers

I don't know if I did right

I put the whole bottle of sleeping pills in it

Really

Luo Han Guo

I've said it before, you are our good brother

What is this, look

Sleeping pills

You even put the bottle in

Teach you a lesson later

First listen to what they say

We'll outwit them

As long as they dare to touch us

They're dead

Let's go

Is it good?

It's okay

It's passable

A bit too sweet

Don't be picky about free stuff

Leung Kam Tuk knows how to get along

So tired

Remember

Don't sleep here

Careful, I might climb up

You dare

I feel so dizzy

Sleep here

No need

Can't do it, I'm going to the room

The sleeping pill bottle is also very effective

They all fell asleep

Let's go out for a while

Let's go

Hey, Luo Han Guo

Let's go

What are you trying to do

Such a waste

What do we do now?

What do you mean, what do we do?

They're just pretending to be dizzy

If you're not afraid to die, just go up

Then I'll give it a try

You want to die being so impulsive

I am easily impulsive

Calm down and use your brain

Then I'll use my head to try

Calm down, calm down

You can lip-read, see what they're saying

Okay

Right, listen up

Wait a bit, one person will go to shut the main breaker

The four of us will rush in and touch

Touch anywhere

After touching, just stand against the wall

Without evidence

No one can say we did it

In fact

We did touch

Touched

Not sure if it'll work

It will definitely work

Let's go, let's go

Who to touch

The one in a skirt is convenient

Right, she's the most whiny

What are you guys doing

Why are you torturing us like this

Why

Don't cry

We won't tell

I just felt something was wrong

Your mouth stinks

Why are you licking someone's toes

What's the matter, what's wrong with a lick

Lick again, lick again

Anyway, you have already licked it

Keeping it doesn't make any difference

You lick again

What are you laughing at

Laugh again, I'll lick you

Captain, we're all ready

Yes

How about it

Is there really a ghost

My brother asked me to wait a bit

Hurry up

If we don't hear a ghost cry, they'll leave

If I find out

We're having a meeting here

Once the photos are developed

We'll have evidence

Develop your dead head

Bragging so much you fooled yourself

Is there really a ghost

Even if there is, so what

So what should we do now

Can we find someone to pretend to be a ghost and howl

Okay, I agree

Who will pretend

For the sake of fairness

We can play rock paper scissors

Okay

One, two

What's it to you

Ready, one two three

Throw, why aren't you throwing

Can I throw scissors

What do you think

Then I'll also throw cloth

Throwing cloth, all four of us throw cloth, we'll be guessing till dawn

You go to hell

I can only throw rock now

Right

How about it

You don't know

There are so many cockroaches, flies, and rats here

I'll go catch them first

I'll go develop the photos

Then show you

Honestly, is there really a ghost here

Why would I lie to you, there really is

Okay, we'll wait another five minutes

If there's nothing, we'll leave at once

Is this fatty's meat tasty

I'll help you get it done

Be careful

Come with me

Don't be scared

These two young and strong ones

Which one do you like

I want both

Don't be scared, hurry up, come up

There are more in the back

This is great now

There are four women

Just grab one and my life will be better

What do you want to do

Babbling

It's a real ghost

There's a ghost

Calm down, let's go upstairs to look

Upstairs

The sound clearly came from that side

I'm making a feint to the east but attacking in the west

You're not scared, are you

Dead duck's mouth is hard

Who says I'm scared

Let's go

How about it

The chicken is in the cage, strike while the iron is hot

Alright, stop talking

Pretend to be ghosts together

Quick, quick, quick

Come on

We three will attack

You guys flank from both sides

Me, I'll hold the center

After we scare them down

Brother, then we

I thought about it

That little pervert, Luohan Guo

Why didn't he come with us?

There must be a problem

Your side, my side

We have photos as proof

Did he go to the haunted house?

I'm not that stupid

Three people pretend to be ghosts

Those women get scared

Who will they want to hug?

Hurry up and chase

Who is it?

Who knows who it is?

Anyway, it's a pervert

Chase him

Come on, hero, save the beauty

Help!

There's a ghost!

Where's the ghost?

Don't be scared, I'm here to keep all ghosts at bay

I'm so scared!

Don't be afraid

Don't be afraid, I'm here

My eyes are blurry

I'm dizzy!

Dizzy? Then I'll carry you

If only we had a bed, that would be great

There's one next door

Really?

That's great!

I'm so lucky

It's so comfortable

I'm also comfortable

I want you to be with me

Help!

I'm scared to death

Catch him

Don't hit me, it's me!

What happened? Is there a ghost?

There's a ghost

What happened?

It's none of my business! What ghost?

Let go of me! Let go of me! What are you doing?

Help! Help!

Don't come over!

Handcuff them all

Help!

Still don't believe there's a ghost?

We have photographic evidence!

Don't believe it, take a look

Show him

Look

What's this for?

Ladies, I have a small request

Please take off your underwear

Let me possess you

To help me get out

Otherwise, I can't get out

Don't leave!

Help!

Quickly help him!

You can't let him kiss you!

Your yang energy will be drained

You must kiss him back

Kiss her until she faints, kiss her until she collapses

Kiss her until she's ecstatic!

Otherwise, we can't escape

Kiss her until she faints, kiss her until she collapses

Kiss her until she's ecstatic!

Come help

Take off your underwear, let me possess you

Help!

Hurry up, don't be so petty

Hurry up and take it off

Hurry up

No, no!

So you're not wearing underwear

If I had known, I wouldn't have worked so hard

Shut up, I'm not raping you

Just possessing you

That maggot is very nourishing

Eating it can boost your virility

It’s disgusting

Eat it, don’t be afraid

Eat it

Good

Suck me again

Hurry up and go

Let's go

You don't look like you're possessed by a ghost

Right

It's real!

She's possessed by a male ghost!

It's easy to distinguish between males and females, I can tell at a glance

Let me see

The top doesn't look like a man

I don't know about the bottom

Let me see the bottom

I'm warning you

Don't take advantage of our captain

But he said it's male ghost

We're saying a male ghost possessed her

Not that our captain is a male ghost

If you misbehave again

I won't be polite to you

Then we won't care

Let her fend for herself

No we can't, being possessed by a ghost is a big deal

No problem, we'll take her back to the priest

What? Go back? Won't it be too late?

By then, her belly will be big

What are you talking about, you're all crazy

The whole man went in

How could she not be pregnant?

Don't worry, I won't touch her

It's over, she's really possessed

What should we do?

Then it's okay

Let's quickly figure out a way to drive this ghost out

Then hurry up

Bro, help me take off my clothes

Hold on

Shouldn't we first step aside?

Otherwise, how will we explain this to the captain later?

Please, hurry up

We are acting under orders now

Don't mess around

Mind your own business!

It's none of your business!

What do you mean, mind my own business?

I'll have you know, I'm a man

Touch, touch, touch

Can't you touch yourselves?

Exactly!

If you want to touch, go touch those three women

I know that!

If I could have touched them, I would have by now

I racked my brains all night and still didn't touch them

If you want my help

Then you must first help me

Sure, we can do that

Madam

How are you doing?

Oh no, go save your captain first

I've released her soul

I don't know where it's gone

Find out where she is

She possessed me!

Hold her tight, hold her tighter

Hold me tight, hold me tighter

Wow, that was resolved quickly

Come over here!

Hold him

Hold him tighter!

He possessed me!

Hurry up and go!

Hold him

What should I do?

All three of you, hold him together

Not just the three of you

What are you doing?

It's always like this

Everything is about you

And never about me

I don't want to play anymore

I'm telling you

No one was possessed

It's all a lie

It was your captain

It was the male ghost in your captain that was tricking you

I'm not playing anymore

Regarding the contact between us just now

I'm willing to take responsibility

You're worse than an animal, you deserve to be hit

Are you asking for it?

What are you going to do?

It's none of my business!

Grandma, you can go now

I can't accompany you to the disco

Partridge vegetable, it's us!

Open the door quickly!

Hurry up, open the door!

Open the door quickly!

I'm coming, I'm coming

Open the door quickly!

You're so slow

Why did you bring the Invisible Man here?

Sit, sit, sit

Close the curtains, I'll go get something

Sit here, sit here

Use scissors to cut off the gauze on the head first

I'll close the curtains

Rhinoceros skin

The head is here, this is the chest

What do you care? I want to cut from the bottom, is that a problem?

Then why don't you just start cutting from the foot?

Keep nagging and I'll cut you

Go close the curtains

Stop messing around

Hurry up and cut off the gauze

Let me get some air

I'm suffocating

I've never seen a man with such a big chest

I'm sorry

No problem, feel free to touch

After all, it's not mine

Who is this person?

He's that female police captain

But now

She's possessed by the male ghost you saw that day

So

Her appearance is that of the female police captain

But inside, it's not

I see

I get it, I get it

Why haven't you finished yet?

Come and help!

Watch him, Partridge vegetable

What are you going to do?

We're going to shock you until your soul leaves

Hold him down, Partridge vegetable

Fat guy, don't let them shock me

You can't bear to see a woman being bullied, right?

It's you we're shocking, not her

He's not you

I'm not her

Shocking me is shocking her

The one who suffers is her

I'm a ghost, I'm not afraid

Alright, come on

Where should we clip it?

The most sensitive place

The most sensitive place is the fingertips?

Go die, if you don't know, don't talk nonsense

Are fingertips sensitive?

Then where?

Try hooking your fingers in your ears

Which part is itchier?

Where?

Mouth

You idiot!

Hurry up and help!

You're going to electrocute her

Of course not!

He's a ghost

At most, he'll just get scorched

Just wait and see

Hold him down, Arhat fruit

Switch on

Pull the plug, pull the plug

Pull it out

She's going to turn into a roast suckling pig

Wake up, Arhat fruit

What are you trying to do, rape?

Rape? I wish, but

No, you're misunderstanding

Yeah, misunderstanding?!

What's going on, am I alright?

Of course you're fine

You had a blast just now, groping all over

Groping? I don't know anything about it

I want more, I want more

Not satisfied yet?

Wait till I tell Officer Hu

I will have you all arrested and put in prison

You really don't appreciate kindness

Are you possessed by a ghost?

Possessed by a ghost!

It would be real if you were possessed by a person

Have you seen him?

He's right over there

Stop pretending

It was all staged by you

Where are my people?

Sorry

They were sold off to work in a brothel

Just wait to be arrested

Captain, we have photo evidence

There really is a ghost

Alright, I'll take it back as evidence

Proving you all are perverts

It's okay

Anyway, the moment I was born, I was indecent to a nurse

Alright, I'll go back and report to Officer Hu

Let's see how she handles it

Wait a moment, I also need to see Officer Hu

To send her my regards

What are you doing?

You guys have really been working hard

It's like waking from a dream

Dreams leave no traces

Only we seem to have been abandoned

Dreaming and being abandoned

It's like wetting the bed in dreams

Wetting your dead head!

What about me?

You're still here?

I'll electrocute you

Ladies and Gentlemen

I've been dead for a long time

I just haven't been laid to rest

You'd better die sooner and be reborn

It's already been a long time

Died young

I would like to ask you all for a favor

You still need our help?

What's in it for us?

If you help me, I will help you

Of course there are benefits with the help of a ghost

Don't come over here

Don't talk too much

In short, we help you

You help us, OK?

OK

Officer, do you think he looks like him?

Quite similar

According to D脿sh膩n

This photo was taken in that haunted house

Yes, officer

To be honest

We should have seen it that day

But someone was playing a ghost

Thought it was a real ghost

I was really scared

Then they said that the ghost possessed me

Do you believe it?

How could I believe it, officer?

If it weren't for that night

I was really dizzy

I would have arrested them

It's not too late now

Since they were able to take his photo

Then they must have contact

By your words

Are they drug trafficking?

Even if they are, they must be exploited

Although they are idle

Unemployed and lazy

But they would never do this

This case is handed over to you

You go to monitor them

Report to me at any time if there's any situation

Yes, officer

Look carefully

Tell me later who has what card

Coming, coming

But this mahjong

Hurry, everyone is waiting for you

Coming, coming

Talking to the herbs

Mumbling to ghosts

I think he's seriously ill

It's time to take the medicine

After playing eight rounds you will know

Eight rounds? Are you mistaken?

Without twelve rounds, you rest and leave

Okay, let's play twelve rounds

Come in

Why are you so nervous?

They can't see me anyway

Right on time

They really can't see you at all

They can't hear you either

Just like being invisible

Right on time

Didn't I tell you already

Wait a bit and they'll be in trouble

You mean Da Shan?

Enough with the talking

What about those three?

They've won too much money from me in the past

Now it's time for payback

Go in there and check

The cards of those three

See what they are waiting for

Then just tell Da Shan

What does 'waiting for a card' mean?

You've never played Mahjong?

Never played?

Then don't worry

Just tell him what cards those three have

What should I say?

Don't worry about the details

Just tell him what sticks, dots, and characters they have

What are sticks, dots, and characters?

You're such a fool

I really wish I could just strike you dead with a crucifix

A crucifix, good, I'll drive it in

Attention, gentlemen

He says he wants to eat a Big Eye Chicken

Tell him to eat shit

Tell him about Big Eye Chicken

If he doesn't understand by tonight

What flush, full house, four of a kind mean

He won't even have a candle to eat

Not to mention seeing his girlfriend Xiao Xiao

Then I want to eat

Teach him first then you can eat

Okay

Do we have Big Eye Chicken to eat?

We have everything to eat

As long as you remember the cards

I'll teach you

This is Ace and this is K

Hurry up

Come on

Everyone wins once

Are these cards really that cursed?

You win every hand

Playing thirteen cards, there's so much to learn

If you're lucky, you can win every hand

Just by winning once from you

Enough with the chatter

I've been so unlucky lately

Even getting a woman got me in trouble

Use some grapefruit leaves to ward off the bad luck

I'll ward off the bad luck too

I want to as well

Impressive, a four-wheel car

Without a head, it's just a sequence

He's even unluckier

Only three pairs, three-wheel car

The highest pair is 10

This one is missing one for a sequence of three

Isn't it just a headless two sequence?

This hand can win three ways, right?

It's a sure win

I've already arranged the cards

Attention, gambling gentlemen

Can we reveal the cards now?

Who is he?

Who are you referring to?

This asshole?

Can you see me?

How can you see him?

I'm a ghost

Yes, you're a ghost who cheats at gambling

You son of a bitch

No wonder you win every hand

Don't hit him

He really is a ghost

You taught him

Help

What's the score?

One, two, three, six points, small

If you answer correctly, I'll mark one for you

Come on, try again

Is it real?

Did he guess all correctly?

Yes, all correct

You're helping him cheat

I am not

Move away, let me do it

Guess

Can I not guess?

Believe it or not, I'll cremate you, guess now

Guess what? I can see everything

You can see?

Really

Just tell him then

Four, five, six, fifteen points, big

Open it

We're about to open, hands off, hands off

Open

One, two, three, six points, small

Won again

Won again

Look, he wins every hand

Bet the bottom with them

Hmm, okay

This hand is going to lose

If he wins every hand, people will get suspicious

Is that so?

One, two, three, small

How is it?

Bet big, win big, bet big

Bet big

Open

One, two, three, six points, small

This hand lost

This doesn't make sense

Why would we bet big?

Right

I think we don't need to bother so much

Let's just bet everything on one game

Okay, I agree

What to bet on?

Xiao Xiao

See you later, bye

Xiao Xiao, Xiao Xiao

What's Xiao Xiao?

Don't even know Xiao Xiao

You're really stupid

It's just a small bet

It's a small bet

Bet small

Xiao Xiao

Open

Four, five, six, fifteen points, big

This bastard

What happened?

Where's the ghost? Where did the ghost go?

Over there

Chase him

Xiao Xiao

Can't you see me?

Xiao Xiao, I'm talking to you

Xiao Xiao

If you can't see me, just nod your head

How can you nod if you can't hear me?

I'm truly sorry

Leaving you a widow

But from now on

I'll never leave you

Drive, let's go home

Xiao Xiao

Xiao Xiao

Xiao Xiao, be careful

You can't hurt Xiao Xiao

It's so mean to make people wait so long

There's a traffic jam

So annoying, let's go

Has the ghost come back?

Didn't see him

If you see him, electrocute him

Perfect

You bastard

You ran away on the last hand

Causing all of us to lose

Yeah

So what?

Don't disturb me

I'm very annoyed

Wow, you're even fiercer than me

Big pervert, stinky bitch, cheap woman

Let go

You won't let go?

I won't, so what?

Fine, let's just chat then

Chat about what?

Right, let's go out and chat

What are you doing?

What's the first sentence when you see her?

I'm trying to get a girlfriend

You don't even need to talk

It's all in the eyes

What kind of look?

This is natural

It's what people call flirting

Wait a while

I'll show you

What if your eyes aren't effective

Or you're flirting with static electricity?

Then you just go ahead

Okay, you go first

I'll wait for you outside for five minutes

If you don't come out in five minutes

I'll automatically forfeit

You're such a good brother

Actually, don't be too self-conscious

You can't blame yourself for being unattractive

Just blame your parents

Watch me

I want to see how your parents helped you

Don't wait, see you tomorrow

Who are you looking for?

Looking for you

I don't know you

I don't know you either

Why do we need to know each other when we meet?

Let's go in and talk

Are you a salesman?

What are you selling?

I sell everything

Including love

So you're a midnight cowboy

I didn't call for a duck

Brother

In less than five seconds she'll close the door

In the past, women would faint at the sight of me

She's fainting now, she's scared by you

Okay, you go

If you can get in

Then I'll... cut it off

Wrong

Find a hammer and flatten it

Hit it well

What are you doing again?

Sorry. I come from America.

Mr. Nick Chen's lawyer

Mr. Nick Chen is dead.

He left a supermarket to miss Yau

Who is miss Yau?

I am

Oh, Chinese. Very good

We speak Chinese. Okay?

It's like this, Miss Qiu

Mr. Chen, unfortunately, passed away in the United States

I am Mr. Chen's lawyer

I'm dealing with his estate

He has a supermarket in San Francisco

It's designated to be left to Miss Qiu

What kind of supermarket?

Oh, it's a medium-sized one

It's about three acres

It can park over five thousand cars

For more detailed circumstances

Can I go in and talk to you?

Okay, please come in

Thank you. No, thank you

Can I get a whiskey?

Yes, yes, thank you

Did you say Axian has a supermarket in San Francisco?

Oh, not just one

But the one left to you is the biggest

He made his will at our law firm the year before last

Don't know how much it's worth?

It's worth about forty million US dollars

But the business of that supermarket is very good

It can make more than a million every month

So

You might as well go and take a look first

And then make a decision

My responsibility

Is to accompany you to receive it

Really? When's the earliest I can go?

Anytime

Just you and me?

Yes

I'm a little worried

What are you worried about?

Look

I'm a stranger in a strange land

And I don't know you

What if I get cheated by you?

What can I do?

Why would I cheat you, you're crazy

How could it be?

Don't I deserve to be cheated by you?

It's not about being worthy

But I won't cheat you

Miss Qiu

Why not treat it like a trip

As for whether the inheritance is legal or not

We'll only know when the time comes

Stop talking so much

Have a little drink

A little drink

Drinking will make it more romantic

I need to make a phone call first

I don't even know what to call you

My name is Romeo Valentino Fatanovo

What novo?

Fatanovo

This guy says he's a lawyer

He wants to take me to the US to receive Axian's legacy

I really don't get it

How does he know about Axian and me?

Then you just play along

Have him help us smuggle the goods

If anything happens, take him out

Take good care of him

Aren't you afraid I'll lose everything?

Who told you to be serious

Just take off his clothes

Make him our scapegoat tonight

It's not that serious, he can't see me

Otherwise, he would have been scared to death a long time ago

To the airport

Okay

Drive faster

It's broad daylight, how can you appear here

Chukar made a roof for me to hold up

No matter how big the sun is, I'm not afraid

Don't get in the way, just disappear

They're afraid you'll get into trouble, so they asked me to watch you

What are you doing?

Nothing

Feel it, feel it slowly

That's what I do, feel it

I lost my life feeling it

Kiss me, keep kissing until it's worth it

Die under the peony flower, I'm just afraid you won't die

When you end up in jail for decades

See what you do

What's wrong with you?

Nothing, I'm too excited

Whenever I get excited, I get like this

What are you excited about?

There's more for you to get excited about later

This suitcase is full of white powder

Tell the truth

What's in the heavy suitcase?

Underwear, panties

It was you who packed for me, you forgot?

Did I pack for you?

Just looking at a woman's underwear and panties

Can't see the important things

Don't you know there's a compartment in the suitcase

I almost forgot

My mom asked me to take something to the US

For that

Uncle

Uncle?

Gone, right?

Get out of the car

Okay, chase quickly

They turned right

It's the police station, aren't you getting off?

No, it's a joke

Get off the car

Your brothers will be here soon

I'll notify them

He's much smarter now

I'll leave it to you

It's not comfortable sitting here

I think you better go in and sit

Let's just pretend I don't know anything, okay?

Excuse me, back to the airport

Bastard

Zebra

Only in Africa

Take him in

Let's go

Brother, can I borrow your phone?

I can't hear you

Hurry up

I'll cover his eyes

You guys come in

Can he do it?

Of course, he can

Yeah

What are you guys doing?

We're here for you

What are you guys doing?

Quick, quick, quick

Okay, now you don't have to smuggle goods for us

We want to kill you

Then disembowel you

Remove the viscera and fill it with white powder

Finally, bury you in the US

What do you say?

You can think of such a thing

Let me tell you, you're now surrounded by the police

Ah Guang, bring the axe over

Yes

Don't, don't

Xiao Xiao

A night of marriage, a hundred days of gratitude

You have to save me

I beg you

Xiao Xiao, you go first

There's nothing good to see in killing

Go quickly

Alright

Xiao Xiao

Don't move

Rhino skin, we're here to save you

Haven't seen this kind of stance in a long time

Can you do it?

Good job

Climb on me and kill him

What

Hurry up

You're not effective, come out

Come out

What the hell are you doing?

I almost got killed because of you

It's you who told me to climb on you

When I told you to climb on me, it was to help me fight him

I can climb, but I can't fight

We're screwed

Wait, let's talk it out

Please don't hit me

I beg you

Climb on him

Watch my move

Come out quickly

Great job, chubby

What are you looking at, climb on him quickly

Climb on him

What are you doing?

No, no, his stinky fox is too powerful

It's up to you now

Go help quickly

I, I can't

How can it work with just him left?

Go quickly

Go help

I'm coming

You really can't do it

Right? I told you I can't

His samadhi true fire is so strong, how can I climb on him?

GO

GO

GO

Come on

NO GO

Come on

I won't

Come on

Come on

Quick

This way, where are you going?

Hurry up

This time, thanks for all the help, brothers

I've avenged my grudge

I can rest in peace now

You're settled, but we haven't made a fortune yet

Let me tell you

Only when we've made a fortune

Can we disappear completely

Leave it to me, there will be no problem

Get in the car

Don't let him in, there's no room

You're so fat, take the other one

There's room on my side

Sit with me

I'll swap with you

Swap your head

Partridge herb

What are you looking at

What are you looking at

The third car, follow up...