All language subtitles for Will & Grace (1998) - S04E23 - Fagel Attraction (480p DVD x265 Silence)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:07,921 Anyway, I turned around to pick up my order and 2 00:00:07,921 --> 00:00:09,946 when I looked back my laptop was gone 3 00:00:09,946 --> 00:00:11,538 It was so pretty Titanium 4 00:00:11,538 --> 00:00:13,540 It went with everything he has 5 00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:16,034 It made me look thin and tall 6 00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:18,544 It had all of my work on it all of my memos, my briefs... 7 00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:19,563 all of my e-mail! 8 00:00:19,563 --> 00:00:20,322 Sweetie, calm down 9 00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:22,989 It just a thing No object is that important 10 00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:26,356 - It had your DVD in it - Not Bring It On?! 11 00:00:27,082 --> 00:00:29,717 So, what are you going to do? You think you're gonna find it? 12 00:00:29,717 --> 00:00:30,323 Well, of course 13 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,152 We'll seal off all the bridges and tunnels 14 00:00:32,152 --> 00:00:36,077 We'll scramble a couple of F16s out of McGuire 15 00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:40,674 Do you think this man finds you funny, Officer? 16 00:00:41,297 --> 00:00:43,945 Detective Hatch I-- I didn't realize you were here 17 00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:46,252 Maybe I should leave so you can continue acting 18 00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:49,114 like a schmuck in front of two citizens from New York 19 00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:51,629 - Come on. Get out of here - Yes, sir 20 00:00:52,413 --> 00:00:54,982 I apologize for the officer 21 00:00:54,982 --> 00:00:56,597 He's picked up a little bit of an attitude 22 00:00:56,597 --> 00:01:00,146 since he's been a technical consultant on "NYPD Blue." 23 00:01:00,146 --> 00:01:02,570 - I'm Detective Hatch - Uh, Will Truman 24 00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:04,391 What's the problem, Mr. Truman? 25 00:01:04,391 --> 00:01:05,939 I got him the wrong muffin / Yeah 26 00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:08,128 I wanted the chocolate chip muffin She got me raisin 27 00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:11,225 Why didn't you get him the chocolate chip, ma'am? 28 00:01:13,919 --> 00:01:16,542 Well, I-- It-- 29 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,716 Ok, it was the only one left and I wanted it! 30 00:01:20,261 --> 00:01:22,696 So I got Will the raisin and I bought the chocolate chip for myself 31 00:01:22,696 --> 00:01:25,494 and I ate it in the ladies' room Are you happy now?! 32 00:01:26,401 --> 00:01:27,668 I don't believe you! 33 00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:28,957 I've been talking about a chocolate chip muffin 34 00:01:28,957 --> 00:01:30,816 - since I woke up this morning! - Oh, get a life, Will 35 00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:34,415 It's a muffin! And it was good 36 00:01:34,415 --> 00:01:36,058 Let's take it easy Everybody's a little emotional here 37 00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:39,042 what with the robbery and the muffin 38 00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:40,372 Why don't you take it easy on your girlfriend? 39 00:01:40,372 --> 00:01:41,417 Hey, she's not my girlfriend 40 00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:42,969 Ok? My girlfriend wouldn't leave my laptop 41 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,829 to eat a muffin in a bathroom stall! 42 00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:48,749 My girlfriend also wouldn't be a girl 43 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,906 Oh Oh, I see 44 00:01:52,289 --> 00:01:53,691 Well, I guess, uh-- 45 00:01:53,691 --> 00:01:56,722 I guess I got everything here Is that your home number, Mr. Truman? 46 00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:58,056 Yes. Look, is there anything I can do to help? 47 00:01:58,056 --> 00:01:59,455 Because I'll do it 48 00:01:59,455 --> 00:02:02,597 Well, uh, we need more victims like you to get involved 49 00:02:02,597 --> 00:02:05,406 Hey, this victims is totally willing to get involved 50 00:02:05,406 --> 00:02:08,652 That's exactly how his last personal ad read 51 00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:10,464 All right, well I'll be in touch, and, uh 52 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,682 ma'am, you might want to keep that purse closed 53 00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:16,581 Oh, oh, right, because now this is a crime scene 54 00:02:16,581 --> 00:02:17,982 No, because your friend might see 55 00:02:17,982 --> 00:02:21,799 that you got two other chocolate chip muffins in there 56 00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:54,818 Jack! 57 00:02:54,818 --> 00:02:57,571 Move your bunny slippers I'm trying to work on my presentation 58 00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,751 Not really my problem 59 00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:04,734 I'm trying to take care of my needs here, all right? 60 00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:07,610 Just a little something I learned in gay group therapy 61 00:03:09,316 --> 00:03:14,968 Jack, inviting three hot guys over to your apartment for a "four-gy" 62 00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:19,345 does not qualify as group therapy 63 00:03:20,073 --> 00:03:22,800 I'm talking about actual therapy 64 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,686 You know, at first I thought group would be a great way to meet guys 65 00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:28,625 You know I love me some crazies 66 00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:33,491 But as it turns out I actually have a problem 67 00:03:33,491 --> 00:03:36,725 Would you like to know what it is? / Get out 68 00:03:37,298 --> 00:03:40,704 I'm too much of a giver 69 00:03:42,062 --> 00:03:44,485 That's right I give a little bit too much 70 00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:48,092 Always putting other people's needs before mine 71 00:03:48,092 --> 00:03:49,413 Well, no more! 72 00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:51,671 Before it used to be World, Jack 73 00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:54,941 Now it's Jack, World 74 00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:57,238 Hey, Jack world 75 00:03:57,238 --> 00:04:01,468 how about you move your Jack feet before I kick your Jack ass? 76 00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:04,849 Wow, you are toxic 77 00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,914 I think you need a little gay group therapy 78 00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:12,169 - Oh, hey, poodle - Hi, Kare 79 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,851 I'd love to stay and fondle 80 00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:17,255 but Grace's mood ring is a filthy brown today 81 00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:19,909 Ok 82 00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:23,269 - One for the road? - Ok.. 83 00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:28,182 Hey, Kare 84 00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:29,797 did you bring me that sample I asked for? 85 00:04:29,797 --> 00:04:32,422 I sure did, honey 86 00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:35,627 Here you go 87 00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:44,422 Please, God, tell me that's not your urine 88 00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:48,633 Oh! Honey of course it isn't 89 00:04:49,384 --> 00:04:51,279 It's Rosario's 90 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:56,813 This puppy has gotten me out of more jail time than you'll ever know 91 00:05:01,085 --> 00:05:02,570 Was that not right? 92 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,316 Tile samples-- I needed you to bring my-- 93 00:05:05,316 --> 00:05:07,467 Ok. Ok Ok, never mind 94 00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:11,399 Did you take the pictures of those stools I -- Wait! 95 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:21,898 Do not answer that Do not show me anything 96 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:23,921 Knock knock 97 00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:27,533 I thought it was rude to eavesdrop, so I just came in 98 00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:30,813 Oh, hey-- Hey, Val 99 00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:34,444 Isn't that the loon from upstairs that likes to beat you up? 100 00:05:35,822 --> 00:05:38,983 - Yeah. Get rid of her - Ok 101 00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:45,199 So, um, listen, Val... 102 00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,627 I was just-- just bringing you your phone bill 103 00:05:52,627 --> 00:05:54,860 - 'cause they put it in my box - Ok, don't come any closer! 104 00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:59,921 The clump of hair that you ripped out...is just starting to grow back in 105 00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:02,867 Oh, come on, silly I'm not like that anymore 106 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:07,648 You are looking at a totally new me / Why? 107 00:06:07,648 --> 00:06:11,136 You finally working as a team with the people in your head? 108 00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:12,792 Well, kind of 109 00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:16,030 Actually, I'm on this amazing new psychotropic drug 110 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,177 I mean, sure, I have no sex drive and I'm always dizzy 111 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:21,117 but I think I could be a really good friend 112 00:06:21,911 --> 00:06:22,886 Here 113 00:06:24,394 --> 00:06:27,385 So what are you working on there, G-Dog? 114 00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:32,601 Um, it's a meditation room for this client I'm trying to land 115 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,400 Wow That's nifty 116 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,481 I'd sure love a room like that 117 00:06:36,481 --> 00:06:39,637 I'm surprised the court hasn't ordered you to be in a room like that 118 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,262 Very funny! 119 00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,029 Tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle! 120 00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:47,443 You're ticklish 121 00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:49,772 See? You know what? I miss this! 122 00:06:49,772 --> 00:06:51,756 I miss this so much 123 00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:54,068 Well, now, see here's the deal 124 00:06:54,603 --> 00:06:59,548 We could have this-- If you were not this-- 125 00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:02,425 All right 126 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,625 Hey, can I take this? 127 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:06,834 'Cause some day you're gonna be really famous 128 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:10,131 and I can say that I knew you when 129 00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:13,325 Sure, but you know, Val I really do need to get back to work 130 00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:14,145 Oh, sure 131 00:07:14,145 --> 00:07:18,168 I just wanted to come and let you know that I'm doing a lot better 132 00:07:18,168 --> 00:07:21,280 Is that your urine or mine? 133 00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:28,477 I confess 134 00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,954 When I first started gay group therapy 135 00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:33,735 I just thought it was a really great place to meet guys 136 00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:37,653 But now as I look around the room and I see you all looking back at me 137 00:07:37,653 --> 00:07:42,877 I realize... it's not such a great place to meet guys 138 00:07:43,655 --> 00:07:45,241 Gavin 139 00:07:45,241 --> 00:07:46,997 the last time you shared 140 00:07:46,997 --> 00:07:50,105 you spoke about how your fear of rejection 141 00:07:50,105 --> 00:07:52,147 often leads you to make up elaborate stories 142 00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:55,084 in order to spend time with the men you find attractive 143 00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,636 How's that going? 144 00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:03,963 Well, I'm doing it again you know, and it's killing me 145 00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:07,568 I--I met this really good-looking guy today at this coffee shop 146 00:08:07,568 --> 00:08:09,884 and instead of asking him out 147 00:08:09,884 --> 00:08:14,018 I offered to help him find his stolen laptop 148 00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,394 Go on, Gavin 149 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,456 Well, I don't know why I'm so shy with men 150 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,587 You know, maybe it's because I came out so late in my life 151 00:08:21,587 --> 00:08:24,739 but, you know why can't I just say, you know 152 00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:28,148 "Hi, I'm Gavin You want a cup of coffee?" 153 00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:31,135 "A chocolate chip muffin?" 154 00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:35,032 Nah, I'm a mess 155 00:08:35,568 --> 00:08:37,595 Maybe a cookie will cheer you up, huh? 156 00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:39,173 Want a little cookie? Hmm? 157 00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,569 You know, I prefer the minis 158 00:08:41,569 --> 00:08:44,572 The cream-to-cookie ratio is just so much better for me 159 00:08:44,572 --> 00:08:45,463 You know? 160 00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:50,783 You got something in your teeth 161 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,779 Whatever 162 00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:54,401 No, really Just stop it 163 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,890 This really freaks me out 164 00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,045 I got--I got a thing about this, ok? So-- 165 00:08:58,045 --> 00:09:00,525 - Seriously? This freaks you out? - Stop this now, all right? 166 00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:03,033 Just stop it! I told-- Stop!Doctor-- 167 00:09:03,033 --> 00:09:04,310 Jack! 168 00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:08,368 You know Gavin has problems with food in teeth 169 00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,255 Now kindly respect that 170 00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,155 Sorry, Gavin 171 00:09:14,962 --> 00:09:16,648 Weirdo 172 00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:22,129 Gavin, what do you think your next move should be with this guy? 173 00:09:22,457 --> 00:09:24,767 Well, I like the guy 174 00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:28,256 You know, I want to go out with him and I think I should be totally honest 175 00:09:28,256 --> 00:09:31,727 I think I should stop all these stories and just tell him the truth 176 00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,942 A gay laptop-theft ring? 177 00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:37,422 You gotta be kidding me! 178 00:09:37,422 --> 00:09:40,644 No, I'm afraid so It looks like you're the latest victim 179 00:09:40,644 --> 00:09:44,231 Why would they want gay people's computers? 180 00:09:44,696 --> 00:09:47,638 Well, for one thing you know, they're organized 181 00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:52,519 very neat desktops usually have a carrying case 182 00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:55,230 You can dress it up or dress it down 183 00:09:56,279 --> 00:09:57,540 Anyway, that's not the point 184 00:09:57,540 --> 00:10:01,566 I thought we could do some surveillance 185 00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,348 We? 186 00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:05,686 Well, you said you wanted to get involved 187 00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,329 Yeah No, I'd love to 188 00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:09,174 I love police business 189 00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:12,620 You have terrific teeth-- Really clean 190 00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:19,669 Uh, let's go undercover Say, Saturday, eight-ish? 191 00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:21,143 Great 192 00:10:21,779 --> 00:10:25,102 Undercover, wow Hey, do I get to wear a wire? 193 00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:27,365 Will we be in dark alleys with really wet streets? 194 00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:30,863 I'm not afraid I'm just thinking about footwear 195 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:34,418 I'm actually thinking of this hot gay club on 14th Street 196 00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:37,223 You know, obvious target Lots of laptop users there 197 00:10:37,223 --> 00:10:38,225 A club? 198 00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:39,976 You really think we're gonna find the perps there? 199 00:10:39,976 --> 00:10:42,587 "Perps." That's very cute 200 00:10:47,252 --> 00:10:48,568 And I think the meditation room 201 00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:50,699 will end up being your favorite room in the house 202 00:10:50,699 --> 00:10:54,864 Oh, every room is my favorite now that my wife has left me 203 00:10:57,446 --> 00:10:59,779 Well, let me paint a picture 204 00:10:59,779 --> 00:11:04,502 Imagine yourself in an oasis of calm 205 00:11:04,502 --> 00:11:10,169 A place where the world shuts down and the noise stops 206 00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:12,550 Yes 207 00:11:15,048 --> 00:11:16,646 Exactly 208 00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:21,954 Your cares melt away as you step onto the heated stone floor 209 00:11:21,954 --> 00:11:26,469 Mmm, a warmth envelops you from within 210 00:11:30,762 --> 00:11:34,084 You lose yourself as you listen to the soothing trickle 211 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,899 of the Japanese rock fountain 212 00:11:35,899 --> 00:11:36,542 Oh 213 00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:40,648 which mingles harmoniously with the soothing trickle 214 00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:43,701 of the morphine drip 215 00:11:46,616 --> 00:11:47,981 Around you 216 00:11:47,981 --> 00:11:51,888 cabinets full of pills await your every mood 217 00:11:52,632 --> 00:11:53,944 Your turn 218 00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:59,255 Medi-ta-tion room not medi-ca-tion room 219 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:05,010 You say "potato"... 220 00:12:07,555 --> 00:12:11,396 Anyway, I hope you're getting a sense of what I'm trying to do 221 00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:14,123 Yeah, yeah, it's great I'd go with it right now 222 00:12:14,123 --> 00:12:18,470 but I promised another designer that I would hear her ideas, too 223 00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,805 Maybe you know her? She works right next door 224 00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:23,646 Next door? When did a designer move into the-- 225 00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:25,065 Hey, neighbs 226 00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:25,619 Vince? 227 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:26,535 Whenever you're ready 228 00:12:26,535 --> 00:12:29,274 and I have a great idea for a meditation room 229 00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:34,483 Who's crazy now, huh, Grace? You you you you you you you you! 230 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,438 I hate her I hate Val 231 00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,200 I'm the kind of person who doesn't hate anyone! 232 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,989 - You hate your sister - Well, she's hateful! 233 00:12:50,889 --> 00:12:52,695 But besides her I don't hate anyone 234 00:12:52,695 --> 00:12:56,556 - You hate your doorman - Well, he calls me "kiddo" and clicks 235 00:12:57,296 --> 00:13:00,884 Besides my doorman and my sister I don't hate anyone 236 00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:04,855 - You hate Teri Hatcher - Oh, who doesn't?! 237 00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:08,383 Ok, fine! So I hate a lot of people 238 00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:10,264 but I hate Val more! 239 00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:13,782 She stole my ideas, then she has the audacity to come in here 240 00:13:13,782 --> 00:13:16,235 and ask to see my carpet samples?! 241 00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:19,937 Oh, she was hitting on you?! 242 00:13:24,819 --> 00:13:25,340 No 243 00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:28,804 to use in her presentation 244 00:13:28,804 --> 00:13:31,922 and I told her no way is she borrowing my stuff 245 00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,469 Over my dead body! 246 00:13:33,469 --> 00:13:36,996 I think there's somebody back there stealing stuff! 247 00:13:42,736 --> 00:13:44,340 - I'm gonna hit her so hard!! - Honey, no! 248 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,278 Just one in the face It's the only thing she responds to 249 00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:46,866 No, no, no 250 00:13:46,866 --> 00:13:48,390 Now come on. Come on Come on. Come on 251 00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:49,757 Now listen to me! 252 00:13:49,757 --> 00:13:51,211 If there's anything I've learned 253 00:13:51,211 --> 00:13:54,205 from studying the ancient Chinese art of t'ai chi 254 00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:56,729 it's that if you do it in the morning a couple hours later 255 00:13:56,729 --> 00:13:58,484 you're gonna want to do it again 256 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,592 You know what I'm talking about? 257 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,869 But if there's another thing I learned 258 00:14:04,869 --> 00:14:10,030 is that violence is never the answer 259 00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,315 You're right 260 00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,796 of course, of course you're right 261 00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:18,849 Oh ho! Come on, come on now! 262 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:34,251 Now, the important thing is to blend in 263 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:35,018 Remember 264 00:14:35,018 --> 00:14:38,926 we are two gay laptop users on a date 265 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,747 - It's only a matter of time - All right 266 00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:46,695 Should I be wearing a bullet-proof vest? 267 00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:51,074 Or, considering this is a gay bar a bullet-proof leather vest? 268 00:14:51,074 --> 00:14:53,716 No, you look fine, Will You're doing the right thing 269 00:14:53,716 --> 00:14:54,843 If we had more people like you 270 00:14:54,843 --> 00:14:58,032 we'd get some of that scum off the streets 271 00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:00,831 Now, look at me like you love me 272 00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,486 What? Oh! Oh, I see 273 00:15:07,486 --> 00:15:12,774 Because the-- Right Ok, um... how's this? 274 00:15:16,424 --> 00:15:17,493 I'm sorry 275 00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:20,054 It's just-- you--you looked like you were buying it 276 00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:21,906 Did I? 277 00:15:26,014 --> 00:15:27,540 You know I'm kinda surprised 278 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:29,838 that anybody would bring their laptop to a bar 279 00:15:29,838 --> 00:15:32,288 - Hold my hand - Sure 280 00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:37,563 You know, but I guess gay people are more likely to come straight 281 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,075 from the office with their laptops 282 00:15:39,075 --> 00:15:41,416 have a few drinks and that's when it happens 283 00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:44,371 That's a good observation You'd make a hell of a cop-- 284 00:15:44,371 --> 00:15:47,116 Perceptive, intelligent 285 00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:52,557 You got a set of eyes like two inviting pools of chocolate pudding 286 00:15:55,161 --> 00:15:58,399 Well, we look for that on the force 287 00:16:09,795 --> 00:16:13,381 Love this song Got a good beat 288 00:16:14,359 --> 00:16:17,610 I guess that would make us "good beat" cops 289 00:16:21,282 --> 00:16:22,487 You wanna dance? 290 00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:25,864 Oh! Oh, so that way we leave the laptops unattended 291 00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:28,146 Yeah, sure Whatever 292 00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:56,080 Hey, that guy looks suspicious 293 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,783 He's in a gay bar eating a hot dog without any irony 294 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:05,351 You stay right where you are I'm gonna try to get a better view 295 00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:15,508 Oh, yeah 296 00:17:15,508 --> 00:17:18,853 I can see a lot better from back here 297 00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:29,314 I want my baby back baby back, baby back 298 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:32,928 I want my baby back baby back, baby back. I want-- 299 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:33,882 Oh, hey, honey 300 00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:35,847 - How you doing? - Great 301 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:40,417 I took all my anger towards Val and I put it entirely into my work 302 00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,001 Well, maybe not entirely 303 00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:45,248 I did make a crank call to Teri Hatcher 304 00:17:47,078 --> 00:17:48,784 That's so funny, Vince! 305 00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:51,762 - Hi, Grace - Hey, G-Love 306 00:17:51,762 --> 00:17:56,602 Listen, I ran into Val in the lobby and she had an interesting idea 307 00:17:56,602 --> 00:17:57,999 to combine both of your presentations 308 00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,383 into the same meeting What do you think, huh? 309 00:18:02,304 --> 00:18:06,424 Well, um, you know I'm not really one to combine things 310 00:18:06,424 --> 00:18:08,901 I mean, I can't even eat my peas if they're touching the meat 311 00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:11,755 especially if the meat is crazy 312 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,417 But--but if it will save you time 313 00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:16,431 then let's do it 314 00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:17,988 Yeah, let's do it 315 00:18:18,946 --> 00:18:21,454 'Cause this woman has more talent in her little-boy breasts 316 00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:24,447 than you have in your whole body 317 00:18:26,508 --> 00:18:30,699 Ok, I have some sketches here for the living room 318 00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:32,405 I have some sketches, too, Vince 319 00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,963 but unfortunately they're up here in the ol' kanoodle 320 00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:36,981 Ok 321 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:42,452 Why don't we now hear some ideas for the bedroom? 322 00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:45,448 Ok. Well, first of all 323 00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:48,450 I think what we need to do in here is to-- 324 00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:51,448 Create an intimate feeling 325 00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:54,253 And I thought-- 326 00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:56,059 One way we could accomplish that 327 00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:58,429 is to upholster the walls with a lovely silk moir? 328 00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,059 .....silk moir? 329 00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:11,086 That will give the room a sense of luxury 330 00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,288 and it will also absorb some of the sound 331 00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:15,630 ....some of the sound 332 00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:23,130 Your other option, of course is to cover the walls with-- 333 00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,114 Stop it 334 00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:25,060 You stop it! 335 00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:26,139 You stop it! You're a nutjob! 336 00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:26,953 You're a nutjob! 337 00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:28,026 You're a nutjob! 338 00:19:28,026 --> 00:19:28,990 You're a nutjob! 339 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,027 You're a nutjob! 340 00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:33,678 - You're a nutjob! - Ladies, ladies! 341 00:19:33,678 --> 00:19:36,742 Oh, ladies 342 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,182 Vince 343 00:19:38,182 --> 00:19:41,059 I think these two ponies need to be hosed down 344 00:19:41,059 --> 00:19:43,215 Come out in the hallway for a minute while I talk to them, ok? 345 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,107 - Yeah, sure - Thanks 346 00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:48,216 So what's the matter, Grace? 347 00:19:48,216 --> 00:19:49,954 You can't compete with another designer 348 00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:52,008 who actually has a little talent?! 349 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:56,710 - You stole my ideas, freak show! - Oh, puh-leaze! 350 00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:57,445 You! 351 00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:59,772 Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! 352 00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:03,127 Hey! Hey! Hey! Come Come. Come. No, no, no, no 353 00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:07,649 Come on, ladies. Stop it! Stop it right now, both of you! 354 00:20:07,649 --> 00:20:10,552 Come here. Come here Come here right now 355 00:20:10,552 --> 00:20:12,783 Oh! Come here 356 00:20:13,874 --> 00:20:18,776 Whoa. Now, listen to me! I'm ashamed of both of you 357 00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,991 If there is one thing that I have learned 358 00:20:21,991 --> 00:20:26,663 from studying the ancient Chinese art of t'ai chi... 359 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:32,168 is that violence is never the answer 360 00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:35,755 but sometimes it is T'ai chi! 361 00:20:39,931 --> 00:20:41,284 Is she out? 362 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:47,827 She's out 363 00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:52,039 Ok. Honey, you go get Vince I'll get rid of the body 364 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,236 Uh, should we maybe go-- 365 00:21:10,339 --> 00:21:12,748 We should keep dancing 366 00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:14,073 The number-one lesson 367 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:20,406 when you're on a stakeout is never change your spot if it's good 368 00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:21,060 Ok 369 00:21:23,693 --> 00:21:33,662 La la la la la. La la la la la~~~ A-doobie doobie do-doo~~~ 370 00:21:33,662 --> 00:21:36,846 - Hey, that's annoying - Hang on. Let me just get this out 371 00:21:36,846 --> 00:21:37,629 Oh! 372 00:21:42,707 --> 00:21:44,324 Feel a little awkward 373 00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:47,389 It's been a long time since I slow-danced... 374 00:21:47,815 --> 00:21:49,597 with a cop... 375 00:21:50,081 --> 00:21:52,981 whose gun is poking me in the back... 376 00:21:57,287 --> 00:21:58,038 I hope 377 00:22:01,682 --> 00:22:04,695 Sh-sh-sh-sh-shh 378 00:22:08,123 --> 00:22:10,826 Yeah, you know actually I could use a drink 379 00:22:10,826 --> 00:22:12,062 Oh, yeah I'll get you one, honey 380 00:22:12,062 --> 00:22:14,596 Did--did you-- 381 00:22:14,596 --> 00:22:16,751 Did you just call me "honey"? 382 00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:18,108 Uh, cop talk 383 00:22:18,108 --> 00:22:22,510 It's the way we talk at the precinct-- Honey, sweetie, Sarge 384 00:22:23,517 --> 00:22:25,344 I'll get you a drink 385 00:22:26,765 --> 00:22:28,408 Oh, my God! We need to talk 386 00:22:28,408 --> 00:22:31,601 When were you gonna tell me you were dating freaky teeth guy?! 387 00:22:32,847 --> 00:22:34,949 "Freaky teeth guy"? 388 00:22:34,949 --> 00:22:36,688 You have no idea what you're getting yourself into 389 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,987 I'd help you but it's not my problem 390 00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:44,857 Tell me about freaky teeth guy 391 00:22:44,857 --> 00:22:45,215 Let's see 392 00:22:45,215 --> 00:22:49,093 We got spinach dip, chives poppy seed bagel 393 00:22:49,093 --> 00:22:51,960 and chocolate chip cookies 394 00:22:53,474 --> 00:22:55,980 Uh, you got anything else? 395 00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,823 Oh, I'll just bring it anyway in case we change our minds 396 00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:02,320 You know, detective, I-- 397 00:23:02,822 --> 00:23:04,247 I have to confess 398 00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,751 Um... at one point tonight when I was with you 399 00:23:09,751 --> 00:23:12,453 I kind of forgot we were even looking for my laptop 400 00:23:12,876 --> 00:23:17,375 I--I just felt like I was with you 401 00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:18,973 You know what I mean? 402 00:23:18,973 --> 00:23:20,603 I know what you mean 403 00:23:22,271 --> 00:23:24,311 The Sarge at the precinct had an expression for it-- 404 00:23:24,311 --> 00:23:26,318 Chemistry 405 00:23:31,389 --> 00:23:33,229 But you're not even gay 406 00:23:33,229 --> 00:23:35,936 Guess I'm barking up the wrong tree 407 00:23:38,804 --> 00:23:40,911 Woof! 408 00:23:43,949 --> 00:23:45,562 Woof! 409 00:23:49,486 --> 00:23:52,547 - You mean you're-- - Yes, I am 410 00:23:53,437 --> 00:23:56,359 I'm not gonna lie about it anymore because there's one thing-- 411 00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,204 Don't touch the dip 412 00:24:00,437 --> 00:24:03,095 Oh, I'm sorry. I just need to nosh when I'm nervous 413 00:24:03,095 --> 00:24:04,308 Go on 414 00:24:04,308 --> 00:24:07,359 No, well, you know, the first time I saw you when this investigation began 415 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,284 I wasn't sure-- 416 00:24:08,284 --> 00:24:10,812 I'm not kidding about the dip 417 00:24:12,246 --> 00:24:14,488 Just--I just want a little bit 418 00:24:16,008 --> 00:24:17,080 All right, Will 419 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,397 I want you to drop the bagel and step away from the dip 420 00:24:24,237 --> 00:24:28,616 - Ok. Maybe just one cookie - Why'd you do that?! 421 00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:30,999 - Problem, officer? - Oh! 422 00:24:36,196 --> 00:24:37,409 What's the matter, detective? 423 00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:40,082 Afraid you'll see some food in my teeth? 424 00:24:40,082 --> 00:24:41,767 Just like you're afraid to ask guys out 425 00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:43,176 so you make up some crazy story 426 00:24:43,176 --> 00:24:44,406 in order to spend time with them? 427 00:24:44,406 --> 00:24:45,892 Who told you that? 428 00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:47,980 Let's just say I know a little bird who sang 429 00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:49,091 Who?! 430 00:24:49,091 --> 00:24:55,718 La la la la la. La la la la la La la la la la la-la la la? 431 00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:07,951 There is no gay laptop ring, is there?? 432 00:25:07,951 --> 00:25:08,474 No 433 00:25:08,989 --> 00:25:12,159 And cops don't call each other "honey"? 434 00:25:12,159 --> 00:25:13,080 No 435 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,594 Or "sweetie"? 436 00:25:14,594 --> 00:25:16,522 One does 437 00:25:17,610 --> 00:25:20,852 Will, this is new to me You know, it's really hard 438 00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:21,975 I've never dated before 439 00:25:21,975 --> 00:25:24,337 Oh, please! You've already done the hard part 440 00:25:24,337 --> 00:25:25,427 You came out 441 00:25:25,427 --> 00:25:27,737 Now is when you're supposed to have a little fun 442 00:25:27,737 --> 00:25:29,283 Don't do this to yourself 443 00:25:29,283 --> 00:25:30,897 Just go and ask a guy out 444 00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:33,279 The worst he can say is no 445 00:25:33,279 --> 00:25:35,164 And even then you'll probably still get a little action 446 00:25:35,164 --> 00:25:37,247 I mean, we are guys 447 00:25:38,142 --> 00:25:40,414 That's good advice, Will Thank you 448 00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:43,563 So is there anything you want to ask me? 449 00:25:43,563 --> 00:25:46,100 I don't think so not with that crap on your teeth 450 00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,536 Take care 33806

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