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1
00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:07,921
Anyway, I turned around to
pick up my order and
2
00:00:07,921 --> 00:00:09,946
when I looked back
my laptop was gone
3
00:00:09,946 --> 00:00:11,538
It was so pretty
Titanium
4
00:00:11,538 --> 00:00:13,540
It went with everything he has
5
00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:16,034
It made me look thin and tall
6
00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:18,544
It had all of my work on it
all of my memos, my briefs...
7
00:00:18,544 --> 00:00:19,563
all of my e-mail!
8
00:00:19,563 --> 00:00:20,322
Sweetie, calm down
9
00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:22,989
It just a thing
No object is that important
10
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:26,356
- It had your DVD in it
- Not Bring It On?!
11
00:00:27,082 --> 00:00:29,717
So, what are you going to do?
You think you're gonna find it?
12
00:00:29,717 --> 00:00:30,323
Well, of course
13
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,152
We'll seal off
all the bridges and tunnels
14
00:00:32,152 --> 00:00:36,077
We'll scramble a couple of
F16s out of McGuire
15
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:40,674
Do you think this man
finds you funny, Officer?
16
00:00:41,297 --> 00:00:43,945
Detective Hatch
I-- I didn't realize you were here
17
00:00:43,945 --> 00:00:46,252
Maybe I should leave
so you can continue acting
18
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:49,114
like a schmuck in front of
two citizens from New York
19
00:00:49,511 --> 00:00:51,629
- Come on. Get out of here
- Yes, sir
20
00:00:52,413 --> 00:00:54,982
I apologize for the officer
21
00:00:54,982 --> 00:00:56,597
He's picked up
a little bit of an attitude
22
00:00:56,597 --> 00:01:00,146
since he's been a technical consultant on "NYPD Blue."
23
00:01:00,146 --> 00:01:02,570
- I'm Detective Hatch
- Uh, Will Truman
24
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:04,391
What's the problem, Mr. Truman?
25
00:01:04,391 --> 00:01:05,939
I got him the wrong
muffin / Yeah
26
00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:08,128
I wanted the chocolate chip muffin
She got me raisin
27
00:01:08,128 --> 00:01:11,225
Why didn't you get him
the chocolate chip, ma'am?
28
00:01:13,919 --> 00:01:16,542
Well, I-- It--
29
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,716
Ok, it was the only one left
and I wanted it!
30
00:01:20,261 --> 00:01:22,696
So I got Will the raisin and
I bought the chocolate chip for myself
31
00:01:22,696 --> 00:01:25,494
and I ate it in the ladies' room
Are you happy now?!
32
00:01:26,401 --> 00:01:27,668
I don't believe you!
33
00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:28,957
I've been talking about
a chocolate chip muffin
34
00:01:28,957 --> 00:01:30,816
- since I woke up this morning!
- Oh, get a life, Will
35
00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:34,415
It's a muffin!
And it was good
36
00:01:34,415 --> 00:01:36,058
Let's take it easy
Everybody's a little emotional here
37
00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:39,042
what with the robbery
and the muffin
38
00:01:39,042 --> 00:01:40,372
Why don't you take it
easy on your girlfriend?
39
00:01:40,372 --> 00:01:41,417
Hey, she's not my girlfriend
40
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:42,969
Ok? My girlfriend wouldn't
leave my laptop
41
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,829
to eat a muffin
in a bathroom stall!
42
00:01:46,113 --> 00:01:48,749
My girlfriend also
wouldn't be a girl
43
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,906
Oh
Oh, I see
44
00:01:52,289 --> 00:01:53,691
Well, I guess, uh--
45
00:01:53,691 --> 00:01:56,722
I guess I got everything here
Is that your home number, Mr. Truman?
46
00:01:56,722 --> 00:01:58,056
Yes. Look, is there
anything I can do to help?
47
00:01:58,056 --> 00:01:59,455
Because I'll do it
48
00:01:59,455 --> 00:02:02,597
Well, uh, we need more victims
like you to get involved
49
00:02:02,597 --> 00:02:05,406
Hey, this victims is totally
willing to get involved
50
00:02:05,406 --> 00:02:08,652
That's exactly how his
last personal ad read
51
00:02:08,652 --> 00:02:10,464
All right, well
I'll be in touch, and, uh
52
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,682
ma'am, you might want to
keep that purse closed
53
00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:16,581
Oh, oh, right, because
now this is a crime scene
54
00:02:16,581 --> 00:02:17,982
No, because
your friend might see
55
00:02:17,982 --> 00:02:21,799
that you got two other
chocolate chip muffins in there
56
00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:54,818
Jack!
57
00:02:54,818 --> 00:02:57,571
Move your bunny slippers
I'm trying to work on my presentation
58
00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,751
Not really my problem
59
00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:04,734
I'm trying to take care of
my needs here, all right?
60
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:07,610
Just a little something
I learned in gay group therapy
61
00:03:09,316 --> 00:03:14,968
Jack, inviting three hot guys
over to your apartment for a "four-gy"
62
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:19,345
does not qualify as group therapy
63
00:03:20,073 --> 00:03:22,800
I'm talking about actual therapy
64
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,686
You know, at first I thought
group would be a great way to meet guys
65
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:28,625
You know I love me some crazies
66
00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:33,491
But as it turns out
I actually have a problem
67
00:03:33,491 --> 00:03:36,725
Would you like to know
what it is? / Get out
68
00:03:37,298 --> 00:03:40,704
I'm too much of a giver
69
00:03:42,062 --> 00:03:44,485
That's right
I give a little bit too much
70
00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:48,092
Always putting
other people's needs before mine
71
00:03:48,092 --> 00:03:49,413
Well, no more!
72
00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:51,671
Before it used to be World, Jack
73
00:03:51,671 --> 00:03:54,941
Now it's Jack, World
74
00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:57,238
Hey, Jack world
75
00:03:57,238 --> 00:04:01,468
how about you move your Jack feet
before I kick your Jack ass?
76
00:04:02,585 --> 00:04:04,849
Wow, you are toxic
77
00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,914
I think you need
a little gay group therapy
78
00:04:10,348 --> 00:04:12,169
- Oh, hey, poodle
- Hi, Kare
79
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,851
I'd love to stay and fondle
80
00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:17,255
but Grace's mood ring
is a filthy brown today
81
00:04:19,388 --> 00:04:19,909
Ok
82
00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:23,269
- One for the road?
- Ok..
83
00:04:27,483 --> 00:04:28,182
Hey, Kare
84
00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:29,797
did you bring me that
sample I asked for?
85
00:04:29,797 --> 00:04:32,422
I sure did, honey
86
00:04:33,117 --> 00:04:35,627
Here you go
87
00:04:41,708 --> 00:04:44,422
Please, God, tell me
that's not your urine
88
00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:48,633
Oh! Honey
of course it isn't
89
00:04:49,384 --> 00:04:51,279
It's Rosario's
90
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:56,813
This puppy has gotten me out of
more jail time than you'll ever know
91
00:05:01,085 --> 00:05:02,570
Was that not right?
92
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,316
Tile samples--
I needed you to bring my--
93
00:05:05,316 --> 00:05:07,467
Ok. Ok
Ok, never mind
94
00:05:07,467 --> 00:05:11,399
Did you take the pictures
of those stools I
-- Wait!
95
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:21,898
Do not answer that
Do not show me anything
96
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:23,921
Knock knock
97
00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:27,533
I thought it was rude to
eavesdrop, so I just came in
98
00:05:28,742 --> 00:05:30,813
Oh, hey-- Hey, Val
99
00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:34,444
Isn't that the loon from upstairs
that likes to beat you up?
100
00:05:35,822 --> 00:05:38,983
- Yeah. Get rid of her
- Ok
101
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:45,199
So, um, listen, Val...
102
00:05:50,890 --> 00:05:52,627
I was just-- just bringing
you your phone bill
103
00:05:52,627 --> 00:05:54,860
- 'cause they put it in my box
- Ok, don't come any closer!
104
00:05:55,581 --> 00:05:59,921
The clump of hair that you ripped
out...is just starting to grow back in
105
00:05:59,921 --> 00:06:02,867
Oh, come on, silly
I'm not like that anymore
106
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:07,648
You are looking at
a totally new me / Why?
107
00:06:07,648 --> 00:06:11,136
You finally working as a team
with the people in your head?
108
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:12,792
Well, kind of
109
00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:16,030
Actually, I'm on this amazing
new psychotropic drug
110
00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,177
I mean, sure, I have no sex drive
and I'm always dizzy
111
00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:21,117
but I think I could be
a really good friend
112
00:06:21,911 --> 00:06:22,886
Here
113
00:06:24,394 --> 00:06:27,385
So what are you
working on there, G-Dog?
114
00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:32,601
Um, it's a meditation room for
this client I'm trying to land
115
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,400
Wow
That's nifty
116
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,481
I'd sure love a room like that
117
00:06:36,481 --> 00:06:39,637
I'm surprised the court hasn't
ordered you to be in a room like that
118
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,262
Very funny!
119
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,029
Tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle!
120
00:06:45,958 --> 00:06:47,443
You're ticklish
121
00:06:48,178 --> 00:06:49,772
See? You know what?
I miss this!
122
00:06:49,772 --> 00:06:51,756
I miss this so much
123
00:06:52,153 --> 00:06:54,068
Well, now, see
here's the deal
124
00:06:54,603 --> 00:06:59,548
We could have this--
If you were not this--
125
00:07:01,079 --> 00:07:02,425
All right
126
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,625
Hey, can I take this?
127
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:06,834
'Cause some day
you're gonna be really famous
128
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:10,131
and I can say that
I knew you when
129
00:07:10,131 --> 00:07:13,325
Sure, but you know, Val
I really do need to get back to work
130
00:07:13,325 --> 00:07:14,145
Oh, sure
131
00:07:14,145 --> 00:07:18,168
I just wanted to come and let you know
that I'm doing a lot better
132
00:07:18,168 --> 00:07:21,280
Is that your urine or mine?
133
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:28,477
I confess
134
00:07:28,477 --> 00:07:30,954
When I first started
gay group therapy
135
00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:33,735
I just thought it was
a really great place to meet guys
136
00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:37,653
But now as I look around the room
and I see you all looking back at me
137
00:07:37,653 --> 00:07:42,877
I realize... it's not such
a great place to meet guys
138
00:07:43,655 --> 00:07:45,241
Gavin
139
00:07:45,241 --> 00:07:46,997
the last time you shared
140
00:07:46,997 --> 00:07:50,105
you spoke about
how your fear of rejection
141
00:07:50,105 --> 00:07:52,147
often leads you to
make up elaborate stories
142
00:07:52,147 --> 00:07:55,084
in order to spend time
with the men you find attractive
143
00:07:55,084 --> 00:07:56,636
How's that going?
144
00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:03,963
Well, I'm doing it again
you know, and it's killing me
145
00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:07,568
I--I met this really good-looking
guy today at this coffee shop
146
00:08:07,568 --> 00:08:09,884
and instead of asking him out
147
00:08:09,884 --> 00:08:14,018
I offered to help him
find his stolen laptop
148
00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:16,394
Go on, Gavin
149
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,456
Well, I don't know
why I'm so shy with men
150
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,587
You know, maybe it's because
I came out so late in my life
151
00:08:21,587 --> 00:08:24,739
but, you know
why can't I just say, you know
152
00:08:24,739 --> 00:08:28,148
"Hi, I'm Gavin
You want a cup of coffee?"
153
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:31,135
"A chocolate chip muffin?"
154
00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:35,032
Nah, I'm a mess
155
00:08:35,568 --> 00:08:37,595
Maybe a cookie
will cheer you up, huh?
156
00:08:37,595 --> 00:08:39,173
Want a little cookie?
Hmm?
157
00:08:39,721 --> 00:08:41,569
You know, I prefer the minis
158
00:08:41,569 --> 00:08:44,572
The cream-to-cookie ratio is
just so much better for me
159
00:08:44,572 --> 00:08:45,463
You know?
160
00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:50,783
You got something in your teeth
161
00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,779
Whatever
162
00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:54,401
No, really
Just stop it
163
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,890
This really freaks me out
164
00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,045
I got--I got a thing
about this, ok? So--
165
00:08:58,045 --> 00:09:00,525
- Seriously? This freaks you out?
- Stop this now, all right?
166
00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:03,033
Just stop it!
I told-- Stop!Doctor--
167
00:09:03,033 --> 00:09:04,310
Jack!
168
00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:08,368
You know Gavin has
problems with food in teeth
169
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,255
Now kindly respect that
170
00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,155
Sorry, Gavin
171
00:09:14,962 --> 00:09:16,648
Weirdo
172
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:22,129
Gavin, what do you think your
next move should be with this guy?
173
00:09:22,457 --> 00:09:24,767
Well, I like the guy
174
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:28,256
You know, I want to go out with him
and I think I should be totally honest
175
00:09:28,256 --> 00:09:31,727
I think I should stop all
these stories and just tell him the truth
176
00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,942
A gay laptop-theft ring?
177
00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:37,422
You gotta be kidding me!
178
00:09:37,422 --> 00:09:40,644
No, I'm afraid so
It looks like you're the latest victim
179
00:09:40,644 --> 00:09:44,231
Why would they want
gay people's computers?
180
00:09:44,696 --> 00:09:47,638
Well, for one thing
you know, they're organized
181
00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:52,519
very neat desktops
usually have a carrying case
182
00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:55,230
You can dress it up
or dress it down
183
00:09:56,279 --> 00:09:57,540
Anyway, that's not the point
184
00:09:57,540 --> 00:10:01,566
I thought we could
do some surveillance
185
00:10:01,566 --> 00:10:02,348
We?
186
00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:05,686
Well, you said you
wanted to get involved
187
00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,329
Yeah
No, I'd love to
188
00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:09,174
I love police business
189
00:10:09,174 --> 00:10:12,620
You have terrific
teeth-- Really clean
190
00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:19,669
Uh, let's go undercover
Say, Saturday, eight-ish?
191
00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:21,143
Great
192
00:10:21,779 --> 00:10:25,102
Undercover, wow
Hey, do I get to wear a wire?
193
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:27,365
Will we be in dark alleys
with really wet streets?
194
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:30,863
I'm not afraid
I'm just thinking about footwear
195
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:34,418
I'm actually thinking of
this hot gay club on 14th Street
196
00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:37,223
You know, obvious target
Lots of laptop users there
197
00:10:37,223 --> 00:10:38,225
A club?
198
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:39,976
You really think we're gonna
find the perps there?
199
00:10:39,976 --> 00:10:42,587
"Perps."
That's very cute
200
00:10:47,252 --> 00:10:48,568
And I think the meditation room
201
00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:50,699
will end up being your
favorite room in the house
202
00:10:50,699 --> 00:10:54,864
Oh, every room is my favorite
now that my wife has left me
203
00:10:57,446 --> 00:10:59,779
Well, let me paint a picture
204
00:10:59,779 --> 00:11:04,502
Imagine yourself
in an oasis of calm
205
00:11:04,502 --> 00:11:10,169
A place where the world
shuts down and the noise stops
206
00:11:11,767 --> 00:11:12,550
Yes
207
00:11:15,048 --> 00:11:16,646
Exactly
208
00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:21,954
Your cares melt away as you
step onto the heated stone floor
209
00:11:21,954 --> 00:11:26,469
Mmm, a warmth envelops
you from within
210
00:11:30,762 --> 00:11:34,084
You lose yourself as you listen to
the soothing trickle
211
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,899
of the Japanese rock fountain
212
00:11:35,899 --> 00:11:36,542
Oh
213
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:40,648
which mingles harmoniously
with the soothing trickle
214
00:11:40,648 --> 00:11:43,701
of the morphine drip
215
00:11:46,616 --> 00:11:47,981
Around you
216
00:11:47,981 --> 00:11:51,888
cabinets full of pills
await your every mood
217
00:11:52,632 --> 00:11:53,944
Your turn
218
00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:59,255
Medi-ta-tion room
not medi-ca-tion room
219
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:05,010
You say "potato"...
220
00:12:07,555 --> 00:12:11,396
Anyway, I hope you're getting
a sense of what I'm trying to do
221
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:14,123
Yeah, yeah, it's great
I'd go with it right now
222
00:12:14,123 --> 00:12:18,470
but I promised another designer
that I would hear her ideas, too
223
00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,805
Maybe you know her?
She works right next door
224
00:12:20,805 --> 00:12:23,646
Next door?
When did a designer move into the--
225
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:25,065
Hey, neighbs
226
00:12:25,065 --> 00:12:25,619
Vince?
227
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:26,535
Whenever you're ready
228
00:12:26,535 --> 00:12:29,274
and I have a great idea
for a meditation room
229
00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:34,483
Who's crazy now, huh, Grace?
You you you you you you you you!
230
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,438
I hate her
I hate Val
231
00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,200
I'm the kind of person
who doesn't hate anyone!
232
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,989
- You hate your sister
- Well, she's hateful!
233
00:12:50,889 --> 00:12:52,695
But besides her
I don't hate anyone
234
00:12:52,695 --> 00:12:56,556
- You hate your doorman
- Well, he calls me "kiddo" and clicks
235
00:12:57,296 --> 00:13:00,884
Besides my doorman and my sister
I don't hate anyone
236
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:04,855
- You hate Teri Hatcher
- Oh, who doesn't?!
237
00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:08,383
Ok, fine!
So I hate a lot of people
238
00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:10,264
but I hate Val more!
239
00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:13,782
She stole my ideas, then
she has the audacity to come in here
240
00:13:13,782 --> 00:13:16,235
and ask to see
my carpet samples?!
241
00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:19,937
Oh, she was hitting on you?!
242
00:13:24,819 --> 00:13:25,340
No
243
00:13:26,041 --> 00:13:28,804
to use in her presentation
244
00:13:28,804 --> 00:13:31,922
and I told her no way
is she borrowing my stuff
245
00:13:31,922 --> 00:13:33,469
Over my dead body!
246
00:13:33,469 --> 00:13:36,996
I think there's somebody
back there stealing stuff!
247
00:13:42,736 --> 00:13:44,340
- I'm gonna hit her so hard!!
- Honey, no!
248
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:46,278
Just one in the face
It's the only thing she responds to
249
00:13:46,278 --> 00:13:46,866
No, no, no
250
00:13:46,866 --> 00:13:48,390
Now come on. Come on
Come on. Come on
251
00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:49,757
Now listen to me!
252
00:13:49,757 --> 00:13:51,211
If there's anything I've learned
253
00:13:51,211 --> 00:13:54,205
from studying the ancient
Chinese art of t'ai chi
254
00:13:54,205 --> 00:13:56,729
it's that if you do it in the morning
a couple hours later
255
00:13:56,729 --> 00:13:58,484
you're gonna want to do it again
256
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:02,592
You know what I'm talking about?
257
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,869
But if there's
another thing I learned
258
00:14:04,869 --> 00:14:10,030
is that violence
is never the answer
259
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,315
You're right
260
00:14:13,101 --> 00:14:15,796
of course, of course
you're right
261
00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:18,849
Oh ho!
Come on, come on now!
262
00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:34,251
Now, the important thing
is to blend in
263
00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:35,018
Remember
264
00:14:35,018 --> 00:14:38,926
we are two gay
laptop users on a date
265
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,747
- It's only a matter of time
- All right
266
00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:46,695
Should I be wearing
a bullet-proof vest?
267
00:14:46,695 --> 00:14:51,074
Or, considering this is a gay bar
a bullet-proof leather vest?
268
00:14:51,074 --> 00:14:53,716
No, you look fine, Will
You're doing the right thing
269
00:14:53,716 --> 00:14:54,843
If we had more
people like you
270
00:14:54,843 --> 00:14:58,032
we'd get some of
that scum off the streets
271
00:14:58,032 --> 00:15:00,831
Now, look at me
like you love me
272
00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,486
What? Oh!
Oh, I see
273
00:15:07,486 --> 00:15:12,774
Because the-- Right
Ok, um... how's this?
274
00:15:16,424 --> 00:15:17,493
I'm sorry
275
00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:20,054
It's just-- you--you looked
like you were buying it
276
00:15:20,054 --> 00:15:21,906
Did I?
277
00:15:26,014 --> 00:15:27,540
You know
I'm kinda surprised
278
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:29,838
that anybody would
bring their laptop to a bar
279
00:15:29,838 --> 00:15:32,288
- Hold my hand
- Sure
280
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:37,563
You know, but I guess gay people
are more likely to come straight
281
00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,075
from the office
with their laptops
282
00:15:39,075 --> 00:15:41,416
have a few drinks
and that's when it happens
283
00:15:41,416 --> 00:15:44,371
That's a good observation
You'd make a hell of a cop--
284
00:15:44,371 --> 00:15:47,116
Perceptive, intelligent
285
00:15:47,116 --> 00:15:52,557
You got a set of eyes like
two inviting pools of chocolate pudding
286
00:15:55,161 --> 00:15:58,399
Well, we look for that on the force
287
00:16:09,795 --> 00:16:13,381
Love this song
Got a good beat
288
00:16:14,359 --> 00:16:17,610
I guess that would
make us "good beat" cops
289
00:16:21,282 --> 00:16:22,487
You wanna dance?
290
00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:25,864
Oh! Oh, so that way we leave
the laptops unattended
291
00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:28,146
Yeah, sure
Whatever
292
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:56,080
Hey, that guy looks suspicious
293
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,783
He's in a gay bar eating
a hot dog without any irony
294
00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:05,351
You stay right where you are
I'm gonna try to get a better view
295
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:15,508
Oh, yeah
296
00:17:15,508 --> 00:17:18,853
I can see a lot better
from back here
297
00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:29,314
I want my baby back
baby back, baby back
298
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:32,928
I want my baby back
baby back, baby back. I want--
299
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:33,882
Oh, hey, honey
300
00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:35,847
- How you doing?
- Great
301
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:40,417
I took all my anger towards Val
and I put it entirely into my work
302
00:17:40,417 --> 00:17:42,001
Well, maybe not entirely
303
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:45,248
I did make a crank call
to Teri Hatcher
304
00:17:47,078 --> 00:17:48,784
That's so funny, Vince!
305
00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:51,762
- Hi, Grace
- Hey, G-Love
306
00:17:51,762 --> 00:17:56,602
Listen, I ran into Val in the lobby
and she had an interesting idea
307
00:17:56,602 --> 00:17:57,999
to combine both of
your presentations
308
00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,383
into the same meeting
What do you think, huh?
309
00:18:02,304 --> 00:18:06,424
Well, um, you know
I'm not really one to combine things
310
00:18:06,424 --> 00:18:08,901
I mean, I can't even eat
my peas if they're touching the meat
311
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:11,755
especially if the meat is crazy
312
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:15,417
But--but if it will save you time
313
00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:16,431
then let's do it
314
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:17,988
Yeah, let's do it
315
00:18:18,946 --> 00:18:21,454
'Cause this woman has more
talent in her little-boy breasts
316
00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:24,447
than you have in your whole body
317
00:18:26,508 --> 00:18:30,699
Ok, I have some sketches
here for the living room
318
00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:32,405
I have some sketches, too, Vince
319
00:18:32,405 --> 00:18:35,963
but unfortunately
they're up here in the ol' kanoodle
320
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:36,981
Ok
321
00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:42,452
Why don't we now hear
some ideas for the bedroom?
322
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:45,448
Ok. Well, first of all
323
00:18:45,448 --> 00:18:48,450
I think what we need
to do in here is to--
324
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:51,448
Create an intimate feeling
325
00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:54,253
And I thought--
326
00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:56,059
One way we could
accomplish that
327
00:18:56,059 --> 00:18:58,429
is to upholster the walls
with a lovely silk moir?
328
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:01,059
.....silk moir?
329
00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:11,086
That will give the room
a sense of luxury
330
00:19:11,086 --> 00:19:13,288
and it will also absorb
some of the sound
331
00:19:13,288 --> 00:19:15,630
....some of the sound
332
00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:23,130
Your other option, of course
is to cover the walls with--
333
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,114
Stop it
334
00:19:24,114 --> 00:19:25,060
You stop it!
335
00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:26,139
You stop it!
You're a nutjob!
336
00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:26,953
You're a nutjob!
337
00:19:26,953 --> 00:19:28,026
You're a nutjob!
338
00:19:28,026 --> 00:19:28,990
You're a nutjob!
339
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,027
You're a nutjob!
340
00:19:30,027 --> 00:19:33,678
- You're a nutjob!
- Ladies, ladies!
341
00:19:33,678 --> 00:19:36,742
Oh, ladies
342
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:38,182
Vince
343
00:19:38,182 --> 00:19:41,059
I think these two ponies
need to be hosed down
344
00:19:41,059 --> 00:19:43,215
Come out in the hallway for
a minute while I talk to them, ok?
345
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,107
- Yeah, sure
- Thanks
346
00:19:46,543 --> 00:19:48,216
So what's the matter, Grace?
347
00:19:48,216 --> 00:19:49,954
You can't compete
with another designer
348
00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:52,008
who actually has a little talent?!
349
00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:56,710
- You stole my ideas, freak show!
- Oh, puh-leaze!
350
00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:57,445
You!
351
00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:59,772
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! Ladies!
352
00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:03,127
Hey! Hey! Hey! Come
Come. Come. No, no, no, no
353
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:07,649
Come on, ladies. Stop it!
Stop it right now, both of you!
354
00:20:07,649 --> 00:20:10,552
Come here. Come here
Come here right now
355
00:20:10,552 --> 00:20:12,783
Oh! Come here
356
00:20:13,874 --> 00:20:18,776
Whoa. Now, listen to me!
I'm ashamed of both of you
357
00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,991
If there is one thing
that I have learned
358
00:20:21,991 --> 00:20:26,663
from studying the ancient
Chinese art of t'ai chi...
359
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:32,168
is that violence is
never the answer
360
00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:35,755
but sometimes it is
T'ai chi!
361
00:20:39,931 --> 00:20:41,284
Is she out?
362
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:47,827
She's out
363
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:52,039
Ok. Honey, you go get Vince
I'll get rid of the body
364
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,236
Uh, should we maybe go--
365
00:21:10,339 --> 00:21:12,748
We should keep dancing
366
00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:14,073
The number-one lesson
367
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:20,406
when you're on a stakeout is
never change your spot if it's good
368
00:21:20,406 --> 00:21:21,060
Ok
369
00:21:23,693 --> 00:21:33,662
La la la la la. La la la la la~~~
A-doobie doobie do-doo~~~
370
00:21:33,662 --> 00:21:36,846
- Hey, that's annoying
- Hang on. Let me just get this out
371
00:21:36,846 --> 00:21:37,629
Oh!
372
00:21:42,707 --> 00:21:44,324
Feel a little awkward
373
00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:47,389
It's been a long time
since I slow-danced...
374
00:21:47,815 --> 00:21:49,597
with a cop...
375
00:21:50,081 --> 00:21:52,981
whose gun is
poking me in the back...
376
00:21:57,287 --> 00:21:58,038
I hope
377
00:22:01,682 --> 00:22:04,695
Sh-sh-sh-sh-shh
378
00:22:08,123 --> 00:22:10,826
Yeah, you know
actually I could use a drink
379
00:22:10,826 --> 00:22:12,062
Oh, yeah
I'll get you one, honey
380
00:22:12,062 --> 00:22:14,596
Did--did you--
381
00:22:14,596 --> 00:22:16,751
Did you just call me "honey"?
382
00:22:16,751 --> 00:22:18,108
Uh, cop talk
383
00:22:18,108 --> 00:22:22,510
It's the way we talk at the precinct--
Honey, sweetie, Sarge
384
00:22:23,517 --> 00:22:25,344
I'll get you a drink
385
00:22:26,765 --> 00:22:28,408
Oh, my God!
We need to talk
386
00:22:28,408 --> 00:22:31,601
When were you gonna tell me
you were dating freaky teeth guy?!
387
00:22:32,847 --> 00:22:34,949
"Freaky teeth guy"?
388
00:22:34,949 --> 00:22:36,688
You have no idea
what you're getting yourself into
389
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,987
I'd help you
but it's not my problem
390
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:44,857
Tell me about freaky teeth guy
391
00:22:44,857 --> 00:22:45,215
Let's see
392
00:22:45,215 --> 00:22:49,093
We got spinach dip, chives
poppy seed bagel
393
00:22:49,093 --> 00:22:51,960
and chocolate chip cookies
394
00:22:53,474 --> 00:22:55,980
Uh, you got anything else?
395
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,823
Oh, I'll just bring it anyway
in case we change our minds
396
00:23:00,336 --> 00:23:02,320
You know, detective, I--
397
00:23:02,822 --> 00:23:04,247
I have to confess
398
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,751
Um... at one point
tonight when I was with you
399
00:23:09,751 --> 00:23:12,453
I kind of forgot we were
even looking for my laptop
400
00:23:12,876 --> 00:23:17,375
I--I just felt like
I was with you
401
00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:18,973
You know what I mean?
402
00:23:18,973 --> 00:23:20,603
I know what you mean
403
00:23:22,271 --> 00:23:24,311
The Sarge at the precinct had
an expression for it--
404
00:23:24,311 --> 00:23:26,318
Chemistry
405
00:23:31,389 --> 00:23:33,229
But you're not even gay
406
00:23:33,229 --> 00:23:35,936
Guess I'm barking up the wrong tree
407
00:23:38,804 --> 00:23:40,911
Woof!
408
00:23:43,949 --> 00:23:45,562
Woof!
409
00:23:49,486 --> 00:23:52,547
- You mean you're--
- Yes, I am
410
00:23:53,437 --> 00:23:56,359
I'm not gonna lie about it anymore
because there's one thing--
411
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,204
Don't touch the dip
412
00:24:00,437 --> 00:24:03,095
Oh, I'm sorry. I just need to
nosh when I'm nervous
413
00:24:03,095 --> 00:24:04,308
Go on
414
00:24:04,308 --> 00:24:07,359
No, well, you know, the first time
I saw you when this investigation began
415
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,284
I wasn't sure--
416
00:24:08,284 --> 00:24:10,812
I'm not kidding about the dip
417
00:24:12,246 --> 00:24:14,488
Just--I just want a little bit
418
00:24:16,008 --> 00:24:17,080
All right, Will
419
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,397
I want you to drop the bagel
and step away from the dip
420
00:24:24,237 --> 00:24:28,616
- Ok. Maybe just one cookie
- Why'd you do that?!
421
00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:30,999
- Problem, officer?
- Oh!
422
00:24:36,196 --> 00:24:37,409
What's the matter, detective?
423
00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:40,082
Afraid you'll see
some food in my teeth?
424
00:24:40,082 --> 00:24:41,767
Just like you're afraid
to ask guys out
425
00:24:41,767 --> 00:24:43,176
so you make up
some crazy story
426
00:24:43,176 --> 00:24:44,406
in order to spend
time with them?
427
00:24:44,406 --> 00:24:45,892
Who told you that?
428
00:24:45,892 --> 00:24:47,980
Let's just say I know
a little bird who sang
429
00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:49,091
Who?!
430
00:24:49,091 --> 00:24:55,718
La la la la la. La la la la la
La la la la la la-la la la?
431
00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:07,951
There is no gay
laptop ring, is there??
432
00:25:07,951 --> 00:25:08,474
No
433
00:25:08,989 --> 00:25:12,159
And cops don't call
each other "honey"?
434
00:25:12,159 --> 00:25:13,080
No
435
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:14,594
Or "sweetie"?
436
00:25:14,594 --> 00:25:16,522
One does
437
00:25:17,610 --> 00:25:20,852
Will, this is new to me
You know, it's really hard
438
00:25:20,852 --> 00:25:21,975
I've never dated before
439
00:25:21,975 --> 00:25:24,337
Oh, please!
You've already done the hard part
440
00:25:24,337 --> 00:25:25,427
You came out
441
00:25:25,427 --> 00:25:27,737
Now is when you're
supposed to have a little fun
442
00:25:27,737 --> 00:25:29,283
Don't do this to yourself
443
00:25:29,283 --> 00:25:30,897
Just go and ask a guy out
444
00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:33,279
The worst he can say is no
445
00:25:33,279 --> 00:25:35,164
And even then you'll probably
still get a little action
446
00:25:35,164 --> 00:25:37,247
I mean, we are guys
447
00:25:38,142 --> 00:25:40,414
That's good advice, Will
Thank you
448
00:25:40,717 --> 00:25:43,563
So is there anything
you want to ask me?
449
00:25:43,563 --> 00:25:46,100
I don't think so
not with that crap on your teeth
450
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,536
Take care
33806
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