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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,768 --> 00:00:04,903 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 2 00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:07,538 ♪ my back is gettin' tight 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,674 ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ 4 00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:12,711 ♪ on the queensboro bridge tonight ♪ 5 00:00:12,778 --> 00:00:18,016 ♪ but I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ 6 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:21,920 ♪ is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 7 00:00:23,422 --> 00:00:25,790 ♪ 'cause, baby, all my life 8 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:28,359 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 9 00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:38,403 Wow. They broke up a cock-fighting ring in Brooklyn. 10 00:00:38,470 --> 00:00:41,039 Now they're gonna have to put all the chickens to sleep. 11 00:00:41,106 --> 00:00:43,107 That makes me kind of sad. 12 00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:45,209 And yet you can suck on a drumstick 13 00:00:45,277 --> 00:00:46,777 till it sparkles. 14 00:00:48,847 --> 00:00:51,049 You don't think I feel bad after that? 15 00:00:54,053 --> 00:00:57,721 Honey, I am making dinner for your Uncle and your cousin. 16 00:00:57,789 --> 00:00:59,057 A little help here? 17 00:00:59,124 --> 00:01:00,658 What? I'm--I'm coolin' the rolls. 18 00:01:00,725 --> 00:01:02,726 All right. Come on, help. Bring something out. 19 00:01:02,794 --> 00:01:05,463 [Sighing] I don't even wanna have this stupid dinner, anyway. 20 00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:08,333 Come on, your cousin Danny really likes you. Give him a break. 21 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,601 I don't wanna give him a break. He's annoying. 22 00:01:10,669 --> 00:01:13,838 He's like the human version of sand in my underwear. 23 00:01:13,905 --> 00:01:16,774 Well, it'll be nice to see your Uncle stu, right? You like him. 24 00:01:16,842 --> 00:01:19,210 Oh, he's ok, although for that big wet kiss he gives me 25 00:01:19,278 --> 00:01:20,878 every time he sees me. That's brutal. 26 00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:22,580 Oh, he just cares about you. 27 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:24,548 He just likes to show it through 28 00:01:24,616 --> 00:01:26,817 awkward physical man-love, that's all. 29 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,220 Well, I'm off. 30 00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:30,821 What? Where you goin'? 31 00:01:30,889 --> 00:01:33,324 I was at the mall yesterday, and a young man with a clipboard 32 00:01:33,392 --> 00:01:35,659 asked me to assist him in some market research 33 00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:37,962 concerning an upcoming movie. 34 00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:39,630 What movie? 35 00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:41,665 She's got the stuff. 36 00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,801 "It's the story about 5 kids from Pittsburgh 37 00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:44,969 "tryin' to get some 38 00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,871 on the wildest spring break ever." 39 00:01:46,938 --> 00:01:48,672 Oh, that sounds right up your alley, dad. 40 00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:50,841 But don't you remember? Stu's in from new Orleans? 41 00:01:50,909 --> 00:01:52,377 We're having a whole family dinner. 42 00:01:52,444 --> 00:01:53,911 I'm sorry, darling, 43 00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:55,880 but, uh, I promised this young man I'd be there. 44 00:01:55,947 --> 00:01:56,947 So what? 45 00:01:57,016 --> 00:01:59,050 So what? A movie is a team effort! 46 00:01:59,784 --> 00:02:01,886 What if... 47 00:02:01,953 --> 00:02:05,123 Mr. Freddie prinze, Jr. just decided he didn't wanna show up for work? 48 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,357 What then? 49 00:02:06,425 --> 00:02:07,591 (Doug) Let him go! 50 00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:09,394 All right, fine. Go, have fun. 51 00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:10,628 Good night! Good night. 52 00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:11,896 [Doorbell rings] 53 00:02:11,963 --> 00:02:13,231 Oh, they're here. 54 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:15,166 Pucker up. 55 00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,101 Oh, I got an idea! 56 00:02:17,169 --> 00:02:19,703 When Uncle stu makes his move, I'm just gonna tell him I'm sick, huh? 57 00:02:19,771 --> 00:02:21,305 Yeah. You're a genius. 58 00:02:22,574 --> 00:02:23,641 Hey, sweetie. Hey! 59 00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:24,875 Where's your dad? 60 00:02:24,943 --> 00:02:26,144 Oh, he's, uh, parkin' the car. 61 00:02:26,211 --> 00:02:27,678 Listen, here's the deal. Real quick. 62 00:02:27,746 --> 00:02:29,780 He doesn't know my pizza place went out of business, 63 00:02:29,848 --> 00:02:32,083 and he's not exactly up to speed with my wife leavin' me, 64 00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,784 so stay away from those 2 subjects. 65 00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:36,354 Other than that, let's have a nice time. 66 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,056 Hi! Hey! 67 00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:39,357 Carrie! 68 00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:41,959 Doug. 69 00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:43,127 [Coughs] 70 00:02:43,195 --> 00:02:45,729 You know what? I, uh-- I got a cold. Sorry. 71 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,665 Well, don't worry. So do I. 72 00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:53,804 Carrie, this meatloaf is the best thing 73 00:02:53,872 --> 00:02:55,606 I've ever eaten in my life. 74 00:02:55,674 --> 00:02:57,608 Couldn't be more delightful. 75 00:02:57,676 --> 00:03:00,278 Well, if there's one thing I've learned being married to Doug, 76 00:03:00,345 --> 00:03:02,980 it's how to shape ground meat into a pile. Yeah. 77 00:03:04,316 --> 00:03:05,716 [Chuckles] 78 00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:07,685 Hey, when these two come to your pizza place, 79 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,353 you, uh, take care of 'em, huh? 80 00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:11,055 He takes care of you, right? 81 00:03:11,123 --> 00:03:13,023 Uh, a-absolutely. 82 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,059 Yeah, we, uh, never spend a dime in there. 83 00:03:15,127 --> 00:03:16,327 (Stu) Good. 84 00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:18,996 And he catered a party for us once for--for free. 85 00:03:19,064 --> 00:03:20,631 A whole party? 86 00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:22,633 What, are you tryin' to be a big shot? 87 00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,868 For God sakes, you gotta cover your nut. 88 00:03:24,936 --> 00:03:27,472 Right, right. And sorry, sorry. 89 00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:30,040 Yeah, he tries to buy love, this kid. 90 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:31,942 You got a wife at home for that. 91 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:34,278 Look, you're running a business. 92 00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:36,481 Hey, Artie's back. 93 00:03:36,548 --> 00:03:38,749 Hey. Hello, Arthur. 94 00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:40,751 [Both exclaim] 95 00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:43,821 Forgive me for missing dinner, but I had a professional commitment. 96 00:03:43,888 --> 00:03:45,289 I simply couldn't get out of it. 97 00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,725 Well, better late than never. 98 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,293 By the way, Daniel, 99 00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:51,462 I, uh, drove by your pizza place. 100 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:53,598 What happened? Did you have a fire? 101 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:56,567 Uh, no. 102 00:03:56,635 --> 00:03:58,603 Then why was it all boarded up? 103 00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:02,206 Arthur, you, uh, must be talking about the wrong pizza place. 104 00:04:02,274 --> 00:04:05,743 No, 1540 bell boulevard, next to Phil's house of magic. 105 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,178 Oh, we love that place! 106 00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:09,347 Remember, you got stuck in those Chinese handcuffs? 107 00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:12,483 Oh, yeah. I was, like, "whoa, whoa, whoa!" Yeah. 108 00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:15,786 I can laugh about it now, but it was scary then. 109 00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:18,789 Danny, you having a problem with your pizza shop? 110 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,159 [Sighs] 111 00:04:21,226 --> 00:04:22,593 It's gone. 112 00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:24,662 I--I lost the business a couple months ago. 113 00:04:24,729 --> 00:04:27,298 Oh, my God. 114 00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:30,201 So, how have you and eva been getting by? 115 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:31,335 Eva's back? 116 00:04:33,071 --> 00:04:35,339 Sweet diggity! That's good news! 117 00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:40,244 I can't believe this. 118 00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:42,280 Your business is gone, your wife left you. 119 00:04:42,347 --> 00:04:43,947 Why didn't you tell me all this? 120 00:04:44,015 --> 00:04:46,050 I don't know. I was afraid to. I... 121 00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:48,052 I'm your father. I love you. 122 00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:51,121 So, have you got another job? 123 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:54,192 Mmm, I've been lookin', but there's nobody really hirin' right now. 124 00:04:54,259 --> 00:04:56,927 Nobody's hiring, or you're not really looking? 125 00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:58,929 Nobody's hiring. 126 00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:01,098 People have jobs! 127 00:05:01,166 --> 00:05:03,967 Your brother's got a beautiful job as a c.P.A. 128 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,637 Dad, if you know someone that's hiring, why don't you tell me? 129 00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:07,905 'Cause I'd love to know. 130 00:05:07,972 --> 00:05:09,674 Doug's place is hiring. 131 00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:16,980 No, no, no. No, no, no. 132 00:05:17,048 --> 00:05:18,916 That was someone else's place. 133 00:05:18,983 --> 00:05:22,520 Um, yeah, it must've been Hooters, so that wouldn't work. 134 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:23,854 Just a sec. Doug. 135 00:05:23,922 --> 00:05:25,590 Doug, you think there's a chance 136 00:05:25,657 --> 00:05:28,292 you could get an interview for Danny down at I.P.S.? 137 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,928 Uh, I--I guess so. 138 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:32,029 There you go! 139 00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:34,532 Doug's gonna get you an interview! 140 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,867 [Stu laughing] 141 00:05:36,935 --> 00:05:38,969 Thank your cousin there. 142 00:05:39,037 --> 00:05:40,404 Thanks, Doug. 143 00:05:45,510 --> 00:05:47,144 Thank you, Carrie. Nice job. 144 00:05:47,212 --> 00:05:48,512 It just slipped out. 145 00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:50,781 No, no, no. It didn't just slip out. You did it on purpose! 146 00:05:50,849 --> 00:05:52,049 I did not! 147 00:05:52,117 --> 00:05:53,517 You did so! You're always trying 148 00:05:53,585 --> 00:05:55,486 to get me and Danny together, get me closer with my family, 149 00:05:55,554 --> 00:05:57,054 spend more time, love them more. 150 00:05:57,122 --> 00:05:58,789 It's a sickness with you! 151 00:05:58,857 --> 00:06:00,924 I just feel bad for him, that's all. 152 00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:02,993 He's like a-- like a full-grown dog 153 00:06:03,061 --> 00:06:04,928 that's still at the pet shop. 154 00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:07,030 You know, they slashed the price 5 times, 155 00:06:07,098 --> 00:06:10,200 but you know he ain't goin' anywhere. 156 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:13,304 And you know why? 'Cause he's annoying! 157 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,972 Oh, all right. You know what? 158 00:06:15,039 --> 00:06:17,441 It's your work. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have interfered. 159 00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:21,078 That's right. It's my work, ok? And I don't want him there. 160 00:06:21,146 --> 00:06:22,813 [Muttering] I don't know what the big deal is. 161 00:06:22,881 --> 00:06:25,683 The big deal is what I just said over there, ok? 162 00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:27,752 Don't want him working where I work. 163 00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:30,020 I'm at the closet now, but nothing's changed. 164 00:06:30,088 --> 00:06:32,823 The feeling moves with me! 165 00:06:32,891 --> 00:06:36,059 If you're so against it, just call him and say I was wrong 166 00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:37,828 and that they're not hiring. 167 00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:40,097 [Sighs] I can't now. Uncle stu's all over this. 168 00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:41,766 [Phone rings] 169 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:43,801 Don't get it, please. I don't wanna talk to anybody. 170 00:06:43,868 --> 00:06:46,170 (Carrie) You've reached the heffernans. Leave a message. 171 00:06:46,237 --> 00:06:47,271 [Beeps] 172 00:06:47,339 --> 00:06:49,039 (Woman) Hi, Doug, honey. It's mom. 173 00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:50,941 Your father's downstairs with his trains, 174 00:06:51,009 --> 00:06:52,876 so I thought I'd give you a quick jingle. 175 00:06:52,944 --> 00:06:55,078 Listen, I just hung up with your Uncle stu, 176 00:06:55,146 --> 00:06:56,947 and he told me what a wonderful thing 177 00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:58,716 you're doin' for Danny. 178 00:06:58,784 --> 00:07:01,051 I am so proud of you, 179 00:07:01,119 --> 00:07:02,420 and so is God. 180 00:07:03,955 --> 00:07:05,456 Thank you, baby. Love ya. 181 00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:06,791 [Phone receiver clicks] 182 00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:19,568 What you got goin' on there, dad? 183 00:07:19,636 --> 00:07:21,937 It's the questionnaire for she's got the stuff. 184 00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:24,273 It's such a deep and marvelously layered thing 185 00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:27,910 these young filmmakers, the bickel brothers, have put together. 186 00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:31,513 Aren't you supposed to fill those things out right after you see the movie? 187 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:34,049 Well, all the others did, but I requested more time 188 00:07:34,117 --> 00:07:37,286 so I could give them a more in-depth analysis in essay form. 189 00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:40,022 They told me to take all the time I needed. 190 00:07:40,090 --> 00:07:43,225 Well, they must really value your opinion, dad. 191 00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:45,027 Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, 192 00:07:45,095 --> 00:07:46,428 I have to get back to this. 193 00:07:46,496 --> 00:07:48,998 "Who was your favorite character?" 194 00:07:49,065 --> 00:07:52,734 Skeeter stole a piece of my heart, 195 00:07:53,804 --> 00:07:57,472 and g-money took what was left. 196 00:08:06,983 --> 00:08:07,917 [Sighs] 197 00:08:16,259 --> 00:08:18,260 Hey, guy, what are you doin'? 198 00:08:18,328 --> 00:08:19,494 What do you mean? 199 00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:22,865 Why are you using the little handles on your cup? 200 00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:25,000 I don't know. You know, they put 'em on this, 201 00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:27,203 so I figured I'd give them a try. 202 00:08:29,706 --> 00:08:32,174 I gotta tell you, you-- you look ridiculous. 203 00:08:32,809 --> 00:08:34,143 Really? 204 00:08:34,211 --> 00:08:36,946 Well, if this bothers you, you're really gonna hate this. 205 00:08:41,551 --> 00:08:42,684 That's it. Gimme the coffee. 206 00:08:42,752 --> 00:08:43,685 Get off. 207 00:08:43,753 --> 00:08:44,820 Then stop using the handle. 208 00:08:44,888 --> 00:08:46,188 Listen to yourself! 209 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:48,123 Will you look at yourself? You're outta control today. 210 00:08:48,191 --> 00:08:49,791 I'm drinking coffee! 211 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,460 What's with you, man? 212 00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:54,129 [Sighing] Oh, gosh! 213 00:08:54,197 --> 00:08:56,966 It's just last night Carrie opened her stupid mouth 214 00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:59,235 and told my cousin Danny we were hiring. 215 00:08:59,302 --> 00:09:01,036 Now I've gotta get him an interview here. 216 00:09:01,104 --> 00:09:02,204 Really? 217 00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,039 Man, that guy is annoying as hell. 218 00:09:04,107 --> 00:09:05,040 Isn't he? 219 00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,444 There's O'Boyle. 220 00:09:09,512 --> 00:09:10,645 Better go do this now. 221 00:09:10,713 --> 00:09:12,147 All right. Hey. 222 00:09:12,215 --> 00:09:13,249 Good luck. 223 00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,685 [Exclaims] 224 00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:18,254 Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, ma'am, 225 00:09:18,321 --> 00:09:20,289 but sometimes packages get lost. 226 00:09:20,357 --> 00:09:21,690 [Knocking on door] 227 00:09:21,758 --> 00:09:23,025 Yeah, come in! 228 00:09:23,826 --> 00:09:25,560 Yeah, I understand. 229 00:09:25,628 --> 00:09:28,030 The crackers came. The cheese didn't. 230 00:09:28,098 --> 00:09:30,199 Very frustrating. 231 00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:33,936 Look, as soon as I know somethin', I'll call you back. 232 00:09:34,004 --> 00:09:35,971 What is it, Doug? I got, like, 2 seconds here. 233 00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:39,208 All right. Uh, the-- the thing is, I just-- I heard we were hiring, 234 00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:42,111 and I was wondering if you could interview my cousin Danny? 235 00:09:42,178 --> 00:09:44,113 You know, I'm swamped with applications. 236 00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:46,681 Is this guy experienced? 'Cause I don't want to waste my time. 237 00:09:46,749 --> 00:09:47,917 Very experienced, yes. 238 00:09:47,984 --> 00:09:48,984 Good worker? 239 00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:50,552 Excellent. The best. 240 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:52,654 All right. Fine. Have him come in tomorrow morning at 8:00. 241 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,290 [Phone rings] Thanks. Thanks very much. 242 00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:55,391 (O'Boyle) Yeah. 243 00:10:00,297 --> 00:10:02,298 No, I talked to the-- you know-- what? 244 00:10:02,365 --> 00:10:03,465 Just one more thing. 245 00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,867 Could you do me a favor and not hire him? 246 00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:09,838 Wait. You don't want me to hire him? 247 00:10:09,906 --> 00:10:10,906 No. 248 00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:12,607 Duke, can you hang on a second? 249 00:10:12,675 --> 00:10:15,477 Yeah, there's a moron in my office. 250 00:10:15,545 --> 00:10:18,147 What do you mean, don't hire him? You just said how good he was. 251 00:10:18,214 --> 00:10:20,149 Well, he's--he's not that good, really. 252 00:10:20,216 --> 00:10:22,651 Um, he's got a bad knee, and he's not the brightest. 253 00:10:22,718 --> 00:10:24,219 He fell in a pool when he was little, 254 00:10:24,287 --> 00:10:26,655 and he was in there for a while. 255 00:10:26,722 --> 00:10:28,890 Then why the hell do you want me to interview him? 256 00:10:28,959 --> 00:10:30,292 Well, you know, the thing is... 257 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,394 He's definitely good enough to be interviewed, 258 00:10:32,462 --> 00:10:34,529 but not quite good enough to be hired. 259 00:10:34,597 --> 00:10:35,897 He's like a tweener. 260 00:10:35,966 --> 00:10:37,967 What in the hell are you talkin' about? 261 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:40,970 All right, it's a family thing. I--I promised I'd get him an interview, 262 00:10:41,037 --> 00:10:44,239 but I--I really don't want him workin' here. Can you help me out? 263 00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:45,774 Yeah. All right. Fine. 264 00:10:45,842 --> 00:10:47,209 [Sighing] Oh, thanks. 265 00:10:47,277 --> 00:10:50,012 By the way, I drink Johnnie Walker. Black. 266 00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:52,814 Ok. Thanks. 267 00:10:52,882 --> 00:10:56,251 Oh, and if you can make it seem like I really pushed for him, 268 00:10:56,319 --> 00:10:57,886 that'd be great. Thank you. 269 00:10:57,954 --> 00:10:59,221 I'm gonna go now. 270 00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:08,530 Hey, poppin' fresh! 271 00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:10,332 Ok! You gotta stop doin' that. 272 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,567 Hey, Doug, thanks so much for the interview, man. 273 00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:13,668 I'm pumped! 274 00:11:13,736 --> 00:11:14,870 Oh, great. 275 00:11:14,937 --> 00:11:16,305 You know, I had my brown jacket on. 276 00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:18,740 Then I-- then I said to myself, "pff! Idiot! 277 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,476 Wear green, I.P.S. Color!" 278 00:11:20,543 --> 00:11:22,844 You know, be like a subliminal thing, you know? 279 00:11:22,912 --> 00:11:25,614 "Hey, I don't know why, but I gotta hire this guy." 280 00:11:25,681 --> 00:11:27,049 [Laughing] Right? 281 00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:29,251 So you busted out the green jacket, huh? 282 00:11:29,319 --> 00:11:32,554 Oh, no, no, no, no. I--I bought it. Yeah, yeah. It's $150. 283 00:11:32,622 --> 00:11:34,890 But, uh, gotta spend money to make money. 284 00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,058 Mmm? Mmm-hmm. 285 00:11:36,126 --> 00:11:38,227 Oh, uh, Doug, this your cousin? 286 00:11:38,294 --> 00:11:40,195 Uh, yeah, this is him. Great guy. 287 00:11:40,263 --> 00:11:41,530 Come on in. 288 00:11:41,597 --> 00:11:43,899 Oh, hey, any last-minute advice? 289 00:11:43,966 --> 00:11:45,534 No. Just be yourself. 290 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:02,117 Dad, come on. We have to meet Dan and stu at the restaurant in 20 minutes. 291 00:12:02,185 --> 00:12:03,919 Oh, sweetheart, I'm afraid I can't go. 292 00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:05,587 What? Why not? 293 00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:07,456 Oh, filling in this movie survey 294 00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:10,059 has become a real ding-darling of a task. 295 00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:12,894 You're still workin' on this thing? What's the problem? 296 00:12:12,962 --> 00:12:15,364 Well, as I replay the movie in my head, 297 00:12:15,432 --> 00:12:18,100 there are so many nagging questions. 298 00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:20,035 Why do Jeff and Skeeter 299 00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:22,371 have to drive all the way to ft. Lauderdale 300 00:12:22,439 --> 00:12:25,006 just to register for the skateboard competition? 301 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:27,209 Why can't they call ahead? Why? 302 00:12:28,911 --> 00:12:30,946 Maybe there are just some things 303 00:12:31,013 --> 00:12:33,148 we're not meant to know. 304 00:12:33,216 --> 00:12:36,985 And the whole wet t-shirt sequence at the girls' hotel. 305 00:12:37,053 --> 00:12:40,355 It doesn't advance the story one iota. 306 00:12:40,423 --> 00:12:44,359 Yet, I'm loathe to suggest cutting it. 307 00:12:44,427 --> 00:12:47,529 All right, dad, I hate to see you go through all this aggravation, 308 00:12:47,597 --> 00:12:50,299 so I'm just gonna tell you the truth. 309 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,668 You're 60 years older than their target audience. 310 00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:56,004 They don't really care what you think. 311 00:12:56,072 --> 00:12:57,372 Hmm. 312 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,008 Sounds like someone's upset her opinion wasn't asked. 313 00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:01,910 Oy. 314 00:13:01,978 --> 00:13:05,013 Oh, man, Danny, I can't believe you didn't get the job. 315 00:13:05,081 --> 00:13:07,349 That--that is total b.S., is what that is. 316 00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:09,050 He didn't get it? 317 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:10,752 Yeah. All right, man. Well... 318 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,754 I'll see you at the restaurant, buddy. 319 00:13:12,822 --> 00:13:15,023 And hey, keep your chin up. 320 00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,558 Ok. Bye. 321 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:18,827 Oh, well, that's too bad. But you know what? 322 00:13:18,894 --> 00:13:21,363 You got him in there, and that was very sweet of you. 323 00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:24,600 I know. I just feel bad. 324 00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:27,302 You know, like, maybe I could've done more. 325 00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,570 Damn it! 326 00:13:28,638 --> 00:13:30,071 Wait a minute. 327 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,840 I thought you'd be happy he didn't get the job. 328 00:13:31,907 --> 00:13:33,975 Oh, yeah. No, no. I just-- I mean, I said that 329 00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:35,577 to make Danny feel better. 330 00:13:35,645 --> 00:13:38,313 No. The phone call was over. You just said it to me. 331 00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:39,948 Well, it just s-spilled over. 332 00:13:40,016 --> 00:13:42,551 Look, I got him the interview. He didn't get the job. 333 00:13:42,619 --> 00:13:44,386 It happens every day. Back off! 334 00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:46,588 Wait a second. Did you have anything to do 335 00:13:46,656 --> 00:13:48,290 with him not getting that job? 336 00:13:48,358 --> 00:13:50,725 What? What, you think I went in to O'Boyle and said, 337 00:13:50,793 --> 00:13:53,995 "could you take time out of your busy schedule to interview my cousin, 338 00:13:54,063 --> 00:13:55,497 but don't hire him?" 339 00:13:57,700 --> 00:14:00,235 I don't want him workin' there! 340 00:14:00,303 --> 00:14:02,137 I can't believe you did that! 341 00:14:02,205 --> 00:14:05,574 You made him go through a big, stressful job interview for nothing? 342 00:14:05,642 --> 00:14:07,108 Not for nothin'. 343 00:14:07,177 --> 00:14:09,211 He got some very valuable interview experience. 344 00:14:09,279 --> 00:14:11,846 And bonus, he now has a snappy green blazer. Huh? 345 00:14:11,914 --> 00:14:15,317 Oh, that-- yeah, perfect. That'll keep him warm at the homeless shelter. 346 00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,553 Oh, come on, Carrie, nobody got hurt. 347 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,788 I mean, Danny's fine. Uncle stu's happy. 348 00:14:19,855 --> 00:14:21,323 Mom's happy. God's happy. 349 00:14:21,391 --> 00:14:23,992 God is so not happy. 350 00:14:24,060 --> 00:14:25,860 Oh, you know him so well. 351 00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:28,463 God, if you're not happy with me, 352 00:14:28,531 --> 00:14:30,465 hit me with lightning right now. 353 00:14:32,802 --> 00:14:34,636 What's up? What's up? 354 00:14:41,309 --> 00:14:43,110 I wanna thank Doug and Carrie 355 00:14:43,177 --> 00:14:45,879 for showing me such a beautiful time when I was here. 356 00:14:45,946 --> 00:14:50,517 And also, Doug, thanks for goin' the extra mile to help Danny out. 357 00:14:50,584 --> 00:14:52,019 You're good people. 358 00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:01,328 So, what is everyone getting? 359 00:15:01,396 --> 00:15:04,531 I think I'm gonna go with the shrimp and crab bonanza. 360 00:15:04,598 --> 00:15:05,832 Ah! 361 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,468 Well, I guess someone worked up quite an appetite 362 00:15:08,536 --> 00:15:10,603 not getting a job. 363 00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:11,971 Yeah. Right. Good one. 364 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,074 You know, actually, it was probably my fault. 365 00:15:14,142 --> 00:15:16,009 I don't have that much clout at I.P.S. 366 00:15:16,077 --> 00:15:18,345 I'm liked, but not well-liked. 367 00:15:18,413 --> 00:15:21,014 Doug, you don't have to make excuses for him. 368 00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:22,849 Oh, so it's just me, huh, dad? 369 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:25,018 I'm a screw-up? Is that what you're getting at? 370 00:15:25,086 --> 00:15:28,488 You know, they have a dessert on the menu called the fudge slide. 371 00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,790 Anyone else think that's gross? 372 00:15:30,858 --> 00:15:34,094 Look, all's I can say is, they were looking for drivers, 373 00:15:34,162 --> 00:15:37,064 and you had a personal recommendation from Doug here. 374 00:15:37,131 --> 00:15:39,032 All you had to do was go in there, 375 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,468 not wet yourself, and you had that job. 376 00:15:45,373 --> 00:15:47,674 Turn your head back to the group. 377 00:15:47,741 --> 00:15:49,809 Yeah, yeah. I-I'm a real loser, dad. 378 00:15:49,877 --> 00:15:51,945 Right, sure, yeah. And you're a big success? 379 00:15:52,012 --> 00:15:53,646 Selling used mattresses? 380 00:15:54,982 --> 00:15:57,850 They're reconditioned! 381 00:15:57,918 --> 00:16:00,853 You know what? Let's not fight. It's stu's last night. Let's-- 382 00:16:00,921 --> 00:16:04,558 the one thing I know. Your brother would've taken an opportunity like this 383 00:16:04,625 --> 00:16:05,892 and run with it. 384 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,462 Oh, yeah, sure! Mitchell's so wonderful! 385 00:16:08,529 --> 00:16:10,863 Mitchell's a go-getter! You love him so much! 386 00:16:10,931 --> 00:16:14,167 Well, you know what else Mitchell is? He's gay! 387 00:16:14,235 --> 00:16:15,835 That's not true! 388 00:16:20,441 --> 00:16:21,641 [Knocking on door] 389 00:16:21,709 --> 00:16:22,909 Yeah, come in. 390 00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:26,613 Hey, what do you got there, Doug? 391 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,948 Yeah, well, uh, as you requested, 392 00:16:29,016 --> 00:16:32,119 a one-liter bottle containing my end of the deal-- 393 00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:33,753 Johnnie Walker black. 394 00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:36,055 What? 395 00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:37,491 I'm sorry. Was it red? 396 00:16:37,558 --> 00:16:38,958 No. I... 397 00:16:39,026 --> 00:16:41,194 I was just jokin' about you gettin' me that. 398 00:16:41,262 --> 00:16:43,029 Really? 399 00:16:43,097 --> 00:16:45,064 Doug, I've been a recovering alcoholic for 7 years. 400 00:16:46,234 --> 00:16:47,834 My God. I didn't know. I'll just, um-- 401 00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:49,936 that's all right. No, leave it! 402 00:16:58,579 --> 00:17:00,079 Somethin' else? 403 00:17:00,148 --> 00:17:02,649 Actually, it's--it's about my cousin Danny. 404 00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:04,684 Yeah? What about him? 405 00:17:04,752 --> 00:17:07,420 Well, I was wondering if you could reconsider his application, 406 00:17:07,488 --> 00:17:10,423 this time with an eye toward hiring him? 407 00:17:10,491 --> 00:17:13,360 What? You told me you didn't want me to hire him. 408 00:17:13,427 --> 00:17:16,129 Yeah, you know, you're right, and it was because I was-- 409 00:17:16,197 --> 00:17:18,865 I was threatened by his skill and his excellence. 410 00:17:18,932 --> 00:17:20,534 I--I let my personal feelings 411 00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:22,669 get in the way of what's best for the company, 412 00:17:22,736 --> 00:17:24,904 something I swore I would never do, you know. 413 00:17:24,972 --> 00:17:26,540 Doug, 414 00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:29,909 we have a very good stress management counselor here. 415 00:17:31,179 --> 00:17:34,047 Her name is Helen canter. And, uh... 416 00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:37,284 Thanks to her, I'm not hitting you, right now. 417 00:17:40,188 --> 00:17:42,722 I'm, uh, the--the truth is, I--I screwed up, 418 00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,624 and--and I gotta make things right. 419 00:17:44,692 --> 00:17:46,359 Can you please help me out here? 420 00:17:46,427 --> 00:17:48,761 Fine. Have him come in tomorrow morning. 421 00:17:48,829 --> 00:17:49,829 Thank you. 422 00:17:49,897 --> 00:17:51,364 And, Doug. Yeah. 423 00:17:51,432 --> 00:17:54,000 I wouldn't complain if a fistful of Mexican quaaludes 424 00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:55,635 found its way into my drawer. 425 00:17:55,703 --> 00:17:56,703 [Snickers] 426 00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:58,305 That's very funny, sir. 427 00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,048 Hey, babe. What's goin' on? 428 00:18:09,116 --> 00:18:12,219 Uh, just using 2 packets of icing on one toaster strudel. 429 00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:13,520 Happy now, 430 00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:15,021 sad later. 431 00:18:16,357 --> 00:18:18,191 So, how's it going with Danny at I.P.S.? 432 00:18:18,259 --> 00:18:19,992 Are you ok with him workin' there? 433 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,229 Yeah. Actually, O'Boyle put him on the night shift. 434 00:18:22,296 --> 00:18:26,099 He's a pretty fun guy when you never, ever see him. 435 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,067 Well, I finally finished the survey. 436 00:18:28,135 --> 00:18:30,303 I must say, it's been quite an honor 437 00:18:30,371 --> 00:18:34,140 helping to shape she's got the stuff. 438 00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:37,110 You mean the "a" movie that opens today at a theater near you? 439 00:18:37,177 --> 00:18:38,111 What? 440 00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:41,848 They promised they'd wait! 441 00:18:41,915 --> 00:18:43,316 That's Hollywood for you. 442 00:18:43,384 --> 00:18:45,518 They chew you up, and they spit you out. 443 00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:47,920 First it was fatty arbuckle, now it's me. 444 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:58,197 Hey, there he is. Mr. night shift. 445 00:18:58,266 --> 00:18:59,599 He owns the night. 446 00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:01,534 He is the night. 447 00:19:04,838 --> 00:19:07,106 You're still on the night shift, right? 448 00:19:07,174 --> 00:19:08,408 Yeah. 449 00:19:08,476 --> 00:19:11,177 I just, uh, actually, made sort of a decision. 450 00:19:11,245 --> 00:19:12,679 Yeah? What about? 451 00:19:12,747 --> 00:19:13,880 This job. 452 00:19:13,947 --> 00:19:15,014 Not for me. 453 00:19:15,983 --> 00:19:17,083 What? 454 00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:18,518 Yeah, well, first of all, 455 00:19:18,586 --> 00:19:21,521 workin' nights totally screws up my inner clock. 456 00:19:21,589 --> 00:19:22,789 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 457 00:19:22,856 --> 00:19:25,124 And you know that I'm used to being my own boss. 458 00:19:25,192 --> 00:19:27,560 This is a lot of being told what to do. 459 00:19:28,496 --> 00:19:29,763 Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm. 460 00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,298 So, hey, would you do me a favor? 461 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:33,099 Return my uniform back to O'Boyle, 462 00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:35,134 and, uh, also, while you're in there, 463 00:19:35,202 --> 00:19:37,170 could you grab my check? Thanks. 464 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,608 You're--you're not quitting. 465 00:19:41,676 --> 00:19:43,042 Yes, I am. No, you're not. 466 00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:44,110 I am. No! 467 00:19:44,178 --> 00:19:45,912 I've already been in there twice for you, 468 00:19:45,979 --> 00:19:48,114 first to tell him to not hire you, then to hire you. 469 00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:49,683 I'm not goin' in the 3rd time. 470 00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,285 Wait, wait. You told him not to hire me? 471 00:19:52,353 --> 00:19:53,886 The first time, yeah. 472 00:19:55,255 --> 00:19:56,456 Why would you do that? 473 00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:58,625 Because I didn't want you working here. 474 00:19:58,693 --> 00:20:00,427 Well, you got your wish, pal. 475 00:20:00,494 --> 00:20:02,562 I'm not workin' here. See ya! 476 00:20:04,465 --> 00:20:06,733 Oh, you're workin' here. 477 00:20:15,409 --> 00:20:17,176 [Engine starts] 478 00:20:17,244 --> 00:20:18,445 Get back here! 479 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,382 [Tires screech] Try to drive now! 480 00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,050 Fine! I'll walk home! 481 00:20:28,956 --> 00:20:30,457 [Yells] 482 00:20:30,524 --> 00:20:31,991 Ow, you flipped me on cement! 483 00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:33,660 Ow! There's gravel in my knee! 484 00:20:33,728 --> 00:20:34,927 Say it! Say it! 485 00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:36,396 Say you're not quitting! Say it! 486 00:20:36,464 --> 00:20:37,930 No! And if you're worried about O'Boyle, 487 00:20:37,998 --> 00:20:39,932 I'll tell him it was all my fault. 488 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,901 That way, you won't be in trouble, and you won't have to work 489 00:20:41,969 --> 00:20:43,102 with someone you hate! 490 00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:44,103 I don't-- 491 00:20:45,205 --> 00:20:46,606 I don't hate you. 492 00:20:46,674 --> 00:20:48,775 Come on. Yes, you do. 493 00:20:48,843 --> 00:20:50,643 It's just... 494 00:20:50,711 --> 00:20:53,312 Some things about your personality. 495 00:20:53,381 --> 00:20:54,681 What do you mean? 496 00:20:54,749 --> 00:20:56,449 I don't know. You just... 497 00:20:57,485 --> 00:20:59,151 Sometimes you push too hard. 498 00:20:59,219 --> 00:21:00,820 I know. I know. 499 00:21:01,489 --> 00:21:02,922 I do that. 500 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:03,990 Damn me! 501 00:21:06,059 --> 00:21:07,794 I--I just want to be closer to you. 502 00:21:07,862 --> 00:21:10,196 And I would definitely like to see you... 503 00:21:10,264 --> 00:21:11,698 Once in a while. 504 00:21:14,067 --> 00:21:16,870 That's nice to hear, man. 505 00:21:16,937 --> 00:21:19,372 I'm glad we're really talkin'. 506 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,674 It's good. 507 00:21:21,742 --> 00:21:24,310 Doug, I--I feel like givin' you a hug. 508 00:21:24,378 --> 00:21:26,078 Why don't we stand up first? 509 00:21:31,251 --> 00:21:33,019 [Car horn honking] 510 00:21:33,086 --> 00:21:34,954 (Man #1) Dude, I'm driving as fast as I can! 511 00:21:35,022 --> 00:21:37,089 (Man #2) Well, if this crap box isn't in lauderdale by noon 512 00:21:37,157 --> 00:21:39,058 so we can enter the contest, we're toast. 513 00:21:39,126 --> 00:21:42,228 So why don't you call ahead? I'm outta here. 514 00:21:42,296 --> 00:21:43,930 Who's with me? Come on! 38195