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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,668 --> 00:00:04,736 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 2 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:07,438 ♪ my back is gettin' tight 3 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,541 ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ 4 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,544 ♪ on the queensboro bridge tonight ♪ 5 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:15,947 ♪ but I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ 6 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:21,052 ♪ is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 7 00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:25,757 ♪ 'cause, baby, all my life 8 00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:28,359 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 9 00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:40,071 Check it out. 10 00:00:40,139 --> 00:00:43,107 "Whips and chains." 11 00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:45,576 What's the matter? My back rubs not doing it for you anymore? 12 00:00:47,212 --> 00:00:48,446 Page 24. 13 00:00:50,782 --> 00:00:52,116 Oh, my God. 14 00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:56,454 What is he doing to him? 15 00:00:56,521 --> 00:00:59,657 Oh, I'm sorry, 42. 16 00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:01,426 Yeah, but what is he doing to him? 17 00:01:01,493 --> 00:01:02,593 Come on, 42. Page 42. 18 00:01:02,661 --> 00:01:04,728 Ok, all right. Come on. 19 00:01:04,796 --> 00:01:07,098 There it is. Look right there. 20 00:01:07,166 --> 00:01:11,702 "Ebony God seeks dominant professional type for late-night spank sessions." 21 00:01:13,238 --> 00:01:14,738 "Full dungeon." 22 00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:18,909 Where are we at here, Doug? 23 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:21,045 The phone number. Look, it's Deacon's phone number. 24 00:01:21,113 --> 00:01:23,014 I put the ad in there to get back at him. 25 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,816 Are you two still having that stupid practical joke war? 26 00:01:25,884 --> 00:01:27,651 You bet your sweet bananas we are. 27 00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:30,288 How great is this? He's probably getting calls from s&m freaks, 28 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:32,156 oh, right about now. 29 00:01:34,126 --> 00:01:36,527 Doug, the man has children. 30 00:01:36,595 --> 00:01:38,463 And he should've thought of that 31 00:01:38,530 --> 00:01:42,200 before he put a sign on my back that said "I love butter." 32 00:01:42,267 --> 00:01:46,270 Actually, it said "I heart butter," but that's what it meant. 33 00:01:46,338 --> 00:01:48,272 But you do heart butter. 34 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:50,941 That's my business, not the whole world's, ok? 35 00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:52,076 (Arthur) Morning, all. 36 00:01:52,144 --> 00:01:53,777 Morning. Hey. 37 00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:55,446 "Whips and chains." 38 00:01:56,248 --> 00:01:58,016 Good for you, kids. 39 00:02:00,719 --> 00:02:03,021 Just be safe. 40 00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:05,523 Good-bye. Bye. 41 00:02:05,590 --> 00:02:08,692 Darling, I have a legal matter I need your assistance with. 42 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:09,894 What are you talking about? 43 00:02:09,961 --> 00:02:11,929 I was down on the boardwalk last night, 44 00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,798 and I paid a fellow $12 to draw my portrait. 45 00:02:14,866 --> 00:02:16,567 Look at this. Look. 46 00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:19,270 [Laughs] 47 00:02:19,338 --> 00:02:20,604 That's funny. 48 00:02:20,672 --> 00:02:22,440 It's not funny. It's humiliating. 49 00:02:22,508 --> 00:02:24,308 People were gathered around laughing, 50 00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:26,511 having a great time at my expense. 51 00:02:26,578 --> 00:02:29,280 All right, so what do you want to do? You want to sue the artist? 52 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:33,351 Well, I estimate I endured $1 million worth of pain and suffering. 53 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:37,788 Between you and me, I'd settle out of court for $8,000. 54 00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:39,790 Well, good luck with that. 55 00:02:39,858 --> 00:02:41,125 So, you're not gonna help me? 56 00:02:41,193 --> 00:02:43,027 Dad, how am I supposed to help you? 57 00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:45,763 I'm not a lawyer, and I think the picture's hilarious. 58 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,465 Oh, so that how it's going to be. 59 00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,233 Well, thank you very little! 60 00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:52,203 Uh, excuse me, but what do you think I do there? 61 00:02:52,271 --> 00:02:55,005 I'm a secretary. The lawyers handle the law. 62 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:58,409 I type and make sure they're not thirsty. 63 00:02:58,477 --> 00:03:03,781 Would it kill you to show them this picture as you hand them a snapple? 64 00:03:03,848 --> 00:03:05,816 Would you stop it? I mean, for God's sakes, 65 00:03:05,884 --> 00:03:08,652 you've never expressed any interest in my job until now, 66 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,654 when you need something. That's not true! 67 00:03:10,722 --> 00:03:13,324 Oh, really? Have you ever once come down to visit me? 68 00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:15,426 Do you have any idea what I actually do there? 69 00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:17,728 How I actually spend my day? No, you don't. 70 00:03:17,796 --> 00:03:19,930 Well, you have no idea how I spend my day. 71 00:03:19,998 --> 00:03:21,365 You sit around in your underwear, 72 00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,667 and you make crank phone calls. 73 00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:26,304 Those were inquiries! 74 00:03:31,876 --> 00:03:33,144 Hey, Carrie? Um? 75 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:35,613 Can you tell if this milk is good? 76 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,715 What's the date on it? Yesterday. 77 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:38,882 I don't know, who's it for? 78 00:03:38,950 --> 00:03:40,684 Del pozo. It's fine. 79 00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:44,922 Here she is, Mr. spooner. 80 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,657 Thank you, young man. 81 00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,763 Dad, what are you doing here? 82 00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:55,433 Does this have anything to do with that stupid caricature? 83 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:58,136 No, no. I was just reflecting on your comments earlier, 84 00:03:58,203 --> 00:03:59,737 and I realized you were right. 85 00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,939 I should take a more active interest in your life. 86 00:04:02,007 --> 00:04:03,474 So, here I am. 87 00:04:04,075 --> 00:04:05,143 Really? 88 00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,710 Absolutely. 89 00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:10,414 Dad, that's... That's so sweet. Thank you. 90 00:04:10,482 --> 00:04:13,618 Well, instead of thanking me, how about giving me a grand tour? 91 00:04:13,685 --> 00:04:16,887 Ok, well, I don't know how grand it is, but here goes. 92 00:04:16,955 --> 00:04:19,290 Wow me. Ok, um... 93 00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,859 All right, well, this, this whole area here 94 00:04:21,926 --> 00:04:24,462 is where we keep files relating to our pending cases. 95 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,031 Uh-huh, and you file them alphabetically or... 96 00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:28,332 Alphabetically, yes. 97 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,202 That's a marvelous sorting system. 98 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:33,371 And, uh, this is the coffee area. 99 00:04:33,438 --> 00:04:36,174 This is where I get my boss, you guessed it, coffee. 100 00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:38,309 Tell me, do you use a percolator? 101 00:04:38,377 --> 00:04:39,710 Drip. Drip. 102 00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:42,513 Fancy. 103 00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:44,448 And then we're back at my desk, 104 00:04:44,516 --> 00:04:45,849 and that's basically the tour. 105 00:04:45,917 --> 00:04:48,986 Well, thank you for that behind-the-scenes peek. 106 00:04:49,054 --> 00:04:50,721 [Telephone rings] Oh, that's my phone. 107 00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:51,889 I have to get that. Good. 108 00:04:51,956 --> 00:04:54,392 Now I get to see you in action. 109 00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:56,527 Mr. Grossman's office. 110 00:04:56,595 --> 00:04:59,230 Oh, he's at lunch. May I take a message? 111 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,299 You're good. 112 00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:10,641 Take the ad out now. 113 00:05:12,244 --> 00:05:14,245 Ad? I don't have any time to place any ads. 114 00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,547 I'm too busy hearting butter. 115 00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:18,015 Just cancel it, ok? 116 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:21,352 There they are, butch Cassidy and the dumb-ass kid. 117 00:05:22,854 --> 00:05:23,887 Hey, spero. 118 00:05:23,955 --> 00:05:25,256 How's it going, man? 119 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:27,491 Oh, terrible. My deliveries are spread all over town. 120 00:05:27,559 --> 00:05:30,060 Kind of like your mother, heffernan. 121 00:05:30,128 --> 00:05:31,762 You know, guy, enough. 122 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:34,699 Listen, Rico just pulled out of the calendar. 123 00:05:34,766 --> 00:05:36,467 Now we're gonna need a new Mr. April. 124 00:05:36,535 --> 00:05:37,901 What calendar? 125 00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:39,704 The men of I.P.S. Calendar. 126 00:05:39,771 --> 00:05:43,708 You know, to raise money for some juvenile something or other, you know. 127 00:05:43,775 --> 00:05:45,109 What do you say, guys, huh? 128 00:05:45,176 --> 00:05:47,177 I'm assuming you want to sell a couple of these things, 129 00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:49,079 so that let's him out. Sure. I'll do it. 130 00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:51,081 Whoa, what the hell's that supposed to mean? 131 00:05:51,149 --> 00:05:53,751 It's supposed to mean that ebony God is probably a better choice 132 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:55,720 than pasty doughboy. 133 00:05:55,787 --> 00:05:57,921 So that's how it's gonna be, huh? You know what? 134 00:05:57,989 --> 00:05:59,990 I'll do the calendar. Well, I wanna do it. 135 00:06:00,058 --> 00:06:01,359 Whoa, if you're both interested, 136 00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:03,461 I'm going to have to let the guys upstairs decide. 137 00:06:03,528 --> 00:06:06,364 They're gonna need snapshots, and you gotta fill out this bio stuff. 138 00:06:06,431 --> 00:06:07,732 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 139 00:06:07,799 --> 00:06:09,433 All right, whoever gets it should know 140 00:06:09,501 --> 00:06:13,871 the shoots gonna be here Friday night after work. I'm doing it. 141 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:16,574 Well, let the games begin, Mr. Palmer. 142 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:17,975 That's Mr. April to you. 143 00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:19,810 No, no, no, no, no. I'm Mr. April. 144 00:06:19,878 --> 00:06:23,547 You're Mr. march-your-cocoa-buns- out-of-here, yeah. 145 00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:27,084 Yeah. What's up? What's up? 146 00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:36,693 I hate it when they get stuck. 147 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,428 Well, thanks for lunch, dad. That was really nice. 148 00:06:39,496 --> 00:06:42,065 Yeah, those Chinese make a delightful bowl of rice. 149 00:06:42,132 --> 00:06:44,867 Actually, it was benihana. It's Japanese. 150 00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:46,635 6 of 1. 151 00:06:47,437 --> 00:06:49,205 Well, I'm off. 152 00:06:49,272 --> 00:06:51,941 Got a boatload of things to put in my diary. 153 00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:55,311 All right. Well, thanks for coming, dad. That was great. 154 00:06:55,378 --> 00:06:57,847 Pleasure was all mine. Enjoy the rest of your day. 155 00:06:57,915 --> 00:06:59,015 Ok. 156 00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:02,952 Give that gal a promotion! 157 00:07:06,289 --> 00:07:08,557 Your dad seems to be an ok fella. 158 00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,426 He is. Thanks. 159 00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:12,261 Treasure him, Carrie. 160 00:07:12,329 --> 00:07:14,764 Do you know, sometimes we hear 161 00:07:14,832 --> 00:07:18,067 what our elder statespeople say, but we don't listen. 162 00:07:18,135 --> 00:07:20,269 Uh, what's the difference? 163 00:07:20,337 --> 00:07:22,171 Well, to hear is just to hear, 164 00:07:22,239 --> 00:07:25,141 but to listen, that's hearing and then some. 165 00:07:27,244 --> 00:07:28,544 Got it. 166 00:07:28,612 --> 00:07:30,813 By the way, I wanted to mention if he's interested, 167 00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:32,949 we've started a senior jobs program here. 168 00:07:33,016 --> 00:07:36,485 You know, something to give the old people a sense of dignity and purpose. 169 00:07:37,454 --> 00:07:39,122 Pays $3.50 an hour. 170 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:44,460 So, w-what are you saying? You want my dad to work here? 171 00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:46,295 Every day? If he's interested. 172 00:07:46,363 --> 00:07:47,563 [Stammers] 173 00:07:47,631 --> 00:07:50,332 Oh, that's awfully nice, but no... I don't... no. 174 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,734 You sure? 175 00:07:51,802 --> 00:07:53,903 Y-y-yeah, he wouldn't be interested. N-no, yeah. 176 00:07:53,971 --> 00:07:55,004 Well, it's out there. 177 00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:56,272 Ok. Ok. 178 00:08:07,584 --> 00:08:09,886 What ya got going there, fonzie? 179 00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:14,257 Ah, there's this I.P.S. Calendar for charity. 180 00:08:14,324 --> 00:08:17,726 Deacon and I are both going for the last spot. 181 00:08:17,795 --> 00:08:19,728 Doug, uh, can I bounce something off you? 182 00:08:19,797 --> 00:08:21,764 Yeah, you know what? Take my picture first, though. 183 00:08:21,832 --> 00:08:23,432 I just-- I need it for a-- there you go. 184 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,034 Whoa, what the hell. 185 00:08:25,102 --> 00:08:26,468 You got, like, half my face! 186 00:08:26,536 --> 00:08:28,437 Well, honey, I need to talk to you about something. 187 00:08:28,505 --> 00:08:30,039 All right, but I need a good picture. 188 00:08:30,107 --> 00:08:31,674 Stand over there. The light's better. 189 00:08:31,741 --> 00:08:32,875 Over there. Over there. 190 00:08:32,943 --> 00:08:34,844 Ok, but don't take it yet. I'm not ready yet. 191 00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:37,280 Let me get set here. So, what's the problem? 192 00:08:37,347 --> 00:08:41,150 All right. So, there's this part-time job available at my office, 193 00:08:41,218 --> 00:08:44,120 and Mr. pruzan said my dad could have it if he wanted it. 194 00:08:44,188 --> 00:08:45,554 Are you ready yet? Yeah, yeah. 195 00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:47,523 Ok. Wait, w-wait! 196 00:08:47,590 --> 00:08:50,159 What's my best look? Should I smile? 197 00:08:51,161 --> 00:08:54,130 Or pout, like this. 198 00:08:54,198 --> 00:08:58,234 All right, well, if those are my choices, I reluctantly take pout. 199 00:09:00,304 --> 00:09:02,504 I said pout, not constipated. 200 00:09:05,508 --> 00:09:07,409 All right, so what do you think I should do? 201 00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:09,545 Do you think I should let dad work at my office? 202 00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:10,713 No! 203 00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:12,181 [Purring] No. 204 00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:17,153 I did say no, but I feel terrible about it. 205 00:09:17,221 --> 00:09:19,488 I mean, he has nothing else going on in his life. 206 00:09:19,556 --> 00:09:21,157 I mean, nothing. Sure he does. 207 00:09:21,225 --> 00:09:24,693 He gets that magazine now, right? 208 00:09:24,761 --> 00:09:27,730 He'd love to work there, too. I mean, you should have seen him today. 209 00:09:27,797 --> 00:09:29,765 He had this little peppy bounce in his step, 210 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,236 like--like after he takes his blue pills. 211 00:09:33,303 --> 00:09:35,104 So then let him work there. 212 00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:38,207 I can't! Because every second I'll be worried if he's going to say something 213 00:09:38,275 --> 00:09:39,842 or do something to embarrass me. 214 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:42,278 You know, he tipped one of the partners today. 215 00:09:42,346 --> 00:09:44,646 And not a lot. 216 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:47,016 Hey, a minute's just about up, and here we come. 217 00:09:47,084 --> 00:09:49,618 Coming into focus now. And... 218 00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:52,554 Wow. 219 00:09:52,622 --> 00:09:56,125 Time to cram some fake crap into my bio. 220 00:09:56,193 --> 00:09:57,960 I can't let him work there. You know why? 221 00:09:58,028 --> 00:10:00,162 Because if he works there, then I'll go crazy. 222 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:02,265 If I go crazy, then they fire me. 223 00:10:02,332 --> 00:10:04,133 If they fire me, we lose the house, 224 00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:05,467 and he has to live in a crate. 225 00:10:05,535 --> 00:10:08,570 So really, I'm doing this for him. 226 00:10:10,407 --> 00:10:11,573 Right? 227 00:10:14,511 --> 00:10:15,811 Ok, good. 228 00:10:22,119 --> 00:10:23,819 Morning. Dad. 229 00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:25,421 Morning, cupcake. 230 00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,356 I see you're busy. That's great. 231 00:10:27,424 --> 00:10:31,360 It's great to be busy, isn't it? You're a busy, busy little bee, huh? 232 00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:34,430 Well, I am just going to head out to work, 233 00:10:34,497 --> 00:10:37,699 and let you get back to your reading. 234 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,568 What are you reading, an instruction book? 235 00:10:39,636 --> 00:10:42,038 Yeah, for the electric knife. 236 00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:43,973 Do we have an electric knife? 237 00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:47,276 I didn't see one, but if it ever turns up, I'll be ready. 238 00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:49,245 Great, great. 239 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:50,846 Now where are my glasses? 240 00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:53,749 The print on this warranty card is so tiny. 241 00:10:55,518 --> 00:10:56,585 Here you go. 242 00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:58,554 Oh, thank you, darling. 243 00:10:58,621 --> 00:11:00,222 You're a good daughter. 244 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:03,359 Please, it's... Bye, ok, bye-bye. 245 00:11:05,429 --> 00:11:07,596 Have a good day at work. Ok. 246 00:11:12,436 --> 00:11:13,535 Dad, 247 00:11:14,704 --> 00:11:16,238 get your coat. 248 00:11:19,509 --> 00:11:21,543 (Arthur) ♪ oh, ba boppity beep beep 249 00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:26,515 ♪ boppity boo boo be ba ba ba ba bah ♪ 250 00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:28,117 Here you go, young lady. Your mail, 251 00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,186 and what's this in your ear? 252 00:11:30,253 --> 00:11:32,554 [Pops tongue] A mint, for you! 253 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:35,924 Uh, ok, thank you. 254 00:11:35,993 --> 00:11:37,726 You're very welcome. 255 00:11:37,794 --> 00:11:40,296 [Phone ringing] Oh, hello, miss. I'm sorry. 256 00:11:40,364 --> 00:11:42,498 I forget the name. 257 00:11:42,565 --> 00:11:44,833 What ya got there, dad? Y-you got some mints? 258 00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,069 I'm giving them out to everyone with the mail. 259 00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:50,239 It's an icebreaker. You start out by talking about the mints. 260 00:11:50,307 --> 00:11:52,174 The next thing you know, you're pals. 261 00:11:52,242 --> 00:11:53,876 I learned that on an airplane 262 00:11:53,943 --> 00:11:56,312 sitting next to a Mr. gil Gerard. 263 00:11:58,615 --> 00:12:02,018 I guess. I just wish you weren't reaching into people's ears. 264 00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:04,887 Darling, you are so cute. 265 00:12:04,954 --> 00:12:07,956 It's not really in their ear. I palm it. 266 00:12:11,428 --> 00:12:13,396 Even so. 267 00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:15,431 Pardon me, my duties await. 268 00:12:15,499 --> 00:12:18,000 Hey, Eddie! Got an air mail for you. 269 00:12:29,446 --> 00:12:30,946 Hey, buddy. 270 00:12:31,014 --> 00:12:33,082 Hey, it's Doug half-a-man. 271 00:12:35,052 --> 00:12:36,885 Half-a-man instead of heffernan. 272 00:12:36,953 --> 00:12:39,355 That's great. I like that. That's good. 273 00:12:39,423 --> 00:12:41,090 Hey, what you got there, peanut butter? 274 00:12:41,158 --> 00:12:42,658 Yep. I like peanut butter. 275 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:43,892 Spreads nice and easy. 276 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,495 Speaking of which, my mother says hi. 277 00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:49,798 What do you want? 278 00:12:49,866 --> 00:12:52,234 Actually, you know what? It's about the calendar. 279 00:12:52,302 --> 00:12:55,171 I just thought that, you know, if you could put in a good word for me 280 00:12:55,238 --> 00:12:57,239 with the p.R. Guys, and while you were doing that, 281 00:12:57,307 --> 00:12:59,308 I--I could load your truck or do your rounds. 282 00:12:59,376 --> 00:13:01,710 Doug, save your breath. You're in. 283 00:13:01,778 --> 00:13:03,212 Really? I got it? 284 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,047 Yeah, I don't know what the guys up there are sniffing, 285 00:13:05,115 --> 00:13:07,716 but, uh, it's all you there, lumpy. 286 00:13:07,784 --> 00:13:09,952 All right, thanks. 287 00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:11,887 Hey, spero, I forgot. 288 00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:13,456 Who--who did you say they were picking for the calendar? 289 00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:15,291 You the man. What? 290 00:13:15,358 --> 00:13:16,625 I'm the man. 291 00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:18,660 Now, I-I'm confused, see. 292 00:13:18,728 --> 00:13:21,330 So you're saying that Mr. Palmer here not the man. 293 00:13:21,398 --> 00:13:23,031 That's right. Well, I can't believe it. 294 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,900 What the hell are they thinking upstairs? 295 00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:26,502 It wasn't what they were thinking, 296 00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:28,804 so much as what they were feeling. You know what I'm saying? 297 00:13:28,871 --> 00:13:30,906 'Cause sexy is sexy! 298 00:13:32,476 --> 00:13:34,310 You drive safe now. 299 00:13:43,185 --> 00:13:45,186 Carrie? Have you seen your father? 300 00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:46,854 I've got a bunch of outgoing mail. 301 00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:49,356 You're looking for Arthur? He just went into the conference room. 302 00:13:49,424 --> 00:13:51,592 Now? But I thought the partners were in there 303 00:13:51,659 --> 00:13:55,062 meeting with those congressmen from the finance committee. 304 00:13:55,130 --> 00:13:58,065 All I know is Arthur just walked in there with a big bag of mints. 305 00:14:03,438 --> 00:14:08,342 All right. You're dreaming, Carrie. Just wake up. 306 00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:11,478 Wake up. Wakey, wakey. Ok. 307 00:14:13,181 --> 00:14:14,314 Crap! 308 00:14:15,884 --> 00:14:16,951 And then another time-- 309 00:14:17,018 --> 00:14:19,286 ah, excuse me. Hi, dad. 310 00:14:19,354 --> 00:14:22,790 Listen, uh, people are out there asking for their mints. 311 00:14:22,858 --> 00:14:24,158 Sweetheart, I was in the middle-- 312 00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:26,260 he gets a little confused sometimes. Come on, buddy. 313 00:14:26,327 --> 00:14:28,262 Let's not bother these nice people anymore. 314 00:14:28,329 --> 00:14:32,332 He's not bothering us. We just asked him to recommend a good deli. 315 00:14:35,203 --> 00:14:39,473 Oh, ok, good. You've got the right guy here, I'll tell ya. 316 00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:42,476 You know what we call him: The deli lama. That's him, ok. 317 00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:46,013 All right... Oh--oh. You don't... Yeah, ok, good. Bye. 318 00:14:50,285 --> 00:14:53,187 Darling, I'm going now. 319 00:14:53,255 --> 00:14:55,823 Going? I thought you worked until 4:00. 320 00:14:55,891 --> 00:14:58,292 Actually, I was let go. 321 00:14:58,359 --> 00:15:01,495 What? They fired you? 322 00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:04,331 Apparently there wasn't room in the budget for me. 323 00:15:04,399 --> 00:15:08,202 Dad, that's absurd. They pay you less than minimum wage. 324 00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:11,939 Excuse me. Uh, Mr. pruzan, why did you guys fire my dad? 325 00:15:12,007 --> 00:15:13,307 We didn't. He quit. 326 00:15:13,374 --> 00:15:15,943 Oh, you must be mixed up. I was let go. 327 00:15:16,011 --> 00:15:19,046 Sir, you just came up to me and said, "I quit." 328 00:15:19,114 --> 00:15:21,648 It was merely to save face after I was fired. 329 00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:23,550 Who fired you? 330 00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:25,485 Why, boss terwilliger. 331 00:15:27,588 --> 00:15:29,089 Dad, what are you talking about? 332 00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:31,892 [Phone ringing] Look, I was fired, ok? Fired. 333 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,862 And that's all I have to say on the subject. 334 00:15:36,898 --> 00:15:38,866 There is no boss terwilliger. 335 00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,234 I know. Ok. 336 00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:45,806 Doug, come on. I'm growing a beard here. 337 00:15:46,908 --> 00:15:49,877 There he is. Very nice. 338 00:15:49,945 --> 00:15:52,213 I don't know. You don't think it looks too stupid? 339 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,014 It's for a charity. 340 00:15:54,082 --> 00:15:57,517 Every month has a gimmick. You're the April-showers guy. 341 00:15:57,585 --> 00:16:00,287 Just be happy you're not baby new year. 342 00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:02,122 Yeah, I guess I caught a break there. 343 00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:04,491 All right. Nice and loose here. Nice and loose. Ready to work? 344 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,160 Ok, you're thinking: 345 00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:09,129 "Boy, I've got a special delivery for you!" 346 00:16:09,197 --> 00:16:12,099 That's it! All right. Give me that precious look. 347 00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,567 Work the Dolly. Work the Dolly. 348 00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:16,136 Work the umbrella. Come on, work the umbrella. 349 00:16:16,204 --> 00:16:18,272 Kind of scoot around it. That's it. That's it. 350 00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,407 Give me that... A little more precious. 351 00:16:20,475 --> 00:16:24,845 Not that, no. That! That's the money! That's the money. Yes! 352 00:16:24,913 --> 00:16:28,148 Ok. Good. Good. Your--your tie's a little crooked there. 353 00:16:28,216 --> 00:16:29,316 Ok. Just a little... 354 00:16:29,384 --> 00:16:30,617 Like this? No, the other side. 355 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,052 Here. Let me get it. 356 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,588 It's going so well. Yeah. That's better. 357 00:16:34,655 --> 00:16:37,057 Now, I want you to let all your natural charm 358 00:16:37,125 --> 00:16:38,625 just seep out, huh? Ok, yeah. 359 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,528 Man, are you firm. Wow. Working out, huh? Nice traps. 360 00:16:41,596 --> 00:16:42,662 Huh? 361 00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:44,598 Nice traps. Yeah. 362 00:16:44,665 --> 00:16:46,466 [Clears throat] Mmm. 363 00:16:46,534 --> 00:16:48,535 How about, uh, we get back to the calendar there? 364 00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,104 We got some juveniles to save, huh? 365 00:16:50,171 --> 00:16:52,839 Wow! That's a lot of boy. Yeah. 366 00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:56,076 Doug, uh, I got to level with you. 367 00:16:56,144 --> 00:16:58,312 There's no juveniles. 368 00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:00,547 No juveniles? No juveniles. 369 00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:03,517 No juveniles, no calendar, just you, me. 370 00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:05,652 [Sighs] 371 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,155 And a whole lot of sexual tension. 372 00:17:10,725 --> 00:17:12,192 Not getting that. 373 00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,593 Come on, Doug. 374 00:17:13,661 --> 00:17:15,396 Wrap those linebackin' meat hooks around me, 375 00:17:15,463 --> 00:17:16,663 and pull me into the huddle. 376 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,032 What's going on here, man? Whoa! 377 00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:20,267 What are you tellin' me? Are you tellin' me you're gay? 378 00:17:20,335 --> 00:17:24,704 I'm not gay gay. I'm what you call bi-curious. 379 00:17:24,772 --> 00:17:26,307 Whatever. Look, I gotta go, man. 380 00:17:26,374 --> 00:17:29,109 I'm really late for something not gay. 381 00:17:29,177 --> 00:17:32,546 Oh, God! I should've never done this. 382 00:17:32,613 --> 00:17:34,514 Hey, don't tell anybody about this, huh? 383 00:17:34,582 --> 00:17:37,084 All right, look, I'm not going to tell anybody you're gay, ok? 384 00:17:37,152 --> 00:17:38,618 Thanks, Doug. Thanks, man. Ok. 385 00:17:38,686 --> 00:17:40,287 Hey, Doug, thanks. 386 00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:41,922 Ok. All right, man. Ok. There you go. 387 00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:43,090 Gotcha! 388 00:17:43,158 --> 00:17:44,925 [All laughing] 389 00:17:44,993 --> 00:17:46,893 Hey, heffernan. 390 00:17:46,962 --> 00:17:48,595 You are looking good! 391 00:17:48,663 --> 00:17:50,697 (Deacon) Oh, man! You should've seen your face. 392 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:52,899 [Imitating doug] I got to go somewhere not gay. 393 00:17:52,968 --> 00:17:54,435 [All laughing] 394 00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:57,104 All right, guys. Knock it off. Enough, enough. All right? 395 00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:59,306 Leave him alone. You all right, pal? 396 00:17:59,374 --> 00:18:00,441 I'm ok. 397 00:18:00,508 --> 00:18:01,608 Good. 398 00:18:01,676 --> 00:18:04,845 You want to go to the prom with me? 399 00:18:04,912 --> 00:18:07,881 Yeah, funny, man! You guys are funny. Funny stuff, guys! 400 00:18:07,949 --> 00:18:09,883 It was a goof, porks. 401 00:18:09,951 --> 00:18:11,952 I'd tell you to lighten up, but that might be hard for you. 402 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:14,254 You know what, man? I had enough of your crap, man! 403 00:18:14,322 --> 00:18:15,489 Hey, keep your hands off me. 404 00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:16,656 Oh! God, oh! 405 00:18:16,724 --> 00:18:17,824 What the hell did you do? 406 00:18:17,892 --> 00:18:19,093 He came at me. You saw it. 407 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,794 Oh, God. Oh, God, it's broken, man. 408 00:18:20,862 --> 00:18:22,463 Oh, my God. He's really hurt. It's broken! 409 00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,465 Somebody get some help now! Now! 410 00:18:24,532 --> 00:18:26,166 Look, it was just a joke, man. You ok? 411 00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:28,602 Just a joke. It's ketchup. Mmm. 412 00:18:28,669 --> 00:18:30,937 But it tastes like victory! 413 00:18:31,006 --> 00:18:32,806 (Deacon) Man! 414 00:18:32,874 --> 00:18:34,074 You knew the whole time? 415 00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:35,976 Oh, yeah, man! You kiddin' me? 416 00:18:36,044 --> 00:18:37,411 Spero told me this morning. 417 00:18:37,479 --> 00:18:39,113 See, you thought you were getting me, 418 00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,248 but I flipped her around on you! 419 00:18:41,316 --> 00:18:42,749 Yabba dabba! 420 00:18:48,056 --> 00:18:49,990 Nice work. Can I get the film now? 421 00:18:50,058 --> 00:18:52,592 Yeah. It's digital. That way, they go right on the Internet. 422 00:18:52,660 --> 00:18:53,894 Sweet! 423 00:18:58,633 --> 00:19:00,467 [Elevator bell dings] 424 00:19:02,937 --> 00:19:04,971 Hello. 425 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,641 Dad, where have you been? I have been trying to call you for hours! 426 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,444 Uh, I just went up to the roof to think. 427 00:19:10,512 --> 00:19:12,446 Gets a little breezy 86 floors up, 428 00:19:12,514 --> 00:19:15,416 especially when the helicopters are landing. 429 00:19:17,519 --> 00:19:19,353 Dad, look, about what happened today, 430 00:19:19,421 --> 00:19:20,620 I want-- darling, 431 00:19:20,688 --> 00:19:22,022 can I tell you a little story? 432 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,657 Sure. 433 00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:26,093 Look, when I was 8 years old, 434 00:19:26,161 --> 00:19:28,328 I was chosen from dozens of boys 435 00:19:28,396 --> 00:19:30,830 to sing a solo from ave Maria 436 00:19:30,898 --> 00:19:33,600 at my church choir recital. 437 00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:36,903 It was the greatest honor of my young life. 438 00:19:36,971 --> 00:19:38,838 The night of the recital, 439 00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:41,908 my father was sitting right in the 2nd row. 440 00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:44,344 He heckled me. 441 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,214 Heckled you? 442 00:19:47,282 --> 00:19:49,516 Oh, yeah. He called it tough love. 443 00:19:49,584 --> 00:19:52,519 Said it would make me a better choir singer. 444 00:19:52,587 --> 00:19:54,388 But I was mortified. 445 00:19:54,456 --> 00:19:57,324 Yeah. Dad, that's--that's terrible. 446 00:19:57,392 --> 00:20:01,528 Today you had the same look on your face as I did 447 00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:04,664 at my recital. 448 00:20:06,468 --> 00:20:09,736 I'm sorry I embarrass you, Carrie. 449 00:20:09,804 --> 00:20:12,639 Dad, no. No, no, no, no. 450 00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:14,975 You didn't do anything wrong. 451 00:20:15,042 --> 00:20:17,944 I completely overreacted. 452 00:20:18,012 --> 00:20:21,982 I guess sometimes I feel like I have to walk around apologizing for you, 453 00:20:22,049 --> 00:20:25,652 but that's--that's my problem. That's all me. 454 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,590 Well, perhaps my prior antics have left you a bit gun-shy. 455 00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:31,825 Well, true. 456 00:20:31,892 --> 00:20:36,230 I could've done without your bomb jokes at LA guardia last month. 457 00:20:36,297 --> 00:20:40,967 But, even so, I'm sorry about the way I acted. 458 00:20:41,035 --> 00:20:45,172 I--I was touched that you wanted to, 459 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,441 you know, be part of my life. 460 00:20:50,178 --> 00:20:52,212 I love you, sweetheart. 461 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,248 I love you, too, dad. 462 00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:55,649 [Tapping table] You know what? 463 00:20:55,716 --> 00:20:57,751 Why don't we forget about all this and start fresh? 464 00:20:57,818 --> 00:21:02,122 Tomorrow I will talk to pruzan and get your job back. 465 00:21:02,190 --> 00:21:03,923 No, no. I wouldn't hear of it. 466 00:21:03,991 --> 00:21:06,493 To be honest, I find this place mind-numbing. 467 00:21:06,561 --> 00:21:09,329 How you work here and not put a bullet in your head 468 00:21:09,397 --> 00:21:11,798 is beyond me. 469 00:21:11,866 --> 00:21:14,635 Well, can I at least buy you a hot dog on the corner? 470 00:21:14,702 --> 00:21:16,870 I'll go for that. Ok. 471 00:21:16,937 --> 00:21:18,772 [Elevator bell dings] 472 00:21:26,347 --> 00:21:31,718 ♪ Ave Maria 473 00:21:31,786 --> 00:21:35,689 [Arthur continues singing] 474 00:21:35,756 --> 00:21:37,157 (Carrie) Dad! 475 00:21:38,926 --> 00:21:43,763 (Boy) ♪ ave Maria 476 00:21:46,668 --> 00:21:48,669 you call that singing? 477 00:21:48,736 --> 00:21:50,770 [Boy continues singing] 478 00:21:52,507 --> 00:21:54,841 You sound like a little girl! 479 00:21:54,909 --> 00:21:57,277 [Boy continues singing] 480 00:21:57,345 --> 00:21:59,045 Nice haircut! 481 00:21:59,113 --> 00:22:01,181 Use a bigger bowl next time! 482 00:22:02,917 --> 00:22:04,418 That's my boy. 36144

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