All language subtitles for Palm.Royale.S01E05.Maxine.Shakes.The.Tree.720p.ATVP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

I'm so excited! I've never been in
an honest-to-goodness plane before.

You are one brave gal. I never met
another lady with the stomach for it.

I love roller coasters.

And I got the prettiest
copilot in all of Tennessee.

All right, hold tight!

Up we go.

The world looks so
small from up here.

You scared?

- Never. I'm never scared with you.
- Here we go.

Hey, you know what? I'm
gonna quit my job at Pan Am,

and I'm gonna
become a skywriter.

And I'm gonna write
in 30-foot letters,

"I love Maxine Horton" for
all of Chattanooga to see.

You really love me?

No one's ever believed in
me the way that you do, Max.

I feel like I can do
anything when I'm with you.

You're gonna make me cry.

Nah, that's just the wind.

No, it's you, Douglas. It's you.

Okay, Sugar Pie, I'm gonna go
full Red Baron on this baby, okay?

- Yeah.
- Here we go.

You okay up there?

Yeah. I'm great.

I just don't know if I
should be upside down.

Yeah? Are you scared now?

Yeah, 'cause I'm pregnant.

That might just be the best thing
that maybe I have ever heard.

Hey, Chattanooga.

Douglas Simmons
is having a baby.

So Perry says, "If you
focus on the horizon,

then you will end up in
the sand trap every time."

And I say, "Look, Perry,
if I just look down,

then I'm just taking
a shot in the dark.

I may as well be Helen
Keller out here."

I've read that invitation
a thousand times,

hoping it'll say something
else. But it's always the same.

A wedding, Penelope Rollins
and Douglas Dellacorte Simmons.

Isn't life funny, Max?

How could it be? In what
world is this possible?

My new friend Linda
and my Douglas?

So I decide not to focus on
the horizon or the ground.

I press my chin in, and I put my
gaze just past my navel and...

Booyah!

Over the bunker, hole in one!

What else don't I know?

And more importantly, who
else knows what I don't know?

It is a game of the mind.

All right, well, I'm gonna go get a
little one-on-one time with Perry.

See you at dinner.

Game of the mind.

Up until now, I thought the
secret to a great marriage was

keeping quiet and smiling through
adversity until adversity smiles back.

But this is no drunken fall down
the stairs after an argument.

This is bad, you know, Norma?

But if I tell him I know, I
might lose him. Don't you think?

What would you do?

You are exactly right. I'm gonna go walk
up to him and tell him face-to-neck.

Yes, let's go. Are you hungry?

- Yes.
- No? Okay, we can wait till dinner.

Come on, Norma!

Hey, babe. Brought Norma, huh?

Max, honey, I didn't
know you were coming out.

But Perry will be
here any second.

You were married?

- What?
- You were married to Linda.

Who is Linda? I
don't know any Linda.

Linda. My friend Linda... Penelope,
her name used to be Penelope.

Douglas.

Well...

This is who you've been palling
around with this whole time?

Penelope Rollins? Oh, Christ!

Are you still married to her?

- No!
- Are you a polygamist?

- Am I a sister wife?
- Maxine.

Well, I don't know.
Are you even a pilot?

Or are you a brush salesman with
families in seven different cities?

But just give me a
second here, all right?

This is the first time I'm hearing
any of this right now as we talk.

That's how conversations
work, Douglas.

It's not that I
lied about Penelope.

I just...

I didn't bring her up.

Oh, please!

The reason why I didn't say anything
is because I wanted to forget it.

Yes, we were engaged
many years ago.

But the day we were supposed to be
married was the worst day of my life.

Max, look,

there's something
I have to tell you.

Something else?

On our wedding day,

Penelope shot her father.

What?

It was awful. It
came out of nowhere.

People running around everywhere.
There was blood everywhere.

- And I just... I personally hated it.
- What?

And I just... I wanted to
move on and never look back,

and then I met you,
my sexy little rose,

my beautiful little puffball. And
we just were so happy together.

Why? Why would Linda
do such a thing?

Exactly. It's
because she is crazy.

Well, I don't think she's crazy.

Think about it. She sought you
out. She made you her friend.

She didn't tell you about it.
That is crazy. C-R-A-S-E-Y. Crazy.

- Did you just spell crazy...
- Mrs. Doug-lidy-doo.

How do you do, milady?

Looks like I should have gotten
three of these good boys.

No need, Perry. I'm
taking my leave.

And you and I will
discuss this later.

Hi, Norma. Good to see
you rolling around.

What a firecracker.

Now I don't know what's
up or down or what's what.

We need to go straight
to the source.

Hold on to your bones!

Yeah.

Just a little...
Clearing, you know?

That's not the Rolodex?

You not in here doing
what I think you're doing?

It shouldn't be in the world.

Look, we can finally do something.
We finally can make a difference.

We finally have some power, and you
don't know if you're comfortable?

- Linda!
- Oh, shit.

No, you sit and stay.

Have you seen
Linda? Is she here?

Linda!

Wait here.

Hello. I would like to
speak to Linda, please.

Or should I say
Penelope? Immediately.

Well, I'm fine. Thank you for
asking. And she ain't here.

Well, you tell her I know
everything about her and my husband.

Well, I'm sorry, Maxine.
That's a tough one.

You knew? You knew about
Linda and my Douglas?

Look, I don't want to
get in the middle of it.

"I don't want to get in the middle of it."
What is that? From a book or something?

No. It's a common colloquialism.
Look, you need to go.

Do you even know who
you're defending?

What kind of friend she is,

- that she lied to me and led me on?
- Oh, shit.

And I don't usually open up to
people the way I did with her.

And I suppose when she came up to
me, that wasn't spontaneous at all.

She had a plan the whole time.
An evil, mastermind plan.

And I fell for it like
a kooky, woebegone spud.

I'm not Linda.

But what I do know is a lot of
things can be true at the same time.

Look, maybe she wanted to get a look
at you first, see what you were like.

Then maybe she really
did start to like you.

Well, what's not to like?

You can tell her I know
the other thing too

her other secret... that
she shot her own father.

I don't wanna get into that.

All of that is in the
past, and I don't touch it.

Can you at least give
her a message for me?

You tell her that I'm angry. And that
I'm hurt. But emphasize the angry part.

How could she do this to me?
I thought we were friends.

And that Maxine Dellacorte is very close
to forming an uncharitable opinion of her.

You got all that?

Sure, Maxine.

Thank you.

Poop!

Let's get out of this stinky
bookstore. Come on, Norma.

How is she?

Well, as you can
see, she's wonderful.

She's trying to say something.

She's always moaning and
yodeling about something.

Are you okay?

Well, she seems to have
a lot to say about you.

How do you know it's about me?

Everything's gonna be fine.

I'm here.

I've missed you.

I've missed you too.

Look at you two
staring at each other

like a couple of lovebirds.

What is exactly going on
between you two anyway?

And tell me, wasn't it under
your care when she embolized?

I do believe the doctor said
her embolism started down south.

- So what?
- So you tell me what.

Maxine, what are
you trying to say?

All I'm saying is, I know that you
like to play the trumpet for her.

And I'm just wondering,
when you were playing it,

where you were
pointing that thing

when you hit the high notes.

Oh, my God.

Are you trying to say
that I was into her?

- Come on, Norma.
- No!

A very good goodbye.

You have imagination.
I give you that.

She wants to leave.

Well, what do you think?

It's a hot dog.

Well, I know how you like it
when I make your favorite things.

And I thought, you know, in light
of our earlier conversation,

I just wanted to treat my girl.

Monkey sauce?

Thank you.

I feel like a real princess.

Anyway, as I was saying
about Perry... God, this guy.

He's really got a
mind for business.

And what was it people used to
say in high school about him?

Oh, yeah! Yeah. "Perry is an idiot."
"Dumb as a post." "Mean too."

If they could just hear him talking
about business, the way he maneuvers...

And I'm just here
on the sideline.

I'm just like, "Whoa, boy!" Which
reminds me, he's got a point.

We need to make the most of this
conservatorship deal for Norma, of course.

We need to get those funds
into something and grow them.

You know, Perry's not
wrong about real estate.

I mean, look what he's done.

The Northshore, Ridge Crest, Crest
Estates, The Estates at Corsica Ridge...

Did you love her?

What?

No.

It was a long time ago.
I can't even remember.

I mean, I guess
there was something

blonde that I liked
about her, but...

Did you love her? Or
do you not remember?

- What?
- First you said you didn't love her,

and then you said you
don't remember if you did.

It was just more like a
merging of the families.

Plus, I didn't know myself back
then. I was just going with the flow.

And she could be very
convincing. She talked a lot.

But the main reason
I didn't love her

is because she wasn't you.

But I still don't understand why
she would try to shoot her father.

Come on, Max. I shouldn't
have even told you.

Look, let's just pretend
I never did, okay?

Let's just pretend I
never even said a thing.

I don't want to pretend
anymore, Douglas!

- I am asking you to.
- Well, you're asking a lot.

It was 20 years ago,
which is a long time ago.

And 20 years plus
our love equals...

Look, I'm just... I'm
straining my brain here, Max.

You kept it from me.

The best thing I ever did was
not marry into that family.

And you wanna know why?

Because it led me to you.

So, can you just
stop picking at it

and pretend I
never mentioned it?

Please, babe.

I'm going to answer the phone.

Dellacorte residence,
Maxine Dellacorte speaking.

- Hey, it's Robert.
- Jeezy creezy.

How's Norma tonight?

You know, you are like a bad penny,
always turning up at the wrong time.

Well, I think that would make you happy
considering how much you love money.

Well, I like the
more-than-pennies kind.

Has Norma gotten her insulin
shot? That's all I want to know.

Christ. Why are you always
hounding me about Norma?

- Maybe it's me you're obsessed with.
- I'm the only person you're rude to. Why?

- Me?
- Yes.

- Rude?
- Yes.

Fuck you.

All the 1949 Shiny Sheets,
bound and archived.

- Thank you, Ann.
- It's so funny that you asked

for these because I was just going
through this stu... Please be careful.

- I'm sorry.
- I was just going through this stuff.

You know, researching
Norma's obituary.

What is it you're
looking for again?

I'm just doing a family
history project of sorts.

Looking for pictures of relatives,
chronicling the family line,

this, that, and the other.

You know, I just wanted
to follow up on something.

You said you were Miss Junior Ocoee in '43
and then Miss Chattanooga in '49, right?

And don't forget, Miss
Mineral Bluffs in '46.

All right. Let me know if you
find anything interesting.

I will. Thank you.

"Wedding of the season
ends with a bang."

"Dellacorte mansion was
done up to the nines."

"Fletcher Quartet played a ribald
version of 'My Donkey Got Out.'"

Jeezy creezy, get to the point.

"A gunshot rang out."

"And no one could say for
sure just where it came from."

"Especially not Douglas
Dellacorte, who fled the scene,"

leaving behind his best
man, Perry Donahue.

Eugene "Skeet" Rollins was severely
injured, possibly paralyzed.

No one was charged
and the weapon,

sought out by the Palm Beach
Police, was never recovered.

What transpired that day
at that storied wedding

is the mystery of the season.

Though theories and assumptions flew
around with the vulgarity of a food fight,

the only people that will
ever really know what happened

"are the people who
were in that room."

I had to seek out
Skeet, the victim.

Maxine, whatever are you doing
here? Dear Norma's with you now.

Evelyn.

You were there that day too.

What day, dear heart?
Do try to make sense.

And you knew about it this whole
time, and you didn't say anything.

Just like everybody else.

The wedding.

I don't understand. Linda was
actually trying to kill you?

Yes, darling! I know it's hard to fathom,
someone with my generosity of spirit.

Why?

Well, it's no secret Linda
and I don't get along,

and most of that rests
squarely with her. Always has.

You see, her mother died
when she was a little girl,

and she became incredibly
close to Skeet.

So close that even
as a youngster,

she would terrorize any
woman involved with Skeet.

Terrorize?

Yes! Snakes in the closet.

Thumbtacks on the chair.
Ipecac in the salad dressing.

Now needless to say

her impending marriage to
Dougie did something to her.

I don't think she could
bear leaving her father.

And the thought of me having him all
to myself, well, it drove her mad.

Yes, ma'am.

The stress was awful
for poor Skeet.

That day was worse than ever.

- Oh, yeah. Go in there deep. That's it.
- His back was so tense.

- I had him pressed against the door...
- Oh, yeah.

- working his knotted back like a champ.
- You know just the spot. You got the spot.

- You're on...
- And then...

And then what happened?

Let's just say, thanks
to Linda's poor aim

granted, she was shooting through a door,
so maybe it wasn't so bad after all, but...

Dougie got to escape their union,
I got Skeet to finally marry me,

and Norma does what Norma does.

What does Norma do?

Norma was always a
great keeper of secrets,

and eventually she started
using those secrets

to help keep all of
Palm Beach in balance.

You don't say.

Norma files our little
indiscretions, fixes things,

and in return, we show Norma our

appreciation.

Appreciation?

Blackmail. Dear Aunt Norma
collected the secrets of everyone

who came through her tearoom, and she
put them right here in this Rolodex.

She used it to get them to donate to
her Beach Ball. And now we have it.

We have dirt on all of these
powerful people, important people.

Spiro Agnew is in here,
for Christ's sake.

You're full of shit.

No, she's not.

Go ahead. Pick one.
Tell me what it says.

"Stephen Sebring.
Pregnant mistress."

"Gary Picknell."

Hey, wasn't he mayor?

"Addicted to cocaine,
quaaludes and marijuana."

Jesus, pick a lane, brother.

But how do we know that any of
this stuff is actually true?

It's true. Every word.

How do you know?

I used to be in there.

So, why didn't Skeet
want to marry you?

Because, well...

Although everything about me screams
grace, pedigree and gentle upbringing,

I, like you, didn't
come from money.

The fact that we both have hideous
pasts is something I recognized

- about you right away.
- I see.

Suppose that's why I'm being
any help to you at all.

So, this would explain the gun.

You found a gun? Gun?

Yeah. In the safety deposit
box. It must be the gun!

Darling, this is what I mean

about Norma keeping
Palm Beach in balance.

Now that gun, if it's truly in the safety
deposit box, it needs to stay there.

Of course. Who would be kooky enough
to walk around with a gun in her purse?

Maxine, that gun is insurance

against a lot of things going out
of balance around here, understand?

Yep. Understood. I have a golf
game that I have to get to.

I think I'm late. Yes, I am.
Crackers, shoot! Thanks, Evelyn.

My question is, what
are we gonna do with it?

We have all their addresses?

We should send them anthrax.

Yes.

Or seeds.

- Poems.
- Okay. Those are good ideas.

But we have to be
strategic here.

We can't go too big.

If we go too big and misfire,
it'll all come back down on us.

In my opinion, I think
we need a test case.

Perry Donahue.

- Linda.
- Perry Donahue.

He's an ambassador, he's
a real estate mogul,

he lives right
here in Palm Beach.

And you remember that
Emerald Isle in Boca Raton?

You know, it was that big, flashy new
condo everybody was excited about?

And then it suddenly collapsed.

Go ahead, find his card.

"Paid off inspectors."

What a fucking asshole!

You're too close to this.

So what? He's my scummy
ex-fiancé's scummy best man.

He's a creepy, two-bit developer

who's Nixon's pick to be the
ambassador to Luxembourg.

He's a local quasi-celebrity

who's got ties to the
government... we all know that,

but he's not at the
very tippy, tippy top.

He's your perfect test case.

Well, I guess my friend at the
Miami Herald might like to hear

about the business practices of Nixon's
brand-new ambassador to Luxembourg.

- What on earth are you talking about?
- Yes.

Douglas was engaged to
Evelyn's stepdaughter?

- Linda, yes!
- When?

Twenty years ago. You
swear you didn't know?

Hadn't the foggiest.
Bu... Honestly, Maxine,

why should I know or care about
anything that happened 20 years ago?

I've only been married to
Perry for three seasons.

I just feel like everyone knows, and
they were just talking behind my back.

I can't trust anyone. I've been
made a fool ten times over!

Look at me. I, for
one, was in the dark,

I never heard anything
about it from anyone.

- All right.
- And if it's any consolation,

it sounds to me like you know
the person you can't trust.

Who? Douglas?

Can I get you anything?

- Stop listening to us!
- Would you stop listening to us?

I wasn't listening to you,
please. Oh, my God, relax.

- Relax.
- But I did notice,

if you're here and Mr. Dellacorte
is here, who's taking care of Norma?

Norma is fine. She's
taking a nice bath,

fast asleep right next to
a plugged-in hair dryer.

Jeezy creezy.

She's home, being cared for by
a very competent manicurist.

Not that it's any
of your business.

They do nails.

What was that look he gave you?

- Look at his butt though.
- He looks good driving away.

He's better going than coming!

Anyway, Perry's never said
anything to me about a wedding.

We don't talk about the past.

I, for one, am not
interested in anything BD.

What's BD?

"Before Dinah."

And I suggest you take
a page out of my book.

So, I shouldn't be
interested in anything BM?

That's exactly right.

- A yearly 25% rate of return.
- Yeah.

Think about that. Huh?

Practically free money.

With Norma's estate
at your disposal,

it'd be criminal, in my opinion,

not to take advantage of it.

So... what you thinking?

I gotta admit, it does
sound pretty good.

Well, it's not every day a fella gets
the opportunity to be first money in.

Nice.

I like it.

- Yeah?
- I'm in.

All right! Well,
we're gonna have fun!

Darn tootin' we are!

- There's one thing though.
- Fine.

In order to cement the deal,
I'm gonna need one more element.

Need to get the imprimatur
of somebody super classy...

Classy!

Well, the development
is in West Palm Beach.

Hence why we need
the fancy person.

I mean, we won't get any buyers
without a marquee tenant.

So, what do you say

to a little trip to
Washington, D.C., huh?

In the old private jet?

I "like-y" the sound of that.

Hello, ladies! Working
on your strokes?

Hey, babe.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy your drink, fellas.

Thank you.

You need to stop picking
at the emotional scab.

You're right. That's what I do.

- Pick.
- I pick.

- Pick.
- I'm a picker.

You're a picker.

Pick, pick, pick, pick, and there's never
anything there. I can tell you that much.

Hey, Robert! How about
you make me a grasshopper?

The cream went bad with the sun.

Can you just make me
something fruity then?

Robert, will you be a peach?

You know I bought a little
pied-à-terre for Eddie?

What? You did?

I did. And it's been poetry.

I love poems. Any old stanza.

Then I suggest you do the same.

All the guys that work here, pfft,
they're the same. Rent to own.

- No.
- Yeah.

To each their own. I just think
relationships should be about love,

and they shouldn't
be a transaction.

They're about power.

You need to get yourself a lover
where you have the upper hand

and stop driving yourself crazy.

Get out of your head
with all these what-ifs,

and whodunits, and
how-now-brown-cows.

Well, it's been a
peach of an afternoon.

You boys have fun.

Don't crash into the capital.

Aye-aye, Captain.

Bye-bye, pussycat.

Bye-bye, Mrs. Dougly-diddy-do.

Wha... No, no.

You're still in the doghouse.

We need a little good
luck for our trip.

Go kiss him on the lips.

- Let's go, Perry. I gotta take a leak.
- Maxine.

Why don't you get a ride back
to the club with the boys?

I'm headed to Eddie's to
ride the Cuban missile,

and I need to pit
stop at my bidet.

But I'm still mad at him.

I don't wanna ride with him.

- Be a pal. Please.
- Dinah!

Have fun. Hope
it's not a crisis.

Wait! Perry! Guys!

Guys, wait!

Douglas! Hey, don't marry
anyone while you're gone!

I guess I'll just find my
way back using the stars.

Hello, Doug.

Surprise.

How have you been, Penelope?

It's Linda now, actually.

Suits you now.

Well, this is a
fine place to meet.

Can't believe you're back here.

Well, it's been a long time.

Twenty years is a long
time. Things change.

Well, it's a free country, and you
can stay however long you want.

But if memory serves, you made a
deal, and it still stands, right?

Wow. Look at that face.

Hope you treat her better
than you treated me.

All right.

No, you lied all the time.
How could you do that?

Penelope... Linda,
this is not the place.

No?

I feel like the toilet's
totally appropriate

to talk about our relationship.

I was a different person then.

And I think we both know
we weren't meant to be.

I hope you could
move on. I have.

Sorry I have to remind
you who you are.

Who I was.

Was, are, right? Semantics.
If you haven't changed.

See? That's exactly the
same bummer observations...

- Please.
- That made you impossible to deal with.

Me, impossible?

What were you?

When you think back... or
have you ever thought back

what do you remember?

I guess, me being
impossible, you were a peach.

It's fine. We've got this.

We've been doing it for
lifetimes, generations, right?

We say sorry for your behavior.

So, Douglas, I'm really sorry that
I made you screw another woman,

and I'm really sorry that somehow
I made you get her pregnant.

And mostly, I'm so sorry
that I'm here right now

reminding you what a
motherfucker you are.

Sorry.

What?

Why do you always have to put
things in terms like that?

Men, women. You think
it's easy being a man?

You think it's easy having
to uphold everything?

What have you upheld?

I've been married for 20 years.

Whatever. I didn't
wanna do this.

I didn't wanna dredge up the
past, and I didn't want to argue.

I just wanted to
ask for one thing,

which is shut your mouth
about our wedding day.

Oh, my God. Another winner.

Penelope Rollins?

- Yep.
- Well you've changed.

You haven't.

Maxine, your manicurist
told me you'd be here.

- Yes, I've been looking for you. Yes.
- Mitzi?

- She's my manicurist. She does my nails.
- Yes.

I love Mitzi.

I just wanna confirm.

You know, I checked the dates
you mentioned and I'm confused

because Miss Junior Ocoee
'43 is one Eleanor Zanzy.

- And Miss Chattanooga '49.
- Chattanooga.

Yes. Well, her name
is Elise Cunningham.

Okay, Ann. You know what?
You ask a lot of questions.

How about for this one, we
just pretend it never happened?

How about that?

He's my knight in shining armor.

Can I see you home?

You just can't stay away
from me, can you, bad penny?

You can call me whatever you want. But
I'm not gonna let you drive like this.

Give me the keys.

If y'all just allow
me one more question.

No, you're gonna have to
find some other time to talk.

Please, not now.
Sorry. Thank you.

Give me the keys.

Forceful.

- Okay, I got my lipstick, my check book...
- That's your wallet.

- A gun...
- What are you doing with a gun?

- Here are my keys.
- Why do you have a gun here?

Why do you have a gun?
Let's get out of here.

- Is everything okay back there?
- Yeah.

Is everything okay up there?

Everything is fantastic up here.

Of course.

Is it really okay?

Yes, Maxine.
Everything is great.

Is that why you're taking me
home? 'Cause everything's great?

I'm taking you home 'cause you're drunk
and there is a manicurist at home,

and I have no idea if she
knows how to work a syringe.

You know just what
to say to a woman.

Sure.

Gosh, Robert,

you are really good at walking.

Finally.

Finally we can acknowledge
what's been positively simmering

between us this entire time.

- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Sure, you don't.

Oh, no, I don't.

That which simmers
must come to a boil.

- Oh, God. Come on, Maxine. I...
- Oh, Robert,

- take me. Take me right now.
- Wait, Maxine. Wait. Maxine.

Take me right here. Take me
right here on this ethnic rug.

What? Maxine...

- Robert?
- Maxine.

Go get your trumpet. I want you to
play "Edelweiss" in me real slow.

- I wanna feel every single note.
- Please, Maxine.

Or maybe you can play
a quick ditty, like.

"Flight of the Bumblebee."

No.

Nice of you to show up.
I've been here for 14 hours,

and I'm pretty sure I
did some things wrong.

I'm gonna go check on Norma.

Great.

Well, if this isn't the perfect
ending to a raccoon penis of a day.

Maxine.

What?

I can't work here.

Oh, please. Please don't
be horribly mad at me.

I know I lost track of
time. I'm not a time expert!

Oh, no. No, it's not that.

Perry just got me
a job at the club.

The tips are better and...

Perry?

As in Perry Donahue?

He's a nice man.

Mitzi, Perry Donahue
is not a nice man.

I have to go. Good
night, Maxine.

Mitzi? You be careful with him.

Oh, no.

Comfy here?

You're the best.

Stay warm.

Something real.

If you don't mind, I'm
gonna stay here tonight.

I just wanna make
sure she's okay.

It's your favorite
cream. Here you go.

You're beautiful.

Hey.

I don't wanna talk to you.

Please.

I'm here to tell you
what really happened.

I just wanna tell you
the truth, Maxine.

That day was the
worst day of my life.

So, you did shoot your father?

I did.

And he's never been the
same. He never will be.

All his health problems, all
his pain is because of me.

But you were actually
trying to shoot Evelyn?

No.

That's what she told me.

No. Oh, my God. I wasn't
trying to shoot Evelyn.

I was trying to shoot Douglas.

What?

Just for months, Maxine, I
felt like he was lying to me,

and with somebody else.

Every day I kept thinking
about it over and over again,

until finally I said something.

"Honey, you're so crazy.

You're crazy. You're crazy.
You're crazy. You're crazy."

Until you become crazy.

I started feeling like I was
seeing his lovers everywhere and,

and I was convinced he was
with one of my bridesmaids.

And I got so obsessed.

I couldn't even recognize the
sound of my own pop's voice.

You wanna be scared?

Want me to scare you,
you fucking pussy?

Fucker, fuck, fuck.
You fucking fuck.

Oh, my God. Skeet! Skeet!

What have you done?
What have you done?

And then what happened?

Norma just swept in and
took care of everything.

Norma, if he doesn't make
it, what will become of me?

Even now, all you think
about is yourself.

You just attempted patricide.
You are in no position to judge.

Don't worry, dear. You
hold all the cards now.

I do?

So, here's how it's going to go.

Skeet is going to stop
playing with Evelyn's emotions

and marry her at long last.

And Penelope, you're
going to let that happen.

Because, Penelope, if you
don't, you will go to prison.

As for me, I'm going to hang on to
this family heirloom as insurance.

Why are you doing this?

You may not know it now, but all
of this is for your own good.

It doesn't feel like it.

Have you lost all
rights to your feelings?

What about me?

What about you?

Well, in exchange for a one-way ticket
to Chattanooga and $100,000 check,

I will keep my mouth shut.

So you can marry
that gutter slut?

Gutter slut.

Chattanooga? That's
where I'm f...

I'm the gutter slut?

Yes, Maxine. Maxine,
you're the gutter slut.

Oh, Linda. I didn't know. I
swear, I swear. I didn't know.

It's okay. He loved you
and he still loves you.

And you know what? You were
my perfect present, Maxine.

Yes. I was gonna be in
a loveless marriage,

playing pretty for some guy
who didn't wanna be there.

You saved me, Maxine.

That's Douglas.

Go talk to him, Maxine.

Enough.

We did it, Max.

We're gonna ink the deal
that's gonna change our lives.

We got a really big
fish on the line, honey.

Oh, gee. Douglas, I'm so proud.

It's gonna be all
champagne from here on out.

Hey.

I love you so much.

I know.

I'll see you when you get home.

Linda?

Norma, this is over.

You've had it the whole time.

And no one's ever
gonna have it again.

Norma, are you upset?

Uh-huh.

Linda's version of crazy
made a lot of sense.

And who knows what I myself
might have done in her situation?

And after all, hadn't I had an
itty-bitty dose of crazy that very day?

I wanted the pain to stop.

I wanted everyone to be free.