Original subtitles

-Give me an order, Lieutenant. -Kiss me, Nurse Wulfawitz.

NARRATOR: Previously on Hill Street Blues...

-The officer goes into the cell... -And then he chokes him.

I swear, Captain, I never touched the guy.

-I'm pregnant, Frank. -Paul Grogin.

Do you each promise to love and comfort one another

in sickness, as well as in health?

-We will. -We do.

(sobs) Frank, how could you do this to me?

What's the matter, Sal, huh?

You can't hit someone when they're standing in front of you?

♪ Dum, dum, dum, dum ♪

Hey, spotlight on Rico!

NARRATOR: And now, tonight on Hill Street Blues...

You're gonna make it. You're in your 53rd hour.

(groans)

Frank, I'm processing Detective Benedetto's temporary transfer

to your precinct.

I thought you and I might try living together.

-I don't think so, Howard. -Excuse me?

T.J. had a knife, and he threw it in a room when he ran.

The murder in the shelter, Franklin.

I don't know anything about the murder. I'm a very old man.

Come on, hold the thing up. I can't see the damn-- Ow!

-(all chattering) -PHIL: All right. Item six.

MAN: Oh, baby! Oh, baby! Oh, baby!

(groaning, mumbling indistinctly)

OFFICER 1: What's that?

Hey, didn't that guy used to sing backup for, uh, Frankie Valli?

Would someone kindly inform Leo about the condition of his charge?

-Thanks, papi. -PHIL: All right. Item six, people.

Now, we'll jump ahead of police business

to address the contents of your pay envelopes.

I wish you would.

With regards to which I have two statements to read

from City Treasurer Fusko.

Uh... "The irresponsible behavior of certain city councilmen

has forced the city to issue promissory vouchers

in lieu of salary checks for the workweek ended last Friday."

All we do is make ourselves miserable chewing on this.

Every-everything I hear suggests the impasse at city council

should be resolved in the next 24 hours.

In the meantime, there's a list on the upstairs board

of supermarkets which are extending credit to city employees.

-(all chattering) -Charity. Charity.

Another piece of Lawrence Buddy Jeannette

has surfaced behind Antonio's Pizza Disco on the ferry last p.m.

This makes an even dozen segments of Mr. Jeannette

to make gift-wrapped postmortem appearance.

Now, since pieces three, five, and 11 surfaced here on the Hill,

said discovery may have local implication.

Press speculation about the involvement

of one Roland Simone of Midtown notwithstanding.

...we pay for the vouchers.

But it was parked on the street, was not in the red,

there was-- there was no sign posted anywhere.

Is this something we can all appreciate, Robert?

-They towed his car away, Sergeant. -(laughter)

Item eight. There's a visit today from James Willett Frame.

He's the American sales representative of Coldwell and Louison Armors, Ltd.

Showing their weapons line at roll call shortly after we adjourn.

Sign-up sheet's posted.

Clear your availability with yours truly or Lieutenant Calletano.

Now, the lieutenant announces the debut today of "Operation Cop Tip."

Now, this is a citizen-participation program underwritten by radio station WDPD

paying $25 a throw for information leading to arrests.

I understand, uh, our pay situation could, uh, prompt a gloomy outlook,

but, as a last item, let's note on the other side of the ledger

this wonderful spring day.

Fifty-five degrees at 6:50 a.m. With a promise of 72.

A cloudless sky, sap rising even in old trunks like this one.

Now, it's a good day to be alive even with an empty pay envelope.

'Course, this improved weather can comment in rises in youthful transgressions,

public intoxications, and stoop-side drama.

Patrols are advised.

All right. That's it. Let's roll!

And hey, hey, hey, hey!

-Let's be careful out there. -(indistinct chattering)

OFFICER 2: I got a couple things to do. I'll be right with you.

-Come on, Joe. -Yeah, right.

-Look, Renko. -Now, where's my reading material?

Renko, if I don't pick up my car by ten o'clock,

they're gonna charge me for an extra day.

Bobby Hill, do you realize that 50 percent of irregularity

can be directly traced to the distraction and interruption of the daily routine?

Bill, the boy downstairs is having some real problems.

He's in the homestretch. He's in his third day.

-Thank you. -He's gonna make it.

You know, you live in a dream world, pal.

First time that kid breaks a shoelace, he's right back on the stuff.

How's your glass house, J.D.?

-What's that supposed to mean? -Figure it out.

(groaning)

Rico, here. Come on.

(panting) Th-there was turtles.

They was coming out of my chest.

-Those aren't real. -These were real!

(groans, gulps)

-Whoa. Whoa. -Okay.

-Oh. B-big ones. -Okay.

-Not like the carnival. Like the ocean. -It's all right. It's okay.

No. I-I don't think so, man. I don't think so.

You're gonna make it. You're in your 53rd hour.

(grunts, groans)

It hurts too much. It's in my bones!

-(shushes) -(groans, pants)

-Fifty-third hour. -Fifty-third hour.

-Homestretch. -Ho... homestretch.

Bet on me. Bet on... me.

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch, we have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(theme music playing)

(telephones ringing)

What, you don't want me behind you?

A partner of mine got cold-cocked that way.

Yeah. My sap slipped. I'm gonna be up here a little while.

-Why? -BENEDETTO: Uh, got some work to do.

Uh, look, I, uh, I kicked a few butts in my time, and I had my butt kicked, huh?

We're gonna be in the same pen.

I want you to know I'm okay with what happened.

Which I don't know why you wouldn't be since you cleaned my clock.

RENKO: So, where does that leave us, Mr. Benedetto?

-Oh, scooter demon. You tell me. -I'm thinking about it.

You want a free shot? Hmm?

Maybe sometime at night when your back's turned.

Andrew, Bobby, homicide at the Butler Men's Shelter.

See what you did, Renko?

Hey, country, look, I got some work to do here.

I don't want to be worrying about my back.

Don't worry about your back, pal. Worry about your personality.

-Morning. -Uh, Detective.

Frank, I'm processing Detective Benedetto's temporary transfer

to your precinct.

He's come up with a plan to implicate Roland Simone in a major drug situation.

Simone's a loan shark out in midtown.

Simone's an embarrassment to this entire city.

He's bankrolling a lot of other action. Dope, death...

They just found piece 12 of Buddy Jeannette.

DANIELS: And I'm determined to stop him.

The detective's proposal couldn't have been more timely.

Now, it routes through the hill. He'll fill you in on all the details.

He's to get full cooperation, Frank.

Gee, uh, my phone must have been out of order.

If I'd wanted you at this meeting, Jerry, you'd have been notified.

Is this about Rollie Simone? Huh?

The plan that I called you about? With my detective?

And I was grateful for the input. It's my best judgment, however, Jerry,

implementation should come through this office.

Your detective's been reassigned.

JERRY: You're not gonna give me joint venture?

I wouldn't think you'd be bringing up joint venture.

Not with Stan Meisel's egg still on all our faces.

Look, if you're gonna kill my career, do it all at once!

Don't piece me out! Don't Buddy Jeannette me!

Do you really think this is an appropriate place

for a career counseling session, Captain?

Ride downtown with me.

How are your people on this voucher situation?

-All right... so far. -Good.

No nonsense while you're up on the hill, Benedetto. Understand?

No pool, no over and under, no garbage about Jeannette's body.

-BENEDETTO: Got you, Captain. -Frank.

Guess him and the chief aren't getting along.

Just run it down.

We, uh, busted 20 keys of soda in midtown a couple months ago.

Simone had to be the banker, but there's no way to make him.

Now, I want him to think he's holding paper on a cop,

make an approach to get the stuff back.

It's in the midtown property room. Why?

Hey, Simone's no dope, Captain.

Midtown cop approaches him, he's gonna smell a rat.

There's a shylock up there. This, uh, Mouse Feldstein. Mo.

I'm gonna pop him, have him sell his loans to Simone,

then we run in the cop's note with the rest of the paper.

The cop should preferably be, uh, colored. That's most of Mo's clients.

This, uh, this kid Hill's got guts.

Hill's a motor patrolman. He doesn't know anything about detective work.

-You'll work with Neal Washington. -Whatever's right.

I know what you did to Officer Renko, Detective,

and I know what Officer Hill did to you.

Yeah, everything's okay. I squared with both of them.

FRANK: That's not the point.

If you were on my roster, you'd have been out the next day.

We don't have any wild west show up here and we don't have any freelancers.

You operate out of this precinct, you're gonna clear procedure

and you're gonna go by the book. Understood?

-Gotcha. -FRANK: That's the "B" answer.

The "A" answer is "Yes, Captain."

Neal. No, just Neal, J.D.

It would have taken two minutes to pick up my car.

Take it easy. We're on a homicide call, here, pal.

So, where's he going? Nobody's gonna charge him for an extra day.

My God, he's dead! (sobs)

Hey, pal.

Oh, God.

This guy's in some kind of trance over here of something.

T.J. killed him and he ran off.

Okay, buddy, we're gonna have to frisk you here now.

T.J. had a knife, and he threw it in a room when he ran.

-BOBBY: Uh-huh. -RENKO: Who-who is T.J., huh?

He has a bunk in the back. I don't go near him 'cause he's crazy.

And he said the old man took his towel and then he stabbed him!

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

-All right, now. Take it easy, now, man. -Where's Wash?

Doing a rhumba with Sal Benedetto. How the hell would I know?

What does this guy look like, all right?

He has a blue windbreaker. And he has blue eyes.

And he has a cruel mouth.

Hey. Hey, buddy. Come here. Come here.

-Do you know this guy? -I've seen him.

What about this guy T.J. he's yelling about?

(scoffs) Look, I don't know. You know, they're bums.

They come and they go. I don't-- maybe.

Okay. All right. Hey, you, what's your name?

Buddy, come on. Come on. What's your name, huh?

-Reggie. -J.D.: All right.

Now, let me see some I.D., okay, Reggie?

He doesn't have anything, J.D. A piece of gum.

He doesn't even have a wallet.

Okay, now, Reggie, look, look. What you're gonna do here, okay,

you're gonna go to the station with me and my friends, okay?

-You got him? -Yeah.

Renko, let's go look for that knife, huh?

All right, Reggie. I gotta put these handcuffs on you, buddy.

It's okay. I don't want to be here.

Because he might come back.

And now for the pièce de résistance.

Gentlemen, I would like you to meet Coldwell and Louiston's TK460R.

MAN: Wow.

-WOMAN: Now, that's cute. -MAN: Looks like my cousin Vinny.

Judas H.

I hope you like the little bugger.

He's on a promotional loan to your department for the next two weeks.

Well, what exactly does he do?

Oh, TK460 can be programmed for any number of tasks.

Primarily his function is surveillance. Particularly handy in hostage situations.

Completely bulletproof.

It can be sent into an area where an officer's life

-would be grossly endangered. -PHIL: I see, James.

Now, what does he do once he's there?

First of all, the chest cavity contains a dual two-way stereo speaker system

enabling you to initiate a dialog with a suspect,

uh, thereby eliminating your having

to rely upon telephonic means of communication.

Said dialog failing, there's a 45-mm turret in the arm extender.

And for particularly nasty chaps, a flamethrower here.

Now, let us suppose you have a hostage situation

in your basement holding facility.

You would send TK into the area using this control, like so.

Off you go.

Now, you see the device also contains a hidden video camera

which transmits an image to this screen

giving you an instant summation of the situation,

i.e., number of hostages, position of suspects,

and areas subject to vulnerability.

(on TV) Oh, no! Don't send the turtle king, Pepe!

No, don't send the turtle king, Pepe!

I gave it to Bo! I gave the stuff to Bo! Come on!

I've been banking with you people for nine years.

Uh, you can't cover my check for two days?

Yeah, well, I think your policy stinks.

Okay, fella, again. What does "T.J." stand for?

How is it you know him?

Hey, hey. I asked you "How is it you know him?"

Look, you want me to just kinda skip ahead to the $100 question?

Any problem here?

Yeah, we got a possible suspect in a murder here, Captain.

Some guy named T.J. stabbed this other character

and dumped the knife on the premises. We haven't found either one of them yet.

Uh, Captain, his record's clean as far as the name he gave us,

but I'm running his prints. Now, you ask me, he's our man.

-Get the weapon. -I'd like a lawyer.

Miss Davenport's up here. Maybe she's available. Hill.

Escort the man to interrogation

and sit with him until she gets here, okay?

Sorry, babe, but I'm hooked up with Benedetto for the next couple of days.

What? What? Hey, hey. What are you talking about?

Some loan shark bust down in midtown.

He just needed some local cover, that's all.

Man, Benedetto's a slime. Come on, man.

I wouldn't trust that clown as far as I could throw him.

Hey, hey, look, I gotta run, babe. Talk with you later.

Hey, wait. Where the hell does that leave me for the rest of the week?

We've got the number and calls on the cop tip line, J.D.

I'd like you and Belker to check them out.

-Ha. Me and Belker? -Yes.

I want to know right now, Frank.

-What's he gonna call her? -FRANK: Call who?

Now, he can call her Joyce. He can call her Ms. Davenport.

He can call her Auntie Joyce.

He can call her Wonder Woman for all I care.

But I will not let my son call her mom! Now, is that understood? I will not!

Uh, could we just start from square one? Could you tell me what happened?

Frank Jr. wants to move in with his new mother,

as he chooses to call her.

I caught him sneaking out of the apartment this morning

with two suitcases and all his video game cassettes.

I see. Did you have some kind of argument?

No. It just came out of nowhere!

Maybe he feels that if you're entitled to another child,

-he's entitled to another mother. -You think that's it?

I mean, really, you think maybe he's just jealous?

Well, that could be part of it.

Fay, you're gonna have to let him find a place

for Joyce inside himself, you know.

I mean, without changing his love for you in any way.

-FAY: I know, Frank. -I mean, she's his stepmother now.

I know, (groans) but I just don't want him to call her mommy!

He shouldn't and he won't.

Good.

Uh, also... I think maybe the three of us should get together

and, uh, lay down some guidelines.

Great. Two against one.

Okay. All right. Maybe just the two of you.

Look, you're gonna have to get together and come to terms sooner or later.

Okay. She can call me. I'm in the book.

Under "Furillo."

Or I'll call her.

Uh, Frank-- Oh, Fay. Oh...

Nothing like one in the oven to bring a flush to the old cheek.

-Oh, fecund mother earth. -Stick it, Howard.

(chuckles) Pregnant women, their, uh, their hormones run amuck.

FRANK: What can I do for you, Howard?

I'd like an extra half-hour for lunch, old sport.

No problem.

-I'm having lunch with Linda Wulfawitz. -Oh?

It may be a significant repast, Frank. Relation-wise.

-Howard, you're gonna propose? -Well, I don't exclude that possibility.

I thought I would broach cohabitation to begin-- uh, Counselor.

-Lieutenant. Frank, do you have a moment? -Marriage agrees with you.

Thank you. It's important.

I want you to meet Franklin Butterball. He's a teacher.

He's 82 years old.

-Joyce... -Tell him about T.J. and the murder.

T.J. was a wicked, wicked boy.

He was a bully.

-And there were times-- -In the past 20 minutes,

I've talked to a Black prostitute named Angel,

a computer programmer named Bruce,

and now a retired school teacher from West Texas.

They all saw the murder,

they all know this T.J. in one way or another,

and they're all scared to death of him. At first, I thought it was a put-on.

How did it happen, Franklin? The murder?

I don't know anything about the murder. I'm a very old man.

-Please leave me alone. -What happened to the knife?

I don't know. He... he...

Jimmy knows.

He might tell you. He's much stronger than I am.

We'd like to talk to Jimmy, Franklin.

-Can you help us do that? -REGGIE: No.

Jimmy?

-Jimmy? -Could be.

What happened to the knife, Jimmy?

(chuckles) Hey, what with the knife? Everybody wants to know about the knife.

-You saw T.J. put the knife somewhere? -Yeah, maybe.

-Are you as afraid of T.J. as the others? -Hey, hey.

Now, my life's not rough enough as it is without you guys all over my back, huh?

Jimmy, could we talk to T.J.?

(chuckles, hisses)

(telephone rings)

(sighs) Well... Frank?

Is that an act or what?

I've read about multiple personality disorders before,

but that's the first time I've ever seen one.

I'm phoning county medical.

We'll give them custody until the arraignment.

Even if it's an act, it's way out of our league.

Excuse me, gentlemen, but aren't you jumping the gun, here?

There's no conclusive evidence tying him to a murder.

We have to find that knife.

-You got my car. -License and make.

-'81 Camaro 142OHG. -It's 90 bucks.

No checks. It's $25 for the ticket, $65 for the tow.

My bank's all the way across town.

You're telling me you're a cop and you don't know we don't take checks?

You ever listen to that radio, mister?

We didn't get paid today. We got vouchers. Let me just give you a check.

By the time it gets to my bank, the money will be there.

Hey, Marty, it's getting deep in here. You better bring me my boots.

I'm tapped, you understand?

I'll make the check good. Just give me a little more time.

Yeah, like when we need some help from you.

And what do we get? We're private. We're on contract.

You know, you guys are really scum. You're the scum of the earth!

You may be getting off on your little bureaucratic power trip here,

but as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but a...

(muffled) hyped-up parking junkie with a crowbar between your ears!

Hey, I'm real upset. I'm gonna have to see my therapist.

I gotta get out of here, Renko.

(Benedetto chuckles) Hey. Hey, no offense, Washington.

I just hate to see a smart guy like yourself stuck with a derelict.

-LaRue's got a few rough edges. So what? -(chuckles)

A few, huh? I know guys in midtown place take his career bio

into the head for light reading material.

(chuckles) Suspensions, 502s, uh, bottle problems.

You take away the rough edges, all you got is a fake Rolex

and a cheap pair of loafers. (chuckles)

-MO: Yeah? -(coughs) Come on.

-MO: Yeah. Yeah. -(clears throat)

-What do you want? -You, Feldstein. Open the door.

Detectives Washington and Benedetto, Mr. Feldstein. We got a warrant.

-Just open the door, you little geek. -Show me the warrant. Come on, show me.

You really want to see the warrant, Mr. Feldstein?

Yeah. Yeah, I want to see the warrant.

(coughs) All right. Here's your warrant, Mo.

Come on, hold the thing up. I can't see the damn--

-(groans) Ooh, my nose! -(chuckles)

-You're crazy. You're killing me. -All right. Let's see here, uh.

Oh, it says something about usury.

I think that means loan-sharking there, Mo.

(chuckles) And, uh, something else about--

-(groans) -Oh, man, I can't quite make this out.

You know, it's something about utilizing the public utilities

-in the commission of a felony. -Hey, what the hell's wrong with you, man?

I'm just getting the guy's attention is all.

-Please, come on. Let go. -(chuckles)

Hey, look, I'm sorry I'm taking so long, here, Mo,

but the light, it's not so good out here. You know what I mean?

There. There, see, I got the door open, okay? Please let go.

Hey, Sal's little helpers, huh? (laughs)

You creep! You're an animal! What do you want from me?

Nice place you got here, Mo.

We're gonna have to take you down to the station, Mr. Feldstein.

Well, what have we got here? Let's see.

A big mess, that's what we got. (chuckles)

Hey, you don't mind if we take your paper along, do you, Mo?

Can I help you gentlemen, or are you just browsing?

Is this your arm-buster, Mo? Or did the circus just hit town?

I got it covered, Crockett. Catch you later.

Crockett? You're Sonny Crockett?

No. I'm Martin Luther King.

Hey, whoever you are... I think you entered the wrong premises.

The toilet's down the hall.

Go on, take a walk.

Yeah... good idea.

-(groans) -(glass shatters)

(clattering)

Freeze!

-(gun shots) -(thuds)

Man's dead.

(panting) Yeah, I knew something was wrong with him.

Thanks, my man. You just saved my butt.

No problem. Hey, Mo, you got any rope, huh?

I want to tie the guy to the fender of my car.

I'm gonna mount the fat slob on my wall.

(chuckles) Hey, that's a joke, Mo, a joke, huh?

Relax a minute. (chuckles)

I'm gonna drop a dime downtown

and then we're gonna get my partner here over to emergency, huh?

-Isn't this delightful? -(chuckles)

Linda, let me speak directly to the point.

-Please. -How did Chaucer put it?

"Whan that Aprill with his shoures soote

the droughte of March hath perced to the roote..."

Howard, you were going to get straight to the point.

(chuckles) Well, I'm not a young man, Linda,

but my fancy's turned to love.

More specifically, I was thinking that you and I

might attempt a more intimate domestic arrangement.

I thought you and I might try living together.

-I don't think so, Howard. -Excuse me?

No. I-- in fact, I think we should reconsider everything.

I... I think we should stop seeing each other.

Or we could leave things exactly as they are.

Howard, you have so many-- some wonderful, wonderful qualities,

but we just aren't compatible.

-You're angry at me. -I'm not angry at you.

No, I'm angry at myself because I let things go on so long.

I'm always like that, Howard. I-I store up my grievances.

Or perhaps we could work together to improve ourselves.

No. I-I... (sighs) I can't make a life with a man who's so... myopic.

Howard, you have your interests and that's it.

I mean, no one cares about the longevity of the M16 as a weapon of war,

certainly not my parents.

I mean, they don't want to see your magnum .357.

That was months ago.

Howard, do you realize at the hospital Christmas party

we began with 14 people at our table and ended up with you, me,

and the history of Fidel Castro's mountain campaign?

Well, I can't help having a grudging admiration for that brigand.

Uh, that's not the point. I-I see that.

(scoffs) It doesn't matter.

Is there someone else?

Well, I'm seeing someone,

but I can't tell how serious that's going to become.

-A doctor? -A urologist.

-Jewish? -It so happens.

But, Howard, that isn't why.

Oh, Howard, I'm so sorry that this is ending like this.

You're such a good, sweet man.

(chuckles) Myopic, huh?

(clears throat) I better get my lenses checked.

(Mo sniffs)

You guys wanna tell me what this is all about?

BENEDETTO: Simple, Mo. You're gonna retire.

You can make your own arrangements in Florida,

or we could put you on a group plan upstate.

Hey, this is a nickel beef. You're telling me I'm gonna go to jail?

NEAL: You can count on it, Mo-ski.

Three years, 36 months, and you ain't no chicken no more, baby.

Hey, fellas, I'm just a "B" team player in this racket.

Come on, what are you picking on me for, huh?

We want you to call Rollie Simone, Mo.

Want you to sell him your paper.

No way.

I'm not setting up Rollie Simone for no police action. (chuckles)

What, do you think I'm crazy?

Life could get real tense on the home front, Mo.

You got kids in college. A wife who plays mahjong.

-Look, I'm not gonna do it, fellas-- -We think you're smart, Mouse.

We think you know when you're all done and the best way to get out of the game.

Simone's a smart cookie.

He knows that this guy you shot, this Crockett, maybe worked for me.

He hears Crockett's dead, he's gonna know I'm jammed up.

He won't come near me with a fork.

Simone ain't gonna know Crockett's dead unless you tell him, Mo.

We're putting Crockett on the stiff train.

No one's gonna know he's dead for 48 hours, Mo.

Now you sell Simone your paper, you get out of dodge,

you're in great shape.

I just know you're the kind of guy saved a few bucks, Mouse, huh?

Hey, I'll be lucky if he gives me 40 cents on the dollar.

NEAL: Hey, we're gonna take care of you, Mo.

Add a loan for $28,000. Make the paper out to me, okay?

And when Rollie asks about it, you be sure and tell him

Washington's a narcotics cop with money problems

and a bad habit. Whatever you sell that paper for is yours.

You know I've been good to you people.

I mean, I loan cops at half vig all the time.

(stutters) Look it here. Cops on the hill, huh?

Bobby Hill, Julio Sánchez, eh?

-Bobby Hill? -Yeah, I loaned him four yards.

He was having some family problems.

(door closes)

Let's make a phone call, Mo.

LUCY: Watch this. Watch it. Look.

-Come on, Rhoda. -(robot whirring)

JOE: Yeah. Come on, Luce, you're hogging it.

And I already named him "Denny."

LUCY: Forget about it. I'm just getting the hang of this thing.

Watch this.

(clicks, whirring)

(screams) Oh, stupid rob-- Ay!

What are you doing over here with that thing?

-I-- -You have burned both my legs!

-I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't-- -HOWARD: Bates!

Yes, sir?

Bates, have you read the manual on this device?

-No, I haven't, but I-- -You think this is some kind of a toy

for you to play with? Judas H.

You know that the predecessors of the TK4600 have soft-landed on Mars?

Low-rent anthropomorphizing sentimentality.

-(robot whirring) -RAY: Get that thing away from me!

I'm gonna remember that chump's face!

I'm gonna remember him 'cause if I ever pull him over,

if I ever get him in my car, I'm gonna put him through cop hell!

-What's up? -Oh, this--

I have never seen this individual as angry as I have just seen him.

This is what happens when you let someone--

I didn't let anybody tow my car away.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Bobby, what, you got tow problems?

-Yeah. -Why didn't you say something? (chuckles)

(coughs) Now, that's, uh, Kimiski's on 137th, right?

-Uh, yeah. -(dialing)

(sniffles)

Hey, Stick. Sal. Yeah.

(chuckles) Listen, uh, I got a friend whose car's tied up at your place.

Yeah, it's a...

-Camaro-- -Shut up!

-A Camaro '81. Blue. 142OHG. -BENEDETTO: Yeah, you got that?

Uh-huh. Yeah. I want you to cancel the papers on that

and get it over to Hill Street station. Yeah.

Look, slobface, you don't give me that.

I want to see the car parked out in front in 20 minutes.

And I want you to drive it over here personally.

Yeah, you got it. Yeah.

-It's on the way. -Thanks.

All right. Let's move.

Mm-hmm.

Crockett's in the morgue under a John Doe. We have a promise they'll keep him

for as long as we need to finish with Simone.

Officer involved's going along so far.

Yeah. Oh, come on, Jerry.

I heard that song this morning. Yes, we'll keep you informed.

Captain.

Bobby, I don't know why you borrowed $400 from Mo Feldstein,

but I'm obligated to tell you three things:

First, you're a party to a criminal act.

Second, the fact that he's a loan shark only makes the problem worse.

And third, it's against the rules of this precinct

and my own ideas on how an officer ought to conduct himself.

Captain, I had some problems in my family.

The-the bank wouldn't give me a buck, and I-I had no other choice.

I'm not kidding myself, Bobby. I know cops go to shylocks.

But they leave themselves and the force open to coercion and blackmail.

It was the first time, and I wasn't going to do it again.

Well, the second time's always a lot easier and usually for a bigger amount.

-I get the picture. -Good.

Because if it happens again, I'm gonna have to let you go. That's all.

OFFICER 1: Reggie. Reggie, these men are gonna take you to county medical.

I think you'll be more comfortable down there.

-(growling) -(grunts)

(both groan)

(yells) Get away!

-(groans) -(growls)

-RENKO: All right! -Get away! Get away! Get away from me!

-Get away from me! Get away! Get away! -(glass shatters)

Hold it!

Get away! Get away! Get away!

-RENKO: Easy. -(growling)

T.J.! T.J.! T.J.!

Get away. Get away.

Put the stick down, T.J., there's nowhere to go.

(screams, panting)

Oh, God. I'm so thirsty.

Someone get him a glass of water. Okay.

Oh, God! I'm so... thirsty.

Here you go.

(panting)

Uh... T.J.'s dead.

Uh, he drank poison.

My name's Pete. I can't see. I... I've been blind since birth.

I know where the knife is.

There's a loose board in the corridor. It lifts up. The knife's underneath it.

I heard T.J. put it under the board, you see.

He didn't realize that I could hear him hiding the weapon.

My name's Pete. And I can't see.

Come on, Pete.

Neal and that fat greaseball Benedetto score a major coup.

We get a walking tour of--

Nobody said this was gonna be The French Connection, LaRue.

So let's just follow up the rest of the tips and get it over with.

Tips? You call these tips? We got one self-confessed jaywalker,

a guilt-ridden hairdresser who stole a shopping cart five years ago.

Oh, yeah. Don't forget the speed freak with the hot lead

-on the whereabouts of Patty Hearst. -(engine starts)

-Belker, what the hell are you eating? -Bermuda onion and liverwurst.

Yeah, well, it smells more like Bermuda onion and dead rat.

(scoffs) No wonder you work alone.

Nobody in his right mind could stand to be around you.

Stop the car.

What, over two hookers in a catfight? Come on, you gotta be kidding.

One of them's got a straight razor, pus face. Stop the car.

(shouting)

(clamoring)

-(overlapping dialog) -Break it up!

-...You have no right to park your trash! -(screaming)

-Break it up! -Let her go! Let her go!

Come on!

-Get off! -Drop the knife, sugar!

-Drop it! Drop the knife! -WOMAN 1: Hey!

(grunts, groans)

Drop it! Drop it!

-(yelling in Spanish) -Shut your face and move!

(grunts)

Oh. Belker! Look at this!

200 bucks! I wore it twice. You're gonna pay for it, you little twerp!

(growls)

Yeah. Yeah, I'm straight.

I'm down.

How's it feel?

Feels like a-- like a train ran over my head.

LEO: Here, eat something. Maybe you'll feel a little better.

Hey, uh, you know something, Leo?

(chuckles) Last time I was down was 1977.

It's 1983.

Yeah, right.

Right. (shivering)

Hey, this-- this ain't no day at the beach, man.

LEO: No, it's not.

And staying straight's no picnic, either, Rico.

1983, man.

I... I did it, didn't I?

I'm clean, man. I want to thank you, bro.

I want to thank you, Leo.

Thank you, Leo.

"Introduction. Paragraph 1.1. Summary of functions and operations.

The TK4600 is a motorized prehensile tractor device

capable of performing hazardous operations independent of physical contact.

Independent of physical contact."

Oh... I don't understand it.

I just can't open up around people.

Inside I am bursting with affability, affection, and good humor.

But when it comes time to show it, it just... dies.

Oh, I don't know what to do.

(whimpers)

Looks like you and I are cut

from the same block of non-ferrous material, old pal.

(on TV) Doomed never to feel the warm, sensitive touch of another human being.

All I want is someone to be with.

Is that asking too much?

-What do you know, Rollie? -ROLLIE: I'm good, Mouse. How do you feel?

I'm a sick man. I got, like, this, uh...

This fist in the top of my stomach, you know?

Don't fool with it. Go get it looked at.

(on radio) He looked at it. He gave me orders.

-ROLLIE: Your doc? -MO: What did I call you for?

I'm telling you, the doc ordered me. I gotta get out.

Calm down. Calm down. You said nothing.

Mo's a little tight.

Uh, I got $118,000 in paper.

Make me a price.

All my dough's on the street, Mo. The best I can do is 15 cents on the buck.

Then you're gonna give me 17 and change for $118,000?

What are you, a sick man?

I love it. (chuckles)

ROLLIE: I'm all on the street, Mo. That's the best I can do.

-MO: I gotta get 60 cents. Come on. -Twenty cents. Best I can do.

Give me 40 cents and stop being a sick individual.

I can't make it, Mo.

You know the last thing my old man told me?

Don't try to squeeze the last dollar out of a situation.

You make too many people mad. 20 cents.

I'd rather stay sick than stay in the trouble I'm in.

-ROLLIE: Twenty-five -Twenty-eight.

26 cents and that's good night, Mouse.

Come on, Mouse.

(sighs) When do I get the cash?

When I get the paper.

I'll meet you in an hour.

I hope you get a heart attack, you guinea creep.

(chuckles)

-What's your name? -Bill.

-Nice name, Bill. You come here before? -PHIL: No. Never.

Well, Bill, you like oriental girls?

Yes. Very much.

Very feminine oriental girls.

Indeed of the three great races.

-The Asiatic is-- ah! -No like feet?

Like feet.

Most tension in feet. Get out now.

You Vietnamese?

Yeah. How you know?

I served in the army for three years there.

-I'm from Thanh Binh, near Da Nang. -Really?

I was stationed in Da Nang.

You know "An Am Pearl" restaurant? My mother used to work in there.

-Your mother worked in An Am Pearl? -COLETTE: Yeah.

-Was your mother Sue? -Not Sue. Mary.

Still, that's amazing.

What a world.

-What's your name? -Colette.

-You want to do front side now? -Colette.

Well, Colette...

Some days I miss Vietnam very much.

I know. Me too.

That was a country too beautiful to have a war in.

Do you remember those big, white birds that used to fly over the rice fields

-just before sunset? -Yes.

-PHIL: Do you know what kind they were? -No.

All I remember is they used to swoop and glide. The whole group.

And at that moment, they were like the only sounds

and movements in the world.

I remember asking myself "How could a country at war be so silent?"

"How could it still have birds?"

-What's the matter? -(whines) So stupid.

I'm homesick.

Oh, I'd like to go back and conquer that whole country for you, Colette.

Beat those commie geeks back to Hanoi.

(thunder rumbles)

(car door closes)

What do you want from me now, Sal?

You ripped my nose off, deprived me of my livelihood,

now you're calling me at two o'clock at night. What's left?

-You wanna break my heart. -I want to apologize, Mo.

Good. 'Cause you owe me.

I took a-a blood bath today.

I didn't even clear enough to pay for the plane ticket to Miami.

Mo, don't worry about a thing.

(closing theme playing)