All language subtitles for Hill.Street.Blues.S03E14.Moon.Over.Uranus.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_prob3_track3_[und]

-(men groaning)
-(glass shattering)

NARRATOR:
Coming tonight on Hill Street Blues...

The rat that bit you was rabid.

A cop's daughter was raped.

Maybe I could get hurt
if I said something.

Frank, she's my kid!
Give me two minutes with him.

You're the first of 50 women
destined to perpetuate the species.

(sighs) I think he wants to kill me.

He hasn't broken any laws,
nothing we can arrest him for.

Some girls really don't know
how to handle rejection.

Girl's a little warped upstairs.

You do good work, Miss McCoy.

Feeling is mutual, Captain.

-(laughing)
-(chattering)

PHIL: Item 12.

Kudos and felicitations due this a.m.
to three of Hill Street's very finest,

winners in what we old-timers used to call
the Irish Sweepstakes,

i.e., the semiannual promotions list.

You will henceforth marshal
newfound respect

for Sgt. Michael North,
promoted from patrolman.

(cheering, applauding)

Night Sgt. Wallace Peterson,

and Lieutenant, formerly Sergeant,
Henry Goldblume.

(cheering and applauding continues)

Item 13.

Operation Big Broom enters
a second planning stage this morning

when Chief Daniels makes a walking tour
of Dekker from 130th to 135th.

If you'll recall, Mayor D'Angelo

visited this choice patch of Hilldom
two days ago

and declared it
"the worst damn block in the city."

-(murmuring)
-(chuckling)

The Chief's job will be to determine
which of the five blocks His Honor meant,

whereupon each of us, starting tomorrow
under Lt. Howard Hunter,

will commence massive defoliation.

Yes, people, it is an election year.

(murmuring)

Backups this a.m.: Bates, Coffey, Regan,
Phillips, Ballentine, Brewster.

Item 14 is a cautionary tale
concerning last evening's full moon.

Or rather a pale and reportedly
pock-marked imitation thereof

which appeared on a front yard
in Pittsfield

shortly after the 1:00 a.m. conclusion

of Officer Mel Sandowski's
bachelor soirée.

Shocked to see the famed celestial
provocateur in such exotic close-up,

a Mrs. Friedkin from across the street
called the County Sheriff's office,

which proceeded to arrest Hill Street's
own planetary adventurer,

Andrew J. Renko,
on charges of public exposure.

(jeering, laughing)

You want to see it again?
You want to see it again?

All right. Could everybody shut up
and leave me alone?

Come on, Andrew, sit down. We've seen it.

(laughing)

After several phone calls,

Captain Furillo reluctantly admitted
ownership of the officer gone amok...

(laughing)

...and he was released OR.

The charge was subsequently dropped.

Not as precipitously as the pants,
but nonetheless dropped.

End of cautionary tale.

Item last, on a more somber note.

Midtown Lt. Jack Donleavy's
daughter Kathleen was raped and knifed

shortly after 2:00 a.m.
in the parking lot of Mercy Hospital,

where she's a nurse.

A rather sketchy description,

a large Caucasian male
with light brown hair is about it.

But forensics match
the Valdez rape-homicide

and the Pellegrini rape-assault
of last week.

Now Donleavy's put 28 years
into this department,

and as far as I know
he's universally beloved.

His wife died three years ago,
and this is his only kid.

So let's put a star next to this one, huh?

All right, that's it. Let's roll,
and let's be careful out there.

-(chairs scrapping)
-(chattering)

It was not an obscene gesture.

It was a friendly gesture

directed at my friend Mel Sandowski
on his departure.

-And the authorities--
-Renko?

-Yes, sir.
-My office.

(phone ringing)

I hear you like motorcycles.

Yes, sir, I got a big hog at home.

Good. And fresh air?

(sighs) Motor patrol, Captain?

You're gonna put me out
there on a Harley with the big boys?

Close. Two wheels.
But I was thinking more of a Vespa.

That's a scooter, Captain.
Scooters are for women.

No, it's not for women, Renko.

It's for issuing parking tickets.

You write up a book of these a day,
20 a month, and then we'll talk.

Captain, sir, don't you think you might
be overreacting just a little bit?

Overreacting?

I'm in perfectly good humor.

I'm always in good humor

when the Sheriff's Department
phones me at 1:30 in the morning.

I'm always in good humor
when one of my men demeans the badge.

-That's all, Renko.
-Yes, sir.

Sir, what about Bobby Hill?

He'll be temporarily assigned
with Tattaglia.

Good day, Officer.

WOMAN (on radio):
Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store,
corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(sirens wailing)

(theme music playing)

-Can I see you a minute, Frank?
-Yeah. Come on in, Jack.

-How you doing?
-Good as can be expected, I guess.

The latest on Kathleen sounds better.

We're all grateful
she seems to be out of danger.

What've you got on this one, Frank?

Come on. You know the book, Jack.
You're family of the victim. I can't--

Please, Frank. You gotta let me in here.

I know what happens after 12 hours,
after a day or two goes by.

-I'm not gonna let that happen this time.
-Eight men on the case full-time.

It's absolutely top priority. I'm sorry.

-I hope you'll understand.
-She's my only, Frank.

I see her in there with all those tubes.

-We'll get him, Jack.
-All smashed up.

Now, you got a kid of your own, Frank.
What would you do?

(door opens)

Frank-- Oh, excuse me.

Chief Daniels is waiting for you
and Howard in his car.

I have to go.

Please, give us room to work.

Ray, you want to copy the 4-17s
and all the pink sheets

and then get phone numbers
where he can be reached?

You'll be at the hospital?

I just want to catch that animal,
you know?

That's what I feel inside.

I want to catch him, and I wanna--

Oh, Kathleen.

I told you, we'll give it our all
and we'll get him.

(door opens, closes)

On this single block alone,

you figure a drug transaction
every seven minutes,

felonious violence 40 times a week,

have eight or ten major
brand names of heroin

openly available for the asking.

(chuckles)

One of the popular ones
is named the Chief, Chief.

You know, Forbes, you hear stats
like that, the weight feels good.

Sir?

I'm packing the old S&W .38 today, Howard.

Sir! It's nice to have you come around.

(laughing)

Ah, here is 1737 Dekker.

Now, this is locally known
as the Black Hole of the Hill.

It's the worst shooting gallery
in the city, Chief,

open for your inspection.

I had a few of the EATers
do a little carpet sweeping an hour ago.

I'd kind of like to have a little
look-see. How about you, Forbes?

-Coming.
-(vehicle horn honking)

(sirens wailing)

Well, what do you think, old sport?
(exhales)

Is the Chief about to approve the most
massive inner-city housecleaning

since we put it to those geeks
in Haiphong Harbor or am I Herbert Hoover?

-Nice imagery, Howard.
-Oh, come on, Frank.

Give an old EATer a break.
This could be my shot at a captaincy.

(gunfire)

HOWARD: All Units! All Units! Report!
Have you been fired on?

-What the hell's going on?
-Who's all right!

LUCY: The Chief got bit by a rat.

He must've stuck his hand
in a nest or something.

He got off six rounds
with his own revolver.

Just a nick! Nothing to worry about.

I think I winged the little bugger
in the left haunch there.

There were drops of blood.
You definitely scored a hit, sir.

-Yeah.
-Just a nick, Chief.

But "just a nick" raises a specter
of rat fever, plague...

I want this building sealed off.

I want Animal Control notified.

I want ten of our own men to assist.

I want that rat found and delivered
to the Department of Health for testing.

Chief, there are probably
a thousand rodents--

Oh, damn it, Howard!

I told you that I put a .38
into his hindquarters.

If that's not a cross
painted on his back--

We'll get right on it, Chief.

(motor engine revving)

(sighs) Come on, you gotta be kidding me.

Benedetto, Division Vice.

Uh...

I'm sorry there, Detective Benedetto,

but I woulda trashed this
if you woulda showed up two minutes ago.

But as it is, I've been writing it,

so I'm afraid I have
to be responsible for it.

What, are you making me laugh?

I get 50 of these taken care of a year.

Well, then take care of it.

I guess I could get you
for littering now, couldn't I?

You know what you are?

You're a fat punk on a scooter.

(tapping brake light)

Looks like you have an equipment
problem there, brother.

(crashes)

So do you.

-Well, my friend--
-Come on, right here.

I'm gonna kick your butt
right in your uniform.

I'll tell you what.
I got a job to finish today.

If you want a piece of me,
I'll be at Mulligan's after 6:00 tonight.

BOBBY: I know Pete's death
was pretty rough on you.

You ever thought
about quitting or leaving?

ROBIN: I worked too hard to get here.

I never kidded myself
about what this job could be.

Then it happened, and it was rotten luck.

(tires screeching)

-(horn honking)
-ROBIN: Hey, look at that.

-BOBBY: That's pretty obvious.
-(siren wailing)

Okay.

I'll write this one up.

(siren wailing continues)

(car door opens, closes)

-License and registration.
-It's my uncle's car.

I don't know why he...

-Bobby, he's got a gun!
-Hold it right there!

It ain't my car. It ain't my gun.

-Just get out the car, slowly now.
-I swear.

-It ain't my gun. I swear.
-Come on.

Go ask my uncle, John Rovere.
He's got a permit.

What're you doing?

"Kathleen Donleavy."

All right, pal, you got
some explaining to do here.

You could just stick a fork in me now,
Jack, 'cause I'm done.

Hi.

Hi.

Nancy McCoy, Office of Corrections.

I was told that you're holding
Leonard Smithers.

Captain Furillo. Uh, yes.

He hasn't exactly been a model
of cooperation. I could use your help.

-I heard you got somebody.
-FRANK: No. No suspects yet, Jack.

Somebody who had my daughter's card!
Let me see him, let me talk to him.

It's being handled.
You'll get everything as it comes in.

Damn it, Frank, she's my kid!
Give me two minutes with him.

No, Jack. I've got it.

You have my complete sympathy
for everything that's happened,

but you can't do anything here
but hinder us and hurt yourself.

Get him, Frank.

(clears throat)

How much do you know
about the Donleavy situation?

I know about Smithers
and Kathleen Donleavy's credit card.

He won't tell us where he got it.

Maybe we should go talk to him.

(phone ringing)

WOMAN: Sgt. Goldblume?

Lt. Goldblume. What can I do for you?

Well, the man at the desk
said I should talk to you.

I want you to arrest this guy I know.

Why, what's he done?

He killed my cat. It's against the law
to kill somebody's cat, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Did you actually see him do it?

But I know it's him.
He used to be my boyfriend.

Okay. What's your name and address, miss?

(sighs) Mary Hicks.

-I live at 41--
-Whoa, whoa. Yeah?

41 Dekker. I'm a waitress.

And your boyfriend?

He used to be my boyfriend.

I only knew him for a couple of weeks
and he started acting crazy.

I couldn't talk to anybody
without him calling me a tramp.

So I told him I didn't want to see him
anymore, but he won't leave me alone.

-His name?
-Richard Brady.

He's a mechanic
at Solly's Automotive Service.

Mary, I don't think there's anything
we can do about your cat,

not if there weren't any witnesses.

Could've been struck by a car.

He left it hanging in front of my door.
He wanted to make sure that I saw it.

He follows me home from night school.

He calls me up in the middle of the night.
He says that I'm his girl, no matter what.

I think he wants to kill me.

Has he ever assaulted you
or forced his way into your home

or made any kind of threat?

Well, he grabbed me once by the arm.

But he's never physically hurt you
or said he's gonna kill you?

No.

Okay.

Mary, I'm gonna be assigning you
what we call a case number.

Now, if Mr. Brady ever makes
any kind of overt threat,

I want you to call the police dispatcher,
the number's right there,

-and you'll get immediate assistance.
-That's it?

I wish there was more that we could do,
but from what you've told me,

he hasn't broken any laws,
nothing we can arrest him for.

But what about me? What do I do?

Change your phone number,
the lock on your door.

-You can move.
-But I haven't done anything wrong!

Why can't you just tell him
to leave me alone?

-Mary, unless he actually--
-He killed my cat!

-I'm sorry...
-(thuds)

...there's nothing I can do.

You want to tell me
about the young lady's credit card?

I found it, uh... in an alley.

You know something, Smitty?

You're about the best parolee I've had
in a very long time.

-Yeah?
-NANCY: Mm-hmm.

You keep your appointments,
and you do very good in your job.

In fact, I was gonna recommend
to the Board

that we cut you back to one visit a month.

-You're okay, Miss M.
-Yeah.

It'd be a shame
if you had to go back to prison.

But I didn't do nothing!

That was my uncle's gun. It was his car!

Smitty, nobody cares
about the car or the gun.

A cop's daughter was raped.

They know I had nothing to do with that.

You had her card.

And you're withholding information
on where you got it.

Now they can make you a part of that.

I got a lawyer coming.

-You can't do this to me.
-(sighs)

Lawyers don't figure in this.

Smitty, if you want to help yourself,

you've got to help these men
find the man who did it.

Otherwise,
it's back to prison in ten days.

Maybe I could get hurt
if I said something.

Nobody's going to know.

-Isn't that right, Captain?
-That's right.

Okay.

Okay. It was Martin White.

I got the card from Martin White.

Move him into holding.

Ray, pull the file on a Martin White.

Uh, put his photo together
with four or five others.

Take them down to Kathleen Donleavy
at the hospital.

-I want a photo ID.
-All right, Frank.

Do you think you can get Smitty released
as soon as possible?

-He's just a sweetie.
-I'll see to it.

You, uh...

You do good work, Miss McCoy.

Feeling is mutual, Captain.

If you ever have, uh, trouble
with one of my boys again,

just give me a call.

I'm in the book.

Coffey, Bates. Your presence is requested

to assist in a public disturbance call
at 714 North Park.

Possible weapons discharged.

I don't know, the guy's always been so
nice, but I swear it was a gunshot.

He's right here.

(thuds)

Oh, there's two of you. Good.

Mr. Patrakis,
we're from the Police Department.

Yes, I know.

Has it started yet?

-Has what started?
-Chaos.

Chaos in the streets.

See, I've been monitoring all morning
on the shortwave

and all I could get is a food riot
in Botswana.

Mr. Patrakis, we're gonna have to come in
and look at the premises.

(laughs) I knew they'd listen
to me sooner or later.

Okay.

Listen, I can only open
the door for 20 seconds.

Not a... Not a fraction longer.

So you're gonna have
to slip in as fast as you can, okay?

-Yeah, yeah.
-Okay.

(chains rattling, locks turning)

All right. Quick! Quick! Come on.

(chuckles)

All right. Huh?

-Okay, what do you think?
-(radio chatter)

We got our discharge right here, huh?

Oh, yes. You see,
that was the nine millimeter.

It went off, you know,
while I was cleaning it.

Uh, see, look, it didn't
even dent the wall. Look.

(laughs)

Oh, yeah. Did you know...

did you know that I can make seven pair
of shoes out of that old whitewall?

Bet you never thought of that, huh?
(chuckles)

And look, see, ultra-violet rays.

The body can't manufacture
vitamin D without it.

I can go... I can go months
without seeing the sun. (chuckles)

Oh, and I put in air vents just last week.

They're up on the roof
disguised as badminton poles.

Badminton poles, pretty good.

You mind telling me what the hell
you're talking about?

I mean, what is all this stuff?

What? What do you mean?
You mean, you're not here about my report?

You see, I sent it
to all the precincts in the city.

I sent diagrams, maps, contingency plans.

Well, good Lord, man, society
is strangling on its own internal poisons!

I mean, the whole shuddering mess
is getting ready to fall at our feet!

And the only ones who are gonna survive
are those who have planned for it.

-Okay? Me.
-Joe, he's got dynamite.

Of course I have dynamite!
How do you expect me to defend myself

with just 14 firearms
and 3,000 rounds of ammo?

-You are under arrest.
-What?

Possession of illegal
firearms and explosives.

Listen. I'm trying to help
you people by example. See?

-Okay. Keep your hands up there.
-Okay.

Listen, I've thought of everything. I
I thought of defense, mobility,

uh, communication,
uh, entertainment, sanitation.

All right, look over there. See?

I have a 15-megawatt generator,

I have $10,000 in gold sovereigns,
and look, look, see?

Look.

I have Encyclopedia Britannica,
a complete set with the yearbooks.

I've even... I've even devised a plan
to repopulate society

by propagating myself to the power of ten!

-Okay?
-Oh, yeah? How?

-Uh, Joe, I think I know how.
-Yes.

I'm only lacking one thing.
I need 50 good women.

-Don't we all.
-Yeah.

WOMAN (on speaker):
Mrs. Baker, please come to Admitting.

What do you want?

Officers Hill and Tattaglia, Lt. Donleavy.

We're working the investigation.
We'd like to talk with your daughter.

Why? What've you got?

If we could just have
a moment with her, sir.

You mean without the old man around.

Well, maybe she doesn't want me to leave.

Maybe I'm gonna stay
whether you like it or not.

KATHLEEN: Daddy.

Daddy, it's okay.

All right, baby. If you say it's okay.

I'm gonna be right outside,
if you need me.

Okay. You'll come back when they're done?

You bet. Don't let them wear you down.

Go easy on her.

Kathleen, I have five
pictures to show you.

They're of different men.

If you see the man who hurt you,
I want you to point to him, okay?

(gasps)

Oh, God! (sobs)

Kathleen, if you could
look at all the pictures.

I saw him.

(sobbing) It was the fourth one.

Please, if you could point to him.

Oh, God!

(sobs)

(crying)

-It's all right, baby. Your daddy's here.
-Daddy.

Your daddy's here. Your daddy's here.

It's all right. It's all right.
That's all right.

She got him, didn't she? She got him.

-(sobbing)
-It's okay. It's okay.

In your urban areas
you got two basic types of vermin.

You got your Norway rats,
you got your wharf rat.

Those are the plague-carrying,
baby-biting,

basement-inhabiting type of rats
which we happen to be trapping right here.

Farley's wife makes
the bait in her kitchen.

Wilma. Yeah, she does.

Yeah, she does.
Popcorn, Cheez Whiz and peanut butter.

They just can't get enough of it.

-(traps snap)
-(rats squeaking)

There's two more, Farley.
There's two more!

FARLEY: Didn't I tell you?

Yeah, but look, you figure
this is gonna take long, Farley?

Well, now, that's hard to say.

A day, maybe two,

maybe a week, maybe never.

You know, I had this rat once,
as big as a hedgehog.

He was biting some residents
of a flophouse

over on 110th back in, uh, '62.

Big sucker!

I nicknamed him Bohannon, the boss rat.

Hey, Farley--

Damn, Toby, I'm trying to tell them
about Bohannon.

But we're all out of traps, Farley.

Well, why don't we go to the truck
and get some, Toby?

That's a good idea, Farley.

You guys just hold the fort here
while me and Toby go to the truck.

Come on, Toby.
You know, you're embarrassing, Toby.

You know, I got three years
of college, Neal.

I got two medals of valor,
three citations for bravery,

and after 12 years
of dedicated service to my community,

where do I find myself
at the ripe old age of 36?

I'm in some stinking ghetto boiler room

chaperoning the Captain Ahab
of the rat kingdom

and his retarded first mate.

Man. Man, did you know
that F. Scott Fitzgerald

wrote The Great Gatsby
by the time he was 29?

Oh, man.

I remember this big fat,
ugly rat grinning at me

through the slats of my crib
when I was about two years old.

Ooh, man, I can't handle this, J.D.

Man, do you think
this could really take a whole week?

Oh, man. Ten million rodents
in the big naked city, man.

Hell, trying to find one particular rat
with a .38 slug in his hindquarters.

That may take a month and then some.

-(trap snaps)
-Take it easy, man.

-It's over here.
-Go, go. Go see.

I'm going, I'm going. Come on.

Ugh!

Eww, man, that's disgusting.

Man, that sucker's gotta weigh
at least four pounds if an ounce.

Hey, man, Neal.

What would you say if I told you
that that's the bucker that got Daniels?

Hey, man, I'd say you
was daydreaming, babe.

I mean, that dude is clean
in the hindquarters. See?

-Yeah. Yeah, he is.
-(gunshot)

Look again, man. (chuckles)

-Yeah.
-(both laughs)

(phone ringing)

Frank, I know you're busy,
so I'll make this fast and to the point.

It's about Frank Jr.

Well, he came home early
from school Tuesday

and he kinda caught me au naturel,
if you know what I mean.

Fay, you're his mother.

It's not the first time
he's seen you like that.

It's the first time he's seen me like that
with a naked judge.

-Paul Grogan?
-No, Sandra Day O'Connor.

Of course it was Paul.

We didn't expect him for three hours.

But it seems
that the furnace blew up at school,

and they sent the kids home early.

And, uh, when he heard me screaming,

he must have thought I was being attacked
by a burglar or something and--

-You were screaming?
-And he got that boomerang

that you gave him for Christmas
out of his toy box

and then he came running into the bedroom.

God, Frank, you should've seen the look
on his little face

when he saw it was Paul.

Well, darn it!

Paul was having his rug shampooed
and hotels are so expensive and--

Well, how was I to know
that damn furnace would blow up?

As I recall, Fay, you ranted at me

for a full week last year
for a similar transgression.

That was different.
Don't you start with me, buster!

You have absolutely no idea
how difficult it is

for a divorced mother
to have a normal sexual relationship.

What with tucking them in at night

and getting them off
to school in the morning

and juggling babysitters.

-You want me to have a talk with him?
-I don't think he's in any mood to talk.

I left over eight messages
on his answering service,

and he hasn't returned one of them.

Frank Jr. doesn't have
an answering service, Fay.

I meant Paul! (sighs)

You see, after Frank Jr.
hit him with the boomerang,

he locked himself in the bathroom.

And, uh, Paul and I had a rather
heated discussion on child rearing.

He's cut me out of his life, Frank.

I'll tell you what.

I'll have a talk with Frank Jr.,
you take care of His Honor.

How? I can't even get him on the phone.

(sighs) Well, can your insurance rates
handle another traffic court appearance?

-Just kidding.
-(phone ringing)

Yeah, Furillo. (clears throat) Mm-hmm.

Uh, hold on a minute.

Fay, I really have a lot of work
to do here.

I'm sure you'll think of something.

Hey, Mick.
Got an address on the rape suspect.

Here. Take, uh, Tattaglia,
Coffey, Bates, Hill,

uh, as backups, huh?

Lt. Goldblume.

He was waiting for me when I got home
and he stopped me on the street, and...

that's when he showed me the knife.

(sighs) It was like a hunting knife.

Did he pull out the blade, Mary?

-Did he take the knife out of the sheath?
-No, not really.

I mean, he didn't actually...
He just held it in front of me,

really weird, like, and started talking.

He said that he bought it
especially for me

and how sharp it was,

and how he was gonna give it to me
sometime as a present.

And he just stared at me the whole time,

kinda smiling, and said
that it was gonna be a surprise.

He's gotta be locked up, Lieutenant!
Please!

He wants to kill me! I know it!

Mary, the DA would throw it out
in two minutes.

He'd be out on the street in five,
even angrier than he is now.

-And I know you don't want that.
-(sobbing)

What can you do?

I can have a talk with him.

Do you want me to talk to him?

(horn honking)

(horn honking)

(tires screeching)

(honking continues)

(tires screeching)

-(siren wailing)
-(engine revving)

Just where'd you get
your dang license, lady?

At the bottom of some box
of crunchy granola?

Oh, hello there, Mrs. Furillo.

Come on, come on.
Are you gonna give me a ticket or what?

-No, ma'am. I am not.
-Why not?

Oh, I've had enough problems
with your ex-husband today.

See, I'm sorta on his list this week,
so if it's all the same to you,

I'll just consider that light
that you ran to still be amber.

It was red, Renko!

I made an illegal left-hand turn
between 4:00 and 7:00

and I made an illegal U-turn.

-Now, come on, give me the ticket.
-You want a ticket?

Yes!

Ma'am, may I ask you why it is
that you would want a ticket?

Because I want to go to court to fight it.

You want to go to court and fight it?

Yes.

Well, how about
if I don't give you a ticket?

Then you don't have to go to court
and fight nothing.

Listen, mister. I got a 5:00 manicure.

So you just start writing that ticket.

(jack whirring)

-Richard Brady?
-Yeah?

Lt. Henry Goldblume. Hill Street.

Boy, one unpaid parking ticket,
you guys send out the big guns.

I'm afraid it's a bit more serious
than that, son.

I'd like to talk with you
about Mary Hicks.

What about her? Is she all right?

Well, actually,
she's presently upset, Richard.

She's filed a complaint about you.

About me?

(sighs)

I should've guessed.

You know, Lieutenant, some girls
really don't know how to handle rejection.

(scoffs)

I moved out on her about two weeks ago.

And ever since then,
she's made life a living hell for me.

She's been calling me up at work, at home,
even in the middle of the night.

According to Miss Hicks,
it was she who asked you to move out.

According to Miss Hicks,
you were harassing her.

Let me tell you something, Lieutenant.

Mary's a really nice girl, I mean that.

She's got some really fine qualities.

But telling the truth ain't one of 'em.

She said you stopped her
in front of her house this afternoon

and threatened her with a hunting knife.

Oh, man. (chuckles)

And you believed that garbage?

You want to know the truth?

I stopped by her place
for about two minutes

to pick up this lousy light over here.

And when she started
getting all weird with me, I split.

I'm telling you, man,
the girl's a little warped upstairs.

I moved out on her.

Then there's no reason for you
to be having any further contact with her.

Why don't you tell her that, pal?

She's the one that's got the problem.

Thank you for your time, Richard.

Hey.

Are you putting it to her? Is that it?

Is she getting a little cop action
on the side?

Just stay away from her!

You got grounds for an arrest,
you go for it, pal.

Otherwise butt the hell out, you hear me?

-(glass shattering)
-(men shouting)

(grunting)

This sucker's strong!

Somebody wanna get some cuffs out, please?

-You got him? Yeah!
-Yeah.

(grunting)

First a wacky survivalist and now this.

What are we, the suicide squad?

A piece of cake, Luce.

The charges against you are significant,
Mr. Patrakis,

but your record's clean
and you've pretty much

been a model citizen in a lot of ways.

I can probably get you probation
and a fine.

Listen, they've confiscated my weapons.

I need my weapons.

-Did you have permits for any of them?
-Permits?

All right, what good is paper gonna be

when people start looting
and burning the town halls?

Your preliminary is scheduled for 9:30
tomorrow morning with Judge Marshall.

Listen, my life is in danger
in this building.

Can't you see that? I mean...

Oh, you see?

See, it's vulnerable to attack
from the north side.

You see, they could...
they could come in the ducts.

All right, it's obvious that no one
has planned

for the unthinkable around here.

Mr. Patrakis, you're charged
with 15 felony counts,

any one of which
can put you in jail for a year.

If you cooperate with me,
there's a chance you'll go home

with nothing more than
a slap on the wrist.

But if you insist on behaving
the way you have been,

if you keep talking on in rambling,
paranoiac fantasies--

Do you know what's missing?

Do you know what's missing in modern man?

I'm gonna tell you what's missing
in modern man

is not the will to survive,

but the very idea to survive.

Don't you see--

Okay, all right, all right, all right.

Let's just say you get in your car
and you drive out to the desert.

It breaks down 30 miles
from the nearest water.

It's 105 degrees in the shade.

And you have nothing with you
but what you had in your pockets

when you first got in your car.

All right, question-- how do you survive?

First, I'd stay with the car,
wait for night.

Then I'd siphon off gasoline from the tank
and set the spare on fire.

Nice black, oily smoke,
just in case somebody might see it.

I wouldn't take cover
from the sun in the car, too exposed.

I'd get under it.
Close it off with rags, sand, anything.

I'd save my urine to cool my exposed skin

and do what I could to get some sleep.

At sundown,
I'd tear the fabric off the car seats

for protection against the night cold,

then start cross-country
using the north star as a guide.

I'd keep a nice, even pace,
so I wouldn't get blisters

or maybe sprain an ankle in the dark.

Now you tell me, mister,
what you're going to do

to keep yourself alive in that courtroom
tomorrow morning.

You.

-You're the first.
-The first what?

The first of 50 women

destined to perpetuate the species
and save civilization as we know it.

(laughs)

You see, I have this refrigerator at home.

Get on down there! Move it!

Get on down there
or I'll knock you in the face!

-The Donleavy perpetrator?
-Yes, sir.

You people are batting a thousand today.

-Thank you.
-LaRue!

Howard?

Chief, it was good to see you
back out on the street, sir.

Thank you, Howard. Feeling great.

(phone ringing)

-Ah, Frank.
-Chief.

I want to give your man an attaboy, Frank.
Want to do it in front of you.

The man's stepped on his
private parts so often,

when he does something right we ought to--

-Uh, sir?
-Well...

-Good for you, John LaRue.
-Thank you, sir.

Did you follow the trail of blood?
Was that how you found--

Oh, oh, the rat. Yeah, yep. Yeah, it was.

It was the one, definitely.

The sucker was limping like crazy.

-I knew I winged the bugger!
-RAY: Excuse me.

We just got word
from the Health Department, Chief.

-Ray, that cannot be an accurate report.
-What report?

The laboratory says
that the rat that bit you was rabid.

-Rabid?
-HOWARD: It's highly unlikely.

Hydrophobia is the next thing
to being eliminated.

In addition to which, it's only carried
by creatures of the wild.

Unless this rodent was a commuter.

The laboratory says you are to begin
injections immediately, Chief.

-Time is very important.
-Injections?

(phone ringing)

It used to be 14 of them
right into the solar plexus,

with a needle about that long.

-It was like a pole vault!
-Howard. (clears throat)

Of course, things may
have improved by now.

I hate needles.
Ever since I was a little boy.

Well, that's my point.
They should re-autopsy that rat.

I mean, putting a man
like this through that sort of pain.

Where am I supposed to go?

They have taken the vaccine
to your doctor.

He's waiting for you at his office.

Well, better safe than sorry.

-(chuckles)
-Hell of a note, eh, Frank?

(clears throat) Hell of a note, Chief.

You saved my life, LaRue.

My pleasure, sir.

Check your gun, Lieutenant?

-Hear you got that rape pinch here, huh?
-Yes, sir.

Good.

-Hi, Jack.
-You got him, eh, Frank?

Yeah, we got him.

-Uh, just give the whole thing to Phil.
-All right.

Hi, Jack.

-He give you a fight?
-A little bit.

How's Kathleen feeling?

She's had a shock. She's had a trauma.

Why don't you stay with her, Jack?
There's nothing for you here.

We've both had a trauma.

That's what Father Driscoll
tries to explain.

We've had an assault
on our flesh and our spirit.

It's gonna take us time to get over it.

How long has it been since you've slept?

This is a beautiful girl.

This was a beautiful girl.

I could show you communion pictures,

you'd say,
"Who's that little angel there?"

Seriously.

No, I'm serious, Frank. You'd say,
"Who's that little angel there?"

Why don't you go home, Jack?

Oh, yeah, I gotta go.

I'm not any good to her
without my strength.

That's right.

That's what the Father
wants me to realize.

Huh, what?

Huh?

PATRAKIS: What? (screams)

-(gunfire)
-MAN: Don't move!

Put 'em down.

(clamoring)

-My keys!
-LUCY: God, it's the survivor.

The poor jerk shot the wrong guy.

-Hey, how about that survivalist guy?
-Patrakis?

You know, it's like one time,
we went to visit my uncle's grave,

a couple of stones down,
there was this inscription,

-"Now will you believe I'm sick?"
-(chuckles)

What's the connection?

This guy's been telling everybody
how dangerous life is

and he gets blown away in jail.

Cut it out! You know
what I'm talking about.

-(giggling)
-All you do is--

Thank you.

So, what do you think? You like the place?

It's nice.

Yeah, it's a place to go.

Have a few brewskis. Decompress.

Ooh! I ordered rye.
She gave me the wrong shot.

She's kinda the Jack Donleavy
of barmaids, huh?

Is that your idea of a sense of humor?

-That was funny.
-I mean, that's a real sick remark.

-Okay, but funny.
-Hey, does Belker ever come in here?

No. No, he pretty much keeps to himself.

-Hey, what's doing?
-Hi, Mick.

Hey! How're you doing? Sit down.

-Yeah.
-Okay.

-You want a drink?
-Yeah! I'll have a beer.

-She'll be right back.
-LUCY: Hey, Robin.

I told you this was a great place, huh?

-We got a quorum now?
-JOE: How you doing?

-Good.
-JOE: Hey, Angel, another draw over here!

-Six o'clock.
-Mr. Benedetto.

Where do you want it?

Look, maybe I got a little excited
this morning, you know?

And maybe you being a cop and all,

I coulda figured some way
to eat that ticket.

-(sighs)
-Look, I got a problem, Mr. Benedetto.

I'm trying to get my emotional age up
to the double digits.

Hey, when do you wet yourself, huh?

When do you tell me about your bad heart?

I'm trying to get us disengaged.

Listen, you're a fat-mouth faggot,
and I'm gonna take your head off.

Outside.

One of these days I'm gonna learn
how to offend a better class of people.

(groans)

You suckered me, man.

Yeah? Tell me about it.

(both grunting)

Write me a letter.

All right, Country.
You want to give me another ticket?

(car door opens, closes)

-Frank?
-Hmm?

I've been invited to interview for a job.

Wonderful. What is it?

With the Justice Department.

I have to fly down
to Washington tomorrow afternoon.

It's kind of sudden, isn't it?

It only just came up this morning.

Clark's very excited about it.

He says they have to fill
the position by Monday.

I wasn't sure I could work out
the logistics.

In a ghoulish way, that poor survivalist
getting killed cleared the decks for me.

Who's Clark?

I told you about him.

He taught me Procedure in law school.

Ah.

Remember?

Oh, uh, yeah, I think so.

You must've made quite
an impression on him.

For him to keep you in mind all this time.

(laughs)

Actually, it was the other way around.

I think every girl in the class
had a crush on him.

Hmm? Was the crush reciprocated?

-You're jealous.
-Yes.

-He was married.
-Is he still?

-What?
-Married.

I didn't ask. It didn't come up.

I just wish you hadn't sprung it on me
like this.

Frank, it only just happened.

Well, what if you get the job?

I'm not going to do anything

until I talk it over with you first,
Pizza Man.

(sighs) Probably won't get it, anyway.

Probably will.

(closing theme playing)