All language subtitles for Ghosts S03E10

At this moment, I must ask

if anyone here has any
objections to this marriage.

Oi.

I do.

Is that...

The stripper from
my bachelor party.

Yes, I believe so.

Yes, Chris, the stripper from
Isaac's bachelor party,

you have a reason
these two should not wed?

I've got eight reasons.

Here they are, mate.

Is very good argument.I'll say.

Great barrier reef!

Isaac. Isaac.

Isaac!What? What? Oh!

You were moaning
in your sleep.

Oh. I-I was, uh...
I was having a nightmare.

I was... being mauled
by a koala.

How horrid.

I had a nightmare
there were no biscuits

for my cream tea.
Oh!

Well, no matter.
Happy wedding day, my love.

- Oh, our wedding day.
- Of course.

Huzzah!

And immediately following

all the boring stuff--The wedding ceremony.

I'm gonna be singing
the song "At Last."

It was popularized
by Etta James,

who was after my time,

but a lot of people are saying
I sing it better than her.

Who saying...A lot of people.

So, I hear you guys
are a throuple now. Some folks think

throuples are more complicated,

but in my experience,

they're just more
of a good thing.

So, where do you guys
want to sit for the wedding?

Thor like it up front.I prefer the back.

I like standing.

Yeah, I don't foresee
any problems

with this situation at all.

Hey, babe, where
do you want these flowers?

Oh, Hetty, where do we
want these flowers?

Oh, in the living room,
please.

Uh, in the living
room, Jay.

Got it.

Actually...Actually...

...by the front desk

might balance things out
nicely.

Actually, Hetty wants
them over here now.

I don't like this system.

She's the wedding
planner, Jay.

Would love to lend a hand

but, you know, ghost.

And where are we
with the music person?

The... jockey of the disc.Oh, Jay

booked a DJ online.
He'll be here soon

to set up his equipment.Oh!

Again, it just feels

like a big waste of money.

How come I can't play music
through my phone?

Because it's my wedding
and my fianc� is rich.

Groomzilla.

What are you doing up here?
Oh, just thinking.

I feel like I need
to speak to someone

regarding matters of the heart.

Of-of course. I'm here for you.

Oh. Oh.
Oh, you? Yes.

Yes, I suppose
that could work as well.Hey, man,

I had a girlfriend. Why doesn't
anyone ever remember that?

We remember. we also remember

that she left you
to smell roast beef.

What do you want, Isaac?

Well...

I had a dream last night.

Another in a recurring series
of such dreams.

About Chris...

The Australian stripper
from your bachelor party?

I am to wed Nigel today

and I wake up
thinking of another?

What is wrong with me?

Listen, it doesn't
mean anything.

You're just having cold feet.

You and Nigel are
amazing together.

Okay?
You're gonna be very happy.

So just put Chris out
of your head and enjoy today.

It's your wedding.You're right.

You're right.

I just won't give him
another thought.

Thank you, Sasappis,
you've been very helpful.

Which is remarkable,

considering your almost total
lack of experience

in these matters.

Hey, I had sex 43 times
when I was alive.

Mm-hmm. And that is
a very normal thing to say.

Man, this place is paradise.

And to be here
with my family--

I mean, that feels better
than when I got the Tomlinsons

upgraded to the presidential
suite at Sandals Jamaica.

Sorry, Reagan,
the room's booked!

Ah, I know you can't hear me,
but it still feels rude.

Holy smoked salmon,

she looks just
like Loni Anderson.

That's quite
the compliment, stranger.

Cream cheese and capers!
You're dead?

Sad but true.

Some jerk dropped his cellphone
off his ninth floor balcony.

Keep in mind,
this was in '82,

so it weighed
about 15 pounds.

Let me guess.
Heart attack?

That's good.

Why haven't I seen you
around here?

Well, I recently learned that
I'm not geographically-bound,

so I'm on vacation
with my living family,

unbeknownst to them.

Oh. So you're here
with your wife?

Wha... No, no.
My-my wife is dead.

I mean, I know
I'm also dead,

but-but...
My wife is terrible.

I'm single.

Well...

Hello, single.

I'm Donna.

Man, everything looks so pretty.

You know who
would love this?

My friend who would
visit me in the well.

What is she talking about?

Little secret
to dating Flower--

sometimes is best
to just smile and nod.

Okay. Loving these
insider tips, big guy.

She was always talking
about butter churning

and her husband Josiah

and her insatiable
thirst for revenge.

Ah, yes.Sure.

Oh, hey, Nigel.

Really excited
for you today.Oh, thank you.

Hey, not to drag you
into our throuple politics,

but we're having
a little disagreement

about where to sit or stand
at your wedding.

You care to weigh in?

Well, ha,
this is rather awkward,

but Isaac and I have made
the difficult decision

to not invite
any basement ghosts.

Hey, that's not fair.

What about Carol?

Isn't she living
in the basement now?

You invited her.

I actually
left the basement

and moved into the shed
with Baxter here.

We're very much in love.

Doesn't he sound
like James Bond?

Thank you, Sasappis.

I haven't thought about Chris
once in the past hour.

I mean, other
than in this moment.

but that was only
because I was telling you

how I hadn't thought of him,
which made me to think of him.

Great, man.
Glad I could help.

Such sage wisdom,
such an unlikely source.

You know, it wasn't just
the roast beef girl.

I also sort of had
a thing with Shiki.

Right, right, the 13 hellos.

Now bravely categorized
as "a thing."

You are really hard
to help, man.

Hey, babe, the DJ's here.

Where do you want him
to set up?

Getting sweaty carrying
all this equipment.

Oh, my God. That's him.

That's Chris the stripper.

Are you sure that's him?

Oh, yeah.

That's definitely him.

So, Jay, Chris actually was
the dancer that I hired

to dance in front
of an empty chair

for some reason.

That's my wife.
Anyway, Chris.

Let's check out
that playlist.Oh, yeah.

The literal man of my dreams,
a sculpted dinosaur aficionado

shows up the day
of my wedding.

That's not what I'd
call a great sign.

This is just
a weird coincidence

fueled by the fact that

small town
freelance strippers have to

work multiple jobs
to make ends meet.

I'm sure once you learn
a little more

about this fellow,
your crush will disappear.

Like how my crush
on Fats McGinty disappeared

after I found out
about him tommy-gunning

all those people to death.

I also didn't like how
he was rude to waitstaff.

Samantha, ask him why
he was over an hour late.

That doesn't speak well
of his character.

Give Isaac here
something bad to latch onto.

So, uh, Chris, was there, like,
a lot of traffic or something?

Oh, yeah, sorry I was late.

My boyfriend
had a car trouble,

had to go help him
change a tire.

He's gay and chivalrous.

He's not getting worse, Hetty.

Oh, my God!

Ugh. Jay!

Really?

You sure it wasn't you, babe?

Nope.

Sorry about the smell.
Jay's lactose intolerant.

Not a bother, mate.

I was actually born
without a sense of smell.

Oh, come on.

It is getting eerie.ALBERTA:
What does it matter?

This guy's alive.
You dead. Who cares?

It's just...

I didn't know
someone like this existed.

Ooh-ee!

This is a great old-timey
mansion you've got.

Did you know there were

some Revolutionary War
battles around here?

I'm a bit of a buff.
You guys seen Hamilton?

Here we go. He's Ham-head.

If this doesn't turn you off,
I don't know what will.

Yeah, it's incredible.

If you like
that sort of thing.

Personally, I consider him
a lesser Founding Father.

What?I mean, Federal Reserve?

Big whoop.

Like they weren't gonna
come up with that anyway.

Eh, guy was a joke.

I need air!

That was amazing.

I do love a man
in uniform.

Hey, speaking of very
specific fantasies,

you wouldn't be interested

in a little river rafting
role play, would you?

I don't know, Pete.

I bet the rapids are
rough and scary,

so you'd have
to hold me close.

Kiss me, Pete Martino.

I love following orders.

Ah!What? What?

My hand! It's gone!

Oh, no! Did a
piranha get it?

No, no, no,
this isn't the rafting fantasy!

Hey, mate.

How many people
are we expecting today?

Uh...
Full disclosure:

it's just gonna be
Sam and I,

but we still want you to DJ
as if it's a packed room.

Okay.

You don't find that weird?Last time I was here,

your wife had me dance
for an empty chair, so...

it's not for me
to question your kink.

Thank you. Just gonna run

a quick soundcheck.
Might get a little loud.

This is music?

How is anyone gonna dance
a quadrille to this?

They're really rubbing
our noses in this wedding.

Ghosts can't even eat.

There's literally
no added cost, no downside.

It's just personal.

Thanks for hanging out
with me down here.

I really appreciate it.Hey,

if one of the throuple
isn't allowed at the wedding,

then none of the
throuple is going.

Solidarity.

Although wedding is not
for another hour or so.

Still enough time
for one of us to be up there

fighting to overturn
this unjust policy.

Right.
I guess that makes sense.

You know, it-it might
be even more effective

if two of us
were up there,

lobbying for the cause.

Civil action is
helped by numbers.

So, you're both going up
to the wedding

and leaving me here?

We will avenge you.

Peace.

Oh, unbelievable.

Uh, guys.

Some lady just came
through the wall.

Who the hell are you?

So, you're telling me
your starting to rethink

your relationship with Nigel

just because Chris
has perfect abs,

loves dinosaurs,
hates Hamilton

and has no sense of smell?

Are you trying to
sell him on this guy?

Am I talking myself
into this marriage

just because I want to be
with someone?

I made a mistake
once before with Beatrice,

I don't want to make
another one.

Far be it from me to be
the guy pushing marriage,

but you may not want
to dump your fianc�

for someone on a different
plane of existence.

Oh! Sam, you got to come
downstairs right now

It's the stripper.
He's dying.

What happened?I don't know.

I came in here
and found him like this.

Does... this have...

crab in it?

Well, actually,
it's crab stock.

I find that a splash of it
really deepens

the umami of the guacamole.

Nice touch.We don't need a cooking
lesson right now, Jay.

I'm allergic to...

Oh, my God!Someone call an ambulance!

This man could die!Really? You think so?

I mean, really, you think so?

Because that would be sad.

Pete, you have to calm down.

We don't even know
what's happening.

Do you think I'll reappear
if I go back home?

Uh, m-maybe it's like that
photo in Back to the Future.

I don't know, Pete.
I-I've never

seen a ghost
vanish into oblivion before.

Oh, my God! Is that what
you think is happening?!

That I'm just gonna
keep disappearing

until I'm... gone?

Okay, Pete.

What did you tell me
about the last couple days?

That they've
been the best

of my entire
existence.

And what did you say
you'd be doing

if you were back home?

Well, around this
time, I'm usually

waiting for Sam to
bring in the mail.

Oh, God, that's sad.

Pete, we're ghosts.

We make the best
of our situation.

But deep down,

we're all just waiting
for the opportunity to move on.

Yeah, you could go home now.

Maybe that stops
whatever is happening.

But... look around.

If it did end here, now,

would that really be
the worst thing?

Any updates?

Well, the physicians

have arrived,
and it appears

things are
touch and go.

To help
him breathe,

they had to cut the poor chap's
shirt right open.

Well, maybe I should go down

and see if there's
anything I can do.

I'll go with you.

My dear Isaac.Hmm?

You look shaken.

Let me put your mind at ease.

We are getting married today,
no matter what.

Oh. Good.

Chris is gone.

Really?
Did he go right up

or did he remain a ghost?
Just curious. No reason.

What Thor meant
is that they

take Chris
to hospital.

They think
he'll be okay.

Oh, that's... wonderful.

I'm sorry, were you disappointed

that the stripper didn't perish
and become a ghost?

What? No.

Of course not.

I see.

Well, if you'll
excuse me,

I just realized it's bad luck

to see each other
before the wedding.

Now, Nigel, don't run away.

This isn't the
War of Independence.

Just-just starting
with a joke.

Miscalculation. Like when
you tried to take Lexington.

I should stop talking.

One last chance
to tell the truth.

Were you hoping that
that stripper

would become a ghost
and live here for eternity?

No. Yes. I-I mean,

my temporary lustfulness

was merely a symptom
of classic cold feet,

and if I am being honest,
in the run-up to our nuptials,

I may have been overthinking

some of the imperfections
in our relationship.

Imperfections?

Minor imperfections.

Like how I revere dinosaurs
and you prefer ants

or I like carrot cake
and you slept with Jenkins.

We were on a respite!

Yes.
What I'm saying is

these are all trifles.

Our relationship is steady.

Sturdy, like a trail ox.

You compare our relationship
to a trail ox?

Favorably so.

My neighbor sold
his daughter for a trail ox,

and Old Dusty plowed his farm
for 20 years

while Abigail grew up
to be a trollop and a drunk,

so that was a pretty good trade.

There is something
to be said for steadfastness.

I want to be with you.

Please, don't let a hiccup

ruin a marriage
made for eternity.

Oh, Isaac,
I can't stay mad at you.

Let us yoke
ourselves together

and plow
the fields of matrimony.

Huzzah!

See? We have been tested

and yet we emerge victorious.

Like the Americans at Lexington.

I-I don't know
why I'm like this.

I am so sorry. To the altar.Very...

Isaac Higgintoot,

do you take this man to be
your lawfully wedded husband,

for better or for worse,

in sickness
and in health...

You know, a lot of this
doesn't really apply.

...to have and to hold,

from this day forward?

Please, please, please,

please, please, please!

Oh, yes! Yes!

Oh! I'm back!

Completely back.
Good to see you, buddy.

Pete's here.Hey, man.

Pete, what happened?Wow, right in the middle

of the wedding.
I'm so sorry, you guys.

I-I just... I didn't mean
to interrupt the proceedings.

I'll just quietly find my seat.

Pete, why was half of you
missing just now?

It's fine, Peter. Explain.

Well, apparently, if I'm away
from Woodstone too long,

I start to disappear.

It actually led to

quite an existential crisis.

Faced with the possibility
of fading into oblivion,

I realized how much
I'd miss you guys,

and I had to head home.

Of course, now I miss Donna.Who's Donna?

She was my
Caribbean lover who was

the spitting image
of Loni Anderson.

Every moment with her

felt like fireworks--

the legally permissible kind

that are ignited
by trained professionals.

He may be a nerd,

but man, could he
bring it in the sack.

It's just crazy.
One day, you're sitting here

thinking your afterlife
will never change

and then, boom,

someone comes along
who upends everything.

You know when
you're with someone

and you feel
like your feet

aren't touching
the ground?

That's what it was
like with Donna.

Anywho, let's get
you two kids married, huh?

Yes, okay.

Where were we?

Isaac, do you take Nigel
to be your husband?

I don't.

Oh, my God!

The Knicks game
just went into overtime.

Is this wedding over yet?

One sec, Jay.

You... don't?

I can't.

I-I-I really
wanted this to work,

but hearing Pete talk,
I'm realizing

I think there might be
something missing here.

And you couldn't have
told me this an hour ago?

Well, again, the Pete thing.

I'm so sorry, Nigel.

Well, I just spoke with Nigel.

How'd it go, bud?

It was a difficult
conversation.

I was called a Yankee
more than once.

But in the end, he was
kind and understanding,

so now that
makes me feel even worse.

Isaac, sometimes people

come along that
serve a purpose.

And it doesn't mean

you have to be
with them forever.

They just help you grow.

That was deeply
profound, girl.

What did I say? Flower's right.

It's hard to hurt someone
you care about.

But the truth is,

you just weren't ready today,
and that's okay.

You've been around
for 300 years,

but you've only really known
who you are for a short time.

Thank you, guys.

And who knows what
the future holds.

I mean, Pete
had a fling with a woman

that looked like
Loni Anderson

and I schtupped a poltergeist.

Kvelling over that proper usage.

And I famously
dated a car ghost.

Until she left you
to smell roast beef.

Again, just trying
to help you, man.

The point is

maybe death has some
surprises for you yet.

What you did today,

truly brave.

You inspire Thor
to do something

that, up until now,

Thor afraid to do.

Flower?

Yes, Thor?

I do not want to be in throuple

because I only
want to be with you.

And the reason is...

I love you.

Thor just told Flower
he loves her.

Wow, we got big, big
stuff going down.

That scares me.

But what scares me more is...

...I love you, too.

And she said it back.

Oh, ho!
You know, it'd be a shame

for all those beautiful
wedding decorations

to go to waste.

No.

We would not do that
to Isaac on this day.

Yeah, I guess that would
be kind of monstrous.

Everybody,

Baxter and I have
an announcement.

We're getting married.

What?

Okay, looks like somebody

actually is
getting married today.

Carol and Baxter.

Yeah, buddy.
Good luck with that.

What? Who's Baxter?

He's very peripheral.
It doesn't matter.

Dinner will be ready
in a minute, babe.

God, I really missed
Jay's cooking down in the well.

Oh, I bet.

We're so happy to have you back.

You must have been lonely.

For the most part.
Other than the worms.

And my friend that
visited me in the well,

attracted by the
sounds of my screams.

What? Who was that?

Her name is Patience.

She's a lady that
lives in the ground.

What? Patience?

That's that Puritan lady

Isaac lost to the dirt
when he sneezed

and let go of her hand.

Oh, she remembers that.

It's kind of all
she talks about.

She's sort of
obsessed with Isaac.

I was told you
wanted to see me?

Yeah, come in, come in.

We heard you
didn't get married,

but we got you
a little wedding gift

and we'd still like
to give it to you.

Oh.
That is most kind.

You really should have invited
us to the wedding, Isaac.

He's here, Patience.

God bless you.Oh!

Uh, did you guys know
she was gonna do that?

No.

I kinda just thought

she was gonna come out

and yell at him
or something.

It's probably best we
don't tell anybody about this.

It's not a great look for us.

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