All language subtitles for Childs Play (1954).English

- Ladies and gentlemen, the
suggestion by certain papers

that our recent
explosion was not atomic

is, of course, quite untrue.

I am here to tell you

the real story of what happened.

This is the truth.

Honest, cross my heart!

You may smoke, gentlemen.

Now let me see.

It all started on a
Wednesday morning.

Yes, that's right.

It was the first
Wednesday of the holidays

and the secret
society of our village

were at their new headquarters,

fixing up the
resistance movement.

There's one of us
missing at the moment,

but I can introduce
you to the rest.

This is Tom Chizzler.

He's the leader of the gang,

bit on the bossy side, really.

But we don't take too
much notice of him.

Hans Einstein Blotz,
our mechanical genius.

He's a Swiss and lives

over near the atomic
research station.

His dad's a scientist.

Alice Nightingale's
the doctor's daughter.

She rather fancies
herself as a nurse,

always got a bandage
and things with her.

A bit silly, really.

Mary Huxley acts as a spy.

Her dad's a park keeper,
so she's used to hiding

in bushes and watching things.

And this seems to be
me, Horatio Flynn.

They say I exaggerate a
bit, but that's not fair!

I wouldn't do such a
thing, honest I wouldn't!

Well, that's five of us.

No sign of Ernest yet,

absent-minded like
most professors.

We haven't got time to hang
around all day waiting for him.

We got some importance
business on hand.

- Say, Tom, won't your
mum mind us living here?

- No, I rule the roost
around this joint.

♪ Cock-a-doodle doo

- You got a smell in here.

- Oh sit down it's cleaned
up and good manure too.

- Oh, got a flea already.

- I'll squirt some
disinfectant around.

- No, you won't.

You'll give the hens asthma.

- We got the most whopping
fleas in our garden.

They sit on the trees and bark.

- No!

- Honest they do.

- Anyone not
satisfied can get out.

Cut out the cackle and
let's get down to business.

We're going to wage a war.

- A war?

- Go on.

- Who do you think?

Police Constable
Parker, of course.

- Oh, Nosey.

- That's different.

- Hooray!

- We're going to blow him up.

- Good Lord, wow!

- Gee.

- That's right.

- Goody, we're gonna
blow up Nosey Parker.

- Quiet, quiet.

First of all, who knows
how to make gunpowder?

- Hans, you ought to.

Wasn't your grandfather
an inventor.

- Yeah, but in Switzerland
you don't invent gunpowder.

- What do you invent then?

- Well, my grandfather
invented an immersible watch

and a special cuckoo clock.

- My watch is immersible.

- Ooh.

- It is.

I often leave it in a
bucket of water overnight.

- But it doesn't go anyhow.

- I know but it is immersible.

- What was so special
about the cuckoo clock?

- It lays a wooden egg
on the first of April.

- Quiet, quiet.

Ernest will know how
to make gunpowder.

I wonder what's happened to him.

Why is he so late?

- Now get a move
on, get a move on.

You're obstructing the traffic.

- What traffic?

- Never you mind what traffic.

And get this contraption
out of the way.

- It's not a contraption,
it's a vehicle.

- Oh, it is, is it?

And where's your license?

- Don't be ridiculous.

I'm not old enough to have one.

- You watch your
step, young man.

You're old enough
for me to run in.

Bostle, that's where you
ought to be the lot of you.

- Fen Parker can't bear
children, you know.

- No one expects him to do them.

- Hm?

Oh, Doctor, you are awful.

- Weekly reports, please,
and make it slippy.

- I chalked Nosey
Parker on his wall.

- I sent him a postcard
without a stamp.

He had to pay five pence.

- And I put a banana
skin under his bath mat.

Whoop!

- And I put weed killer
in his watering can.

- I put a douse of salts
in his thermos flask.

- What's the
problem with Parker?

Are some of the young talent
been getting up to mischief?

- Well, mind you, I suppose
he's only conscientious

but he needn't have
reported young Tom

for setting the clock back
down at the railway station,

did he now.

- I didn't hear about that one.

I won't take these.

It's rather coarse paper.

Gimme an ounce of
my usual, will you?

- Yes.

It appears that he slipped into
the station master's office

and set the clock
back 20 minutes.

They were very
angry on the Brighton Bell.

- Why?

- Well, old Fred in the signal
box got his times all mixed

and sent it up to Scotland.

- Blimey.

Make it two ounces, will you?

- But what I say is youthful
spirits, just youthful spirits.

You mustn't repress them
or the most dreadful things

will happen in later life.

- Well, according to your
theory my young Alice

should be pushing
somebody over a cliff

so that she can bandage them up.

You know, I wouldn't put it
past a single one of them,

dear little children.

I'd drown the blinking lot.

- Oh, go on.

- Now, that young Ernest,

for instance.

He's another of them.

Next thing he'll be making
atomic bombs like his father.

- A brilliant man.

- Cheffle?

Oh, he's a clever enough
fellow I understand.

But why this village of all
villages should be inflicted

with a rash of atomic
scientists beats me.

- Well, I suppose we
should be honored.

Splitting the atom up there
at the atomic station,

well, there's not many
people can do that.

- Maybe not.

But this is just a nice,
ordinary, civilized village.

All we want is to be left
in peace and quietness.

- Gunpowder?

That's easy.

We'll need 200 grams of
sulfur, call it half pound,

say four ounces of saltpeter.

- Lucky my dad's a chemist.

- When will you pinch it?

- Want a clip on the ear?

Who said I'm gonna pinch it?

- I suppose it's
not pinching really.

- What's my dad's
mine, isn't it?

What else do we need?

- I've got the rest of
the ingredients in my lab.

- Good old prof.

- Gunpowder will put Nosey
Parker in his place all right.

But it's got to be secret see.

All take the oath.

Swear where?

- Where we swear where
know what to the woo spear we.

- Come outta there
at once all of you.

- Let's scatter quick!

- Oh, Mum!

- You'll wait till your
father hears about this.

You'll get it.

Poor things at laying time, too.

It's a wonder they can
contain themselves.

- Ernest, is that you?

- Yes, Mom.

- Come up here a
moment, will you?

- All right.

Don't touch.

Oh Mum, what are you doing?

- Now, what does it
look as if I'm doing?

I'm cleaning your
father's study.

- He won't like that at all.

- Don't be silly.

Can't have him coming
back from America

to a dirty hole like this.

- But Mum, all these papers,
suppose you got them maggled?

- Oh, they can soon
be sorted out again.

- And all the
information's so secret.

That's why it was locked up.

How did you get in anyway?

- Key of the dining
room fitted the door.

- Anyone knows that.

- Ernest, you
haven't been coming

in here yourself, have you?

- From time to time.

But I didn't do any harm.

- Now what have you been up to?

- Studying atomic
research that's all.

- Ernest.

- Well, just some
preliminary work

on the angular correlation

of scattered
annihilation radiation.

It's from Wampimpsky's
theory you know.

- No, I didn't know.

Well, I don't know

what your father's going
to have to say about it.

- Don't tell him,
Mum, please don't.

- You're a very naughty boy.

You know this is where he keeps
some of his secret papers.

You had no right
to come in here.

- Nor had you, Mum.

- And using
the dining room key

was both artful and deceitful.

- Wasn't it?

- Ernest, over
here in the corner,

there's some rubbish.

It's some old fossils
and rocks and stuff

I want to get rid of.

Do you want it?

- Oh rather!

But grandfather collected
these while he was at sea.

- I have no idea
where they came from

but they've been here
for far too long.

- Won't Dad mind?

- Now, why should he mind?

If you have them, they'll
still be in the family.

I shan't have to
dust them, shall I?

- They're jolly interesting.

I'll put them in my museum.

Hey, Horry, give us
a hand with these.

- Cralls, what a windfall.

- There must be something
valuable among this lot.

My dad's completely ignorant
when it comes to geology.

We'll take them to my museum.

I built a new machine
since you were here last.

- Oh goody.

Cralls, take a look at that!

- Hey, can't
you see this is private?

- Linda can't read.

- You've got him
awfully wet, darling.

Take him out in the sun to dry.

Good girl.

It's simply a matter
of understanding them.

Ooh, this old stone doesn't
doesn't half feel funny.

- Funny, what do you mean?

- I don't know.

Sort of prickly, like it's
giving off an electric shock.

- Let's feel.

It does, too.

Krakatoa!

- Kraka-what-a?

- Krakatoa, look.

Let's see now.

- Turn it over.

- I'd better put on
my asbestos glove.

- What for?

- You never know what might
happen with a thing like that.

I suppose you know
what Krakatoa was?

- Of course.

Ooh what a stink.

- Let's see now the
K-40 disintegration.

This ought to be interesting.

Run over the proton
energy ranges.

Set scintillation counter
for two mu time base.

Horry, we've got something
extraordinary here.

- Is it dangerous?

- Maybe.

- Look, I've got the gunpowder.

Look, I've got it.

I've got it.

Look, I've got it.

What's that old stone you're
mucking about with there?

- This is probably the
rarest specimen in the world.

It came from Krakatoa.

- Krakatoa?

Never heard of it.

- You tell him, Horry.

- Mmm, no you.

- Well, it was an
island in the Pacific

that blew itself up
about 70 years ago.

- How could it?

- Like a volcano only
much more violent.

- That's right, my grandfather
was there in a rowing boat

and if he hadn't put
his umbrella up--

- There he goes again.

- No, honest, cross my heart.

- Is that all that
was left of it?

- More or less.

- Well, what's all
the fuss about?

- Can't you see,
it's radioactive like
uranium and polonium.

- Don't you want the
sulfur and saltpeter?

- Oh, anyone could get those.

- Anyone couldn't without
getting found out.

You couldn't.

- It takes all sorts
to make a world,

doesn't it, Horatio?

- Are you taking
the Mike out on me?

- Sorry, chief.

- You wanna blot Nosey
Parker, don't you?

- Rather.

- Okay, we'll make the
gunpowder this afternoon.

- Good oh!

- We can have a trial explosion.

- Yes, nearly everyone
will be at Mill Green

for the cricket
match this afternoon.

- Sounds as if your
dinner's ready.

- Lunch.

- Thank God for my good meal.

Please can I get down?

- Not yet 'cause now you're
gonna have the presents

Daddy sent you from America.

- Good oh!

- There's some
popcorn for you both.

And look what I've
got for Linda.

A lovely doll.

Look, shuts its eyes

and it talks.

It even drinks from a bottle.

- I suppose it cries
in the night, too.

- This is for you, Ernest.

It's a little bit larger.

I better put it over here.

It's a toy atomic set.

- Toy atomic set?

How absolutely smashing.

- Doesn't seem
to me a very nice idea

for a toy.

Goodness knows what
they'll think of next.

- Hey, super.

- Mind you don't make
too much mess there, Ernest.

- Ingenious, making the
mu meson factors equal

on a logarithmic scale.

No, should be cubed I think.

Oh, that'll be Hans signaling.

Dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dot.

Dash, dash.

Hans' mother wants to know
if you'd like to come to tea.

- You tell her I
should be delighted.

- Delighted?

I'll just say yes.

- Look what I
found on the floor.

It's the baby's stomach.

Come on, put it in the mouth.

- Can she come?

- Yah, she can come.

Mum?

- Mm hm.

- Ernest has a toy atomic
bomb set from America.

- Oh no, Hans, that's too much.

A toy atomic bomb set?

- What's wrong about it?

Sounds super.

- Oh why aren't you and
Ernest like other boys

playing cricket or something?

- Because they're too civilized.

- Mum, can I have Hans and
some of the rest of the gang

over to play this afternoon?

- Yes, I suppose you can as
long as you behave yourselves

and don't blow up the house
or anything while I'm out.

- Oh, I doubt if there's
any danger of that.

- Dot, dash, dash, dash, dot.

- Dot, dot, dash, dot,
dot, dash, dash, dash dot.

Dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dot,

dash, dot, dot.

- Hello there, Parker.

What are you up to?

- Dot, dot.

There's something mighty fishy
going on over there, Sarge,

by the atomic station.

Morse code, look.

- Well,
I don't see anything.

- Well, it's stopped now.

It was coming from that house
where them foreigners live.

I smell a rat.

- Ah, you and your rats.

What did it say?

- Well, I still
have to look it up.

- Here, let me see.

- B-L-O-W, blow up,

Nosey the Narc.

- Nosey the Narc?

That's highly suspicious.

Sounds like a Bolshevik agent.

Nosey the Narc.

I wonder who he is.

- Investigate it, my
lad, investigate it.

I'd do so myself only
I'm playing cricket.

- Cricket.

- Yes, cricket.

Funny how at great
moments of our history

English people go off to play
cricket or balls or something.

Sergeant Butler's my
uncle, well, sort of.

He's captain of
Barley Cricket Team.

Played at Lord's ever so often.

Honest.

So that afternoon,
most of the villagers

went over to watch
him in the match

against Mill Green.

The place was deserted

except for a few people
like Miss Goslett.

And she had to
rest her poor feet.

Old Bob Crouch, he
had a floating kidney

and the doctor said he
had to keep it floating.

Honest.

And, of course, PC Parker.

He was investigating.

We met at Ernest's place
for a high-level conference.

- Could tell this is
American all right,

mass produced plastics.

They've soldered
everything together

instead of using rivets.

- Technologically
backward lot, aren't they?

- Fall over backwards you mean.

It wouldn't stand up
to any sort of strain.

I've had to replace a
lot of the junctions.

- I suppose in America the
kids just play with it,

don't put it to any use at all.

- Don't you think
it'll work then?

- Now I fixed it it should.

- Perhaps it'll say cuckoo
and lay a wooden egg.

- Do you want for me to stop?

- No, no, Hans,
only pulling your leg.

- Where?

- Don't take any
notice of him, Hans.

How are we getting on?

- Will it make a big bang?

- Shouldn't think so but
we may get a surprise.

You see, I'm doing
something very unorthodox.

I'm putting in a chip
of Krakatoa rock.

- Tom.

- Ernest, Tom.

- Ernest.

- Pipe down, this is a
secret society, isn't it?

Hey, what's the idea of
bringing them nippers with you?

- We've got to look after them.

- Aw.

- Have you made the gunpowder?

- Gunpowder, forget it.

- But aren't you gonna
blow up Nosey Parker?

- This is the atomic
age, isn't it?

Come on in.

Members only.

- Cooer!

Isn't it complicated?

- Is it dangerous?

- Is it dangerous?

You bet it's dangerous.

It's the most dangerous thing
ever happened in Barley.

- Goody.

- We'd better get the museum
evacuated, just in case.

We'll all have to lie
down behind a barricade.

- You think it's
a safe distance?

- Yes, I should think so.

We'll check it when we
get back to the museum.

- Do you want
everything out, Prof?

- Yes, there's a lot of
valuable stuff still there.

- I'll stay here
and be supervisor.

- You couldn't be
a super anything.

- I could.

- What then?

- Well, I could be a um--

- Supercilious?

- Super silly ass you mean.

- Ha ha ha.

- Come on, another couple
of trips will finish it.

But press on regardless.

Bang on with ho.

- There, it will go now.

- Oh, bless you, Carl.

- It was simple.

Hans could have done it.

- Hans takes after
you, doesn't he?

- Possibly.

And little Ernest
after his father.

- No, they grow up too
soon, that's the trouble.

Always the engineering,
always the science with them.

- Well, it keeps
them out of mischief.

Ernest enjoys studying so
John and I encourage him.

- When do you expect your
John back from America?

- 'Bout the end of the month.

- Aren't you tired of
being what you call it,

a grassy widow?

- Very.

Oh, by the way, John
has just sent Ernest

the most frightful
present, a toy atomic set.

Children love it.

I expect that's what they're
playing with this afternoon.

- It's not
dangerous is it?

- No, no, Lea.

Probably just an elaborate
firework that's all.

Always she worry.

Good boys your
Ernest and my Hans.

Perhaps one day they
make big noise, eh?

- Now the big moment.

In goes the Krakatoa.

- Good, media ready.

- Just think, an atom bomb.

- Boom, boom!

- Pity we haven't got
a goat to test it on.

- Goat?

- Yes, stupid.

They always try it out on goats.

- Well, listen to this a
piscatorial vertebrate.

- Mm, that'll do.

Mary, do you mind bringing out

my protective clothing, please?

It's down there on the floor.

According to my computations,

30 feet should be a safe range.

The blast, of course, will
follow the law of pumpernickel.

We needn't worry about that.

Come on, we're all set

and almost ready to start.

Come on!

- Come on!

- That's it.

You operate it.

- Right.

- I'll give you the
signal for exactly 5:00.

- Keep down all of you.

Ready, steady, go.

- In this bounch in here.

- Look!

Look, an atomic explosion!

- Golly!

- Smashing!

- Did you hear that bang?

- Explosion, square up.

- Now nip off home, all of you.

And remember it
was only fireworks.

- Awful noisy.

- It's fairly safe.

There's not much radioactivity

and it's passed enough already.

I suppose it'll get so it.

You don't want any gettin'.

- Remember everyone, gunpowder,
gunpowder, gunpowder.

- Now then, now then,
what's going on here?

- There's been an explosion.

- Explosion?

Anyone could see that.

But what kind of explosion,

that's what I wanna know?

- Oh, just an ordinary one.

- Eh?

- Gunpowder.

- In its simplest form.

- And what are you all
dressed up like that for?

- I thought it
was going to rain.

- And where did you get
this gunpowder from?

- We made it.

- You did, did you?

What out of?

- Elementary, my dear constable.

Sulfur and saltpeter
and charcoal--

- Elementary?

Where did you get 'em from?

- My dad's shot.

- Pinched it, eh?

- You're always accusing
us of doing something wrong.

- Fen Parker, don't bully them.

- Now look here, Emily
Goslett, the law's the law.

You know that.

- Fiddles, can't you see
they've had a fright?

- Fright.

- Are any of you hurt?

- No, Miss Goslett.

- I saw a great
big mushroom go up.

- Mushroom?

Are you suspicious?

- Oh Bob Crouch is
always seeing things.

He wouldn't know the
difference between a mushroom

and a toadstool.

Ought to be

ashamed of himself.

- It were a mushroom.

I knows a mushroom
when I sees one.

Mushroom.

- Not much, not much.

- Ernest, are you all right?

- Yes, Mum.

- What happened?

- There's an explosion.

- Where's Linda.

- Oh, she went home
with the others.

- No, no, don't hurt me.
- You naughty boy,

you naughty!

- What happened?

- There's been an explosion.

- What sort of explosion?

- That's what I wanna know.

- Gunpowder.

- Ordinary gunpowder?

- Yes.

- They just wouldn't believe us.

Mr. Blotz and old Nosey
kept on asking us questions.

We were as close as oysters.

I had a bit of a job keeping
one or two of the gang quiet

but I managed it.

The cricket match finished early

and soon the rest

of the village came home.

Old Bob Crouch soon
told them the news

and they rushed to see
what it was all about.

- The constable wanted to know

about the Morse code flashing.

I told him it was only little
Hans playing with a mirror.

- Gunpowder, ridiculous.

- What do you mean?

- There's a field
of radioactivity,

slight and quickly fading,
but undoubtedly there.

It was an atomic explosion.

- Oh no!

- Do you think that
toy atomic set?

- Impossible.

They wouldn't put
high explosives

in a thing designed
for children.

- Well, there were
little bottles

and packets of
chemicals with it.

- Harmless enough I'm sure.

Magnesium or sulfur.

No, no, chemicals
provided with a toy

don't split atoms.

Somehow they have got hold
of a very secret formula.

Margery, Ernest has
never had access

to his father's papers has he?

- Yes, as a matter
of fact he has.

- But how?

- Well, he's been
going into John's study

while he's been away.

He's only been reading
things that's all.

- This is serious.

If the atomic commission
suspect a leakage--

- They mustn't!

- It will be difficult
to keep it from them

and perhaps not wise.

We are foreigners you know.

Perhaps it would be best to
go to Sir Charles immediately

and before him lay the facts.

- Already that
policeman is suspicious.

- He is a fool.

- But the children all
swear it was only gunpowder.

- It was not gunpowder.

- Anyway if they burn
up the atomic set,

it can't happen again, can it?

- If they have.

But even so.

- We mustn't do a thing about
it until John gets back.

It wouldn't be fair to him.

Might even jeopardize
his position.

- Undoubtedly, but if
Ernest has stumbled

across a secret--

- He couldn't have
done anything about it

without Hans's help, could he?

We must keep this to ourselves.

We really must.

- I don't like it.

If they have accidentally
discovered a secret--

- Carl, why don't
you talk to them

and find out how much
they have discovered?

- Yes, that's a good idea.

He's wonderful with children.

- Ernest,
Hans, come here

for a moment.
- We'll leave you

alone with them but don't
be too technical, darling.

Remember, they're only children.

Come on, come on.

- Well, boys, have you
got over your shock?

- Shock, father?

- From the accidental explosion.

It was an accident, wasn't it.

- I think we might
say that the result

was not wholly anticipated.

- We should have remembered
that releasing excessive energy

in a confined space
is always dangerous.

- Well, it is only by our
mistakes that we can learn.

In fact, boys, and I don't
want this to go any further,

we of the atomic commission
may learn something

from your little accident today.

- Really, father?

How?

- Well, it is difficult to
put it into simple language

that you would understand.

But briefly, your
explosion released

a minor field of radioactivity.

- Radioactivity, father?

- How wonderful!

You mean a real
atomic explosion?

- Well, yes.

You see, the Barclay School--

- Father, you don't accept
their theory surely.

- They certainly
didn't convince me.

- Don't you two try
being smart with me.

Here, I'll show you
how it could happen.

- Activate uranium from solar
sources would never do it.

- You might get away with
it from power sources.

- And even then
it will be risky.

- All right, you show me!

- Father, you seem
upset about something.

- Just because you can't
split an atom, Mr. Blotz,

is no reason to shout at us.

You have to make an allowance
for risk factor 1.75

on this you know.

- Otherwise you might
blow up the village.

- What made you think the
explosion was atomic, Mr. Blotz?

- I checked it with
my Geiger counter.

- Father, you didn't go
into a field of activity

without any protection.

- There was no danger.

- But the high energy
alpha particles

could damage your
tissues severely.

- However, as you said, Father,

it is only by our
mistakes that we learn.

- But such a lesson could
be most painful, Hans.

The ionization would
still be strong enough

to cause a chronic decay
of the internal organs.

- I give up.

- Why did you have to bring her?

- Mother
had to go up to town.

- We'll have to co-opt
her for this meeting.

- This is a special
meeting, see.

And now we've got
our new headquarters,

we don't want a lot of
women messing about.

- I move Linda to be co-opted.

- She mightn't want
to be co-opted.

- This is a free country

and if we want to
co-opt her we can.

- Do you want to
be a member, Linda?

- Yeah!

- Does she get an equal vote?

- Of course.

Now let's get down to business.

That explosion yesterday

seems to have driven
you all cuckoo.

- In Switzerland,
the cuckoo--

- Is a very peculiar bird.

- It stays on the
side of a mountain.

- And learns to fly in
ever-decreasing circles--

- Until finally--

- And around the ruffle--

- Shut up!

- Boo!

- Shh.

I'm gonna keep peace and
order at this meeting

if I have to lick every
one of you to do it.

- Tom, old Bob
Crouch was talking

about mushrooms
again last night.

- Mush-ohms, you mean.

- He was exaggerating so much
that nobody believed him.

That's what happens when people
don't stick to the truth.

- We've got to convince
everyone it was

a gunpowder explosion.

Are we all agreed on that?

- Yes!

- No.

- Good, now, what?

- No.

- But why?

- You can't question her vote.

- She's entitled
to her own opinion.

- I think they call it a veto.

- Whatever they call it, we're
not having any of them here.

I'm the biggest and
what I say goes.

Is that understood?

- Yes.
- Yah.

- Good, now how are we
going to convince everyone

it was a gunpowder explosion?

- One of us must be
caught with the gunpowder

and then confess that he
blew up the summer house.

- A good idea.

Horatio, you will volunteer.

- Oh no, I don't feel very well.

I may even have to
go to bed after tea.

- Then you can do it before tea.

You will got to the police
station and confess.

Are we all agreed to accept
Horatio's brave gesture

in sacrificing himself
for the common good?

- Yes.

- I cannot tell a lie.

I chopped down, I mean, I
blew up the summer house.

I searched the
village for explosive

but there was none to be found.

Then I remembered the gunsmith
over at Raggley Proper.

So while you were having your
lunch, I borrowed your bike

and rode for seven
miles to his shop.

I knew I only had half an
hour to do it and return

but I was determined.

Steel shutters on
his shop were tough

but I managed to tear them--

- You're a little liar.

You can't even ride a bike.

- I can.

- Ah, what are
you coming in here

telling a string of lies for?

What are you up to?

- It's not lies, Uncle.

I blew up the summer
house with this gunpowder.

- Gunpowder?

Do you expect me
to believe that?

What is it anyway, soot?

- No, it's gunpowder,
Uncle, honest.

- Oh, nonsense.

If it was gunpowder you'd say

that it was something different.

I know you and your stories.

- Please, Uncle, it
is really gunpowder.

- Well, I'm going to prove
to you that it isn't.

Here, I'm taking you
to see your aunt.

- Oh unhand me.
She'll teach you

to play your tricks on me.
- I told you it wasn't.

Oh put me down, you put me down!

Ow!

Ha, ha, ha.

And do you know what they did?

They put me straight
to bed with no supper.

That's a very silly
thing to do to someone

as delicate as I am.

Honest it is.

It must've run down my
health 'cause the next day

I've got measles.

At first, I liked bed.

Many a redskin bit the dust.

The spots suited me.

It was as if they
were painted on.

But I missed the gang.

Every day at noon, I could
hear a faraway explosion

only blasting the quarry
over Brookford way

but it made me wonder
what the gang was up to.

Then one day the chief got
a message through to me.

Of course, I went there as
soon as I was allowed up.

There is two quarries
near our village.

One hasn't been used for ages.

Most people have
forgotten about it.

That's the one that's
up at Green Lane.

- Oy!

- Mary, was that you
making noise like an owl?

- Mm, it's our warning signal.

I do a cuckoo better but Hans
is a bit sensitive about them.

- Why is your face
painted up like that?

- Camouflaged as a bush, silly.

I'm spyin'.

How's the measles?

- Gone but I've suffered
something terrible,

hovered on the brink of death.

- Oh, I hadn't heard.

- It was gonna be a quiet
funeral, no flowers.

- It's good you came today.

- Why?

- We're going to try it out.

- Try what out?

- Come and see.

Here's Horatio.

- Good old
Horry, in for the kill.

- Isn't it super!

Absolutely super!

- I invented it.

- I made it.

- Under my supervision.

- And I've made all these
bandages and things.

- Whatever for?

- In case of accidents.

- Haven't there been any yet?

- Well, Tom sat on a bee
but he wouldn't let me--

- Alice, I'll have
to liquidate you

if you aren't careful.

- Will
it really work?

- We'll soon see.

That's where the
explosion's going to be.

- We don't want to
blow up our plant this time.

- What's the
corrugated iron for?

- So that no
mushrooms don't go up.

- That was my idea.

- I fixed it.

- Under my supervisions.

Want to do a bit of work?

- I'm still feeling rather weak.

- Okay,
take it easy then.

- Buck up, Ernest,
it's nearly 12.

- What's the hurry?

- They always blast over
at Brookford dead on 12.

Two bangs will sound like
one over at the village.

- Ha ha, that'll fool 'em.

- How's the
Krakatoa going?

- Oh, we've plenty left yet.

- And things is too peaceful
around here for my liking.

- Eh, how do you mean?

- Those darn kids
behaving themselves

too well if you ask me.

Say they go birdwatching now.

Something cooking somewhere.

- Well, it's up to
you to nosey there.

- I happen to know
that that explosion

at the Cedars was atomic.

- Eh?

- Old Bob Crebs saw the
mushroom same as what I did.

Tompkins' cat went
bald the next day

and the cows give off sour milk.

- Well, that evidence
isn't conclusive.

- You mark my word, Sarge.

Mrs. Chappel and
them two foreigners

is hushing something up.

- Oh, ridiculous nonsense.

- You'll see.

- You checked up about that
sulfur and stuff, didn't you?

- I did.

Tom Chizzler pinched
that from his dad's shop.

But I tell you I smell a rat.

- Rat?

Puff.

- All set?

On the third stroke it
will be 12 noon precisely.

Pip, pip, pip.

- Did you hear anything, Sarge?

- No, what?

- An explosion.

- You've got explosions
on the brain.

It'll be blasting
over at Brookford.

- I'm not so sure about that.

- Well, investigate it
then, investigate it.

Don't stand there.

- Come on, quickly.

You keep a lookout
for Nosey Parker

while I light the decoy.

- Got the matches?

Take this cannon, it
might come in handy.

- Do you think the
bonfire will really work?

- Of course.

Hurry up!

He might be on
the trail already.

- Did you see that
look he gave us?

- Mm hm, I did.

It's always the same.

Carl thinks he's a fool
but I'm not so sure.

- How glad I shall be
when John gets back.

- You have no idea when
that will be, I suppose.

- Nothing definite.

Anyway the children
seem to be keeping

out of mischief these days.

- Nosey Parker's
just got up the lane.

- Whew!

- Pity we
never blew him up.

- I thought
he had us that time.

- Whew, that's that.

- Jolly good.

We split the atom again.

- So what?

- We can go on doing it.

- Where does that get us?

We can't use it in the village
because they'll make us

pack it in.

It don't seem so interesting
now we've got it tight.

- Especially as there
aren't any casualties.

- You don't want no
one to get hurt do you?

- Course not, silly.

I just want to be useful.

- Blowing up things
isn't very useful.

I wonder if it's been
worth all the trouble.

- We've split the atom though.

It's a scientific achievement.

- But once
we've done it what?

- Yes, the result
is basically dull.

- I'd sooner let off a squid.

- I never did think
much of atom bombs.

- Me neither.

A bit of fun with
gunpowder is one thing

but atom bombs, I wonder
what grownups see in them.

All the fuss they make.

- All that work for nothing.

- It's a simple machine, Hans.

- Rather.

- Think of the
energy it lets loose.

- But what's
the good of that?

- In Switzerland,
we harness energy.

Lakes, glaitchers,
glaciers, and these things

are making something useful.

- Something useful.

Why not?

- You mean like power station?

- Sort of, more like a factory.

- Could be.

- But
what shall we make?

- We could make some
dolls for a start.

- Dolls, oof.

I'd rather have a few
a bikes and planes.

- Too many components.

Must be something
simple and homogenous.

Something that'll repeat itself.

- Popcorn's nice.

Bang Corn would be better.

Why not make that?

- Bang Corn, yes!

- That's a fine idea.

Make that.

- Bet you couldn't.

- Bet we could.

Wonder what its
component parts are.

I could analyze it.

- But that'd take ages.

- I know, why
not ask Miss Goslett?

- Yeah!

- You go.

- Yes, you go.

- There we are, Bill.

- Goll, they look a bit
of all right, don't they?

- They ought to the
time they've taken me.

- Mm, could sell all you'd
like to make I could.

- I'd like to make
a great many more

but I can't.

- Well anyway, thanks.

Cheers.
- Cheerio, Bill.

- Mm, export?

- That's right, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

- Bill sells quite a lot
of my homemade sweets

on his rounds in the
other villages you know.

- Very nice, too.

Can I have something for
one of my special patients?

- Yes, now what would you like?

Jelly babies, dolly
mixtures, all day suckers,

gobstoppers, sherbet bags,

or just a stick of rock?

- I'll take that.

You know, I've often wondered
how they get the name

to stay right through.

- It's quite simple, you know.

It's all done with mirrors.

- Hello, Bill.

- Hello, Alice, how are you?

- Fine, thank you.

- Hello, Alice.

- Oh, hello, Daddy.

- I thought you'd
gone birdwatching.

- Well, we had but--

- But you've come back
for some sweets, eh?

- Well, no.

- Do you wanna see me?

- Oh, no, Daddy.

- Well, what is it then?

- Well, I wanted to speak to
Miss Groslett in confidence.

- Oh, all right, I'll
leave you two ladies alone.

Mind you give her good
advice, Miss Goslett.

- Now then, what is it?

- Miss Goslett,
what's in popcorn?

- What's in popcorn?

- Well, yes, if you
were going to make it,

what would you use?

- Well, I never have it.

It's an American thing you know

but I should say it would
be corn, blown up somehow

with sugar and
raspberry flavoring

and a spot of curry.

- Corn, sugar,

raspberry flavoring, and curry.

Thanks ever so, Miss Goslett.

- Not thinking of trying
to make it are you?

- Well--

- Oh, I should try something
easier if I were you.

How 'bout fun jaw
or treeple toffee?

- Well, no, see they
don't have to be blown up.

- Koo, that won't make much.

- We'll see.

- I bet it doesn't work.

- Bet it does.

Bags I try first piece.

- I've been able to
eliminate all the smoke

so there's absolutely
no danger now.

It won't even make much noise.

- That's where the
explosive force goes now.

- Yes, all canalized
into useful energy.

- Yah, and
the radioactivity

has been absorbed internally.

- Jolly good but
let's get cracking.

At your stations please.

- It's worked, it's worked!

- A box of stomach pills
please, a large one.

- Oh yes, I'll take one as well.

- Oh, there's been
a real run on these

for the past few days.

- My Joyce is over food.

She won't touch a thing.

- Marcel's the same and Eileen.

Had to make her eat up
her apple tart today.

She loves it as a rule.

Do you know what she did?

Threw it up.

- Oh indeed.
- Yes, my did the same thing.

None of the children in the
village seem to be hungry.

- I took my Eileen to the doctor

and he said there was
nothing wrong with her.

And now his daughter
Alice is the same way.

- Perhaps it's some new disease,

starving diabetes or
something like that.

- Oh.

- Oh well, I think I'll
try my Joyce with this.

- Yes, you can't beat
a good spring cleaning.

- I agree with you.

- You know the doctor asked
me if mine were eating

too many sweets.

I said too many?

Why, you can't
enough these days.

- Too many sweets?

Why, I've hardly sold an
ounce for the past few days.

- Come to think of it,
they've all been munching

some sort of popcorn.

- Popcorn?

That's funny.

- Don't feel as though I
can ever look Bang Corn

in the face again.

- Me neither.

- And Dad sent Linda and
me another box of it.

- Ugh, just look at it all.

- I reckon it's impaired myself.

- Oh, for a nice piece
of lovely dried bread.

- What on Earth
can we do with it?

- We can't give any
more to the other kids.

- No, too many awful
questions are being asked.

- We ought to be able to
find a real market for it.

I mean, help the export
drive or something.

- Miss Goslett might
be able to help.

- Oh yes.

- But she's a grownup.

- Not really she isn't.

- I've seen her
sucking a sherbet bag.

- She rides
her bike no hands.

- She skims flat stones
on the pond, too.

- And she hates PC Parker.

- Could we trust her?

- But if she comes in on this,

she'll have to become
one of the gang.

- Swear allegiance
to you and all?

- Sure, I'm chief, aren't I?

- Well, that's that.

Personal and immediate,
Miss E. Goslett.

Secret and confidential.

If you want to know
something to your advantage

come secretly to Green Lane

this afternoon at three.

This means money for you.

Six well-wishers.

- Why, say, look at his nims.

- Oh, Tom, you do look lovely.

- Cut it out!

This may mean big
business for us.

We've got to look to
prosperous haven't we?

- Fancy your mum letting
you put on your Sunday suit

on a Wednesday.

- She doesn't know.

- You'll cop it.

- How are we doing?

- We thought we'd
give her a cup of tea.

- Nice work.

That may just clinch her.

We mustn't seem too eager, mind.

We don't want her to think
we're a bunch of kids.

- And no giggling, Horatio.

- Right oh.

- Alice, you act
as sort of hostess,

and you and Hans be ready
to give a demonstration.

- We're all set.

- Here we are.

It's in here.

- In here?

Oh, quite yes.

- Here's Miss Goslett.

- Good afternoon, Miss Goslett.

- Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon, my dears.

- Won't you take a seat?

- Thank you.
- Yes, but--

- Welcome to our headquarters.

- Here!

- Shut up, Horry.

- May I offer you a cup of tea?

- Oh, thank you, my dear, but--

- Milk of lemon?

- Lemon?

- Oh yes, some
people do you know.

But milk for me please.

- How many sugars?

- Six.

I'm very honored
by this invitation.

- Really?

- But just a little mystified.

For instance, all this popcorn.

- Bang Corn.

I named it.

- I invented
how to do it.

- And I made the atomic power.

- Under my supervision.

- I'm the nurse.

- I'm the spy.

- I am the fat toter man.

- Now, isn't this super.

Thank you, nurse.

- Like to try Bang Corn?

- I jolly well would.

Nice, delicious, terrific.

- Atomic.

- Like to become a
member of our gang?

- Rather.

- Swell aware.

- Sell aworkedly.

Ell away swell aware.

- Good a woody.

Now we'll tell you our scheme.

- Bill, sample this, will you?

- Mm, it's good.

- Could you sell it?

- Could I!

- How much could you sell?

- Oh, as much as
you could let me have.

- Say a ton?

- A ton?

- Just to begin with.

- Oh, blimey, where is it?

- Hidden in a disused quarry.

- Ah, black market, eh?

- No, no, no, no.

All above board but made
by a secret process.

- No questions asked.

- Exactly and no one must
be see us getting it away.

- When can we start?

- Tomorrow evening.

- Okay.

- Meet me at the entrance
to Green Lane at 6:00.

Shh.

- Here, you can't park out
there all day you know.

- Just coming, Inspector.

- He'll do it.

- Good oh.

- But we'll have to be careful.

Public enemy number one's
just been in the shop.

- Nosey Parker?

- Yes, I don't know if he
saw any of you come here

but he looked very suspicious.

- We've got a plan
to keep him away

from Green Lane tomorrow.

- Oh?

- What time will
Bill be at the quarry?

- 6:00.

- Okay, 6:00.

- Operation Dead of
Night will begin.

- Still smelling a rat, Parker?

- Old Nosey saw a lot of the
country in the next few weeks.

When we wanted to get a load
of Bang Corn from the quarry,

one of the gang would
decoy him miles away.

We did have fun and
business grew and grew.

Bill had to get a bigger lorry.

Miss Goslett bought a
supercharged motorcycle,

a real dirt track model.

- Open the bag,

get out the line.

Come on, come on, get it.

- Bang Corn,
lovely Bang Corn.

Get it right here, come on now.

- Got to step back.

You don't want corn.

Pass yourself back.

Don't let dried, don't
let dried all you children

and the best grown.

- Mm, this is super.

- 'Tisn't super,
it's ice creamer.

- This jelly slips down good.

- When are we going
to cut the cake?

- After we've drunk the toast.

- You don't drink
toast, you eat it.

- Toast, silly, not toast.

- Who's going to propose it?

Oh no, I provide the peaches,

you provide the speeches.

- Ladies and gents,
I give you a toast

to good old Miss G.

Good bless her.

- Good old Miss G.

- Thank you.

To us all and
Operation Bang Corn.

Tell me, Ernest, something
I've always wanted to know.

That first explosion in your
garden, was that atomic?

- Rather.

That was the very first
time we ever split the atom.

- Jolly
big bang, wasn't it?

- Scared the life out of me.

- Blowing up things didn't
seem to get us anywhere

so we decided to
make things instead.

- Pity everyone doesn't
think as you do.

- That's when we built
the new atomic pile.

- Oh, I wish I could
understand how it works.

- Tell her, Ernest.

- Ah, not too technical, Ernest.

Make it simple please.

- Well, I'm not much
good at explaining

but there's the plan of it.

- Hm, it's
very complicated.

- Oh, it's quite simple really

once you know that the atom

is the ultimate
particle of matter

and viewed with
gravity and motion.

The atomic theory

that elemental bodies consist

of different elements--
- Oh dear.

I think I shall have to
be content just to know

that we own a machine
that splits the atom

and makes Bang Corn.

- So I've rumbled your
little game at last.

Atom bombs, eh?

- Fen Parker, how dare
you break into my house.

- And you in this up to
your neck, Emily Goslett.

Here you are, I'll take that.

- Oh!

- Nice piece of
evidence that is.

Now I think better all come
along to the station with me

and do a bit of explaining.

- You can cut me out of this.

- Now it'll do no good
hiding under the table.

- We're going through with this.

This is going to be good.

You can't arrest us.

We ain't done nothing wrong.

- No?

- If you arrest
us, you'll be sorry.

Got any handcuffs?

- Course I have.

- Bet you haven't.

- I bet you I have.

- Show us then.

- There you are.

Now, now.
- 'Cause he's never

arrested nobody before and
he don't know how to do it.

This is how you do it, chum.

- Here, what do you

think you're doing?

Let go of me, let
go of me, unhand.

Now let go of me.

Emily Goslett, you're
gonna stand there?

- Are you ready?

- Poor old Parker.

He had to take us to
the police station

because he couldn't
get his handcuffs off.

He and my uncle were
very angry with us

but even they didn't realize
what they'd stirred up.

We'd hit on a simple little
thing like splitting the atom,

the smallest bang to
make atom that ever was.

And though all I could
think about was security

and secrecy and
their precious bombs.

Huh!

That's grownups for you.

They soon found out you
can lead a horse to water

but you can't make it speak.

They could've tortured me

but I wouldn't have said a word.

Huh, not me!

The first thing they
did was to telephone

the atomic research station
and hurry the plan off to them.

They didn't know where
our atomic plant was

but they knew enough to
set the ball rolling.

By golly did he roll.

When the news leaked out,

the children laughed
like anything.

But the grownups
were very upset.

Everyone was getting
quite angry by now

but still we wouldn't speak.

Then just as we looked
like coming out on top,

they played their trump card

and arrested the grownups.

They discovered our weak spot.

Funny, there's nothing
you can do about grownups.

First, Hans' dad
was marched off,

then Ernest as he
got off the train.

Came on like lambs they did.

Pretty feeble I thought.

Then we knew it was no use
holding out any longer.

- Your dad's old enough
and big enough, Prof.

Why don't he kid 'em
along like we do?

- No imagination, dumb.

Mind you, I won't have
anything said about my dad.

- Course not.

- He's the biggest brain
you've got down at Marwood.

He's the one that
proved Einstein's theory

that E equals MC squared.

But he's no good in a crisis.

- Nor is mine.

Starts to stammer and
forgets to speak English.

Next thing they'll think
is he's a foreign spy.

- No, we'll have to come clean,
that's all there is to it.

Grownups, huh!

They make you sick.

Now listen, everyone,

walla what willa we malla must

doodle woo illawist dillawist.

Gilla wive a dilla
wemonstration.

- But awhat willa where?

- Nalla wow.

- At Gilla wood,
the salla wank you.

- She knows it.

- She knows it?

- Ooh, goodness.

- They're willing to give
us a demonstration, sir.

- Jolly good work, Hopkins.

When?

- Rolla wight, nella wow.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

Right now, sir.

- Thalla wank you.

- Very interesting,
very interesting indeed

and undoubtedly atomic.

- Undoubtedly.

- But what's the explosive
agent you're using?

- This.

- Krakatoa?

Krakatoa.

But that was an island
that blew itself up

in the last century.

There's nothing left of it.

- Exactly.

The very last explosive
fragment is now disintegrating

in the atomic pilot
this very moment.

- So that was the end
of Operation Bang Corn.

The people from
the atomic station

thought it should be hushed up

and I persuaded the rest of
the gang they were right.

So everything in Barley
returned to normal.

Even PC Parker gave
up investigating.

Like everyone else he
know there wasn't a kick

left in the old machine.

We became great friends and he
used to drop in unexpectedly

from time to time.

That proves

I never exaggerate.

Honest, cross my heart.