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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:36,436 I've been called a witch, a slut, and a murderer. 2 00:00:48,115 --> 00:00:49,784 I've been hounded by the police 3 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,419 and slandered in the press. 4 00:00:57,291 --> 00:01:00,260 Maybe people confuse me with the characters 5 00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,563 I played in films. 6 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,542 Like I'm an empty sign 7 00:01:14,576 --> 00:01:17,512 on to which they project their fantasies 8 00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,247 and their shortcomings. 9 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,490 But I don't need to settle scores. 10 00:01:32,794 --> 00:01:34,829 I'm reclaiming my soul. 11 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,344 I write as a woman 12 00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,814 searching for another adventure. 13 00:02:04,659 --> 00:02:07,361 We're not a nostalgic family in any way. 14 00:02:10,832 --> 00:02:12,466 Yes, we had some great times, 15 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,736 and some were not that great. 16 00:02:15,737 --> 00:02:18,773 But we don't reminisce about those sort of times. 17 00:02:19,774 --> 00:02:21,609 It just wasn't in our nature. 18 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,379 My mother, especially, 19 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:28,616 is not someone who'd dwell in the past at all. 20 00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:30,885 Melancholy. 21 00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,387 Anita never suffered from that sort of thing 22 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,723 or at least never appeared outwardly. 23 00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:38,425 She was just like, "Yeah, well, that was that. Let's move on." 24 00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:42,964 So when she died, me and my children 25 00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:45,465 started going through documents and drawers 26 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,568 to try to find legal papers. 27 00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:51,606 And I was really shocked to find Anita's manuscript 28 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,474 right there perfectly typed in the box. 29 00:02:56,978 --> 00:02:58,345 Quite astonishing. 30 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:04,619 It was important that eventually she said something. 31 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:05,953 And that's what it is. 32 00:03:07,789 --> 00:03:10,892 Her intention was not to be a housewife 33 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,927 or the wife of anyone really. 34 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,195 Not even Keith's. 35 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,734 She had bigger balls than any of them did, probably, 36 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:20,935 in a lot of ways. 37 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:30,745 I mean, Anita, she was a unique piece of work. 38 00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,982 I mean, I've never quite figured it all out. 39 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,887 Basically, I was trying to keep up with her 40 00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:41,622 most of the time. 41 00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:45,459 And the most of the time, it was fun. 42 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,877 This isn't really an autobiography. 43 00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:10,484 It's more like memory images. 44 00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:15,422 A traveler's tale through a landscape 45 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:18,291 of dreams and shadows. 46 00:04:21,596 --> 00:04:24,832 I don't think the lawyers will like it very much. 47 00:04:39,914 --> 00:04:42,583 We had no secrets with each other. 48 00:04:43,084 --> 00:04:46,888 Anita and I, we had quite an intense friendship. 49 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,558 As soon as we saw each other, you know, 50 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,460 we rushed to each other and hugged each other. 51 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:58,866 And, for her, it was so easy and uncomplicated 52 00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,969 because it was kind of understood from the beginning, 53 00:05:02,003 --> 00:05:04,437 there's no sex between us. 54 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:10,343 So let's find a different kind of relationship. 55 00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,084 I was looking for an actress 56 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,654 that wouldn't look like an actress. 57 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:26,093 I asked a fashion photographer whether he knew anybody. 58 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,929 And he said, "Yes, I do." 59 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:32,099 "I just photographed her on the highest German mountain, 60 00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:33,534 the Zugspitze, 61 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:36,737 and she's absolutely incredible and wild." 62 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,041 Anita had vulnerability. 63 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,045 Even though she was like a tough cookie, 64 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:47,447 there was a really, like, an earnest quality 65 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,516 in her as well. 66 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,686 I thought if she remains 67 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,989 as natural as possible in front of the camera, 68 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,389 so much the better. 69 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:05,398 I was extremely close friends with Anita, 70 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,668 but I always wondered 71 00:06:07,702 --> 00:06:09,604 whether she had any family. 72 00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,940 I never really knew what was with her father, 73 00:06:12,974 --> 00:06:14,542 what was with her mother. 74 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,578 Did she have a sister or a brother? 75 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,114 She would never speak about it. 76 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,422 I was always a wild child, 77 00:07:02,657 --> 00:07:03,658 rebellious, 78 00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:06,127 causing my family problems. 79 00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:12,066 They said acting was for prostitutes. 80 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,969 That I'd dirtied the Pallenberg name. 81 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,941 My father was a classical musician. 82 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:25,478 My mother did everything she could to please him. 83 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:31,552 My great-grandfather was the painter Arnold Bocklin. 84 00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,524 Famous for his paintings of bestial satyrs 85 00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:38,659 and sleeping nymphs. 86 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,462 Bohemian aristocracy. 87 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,537 We lost everything during the war. 88 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,875 My earliest memories are hearing airplanes 89 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,110 dropping bombs. 90 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,216 I didn't learn to walk, 91 00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,652 I ran. 92 00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,794 We were moved around in cattle cars. 93 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:19,100 Sliding doors, chaos, heat. 94 00:08:26,207 --> 00:08:28,175 It affected me deeply. 95 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:37,018 The war in Rome, 96 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,253 it was a terrible period. 97 00:08:40,221 --> 00:08:43,224 So repressive in all senses. 98 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:48,963 And the situation at Anita's home was the same. 99 00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:52,800 The parents, they were old-fashioned. 100 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:54,702 Very conservative. 101 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,805 No hugging, no kissing, 102 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,208 no hotness of the heart. 103 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:05,212 And I think that Anita really couldn't stand it. 104 00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,114 It was not for her. 105 00:09:07,148 --> 00:09:08,816 She was done in a different way. 106 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:12,119 She wanted to be hugged, she wanted to have affection. 107 00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,588 She wanted to feel things. 108 00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:16,157 She loved to feel things. 109 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,796 Anita and I were going in the same school, 110 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,197 the German school. 111 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,266 We had nuns. 112 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:28,002 German nuns. Can you imagine? 113 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,805 Of course, you want to break the rules. 114 00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:34,175 And in the night, four, five, six of us going up 115 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:37,611 and trying to smoke cigarettes at 16, you know? 116 00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:38,946 And they got us. 117 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,152 We were the devils. 118 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:51,225 Anita was my teacher in everything. Always. 119 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,061 She loved Fats Domino. 120 00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:58,065 And she taught me how to do rock and roll 121 00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:00,701 with that one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. 122 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,269 And showing with the feet. 123 00:10:02,303 --> 00:10:04,105 Dancing and pulling and pushing. 124 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,774 ♪ She's my boogie woogie baby ♪ 125 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,310 She was my myth. I wanted to be her. 126 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:10,478 I want to be Anita. 127 00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:13,647 ♪ Boogie-woogie, baby Boogie all the time ♪ 128 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,850 She was a sparkle. 129 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,651 She was sparkling, you know? 130 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,653 Where she was walking, it was going tick, tick, 131 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:23,757 tick, tick of sparkles of the eyes she had. 132 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,694 The way she was looking. The smile she was having. 133 00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:27,995 The way she was moving. 134 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,730 The way she moves. 135 00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:31,899 This was Anita. 136 00:10:37,438 --> 00:10:41,942 America, because of the jeans, the music, the rock and roll, 137 00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:45,279 America, of course, it was the dreamland to go. 138 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,015 We really wanted to go to America. 139 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:49,083 All of us. 140 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:55,089 At 19, I escaped to New York. 141 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,460 I hardly spoke any English, 142 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:02,796 but when I got there, I had an awakening. 143 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:14,341 It was 1963, the year President Kennedy was shot. 144 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,783 With a few addresses in my pocket 145 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,152 and some Italian charm, 146 00:11:25,587 --> 00:11:27,454 I slid into the downtown scene. 147 00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:35,462 I washed Jasper Johns' brushes. 148 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,767 I met Andy Warhol 149 00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:41,769 and his rabbits. 150 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:50,010 At a party, Allen Ginsberg collected pubic hair 151 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:51,212 from famous people. 152 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:54,815 He didn't ask me. 153 00:11:59,554 --> 00:12:02,890 I loved the feeling of culture exploding. 154 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,827 Being in New York, 155 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,797 Anita and I were great friends 156 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,333 and hung out always together. 157 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,036 We were grooving along in our own scene. 158 00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:20,808 And she quickly became a very close friend. 159 00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:25,513 I came from this artistic family as well... 160 00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,115 ...so we had that in common. 161 00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:32,920 Anita had an amazing life force 162 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,523 an amazing joie de vivre, you know? 163 00:12:36,991 --> 00:12:39,426 She had a view about the arts, 164 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:42,196 about pop art, about a lot of things. 165 00:12:43,598 --> 00:12:47,268 And, I mean, who could look like Anita? 166 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,126 I was never a serious model. 167 00:13:13,595 --> 00:13:16,497 I hated the hairdresser, false eyelashes, 168 00:13:16,765 --> 00:13:18,132 and all that shit. 169 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,469 But modeling sent me all over the world. 170 00:13:23,538 --> 00:13:24,905 And it was in Munich 171 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,974 that I first met The Rolling Stones. 172 00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:29,977 It was 1965. 173 00:13:37,652 --> 00:13:40,020 ♪ I wanna Tell you something, baby ♪ 174 00:13:40,755 --> 00:13:43,123 Mick wasn't dancing in those days. 175 00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:46,060 He was still playing maracas. 176 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,265 Keith was really shy. 177 00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,072 ♪ 'Cause it's alright ♪ 178 00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,907 ♪ Yeah, it's alright ♪ 179 00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,609 The concert was wild. 180 00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,944 ♪ It's alright ♪ 181 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,913 Police had to push the audience back. 182 00:14:12,687 --> 00:14:15,189 Mick got so scared, he had to hide. 183 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,127 I loved every minute of it. 184 00:14:24,699 --> 00:14:26,934 It sounds ridiculous, I know, 185 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,937 but my friends dared me to kidnap one of them. 186 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,548 I got backstage 187 00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:42,950 and noticed Brian Jones right away. 188 00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:47,287 He was the most beautiful one in the group. 189 00:14:47,822 --> 00:14:50,224 And he had striking intelligence. 190 00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:54,395 I offered the band some hash and Brian said yes. 191 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,997 No need for kidnapping. 192 00:15:05,406 --> 00:15:07,107 We became inseparable. 193 00:15:09,410 --> 00:15:11,579 Everybody said we looked like twins. 194 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:19,654 Yeah, I believe that two people can fall in love very quickly. 195 00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,557 And I think they can find out about each other 196 00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:24,191 very quickly if they're in love. 197 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,060 My doppelganger. 198 00:15:27,562 --> 00:15:28,696 My Brian. 199 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,167 It was time to leave New York. 200 00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,174 When we moved in together, 201 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:43,645 our flat in London became a crash pad for everybody. 202 00:15:52,587 --> 00:15:54,622 Brian had got this apartment 203 00:15:54,889 --> 00:15:58,192 with his new girlfriend, Anita. 204 00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:03,698 Anita was, even to us, 205 00:16:03,731 --> 00:16:07,134 who've been around. She was incredibly intriguing. 206 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,137 It was difficult to put into words. 207 00:16:10,939 --> 00:16:14,742 Her knowledge of things was just fantastic, you know? 208 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:20,247 I found myself going round to Brian's more and more, 209 00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:25,486 and not to see Brian, of course, but to see Anita. 210 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:33,628 The flat was an incredible mess. 211 00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:36,296 They never decorated it. 212 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,503 I don't know what we all found so fascinating. 213 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:44,706 I think it must have been Anita. 214 00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:52,012 She really brought something to The Stones. 215 00:16:53,748 --> 00:16:55,583 She was only 23 216 00:16:56,751 --> 00:16:58,620 but I was only 18. 217 00:17:03,791 --> 00:17:07,494 ♪ He walks along Singing his fairy song ♪ 218 00:17:07,529 --> 00:17:09,797 ♪ Picking up magic That grows at his feet ♪ 219 00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,365 I was making music. 220 00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,601 And I was acting. 221 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,238 And I fell in love with Mick. 222 00:17:19,574 --> 00:17:23,778 But neither Anita nor I wanted to be with them 223 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,413 because we wanted some of their power. 224 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,118 We had our own power. 225 00:17:38,826 --> 00:17:41,295 You know, Anita broke through 226 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,430 a sort of very sexist time. 227 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:50,470 And she demanded that people follow on her terms 228 00:17:50,505 --> 00:17:53,240 rather than on anybody else's terms. 229 00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:57,545 And her influence was a tremendous one, 230 00:17:58,513 --> 00:18:01,549 especially on Brian. 231 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:06,821 You know, she got him far more sophisticated than he was. 232 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:14,662 By then, I was in London, playing in a pop band. 233 00:18:15,563 --> 00:18:19,299 I was part of the whole Rolling Stones scene, 234 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:24,839 and that's when the psychedelics come in, 235 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,207 where suddenly there's this 236 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,344 whole other dimension that opened up. 237 00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:45,827 We started doing acid and I stopped modeling. 238 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:51,164 You couldn't do both, and I loved acid. 239 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:17,324 But things got a little spooky 240 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,426 when Brian started to have bad trips. 241 00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:24,431 He saw monsters falling out of the cupboards 242 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,933 and enemies everywhere. 243 00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:36,243 He had terrible asthma 244 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,345 and he started taking amphetamines. 245 00:19:38,713 --> 00:19:43,518 STP, Mandrax, barbiturates, Dexedrine, 246 00:19:44,619 --> 00:19:46,521 all prescription fucking shit. 247 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,258 We are in the swimming pool of a motel 248 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,895 which happened to be by the roadside and... 249 00:19:53,928 --> 00:19:55,830 He started to become aggressive. 250 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:59,734 Some typical Georgia idiot, you know? 251 00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:02,770 And Georgia is full of idiots. 252 00:20:02,804 --> 00:20:04,505 Anything that you'd like to say right now 253 00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,440 - before the camera rolls out? - Goodbye. 254 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,909 - Goodbye. - Goodbye. 255 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:12,613 His sudden rages scared me. 256 00:20:13,815 --> 00:20:15,883 I had to learn to stand my ground. 257 00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:21,288 He would hit her. 258 00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:24,391 It was really awful. 259 00:20:25,993 --> 00:20:27,962 And Anita fought back. 260 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:31,364 She would just punch him straight back 261 00:20:31,566 --> 00:20:33,433 and really hurt Brian, 262 00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,235 'cause he was quite weedy. 263 00:20:38,673 --> 00:20:41,241 Brian was very weak, you know? 264 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,579 That's why he was so cruel and 265 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:46,547 physically violent, I think. 266 00:20:48,983 --> 00:20:51,018 But she never complained, no. 267 00:20:51,619 --> 00:20:53,386 She just got on with it. 268 00:21:00,494 --> 00:21:02,563 When I was sent my first film script, 269 00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:05,499 he was so jealous he ripped it up. 270 00:21:08,536 --> 00:21:09,871 I did it anyway. 271 00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,611 I'd read in a newspaper 272 00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:19,279 an article about a prostitute 273 00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:23,017 who, in a brawl, had killed her pimp... 274 00:21:35,630 --> 00:21:37,899 ...and felt no guilt about it, 275 00:21:41,502 --> 00:21:43,638 so she hired two guys. 276 00:21:46,574 --> 00:21:48,042 The three of them drive 277 00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:50,711 to the countryside to dispose of the corpse. 278 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,983 But they have such a good time 279 00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:56,717 in the countryside 280 00:21:57,051 --> 00:21:58,886 that they forget about the guy in the trunk. 281 00:22:15,069 --> 00:22:16,604 On the windshield, 282 00:22:16,637 --> 00:22:18,539 we had written on a little paper, 283 00:22:18,573 --> 00:22:20,641 "Fuck the message." 284 00:22:20,675 --> 00:22:22,944 Meaning this movie has no meaning. 285 00:22:25,646 --> 00:22:28,448 I was very surprised when one day, 286 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,417 she showed up with Brian Jones 287 00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:33,321 in the small town of Munich, a Stone. 288 00:22:34,956 --> 00:22:37,859 It was obvious that Brian was very much 289 00:22:37,892 --> 00:22:40,493 depending on her affection. 290 00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:42,830 He was very insecure. 291 00:22:44,832 --> 00:22:47,668 Anita told me that 292 00:22:49,036 --> 00:22:51,706 Brian would like to do the music for the film. 293 00:22:51,739 --> 00:22:53,674 Of course, I said yes. 294 00:22:54,275 --> 00:22:56,777 If you are offered a Rolling Stone 295 00:22:56,811 --> 00:22:59,614 to score your movie, in those days, 296 00:22:59,647 --> 00:23:02,550 I mean, you triple the value of your film. 297 00:23:04,952 --> 00:23:08,589 At first, he was very, very serious about it 298 00:23:08,823 --> 00:23:10,825 and he had wonderful ideas. 299 00:23:12,693 --> 00:23:14,629 But two months later, 300 00:23:14,662 --> 00:23:16,797 we could hardly get him to the studio. 301 00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:22,036 He had somehow lost it. 302 00:23:24,005 --> 00:23:25,673 Keith was there, 303 00:23:25,706 --> 00:23:27,675 but probably to play the guitar, 304 00:23:27,909 --> 00:23:31,946 and he saw how everything was going down the drain. 305 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,216 He started to give a hand 306 00:23:35,249 --> 00:23:38,451 and more and more took over. 307 00:23:40,788 --> 00:23:44,959 Things have been running a little fray in the band, 308 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:49,964 so I thought I'd sort of mend fences with Brian. 309 00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:54,135 And at the same time, I have to admit, 310 00:23:54,168 --> 00:23:56,570 I found Anita fascinating. 311 00:23:58,272 --> 00:24:00,574 There's that thing across the room, you know? 312 00:24:00,608 --> 00:24:03,611 The elephant in the room. Hmm. 313 00:24:06,981 --> 00:24:09,750 At that time, the band, to me, was, uh... 314 00:24:09,784 --> 00:24:11,052 It was my baby. 315 00:24:13,087 --> 00:24:16,489 So, you know, it's a very delicate situation. 316 00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:27,868 When Keith was there, Brian wouldn't hit me. 317 00:24:29,570 --> 00:24:31,072 So thank God for Keith. 318 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,743 Looking after Brian became so difficult, 319 00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:37,745 I ended up downing vodka and... 320 00:24:38,045 --> 00:24:39,814 God knows what else every night. 321 00:24:49,023 --> 00:24:50,524 Trouble was coming. 322 00:24:52,193 --> 00:24:55,262 Brian swallowed drugs in front of a reporter 323 00:24:55,563 --> 00:24:57,565 and set off a wave of busts. 324 00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:02,803 A national newspaper had tipped off the police 325 00:25:02,837 --> 00:25:04,171 that it would be worth their while 326 00:25:04,205 --> 00:25:05,406 to raid Richards' home for drugs. 327 00:25:05,439 --> 00:25:09,577 Jones admitted that he'd allowed his flat in Courtfield Road 328 00:25:09,610 --> 00:25:10,978 to be used for drug taking. 329 00:25:11,012 --> 00:25:12,313 The jury have had to decide 330 00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,148 did Keith Richard know of the LSD, 331 00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:16,017 which police found in his jacket pocket. 332 00:25:17,718 --> 00:25:20,254 I got busted with Mick in my house. 333 00:25:21,288 --> 00:25:22,757 It was an acid trip. 334 00:25:22,790 --> 00:25:24,825 I mean, we were all just coming down. 335 00:25:24,859 --> 00:25:27,028 There's a knock at the door. 336 00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:29,797 It was the law. 337 00:25:31,932 --> 00:25:35,836 So we've been busted, and now we're out on bail. 338 00:25:35,870 --> 00:25:36,737 And, uh... 339 00:25:37,071 --> 00:25:44,111 run away was our first, you know, manly response. 340 00:25:44,145 --> 00:25:48,249 So that was-- Let's run away just for a bit, 341 00:25:48,282 --> 00:25:50,918 until we have to turn up in court, you know. 342 00:25:52,386 --> 00:25:54,155 So we arranged this trip. 343 00:25:54,688 --> 00:25:56,323 "Let's go to Morocco." 344 00:26:01,962 --> 00:26:06,634 I end up in my car with Anita and Brian. 345 00:26:11,238 --> 00:26:14,375 It has gone from an apartment 346 00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:19,246 to this very intense car ride. 347 00:26:25,786 --> 00:26:27,054 We stopped in Paris. 348 00:26:27,088 --> 00:26:29,757 Got incredibly stoned for a couple of days. 349 00:26:32,393 --> 00:26:34,829 But our aim is to get to Tangier. 350 00:26:36,764 --> 00:26:37,998 And then one day, 351 00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:42,136 Brian falls incredibly ill. 352 00:26:44,205 --> 00:26:45,973 He was very asthmatic 353 00:26:46,006 --> 00:26:47,842 but I don't think it was asthma. 354 00:26:48,042 --> 00:26:51,178 Brian, sometimes, he takes so much shit 355 00:26:51,212 --> 00:26:55,349 that he just needed to be revamped a few days 356 00:26:55,382 --> 00:26:56,717 in machinery. 357 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,755 And the decision was to leave him there. 358 00:27:05,426 --> 00:27:09,396 I presumed that Anita would stay with Brian, 359 00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:15,002 so I was very surprised the next day 360 00:27:15,035 --> 00:27:17,771 when Anita's going, "Let's go." 361 00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:24,111 And now there were two. 362 00:27:31,285 --> 00:27:33,988 At first, I felt bad leaving Brian behind. 363 00:27:35,356 --> 00:27:38,125 But then it was a relief. 364 00:27:41,095 --> 00:27:42,796 I knew my way around Europe. 365 00:27:43,030 --> 00:27:44,665 I felt more in control. 366 00:27:52,373 --> 00:27:56,177 Keith and I smoked hash, big spliffs and poppers. 367 00:27:58,513 --> 00:28:00,447 And we played songs, 368 00:28:00,848 --> 00:28:03,984 a secretive communication with records. 369 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,695 I couldn't hide it. 370 00:28:15,396 --> 00:28:20,167 I found him very attractive, very sexy. 371 00:28:35,983 --> 00:28:38,919 My night with Keith was a revelation, 372 00:28:39,787 --> 00:28:42,790 to have someone loving and tender. 373 00:28:45,426 --> 00:28:48,996 He'd look at me and I'd melt inside. 374 00:28:57,338 --> 00:29:00,107 The next day, we tried to pretend it didn't happen. 375 00:29:02,042 --> 00:29:03,877 We had to be really careful. 376 00:29:04,311 --> 00:29:07,214 If Brian found out, he would kill us. 377 00:29:22,263 --> 00:29:25,132 Suddenly, Anita, from just being 378 00:29:25,165 --> 00:29:26,867 this... I don't know. 379 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:30,572 To me, at the time, a very confusing situation, 380 00:29:30,605 --> 00:29:32,106 made everything clear. 381 00:29:35,409 --> 00:29:37,945 I was bursting in love with Anita. 382 00:29:41,949 --> 00:29:43,484 Her independence, 383 00:29:43,784 --> 00:29:47,354 her absolute determination to be 384 00:29:47,589 --> 00:29:49,390 whatever you'd so-call "free." 385 00:29:53,494 --> 00:29:55,929 It bewildered me to start with. 386 00:29:56,897 --> 00:29:58,533 And then I started to realize 387 00:29:58,566 --> 00:30:02,236 that both of us were these war babies, you see? 388 00:30:04,305 --> 00:30:08,842 The war permeated your whole upbringing. 389 00:30:13,113 --> 00:30:16,183 Anita just wanted to fucking kick it all over. 390 00:30:24,659 --> 00:30:27,227 But then by the time we got to Marrakesh, 391 00:30:27,529 --> 00:30:29,597 Brian has rejoined us. 392 00:30:31,065 --> 00:30:33,233 Now it's getting complicated. 393 00:30:37,071 --> 00:30:39,106 Brian didn't finish his treatment. 394 00:30:41,942 --> 00:30:43,310 Everyone was on edge. 395 00:30:47,014 --> 00:30:49,049 That night, he picked up two prostitutes 396 00:30:49,083 --> 00:30:50,451 and told me to join in. 397 00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:53,420 I refused. 398 00:30:56,624 --> 00:30:59,527 He ordered room service and started throwing it at me. 399 00:31:01,495 --> 00:31:04,398 Silver, cutlery, glasses. 400 00:31:05,399 --> 00:31:06,900 I was terrified. 401 00:31:11,238 --> 00:31:12,940 And that's when Keith arrived. 402 00:31:15,710 --> 00:31:18,613 He said, "We can't go on like this." 403 00:31:20,447 --> 00:31:21,549 "Let's split." 404 00:31:27,221 --> 00:31:29,423 I can remember our trip back to London. 405 00:31:32,126 --> 00:31:33,661 It wasn't a lover's escape. 406 00:31:38,733 --> 00:31:40,100 I was a wreck. 407 00:31:43,170 --> 00:31:44,672 We just abandoned Brian. 408 00:31:46,173 --> 00:31:47,609 We left without telling him. 409 00:31:49,143 --> 00:31:51,445 But I couldn't take it anymore. 410 00:32:18,238 --> 00:32:20,007 When the picture was finished, 411 00:32:20,407 --> 00:32:23,678 we had the premier at the Cannes Film Festival. 412 00:32:24,344 --> 00:32:27,981 Yeah. 413 00:32:32,687 --> 00:32:36,256 reporter 2: 414 00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:49,604 At first, Anita was camera shy. 415 00:32:50,204 --> 00:32:52,574 And then quite the opposite. 416 00:32:52,774 --> 00:32:54,742 She loved it. 417 00:33:00,180 --> 00:33:02,617 She did all kind of clowning 418 00:33:02,650 --> 00:33:04,351 for the photographers 419 00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:06,721 and enjoyed the whole circus. 420 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,096 To walk down the red carpet and all the glamour, 421 00:33:16,129 --> 00:33:17,599 it was fantastic. 422 00:33:19,132 --> 00:33:21,536 There was all of the entourage. 423 00:33:22,704 --> 00:33:24,404 Keith, Stash, 424 00:33:25,573 --> 00:33:27,241 a whole bunch of people, 425 00:33:27,274 --> 00:33:30,377 all dressed in the most extravagant ways. 426 00:33:30,778 --> 00:33:32,514 Say something. Say something groovy. 427 00:33:32,547 --> 00:33:35,315 - Say something groovy. - Wow. 428 00:33:35,349 --> 00:33:37,084 - Oh, wow. - Oh, wow. 429 00:33:38,051 --> 00:33:43,156 But also, of course, as the composer of the movie, 430 00:33:43,423 --> 00:33:45,192 Brian was there. 431 00:33:48,663 --> 00:33:51,164 I found myself in this position 432 00:33:51,198 --> 00:33:53,467 of having to go to Cannes with Brian, 433 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:55,235 who otherwise wouldn't go. 434 00:33:55,737 --> 00:34:00,040 Brian had an unspoken mission to get Anita back. 435 00:34:01,174 --> 00:34:03,143 He was very contrite. 436 00:34:03,578 --> 00:34:08,181 He realized that he did absolutely everything wrong 437 00:34:08,215 --> 00:34:10,685 during the Morocco incident. 438 00:34:12,152 --> 00:34:14,656 Anita was very kind. 439 00:34:14,689 --> 00:34:17,090 And, you know, she could have hardened 440 00:34:17,124 --> 00:34:19,126 and said, "I refuse to see you." 441 00:34:19,694 --> 00:34:22,162 She was very tender. 442 00:34:29,804 --> 00:34:31,371 After the premier, 443 00:34:31,573 --> 00:34:34,609 we had a wild night of celebration. 444 00:34:36,678 --> 00:34:40,648 Everybody got stone drunk and stoned otherwise 445 00:34:40,682 --> 00:34:43,450 and falling all over each other. 446 00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:49,122 She was the queen of the group, and that, she enjoyed. 447 00:34:53,027 --> 00:34:55,530 The day after, late in the morning, 448 00:34:55,863 --> 00:34:59,466 I come into Anita's room in the hotel, 449 00:34:59,734 --> 00:35:02,269 and there was Keith having breakfast in bed. 450 00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:06,440 All I went was, "Uh-uh." 451 00:35:09,811 --> 00:35:14,481 I never really understood quite what she saw in me. 452 00:35:18,318 --> 00:35:19,687 For some reason, 453 00:35:19,721 --> 00:35:21,656 she found me as mysterious 454 00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:23,725 and as attractive as I found her, 455 00:35:26,628 --> 00:35:28,295 which is just incredible. 456 00:35:49,483 --> 00:35:51,251 It was a different kind of love 457 00:35:51,284 --> 00:35:52,687 than I was used to 458 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:55,322 and it was a good time in my life. 459 00:35:59,694 --> 00:36:01,395 Keith was still shy. 460 00:36:01,428 --> 00:36:02,697 That's just his nature. 461 00:36:05,365 --> 00:36:08,235 I brought him out with my Italian energy. 462 00:36:12,874 --> 00:36:15,342 Back then, he looked like a lion, 463 00:36:15,576 --> 00:36:18,278 all natural and never more cool. 464 00:36:23,551 --> 00:36:25,352 I was considered, for a while, 465 00:36:25,385 --> 00:36:28,488 to be like the best dressed man in the world. 466 00:36:28,523 --> 00:36:31,726 It was because I was wearing Anita's clothes. 467 00:36:32,794 --> 00:36:34,829 She had an amazing eye. 468 00:36:36,463 --> 00:36:38,465 She was the leader in fashion. 469 00:36:39,167 --> 00:36:42,904 Since Keith went with Anita, he changed the way of dressing. 470 00:36:43,403 --> 00:36:45,873 It really changed. Fantastic. 471 00:36:46,107 --> 00:36:47,942 You see Anita on Keith. 472 00:36:53,648 --> 00:36:56,349 Anita is a charger. She really charges you. 473 00:37:00,655 --> 00:37:01,889 When I think about it, 474 00:37:01,923 --> 00:37:04,324 in those early days, it was fun. 475 00:37:06,994 --> 00:37:08,763 The Stones would play a town. 476 00:37:08,796 --> 00:37:10,497 Then I'd fly to meet them. 477 00:37:10,898 --> 00:37:12,466 Then I'd fly home again. 478 00:37:17,004 --> 00:37:20,675 You know, Brian always carried a torch for Anita 479 00:37:20,942 --> 00:37:23,010 long after it was 480 00:37:23,044 --> 00:37:25,580 proven that they couldn't get back together. 481 00:37:28,750 --> 00:37:30,417 But I think by then, 482 00:37:30,818 --> 00:37:34,889 Keith was much more confident of his relationship with her. 483 00:37:40,393 --> 00:37:44,832 Don't you find respectable people terribly dull? 484 00:37:44,866 --> 00:37:46,366 You're joking, aren't you? 485 00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:48,770 I've only known the most respectable people. 486 00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:50,337 Oh. 487 00:37:51,506 --> 00:37:53,373 My career was taking off. 488 00:37:53,841 --> 00:37:57,410 I was consumed by Marlene Dietrich, Fritz Lang, 489 00:37:57,645 --> 00:37:58,846 and all the classics. 490 00:37:59,914 --> 00:38:01,048 This is Krankeit, 491 00:38:01,082 --> 00:38:03,017 I want you now. Come. 492 00:38:05,553 --> 00:38:06,921 He wants me. 493 00:38:07,522 --> 00:38:09,456 I was working a lot. 494 00:38:10,357 --> 00:38:12,359 Mostly in European films. 495 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,328 Pretty avant-garde movie-making. 496 00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:17,698 The doctor says no touching. 497 00:38:18,498 --> 00:38:19,567 Disappointed? 498 00:38:22,069 --> 00:38:24,772 She was a very talented actress. 499 00:38:27,008 --> 00:38:29,944 She had a great career ahead of her. 500 00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:37,718 Hello, pretty, pretty. 501 00:38:40,988 --> 00:38:42,023 Hello. 502 00:38:42,857 --> 00:38:45,693 I played a tyrant in Barbarella. 503 00:38:46,027 --> 00:38:47,929 My idea of a quiet summer. 504 00:38:48,296 --> 00:38:50,531 Do you want to come and play with me? 505 00:38:51,966 --> 00:38:54,467 For someone like you, I'd charge nothing. 506 00:38:55,603 --> 00:38:57,805 You're very pretty, pretty, pretty. 507 00:38:58,506 --> 00:39:01,008 My name isn't Pretty, Pretty. It's Barbarella. 508 00:39:05,646 --> 00:39:06,747 Start. 509 00:39:07,715 --> 00:39:10,017 I was on the set once or twice. 510 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,556 Jane Fonda was the exact opposite of Anita. 511 00:39:16,524 --> 00:39:20,761 Both incredibly good-looking with personality 512 00:39:21,461 --> 00:39:26,067 but Jane Fonda, a hard worker, very driven. 513 00:39:26,734 --> 00:39:28,936 And Anita just laid-back, 514 00:39:29,237 --> 00:39:32,640 but since she was intelligent, she got away with it. 515 00:39:33,741 --> 00:39:36,644 Tell me, my fancy, fuzzy freak. 516 00:39:37,345 --> 00:39:40,915 What do think of when you make love to Barbarella? 517 00:39:44,952 --> 00:39:47,121 Anita, in those costumes, 518 00:39:47,154 --> 00:39:49,824 she completely forgot herself. 519 00:39:50,224 --> 00:39:52,860 So I'm your little one-eyed wench. 520 00:39:53,995 --> 00:39:56,597 I'm also The Great Tyrant. 521 00:39:57,497 --> 00:39:58,599 That's nice. 522 00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,068 So she became very imperious. 523 00:40:01,102 --> 00:40:04,505 I'm not talking about him. I'm speaking of the angel. 524 00:40:04,939 --> 00:40:07,008 I suppose it was method acting. 525 00:40:07,575 --> 00:40:10,711 She really believed she was the Black Queen. 526 00:40:12,813 --> 00:40:15,182 I would fear for anybody that crossed her. 527 00:40:17,818 --> 00:40:19,020 I remember once, 528 00:40:19,353 --> 00:40:22,056 I happened to say, "Oh, that's nice." 529 00:40:22,623 --> 00:40:25,960 And she turned on me, "Nice?" 530 00:40:26,193 --> 00:40:29,163 "Nice? I hate the word nice." 531 00:40:40,808 --> 00:40:46,180 photographer: 532 00:40:50,584 --> 00:40:52,687 People started treating me like a star 533 00:40:53,054 --> 00:40:54,655 and I kind of loved it. 534 00:40:56,223 --> 00:40:57,925 But whatever fame I had, 535 00:40:58,225 --> 00:41:00,695 it was nothing compared to The Stones. 536 00:41:22,817 --> 00:41:24,719 I was producing the film 537 00:41:24,752 --> 00:41:26,053 for Warner Bros 538 00:41:26,253 --> 00:41:27,855 called Performance. 539 00:41:28,823 --> 00:41:30,658 Very unusual movie. 540 00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,828 That's how I met Anita. 541 00:41:35,029 --> 00:41:37,264 She was always gonna be in the film. 542 00:41:37,698 --> 00:41:39,967 It was written for her. 543 00:41:40,768 --> 00:41:44,939 She had a very kind of incisive and biting sense of humor. 544 00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:47,942 She got right to the point, you know? 545 00:41:47,975 --> 00:41:49,977 Who are you? What do you want? 546 00:41:56,283 --> 00:41:59,920 The script was very decadent, very sexy. 547 00:42:01,722 --> 00:42:03,958 When I heard Mick was going to join the cast, 548 00:42:04,225 --> 00:42:05,559 I was wary. 549 00:42:06,127 --> 00:42:08,863 It all felt a little too close. 550 00:42:15,936 --> 00:42:17,571 Mick's character 551 00:42:17,838 --> 00:42:20,674 is a retired rock and roll musician. 552 00:42:21,709 --> 00:42:23,010 He is a recluse, 553 00:42:23,344 --> 00:42:27,715 living in a kind of ramshackle home in Notting Hill. 554 00:42:28,382 --> 00:42:30,851 He's got his two girlfriends there, 555 00:42:31,052 --> 00:42:33,754 sort of ministering to his needs. 556 00:42:34,188 --> 00:42:35,923 Do you think I should wash my hair? 557 00:42:36,857 --> 00:42:38,192 Uh-uh. No. 558 00:42:38,559 --> 00:42:41,829 They're very happy together as a family. 559 00:42:43,397 --> 00:42:46,734 They don't want the outside world to come in. 560 00:42:50,237 --> 00:42:52,139 That is what happens, of course, 561 00:42:52,339 --> 00:42:54,909 when James Fox arrives in the house. 562 00:42:55,510 --> 00:42:57,244 He is the outside world. 563 00:42:57,711 --> 00:42:59,747 Oh, very nice. 564 00:43:01,982 --> 00:43:03,150 And that sets up 565 00:43:03,184 --> 00:43:06,387 this very powerful strange relationship 566 00:43:06,420 --> 00:43:08,189 between the characters in the house. 567 00:43:10,157 --> 00:43:11,392 What's wrong with the lights? 568 00:43:11,425 --> 00:43:14,795 Yeah. Artificial energy. 569 00:43:15,096 --> 00:43:17,164 It's pulsating into the voltage. 570 00:43:17,932 --> 00:43:19,967 Drugs were the ultimate rebellion. 571 00:43:20,267 --> 00:43:22,103 And they were everywhere on set. 572 00:43:22,770 --> 00:43:26,073 Not just the old hippy variety of hashish and acid. 573 00:43:27,408 --> 00:43:30,044 We were doing cocaine and heroin. 574 00:43:34,181 --> 00:43:36,150 James Fox was a professional actor 575 00:43:36,183 --> 00:43:38,119 and we were intimidated by him. 576 00:43:40,688 --> 00:43:42,189 You know where I'm going, pal? 577 00:43:45,726 --> 00:43:46,760 I do. 578 00:43:49,697 --> 00:43:51,899 Like children, we teased him. 579 00:43:54,001 --> 00:43:56,070 You never had a female feel. 580 00:43:57,304 --> 00:43:58,772 No. Never. 581 00:43:59,173 --> 00:44:00,341 I feel like a man. 582 00:44:01,175 --> 00:44:02,676 A man all the time. 583 00:44:03,344 --> 00:44:04,778 That's awful. 584 00:44:05,045 --> 00:44:06,380 He almost flipped out. 585 00:44:06,413 --> 00:44:08,082 There's nothing wrong with me. 586 00:44:09,183 --> 00:44:10,417 I'm normal. 587 00:44:11,318 --> 00:44:14,255 That brought Mick and I closer together. 588 00:44:14,455 --> 00:44:17,224 Uh, can I use the blower up here? 589 00:44:17,691 --> 00:44:19,393 We ain't got a blower up here. 590 00:44:21,662 --> 00:44:24,765 What in God's name has he done to his hair? 591 00:44:25,699 --> 00:44:28,836 We've seen it. We caught it in Hamburg. Your act. 592 00:44:28,869 --> 00:44:30,204 - Oh, yeah. - It was fascinating. 593 00:44:30,237 --> 00:44:32,306 Mick had never done a movie before 594 00:44:32,339 --> 00:44:34,074 and he liked my confidence. 595 00:44:34,975 --> 00:44:37,178 We were spending more time together, 596 00:44:37,478 --> 00:44:38,913 me and Mick. 597 00:44:39,514 --> 00:44:40,781 Yes, no? 598 00:44:41,048 --> 00:44:42,116 Yes, no. 599 00:44:55,930 --> 00:44:57,031 The funny thing is, 600 00:44:57,064 --> 00:44:58,966 I never really fancied Mick at all, 601 00:45:00,801 --> 00:45:04,038 but you spend eight days lying in bed together, 602 00:45:04,071 --> 00:45:07,942 giggling and taking dope just to produce two minutes of film, 603 00:45:08,677 --> 00:45:10,311 and what the hell do you expect? 604 00:45:15,316 --> 00:45:16,984 Performance was replicating 605 00:45:17,017 --> 00:45:18,385 the feeling of that time. 606 00:45:19,554 --> 00:45:22,356 Sex was something much more casual. 607 00:45:23,190 --> 00:45:26,760 Something that you did without any commitment. 608 00:45:30,297 --> 00:45:36,070 All of us could see Mick had fallen in love with Anita. 609 00:45:38,005 --> 00:45:41,842 He hadn't declared it but it was so obvious. 610 00:45:46,914 --> 00:45:47,982 Salud. 611 00:45:52,219 --> 00:45:56,924 When Anita and Mick did Performance, 612 00:45:57,258 --> 00:45:59,860 I knew I had to leave town. 613 00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:02,530 I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. 614 00:46:05,165 --> 00:46:07,935 I know Keith had a very difficult time. 615 00:46:14,074 --> 00:46:16,877 Well, I'm making this while he's making that. 616 00:46:21,882 --> 00:46:23,551 It upset him terribly. 617 00:46:27,321 --> 00:46:31,358 He filmed himself on the outside looking in 618 00:46:31,593 --> 00:46:34,529 at the most important people in his life. 619 00:46:41,168 --> 00:46:43,270 It was very difficult for him. 620 00:46:45,472 --> 00:46:50,010 How Keith responds is he writes "Gimme Shelter." 621 00:46:52,012 --> 00:46:55,215 ♪ Ooh, a storm is threatening ♪ 622 00:46:55,717 --> 00:46:59,053 ♪ My very life today ♪ 623 00:46:59,788 --> 00:47:03,390 ♪ If I don't get some shelter ♪ 624 00:47:04,124 --> 00:47:07,027 ♪ Ooh yeah, I'm gonna fade away ♪ 625 00:47:08,095 --> 00:47:11,098 ♪ War, children ♪ 626 00:47:11,700 --> 00:47:13,500 ♪ It's just a shot away ♪ 627 00:47:13,834 --> 00:47:15,903 ♪ It's just a shot away ♪ 628 00:47:16,103 --> 00:47:18,972 ♪ War, children ♪ 629 00:47:19,973 --> 00:47:21,543 ♪ It's just a shot away ♪ 630 00:47:21,776 --> 00:47:25,245 ♪ It's just a shot away ♪ 631 00:47:27,948 --> 00:47:29,350 Keith never spoke about it. 632 00:47:30,585 --> 00:47:32,152 He just stayed silent. 633 00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:35,489 The most unnerving reaction of all. 634 00:47:37,525 --> 00:47:39,893 I was relieved when the film ended. 635 00:47:40,861 --> 00:47:44,164 I never felt Mick's charm the way other women did. 636 00:47:45,165 --> 00:47:48,469 In any case, all we ever talked about was Keith. 637 00:48:01,982 --> 00:48:04,918 We were never peace and love kind of people. 638 00:48:06,420 --> 00:48:08,455 But we wanted to reassure each other 639 00:48:08,489 --> 00:48:10,424 that everything was okay. 640 00:48:10,991 --> 00:48:13,528 So we decided to take a trip together. 641 00:48:13,828 --> 00:48:16,463 Mick, Marianne, Keith, and I. 642 00:48:21,969 --> 00:48:23,971 Crossing the Atlantic on a freighter, 643 00:48:24,271 --> 00:48:26,407 we must have seemed pretty eccentric 644 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,008 to the people on the ship. 645 00:48:39,687 --> 00:48:43,090 We had great outfits for strolling down the decks. 646 00:48:49,597 --> 00:48:53,635 Beautiful Marianne was always dressed top to toe. 647 00:48:54,334 --> 00:48:59,574 Long gloves, hat, she was like a Tennessee Williams character. 648 00:49:08,449 --> 00:49:10,984 And I was pregnant. 649 00:49:17,458 --> 00:49:20,562 The last thing I expected from this relationship 650 00:49:20,595 --> 00:49:22,463 at that point was 651 00:49:22,496 --> 00:49:25,600 that she actually wanted to have a child. 652 00:49:28,803 --> 00:49:33,474 I was flattered but at the same time, I thought 653 00:49:33,741 --> 00:49:37,277 "This is gonna be a whole new chapter, you know?" 654 00:49:39,714 --> 00:49:41,716 And I said, "Are you sure about this?" 655 00:49:42,483 --> 00:49:45,520 And she said, "Absolutely. Absolutely." 656 00:49:45,887 --> 00:49:49,557 "If I'm gonna have a baby, I want you to be the father." 657 00:49:50,692 --> 00:49:54,461 And I said, "Okay. Then we're in for it. Let's go." 658 00:50:02,169 --> 00:50:05,038 I knew it was time to get off the hard drugs. 659 00:50:06,473 --> 00:50:08,743 To help, I got a shot of morphine 660 00:50:08,776 --> 00:50:09,577 from the ship's nurse. 661 00:50:11,713 --> 00:50:14,014 ♪ Here I lie ♪ 662 00:50:14,849 --> 00:50:19,253 ♪ In my hospital bed ♪ 663 00:50:22,322 --> 00:50:25,793 ♪ Tell me, Sister Morphine ♪ 664 00:50:26,594 --> 00:50:31,766 ♪ When are you Coming round again? ♪ 665 00:50:33,367 --> 00:50:34,167 ♪ Oh... ♪ 666 00:50:34,802 --> 00:50:38,606 I thought of her as Sister Morphine for the song. 667 00:50:39,206 --> 00:50:41,609 I made her into Sister Morphine. 668 00:50:41,643 --> 00:50:46,079 I had to visualize it to really write it, you know? 669 00:50:46,113 --> 00:50:47,682 ♪ Oh, you see ♪ 670 00:50:48,415 --> 00:50:54,354 ♪ That my pain is so strong ♪ 671 00:50:54,956 --> 00:50:58,458 Between Marianne and I, there was love. 672 00:51:00,895 --> 00:51:03,798 But her relationship with Mick wasn't working anymore. 673 00:51:10,805 --> 00:51:12,607 When we arrived in Brazil, 674 00:51:12,874 --> 00:51:16,476 Marianne didn't like the heat or the mosquitoes. 675 00:51:17,645 --> 00:51:18,813 She decided to go home. 676 00:51:21,916 --> 00:51:24,351 You know, it broke my heart to do that 677 00:51:24,619 --> 00:51:26,219 but I had to leave. 678 00:51:27,655 --> 00:51:29,423 I think it was inevitable. 679 00:51:33,327 --> 00:51:35,128 Although I did love Mick, 680 00:51:35,763 --> 00:51:39,232 we were completely unsuited, I'm afraid. 681 00:51:49,844 --> 00:51:53,113 Mick and Keith and I pressed on to Peru. 682 00:51:57,819 --> 00:52:00,187 We had a suitcase full of money 683 00:52:00,220 --> 00:52:03,558 and we wanted to be far, far away from everybody. 684 00:52:05,927 --> 00:52:10,430 ♪ I saw her today At the reception ♪ 685 00:52:10,464 --> 00:52:12,934 Mick tried to catch me on my own sometimes... 686 00:52:12,967 --> 00:52:14,102 ♪ A glass of wine... ♪ 687 00:52:14,134 --> 00:52:16,604 ...when Keith was drunk and passed out. 688 00:52:17,038 --> 00:52:19,206 He'd say we should run off together. 689 00:52:20,775 --> 00:52:22,710 But his flirtations were half-hearted 690 00:52:22,744 --> 00:52:24,444 because he knew I was pregnant. 691 00:52:25,412 --> 00:52:27,280 That's when he started to write 692 00:52:27,649 --> 00:52:29,751 "You Can't Always Get What You Want." 693 00:52:29,784 --> 00:52:33,855 ♪ You can't always get What you want ♪ 694 00:52:35,590 --> 00:52:39,861 ♪ You can't always get What you want ♪ 695 00:52:40,995 --> 00:52:46,333 ♪ But if you try sometimes Well, you might find ♪ 696 00:52:46,668 --> 00:52:48,936 ♪ You get what you need ♪ 697 00:52:49,137 --> 00:52:51,906 ♪ Ah, yeah ♪ 698 00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,643 Anita is in a lot of those songs. Absolutely. 699 00:52:57,812 --> 00:53:01,281 ♪ And I went down To the demonstration ♪ 700 00:53:01,314 --> 00:53:03,450 She's a muse, I'm sure, though not just for me. 701 00:53:03,483 --> 00:53:06,319 I mean, for several other songwriters 702 00:53:06,353 --> 00:53:07,955 that I can think of. 703 00:53:07,989 --> 00:53:09,624 ♪ Sing it to me, honey ♪ 704 00:53:09,657 --> 00:53:13,427 ♪ You can't always get What you want ♪ 705 00:53:14,829 --> 00:53:17,932 ♪ You can't always get What you want ♪ 706 00:53:17,965 --> 00:53:20,535 There always has to be some kind of friction 707 00:53:20,568 --> 00:53:21,669 between Keith and Mick. 708 00:53:22,870 --> 00:53:24,438 And they need someone in the middle 709 00:53:24,471 --> 00:53:25,707 to bring it all out. 710 00:53:27,441 --> 00:53:29,209 Brian used to say that too. 711 00:53:30,511 --> 00:53:32,680 ♪ You get what you need ♪ 712 00:53:32,980 --> 00:53:37,518 ♪ Ah baby, yeah ♪ 713 00:53:58,039 --> 00:54:01,341 He came close to the edge many times. 714 00:54:02,577 --> 00:54:04,545 Who didn't in our group? 715 00:54:07,915 --> 00:54:13,554 But the loss of Brian, it was a dreadful tragedy. 716 00:54:16,657 --> 00:54:19,994 People think of Brian as a sort of ghost, 717 00:54:21,529 --> 00:54:24,565 but he had his own 718 00:54:24,599 --> 00:54:27,400 extraordinary outstanding talent. 719 00:54:31,606 --> 00:54:33,775 Although, he was a very good swimmer, 720 00:54:34,075 --> 00:54:37,912 he had taken a lot of Mandrax before he went in the pool. 721 00:54:39,580 --> 00:54:43,283 And Brian was very weak, physically, anyway. 722 00:54:47,722 --> 00:54:51,526 Poor Brian. I felt very sorry. 723 00:54:53,561 --> 00:54:55,897 Although it was a shock when it actually happened, 724 00:54:56,396 --> 00:54:58,933 nobody was really that surprised too. 725 00:54:59,267 --> 00:55:01,769 There are people... I'm sure that everybody's got 726 00:55:01,803 --> 00:55:03,070 those things about certain people. 727 00:55:03,104 --> 00:55:05,472 - Everybody knows people that... - Mm-hmm. 728 00:55:05,506 --> 00:55:06,641 ...you just have that feeling 729 00:55:06,674 --> 00:55:09,877 that they're not gonna be 70 years old ever, you know? 730 00:55:09,911 --> 00:55:12,680 That not everybody makes it, you know? 731 00:55:17,118 --> 00:55:20,555 I was shocked and I felt guilty. 732 00:55:22,023 --> 00:55:25,560 He just kind of flickered out like a light, you know? 733 00:55:29,630 --> 00:55:30,965 The last time I'd seen Brian 734 00:55:30,998 --> 00:55:33,366 was when we were all singing together on the demo 735 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,635 for "Sympathy for the Devil." 736 00:55:36,771 --> 00:55:38,840 ♪ When the blitzkrieg raged And the bodies stank ♪ 737 00:55:39,173 --> 00:55:41,408 But I hadn't really spoken to him since. 738 00:55:41,676 --> 00:55:43,376 ♪ Pleased to meet you all ♪ 739 00:55:43,778 --> 00:55:47,982 ♪ Hope you guess my name Oh yeah ♪ 740 00:55:48,916 --> 00:55:52,687 After he died, she went kind of mad 741 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:57,825 and she spent all her time putting pictures up of Brian 742 00:55:58,059 --> 00:56:00,561 in the house she shared with Keith 743 00:56:00,595 --> 00:56:02,597 and then taking them all down again 744 00:56:02,797 --> 00:56:04,866 and then putting them all up again. 745 00:56:06,567 --> 00:56:08,669 ♪ I shouted out Who killed the Kennedys? ♪ 746 00:56:09,469 --> 00:56:11,772 I was seven months pregnant when he died. 747 00:56:15,676 --> 00:56:17,011 I started to have visions 748 00:56:17,044 --> 00:56:20,081 that Brian would reincarnate himself as my baby. 749 00:56:25,653 --> 00:56:27,054 It was very scary. 750 00:56:33,594 --> 00:56:37,031 My son was born in August 1969. 751 00:56:38,966 --> 00:56:43,403 He was a perfect eight-pound baby. Healthy. 752 00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:46,874 We didn't have a name and Keith said, 753 00:56:46,908 --> 00:56:48,910 "Marlon Brando called up today." 754 00:56:49,110 --> 00:56:52,046 And I thought, "Marlon. That's a good name." 755 00:56:52,346 --> 00:56:53,848 "We'll call him Marlon." 756 00:56:58,286 --> 00:57:03,423 ♪ Hey, babe What's in your eyes? ♪ 757 00:57:03,991 --> 00:57:08,996 ♪ I saw them flashing Like airplane lights ♪ 758 00:57:09,496 --> 00:57:13,801 ♪ You fill my cup, babe That's for sure ♪ 759 00:57:13,834 --> 00:57:15,169 Somewhere around there, 760 00:57:15,435 --> 00:57:20,541 Keith wrote on the spot "You Got the Silver" 761 00:57:20,908 --> 00:57:22,543 and then sang it to her. 762 00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:24,512 And it was so beautiful. 763 00:57:25,646 --> 00:57:27,181 They really did love each other. 764 00:57:27,214 --> 00:57:31,619 ♪ You got my heart You got my soul ♪ 765 00:57:32,086 --> 00:57:36,724 ♪ You got the silver You got the gold ♪ 766 00:57:37,625 --> 00:57:41,963 ♪ You got the diamonds From the mine ♪ 767 00:57:42,330 --> 00:57:43,764 ♪ Well, that's all right... ♪ 768 00:57:43,965 --> 00:57:45,967 Keith was very tender with Marlon. 769 00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:49,203 He would change him, take him for walks, 770 00:57:49,502 --> 00:57:52,707 things that fathers didn't always do in those days. 771 00:58:01,182 --> 00:58:04,118 Things were pretty rosy for about three months, 772 00:58:04,819 --> 00:58:06,821 then Keith went back on tour. 773 00:58:09,290 --> 00:58:13,828 Marlon was too tiny to travel, so we stayed behind. 774 00:58:15,930 --> 00:58:17,598 By this point, Keith didn't care 775 00:58:17,631 --> 00:58:18,899 for me acting at all. 776 00:58:19,433 --> 00:58:22,036 He offered me money to stop working. 777 00:58:22,770 --> 00:58:25,606 He didn't understand it wasn't about the money. 778 00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:28,242 It was just something I wanted to do. 779 00:58:30,044 --> 00:58:33,280 Keith, in his own way, is very possessive 780 00:58:33,714 --> 00:58:35,683 of friends and lovers. 781 00:58:36,250 --> 00:58:40,755 He resented anything that would take her away from him. 782 00:58:43,057 --> 00:58:45,993 He didn't want his woman to work at all. 783 00:58:46,027 --> 00:58:49,163 It wasn't acting, particularly, it would have been anything. 784 00:58:51,098 --> 00:58:53,267 And I think it was difficult for Anita. 785 00:58:53,534 --> 00:58:56,270 She was so talented in her own right 786 00:58:56,737 --> 00:59:00,174 and sort of kept down in a way, you know? 787 00:59:07,048 --> 00:59:11,986 Honestly, I was confused. I felt betrayed. 788 00:59:13,921 --> 00:59:17,958 But the rule with the boys was "never show emotion." 789 00:59:22,630 --> 00:59:26,100 Heroin makes you feel warm, like you belong. 790 00:59:27,101 --> 00:59:28,836 It seemed like a solution. 791 00:59:35,910 --> 00:59:38,879 I was on my own with Marlon for months. 792 00:59:39,548 --> 00:59:42,983 I stopped breastfeeding and I gave him bottles. 793 00:59:44,351 --> 00:59:47,154 When Keith came back, I was very stoned. 794 00:59:52,693 --> 00:59:56,263 I went to dry out at a clinic where they do a sleeping cure. 795 00:59:58,999 --> 01:00:02,703 You talk to a therapist and then they knock you out. 796 01:00:02,937 --> 01:00:04,238 You sleep it off. 797 01:00:07,174 --> 01:00:09,643 I wanted so much to get better. 798 01:00:10,344 --> 01:00:12,113 I wanted to be a good mother. 799 01:00:13,881 --> 01:00:15,116 But it didn't work. 800 01:00:18,319 --> 01:00:22,256 I spent a week banging my head against the walls. 801 01:00:25,292 --> 01:00:27,695 Eventually, I climbed out the window. 802 01:00:29,163 --> 01:00:30,698 The great escape. 803 01:00:36,137 --> 01:00:37,838 While I was trying to get well, 804 01:00:37,872 --> 01:00:40,174 Marlon and Keith had gone to France. 805 01:00:41,909 --> 01:00:44,345 The Rolling Stones had tax problems, 806 01:00:45,012 --> 01:00:47,414 and we all became exiles. 807 01:00:48,949 --> 01:00:51,685 Our new house was right on the Mediterranean 808 01:00:52,052 --> 01:00:54,188 and the thought of starting a new life together 809 01:00:54,221 --> 01:00:56,824 was very appealing. 810 01:00:58,726 --> 01:01:01,428 Then Keith decided to make a record in our home. 811 01:01:08,369 --> 01:01:10,871 ♪ I wanna tell you 'Bout a dance ♪ 812 01:01:11,105 --> 01:01:13,107 ♪ That's goin' around ♪ 813 01:01:13,841 --> 01:01:16,310 Everyone wanted to come and visit. 814 01:01:16,844 --> 01:01:19,113 We were inundated with people arriving 815 01:01:19,146 --> 01:01:21,048 to start work on the new album. 816 01:01:21,415 --> 01:01:23,884 ♪ Don't move your hands ♪ 817 01:01:24,151 --> 01:01:26,153 ♪ Don't move your lips ♪ 818 01:01:26,687 --> 01:01:29,023 ♪ Just shake your hips ♪ 819 01:01:29,390 --> 01:01:31,058 ♪ Do the hip shake, babe ♪ 820 01:01:31,091 --> 01:01:34,094 First time I saw Anita with Marlon 821 01:01:34,128 --> 01:01:36,463 was in the south of France 822 01:01:36,665 --> 01:01:39,733 when they were doing Exile on Main St. 823 01:01:39,767 --> 01:01:41,468 ♪ Well, if you don't know ♪ 824 01:01:41,502 --> 01:01:43,404 Anita adored Marlon. 825 01:01:43,771 --> 01:01:45,973 Such a sweet child. 826 01:01:46,874 --> 01:01:50,945 Keith had set up a studio in the basement, 827 01:01:50,978 --> 01:01:52,846 and it was a zoo. 828 01:01:55,849 --> 01:01:59,119 There were dozens of people hanging around, 829 01:01:59,486 --> 01:02:02,723 taking drugs, doing whatever. 830 01:02:05,459 --> 01:02:07,529 You had no idea who would be there 831 01:02:07,562 --> 01:02:10,130 and what state of mind they'd be in. 832 01:02:12,567 --> 01:02:14,902 It's just a crazy atmosphere. 833 01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:21,842 I was the only one who could speak French 834 01:02:22,109 --> 01:02:25,045 and I was over-responsible for everything. 835 01:02:25,580 --> 01:02:27,381 It was like running a hotel. 836 01:02:28,148 --> 01:02:31,785 There were 20 to 30 people to feed every day. 837 01:02:32,286 --> 01:02:34,221 Mommy, Daddy. 838 01:02:34,255 --> 01:02:36,924 Mommy. 839 01:02:37,191 --> 01:02:40,027 Follow me. Come with me. 840 01:02:41,929 --> 01:02:44,298 Marlon had all the toys he wanted, 841 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,902 but there was not that much time for him. 842 01:02:52,039 --> 01:02:55,309 He had to be part of the music, and he was. 843 01:02:59,046 --> 01:03:02,449 He'd be up all night sometimes listening to people playing, 844 01:03:02,651 --> 01:03:04,184 and he'd be screaming. 845 01:03:07,988 --> 01:03:11,559 It took me a long time but I think by then, 846 01:03:12,026 --> 01:03:14,795 I realized that Keith's music came first. 847 01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:17,231 Everything else came second. 848 01:03:23,304 --> 01:03:26,473 We showed up at Nellcôte in the summer of '71, 849 01:03:27,509 --> 01:03:29,076 I was eight and a half. 850 01:03:31,145 --> 01:03:32,514 My father was a drug smuggler 851 01:03:32,547 --> 01:03:35,115 and he was tasked with bringing cocaine 852 01:03:35,149 --> 01:03:37,151 to Mick Jagger's wedding to Bianca. 853 01:03:41,255 --> 01:03:43,324 My old man and Keith 854 01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:45,225 were all in the same kind of scene, 855 01:03:45,259 --> 01:03:46,927 and my mother was in that scene. 856 01:03:48,896 --> 01:03:50,497 Ultimately, my mother didn't come 857 01:03:50,532 --> 01:03:52,333 because she was... 858 01:03:53,434 --> 01:03:57,304 recovering from a stint in an asylum. 859 01:04:01,075 --> 01:04:03,010 I recognized, even as a kid, 860 01:04:03,043 --> 01:04:05,412 that Anita was a force of nature, 861 01:04:06,413 --> 01:04:08,315 striking and charismatic. 862 01:04:09,950 --> 01:04:14,988 She was the alpha in the room until Keith came along 863 01:04:15,022 --> 01:04:17,625 and then they were both sort of co-alphas. 864 01:04:21,028 --> 01:04:22,664 Can you turn the piano up just a bit? 865 01:04:22,697 --> 01:04:24,465 You know, just like the off... 866 01:04:24,865 --> 01:04:29,103 Charlie, did you get that? We're gonna try that... 867 01:04:29,136 --> 01:04:31,171 Everything sort of became nocturnal 868 01:04:31,205 --> 01:04:32,640 'cause Keith was nocturnal. 869 01:04:32,674 --> 01:04:35,075 Yeah, which amps are you coming out of, Keith? 870 01:04:35,342 --> 01:04:38,178 My brother and I would sit down there and watch. 871 01:04:38,212 --> 01:04:39,581 So we listen to it. 872 01:04:40,782 --> 01:04:43,484 There's a broken string on that one there, it has to... 873 01:04:43,518 --> 01:04:45,919 Everyone was just sitting around a lot 874 01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:49,022 waiting for Keith to, you know, come to. 875 01:04:51,526 --> 01:04:55,162 All right. We're about to sing here. 876 01:04:59,299 --> 01:05:02,236 By now, Keith had a heroin habit too. 877 01:05:02,837 --> 01:05:04,672 And he was secretive about it. 878 01:05:04,706 --> 01:05:06,574 It should be down in there. 879 01:05:07,241 --> 01:05:09,209 He would go into the bathroom 880 01:05:09,243 --> 01:05:10,310 and shut the door, 881 01:05:10,545 --> 01:05:12,680 so you never knew how much he was taking. 882 01:05:17,050 --> 01:05:18,952 Keith would invite people over, 883 01:05:18,986 --> 01:05:20,421 and they'd stay all hours. 884 01:05:21,556 --> 01:05:24,024 And it was her job to kick them out, 885 01:05:24,425 --> 01:05:26,561 throw them out violently. 886 01:05:26,594 --> 01:05:28,530 Generally, she'd kind of storm in 887 01:05:28,563 --> 01:05:30,964 and throw her Germanness around 888 01:05:30,998 --> 01:05:32,433 and they'd leave pretty quickly 889 01:05:32,466 --> 01:05:34,168 'cause that was something he couldn't do. 890 01:05:34,201 --> 01:05:35,603 He could not get rid of the hangers-on. 891 01:05:37,505 --> 01:05:39,940 They were happy to sit there and just sort of stare at him 892 01:05:41,408 --> 01:05:42,644 while he basically snored. 893 01:05:45,245 --> 01:05:47,481 Anita became a bit of a bodyguard. 894 01:05:51,318 --> 01:05:53,521 I have no idea what it felt like 895 01:05:53,555 --> 01:05:59,359 to be the queen in this castle of, you know, dissolute men. 896 01:06:00,027 --> 01:06:02,396 But there weren't a lot of women in the house. 897 01:06:04,465 --> 01:06:06,133 She couldn't stand it. 898 01:06:06,166 --> 01:06:07,769 She had to hold the whole situation 899 01:06:07,802 --> 01:06:09,236 in her hands. 900 01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:11,506 And there were really people around, I think, 901 01:06:11,539 --> 01:06:14,041 that must have been very annoying for her. 902 01:06:14,074 --> 01:06:17,277 But that's the part of being famous, no? 903 01:06:20,347 --> 01:06:22,517 She was fierce, 904 01:06:22,917 --> 01:06:25,753 and, you know, she would snap. 905 01:06:27,087 --> 01:06:28,322 But not at the kids. 906 01:06:29,289 --> 01:06:32,527 She was generous and funny to the kids. 907 01:06:36,831 --> 01:06:40,467 And then we were there for a month and a half or so, 908 01:06:40,501 --> 01:06:42,202 and my mother passed away. 909 01:06:45,439 --> 01:06:47,474 My dad sort of went on a bender. 910 01:06:50,210 --> 01:06:51,646 I remember her navigating it, 911 01:06:52,079 --> 01:06:55,415 trying to figure out what she could do 912 01:06:56,250 --> 01:06:57,719 and, um... 913 01:06:58,786 --> 01:07:00,320 Fuck. I'm sorry. 914 01:07:03,323 --> 01:07:07,427 She filled the vacuum of a surrogate parent, you know? 915 01:07:10,097 --> 01:07:11,566 And she was lovely like that. 916 01:07:13,768 --> 01:07:17,304 Her thing was trying to give us joy. 917 01:07:22,944 --> 01:07:24,812 Anita used to dance with the kids. 918 01:07:28,115 --> 01:07:30,050 We'd Jumpin' Jack Flash it. 919 01:07:32,152 --> 01:07:34,121 There was a lot of boogie-woogie piano playing, 920 01:07:34,154 --> 01:07:35,523 which the kids loved. 921 01:07:37,124 --> 01:07:39,727 There were no bedtimes. There was no structure. 922 01:07:45,232 --> 01:07:47,769 One night, she cut a line 923 01:07:49,503 --> 01:07:50,838 and I said, "Can I have some?" 924 01:07:52,339 --> 01:07:54,776 And I could see her trying to compute. 925 01:07:55,275 --> 01:07:57,679 She said, "Okay. Well, just this little bit." 926 01:07:58,078 --> 01:08:00,848 So I had my first little bump with Anita. 927 01:08:03,483 --> 01:08:05,520 Uh, it never happened again. 928 01:08:06,554 --> 01:08:08,188 She knew she made a mistake. 929 01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:12,827 In Nice, France, today, 930 01:08:12,860 --> 01:08:14,829 police disclosed that Mick Jagger 931 01:08:14,862 --> 01:08:17,765 and the four other members of The Rolling Stones rock group 932 01:08:17,799 --> 01:08:20,668 have been charged with illegal use of heroin. 933 01:08:22,670 --> 01:08:23,571 A warrant was issued 934 01:08:23,972 --> 01:08:26,574 for the arrest of guitarist Keith Richards and his wife 935 01:08:26,608 --> 01:08:27,875 who failed to appear. 936 01:08:30,812 --> 01:08:32,479 My parents, they were quite blatant 937 01:08:32,513 --> 01:08:33,781 about their drug use. 938 01:08:34,616 --> 01:08:37,585 So eventually the police were called for some incident. 939 01:08:37,885 --> 01:08:38,886 It was very dramatic. 940 01:08:38,920 --> 01:08:41,455 Policemen outside, all that sort of thing. 941 01:08:41,889 --> 01:08:44,559 There was a warrant out for both of them, 942 01:08:46,828 --> 01:08:49,631 and we had to leave France pretty quickly. 943 01:08:53,635 --> 01:08:56,403 We split before the cops raided the house. 944 01:08:58,706 --> 01:09:02,342 My motto was "forward, forward, forward." 945 01:09:02,376 --> 01:09:03,511 "Never look back." 946 01:09:06,380 --> 01:09:09,216 I remember having to leave a lot of my toys 947 01:09:09,449 --> 01:09:11,686 that were sent away, packed up, and put in storage 948 01:09:11,719 --> 01:09:13,320 and never sent on. 949 01:09:14,722 --> 01:09:15,556 That's how it was. 950 01:09:15,990 --> 01:09:18,893 Living such a shambolic and hectic sort of lifestyle, 951 01:09:19,093 --> 01:09:20,595 you'd lose things anyway. 952 01:09:20,628 --> 01:09:21,663 I mean, just lose things. 953 01:09:23,363 --> 01:09:25,700 In like three years, we probably moved house 954 01:09:25,733 --> 01:09:27,501 about 20 times, at least. 955 01:09:30,605 --> 01:09:32,439 And possessions you leave behind, 956 01:09:32,472 --> 01:09:33,473 you never see again. 957 01:09:50,958 --> 01:09:52,660 We couldn't go back to England. 958 01:09:56,296 --> 01:09:58,666 The police in England, they're always watching, 959 01:09:58,700 --> 01:10:00,500 watching the houses... 960 01:10:03,503 --> 01:10:06,473 I remember being very fearful when we were living in London. 961 01:10:06,507 --> 01:10:08,308 We'd go back to our house in Cheney Walk 962 01:10:08,341 --> 01:10:10,011 and they'd immediately draw the curtains 963 01:10:10,044 --> 01:10:11,979 and start staring out the window all the time 964 01:10:12,013 --> 01:10:13,213 looking for the cops. 965 01:10:17,518 --> 01:10:18,351 There was this sort of 966 01:10:18,385 --> 01:10:20,454 Bonnie and Clyde thing about it. 967 01:10:22,657 --> 01:10:26,594 I mean, we actually, literally, were running out of houses. 968 01:10:28,462 --> 01:10:31,431 One suitcase and a kid zooming off 969 01:10:31,465 --> 01:10:33,601 with cops in the trees. 970 01:10:37,337 --> 01:10:38,606 The reason we're in Switzerland, 971 01:10:38,639 --> 01:10:41,308 is it's the only country in the world that would have us. 972 01:10:43,077 --> 01:10:46,581 We're fucking junkies, for Christ's sake. 973 01:10:50,051 --> 01:10:52,285 We got a nice place in Villars. 974 01:10:52,653 --> 01:10:54,589 A simple little cottage. 975 01:10:55,089 --> 01:10:58,526 A ski chalet with meadows and a stream. 976 01:11:04,699 --> 01:11:06,701 One of the earliest memories I have 977 01:11:06,901 --> 01:11:10,872 was my sister being born in Switzerland. 978 01:11:13,541 --> 01:11:15,977 It was a beautiful Sound of Music sort of day. 979 01:11:16,811 --> 01:11:18,846 Alps, trees, sunlight. 980 01:11:21,516 --> 01:11:23,584 The hospital was down the mountainside 981 01:11:23,618 --> 01:11:25,019 from where we lived. 982 01:11:26,988 --> 01:11:29,757 I remember running down this hill, 983 01:11:29,791 --> 01:11:31,993 ran up to this plate glass window 984 01:11:32,527 --> 01:11:36,496 and in the plate glass window was a nurse holding my sister. 985 01:11:38,866 --> 01:11:40,400 It was just amazing. 986 01:11:41,202 --> 01:11:42,937 It was wonderful to have a sister. 987 01:11:45,940 --> 01:11:48,408 My daughter had a square smile 988 01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:49,811 just like mine. 989 01:11:51,612 --> 01:11:54,447 But her birth was traumatic. 990 01:11:56,050 --> 01:11:57,852 She was two months early 991 01:11:58,186 --> 01:12:00,555 and I was still trying to get clean. 992 01:12:01,856 --> 01:12:03,791 We laid low in Switzerland. 993 01:12:04,091 --> 01:12:06,426 The cops couldn't get us here. 994 01:12:07,394 --> 01:12:10,865 I was given the name Dandelion when I was born. 995 01:12:10,898 --> 01:12:13,366 I completely blame my brother for that one. 996 01:12:13,701 --> 01:12:17,071 Some evil vendetta. 997 01:12:17,104 --> 01:12:19,574 Having a baby sister, maybe he was like, 998 01:12:19,607 --> 01:12:24,045 "Yes, you shall be named Dandelion." 999 01:12:24,477 --> 01:12:26,714 Maybe Marlon will tell you his middle name. 1000 01:12:26,747 --> 01:12:27,882 Oh, for fuck's sake. 1001 01:12:28,249 --> 01:12:32,019 Marlon Leon Sundeep Richards. 1002 01:12:32,220 --> 01:12:36,456 Leon Sundeep spells LSD. 1003 01:12:38,659 --> 01:12:41,428 So I went to my father and I told him. 1004 01:12:41,461 --> 01:12:45,566 I said, "Is this coincidence or is this intentional?" 1005 01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:47,001 And he chuckled and he said, 1006 01:12:47,034 --> 01:12:49,070 "Your mother had a sense of humor, didn't she?" 1007 01:13:01,816 --> 01:13:05,119 In Switzerland, we are a normal family 1008 01:13:05,152 --> 01:13:06,486 with growing children. 1009 01:13:06,687 --> 01:13:08,089 And we are outside a lot. 1010 01:13:09,757 --> 01:13:10,691 We play 1011 01:13:10,892 --> 01:13:13,961 and we do all of the things that families do. 1012 01:13:18,766 --> 01:13:22,435 In the winter, we are skiing and tobogganing 1013 01:13:22,469 --> 01:13:24,105 almost every single day. 1014 01:13:26,641 --> 01:13:28,910 Switzerland actually was quite happy, 1015 01:13:30,177 --> 01:13:32,013 and it felt like a skiing holiday. 1016 01:13:32,613 --> 01:13:35,016 Everyone wearing snow suits and all that sort of stuff. 1017 01:13:36,984 --> 01:13:39,620 The ski run was down the road. 1018 01:13:41,222 --> 01:13:43,925 Literally, just walk out the door, get up on a ski lift, 1019 01:13:43,958 --> 01:13:46,227 go up to the top, and then you'd ski down the mountain. 1020 01:13:46,260 --> 01:13:47,795 You'd ski right to your house. 1021 01:13:49,897 --> 01:13:52,566 It was a very domestic time. It was a very settled time. 1022 01:13:55,870 --> 01:13:57,972 Keith and Anita were really good skiers by this point. 1023 01:13:58,639 --> 01:14:00,174 To learn to ski when you're like 1024 01:14:00,207 --> 01:14:02,510 in the deepest depths of addiction 1025 01:14:02,944 --> 01:14:04,645 is just unbelievable. 1026 01:14:04,679 --> 01:14:06,747 I mean, it's nothing you'd generally take up. 1027 01:14:06,781 --> 01:14:08,616 It's not the idea of like, "Oh, I'm gonna, you know, 1028 01:14:08,649 --> 01:14:10,151 go down a mountain every day, 1029 01:14:10,184 --> 01:14:11,852 do massive shot of heroin 1030 01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:14,555 and gonna go on the black run." 1031 01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:36,177 We met these wonderful rich boys in Geneva. 1032 01:14:40,114 --> 01:14:42,482 They turned out to be very loyal. 1033 01:14:44,819 --> 01:14:47,054 The best friends we ever had. 1034 01:14:50,992 --> 01:14:52,927 When I meet Anita, 1035 01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:55,162 she was a very unpredictable person, 1036 01:14:55,196 --> 01:14:56,797 which is something I liked. 1037 01:14:57,465 --> 01:14:59,800 You know, in Switzerland, in social dates, 1038 01:15:00,134 --> 01:15:02,970 to meet somebody unpredictable 1039 01:15:03,004 --> 01:15:06,907 is like putting a bit adventure in your life. 1040 01:15:09,643 --> 01:15:10,444 She had values 1041 01:15:10,945 --> 01:15:13,748 and then she would throw them out of the window in one second. 1042 01:15:14,215 --> 01:15:16,917 You know, to us, she was somebody like dangerous. 1043 01:15:17,184 --> 01:15:18,853 You know, we loved her. 1044 01:15:18,886 --> 01:15:21,555 She created this anarchy that we needed. 1045 01:15:25,059 --> 01:15:27,228 I was surprised to see them 1046 01:15:27,261 --> 01:15:30,131 move into that tiny chalet lost in Villars. 1047 01:15:30,898 --> 01:15:34,001 You know, I mean, what the hell were they doing there? 1048 01:15:34,035 --> 01:15:35,903 And enjoying themselves, it seemed. 1049 01:15:38,005 --> 01:15:39,974 But there was a lot of dramas. 1050 01:15:42,910 --> 01:15:46,547 Anita was sometimes furious and screaming 1051 01:15:46,814 --> 01:15:50,184 and terrorizing everybody, you know, 1052 01:15:50,217 --> 01:15:51,986 and throwing things around. 1053 01:15:52,019 --> 01:15:55,756 And then an hour later, she would appear. 1054 01:15:56,624 --> 01:15:57,992 She would serve you tea. 1055 01:15:58,759 --> 01:16:01,929 She was creating this constant chaos. 1056 01:16:05,332 --> 01:16:07,902 If anything was bothering her, 1057 01:16:07,935 --> 01:16:09,937 she wouldn't wanna talk about it. 1058 01:16:10,838 --> 01:16:14,341 And I'd say, "Oh, we have to sit down and talk about this." 1059 01:16:14,375 --> 01:16:16,644 It was not an option with Anita. 1060 01:16:16,677 --> 01:16:19,046 You know, it was, you know, 1061 01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:22,349 a plate come flying through the room. 1062 01:16:23,851 --> 01:16:28,823 I think junk, for her, was almost necessary 1063 01:16:28,856 --> 01:16:30,724 just to suppress the energy. 1064 01:16:32,426 --> 01:16:34,795 There was a maelstrom in her head. 1065 01:16:35,162 --> 01:16:37,698 She was agitated by voices 1066 01:16:37,731 --> 01:16:40,301 that she couldn't control sometimes. 1067 01:16:43,337 --> 01:16:45,840 Keith said that he was taking a lot of drugs 1068 01:16:45,873 --> 01:16:48,843 because of the pressure of being a Rolling Stone. 1069 01:16:53,814 --> 01:16:57,017 We were always waiting for the drugs to arrive. 1070 01:16:58,219 --> 01:17:02,056 I would try to stop Keith and he would try to stop me, 1071 01:17:03,757 --> 01:17:05,759 but we never stopped ourselves. 1072 01:17:07,995 --> 01:17:10,030 The straight road had been lost. 1073 01:17:12,399 --> 01:17:13,968 They never went to bed 1074 01:17:14,001 --> 01:17:16,403 before six or eight o'clock in the morning. 1075 01:17:18,939 --> 01:17:22,042 They are not in a state of taking care really of the kids. 1076 01:17:26,046 --> 01:17:28,349 Marlon was considered an adult. 1077 01:17:32,453 --> 01:17:33,354 One night, 1078 01:17:33,387 --> 01:17:36,090 we're all going to see Dr. Feelgood. 1079 01:17:39,360 --> 01:17:42,263 And Anita rambles about something. 1080 01:17:43,130 --> 01:17:46,967 And Marlon, you know, he leans in front of the camera. 1081 01:17:47,001 --> 01:17:49,837 He says, "Mama, don't talk. Don't talk." 1082 01:17:51,372 --> 01:17:53,841 - Mama, don't talk. - All right. 1083 01:17:56,010 --> 01:17:58,112 Marlon was a commanding force. 1084 01:18:00,381 --> 01:18:02,850 And he had a lot on his shoulders. 1085 01:18:03,484 --> 01:18:06,253 A lot on his shoulders, 'cause he was sometimes 1086 01:18:06,287 --> 01:18:08,222 the man in the house. 1087 01:18:21,368 --> 01:18:24,071 We were constantly being left alone 1088 01:18:24,104 --> 01:18:26,006 while Keith went off on tour. 1089 01:18:27,441 --> 01:18:29,176 I think after the first tour we did, 1090 01:18:29,210 --> 01:18:30,411 my mother found it too exhausting 1091 01:18:30,444 --> 01:18:32,213 having a small child on tour. 1092 01:18:39,554 --> 01:18:41,021 Being a mother, 1093 01:18:41,255 --> 01:18:43,357 she found a very chauvinistic environment. 1094 01:18:43,558 --> 01:18:44,925 Very ugly. 1095 01:18:50,965 --> 01:18:52,132 It's a very unhealthy environment, 1096 01:18:52,166 --> 01:18:56,036 psychologically, physically, and definitely mentally. 1097 01:19:01,308 --> 01:19:04,044 It was only there for the four or five people 1098 01:19:04,078 --> 01:19:06,046 who were on stage every night. 1099 01:19:08,583 --> 01:19:10,851 There was no interest in anyone else, really. 1100 01:19:16,323 --> 01:19:18,959 The Stones had become a corporation. 1101 01:19:21,128 --> 01:19:22,830 The guys in suits. 1102 01:19:24,231 --> 01:19:26,000 The nebula of yes men. 1103 01:19:27,434 --> 01:19:29,103 The wheel was set in motion. 1104 01:19:31,238 --> 01:19:33,140 It was a totally different scene. 1105 01:19:34,509 --> 01:19:36,844 The band was like an organism, 1106 01:19:36,877 --> 01:19:38,479 a multifaceted one. 1107 01:19:38,946 --> 01:19:40,948 Jade Jagger calls it the Org, 1108 01:19:41,382 --> 01:19:43,585 or the Bus is another good word she calls it. 1109 01:19:43,618 --> 01:19:45,119 The Bus comes first. 1110 01:19:49,490 --> 01:19:51,859 You can get off the bus, you can get on the bus, 1111 01:19:51,892 --> 01:19:53,294 but the bus is always going somewhere 1112 01:19:53,327 --> 01:19:54,862 and it's always on the move. 1113 01:20:04,938 --> 01:20:08,008 The Bus isn't healthy and you have to get off it. 1114 01:20:23,591 --> 01:20:27,161 When he came home, Keith got stoned a lot. 1115 01:20:31,432 --> 01:20:34,101 He also spent a lot of time sleeping. 1116 01:20:39,340 --> 01:20:41,576 But one night, we got romantic 1117 01:20:46,480 --> 01:20:48,215 and I fell pregnant again. 1118 01:20:53,087 --> 01:20:55,322 My parents told me we're gonna have another baby. 1119 01:20:56,290 --> 01:20:57,592 They were very excited. 1120 01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:02,062 I remember Anita thinking it was a 1121 01:21:02,096 --> 01:21:03,397 sort of new lease on life. 1122 01:21:06,166 --> 01:21:08,168 It brought them together more, obviously, 1123 01:21:08,202 --> 01:21:10,003 for a short period of time at least. 1124 01:21:12,339 --> 01:21:14,642 For him, you know, the more, the merrier really. 1125 01:21:15,442 --> 01:21:18,445 But then he didn't really have to deal with, you know, 1126 01:21:18,479 --> 01:21:22,684 for, A, childbirth and, you know, B, child-rearing. 1127 01:21:28,122 --> 01:21:30,324 Tara was a beautiful baby. 1128 01:21:30,891 --> 01:21:32,393 I was over the moon. 1129 01:21:33,961 --> 01:21:36,463 I was constantly with him in my arms. 1130 01:21:45,507 --> 01:21:47,642 Tara was born prematurely. 1131 01:21:49,977 --> 01:21:52,012 And I do remember him coming home and seeing him 1132 01:21:52,045 --> 01:21:54,582 and then him having to go back to the hospital quite a lot. 1133 01:21:55,015 --> 01:21:56,984 Back and forth, back and forth. 1134 01:22:01,355 --> 01:22:02,657 There were complications. 1135 01:22:02,956 --> 01:22:05,292 My parents were very concerned about that. 1136 01:22:08,395 --> 01:22:11,331 I remember being at the hospital, 1137 01:22:12,366 --> 01:22:13,934 helping her out. 1138 01:22:16,470 --> 01:22:18,071 Keith wasn't around 1139 01:22:18,272 --> 01:22:20,107 and Anita was, at that time, 1140 01:22:20,441 --> 01:22:22,042 I guess a bit alone. 1141 01:22:26,548 --> 01:22:29,183 She was supposed to have people looking after her. 1142 01:22:29,818 --> 01:22:31,452 They just weren't, at some point, 1143 01:22:31,485 --> 01:22:32,720 and left her on her own. 1144 01:22:34,622 --> 01:22:37,424 And I think Anita felt abandoned by everyone. 1145 01:22:48,168 --> 01:22:51,639 On that fatal night, I was at a party. 1146 01:22:54,174 --> 01:22:55,743 Suddenly the phone rang 1147 01:22:56,143 --> 01:22:58,245 and I don't know how she found me. 1148 01:22:58,278 --> 01:22:59,514 I don't know who found me. 1149 01:23:02,149 --> 01:23:04,218 She was screaming and she was... 1150 01:23:04,519 --> 01:23:06,153 She was in a state. 1151 01:23:08,656 --> 01:23:10,257 I went to the house. 1152 01:23:13,193 --> 01:23:17,331 This house was just like chaos itself. 1153 01:23:18,800 --> 01:23:20,768 I tried to make Tara breathe 1154 01:23:20,802 --> 01:23:25,507 but the kid was cold and stiff. 1155 01:23:30,310 --> 01:23:32,647 I think I fainted at one point. 1156 01:23:33,013 --> 01:23:35,182 It was so difficult. 1157 01:23:36,483 --> 01:23:40,153 Anita was completely out of control. 1158 01:23:41,355 --> 01:23:43,223 She cried. She screamed. 1159 01:23:43,257 --> 01:23:46,426 She was... She was... it was terrible. 1160 01:23:46,828 --> 01:23:50,532 She had this animal thing that came out, you know? 1161 01:23:50,565 --> 01:23:54,334 Like she wanted to... She wanted him to be alive. 1162 01:23:57,371 --> 01:24:00,474 And it was an extremely sad moment. 1163 01:24:09,416 --> 01:24:12,820 Keith was in Paris the night I believe he heard. 1164 01:24:14,454 --> 01:24:16,791 There's a bit of footage from the concert. 1165 01:24:18,593 --> 01:24:21,161 He insisted on going on stage that night. 1166 01:24:21,529 --> 01:24:23,631 The band, from what I gather, was saying, 1167 01:24:23,665 --> 01:24:25,633 "No, you can't. Your son's just died." 1168 01:24:25,900 --> 01:24:28,402 But he insisted the show must go on. 1169 01:24:28,870 --> 01:24:31,539 I supposed he played very well. Very, very well. 1170 01:25:00,167 --> 01:25:01,201 Yeah! 1171 01:25:07,842 --> 01:25:09,711 Tara had died a crib death. 1172 01:25:11,546 --> 01:25:13,413 He was only 10 weeks old. 1173 01:25:17,250 --> 01:25:18,553 I was heartbroken. 1174 01:25:22,189 --> 01:25:24,759 The Swiss doctors told me it wasn't my fault. 1175 01:25:26,861 --> 01:25:30,497 But if I'd been more together, could I have done something? 1176 01:25:39,373 --> 01:25:40,808 Keith never blamed me. 1177 01:25:41,308 --> 01:25:42,677 He's not like that. 1178 01:25:45,278 --> 01:25:46,581 But I blame myself. 1179 01:25:48,683 --> 01:25:50,384 I had a nervous breakdown. 1180 01:25:57,391 --> 01:26:00,728 Tara, he's never... he's never really been 1181 01:26:00,762 --> 01:26:02,295 talked about, to be honest, 1182 01:26:03,865 --> 01:26:05,499 but his memory's there. 1183 01:26:06,233 --> 01:26:09,469 But Marlon and I find it hard, and my mom never talked about it 1184 01:26:09,503 --> 01:26:11,238 and my dad never talks about it. 1185 01:26:11,739 --> 01:26:14,976 And I think maybe now, as we're getting older, 1186 01:26:15,009 --> 01:26:16,376 we probably should have... 1187 01:26:16,944 --> 01:26:19,781 probably could've talked to Mom about it a bit more, but... 1188 01:26:20,313 --> 01:26:22,950 It wasn't really much of a topic, shall we say. 1189 01:26:23,518 --> 01:26:25,687 It was never really brought up much again. 1190 01:26:25,920 --> 01:26:27,187 It was too painful. 1191 01:26:27,755 --> 01:26:30,424 I think they just couldn't cope, either of them. 1192 01:26:35,697 --> 01:26:38,633 I had to take Angela and put her with my mother, 1193 01:26:40,434 --> 01:26:42,770 'cause it was incredibly sad for us. 1194 01:26:45,305 --> 01:26:49,242 But given the circumstances, it was the only decision. 1195 01:26:54,481 --> 01:26:55,983 I think we were in a hotel. 1196 01:26:57,919 --> 01:26:59,453 I don't know what hotel we were in 1197 01:26:59,486 --> 01:27:01,589 but my nan and Bill came and picked me up. 1198 01:27:02,156 --> 01:27:04,391 And my mom was just... She was just in bed. 1199 01:27:04,424 --> 01:27:06,493 She didn't really know that I was leaving. 1200 01:27:06,527 --> 01:27:07,695 She didn't say goodbye. 1201 01:27:07,995 --> 01:27:11,331 She was pretty much out of it, I would say, probably. 1202 01:27:11,699 --> 01:27:14,401 And my nan and Bill came and got my little suitcase, 1203 01:27:14,434 --> 01:27:15,970 and that was it, I just went. 1204 01:27:19,607 --> 01:27:22,476 I don't know what I was told at the time. 1205 01:27:22,510 --> 01:27:24,478 I think I was just going there for a little while 1206 01:27:24,512 --> 01:27:27,314 while my mom was just sorting herself out, 1207 01:27:27,347 --> 01:27:28,516 and my dad was as well. 1208 01:27:31,519 --> 01:27:33,621 Angela would have been four years old. 1209 01:27:33,988 --> 01:27:35,890 Just went on permanently from then. 1210 01:27:38,726 --> 01:27:40,260 We were split up. 1211 01:27:41,963 --> 01:27:43,765 She stayed in England 1212 01:27:44,065 --> 01:27:46,266 and we went to live in the States. 1213 01:27:51,471 --> 01:27:53,406 Maybe it was just a new start. 1214 01:27:53,440 --> 01:27:54,675 Maybe that sort of thing. 1215 01:27:54,709 --> 01:27:56,376 I mean, it's somewhere different. 1216 01:27:56,409 --> 01:27:57,444 Yeah. 1217 01:28:00,114 --> 01:28:01,649 It was like a new life. 1218 01:28:04,018 --> 01:28:05,920 My idea of America was The Brady Bunch. 1219 01:28:06,286 --> 01:28:09,322 But we were in the middle of nowhere. Upstate New York. 1220 01:28:11,959 --> 01:28:14,629 My parents weren't getting on very well at that point. 1221 01:28:16,764 --> 01:28:18,866 Keith was, I think, just doing his sort of shit, 1222 01:28:18,900 --> 01:28:20,902 fucking off and disappearing for weeks on end. 1223 01:28:23,538 --> 01:28:24,939 It was basically a lawyered decision 1224 01:28:24,972 --> 01:28:27,407 to some degree that they should... 1225 01:28:27,775 --> 01:28:29,677 He was either told to like, you know, 1226 01:28:29,710 --> 01:28:32,079 choose The Rolling Stones or choose her. 1227 01:28:32,445 --> 01:28:33,247 You can't have both 1228 01:28:33,614 --> 01:28:36,584 because you're self-destructing if you stay with her. 1229 01:28:38,653 --> 01:28:40,755 And I'm sure she told the lawyers 1230 01:28:41,022 --> 01:28:42,455 to go fuck themselves. 1231 01:28:43,658 --> 01:28:45,392 And she probably threw something at them. 1232 01:28:55,468 --> 01:28:57,705 I moved in with Anita and Marlon 1233 01:28:57,939 --> 01:29:00,908 in July of '78. 1234 01:29:02,610 --> 01:29:04,078 Anita hired me 1235 01:29:04,377 --> 01:29:06,848 to be the governess or nanny for Marlon. 1236 01:29:07,982 --> 01:29:10,084 My masters was in Special Ed. 1237 01:29:10,117 --> 01:29:12,520 And it was my understanding from Anita 1238 01:29:12,553 --> 01:29:14,155 that he was "home-schooled." 1239 01:29:14,188 --> 01:29:15,790 He had never been to school. 1240 01:29:15,990 --> 01:29:17,058 And he was eight. 1241 01:29:18,559 --> 01:29:20,460 But Marlon was amazing. 1242 01:29:20,761 --> 01:29:22,495 He was a brilliant little boy. 1243 01:29:23,931 --> 01:29:27,500 And I just tried to normalize suburban living, 1244 01:29:27,535 --> 01:29:28,435 going to school, 1245 01:29:28,468 --> 01:29:30,671 being an eight-year-old kid having fun. 1246 01:29:36,244 --> 01:29:40,848 Anita was just in this very small... 1247 01:29:42,516 --> 01:29:44,952 closed provincial community, 1248 01:29:45,519 --> 01:29:47,387 bored out of her mind, 1249 01:29:48,356 --> 01:29:51,491 just getting off of the loss of a child, 1250 01:29:51,726 --> 01:29:54,494 and she was dependent on the record company 1251 01:29:54,528 --> 01:29:55,930 for just about everything. 1252 01:29:56,564 --> 01:30:00,968 They had quite a bit of control over her life. 1253 01:30:01,736 --> 01:30:05,606 She did not have possession of her own passport, 1254 01:30:06,107 --> 01:30:10,111 so she was pretty much at their mercy 1255 01:30:10,144 --> 01:30:13,781 and needed to ask permission to travel. 1256 01:30:15,983 --> 01:30:17,885 She was a caged animal. 1257 01:30:21,555 --> 01:30:23,758 I think she was really angry, yeah. 1258 01:30:25,526 --> 01:30:28,930 I think the whole situation wore her down after a bit. 1259 01:30:31,999 --> 01:30:33,500 She was very lonely up there. 1260 01:30:33,801 --> 01:30:36,203 And she befriended this young guy. 1261 01:30:37,071 --> 01:30:39,472 He was 17, 18-ish. 1262 01:30:41,042 --> 01:30:43,077 Scott and his cousin 1263 01:30:43,377 --> 01:30:46,147 did a lot of odd jobs around the community. 1264 01:30:48,516 --> 01:30:51,619 They seemed to kind of be knockabouts. 1265 01:30:53,854 --> 01:30:56,991 Anita was very lenient, very laid-back, 1266 01:30:57,024 --> 01:30:59,694 and, you know, "Help yourself." 1267 01:31:00,361 --> 01:31:03,130 They were just friends until... 1268 01:31:04,999 --> 01:31:06,200 until they weren't. 1269 01:31:06,968 --> 01:31:12,573 You know, he might not have been a minor, 1270 01:31:12,974 --> 01:31:16,010 but, in my mind, he was just... 1271 01:31:16,277 --> 01:31:17,878 he was just too... 1272 01:31:17,912 --> 01:31:19,013 He was a kid. 1273 01:31:21,315 --> 01:31:24,852 My grandmother kept me very sheltered 1274 01:31:24,885 --> 01:31:28,556 about my mom and my father's lifestyles. 1275 01:31:29,090 --> 01:31:31,158 But I'd go out there in the summer holidays 1276 01:31:31,192 --> 01:31:32,259 and see them. 1277 01:31:32,593 --> 01:31:35,129 The relationship was definitely a bit stifled. 1278 01:31:35,429 --> 01:31:37,064 Old-fashioned, my nan would say. 1279 01:31:37,098 --> 01:31:39,767 She just didn't really see what was, you know, 1280 01:31:39,800 --> 01:31:42,737 what was going on or understand it. 1281 01:31:42,770 --> 01:31:44,538 And, you know, she was... 1282 01:31:44,572 --> 01:31:46,574 She was bad mom in my nan's eyes. 1283 01:31:50,945 --> 01:31:54,015 When Keith's mom came to visit with Angela, 1284 01:31:54,682 --> 01:31:58,019 Anita treated her like she was made of glass. 1285 01:31:58,486 --> 01:32:00,721 She just would sit and look at her 1286 01:32:00,755 --> 01:32:02,990 and, you know, talk about her dress, 1287 01:32:03,024 --> 01:32:05,726 and admire her. 1288 01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:06,961 Admire her. 1289 01:32:06,994 --> 01:32:08,329 And I think she was longing 1290 01:32:08,362 --> 01:32:09,830 but she didn't wanna get too close 1291 01:32:09,864 --> 01:32:11,098 'cause she knew they were leaving. 1292 01:32:12,800 --> 01:32:15,169 She held a lot against Doris, 1293 01:32:15,870 --> 01:32:19,173 the reason why she didn't have Angela with her. 1294 01:32:28,282 --> 01:32:31,919 It was the last day of school, July 28th, 1979. 1295 01:32:32,420 --> 01:32:33,754 I was like ten. 1296 01:32:35,289 --> 01:32:37,558 I'd just finished summer school. 1297 01:32:40,161 --> 01:32:41,595 Got off the bus. 1298 01:32:43,731 --> 01:32:46,901 No one was home really. At least, I didn't think so. 1299 01:32:48,537 --> 01:32:50,304 So I walked in, made a sandwich. 1300 01:32:50,805 --> 01:32:52,740 Sat down, turned the TV on. 1301 01:32:52,773 --> 01:32:55,810 It was an exciting time ten years ago today. 1302 01:32:56,277 --> 01:32:59,046 Watched this ABC Special on the moon landings. 1303 01:32:59,580 --> 01:33:02,583 Houston, the Eagle has landed. 1304 01:33:04,852 --> 01:33:07,254 I didn't realize Anita was even in the house. 1305 01:33:07,755 --> 01:33:10,024 And then I hear a loud bang. 1306 01:33:11,358 --> 01:33:12,860 And then a scream. 1307 01:33:13,761 --> 01:33:18,199 Anita came down in a night gown, just covered in blood. 1308 01:33:18,399 --> 01:33:21,235 Screaming, saying, "Oh, my God. Scott's blown his head off," 1309 01:33:21,268 --> 01:33:23,070 or shot himself or something like that 1310 01:33:23,104 --> 01:33:24,171 and freaking out. 1311 01:33:24,472 --> 01:33:26,674 She was losing her shit. Losing her shit. 1312 01:33:28,175 --> 01:33:30,244 I remember running upstairs rather morbidly. 1313 01:33:32,346 --> 01:33:33,714 The TV was on. 1314 01:33:34,348 --> 01:33:36,150 They'd been watching Deer Hunter. 1315 01:33:39,887 --> 01:33:41,822 And the Russian roulette scene came up 1316 01:33:41,856 --> 01:33:43,124 and he decided to emulate it. 1317 01:33:43,724 --> 01:33:45,159 And, unfortunately, he lost. 1318 01:33:53,267 --> 01:33:55,002 I remember going around the room 1319 01:33:55,202 --> 01:33:58,272 because I was always taught as a child to clean up. 1320 01:33:58,973 --> 01:34:01,876 If there's anything dodgy around, get rid of it. 1321 01:34:03,144 --> 01:34:04,845 There was like drug paraphernalia around, 1322 01:34:04,879 --> 01:34:07,081 so I kind of scooped it into a bag or something 1323 01:34:07,114 --> 01:34:08,315 and threw it in the rubbish. 1324 01:34:09,016 --> 01:34:11,118 And then I remembered, "Oh, shit, the pistols." 1325 01:34:12,453 --> 01:34:14,855 The guns in the house were Keith's. 1326 01:34:16,257 --> 01:34:18,893 So I kind of took those and put those away too 1327 01:34:18,926 --> 01:34:20,361 'cause I knew the cops were coming. 1328 01:34:22,930 --> 01:34:24,899 And there was 25 cop cars around. 1329 01:34:24,932 --> 01:34:27,201 They hauled her off to jail, I think, for a bit. 1330 01:34:28,769 --> 01:34:31,372 Searched the house for dirty bits, all that. 1331 01:34:33,274 --> 01:34:35,042 It was very, very dark. 1332 01:34:36,944 --> 01:34:41,048 We were drifting a little anyway. 1333 01:34:43,384 --> 01:34:47,121 It was at that point, I had to actually say to Anita, 1334 01:34:47,154 --> 01:34:49,089 "I'm not living with you anymore." 1335 01:34:51,492 --> 01:34:55,462 I really had to say, you know, "Look, I have to leave." 1336 01:34:59,967 --> 01:35:01,468 It wasn't safe to stay there. 1337 01:35:02,203 --> 01:35:04,004 We pretty much moved out that night. 1338 01:35:04,038 --> 01:35:05,806 That was it. We were out of that house. 1339 01:35:07,975 --> 01:35:10,978 She had to go off and be coached by lawyers. 1340 01:35:14,248 --> 01:35:17,785 I was whisked off to Paris to stay with my father. 1341 01:35:19,787 --> 01:35:22,223 The next time I saw her was like four months later. 1342 01:35:22,256 --> 01:35:24,058 She was living in a hotel in New York. 1343 01:35:29,029 --> 01:35:31,232 All I heard was the click of a gun. 1344 01:35:35,803 --> 01:35:40,007 It was someone's life and I'd had my back turned. 1345 01:35:44,912 --> 01:35:46,780 I felt like some nasty person 1346 01:35:46,814 --> 01:35:49,016 who caused death and destruction around her. 1347 01:35:56,357 --> 01:35:59,426 I slid further into the depths of heroin addiction, 1348 01:36:03,264 --> 01:36:05,899 scoring on the streets of Alphabet City. 1349 01:36:06,867 --> 01:36:09,436 I started stealing drugs from my friends. 1350 01:36:15,610 --> 01:36:16,977 I sat in the Mudd Club 1351 01:36:17,011 --> 01:36:19,179 and watched my former self on video. 1352 01:36:23,384 --> 01:36:26,387 I felt totally at the mercy of dark powers, 1353 01:36:29,890 --> 01:36:31,191 the living dead. 1354 01:36:40,868 --> 01:36:43,971 She just descended. Descended pretty badly. 1355 01:36:47,374 --> 01:36:49,843 She painted herself into a corner pretty much. 1356 01:36:52,046 --> 01:36:53,548 She was such a nightmare that I think 1357 01:36:53,581 --> 01:36:55,349 basically she was her own worst enemy. 1358 01:37:06,894 --> 01:37:07,961 In the end, 1359 01:37:08,563 --> 01:37:10,931 it was the alcohol that brought me down. 1360 01:37:13,434 --> 01:37:16,538 I was so drunk, I'd fallen off the bed. 1361 01:37:20,140 --> 01:37:22,176 And that's where they found me. 1362 01:37:27,515 --> 01:37:28,916 But I survived. 1363 01:37:31,318 --> 01:37:33,120 I wasn't sure that I would. 1364 01:37:36,591 --> 01:37:38,125 By that point, especially, 1365 01:37:38,158 --> 01:37:39,860 she'd seen enough people dying off. 1366 01:37:40,094 --> 01:37:42,363 She knew that if she didn't clean up, 1367 01:37:42,396 --> 01:37:43,497 it would be her. 1368 01:37:44,064 --> 01:37:45,065 Yeah. 1369 01:37:49,403 --> 01:37:52,272 She went off and did some rehab. 1370 01:37:53,675 --> 01:37:55,209 She went to one place 1371 01:37:55,242 --> 01:37:56,578 in the middle of nowhere pretty much. 1372 01:37:58,813 --> 01:38:02,282 All the counselors were these huge ex, like, military types. 1373 01:38:03,317 --> 01:38:06,487 She had to sit in the middle of this room with her sponsor, 1374 01:38:06,521 --> 01:38:08,989 and me and my sister and her sister. 1375 01:38:09,356 --> 01:38:12,426 And she had to read out like a massive essay 1376 01:38:12,459 --> 01:38:15,095 she wrote to each of us with what she'd done wrong to us 1377 01:38:15,429 --> 01:38:17,331 over the years and apologize to us. 1378 01:38:17,364 --> 01:38:19,166 And it was heartbreaking. It really was. 1379 01:38:21,669 --> 01:38:24,104 I thought I'd broken all the bridges. 1380 01:38:25,105 --> 01:38:28,008 I thought the children wouldn't wanna know me anymore. 1381 01:38:31,078 --> 01:38:33,380 It's been a very difficult journey 1382 01:38:33,414 --> 01:38:34,915 for me and Marlon. 1383 01:38:36,083 --> 01:38:39,687 Sometimes we had... my dad. 1384 01:38:39,721 --> 01:38:43,525 He sat down with me one day and he explained it all 1385 01:38:45,325 --> 01:38:46,427 and broke down. 1386 01:38:48,663 --> 01:38:50,230 Yeah, it's hard. 1387 01:38:55,302 --> 01:38:58,706 Just, you know, they weren't in a good place. 1388 01:39:03,143 --> 01:39:06,346 But I've never wanted an apology. 1389 01:39:08,482 --> 01:39:11,018 I just think if you're proving yourself 1390 01:39:11,051 --> 01:39:13,521 and changing your life and wanting to do better, 1391 01:39:13,721 --> 01:39:16,490 I'll take that as an apology. 1392 01:39:23,163 --> 01:39:26,500 In NA, when you're in recovery, 1393 01:39:27,702 --> 01:39:29,537 we look back at our past, 1394 01:39:30,170 --> 01:39:33,006 we look at everything that we've done, 1395 01:39:33,307 --> 01:39:35,042 and assess it. 1396 01:39:35,075 --> 01:39:37,177 We don't judge it but we assess it, 1397 01:39:37,211 --> 01:39:40,715 and we don't leave anything behind closed doors. 1398 01:39:45,419 --> 01:39:47,120 When Tara died, 1399 01:39:47,988 --> 01:39:51,158 it must have been extremely difficult for Anita. 1400 01:39:53,427 --> 01:39:56,230 Keith certainly wasn't a father in the... 1401 01:39:56,764 --> 01:39:59,801 in the normal sense of the word. 1402 01:40:05,573 --> 01:40:08,075 To me, she was one of The Rolling Stones. 1403 01:40:09,343 --> 01:40:12,012 She certainly was one of the boys. 1404 01:40:14,381 --> 01:40:17,384 But nobody was there to help her. 1405 01:40:19,453 --> 01:40:21,388 She had a lot of strength and... 1406 01:40:21,421 --> 01:40:23,558 I mean, I don't know how she survived so long. 1407 01:40:32,332 --> 01:40:35,369 I would like to bring Tara's ashes to Rome, 1408 01:40:35,770 --> 01:40:37,304 to the family grave. 1409 01:40:42,710 --> 01:40:44,679 Can I lay to rest the ghosts 1410 01:40:44,979 --> 01:40:47,481 that have haunted me for so many years? 1411 01:40:53,821 --> 01:40:55,355 I still feel young, 1412 01:40:55,723 --> 01:40:59,694 but I look in the mirror and I realize that I'm not. 1413 01:41:04,532 --> 01:41:06,066 I started writing. 1414 01:41:08,402 --> 01:41:10,203 It was difficult at first 1415 01:41:11,405 --> 01:41:13,841 but the memories came flooding back. 1416 01:41:18,178 --> 01:41:20,480 I knew I had to understand myself 1417 01:41:20,515 --> 01:41:22,282 and the people I grew up with, 1418 01:41:22,717 --> 01:41:24,886 and not be daunted that everyone else 1419 01:41:24,919 --> 01:41:26,788 thinks of them as giants. 1420 01:41:32,392 --> 01:41:34,428 I don't regret anything. 1421 01:41:38,533 --> 01:41:40,167 All the fires I had been through 1422 01:41:40,200 --> 01:41:42,436 had been like a cleansing, 1423 01:41:43,838 --> 01:41:46,473 and fires are extraordinary. 1424 01:41:50,812 --> 01:41:53,681 But I've gotta get my own thing going again. 1425 01:41:57,417 --> 01:42:00,153 She really had two acts in her life, 1426 01:42:00,187 --> 01:42:03,858 and the first act was very different from the second. 1427 01:42:04,291 --> 01:42:06,561 To her credit, she got herself together. 1428 01:42:06,861 --> 01:42:10,364 I mean, not many people did. My old man certainly didn't. 1429 01:42:10,965 --> 01:42:13,768 She got herself together. She got sober, you know? 1430 01:42:13,801 --> 01:42:15,402 She got the wake-up call. 1431 01:42:22,977 --> 01:42:26,246 I think the desire to not be a victim saved her. 1432 01:42:28,850 --> 01:42:30,384 She wanted to achieve things. 1433 01:42:33,955 --> 01:42:36,658 By the time I was at secondary school, 1434 01:42:37,125 --> 01:42:39,694 she was just much more involved in my life. 1435 01:42:41,896 --> 01:42:44,264 And that's when she started to go to college. 1436 01:42:44,999 --> 01:42:46,934 So we were both students. It was quite funny. 1437 01:42:47,902 --> 01:42:51,706 She said it wasn't easy being that person in there. 1438 01:42:51,739 --> 01:42:54,742 But she said it was great, and she worked really hard. 1439 01:42:55,442 --> 01:42:57,512 I think that gave her a great deal of confidence. 1440 01:42:57,545 --> 01:42:58,680 A great deal of confidence. 1441 01:42:58,713 --> 01:42:59,914 She was so proud of herself, 1442 01:42:59,947 --> 01:43:01,448 and we were all very proud of her. 1443 01:43:02,315 --> 01:43:04,786 I have this picture of her with her hat 1444 01:43:04,986 --> 01:43:06,654 and her certificate, 1445 01:43:06,688 --> 01:43:09,524 grinning, when she graduated. 1446 01:43:13,427 --> 01:43:16,296 Yeah, she talked a lot about going to art school. 1447 01:43:17,464 --> 01:43:19,734 I think she probably found herself, 1448 01:43:19,767 --> 01:43:21,401 like her true self, 1449 01:43:21,969 --> 01:43:23,370 'cause there was nothing, 1450 01:43:23,705 --> 01:43:25,439 you know, none of that Stones thing. 1451 01:43:25,472 --> 01:43:28,643 She was a student. She was with other students. 1452 01:43:28,676 --> 01:43:30,310 And she was just like Anita. 1453 01:43:30,945 --> 01:43:34,615 I didn't know her when she took drugs, so... But... 1454 01:43:36,918 --> 01:43:39,453 she was so interesting without them. 1455 01:43:41,989 --> 01:43:43,791 Anita loved Kate. 1456 01:43:45,059 --> 01:43:47,394 She, you know, took a lot of inspiration 1457 01:43:47,427 --> 01:43:48,696 from the young people she was with. 1458 01:43:48,730 --> 01:43:50,631 She loved hanging out with young people. 1459 01:43:51,231 --> 01:43:54,501 And Kate sort of credited her with her style. 1460 01:43:58,305 --> 01:43:59,941 And that's when she got this reputation 1461 01:43:59,974 --> 01:44:01,475 as a fashion icon. 1462 01:44:08,583 --> 01:44:11,619 I knew about Anita, like, as an icon. 1463 01:44:12,352 --> 01:44:16,256 She was one of my heroes before I met her. 1464 01:44:18,593 --> 01:44:20,327 She is a historical figure. 1465 01:44:21,596 --> 01:44:22,462 She's Anita Pallenberg 1466 01:44:22,764 --> 01:44:26,567 and this is a woman who has lived a very intense 1467 01:44:26,601 --> 01:44:27,769 and dangerous life. 1468 01:44:31,706 --> 01:44:33,440 She had the best style. 1469 01:44:33,941 --> 01:44:37,578 I mean, I still try to recreate that stuff. 1470 01:44:38,946 --> 01:44:42,482 It was the original bohemian rock chick 1471 01:44:44,417 --> 01:44:47,287 that people still aspire to today. 1472 01:44:50,057 --> 01:44:52,727 Anita did not agree with plastic surgery. 1473 01:44:52,760 --> 01:44:56,429 She thought it was naff, very unchic. 1474 01:44:58,966 --> 01:45:01,468 She just had such a strong personality. 1475 01:45:01,869 --> 01:45:03,303 She didn't give a fuck. 1476 01:45:05,072 --> 01:45:07,575 And she was everything you want a rock star to be. 1477 01:45:07,608 --> 01:45:10,645 Or like just the... 1478 01:45:10,678 --> 01:45:13,047 For me, everything you want a woman to be. 1479 01:45:16,383 --> 01:45:19,486 You know, we are talking about a one-off here. 1480 01:45:22,123 --> 01:45:23,958 What I loved about Anita was... 1481 01:45:23,991 --> 01:45:28,495 Well, there's a naturalness about how she operated 1482 01:45:29,096 --> 01:45:31,766 and a sort of... almost an innocence about it, 1483 01:45:31,799 --> 01:45:35,636 even in its most Machiavellian form. 1484 01:45:40,107 --> 01:45:42,342 She was my woman. 1485 01:45:42,810 --> 01:45:45,112 We stuck together through a lot. 1486 01:45:47,615 --> 01:45:50,685 But it was a total experiment really, 1487 01:45:51,986 --> 01:45:54,989 and it was a hell of an experience, 1488 01:45:55,022 --> 01:45:57,658 but she made a man out of me, and... 1489 01:46:03,564 --> 01:46:06,499 My dad's always said that, "I've always loved your mom 1490 01:46:06,534 --> 01:46:08,035 but I just couldn't live with her," 1491 01:46:08,069 --> 01:46:10,538 which, I'm sure, she probably would say the same 1492 01:46:10,571 --> 01:46:12,573 about him at the time as well. 1493 01:46:18,012 --> 01:46:19,747 Keith's a decent guy. 1494 01:46:24,051 --> 01:46:27,054 He's no angel, but neither am I. 1495 01:46:30,191 --> 01:46:32,793 We've been through too much together to fight. 1496 01:46:38,799 --> 01:46:41,602 He says he's probably gonna die on stage. 1497 01:46:47,808 --> 01:46:51,212 His truth is different to my truth. 1498 01:47:00,554 --> 01:47:02,790 It's funny how life comes around. 1499 01:47:06,861 --> 01:47:08,696 I started acting again. 1500 01:47:10,131 --> 01:47:11,498 Where's my change? 1501 01:47:11,532 --> 01:47:12,633 What, it's $50 a piece? 1502 01:47:12,667 --> 01:47:14,467 Change? Take your change in coconuts 1503 01:47:14,501 --> 01:47:16,203 I used to wipe your ass, for Christ's sake. 1504 01:47:16,237 --> 01:47:17,672 Well, we're even then. 1505 01:47:27,048 --> 01:47:29,050 Get off home, back to your mommy. 1506 01:47:29,350 --> 01:47:31,786 The moment, yeah. Oh, my God. 1507 01:47:35,156 --> 01:47:36,857 Well, it's pretty heavy. 1508 01:47:38,793 --> 01:47:42,697 I never thought I could look even remotely like the Queen. 1509 01:47:42,730 --> 01:47:44,131 But they managed to... 1510 01:47:44,165 --> 01:47:45,099 Even now, the other day, 1511 01:47:45,333 --> 01:47:49,170 I saw it on TV and I said, "My God, I look like her." 1512 01:47:54,842 --> 01:47:58,779 Like, I don't know, I felt part of a social structure and such. 1513 01:47:59,113 --> 01:48:00,948 Having lunch at the Queen's house 1514 01:48:00,982 --> 01:48:03,150 at Buckingham Palace and all of that, 1515 01:48:03,184 --> 01:48:05,686 it's just, for me, it's not where I come from. 1516 01:48:07,054 --> 01:48:09,523 And James Fox from Performance... 1517 01:48:10,725 --> 01:48:12,059 Do you like my physique? 1518 01:48:12,693 --> 01:48:14,962 ...he and I end up in bed again. 1519 01:48:16,163 --> 01:48:17,898 You think people will come? 1520 01:48:19,633 --> 01:48:20,835 Of course, they will. 1521 01:48:23,270 --> 01:48:26,207 They will come to see the greatest show on Earth. 1522 01:48:28,609 --> 01:48:30,678 The scene in bed with James Fox, 1523 01:48:30,711 --> 01:48:33,014 we kind of did that very kind of quietly, 1524 01:48:33,047 --> 01:48:36,317 because we both kind of were traumatized 1525 01:48:36,350 --> 01:48:37,985 by the way we look. 1526 01:48:39,687 --> 01:48:42,089 Obviously, we've both grown older, 1527 01:48:42,123 --> 01:48:43,958 so we gotta play it all very down 1528 01:48:43,991 --> 01:48:46,694 and didn't do any kind of crazy things in it. 1529 01:48:46,727 --> 01:48:48,129 And so, that's fine. 1530 01:48:48,162 --> 01:48:49,530 It's just fine. 1531 01:48:51,999 --> 01:48:55,002 I hope I haven't cleaned my dirty laundry in public, 1532 01:48:58,706 --> 01:49:02,209 but writing this has helped me emerge in my own eyes. 1533 01:49:06,647 --> 01:49:11,052 Reading over what I've written, I get a lump in my throat. 1534 01:49:16,757 --> 01:49:20,928 But it doesn't need to be a doom and gloom kind of story. 1535 01:50:21,455 --> 01:50:22,723 ♪ Crawling ♪ 1536 01:50:24,725 --> 01:50:28,162 ♪ Over your window You think I'm confused ♪ 1537 01:50:29,130 --> 01:50:32,099 ♪ I'm waiting For the divergent wasp ♪ 1538 01:50:33,134 --> 01:50:35,336 ♪ To complete my current ruse ♪ 1539 01:50:37,338 --> 01:50:39,640 ♪ You use a plate-glass screen ♪ 1540 01:50:41,175 --> 01:50:43,777 ♪ To protect my chosen target ♪ 1541 01:50:45,045 --> 01:50:47,281 ♪ But there's An air-pellet hole ♪ 1542 01:50:47,982 --> 01:50:50,851 ♪ I can crawl through to you ♪ 1543 01:50:53,821 --> 01:50:56,757 ♪ I am the fly in the ointment ♪ 1544 01:50:56,790 --> 01:50:59,827 ♪ I can spread more disease Than the fleas ♪ 1545 01:50:59,860 --> 01:51:04,098 ♪ Which nibble away At your window display ♪ 1546 01:51:07,168 --> 01:51:10,271 ♪ Yes, I am the fly In the ointment ♪ 1547 01:51:10,304 --> 01:51:13,340 ♪ I shake you down To say please as you ♪ 1548 01:51:13,374 --> 01:51:16,710 ♪ Accept the next dose Of disease ♪ 1549 01:51:19,480 --> 01:51:22,483 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1550 01:51:22,517 --> 01:51:25,486 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1551 01:51:25,520 --> 01:51:29,056 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1552 01:51:31,892 --> 01:51:34,762 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1553 01:51:34,795 --> 01:51:37,898 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1554 01:51:37,932 --> 01:51:41,135 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1555 01:52:02,089 --> 01:52:05,059 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1556 01:52:05,092 --> 01:52:07,962 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1557 01:52:08,162 --> 01:52:11,765 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1558 01:52:14,168 --> 01:52:17,238 ♪ Yes, I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1559 01:52:17,271 --> 01:52:20,174 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1560 01:52:20,207 --> 01:52:23,511 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1561 01:52:26,447 --> 01:52:29,283 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1562 01:52:29,316 --> 01:52:32,353 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1563 01:52:32,386 --> 01:52:36,156 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1564 01:52:38,392 --> 01:52:41,428 ♪ Yes, I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1565 01:52:41,462 --> 01:52:44,398 ♪ I am the fly, I am the fly ♪ 1566 01:52:44,431 --> 01:52:48,102 ♪ Fly in the, Fly in the ointment ♪ 1567 01:52:50,871 --> 01:52:52,540 ♪ I am the fly ♪ 122608

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