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1
00:00:08,255 --> 00:00:11,281
[ Car Horn Honks ]
Ooh, my goodness!
There's your carpool.
2
00:00:11,358 --> 00:00:13,952
You'd really better hurry.
Yes, dear.
3
00:00:30,744 --> 00:00:33,907
[ Laughing ]
Just like the Old Country.
4
00:00:33,980 --> 00:00:37,472
Does my heart good
to see a man wolf his food.
5
00:00:37,551 --> 00:00:40,019
Well, good-bye, everybody.
[ Together]
Bye.
6
00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:42,021
Good-bye, Lily.
7
00:00:42,089 --> 00:00:45,024
Will you be home
from the parlor early, dear?
8
00:00:45,092 --> 00:00:48,357
Oh. Well, today we're having
our annual office party.
9
00:00:48,428 --> 00:00:51,192
Oh. Well, then be careful.
10
00:00:51,264 --> 00:00:53,994
Uh, those office parties
can get a little wild.
11
00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:57,093
Oh, y-you don't have to
worry about me, dear.
12
00:00:57,170 --> 00:01:00,867
I'm no watercooler Casanova.
13
00:01:00,941 --> 00:01:03,068
As a matter of fact,
I'm so square,
14
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:05,907
I understand some
of the secretaries are starting
to refer to me...
15
00:01:05,979 --> 00:01:08,243
as ""Herman the Cube.''
16
00:01:10,183 --> 00:01:12,413
Well, come home
as soon as you can.
17
00:01:12,486 --> 00:01:15,887
Eh, I'll be home
at least by 6:30.
18
00:01:15,956 --> 00:01:19,153
Uh, good-bye, all.
[ Together]
Bye.
19
00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:22,787
You think Munster's wife
will let him stay
for the office party tonight?
20
00:01:22,863 --> 00:01:25,263
We told him
it would be over by 6:30--
21
00:01:25,332 --> 00:01:27,266
that way she'll let him go.
22
00:01:27,334 --> 00:01:29,666
Yeah, but it won't really
get going till 9:00.
23
00:01:29,736 --> 00:01:32,261
Old Herman will be lucky
if he gets home by midnight.
24
00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:35,939
Shh. Here he comes.
25
00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:01,819
Hey, Mom, when's Dad
coming home from work?
26
00:03:01,895 --> 00:03:04,728
He wasn't here
for supper or anything.
27
00:03:04,798 --> 00:03:07,198
Well, you see, Eddie,
there are times...
28
00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,599
when the social requirements
of his job,
29
00:03:09,669 --> 00:03:11,830
and the morale
of his fellow employees,
30
00:03:11,905 --> 00:03:14,931
require your father's presence
after closing time.
31
00:03:15,008 --> 00:03:17,636
Hmm. Another
office party, huh?
32
00:03:17,711 --> 00:03:22,148
Well, something like that.
Now, don't you think you'd better
run along to bed?
33
00:03:22,215 --> 00:03:24,149
Okay.
Have you done everything?
34
00:03:24,217 --> 00:03:26,481
Have you put away your toys
and brushed your fangs?
35
00:03:26,553 --> 00:03:29,522
Mm-hmm.
All right. That's fine, Eddie.
36
00:03:30,524 --> 00:03:32,685
Good night.
Don't forget Woof-Woof.
37
00:03:32,759 --> 00:03:34,693
Oh, of course.
38
00:03:38,298 --> 00:03:41,563
Good night, Grandpa.
Hmm.
Good night, Eddie.
39
00:03:41,635 --> 00:03:44,126
Good night, Woof-Woof.
40
00:03:44,204 --> 00:03:46,138
Good night.
41
00:03:46,206 --> 00:03:48,697
Hey, Mom, can Spot sleep
in my room tonight?
42
00:03:48,775 --> 00:03:50,709
All right, Eddie,
but be careful.
43
00:03:50,777 --> 00:03:55,043
He has a slight cold, and I don't
want him to start sneezing
and set fire to the drapes.
44
00:03:55,115 --> 00:03:57,379
Good night.
Good night.
45
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,819
Come on, Spot!
You get to sleep
with me tonight.
46
00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:06,825
[ Growls ]
47
00:04:06,893 --> 00:04:08,827
Good boy, Spot.
48
00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:13,662
Ah, there's nothing more touching
than a boy and his pet.
[ Footsteps Thudding ]
49
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:16,258
[ Squawks ]
9:00 and all's well.
50
00:04:16,336 --> 00:04:20,033
[ Squawks ]
Correction.
The bum ain't home yet.
51
00:04:20,106 --> 00:04:22,438
Smart aleck.
52
00:04:22,509 --> 00:04:26,377
Oh, I had no idea
it was so late.
53
00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:28,914
Now I'm really angry
with Herman.
54
00:04:28,982 --> 00:04:31,576
I'm going to call him up again
and tell him off.
55
00:04:31,651 --> 00:04:36,088
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Crowd ]
? Camptown ladies sing this song?
56
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:38,090
?Doo-dah?
Hello?
57
00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:40,626
This is Lily.
58
00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:43,788
What do you mean, ""Lily who''?
This is your wife!
59
00:04:43,863 --> 00:04:47,264
Oh, Lily! I'm, uh,
I'm glad you called, dear.
? Oh, doo-dah day?
60
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:50,394
Do you know the lyrics
to the second chorus
of""Shortenin' Bread''?
61
00:04:53,473 --> 00:04:56,203
? Doo-dah, doo-dah ?
?Doo-dah, doo-dah?
62
00:04:56,276 --> 00:04:59,404
Herman Munster!
I have had enough of this!
63
00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:01,413
You come right home this--
64
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:05,645
? Oh, doo-dah day?
65
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:09,883
Now what was that, Lily?
[ Woman ]
Come on back, Hermie baby.!
66
00:05:09,956 --> 00:05:11,890
Eh, coming, Miss Haversham.
67
00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:14,552
- Oh, what was that, dear?
- [ Grunts ]
68
00:05:14,628 --> 00:05:16,562
Lily?
??[ Continues ]
69
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:19,463
Lily!
70
00:05:19,532 --> 00:05:21,557
Guess we were cut off.
??[ Ends ]
71
00:05:21,635 --> 00:05:24,934
Say, do you fellas know
""Moonlight on the Ganges''?
72
00:05:27,807 --> 00:05:30,241
Grandpa, I'm not gonna
wait around here any longer.
73
00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,870
If that cornball Caruso
calls back,
74
00:05:32,946 --> 00:05:34,880
you tell him
I've gone to bed!
75
00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:37,576
Oh, I'm so mad
I could chew nails!
76
00:05:38,785 --> 00:05:41,549
Eh, Lily, be my guest.
77
00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:43,919
Thank you.
78
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,590
[ Crunching ]
79
00:05:51,064 --> 00:05:53,396
[ Herman ]
?Doo-dah, doo-dah?
80
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:55,764
[ Chuckling ]
81
00:05:55,835 --> 00:05:59,271
? Camptown races
doo-dah-doo ?
82
00:05:59,339 --> 00:06:03,139
? Doo-doo, doo-doo
doo-dah, doo ??
83
00:06:30,904 --> 00:06:32,838
Grandpa?
84
00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:36,633
Grandpa?
85
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:39,645
Grandpa!
Oh, Herman, it's you.
86
00:06:39,713 --> 00:06:42,511
Hi, Grandpa.
I guess I must have dozed off...
87
00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:45,244
while I was hanging around
waiting for you.
88
00:06:45,318 --> 00:06:48,378
Where's Lily?
Oh, she's upstairs
waiting for you.
89
00:06:48,455 --> 00:06:50,423
Oh, good. I had such
a good time at the party.
90
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:52,549
I'm gonna go upstairs
and tell her all about it.
91
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:55,526
[ Chuckles ]
You know,
let her in on the fun.
92
00:06:55,595 --> 00:06:57,529
[ Chuckles ]
Whoopee!
93
00:06:57,597 --> 00:06:59,531
[ Laughing ]
94
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:01,533
Well, there he goes.
95
00:07:01,601 --> 00:07:05,037
In the mood she's in,
she's liable to tear him apart.
96
00:07:05,105 --> 00:07:07,573
Well, lucky I'm good
at jigsaw puzzles.
97
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,236
I'd better get upstairs
and hit the slab
before the trouble starts.
98
00:07:14,514 --> 00:07:17,574
?? [ Humming ""Camptown Races'' ]
99
00:07:20,687 --> 00:07:24,179
Hmm. That's funny.
The door must be stuck.
100
00:07:24,257 --> 00:07:28,751
Lily?
? Herman's come back
home to stay?
101
00:07:28,828 --> 00:07:31,388
? Doo-dah, doo-dah ?
102
00:07:31,464 --> 00:07:33,398
[ Laughs ]
103
00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:35,195
Lily?
104
00:07:35,268 --> 00:07:37,793
I guess she's not in there.
105
00:07:42,976 --> 00:07:45,444
She's in there, all right.
106
00:07:46,513 --> 00:07:48,572
Lily?
107
00:07:48,648 --> 00:07:50,582
Baby.
108
00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,845
I-It's Hermie.
109
00:07:52,919 --> 00:07:57,117
Now-- O-O-Open the door
like a good little wifey.
110
00:07:59,192 --> 00:08:02,650
Lily. No more teasing.
111
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:07,563
Pussycat wanna go sleepy-bye.
112
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:18,469
Well, pussycat can
just go sleepy-bye...
113
00:08:18,545 --> 00:08:20,775
on the living room couch!
114
00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:29,982
[ Snoring ]
115
00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:35,592
[ Grunting ]
116
00:08:46,539 --> 00:08:49,872
[ Laughing ]
117
00:08:49,943 --> 00:08:54,277
E-Eh, Lily, stop it.
N-No matter what you do,
I'm not coming upstairs.
118
00:08:55,415 --> 00:08:57,383
Lily! Lily!
[ Growls ]
119
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,645
Oh.
[ Growling ]
120
00:09:00,653 --> 00:09:03,213
Cute kitty.
121
00:09:07,493 --> 00:09:11,224
[ Soft Tapping ]
122
00:09:12,398 --> 00:09:14,389
What's that?
123
00:09:16,769 --> 00:09:19,602
It's that leaky faucet
in the kitchen. Hmm.
124
00:09:19,672 --> 00:09:21,902
I'll just ignore it.
125
00:09:21,975 --> 00:09:25,809
[ Tapping Continues ]
126
00:09:27,447 --> 00:09:29,642
[ Groaning ]
127
00:09:29,716 --> 00:09:31,650
I'll shut it off.
128
00:09:39,492 --> 00:09:41,722
[ Crashes ]
129
00:09:41,794 --> 00:09:43,887
What?
130
00:09:45,198 --> 00:09:47,132
I'd better light a match.
131
00:09:58,211 --> 00:10:00,475
John Wayne never
has that trouble.
132
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:14,226
[ Tapping Continues ]
133
00:10:26,606 --> 00:10:28,540
[ Creaks ]
134
00:10:34,013 --> 00:10:35,981
[ Groans ]
135
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:48,452
[ Creaking ]
136
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,288
[ Gasps, Screams ]
[ Squeaking ]
137
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:19,519
[ Yelling ]
Help! Help! Help!
138
00:11:19,592 --> 00:11:22,584
Help! Oh, good heavens!
Help! Help!
139
00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:25,426
Help.! Help.! Help.!
140
00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:28,365
Help.! Help.!
141
00:11:28,434 --> 00:11:30,368
Pop, what happened?
Help.!
142
00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:32,370
H-Herman, Herman,
wh-what's the matter?
A mouse!
143
00:11:32,438 --> 00:11:35,339
There was a big,
mean-looking mouse,
and he was after me.
144
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:39,208
Herman, will you come down
from there? Come down!
145
00:11:39,278 --> 00:11:43,044
He made a face at me--
and he showed his teeth
and everything.
146
00:11:43,116 --> 00:11:45,243
Herman, look,
he's all gone.
147
00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:49,186
Will you please
go to sleep and don't
worry about anything?
148
00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:53,191
Don't be scared, Pop.
Me and Grandpa will be
right upstairs.
149
00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:56,626
That's right, son.
Now-Now, get along.
Get along to bed.
150
00:11:56,696 --> 00:11:59,392
[ Groans ]
Come on, Eddie.
151
00:12:01,601 --> 00:12:04,126
[ Screams ]
[ Grandpa ]
Good night.
152
00:12:04,203 --> 00:12:06,535
Oh, good night.
153
00:12:32,498 --> 00:12:34,523
Oh, where is everybody?
154
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,433
Everybody's had breakfast
and gone off to school.
155
00:12:37,503 --> 00:12:39,471
Oh.
156
00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:41,939
Grandpa, would you
mind telling me...
157
00:12:42,008 --> 00:12:44,772
why this person
is sitting at my table?
158
00:12:44,844 --> 00:12:47,244
I'm waiting
for breakfast.
159
00:12:47,313 --> 00:12:50,874
Would you tell this person
that everybody who was
going to get breakfast...
160
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:54,818
already had breakfast.
161
00:12:54,887 --> 00:12:57,515
Lily, I'm hungry!
162
00:12:57,590 --> 00:13:01,686
Eh, as husband, father...
163
00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:04,696
and head of the household,
I demand breakfast!
164
00:13:11,537 --> 00:13:13,767
What's this?
165
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,240
Prune pits.
Three of them.
166
00:13:16,309 --> 00:13:18,436
One for the father,
one for the husband...
167
00:13:18,511 --> 00:13:21,378
and one for
the head of the house.
168
00:13:21,447 --> 00:13:23,381
Eh--
169
00:13:26,986 --> 00:13:29,318
Grandpa,
what am I going to do?
170
00:13:29,388 --> 00:13:32,323
I can't spend the rest
of my married life
sleeping on the couch...
171
00:13:32,391 --> 00:13:34,325
and eating prune pits.
172
00:13:34,393 --> 00:13:38,557
Herman, if you give in now,
she'll have the upper hand forever.
[ Cackles ]
173
00:13:38,631 --> 00:13:41,998
But, if you hold out,
she'll come around.
174
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,161
That's the way
to handle women! Mmm.
175
00:13:48,474 --> 00:13:52,137
[ Crunching ]
What are you doing?
176
00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,941
Well,just in case
she doesn't come around,
177
00:13:55,014 --> 00:13:58,177
I'm gonna get used
to eating prune pits.
178
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,461
Grandpa,
179
00:14:16,536 --> 00:14:20,063
this is the fourth night
in a row I've slept down here!
180
00:14:20,139 --> 00:14:22,073
When is Lily
gonna give in?
181
00:14:22,141 --> 00:14:25,577
Herman, I hate to say it,
but I think we're licked.
[ Chuckles ]
182
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:29,638
I'm afraid you just don't have
the personality and warmth
you used to have.
183
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:31,649
In other words, my boy,
184
00:14:31,717 --> 00:14:33,810
in that great furnace
known as romance,
185
00:14:33,886 --> 00:14:36,878
your pilot light
has gone out.
186
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:41,120
Grandpa, you certainly have
a way with words.
Thank you.
187
00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:43,754
But how am I gonna
turn up the burner?
188
00:14:43,829 --> 00:14:45,763
Wait. I think
I have the answer.
189
00:14:45,831 --> 00:14:47,799
Here.
190
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:49,801
Read this.
191
00:14:49,869 --> 00:14:51,803
""Is your marriage shaky?
192
00:14:51,871 --> 00:14:53,805
""Headed for the rocks?
193
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:57,036
""See Dr. Harvey Baxter, M.C.,
Marriage Counselor.
194
00:14:57,109 --> 00:14:59,236
Broken hearts made whole.''
195
00:14:59,312 --> 00:15:03,806
Ah, Grandpa.
Me go to a marriage counselor?
[ Chuckles ]
196
00:15:03,883 --> 00:15:08,149
Marilyn, me go
to a marriage counselor?
197
00:15:08,221 --> 00:15:12,783
Yes. Well, you and Uncle Herman
are getting farther apart every day.
198
00:15:12,858 --> 00:15:15,383
And neither of you
are going to give in.
199
00:15:15,461 --> 00:15:19,488
I think it's the only solution.
[ Scoffs ]
I wouldn't know who to go to.
200
00:15:19,565 --> 00:15:22,466
Well, Aunt Lily, I read an ad
in the paper this morning,
201
00:15:22,535 --> 00:15:25,868
and so I called and I made
an appointment for you
for tomorrow.
202
00:15:25,938 --> 00:15:28,998
The man's name
is Dr. Harvey Baxter.
203
00:15:31,744 --> 00:15:35,236
All right, I'll try...
on one condition--
204
00:15:35,314 --> 00:15:37,874
that your Uncle Herman
never knows.
205
00:15:41,921 --> 00:15:46,221
Now, as I was saying,
my name is Mrs. Mu--
No names, please.
206
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:49,784
I find that people
are less inhibited
if they remain anonymous.
207
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:53,298
Now then,
what is your problem?
208
00:15:53,366 --> 00:15:56,028
Well, to begin with, Doctor,
I'm married.
209
00:15:56,102 --> 00:15:58,093
Don't be ashamed of it.
210
00:15:58,170 --> 00:16:00,695
Virtually every person
who's walked through that door...
211
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:03,606
has made
the same mistake.
212
00:16:03,676 --> 00:16:05,667
Now, tell me something
about your background.
213
00:16:05,745 --> 00:16:09,078
- For instance, where were you born?
- Transylvania.
214
00:16:10,783 --> 00:16:12,580
My father is a count.
215
00:16:12,652 --> 00:16:14,586
And your husband?
No count.
216
00:16:15,955 --> 00:16:18,719
Uh, bitterness
is not the answer.
217
00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:20,759
I meant, where was he born?
218
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:24,728
Oh, my husband
was made, Doctor, not born.
219
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:28,028
Oh, oh, yes, of course.
That's, that's fine.
220
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:31,729
Every woman should think
her husband is a self-made man.
221
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:34,238
Oh, he had help.
222
00:16:34,307 --> 00:16:37,105
Now, madam, tell me,
223
00:16:37,176 --> 00:16:39,110
is there another woman?
224
00:16:39,178 --> 00:16:42,545
No, the doctor quit after Herman.
225
00:16:43,549 --> 00:16:48,145
Well, e-exactly what is
the cause of your domestic trouble?
226
00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:51,087
Well, it all started
down at his place
of employment.
227
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:53,625
Ah, that is a familiar complaint.
228
00:16:53,693 --> 00:16:56,127
The wife neglected for the job.
229
00:16:56,195 --> 00:16:58,959
I suppose he just
buries himself in his work.
230
00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:01,693
Oh, no, no. Not Herman.
231
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,634
Although there have been
a few close calls.
232
00:17:04,704 --> 00:17:07,229
You see, Doctor,
the trouble started...
233
00:17:07,306 --> 00:17:11,504
when they had this party
down at the office.
234
00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:14,341
He didn't get home
until after 1 2:00.
235
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:19,282
Aha! This is
an old story to me.
236
00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:22,082
Ah, the gay playboy husband.
237
00:17:22,154 --> 00:17:25,180
But, fortunately,
there is an easy solution.
238
00:17:25,257 --> 00:17:28,749
You must go home
and apologize immediately.
239
00:17:30,196 --> 00:17:32,824
Me, apologize?
240
00:17:32,898 --> 00:17:36,698
I'm not the one who came home
in the middle of the night
and sang ""doo-dah, doo-dah''...
241
00:17:36,769 --> 00:17:38,999
through the keyhole.
242
00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:43,599
If you take the first step,
it will put the burden
squarely on his shoulders,
243
00:17:43,676 --> 00:17:48,340
and he will realize
what a loving, forgiving wife you are.
244
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:52,248
Well, I'll try it.
245
00:17:52,318 --> 00:17:56,049
But, remember,
you must assume
the role of peacemaker...
246
00:17:56,122 --> 00:17:58,784
and be the first
to forgive and forget.
247
00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:08,666
Uh, Doctor,
I think your secretary's
taking a sunbath.
248
00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:11,862
Uh, she jumped out the window
and ran up the fire escape
to the roof.
249
00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:19,543
Good heavens, man,
what happened to you?
250
00:18:19,612 --> 00:18:23,275
Well, you see, my wife
and I have had a fight.
251
00:18:23,349 --> 00:18:25,817
You-- You should have
defended yourself, man.
252
00:18:25,885 --> 00:18:30,288
No one should stand still
and take a beating like that.
Nobody hit me.
253
00:18:30,356 --> 00:18:33,587
You mean there's been
no physical violence?
254
00:18:33,659 --> 00:18:37,390
No, Doctor. My problems
are purely emotional.
255
00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:40,432
Yes. Yes, that's obvious.
256
00:18:40,499 --> 00:18:43,366
Sit down.
Oh, thank you.
257
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,737
Now, uh, let's begin
at the beginning.
258
00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:52,141
Well, my wife has locked me
out of the bedroom...
259
00:18:52,211 --> 00:18:54,145
and won't let me in.
260
00:18:54,213 --> 00:18:57,740
Naturally. But has she
done anything unusual?
261
00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:00,445
U-Uh, no, you don't
understand, Doctor.
262
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:03,886
She's not only locked me out
of the bedroom,
she won't feed me.
263
00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:06,083
Eh, she won't even
speak to me.
264
00:19:06,158 --> 00:19:08,888
What was the cause
of the quarrel?
265
00:19:08,961 --> 00:19:11,896
Oh. Well, a few evenings ago...
266
00:19:11,964 --> 00:19:14,296
I stayed out rather late...
267
00:19:14,366 --> 00:19:16,425
for business reasons.
268
00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:19,699
Uh, when I got home,
my wife was disturbed.
269
00:19:19,772 --> 00:19:21,706
She rejected me...
270
00:19:21,774 --> 00:19:24,299
and made me sleep
downstairs on the couch.
271
00:19:24,376 --> 00:19:26,810
And, Doctor,
272
00:19:26,879 --> 00:19:30,815
for the last four days,
the only thing I've had
my arms around...
273
00:19:30,883 --> 00:19:32,976
is a Woof-Woof.
274
00:19:35,054 --> 00:19:40,117
My advice to you is this--
that you go home at once
and apologize.
275
00:19:40,192 --> 00:19:43,093
- Apologize?
- Exactly.
276
00:19:43,162 --> 00:19:47,792
At any cost you must be the one
to take the first step toward reconciliation.
277
00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:49,596
Do not allow your wife...
278
00:19:49,668 --> 00:19:52,603
to assume
the role of peacemaker.
279
00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:10,245
Lily, I want to talk to you.
280
00:20:10,322 --> 00:20:12,256
And I want to talk
to you too, darling.
281
00:20:12,324 --> 00:20:14,349
There's something
I want to tell you, dear.
282
00:20:14,426 --> 00:20:17,691
Oh, I'll be glad to listen,
but I want to tell you
something first.
283
00:20:17,763 --> 00:20:20,231
Uh, Lily, dear,
if you don't mind,
284
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:24,429
could I tell you what I want
to tell you before you tell me
what you want to tell me?
285
00:20:24,503 --> 00:20:27,700
Eh-Eh, no, dear.
You let me go first,
286
00:20:27,773 --> 00:20:30,401
because what I have to say
will save our marriage.
287
00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:32,967
Uh, Lily, if anyone's gonna
save our marriage,
288
00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:34,979
I'm gonna save our marriage.
289
00:20:35,047 --> 00:20:37,572
Oh, no you're not.
Lily,
290
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:41,450
all I'm trying to do
is say I'm sorry and apologize.
291
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,956
You apologize?
B-But you can't apologize to me...
292
00:20:45,024 --> 00:20:47,151
before I have a chance
to apologize to you.
293
00:20:47,226 --> 00:20:50,127
Lily, all I want to be
is the peacemaker.
294
00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:53,392
You the peacemaker?
Oh, you big dummy!
295
00:20:53,465 --> 00:20:56,992
I'm going to be the peacemaker,
so get that through your thick head!
296
00:20:57,069 --> 00:21:00,800
Lily, will you pipe down
while I'm trying to be sweet
and apologize?
297
00:21:00,873 --> 00:21:02,807
Ooh. That does it!
298
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:05,537
I'm not gonna sit around here
a-and be apologized to...
299
00:21:05,611 --> 00:21:07,875
by a poor insensitive oaf!.
300
00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:10,541
Lily! Lily!
301
00:21:10,616 --> 00:21:12,550
Lily!
302
00:21:13,619 --> 00:21:15,553
Lily!
303
00:21:15,621 --> 00:21:17,851
I-I'm sleeping
in our bed tonight.
304
00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:20,687
I am! I am! I am!
I am! I am! I am!
305
00:21:21,827 --> 00:21:25,228
[ Whimpers ]
Fiddlesticks!
306
00:21:30,569 --> 00:21:32,503
Oh.
307
00:21:34,073 --> 00:21:36,007
Thank you, son.
308
00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:44,947
Oh, Grandpa, why do you
keep fooling around with that...
309
00:21:45,017 --> 00:21:47,281
when we have such
a serious problem
on our hands?
310
00:21:47,353 --> 00:21:51,414
[ Chuckles ]
Because, my dear, this
is going to solve the problem.
311
00:21:51,490 --> 00:21:54,926
This is a formula
for instant measles.
312
00:21:54,994 --> 00:21:57,827
Wait a minute.
Who's gonna have the measles?
313
00:21:57,896 --> 00:22:00,228
You are.
But they're synthetic.
314
00:22:00,299 --> 00:22:02,267
No fever. No scratching.
315
00:22:02,334 --> 00:22:05,269
Just two happy parents reunited.
316
00:22:05,337 --> 00:22:08,397
? Dee-da, da-da, la-da ??
317
00:22:08,474 --> 00:22:11,466
Okay, Eddie, there you go.
You mean I have
to drink this stuff?
318
00:22:11,543 --> 00:22:14,171
Drink it?
[ Chuckles ]
What do you mean, drink it?
319
00:22:14,246 --> 00:22:17,409
?? [ Humming ]
320
00:22:19,284 --> 00:22:21,650
- Do you think that'll work?
- Certainly.
321
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,950
When Herman and Lily
think their little boy is sick,
322
00:22:24,023 --> 00:22:26,821
they'll be so worried
it'll bring them back together.
323
00:22:26,892 --> 00:22:29,690
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, Grandpa,
you're a psychologist.
324
00:22:29,762 --> 00:22:34,426
No, I'm not. It's a trick
I learned from watching
old Shirley Temple movies.
325
00:22:43,275 --> 00:22:45,641
Herman!
Herman, come quickly!
326
00:22:45,711 --> 00:22:47,770
It's Eddie!
327
00:22:48,881 --> 00:22:51,907
[ Footsteps Approaching ]
Coming, dear.! Coming.!
328
00:22:51,984 --> 00:22:54,214
Lily! Lily! Lily!
329
00:22:54,286 --> 00:22:56,948
Lily, what is it!?
Oh, I brought him in here, Herman.
330
00:22:57,022 --> 00:23:00,355
Look!
Now, Lily, dear, don't panic.
Herman's here.
331
00:23:00,426 --> 00:23:04,362
We'll think
of something... together.
Oh, but look at his face.
332
00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:11,128
[ Crashes ]
333
00:23:11,203 --> 00:23:13,296
Ooh. Oh, Herman.
334
00:23:13,372 --> 00:23:17,502
Oh, you're so kind and sweet
and precious and adorable.
335
00:23:17,576 --> 00:23:20,875
And-And sometimes
you're a goofball,
but I love you.
336
00:23:23,415 --> 00:23:25,576
Oh, Lily,
337
00:23:25,651 --> 00:23:27,585
say that again.
338
00:23:27,653 --> 00:23:30,679
U-Uh, um, but this time, dear,
leave out ""goofball.''
339
00:23:44,303 --> 00:23:47,500
It is wonderful--
one minute alone
with Grandpa...
340
00:23:47,573 --> 00:23:50,440
and his measles disappeared.
341
00:23:50,509 --> 00:23:53,706
Not one single mark
on that sweet little face.
342
00:23:53,779 --> 00:23:55,713
Oh, it's miraculous.
343
00:23:55,781 --> 00:23:57,715
No, Lily,
I understand it perfectly.
344
00:23:57,783 --> 00:23:59,842
Eddie's measles
were psychosomatic--
345
00:23:59,918 --> 00:24:03,183
the result of worrying
about us quarreling.
346
00:24:03,255 --> 00:24:06,053
[ Chuckles ]
Well, he'll never have to
worry about that again,
347
00:24:06,125 --> 00:24:08,059
will he, pussycat?
348
00:24:08,127 --> 00:24:11,790
Never! No more
office parties for me.
349
00:24:11,864 --> 00:24:15,800
From now on, I'm having
all my fun right here at home!
350
00:24:15,868 --> 00:24:17,802
[ Laughs ]
351
00:24:18,837 --> 00:24:21,067
?? [ Organ ]
352
00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:24,371
? Camptown ladies sing this song ?
353
00:24:24,443 --> 00:24:27,378
? Doo-dah, doo-dah ?
354
00:24:27,446 --> 00:24:30,438
? Camptown racetrack
five miles long ?
355
00:24:30,516 --> 00:24:33,314
? Oh, doo-dah day?
356
00:24:33,385 --> 00:24:36,183
? Gwine to run all night ?
357
00:24:36,255 --> 00:24:39,088
? Gwine to run all day?
358
00:24:39,158 --> 00:24:41,991
? Bet my money on
a bobtail nag ?
359
00:24:42,060 --> 00:24:45,996
? Somebody bet on the bay??
27493
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