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1
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All aboard.
2
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The steamer Southern Star
now sailing for Memphis,
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Vicksburg, Baton Rouge,
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New Orleans, and Cucamonga.
5
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Get your tickets ready. Your ticket, sir.
6
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What, no ticket?
7
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We'll have no stowaways
on this boat, sir!
8
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Get your tickets ready, gentlemen.
9
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Eh, what's up, doc?
10
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Your ticket, if you please, sir?
11
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I've got three queens.
What do y'all got, sir?
12
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- Four kings.
- What?
13
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I'm Colonel Shuffle.
14
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The rip-roarin'est, gold-dingin'est,
sharp-shootin'est, poker-playin'est
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riverboat gambler on the Mississippi.
Yahoo!
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Be there anyone man enough
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to sit in a poker game
with Colonel Shuffle?
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Well, be there?
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There be.
20
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How many chips, sir?
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A hundred bucks' worth, eh?
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Stranger, you don't know
what you're in for.
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I've got five aces. What've you got, sir?
24
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I have got six aces, sir.
25
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If and I had four feet and went, "Hee haw,"
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- what would I be?
- Why, you'd be a jackass.
27
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- Choose your weapon!
- Oh, for me?
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- You shouldn't have, sir.
- No! This is a duel, sir!
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Remember, take five paces, turn, and fire.
30
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And the gentleman wins a cigar!
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What a goon!
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Why for did you splash me
in the Mississippi mud?
33
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Hurry, hurry, hurry!
34
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You're just in time for the big show.
Uncle Tom's Cabinet.
35
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Here you are, sir, one ticket left.
Here you are. Right this way, sir.
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Right this way.
37
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- What a...
- Why did you dunk my poor old hide
38
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in Old Man River,
when I bought a loge seat?
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Uh-uh, doc, it's full of water.
40
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Eh, what's cooking, doc?
41
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I seem to be in a terrible quandary, sir.
42
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Could you change a ten spot, sir?
43
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I'd prefer a profusion of pennies.
44
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Are you sure it's a good one?
Lots of counterfeits around, you know.
45
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Ah, well, you gotta trust somebody.
46
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Let's see now, $1.10, $1.20,
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- $1.21.
- Thank you, sir. Keep the change.
48
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Oh, you beast, you cad.
49
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It's getting so a girl can't travel alone
50
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without you riverboat mashers
getting fresh.
51
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I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm powerful sorry.
52
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Mighty sorry.
53
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Mighty powerful sorry.
54
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Oh, kind sir, save me.
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Save me from that horrible beast.
56
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What's this? What's this?
57
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Here, here, now, missy. I'll save you.
58
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Chivalry ain't dead!
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I can't allow you to molest
that little flower of the South.
60
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Take that, sir!
61
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Did he hurt you, honey child?
62
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No, I was just terribly, terribly frightened.
63
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And you're so big and so strong.
64
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Why, poor helpless little me
was just lost till you...
65
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Think nothing of it, missy.
It was a pleasure, I assure you.
66
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Oh, well, we almost
had a romantic ending.
4900
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