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This is the Milky Way. A nice galaxy.
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875 billion, trillion people live here.
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Yes, it's a nice place to live.
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It's my job to keep it that way.I'm a space cop.
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My name's Monday.My partner's name is Tuesday.
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He always follows me.
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It was Wednesday, January 23, 10.26 p.m.
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- It's 10:28.
- Like I said, it was 10.28 p.m.
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We were returning from a routineinvestigation in the Big Dipper area.
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A 7-12, malicious mischief.
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Schoolchildren had blown the ringoff Saturn.
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When will parents learn to keep uraniumout of their children's reach?
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Yeah, when?
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10.34. Headquarters called.
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Calling prowl-jet 36, prowl-jet 36.
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Come in, 36. Over.
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- Joe Monday.
- Over.
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Joe, it's the flying saucer bandit again.
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First National Bank of Jupiter. Report in.
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Wilco.
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Wednesday, January 23, 10.42 p.m.
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It's 10.46.
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Like I said, 10.46 p.m.We returned to Headquarters.
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Isn't modern science wonderful?
People used to have to use stairs.
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10.52. Back at the old desk,waiting for a call from the chief.
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Half a cop's life is spent in waiting.
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10.53. The chief calls.
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Joe, come right over, please.I need your help immediately.
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Right.
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My interview with the chief was briefand to the point.
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He wanted me to find outwho the flying saucer bandit was...
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and then to place him under arrest.
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I consented.
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11.07. We proceededto the scene of the crime.
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11.21. Checked inat the scene of the crime.
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The crime robots were on the job.
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They were searching outand collecting vital bits of evidence...
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picking up suspicious footprints,gathering up all significant objects.
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No clue was too smallto escape their notice.
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12.15 a. M... We returned to headquarterswith the clues.
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A cop's life
isn't all beer and skittles, you know.
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Now all the facilities of a great,modern crime lab were brought to bear.
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We identified the name of that song.
Mother Machree.
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We proceeded to the Machree file.
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It was a long one.
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We finally found what we were after.
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This criminal was so clever,he'd never been suspected of anything.
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The case was beginning to heat up.
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Our next stepwas the Crimino Detecto set.
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Machree was found to beat Elsa's Blast-inn, selecting a sandwich.
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12.40 a. M... He selecteda pastrami on rye with mustard.
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That figured.
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We didn't have much time.He was a notoriously fast eater.
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1.07. He left the Blast-inn.
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1.08. We arrived at the Blast-inn.
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Our deductions later provedthat we had missed him by one minute.
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1.09. We set out in pursuit.
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10.23. We lost himin a large smog bank over Los Angeles.
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Hey, Joe, get a load of this.
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All right, Machree.We know you're in there. Come on out.
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Like all criminals,he had an elaborate alibi prepared.
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I didn't do nothing.
Like I said, I didn't do nothing.
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This case was brought to trialApril 23, 10.00 a. M...
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in Ultra Superior Court, 13527B,department of astral justice.
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As a result of this trial...
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the two arresting officers weresentenced to 20 years for false arrest.
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Thirty years.
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Like I said, 30 years.
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English
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