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Hear ye.
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This is Owlcott speaking
and blandly announcing...
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that the Woodland Community Swing
is now in session...
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or off to Buffalo, so to speak.
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I hope that this elaborately attentive
audience will stretch...
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their esofigay to the fullest extent...
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and burst forth
with flowing sweet melodies.
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And, now, it pleases me extremely
to have the honor...
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of introducing your skintillating
Master of Ceremonies.
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Greetings and salutations,
youse guys and gals.
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This is the old Maestro and all the lads
bringing you a program...
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of fun and frolic from
the Woodland Community Swing.
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Dear, dear, so help me.
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Flash! What are you doing here,
Ben Birdie?
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This isn't an amateur hour.
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Dear, dear.
If it isn't my old palsy-walsy, Walter.
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Yowsa! It all goes to show that
all cuckoos aren't in clocks.
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No. Now, from the ridiculous
to the sublime and back again.
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Introducing that celebrated radio star,
that boisterous buffoon...
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that incomparable purveyor
of puns and piffle.
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This is your squirrel friend, Milton.
I sure hope you folks...
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Hello, Mr. Squirrel.
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Golly, if it isn't Polly.
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My daddy says you got to let me sing
'cause he's the sponsor.
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Sure you can. And everybody else can sing
with that red-headed music maker...
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Wendell Howell.
And here come Wendell now.
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Evening, neighbors. Let's sing.
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Open your song books to Page 22.
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No, Page 44.
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No, Page, 28, 42, 36, 45, 23...
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16, 18, 5, 14, 81, 73.
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Never mind, we won't use the books.
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Yes, we will!
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Come on! Everybody sing.
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Tick-tock, tick-tock,
who's the cuckoo in your clock?
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Take a look and see.
It might be Ben Birdie!
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- Mr. Allen?
- Yes?
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You're singing the wrong song.
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Why don't somebody tell me these things?
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Now, the second chorus.
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Dear, dear. Mutiny on the high seas.
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Get it? The high seas.
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Flash! Why is Birdie like the high seas?
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Because he's all wet.
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Yowsa, ladies and gentlemen.
All's wet that ends wet.
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And now, some of your
favorite radio stars.
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- Do you wanna be an actor?
- No!
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Hello, folksies.
Today we'll make a lish-delicious wiffle.
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Now, put in four cups of flour.
Put the cups in, too.
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Add sugar, milk, and lard. Mix them up.
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Are you mixing?
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My friends say I'm a good mixer.
Are you? Or aren't you?
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Now add five duck eggs.
Isn't that ducky? Or is it?
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Now put it in the iron and let it bake.
Are you baking? I'll wait.
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Now take the wiffle out, and eat the iron.
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You must have iron in your system.
Or should you?
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Now I'll leave you as my doctor friend
does, in stitches. Bye, folksies.
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Now you guys and gals, with a bit of
a pit in my heart, I give you...
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the First Lady of Hollywood.
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Thank you, Ben.
Now, ladies and gentlemen...
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I want you to meet my guest stars...
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- Jack Bunny.
- Hello again, folks.
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- Canary Livingston.
- Hello, folks.
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And Andy Bovine.
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Hello, folks.
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Who will present scenes
from the Warmer Brothers picture:
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The Prodigal's Return.
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A little music, Ben, to get us in the mood.
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- My boy.
- Howdy, Son.
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Howdy, Ma! Hi, Pa!
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That, ladies and gentlemen, was just one...
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of the thrilling, exciting scenes...
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from this wonderful picture.
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And now, it's time to say...
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Good night.
The Woodland Community Swing...
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peacefully terminates. All is well.
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English.
6085
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