Original subtitles

(wind starts blowing)

Downloaded from YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

(dramatic music starts)

- We all have a primal connection to the sea.

We're drawn to it for comfort, or out of fear.

For Taylor, I think it's where he went to be born again.

I also believe that a part of him went there to die.

(boat starts creaking)

(waves start to crash)

(music fades)

It's cold as hell.

(coughs)

Another storm's rolling in.

(thunder rumbles)

- Look at that, 12 Foot seas right now.

It's supposed to be picking up.

(boat continues creaking and clattering)

Yeah, here we are.

Fuck it.

(dramatic music starts)

(thunder roars)

(birds chirp)

Centuries ago,

there was a story written about a man coming home from war.

It's called the Odyssey, by Homer.

It's one of my biggest inspirations.

Odysseus spent 10 years at war overseas.

And at the end of it, Odysseus took off on a sailboat

with a bunch of his buds to get back home.

There's something to be said about man

or woman on the water.

(waves crash)

Turn the engine off and you can put up the sails

and you're connected to it all.

Your mind doesn't think about anything

other than harnessing the power of the wind.

- Taylor and I met in high school

and we became close friends on the swim team.

(whistle blows)

(water splashes)

His drive and stubbornness was always getting us

into trouble growing up, but that same tenacity is

what drove him to become Captain of the varsity swim team,

despite failing his freshman year tryouts.

Taylor came out for the team

and he just wasn't quite fast enough, you know?

And I said, you're just gonna get run over.

It's gonna be no fun. You're not gonna be keeping up.

You've got the heart, I can tell.

There's a club team over here, where if you go swim with

the club, you can train with a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds

'cause that's about your speed, right now.

And so, he's like, okay.

And he went and did that.

And then, by his senior year, he was

school record holder with the 400 freestyle, all-American.

That kid won't give up.

(laughs)

He won't give up on anything.

Taylor Grieger was my go-to motivational story

every time I had to cut a kid.

I'm cutting you now, but, you know,

put in the work, you can be like that guy.

And I would point to the board and I'd go,

see that name up there on the board?

That's who I'm talking about.

And now he's a Navy rescue swimmer.

(war sound effects)

- Taylor enlisted right out of high school.

And I went into academia.

We lost touch for a while,

but we reconnected about seven years later in Guam,

which is out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Taylor was stationed out there

and I went to do research for a book that I was writing.

Taylor was getting out in a few months and he didn't really

have anything lined up for him back home,

but he did have this wild dream to sail 10,000 miles

to the bottom of the world, to around Cape Horn.

(waves crashing)

And Cape Horn is the Mount Everest of sailing.

That was going to be his Odyssey.

Even though I had no sailing experience,

Taylor asked if I would go with him.

And that was crazy. I had no idea what to expect,

but I said yes.

This had the potential to be the adventure of a lifetime.

But I also knew that Taylor needed this.

He'd been diagnosed with PTSD and he was having a rough time

transitioning out of the military.

(radio crackles)

Taylor needed time and distance

to help process his experiences in the Navy.

(a sharp ding sounds)

(music continues)

- I didn't that it was gonna affect me that bad.

I didn't think I was going to have a hard time with it,

but I did.

I would drive around in my truck

and my heart rate started pumping.

I could feel my face heat up.

I would be shaken and tense, you know,

like I was about to get in a fight.

I'd start crying.

My emotions flooded out.

I wasn't in control of what was happening to my body.

It would just happen and I didn't know why.

- The way Taylor will describe it.

It's like driving a truck 70 miles an hour

and then slamming it into a brick wall.

(music fades to a stop)

I heard a couple people

talk about suicide before, you know, and, uh.

They're like, you know, that's so selfish.

How could you do something like that?

Everybody that cares about you, you leave behind, you know?

I don't think what anybody ever says out loud is,

I mean, those people,

I

was in so much pain.

You hurt all day.

And you see the worst things that

you can see in this world, every day of every second.

You know, everybody that I pulled from the water,

everybody that had lost their home,

and buddies that had killed themselves.

I see them every day.

And when your body's run away from you like that,

and it's trying to adjust into a new climate and new pace,

and you're in that much pain.

You don't want to live in this world anymore.

(waves crash)

Drank some tequila. Drank a lot of tequila

and ended up driving out to the beach.

(dramatic music starts)

I ended up putting my Glock to my head

and pulled the trigger.

And it didn't go off.

I took the round out. The firing pin went off.

There was a dent on the back of the bullet.

It should have exploded.

And after that, all I thought about was all the,

all my buds coming home and feeling like that.

That's all I thought about, man.

I don't want them to feel that alone, you know?

That they didn't have another option.

So, I wanted to find a way to give them an option

when they came back, you know?

I don't know why the round didn't go off.

How I wasn't meant to die then, you know? But,

I still think about it all the time.

Why the fuck didn't that bullet go off?

What am I still doing here? You know?

Was it a second chance?

- I got here with a dream that I've had

since I was a kid, man.

All I wanted to do was sail around the world,

see everything it had to offer.

There's something more than

Texas. You know? God bless Texas.

And now it's time to get the ball rolling.

(mechanical grinding)

- Personally, this trip, I've put everything into.

I'd put away money for nine years,

closed out all my credit cards.

All of it's in the boat

We call our boat the Old Lady.

We named her that because we needed her to take care of us

in the open ocean, but she was also really old.

Taylor had bought her used and

worked on her tirelessly for the better part of the year.

- Growing up, my grandpa, he had a boat take me out on him.

And so, I understood how boats worked.

But as far as the maintenance, I didn't know anything.

And I can seriously only credit that to YouTube.

After about 30 minutes,

the fiberglass is hard enough to sand smooth.

- I went to YouTube academy, learned it all there.

- And in this episode, we're going to explore

the complexity of fuel delivery and the Marine diesel.

(tools grinding)

Hours of YouTube.

Every single nut, screw,

bolt,

seam,

all of it, has been placed by us.

Not only builds a special bond we have with her.

We love this old lady.

But we're confident in, uh,

making sure she makes it to keep warm.

- Our plan is to cast off from Pensacola, Florida,

sail 10,000 nautical miles, 200 days at sea,

to reach the Southern most tip of South America,

the notorious Cape Horn.

Cape Horn harbor's the most treacherous waters

on the planet.

It's where the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans collide.

You get storms year round.

100 foot road waves

and Willa walls with hurricane force winds.

But, the journey to Cape Horn

was going to be the real challenge.

(waves crash)

(music fades to a stop)

(club music starts)

What's going on, bro?

(laughing)

Today's the day.

It is indeed.

(club music fades to a stop)

(dramatic music starts)

What's wrong with it?

(boat engine revs)

- We should have done more to prepare for this journey.

Really, we should've done it in a million dollar yacht

with a steel hull. But, you know?

I think that's one of the things you learn sailing.

That if you wait until you're ready,

your boat will never leave the Harbor.

I've thrown up twice, now.

That's how nervous I am. Never happened before in my life.

- We recruited Taylor's friend, Kell,

a fellow rescue swimmer,

to help us cross the Gulf of Mexico.

He'd been on deployments with Taylor

and they were stationed together in Guam.

I'm proud of you guys.

Some people, they're like, I have these great ideas.

But, most of the time, people don't follow through.

Of course, anyone who follows through looks crazy, man.

- The weather looks good. We have a cold front coming down.

That's gonna give us some weather,

but nothing you can't handle.

- I look forward to that moment that we just set sail

cause I know that, as soon as we're out there,

all the nerves are just gonna get flushed out.

(music transitions from dramatic to upbeat)

We're doing it.

- The opening to the Gulf is right ahead of us.

Once we pass that, we're in an open water,

heading for Mexico.

(waves crash)

It feels good.

You can just stare out at the horizon as you do it.

I love being a sailor, man.

(laughing)

(music stops)

What's going on?

- Barometric pressure is dropping.

We've got two huge cumulonimbus clouds,

which isn't your standard squall line.

Expecting a pretty good storm tonight.

Not one of those hits you and quits you types.

(wind roars)

Breaking news:

Hurricane Harvey barreling into the Texas coastline

as a category four storm with 130 mile an hour winds,

- - The strongest Atlantic hurricane in 10 years.

- What's the game plan for the storm?

Hold on to your butts.

- You're gonna sail right through it?

Heck, you can't go anywhere.

There's nowhere to go. Nowhere to go

out here in the middle of nowhere.

We're fucked.

(thunder crashes)

(dramatic music starts)

- We're 400 miles from shore in every direction

and we hit the mother of all storms.

- I was looking out at the horizon

and it was a wall of black, we were going right into.

(thunder roars)

You're not outrunning that storm.

- I was at the helm when the front of the storm hit us.

And, immediately, the mast was scraping the waves

that were rolling under us.

- There are waves crashing all over the bow.

Flooding the railings.

- And there was no time to put harnesses on or anything.

We were gonna lose the boat in that instant.

I looked over at Kell and I was like,

we gotta get that main down.

Put her into the wind!

Let's go!

(groans out of strain)

- In order to physically pull the sail down,

I had to turn the boat into the wind,

which was also into the swells.

And, right as I did that,

we went over the crest of this massive wave.

The entire bow of the boat submerged,

as we kind of crashed over it.

(waves crash)

We got hit by that wall of water and it was like

getting punched in the gut.

- Water flooded over the entire diping end.

And, when everything kind of settled,

Taylor and Kell were gone.

I thought they'd just been washed out to sea.

In a moment like that, time just freezes

and your mind is working so fast.

I thought I was just completely alone on the boat,

but, by some miracle,

they had both managed to grab a hold of lifelines as they

were being flung off the boat.

And just kind of like, this intense moment,

they both rose up at the exact same time.

(waves crash)

And then just continued hammering away at that mainsail.

- It was a survival storm, for us.

I really thought we were gonna die.

- We battled storms on and off for another three days,

after that one. I guess, that's what is to be expected

if you're crossing the Gulf of Mexico

in the middle of hurricane season.

(music stops)

And we just kinda had to push for Mexico.

- You're not prepared for everything.

All you can do is just take the storm

and keep on pushing through it.

The guys that come home from overseas

face much larger storms than we did.

They're going into a storm. They're not prepared at all.

They have no idea what's coming.

(dramatic music starts)

When I was in,

I saw a lot of my buddies getting out of military

and they were killing themselves, you know?

And it was always like, why?

(waves crash)

- Sick and tired of seeing all our friends die.

- While Taylor was in the military,

I had been interviewing combat veterans for my book.

I wanted to know why more soldiers are

dying by suicide than in combat.

(helicopter whirring)

And what I discovered is that most veterans are not prepared

for their transition out of the military.

We spend a months, sometimes years,

training these men and women to protect our country.

And at the end of their service,

all they really get to help them transition out

is a five day course called TAPs.

And that's clearly not enough to help prepare veterans

emotionally or physically for when they return home.

Their mind and their body need time to adjust.

- The horrible thing about it is it's not intellectual.

It's purely physical.

I suspect it probably just is endorphins

and adrenaline that you don't have anymore.

It's like trying to get off alcohol.

Your body wants it, even though you know it's bad.

- I have to try every day to remind myself

that I'm not a monster.

I did what I was trained to do.

I did everything right.

But, just the fact that I did it, is haunting in of itself.

- I get stressed out. I can feel it coming on.

I had one that, I got so stressed, it's just instant.

And I woke up in my bathroom covered in my own blood.

I've lost seven of the boys I deployed with.

I miss those guys, man.

The funniest guys you always wanted to be around

in the room.

They were infectious and intelligent.

Guys that could have been great for the States,

could have been assets, you know?

This world is less than without people like that in it.

And people like that are dropping out of this world

every single day, dude.

And I'm never going to stop thinking about 'em.

(music fades to a stop)

- That kid loves with a huge heart.

Once you're in his family,

that guy will literally lay down his life for you.

And, to him,

(dramatic music starts)

all the military guys are his family.

I wanted to sail,

but more so, I wanted to make sure that none of my buddies

getting out after me killed themselves.

We'd decided, let's try

and make this bigger than just ourselves.

How can we do this in a way that can help

more people than just us?

So from day one, we to kind of document this trip.

- To raise awareness, to build a community,

to show other guys

that they're not the only ones going through it.

- We set up a website and social media pages for

Skeleton Crew Sailing, so that friends, family,

and most importantly, veterans, could follow along

with our journey and see how Taylor was progressing.

- It's not the answer, but it's a start, you know?

The start of a conversation to say, you know?

We can fix this.

This kid pulls this off,

he's gonna change lives. He's gonna change lives.

Not just his, but others'.

(music fades to a stop)

- How are you feeling there, Taylor?

Alright, I see land.

(indistinct shouting)

(upbeat music starts)

- Look at that beautiful sight, dude!

(water splashes)

- Arriving in Cancun, and seeing land for the first time,

that was unlike anything.

We were alive.

We had undergone a baptism by fire

and we had come out stronger for it.

It was hard saying goodbye to Kell.

He had helped to train Taylor to become

a helicopter crew chief, but when Kell's contract ended,

he chose to stay in the military.

Kell saw a lot of the same problems as Taylor in Guam,

but the military worked for him.

He only had a few weeks leave for the whole year,

but he still flew down to help us cross the Gulf.

- Seeing Kell leave, after everything we'd been through,

that was rough.

It was awesome, having him out here, having my back,

you know? Transitioning into the civilian world.

He flew out here to help us with this cause.

There we go.

- Then, watching him get on a plane

and leave back into the military, left Stephen and I,

true Skeleton Crew, out here to battle the seas.

Yeah.

- We are currently rolling into Belize City, right now,

at the sunrise.

That's pretty cool.

(birds chirping)

- You're the prettiest with smelling pity in all the land.

This is how we live.

We don't want nothing to be too extravagant.

We just want to live comfortably

and be free in what we're doing.

(water splashes)

- We really started to hit our stride after Belize.

Taylor was at his best, behind the helm.

And this trip, you know?

As a form of decompression or transition,

it seemed to be working.

Even when storms hit,

which was pretty much every single day down there,

Taylor would deal with it.

- There's a 50% chance of rain today.

(laughing)

Might be a thunder storm, might not.

(thunder roars)

- Navigating, we're about to leave Belize City, right now.

We figured we deserve the chance to anchor more off of

the Great Blue Hole. That's where we're headed, right now.

It's awesome. You know?

It's on the top things to do in the world.

- The Great Blue Hole is this massive sinkhole

off the coast of Belize.

It's famous for having just crystalline waters that plummet

into the deep, with amazing fish and spectacular coral.

(music fades to a stop)

I'm pretty excited about it.

Stephen's pretty excited about it.

We'll be there probably tomorrow morning.

Right now, we're trying to navigate these coral reefs.

It's a little dicey, but nothing the Old Lady can't handle.

(boat creaks and beeps)

Oh, man.

Old Lady's pretty banged up.

And it all started with us crashing into

some coral reef.

I was at the bow, supposed to be guiding the boat,

we were riding the sun.

Just, all of a sudden, we were in five foot water. You know?

We're sailing across open ocean, you know?

And we've got holes in the boat.

Hi, man. How's it going?

Doing alright.

- Taylor's just kind of been giving me, you know?

One word responses,

I feel kinda guilty for fucking up the boat.

You know?

You holding up okay?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm just asking, dude.

You've been kinda quiet the past few days.

So, I don't know, like?

Miss my dogs, dude,

out here in the middle of these Goddamn storms.

(dramatic music starts)

- Here we are. Ocean is unforgiving.

I think Stephen's definitely starting to figure out that,

you make a mistake out here, you die.

(waves crash)

While we were in Honduras,

we got bogged down on the island of Roatán,

as two back-to-back tropical depressions struck the island.

We'd been on shore that night, drinking a little bit.

(chatter)

- I think Taylor just lost his patience

with the whole scenario, but it kind of got directed at me,

in that moment. And Taylor said, if you don't stop talking,

I'm gonna punch you in the face.

But I had a point to make,

so I kept talking and, sure enough, Taylor came at me.

(scuffling)

We scuffled a little bit.

And, I think, in all of the storms

and everything we'd been through,

that was one of the scariest moments.

In that moment, when you have somebody

who's been in the military for the past six years

come at you, like?

What am I supposed to do?

(music fades to a stop)

After the fight, we went back to the Old Lady

and we sat down and we talked about it.

And I said, if either of us swings

at each other again on this voyage, it is over.

We're not gonna make it around Cape Horn,

if we can't even get along at shore.

And Taylor agreed.

My best friend in the world punched me in the face

and that's alright.

What it comes down to is when you make a bad call

or you say a bad thing and uh, your true friends,

they'll always punch you in the face,

whenever you say something stupid.

And you can count on 'em for it.

Now, we're good, man.

(upbeat music starts)

(water splashes)

(birds chirp)

- We put the fight behind us and continued on to Panama.

But, I don't think we really grasped the extent

of the damage those storms had done to the Old Lady.

Our engine seized about a hundred miles off the coast of

Honduras and Nicaragua.

And there was nothing we could do to fix it out there.

So we had to sail 600 miles straight to Panama,

which had the only real repair facilities

on that side of Central America.

But, the thing about sailing without an engine,

(music fades to a stop)

is you need wind.

(water splashes)

We hit a doldrums area, where we went about a week,

where the only wind we got was from squall lines.

And they'd push us maybe like five or 10 miles,

and then the winds would die again.

And we'd be left there rocking for, usually, 12 hours.

(waves splash quietly)

Hello?

Where's your morale at?

Comes and goes.

Usually, it depends on how caffeinated I am

and how much sleep I've had.

But, right now, I'm going on about,

I had, three hours, last night, and then,

I had maybe an hour and a half, today, during the day.

But, still.

I'm pretty exhausted, man.

- Turned south and seeing Panama, right now, at two hundred

and 60 miles to go.

No engine,

all sails,

all the power's out on the boat.

We use these lights to see at night, if the moon's not out.

And our boats falling apart.

(laughs)

So, there's that.

(waves crash)

What saved us was a single night of very light winds,

that pushed us, just enough,

to get us within shouting distance of the coast of Panama.

(horn blares)

(water splashes)

And then we got towed in by Shelter Bay Marina.

(upbeat music starts)

We hunkered down in Panama to make some repairs.

(mechanical grinding)

And to ready the Old Lady for the rough seas that lay ahead.

- The boat's not in perfect shape, right now.

(mechanical grinding)

- We're going through the Canal, here, tomorrow.

- Crossing the Panama Canal, was something that Taylor

and I were both really excited about.

It's one of the seven wonders of the modern world.

And the Canal is a kind of rite of passage for sailors.

But, for us, it was our point of no return.

- Sailing this Old Lady, you know?

Into the Flats, right now.

- Hello there, Old Lady, you may proceed to the Flats.

(water splashes)

(indistinct chatter)

(laughing)

- We actually rafted-up next to the British army's boat

and it's completely run by active duty, British military.

Is it okay to come on board?

They welcomed us on their boat

and we immediately hit it off.

Had that connection.

(happy chatter and laughter)

The question came up:

what the hell are you guys doing out here?

What are you? You know? What are y'all about?

It was eye-opening to hear their story.

They're required to send a third of their unit on

an expedition: sailing, hiking, camping, kayaking,

you know, you name it.

And one of the guys was like, look, man,

the biggest deal is like, hey,

you gotta take care of your guys physically,

but you gotta make sure they're mentally stable

and they care about that and that's a big deal.

And it's talked about

and they breed that culture, you know?

You wanna be healthy, in and out.

Four,

five,

six,

seven...

- - The whole time I was talking to them, I was like,

what? Are you serious?

Like, this is real thing?

The United States doesn't have any program like that.

Dealing with veteran's suicides and homelessness

and alcoholic problems is very reactionary.

You know? We react to it.

So, veterans are killing themselves.

Okay. Well, maybe we need to give 'em counseling, you know?

Veterans are homeless.

Well, maybe we need to build them a home.

But, what happens if you prevented it?

(dramatic music starts)

What happens if you took care of guys

before they even got to that point?

- You guys have a safe journey, look after yourselves,

and congratulations again.

(indistinct chatter)

- I don't regret serving this country.

I think everybody in some capacity should work for the

country that they live in.

(indistinct chatter)

- So, being able to offer myself for the country

that I grew up in,

I will always be proud of. Always.

- Joined when I was 18 to be a rescue swimmer.

And the marketing campaign by the military is so awesome,

you don't think about anything, but actually saving people,

which is what I wanted to do.

Thought it would be pretty easy.

You'd be jumping in the water

and saving people and call it a day.

But it's a lot nastier than that.

80% of the calls that I got, you didn't find anybody.

There wasn't anybody left to bring home.

It wasn't out of the ordinary to fly 13 hour days,

every day.

I mean, you're popping caffeine pills just to stay awake.

So you can look at the water and you're looking for a little

speck from the sky, you know? And if you start dozing off,

you're not gonna see anything.

Couple months after I had gotten out and settled back into

civilian society,

I didn't know how to handle living at that slower pace.

(waves crash)

Yeah. The scariest moments were whenever I was

in air conditioning, house, with a roof over my head,

on a soft couch,

I was just sitting there and adrenaline just started pumping

through my body for no reason, man.

And I didn't know why.

And my body just ran away uncontrollably from me.

- PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder.

The kind of controversy today is that

PTSD is not a disorder.

It's kind of a natural reaction to being put

under loads of stress over long periods of time.

So it has physical changes on the brain and the body.

Chronic stress is when more cortisol is released

to the body, than can be absorbed.

Cortisol has been shown to kill brain cells

and to reduce the volume of areas of the brain,

like the prefrontal cortex and the hippocampus.

And the hippocampus deals with the emotions

like anger and fear.

And as the hippocampus shrinks, your ability to overcome

the fight or flight reaction dissolves.

I've been spending the past five years of my life

interviewing and researching combat veterans.

But something I didn't really anticipate was Taylor's story,

really kind of grabbing me by the throat a little bit,

because here was somebody who was displaying a similar

kind of trauma in response to some of his experiences.

And Taylor had never been to combat.

- Out of my entire out-processing or adjustment back into

the civilian world, he was the first one that said,

this is what you can expect.

- He got out of the military and nobody even mentioned PTSD.

His transition program, TAPs, had nothing to do with that,

'cause he never was, technically, in a combat zone despite,

Despite, you know, pulling dead bodies out of the water.

Despite serving in disaster relief missions.

And it was concerning to him because he didn't know if

he was the strange one.

In a recent study that involved over a million veterans,

so this is the height of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars,

non-combat veterans were more likely

to commit suicide than combat veterans.

(water splashes)

Alright. Just crossed over.

Over from Panama to Columbia.

So, we're officially in South America.

- After weeks of storms and doldrums in the Caribbean,

it was nice to have some steady sailing.

(water splashes)

- The change of pace from what we were sailing through

two weeks ago to now, is unreal.

Now, we're out here in dry weather

and the sun's always shining. Neither of us could really

(laughs)

make anything of this.

We're not gonna question it. You know what I'm saying?

- Alright. So, we are currently in Columbia.

Taylor, say hi!

Yo, yo, yo!

(laughing)

Columbia is beautiful.

Shame people avoid it.

(rattling)

(indistinct mumbling)

- The Guard at the Coast that's here told us that

only 10 sail boats arrived in all of the year 2017.

Thank you so much, sir.

Bye.

Have a nice trip.

Thank you very much, man.

- Sailing the Colombian coast took us longer

than we expected. The humbled current was especially strong

and the headwinds coming up from Ecuador

spun us around in circles.

- The wind's died on us a lot, the water's like glass,

but Stephen and I are just

happy as can be.

We're going to keep moseying along the coastline.

- We really didn't mind the slower pace.

It was a great break from the storms

and we did our best to enjoy it.

Yum!

Oh my God.

That's decent, dude.

Well done, sir.

Merry Christmas, dude.

Yeah, Merry Christmas.

- But as beautiful and pristine as our experience of the

Columbian Coast was, it came to us at a price.

(music becomes dramatic again)

(waves crash)

- The past couple nights, we've had boats run up on us

in the middle of the night.

You can hear it coming from miles away,

beating through the waves.

They come around and they start circling you.

That's some scary stuff.

- I'd dealt with a lot of pirates overseas

and I knew pirates were in these waters.

They hit us after sunset.

- We saw the bow light of, I presume, their mothership.

Saw a second light, kinda come on

and realized it was a spotlight, as you just get

this kind of beam sweeping over the waterline.

When you're out on the water, you see light like a needle.

And the most eerie thing that happened was:

the spotlight went out and then the bow-light went out,

back-to-back.

And then you just heard an outboard engine roar to life.

(engine roars)

At that point, they sent out a skiff to come chase us down.

We're just sitting ducks at this point, right?

'Cause it was clear skies, the moon was full.

So, our sails are glowing like a beacon of light

for these pirates.

We're hearing them come. We're hearing them come.

And I changed my direction, maybe like 90 degrees

and it wasn't catching the light as much.

The moon was bright enough to see the glint of

the metal machetes on their boat.

- As soon as the skiff was getting right next to us,

the first, like, line of cloud covers went over the moon

and it just got dark, and I immediately changed course,

you know? And heard the boat kind of zoom past us.

And then I heard it doing, like,

a spiraling search pattern behind us.

And that's when the rain just started pouring down.

And the wind picked up, so we started, like,

really cruising. And it was the happiest I think

I've ever been in my life to be in a storm.

(laughs)

(waves crash)

- Seas are getting bigger, steadily.

And we're holding about 7.4 knots, which is

one of the fastest speeds we've done this entire trip.

So, to actually have the Old Lady flying again is

it's a good feeling.

- With the pirates behind us and wind in our sails,

we were finally able to point our bow south.

And reaching the equator was another milestone,

but we were still less than halfway to Cape Horn.

- Woo! Just like that. The Southern Hemisphere.

Make our way to Ecuador which we're really

looking forward to 'cause there are

a couple repairs we need to make.

- Our starter at burnt-out, back in the Caribbean,

but we had a replacement shipped to us in Panama.

We were excited about not having to

hot-wire our engine anymore. Especially if we're going to be

battling the waves around Cape Horn.

Key is: don't shock yourself.

(engine sputters and revs up)

Every time!

(laughing)

- So, now we're in Bahia de Caraquez, in Ecuador.

Gonna be here for a week.

We gotta put the starter we got from Panama in.

And then provision for our next leg,

probably through Peru

and then down to Chile.

So, should be a quick little stop

and, we're up outta here.

(tools clicking)

What a pain in my ass.

(sighs of frustration)

I don't know what we're going to do, now.

(music stops)

Been putting on and taking off the wrong starter.

We ordered the right one, had the right ones shipped,

but somehow the wrong model got put into this box.

700 bucks down the drain.

(dramatic music starts)

So, that's that, we're stuck in Ecuador.

We reordered the starter,

but it took over a month to clear customs.

And I was worried about Taylor being landlocked and stuck at

that slower pace for weeks

being holed up tended to make things worse for him.

Thankfully, there's always work to be done on the Old Lady.

(spray paint can rattles and hisses)

- It's a fight. It's stressful to try and stay positive.

You know? Some days really hard to believe that

what you're doing is the right thing.

I question myself all the time.

Am I actually doing something here?

Is everything that I've given, gonna change anything?

(notification alerts beep)

- We were always grateful when we could

connect to the internet.

It made us feel useful to the people we were trying to help.

You know? One minute it would bring us stories of

their struggle and pain that we could relate to.

And, then the next,

it was delivering us some really great news.

(notification alerts beep)

(clattering)

Yeah, boy! It's Old Lady.

- We knew that we could never ask anyone to join us.

The risks were far too great, but John offered.

- So, here you are, man, Bahia de Caraquez.

What do you think of the Old Lady?

It's kinda

not what I expected.

Why? In what sense?

It's smaller.

(laughing)

- John was a friend of Taylor's from the Navy.

He wanted to help us in our final push for Cape Horn

and he'd just left the military.

He'd only been on terminal leave for two weeks.

- It's gonna make cruising a night and day difference

for us. Here, having John, you know?

- I hope so. 'Cause all I wanna do is help out.

- - Yeah.

- John's help was going to be huge for us in the

South Pacific. But, we also knew that John was

having a tough time adjusting to civilian life.

(water splashes)

He's experiencing the same challenges that Taylor did upon

leaving the Navy.

And, so we really hope this trip would help him too.

Woo!

- So you kinda sent us a message,

but why don't you kinda explain, like,

why did you want to come on this trip?

Uh.

See, towards the end, I was in a pretty rough place, so.

Two and a half weeks before I started terminal leave,

before where I'm at now. Before I went home.

Uh, yeah. I,

I, uh,

I had a nervous breakdown.

Sorry, guys.

You're good, man.

- - It's all good.

- - Take your time. Yeah.

I was suicidal, um.

And I,

I went to Medical the next day.

Excuse me.

Walked into the mental health clinic

and they sat me down,

gave me this huge questionnaire, turned it in, and,

you know, an hour passed by, two hours passed by.

Commander's in now, she's gonna see you in a little bit.

Hey, no worries. Just tryna talk to someone.

Just trying to get, you know?

The right steps, the right tools to fix myself.

It came about five o'clock in the evening

and a Corpsman came back down and said, hey, I'm sorry.

She doesn't wanna see you.

You need to go somewhere else. I was like, where?

Fleet and Family?

Where? She was like, no.

She said for you to wait for the VA.

I said, I'm still active duty. I don't need to go to the VA.

I'm still active duty for another two and a half months

from now.

And she said, well you only have a few weeks left

until you're on terminal leave. And then,

you're pretty much the VA's problem.

So, I just laughed. I just laughed.

I just said, that's, alright, well,

my life's falling apart now, so.

You know? What can you do?

- Yeah, that's some fucking bullshit, dude.

- I'm glad that you're here with us

because doing that shit alone,

that hurts. You know?

Yeah, it does.

- So, we've been here for two months.

Were planning on being here for a week

and then today's the day she's going in.

Freaking pumped. I'm excited.

I'm trying to make myself calm right now.

So I don't mess this up and break this brand new one.

- Don't mess this up. Don't mess this up.

(tools clatter)

(machinery clicks)

Alright, give it.

(engine roars and rattles)

Oh, man. She sounds good.

That's awesome.

Alright, cast off.

We're going!

- John brought a much needed second wind to our crew.

Hi.

Living in close quarters, John, is nothing new to you.

Just a refresher: keep all your shit in your space.

If not, it's going overboard.

- The plan was to sail 200 miles off shore to skip Peru

and to avoid getting caught up in

the Humboldt Current again.

Taylor predicted we'd reached Valparaiso, Chile,

after about three weeks at sea.

That would make this our longest stretch of sailing to date.

- We have a long leg ahead of us.

Right now is all about managing the nerves. Pumped.

I'm just worried about the boat.

I hope nothing breaks on her, while we're out there.

- We're out here in the middle of nowhere.

You feel like a civilian?

Oh, yeah. I guess so.

It's kinda a really weird period for me...

- - The longer we were at sea,

the more I'd find Taylor and John at the helm,

swapping stories from their deployments

(music stops)

and sharing their experiences of leaving the military.

- - Sailor for life.

- Six years and nine months of my life.

Proud of it and why I did it.

I wouldn't have Taylor, or my buds.

It's definitely been weird.

Yesterday was my last day of terminal leave.

So, technically out of the Navy, April 5th.

That first week seemed like it was never ending.

- - Yeah. You're running on. You're running on.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

- - Yeah.

- - And then you're out.

And then you driving around getting pissed off in traffic,

like, what the hell is going on right now?

- Getting to talk with him and tell him

what it was like for me when I was going out, you know?

And we'd compare stories. I'm like, dude,

I've had the same feeling. You know? That was really cool.

I wish I could have that talk with all the guys.

- And I know that this isn't who I am.

And I'm trying to get back to, I want to,

I want so badly to be that person again,

you know, be happy, or be better than I was.

Yeah. Yeah.

- That's what the last two and a half weeks

have been for me.

Every night, every day, it gets a little easier.

- It's definitely looking up for you.

(engine rattling)

(dramatic music starts)

(mechanical whirring)

The engine broke down.

We opened up the transmission.

Found the flywheel completely dissembled.

Oh, man. Here we are,

a little over a hundred nautical miles off shore.

Transmission decided to take a little walk about on us.

We're sailing now. How's it feel?

(laughing)

So, right now, we're about 120 miles, 130 miles from shore,

according to the chart.

We'll push for a week because we have the stores to do that.

And then that gives us three weeks

to make it back in to land.

(waves crash)

How's the day been?

- Pretty rough, pretty heavy seas,

swells are pretty big.

I don't think anybody's really gotten any sleep.

- To top it all off, we are currently being swept out to sea

by the Humboldt Current.

We're about 500 miles off the coast.

30 minutes, we'll be crossing into Chilean waters.

And we are

670 nautical miles off shore, right now.

A little over two weeks at sea.

Days have definitely all blended together.

- Every time the wind dies, you know?

You have no idea how long it's gonna last.

Is it gonna be an hour? Is it gonna be a day?

Or a week?

Your mind wants to go places that aren't,

necessarily, helpful to anybody.

All we can do is wait. You know?

- Spirits aren't as high as they usually are

on the Old Lady.

The water tanks are deplete.

So, we run off of five gallon jugs.

- We're pretty low on food right now.

We're down to just a few cans left.

Going through,

We're going through some hunger pains.

- We didn't know how long we were gonna be out there.

And we were just watching everything rot out on the boat.

So, we were really just wondering if we were gonna make it.

(whooshing)

Fire, fire, fire, fire!

(fire extinguisher hisses)

(fire crackles)

(music fades to a stop)

(waves roll)

Boat's leaking,

transmissions out, caught on fire last night.

It's time to call it.

We're pushing our luck. This boat's not gonna make it.

We can go to Valapariso to make repairs on the boat.

See if we can sell her down there.

I mean? Last night,

all I saw was the sparks catching all our diesel,

and then us blowing up.

We coulda had us die, and that was my fault, so.

We're not doing that anymore. It's time to go home.

(winds rages)

(birds chirping)

Here we are. We're off.

- Alright. Get on the helm. Let's get the hell outta here.

- Taylor shouldn't have sailed for Valdivia.

The Old Lady was falling to pieces

and in no state to be on the open ocean.

He had kicked John and I off the boat

because it wasn't safe.

But, you know?

Taylor was in a really rough place at that time.

Another one of his buddies back home

had just killed himself.

And on top of that, we were completely broke

and nothing seemed to be getting any better.

But I think Taylor kept going because he had to.

There we go. Woo!

I'm nervous as hell, right now.

I feel so damn sick, right now.

My God, I might actually throw up.

Body's shaking.

Oh, fuck me.

See how it goes.

(dramatic music starts)

First full day at sea.

Check that in the box.

These seas are rough, very rough, right now.

All the nerves from yesterday are gone.

I love being out here.

(winds roar)

Yeah, here we are.

It's cold as hell.

(coughing)

Another storm's rolling in.

I'm looking at 12 foot seas right now.

It's supposed to be picking up.

Fuck it.

It's beautiful morning out here, my God.

I've got hundreds of these birds flying all around the boat.

Coo! Coo!

I'm a bird too!

(cheering)

The cold just eats at your soul out here.

Part of me wants to keep on going to Cape Horn right now.

You know?

Every inch of me wants to just not go in to Valdivia

and go on to Cape Horn right now.

I just keep thinking about how all the boys are tired.

I'm gonna find a pot of gold!

Have you ever sailed through a rainbow before?

(cheering)

(wind roars)

The anchor fell off the bowsprit.

I was up there bent over the bow, hanging off the edge,

trying to get the anchor back on deck.

The boat took a nose dive right in the bottom of a wave.

Ate it.

It completely sucked.

Thought I was going overboard.

(horn blares)

- Alas! You have crossed into King Neptune's territory!

(horn blares)

(music becomes upbeat)

What can you do?

Damn, I hate that saying: what can you do?

You can get off your ass and you can

fucking do something about it. That's what you can do.

If I go home and another one of my friends kills himself

while I'm not out here doing something about it,

it's gonna eat me up.

Made it.

Land's in sight.

Last time I got some sleep was about two nights ago.

I can't stop smiling. It's cool to see land.

With everything me and the Old Lady have been through,

it's time for a break.

Alright.

So.

It doesn't make me feel any better

about leaving the Old Lady here,

but when you're all at options, it's all folks.

- A mutual love for water that started on their high school

swim team, has taken two college station men on a sailing

mission halfway around the world.

- We're excited right now to talk a little sailing with

Stephen O'Shay and Taylor Grieger in the middle of one heck

of an adventure and a story worth sharing.

- Their journey doubled as a mission for veterans.

- Too many veterans have taken their lives.

We're sailing the most dangerous waters in the world

to bring awareness to what's going on in the States.

- You wanted to do this adventure and then come back

and then tell the story. But, that's not what happened.

- The boat needs some major repairs.

- We've finished, basically, 90% of the journey so far.

And, so we're trying to raise money just to

finish this last bit.

And that's why we started our Kickstarter campaign.

- So, you're raising awareness and people can help you out.

They can go to your website and help donate and learn more

and get involved.

- We're tryna make this as big as possible.

We can sit here all day

and talk about what's being done for veterans,

but we can talk so much more about

what isn't being done for veterans.

- Every day, suicide claims the lives of

more than 20 veterans.

- What do you want our listeners to move forward in,

if they are really feeling compelled by this cause?

- I think policy change is a big one, you know?

And there needs to be programs

to let veterans decompress when they get back.

We're gonna make sure nobody getting out of the military

is wondering what's going on with his body.

- If you're so moved, support what they have going on.

- And raise awareness for what millions of Americans

deal with having gone and fought for our country.

- There's an end to the storm that you're doing.

(rattling)

Just like we left her.

(laughing)

There's no mold.

Alright!

So, that's good

- - That's a start.

- - Fricking pumped. I'm freaking excited.

- Yeah. Still cleaning up the ashes.

(rumbling)

- The attitude that we have now, as opposed to when we left,

is night and day difference.

We're holed up.

- We're so stoked, I even bought little hand towels.

(laughing)

It's gonna look good.

Johnny boy made it.

- So, John just got in, today. After 59 hours of travel.

Excited to be back,

I missed the old girl.

So, this is where we'll be coming in.

Uh huh. That's the goal.

It's what we've been working on for two years, now.

Here we are. At the doorstep.

(indistinct chatter)

- It's kinda surreal, still, you know?

Feels fricking good, man.

The salt running on your skin again?

Salty sailors, again?

God, all of it, man.

Whenever I left,

I was scared there wouldn't be a chance we'd come back.

You know? We didn't have a dime to our name

or any way to keep this thing going,

but to be motoring out of the same river

that I motored up defeated, feels awesome.

(waves crash)

(music stops)

(coughing)

Goddamn! Goddamn!

First time being seasick in my life.

Pray to the big man, hopefully it's gonna happen again.

Yeah.

It's just the beginning, so.

Nice set of swells, right now.

About 20 foot seas, on average, right now.

They're about 15, 20 feet, 30, 40 last wind.

It's been pretty crazy.

(indistinct shouting)

I was done last night.

It might have been the seas we were in,

my body just was like, alright, I'm resting.

I feel it today, for sure.

That's what I tell everybody on land.

They're like, what's the hardest thing?

I was like, dude, the hardest thing is stopping

and starting. Is going on land for three weeks

and then you come back and your hands are just soft

and the muscles just, you know, deep linked

from pulling lines and holding on to the boat

'cause all your stabilizer muscles work all day long.

So, for those not to be worked for three months,

we're all feeling it right now.

It's pretty chilly out here.

Where it's pretty big seas, right now.

It's really cold on the water, out in the Pacific.

All that water is coming up from Antarctica

and then all the winds as well, so it's chilly.

- You know, I was always kind of uncomfortable,

but it becomes the new normal.

Right now, it's not too bad.

We've her, like, up to here.

Whew! The Old Lady, she's a tank,

but she's not known for her,

- - Her elegance.

Her elegance. Yeah.

(laughing)

- It's good to be back in it. It's what I came out here for.

To kick ass.

Now, we're gonna get a little wet.

We're gonna have some fun, while we're at it.

(dramatic music starts)

- We've been out on the water for three days, now.

And it's been intense.

It's pretty much what we expected.

Just that for me personally, I'm just trying to be here.

You know? Not trying to let my mind go off anywhere else.

- The swells were rolling in behind us and breaking over us.

When the wind is that strong, you know?

It's just like PHEW! Just blowing everything to smithereens.

We were kinda sitting ducks for these waves that were just,

like, plowing into the boat.

It was a roller coaster.

(wind roars)

(waves crash)

The wind was so strong that the block holding

our spinnaker pole shattered.

And the pole started slamming round

and we needed to fix it right away,

or we'd risk losing our headsail.

And being in those seas without a headsail, hey, I mean?

That would've been a death sentence.

- We gotta take care of the Old Lady.

She takes care of us, the world keeps going 'round.

What's gonna have to happen is:

we're gonna have to go up the mast,

secure the spinnaker pole.

It's only gonna get worse from here, so

we're gonna do it, gonna do it right, gotta do it now.

(intensity of music picks up)

(waves crash)

(indistinct shouting)

Oh! Big wave! Hang up, buddy!

(crashing and clattering)

Oh! Fuck!

(waves crash)

Okay!

Holy shit, we're alive.

(cheering and laughing)

- We close our eyes and pray and Taylor

pulls off some kind of miracle.

I'm not doing it again!

(laughter and cheering)

I can't believe that happened!

(laughter and cheering continues)

- You know? there have been these terrifying moments.

But, not only do you feel completely alive,

but you also feel more competent, like, you've pushed

beyond the limits of what you thought you could handle

and you came out on the other side.

(laughing)

(music stops)

The last three or four days,

I have had a smile on my face, nonstop.

You guys have seen it, eh?

Once in a lifetime.

It's so cool.

- Dude. We went through hell getting here.

Like, we earned it.

And I don't think I'd be able to appreciate this moment,

if it was smooth sailing all the way down here.

It's just been a

progressive year for me, and for all of us, man.

Started off really fucking alone. Come a long way.

- We didn't plan on sailing into the Magellan Strait.

It's about 200 miles from Cape Horn and the canals

and waterways pointing south from there can be treacherous.

But, once we saw the raw

and unbelievable beauty of Patagonia,

we couldn't turn away.

(upbeat gospel music starts)

One hell of a view.

(music becomes more dramatic)

What is going on right now?

Man, we're sailed into glaciers.

It's incredible. It's amazing.

Sights that a handful of people have ever seen

in this world.

I feel like a kid.

(laughing and cheering)

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for

that lowest moment in my life,

I wouldn't be chasing these things because you really

realize how fragile this world is.

And, so when you come back from something like that,

you don't let anything stop you.

And you chase everything you can in this world

because you're alive in it.

(music fades to a stop)

Merry Christmas, homies.

(cheering)

- We reached Puerto Williams! Merry Christmas.

(engine rumbles)

Feels unreal being down here.

Everything we've been through, where we left from.

Now we're sitting at the doorway, you know? Right there.

- Alright. We just got to Puerto Williams,

but it looks like we've got a weather window to shoot

around Cape Hore. So, we're gonna try and take it.

It's on, baby.

It's Cape Horn day, man.

It's Cape Horn day.

Oh, boy.

- How's that water look for Cape Horn?

- It's looks good. It really does look good.

(horn blares)

- Haven't had water this flat since we got here.

- Makes me nervous. It's too good to be true.

Much to good to be true.

(upbeat music starts)

Port, stern's up.

All bow lines are up.

The Old Lady's ready to rip.

Have a good trip there.

Alright, guys.

Bye.

Thanks. Safe travels, guys.

My hands are shaking.

My heart's racing.

- How often does the weather window like this come down?

- Maybe twice a season, twice a season,

we get a weather window like this.

- At the end of the day, it's Cape Horn.

So, the weather is very unpredictable.

It's anybody's guess, what mother nature throws at us,

once we get out there.

Say a prayer, John?

God be with us.

- We're between South America and Antarctica, right now.

(laughs)

Which is pretty sweet.

This was a huge moment.

I'm not letting myself run away until we get to Cape Horn.

(music stops)

- The wind's picking up a little bit, so

choppy seas.

- This weather's all over the place.

(thunder roars)

Damn, man.

I was fucking hoping for sunny skies and calm seas.

Was looking like that all day.

- Now we're healing over 50 degrees, 35 knots of wind.

10 foot seas,

- - and rising.

All in a matter of 10 minutes.

- Exactly what we were trying to avoid. You know?

You look at all the weather windows,

you talk to all the other cruisers.

We might not even be able to see it now, you know?

Cape Horn is right there.

They can't even see us yet.

(indistinct mumbling)

One fucking break.

- It's our entire expedition trip.

Every time we've been on the water.

I don't know, you cranky?

- Yes, you do everything you can.

And you get fucked.

Every fucking time.

I wanted this day to be for all those dudes who came back,

fought every fucking day, fucking hurt every fucking day.

Maybe they could see that we'd get a fucking break.

Fucking broke my heart, man.

My career is dead, dude.

Ugh! I fucked up. It's my fault, man.

Oh, you can almost.

Oh! You can see her!

Man, you can see Cape Horn!

(horn blares)

(upbeat music starts)

- It's clearing up. This must be clearing up.

(cheering)

Cape fucking Horn.

(horn blares)

(laughing)

Oh! Fuck, yes, you can.

- Well, boys. This is when Captain Grieg eats his words.

It's like God gave us a break after all.

(laughing)

Alright, so. The flag here,

it's a thoughts forever flag.

Oh, man. In the heart quick.

- This flag was given to Taylor by his friend, Mac, a doctor

who did critical care medical transports in the air force.

Mac carried this flag on a mission out of Afghanistan on

veterans day in 2007,

with three critically wounded soldiers

and seven flag draped caskets.

I want us fly this flag,

it's to honor a

good friend Master Sergeant Beret,

who committed suicide, so.

We're gonna fly his flag.

Yup, we're gonna fly his flag on Cape Horn.

Hopefully to

do our part and to

show honor to our members, for all their closest

that were stripped.

(indistinct chatter)

- It's about his family, given family,

(indistinct muttering)

Everything we've been through the past three years,

we did for them.

So, what am I up to now?

I'm really enjoying spending time with my family.

I have a really great relationship with my bride, Samantha,

and we've got a baby girl on the way.

So, that's really cool.

She's going to be an awesome sailor.

I use the old GI bill to pay the bills for the apartment,

which is nice.

It's a good way to get on your feet by figuring out,

you know, what you want to do.

I do currently go to Tech St in Galveston

and I've started a new business to fund veteran expeditions.

I think there's two things I'm great at in this world

and that's sailing and tequila.

So, how do we use that for sailing expeditions?

You create the best keel on the world to ultimately fund

these expeditions.

I have a fleet of boats with licensed captains,

you take 15 guys on the boat

and you take mental health professionals.

You create a life-changing experience for everybody.

If I could get those guys on the water,

I think it gives them a different perspective.

(waves crash)

(cheering)

You feel alive, out here on the water. You know?

You're a part of it all. You're working with the winds,

you're working with water, you know?

She beats you down, but, at the same time,

she rewards you, when the sun comes out.

And it's just a ray of sunlight coming out over a glacier.

This is my next Cape Horn.

(music continues)

(music fades)