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1
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,477
♪ FROZEN IN A TIME AND SPACE ♪
2
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,448
♪ DIVIDE ♪
3
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,483
♪ BUT HOW ♪
4
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,585
♪ WOULD THE UNIVERSE ♪
5
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:22,223
♪ SURVIVE? ♪
6
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:27,290
♪ DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24TH AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪
7
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,435
♪ PROTECTING THE POWERLESS ♪
8
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:39,040
♪ AND THE WEAK ♪
9
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:43,510
♪ DUCK DODGERS, HE'S FIGHTING ♪
10
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:47,648
♪ TYRANNY ♪
11
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,750
♪ IN THE 24TH ♪
12
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:53,867
♪ AND 1/2 CENTURY ♪
13
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,343
- THIS IS DOCTOR I.Q. HI
CALLING DUCK DODGERS.
14
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,711
COME IN, DUCK DODGERS.
15
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,812
(SNORING)
16
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,046
- DODGERS!!!
- AHHH!
17
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,081
(CRASH)
18
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,216
- LOOK AT YOU.
19
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,651
LACKADAISICAL ATTITUDE,
ATROCIOUS EATING HABITS.
20
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,020
- (BURP)
21
00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,988
- QUESTIONABLE HEALTH.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
22
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:30,657
I'M IN THE BEST SHAPE
OF MY LIFE.
23
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,260
(SLOSHING)
24
00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:35,896
- REPORT TO MY LAB AT 7:00 A.M.
SHARP TOMORROW MORNING.
25
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:38,665
- HMMM, 7:00
MIGHT BE TRICKY FOR ME.
26
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,434
HOW ABOUT 11:00?
27
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,802
ISH.
28
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,819
7:00 IS GOOD.
29
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,655
- DODGERS, I CAN'T STOP YOU
30
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,224
FROM BEING
A WASHOUT ON YOUR TIME,
31
00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:05,893
BUT WHEN YOU'RE FORCED
TO SHARE A SEAT IT WOULD BE NICE
32
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,229
IF YOU'D AT LEAST ATTEMPT
TO ACT LIKE AN OFFICER.
33
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,064
YOU KNOW,
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
34
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:14,201
I'D SAY YOU HAVE SOME DOUBTS
ABOUT MY CAPTAING ABILITIES.
35
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,104
- I THINK YOU ARE
COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT.
36
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,772
- IT'S JUST TOO BAD
YOU DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE
37
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,341
TO SPEAK YOUR MIND.
38
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:22,510
- YOU'RE A DANGER TO YOURSELF
AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU!
39
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:25,679
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT YOU REALLY THINK, JOHNSON?
40
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,348
OR ARE YOU TOO SCARED?
41
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,851
- A DISGRACE TO ALL
WHO WEAR THE UNIFORM.
42
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,719
A BIOLOGICAL MISTAKE.
43
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,188
- OH, DON'T TRY
TO SWEET TALK ME NOW.
44
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:37,158
IT'S TOO LATE.
45
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:41,061
- THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU NOW.
46
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,164
- GOOD MORNING GENTLEMEN...
DODGERS.
47
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,600
AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED,
I HAVE DEVELOPED
48
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:49,069
A BIOGENETIC PURIFICATION
AND DETOXIFICATION SYSTEM
49
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,072
TO FILTER AND ERADICATE
BODILY POLLUTANTS
50
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:55,676
AND REPAIR CELLULAR DAMAGE.
51
00:02:55,742 --> 00:03:00,392
IT EXTRACTS
YOUR BODY'S TOXINS?
52
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,415
BAD GO, GOOD STAY.
53
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,552
- OH, IN THAT CASE, HOOK ME UP.
54
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,221
I ATE A MARSHMALLOW
AND CHILI FRIES PIZZA LAST NIGHT
55
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,291
THAT FOR SOME STRANGE REASON
LEFT ME QUEASY.
56
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,560
- I MUST WARN YOU,
57
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,929
SO FAR THE PURIFIER
HAS ONLY BEEN TESTED ON ANIMALS,
58
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:20,034
BUT THE ANIMALS SEEM FINE.
59
00:03:20,101 --> 00:03:21,869
- I VOLUNTEER TO BE
A TEST SUBJECT.
60
00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,471
FOR THE PROTECTORATE.
61
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:28,538
- IF THIS THING MELTS MY BRAIN,
I GET A PAY BUMP, RIGHT?
62
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,414
- WELL?
63
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,285
- I FEEL FANTASTIC!
64
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,820
EVEN THE KNEE I INJURED
PLAYING ROCKETBALL IN COLLEGE
65
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,821
FEELS BRAND NEW.
66
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,822
- WONDERFUL.
67
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,739
NOW, THE REAL TEST.
68
00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,012
- (SCREAMING)
69
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,519
- HA HA HA HA!
- AHA HA HA HA!
70
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,687
(DODGERS SCREAMING)
71
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,504
- OH.
72
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,434
UH, DODGERS,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD REST FOR A BIT.
73
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,969
- I CAN'T, SIR.
74
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,371
PROTECTING THE GALAXY
AND ALL OF ITS INHABITANTS
75
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,640
IS AN EXTRAORDINARY
RESPONSIBILITY.
76
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,109
IF EVERY SINGLE BEING
ENTRUSTED TO MY CARE
77
00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:38,179
ISN'T RESTING EASY, HOW CAN I?
78
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,748
SEE YOU UP THERE, CAPTAIN.
79
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,483
- WHO WAS THAT?
80
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,100
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
81
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,559
- SIR, YOU HAVE PECS.
82
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,395
- IT'S THE CAPTAIN'S OBLIGATION
83
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,198
TO BE SOUND IN MIND
AND BODY, CADET.
84
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:01,935
- HA HA HA HA HA HA!
GOOD ONE, SIR.
85
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,104
I HAVE YOUR SCHEDULE FOR TODAY.
86
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,340
YOU START WITH A 45-MINUTE NAP,
87
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,742
FOLLOWED BY
A 15-MINUTE POST-NAP NAP,
88
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,878
A QUICK STEAM, A LONG STEAM,
89
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,947
NACHO BREAK,
POST-NACHO BREAK NAP...
90
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,282
- NO MORE SHIRKING DUTIES.
91
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:18,052
TODAY WE'RE
GOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
92
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:23,118
- WHO ARE YOU, SERIOUSLY?
WHERE'S CAPTAIN DODGERS?
93
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,195
- HMMMM.
94
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,930
THAT'S AN EXPLODICON SHIP.
95
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,333
LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT ANOTHER
EXPLOSIVE SMUGGLER.
96
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,034
PULL UP NEXT TO THEM AND...
97
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,637
- GREETINGS, CAPTAIN,
LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE A HAND.
98
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,139
- ACTUALLY, NO, WE CAN HANDLE...
99
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,975
- MY PLEASURE.
DODGERS OUT.
100
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,992
- (GRUMBLING)
101
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:53,020
- I'M AFRAID I MUST INSIST
THAT YOU RETURN TO EXPLODICON
102
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,423
OR FACE IMMEDIATE ARREST.
103
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,692
- FOR HAULING
COMPLETELY HARMLESS BABY FOOD?
104
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,609
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
105
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,699
(BOOM)
106
00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:14,507
- LET'S MOVE ALONG, CADET.
THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
107
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,210
- BUT, SIR, THE COLORS.
108
00:06:16,277 --> 00:06:17,211
- NO TIME TO DAWDLE.
109
00:06:17,278 --> 00:06:21,682
THE UNIVERSE IS COUNTING ON US.
110
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:24,585
- AS YOU CAN SEE,
AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT
111
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:28,623
THE PROBABILITY
OF DODGERS BEING ASLEEP IS 97%.
112
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,691
-SO, BASICALLY, WE...
- GREETINGS.
113
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,427
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT
YOUR SECRET MEETING.
114
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,897
I REALIZE THIS MAY BE
SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX,
115
00:06:35,964 --> 00:06:39,500
BUT SINCE YOU REPRESENT
THE PRIMARY THREAT TO EARTH,
116
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,402
I FELT IT WAS
ONLY FAIR TO WARN YOU
117
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:44,238
THAT I NO LONGER TAKE NAPS.
118
00:06:44,305 --> 00:06:45,605
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
119
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,607
DODGERS OUT.
120
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,876
- WHO WAS THAT?
121
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,378
- IT CAN'T BE.
122
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,713
SOMEHOW DODGERS
HAS ACQUIRED THE PERFECT BODY
123
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,182
TO MATCH HIS PERFECT MIND.
124
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,184
WE'RE DOOMED.
125
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,852
- I WOULDN'T SAY PERFECT.
126
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:02,589
CHISELED, SURE,
BUT NOT PERFECT.
127
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,659
HEE HEE HEE...
128
00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:07,562
- DODGERS, I HAVE A VERY
IMPORTANT MISSION FOR YOU.
129
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,364
AMBASSADORS
FROM FELINIA AND CANINUS
130
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:12,666
ARE MEETING
FOR A HISTORIC SUMMIT.
131
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:13,767
- THE SUMMIT IS OFF.
132
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,536
I BROKERED A TREATY HOURS AGO.
133
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:18,406
- WELL, I GUESS THAT BRINGS US
TO YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT:
134
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,373
RECOVERING THE GEM OF RE...
135
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,641
- SIR, IT'S ON YOUR DESK.
136
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,578
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,
137
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:27,314
BUT I ALSO HANDED OUT MISSIONS
TO THE OTHER CAPTAINS.
138
00:07:27,381 --> 00:07:28,949
- OF COURSE I MIND!
139
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,285
HANDING OUT MISSIONS
IS MY JOB.
140
00:07:31,352 --> 00:07:32,620
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?
141
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:35,989
- YOU COULD TAKE A NAP
LIKE THE CADET.
142
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,992
(SNORING)
143
00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:41,728
- I CALLED YOU ALL HERE TO
DISCUSS THE DODGERS DILEMMA.
144
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,130
- WHY IS IT A DILEMMA FOR YOU
145
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,232
THAT YOU'VE MADE
YOUR GREATEST CAPTAIN
146
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:49,503
EVEN GREATER?
147
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,372
- SHE MEANS
CAPTAIN DODGERS, SIR.
148
00:07:51,439 --> 00:07:53,808
- OH, WELL, SEE FOR YOURSELVES.
149
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:56,510
- DUCK DODGERS,
GALACTIC PROTECTORATE CAPTAIN
150
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,580
WHO THINKS OVERSLEEPING
IS NO QUACKING MATTER.
151
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,449
COMBATING WHAT HE CALLS
A LAZINESS EPIDEMIC,
152
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,917
DODGERS HAS
VOWED TO WAKE
153
00:08:02,984 --> 00:08:06,921
EVEN THE HEAVIEST SLEEPERS
IN THE GALAXY AT DAWN,
154
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:11,158
NO MATTER WHERE THEY ARE
OR HOW TIRED THEY MAY BE.
155
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:14,061
(YAWNING)
156
00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,730
- WE'LL HEAR YOU OUT.
157
00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:18,566
- THE OLD DODGERS MAY HAVE BEEN
LAZY, UNRELIABLE, ARGUMENTATIVE,
158
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,667
UNAPPEALING,
BAD AT MATH, SLOPPY...
159
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,668
- UH, SIR.
160
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:23,604
- YOU GET THE IDEA.
161
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,340
ONE MORE...
HE HAD TERRIBLE GROOMING HABITS.
162
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,675
THIS DODGERS, HOWEVER,
IS TOO HELPFUL.
163
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,810
- TOO POLITE.
164
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,445
- MUCH TOO FOCUSED.
165
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,314
- DARE I SAY IT?
TOO WELL-GROOMED.
166
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,983
- THEN IT'S AGREED.
167
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:38,452
WE ALL PREFER THE OLD DODGERS,
SO HOW DO WE GET HIM BACK?
168
00:08:38,519 --> 00:08:40,488
- THE ONLY WAY
TO RESTORE DODGER'S
169
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,689
UNDESIRABLE CHARACTERISTICS
170
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:44,158
IS TO RE-TOXIFY HIM.
171
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,059
BUT HIS PURIFICATION
BECOMES PERMANENT
172
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,461
AFTER 24 HOURS.
173
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:50,230
AFTER 7:00 A.M. TOMORROW
FIT AND INTELLIGENT
174
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,533
WILL BE DODGERS NATURAL STATE.
175
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,368
AS IMPOSSIBLE AS THAT SOUNDS.
176
00:08:54,435 --> 00:08:58,339
- WE'LL HAVE TO OPERATE AS ONE
WITH FLAWLESS PRECISION,
177
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,608
LIKE A MILITARY STRIKE TEAM.
178
00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,910
- IS THERE ANY WAY
YOU COULD GIVE ME MUSCLES?
179
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,780
BIGGER MUSCLES, I MEAN.
180
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,449
- IT'S SIMPLE, DODGERS.
181
00:09:08,516 --> 00:09:11,285
YOU'LL BE PARTICIPATING IN
A CULTURAL EXCHANGE WITH MARS.
182
00:09:11,352 --> 00:09:13,721
I'LL OBSERVE AS YOU,
THE CADET, AND STAR JOHNSON
183
00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,922
INTERACT WITH THE QUEEN
AND COMMANDER
184
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,525
IN A SOCIAL CAPACITY.
185
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,127
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHARE
YOUR FAVORITE LEISURE ACTIVITIES
186
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,562
WITH THE OTHERS.
187
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,798
LIKE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES,
EATING ONION RINGS,
188
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:26,701
AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES
WHILE EATING ONION RINGS.
189
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,670
- I NO LONGER HAVE ANY INTEREST
IN THOSE ACTIVITIES.
190
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,473
WORK PERMITTING,
I ENJOY READING NONFICTION,
191
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,841
GOURMET CUISINE,
AND RECREATIONAL GEOMETRY.
192
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,377
IF THAT INTERESTS ANY OF YOU,
193
00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:41,443
YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN ME
IN THE SHIP'S NEW LIBRARY.
194
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,268
OH.
195
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,336
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
196
00:10:02,403 --> 00:10:04,705
- NEUTRALIZING THE TARGET.
197
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,174
- WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
MAKE HIM PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
198
00:10:07,241 --> 00:10:11,591
- OH, SORRY.
LOOK, HE'S FINE.
199
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,320
- GO ON AMP ONE.
200
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:23,857
- GO ON AMP TWO.
201
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,794
(FEEDBACK, ROARING GUITAR)
202
00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:31,861
- IT'S ONLY ROCK N' ROLL,
BUT I DON'T LIKE IT.
203
00:10:33,935 --> 00:10:38,935
TO ENEMIES, FRIENDS,
RIVALS, AND SUPERIORS,
204
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808
MAY WE WORK HARD, REST NEVER,
205
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:45,875
AND SLEEP ONLY WHEN REQUIRED
BY PROTECTORATE CODE.
206
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:51,218
ALL THIS FOOD
IS MAKING ME HUNGRY.
207
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:54,522
FOR TRAINING.
208
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,190
- I'M AFRAID
WE NOW HAVE NO CHOICE
209
00:10:56,256 --> 00:11:00,906
BUT TO TAKE
MORE DRASTIC STEPS.
210
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,466
OH, OK.
211
00:11:05,533 --> 00:11:06,968
I RECONFIGURED THE WIND TUNNEL
212
00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:09,903
TO ACCELERATE ABSORPTION
OF EVERY BODILY POLLUTANT
213
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,238
I COULD FIND.
214
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:14,341
PUT SIMPLY,
I PUT DODGERS IN A JUNK TORNADO.
215
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,442
- IS THIS GOING TO WORK?
216
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:16,477
- WHO CAN SAY?
217
00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:19,880
SCIENCE IS AN INEXACT, UH...
218
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:20,881
SCIENCE.
219
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,716
- WELL, IS IT SAFE?
220
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:23,551
- SAFE ENOUGH.
221
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:25,567
- AAH!
(THUD)
222
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:34,161
- MORNING, DODGERS.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
223
00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:36,330
- I COULD GO FOR SOME BREAKFAST.
224
00:11:36,397 --> 00:11:37,998
- (CHEERING)
225
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:42,436
- WHO'S UP FOR ONION RINGS?
226
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:43,938
BOY, THESE GUYS REALLY NEED
227
00:11:44,005 --> 00:11:46,940
TO START TAKING
BETTER CARE OF THEMSELVES.
16083
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