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1
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,743
* FROZEN
IN A TIME AND SPACE *
2
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:12,046
* DIVIDE
3
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,816
* BUT HOW
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,885
* WOULD THE UNIVERSE
5
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,454
* SURVIVE?
6
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:28,062
* DUCK DODGERS OF THE 24th
AND 1/2 CENTURY *
7
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,668
* PROTECTING THE POWERLESS
8
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,537
* AND THE WEAK
9
00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:42,743
* DUCK DODGERS,
HE'S FIGHTING *
10
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,645
* TYRANNY
11
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,083
* IN THE 24th
12
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:57,725
* AND 1/2 CENTURY
13
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:23,617
AAH!
14
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,665
UH-OH.
15
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,799
DEAD END.
16
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,534
NOT GOOD.
17
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:50,544
HEY THERE, SWEET STUFF.
18
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,915
PREPARE TO MEET
THY DOOM, DUCK DODGERS.
19
00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:56,884
[GRUNTING]
20
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,253
PRETTY FANCY MOVES
THERE, BABY,
21
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,889
BUT YOU COMPLETELY MISSED ME.
22
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,960
OK, YOU MOSTLY MISSED ME.
23
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:10,164
EVEN AS A ROBOT,
HE'S ANNOYING.
24
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:13,267
OH, THAT WAS JUST PEACHY,
MY QUEEN.
25
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,903
A SIMPLY DUCKY DECAPITATION.
26
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,172
IF ONLY IT WERE
THE REAL THING.
27
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,309
CAREFUL WITH THE CABEZA.
I HAVE A SOFT PALATE.
28
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,043
GLAD TO OBLIGE.
29
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,812
WHOA!
30
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,348
OUCH! OOH! OUCH! OH!
31
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,283
BEGGING YOUR PARDON,
MY QUEEN,
32
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,385
BUT I THOUGHT
YOU WERE OVER HIM.
33
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,687
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY,
COMMANDER--
34
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,290
A STORY OF BETRAYAL
AND LIES
35
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,626
AND A WOMAN'S HEART
TORN ASUNDER.
36
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,129
LET ME TELL YOU OF
A CONSORT'S THRONE
LEFT VACANT,
37
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,565
A BRIDAL CHAMBER
LEFT BARREN,
38
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:50,638
AND A RECEPTION HALL
LEFT FILLED WITH
THEM BIG SHRIMP.
39
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,806
I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
40
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:56,777
BUT NOW I WILL HAVE MY
RICHLY DESERVED REVENGE.
41
00:02:56,844 --> 00:03:01,782
I, MYSELF, WILL
HUMILIATE DUCK DODGERS
AS HE HUMILIATED ME.
42
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,717
AND WHEN THE WRETCH
BEGS FOR MERCY,
43
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:07,321
HE SHALL RECEIVE NAUGHT
BUT THE HEEL OF MY FOOT
44
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:11,191
AND MY LAUGH
OF BITTER CONTEMPT.
45
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,061
Voice: HA HA HA!
46
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:17,598
HAPPY CAT SAY
TIME TO WAKE UP!
47
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,333
HA HA HA!
48
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,235
YOU THINK HAPPY CAT
KIDDING?
49
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,103
HA HA HA!
50
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:26,907
WAKEY WAKEY,
SNOOZY DUCK!
51
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,576
HA HA HA!
52
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:32,946
THAT CADET BUYS
THE WORST CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
53
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,448
YO, CADET,
54
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,849
HOW ABOUT WORKING ME UP
ONE OF THEM FAMOUS
55
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:40,153
DEEP-DISH POT-STICKER
AND KIELBASA PIZZAS?
56
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:44,292
WOW. CADET'S QUARTERS
ARE A TOTAL PIG STY.
57
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,394
HE'S USUALLY
SUCH A NEAT FREAK,
58
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,229
FOR A GUY WHO'S
ACTUALLY A PIG.
59
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:52,566
WAKEY WAKE, SNOOZY PIG.
GOTCHA!
60
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,438
GREETINGS, DUCK DODGERS.
61
00:03:57,505 --> 00:04:00,341
AAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE CADET'S BED?
62
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,943
THIS IS A HOLOGRAPHIC
PROJECTION, YOU IDIOT.
63
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,479
I--I KNEW THAT.
64
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,215
YOUR PRECIOUS CADET
IS MY PRISONER,
65
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,518
AND IF YOU WOULD EVER
LIKE TO SEE HIM AGAIN,
66
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:15,556
YOU WILL MEET ME
ON THE FROZEN PLAINS
OF FRIDGDONIA 7.
67
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,366
AREN'T YOU EVEN GONNA
TRY AND RESCUE HIM?
68
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,836
ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN THINKING
OF GETTING AN INTERN.
69
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,805
MULL IT OVER, HERO BOY.
70
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:36,710
WELL, THE CADET DOES
MAKE A MEAN POT-STICKER
AND KIELBASA PIZZA.
71
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,431
WONDER HOW LONG I'LL STAY FRESH
IN THIS GLASS.
72
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,704
YEP, IT'S A FROZEN DUCK
AND A FROZEN CHICKEN
73
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,106
OFF TO SAVE A FROZEN PIG,
74
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,376
ALL OF WHICH CAN BE FOUND
IN THE FROZEN FOOD AISLE
75
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:11,912
OF YOUR FAVORITE SUPERMARKET.
76
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,682
HE SEEMS TO BE TRYING
TO COMMUNICATE.
77
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,184
OH, IT'S CHARADES.
I LOVE CHARADES.
78
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,087
LET'S SEE. WAVING.
WAVING LIKE CRAZY.
79
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,055
GOOD-BYE. MAGIC FINGERS.
80
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,424
GOOD-BYE, MR. CHIPS.
81
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,394
PIANO PLAYING. VICTOR BORGE.
VICTOR MATURE.
82
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,862
CHEERS! TAXI! MARILU HENNER!
83
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,598
NO. SOUNDS LIKE...
84
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:34,935
POINT. MOINT. ROINT. SOINT.
COINT. DOINT. LOINT.
85
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:37,938
SOUNDS LIKE POINTING.
BOINTING. MOINTING. ROINTING.
86
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:41,409
SOINTING. COINTING.
OINTING. DOINTING.
87
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,276
BREATH! DRIVING MISS DAISY!
88
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,745
NO.
89
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,948
L-O-O-K OUT.
90
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,184
HEY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
SPELL STUFF OUT IN CHARADES.
91
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,753
SORT OF TAKES THE FUN
OUT OF IT.
92
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,188
[SQUAWKS]
93
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:56,624
AAH!
94
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,032
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE,
DODGERS?
95
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:09,570
WELL, BESIDES MAKING
SOME OF THE PRETTIEST
SNOW ANGELS YOU'VE EVER SEEN,
96
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:12,072
I'VE COME TO COLLECT MY PIG.
97
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,974
IS THAT ALL, DODGERS?
98
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:17,244
YOU'RE NOT HERE
TO BEG MY FORGIVENESS
FOR DASHING MY HEART
99
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,481
AND SPURNING THE THRONE
OF MARS?
100
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,483
WHO DASHED WHERE
AGAINST WHAT, NOW?
101
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:26,119
LET'S JUST
GET THIS OVER WITH,
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
102
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,525
THAT'S OK BY ME.
103
00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:38,932
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE
THAT THING?
104
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:42,169
I HAVEN'T HAD ANY COMPLAINTS
FROM THE LADIES.
105
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,037
THE LADIES?
106
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:56,083
OF COURSE, NOT QUITE
BIGGER THAN LIFE,
107
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,851
BUT YOU GET THE CONCEPT.
108
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,754
ALWAYS THE MODEST ONE,
DODGERS.
109
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,456
AAH!
110
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,201
HI-YEEAH!
111
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,839
SAY, YOU'RE CUTTING IT
KIND OF CLOSE THERE.
112
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,241
ARE YOU UPSET
ABOUT SOMETHING?
113
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,143
ME? OF COURSE NOT.
114
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,012
YOU JUST LEFT ME
AT THE ALTAR.
115
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,915
GOOD. I HATE IT
WHEN THESE THINGS
GET PERSONAL.
116
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:32,052
WE'RE JUST TWO SWORN ENEMIES
WITH NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS.
117
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,255
CONSENTING ADULTS
IN A DUEL TO THE DEATH.
118
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,957
EXACTLY.
119
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,761
WHERE'S SHE GOING?
120
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,864
BIGGER THAN LIFE,
MY FOOT!
121
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:48,268
NO! MY BEAUTIFUL
ICE SCULPTURE!
122
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,204
I'LL CHOP THAT EGO
DOWN A BIT.
123
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,443
I'M TOO YOUNG
TO BE CRUSHED
124
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,679
BY A GIANT LIKENESS
OF MY...SELF.
125
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,749
WOW, THAT FELT GREAT.
WHAT A RELEASE.
126
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:06,219
JUST CALL ME
THE POST-NASAL DRIP.
127
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,488
CATCH, SWEETUMS.
128
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,094
UH!
129
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,497
[GRUNTING]
130
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,769
YOU'LL SUFFER FOR THAT, DODGERS.
131
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,905
SHE MAKES BETTER
SNOW ANGELS THAN I DO.
132
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,648
NOW I'LL JUST SET
THE OLD EVAPORATOR
133
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,718
TO AUTOMATICALLY ZAP ME
AND THE CADET BACK TO THE SHIP.
134
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,687
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,
135
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,555
3 MINUTES SHOULD BUY ME
PLENTY OF TIME.
136
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,558
IF IT WORKS FOR
A FROZEN BURRITO,
IT SHOULD WORK FOR ME.
137
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,069
WHERE IS THE CADET?
138
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,405
I'D BETTER RECHECK
MY CALCULATIONS.
139
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,073
I NEVER WAS VERY GOOD
AT MATH.
140
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:03,376
LET'S SEE. 7,000X EQUALS Y,
DIVIDED BY THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
141
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,614
CROSS WIDTH 9 TIMES COSINE
OF NEWTON'S LAWS OF FUDGE.
142
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,282
SAY, WHAT WAS NEWTON'S LAW
OF FUDGE?
143
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,685
[SNORING]
144
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,024
[CRASH]
145
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,158
WHO GOES THERE?
146
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,760
[CHUCKLES]
147
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:22,295
YOU DARE DISTURB MY SLUMBER?
148
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:25,899
GO BACK TO SLEEP.
THIS IS ONLY
A NIGHTMARE.
149
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,568
YOU'LL FORGET EVERY BIT
OF IT WHEN YOU WAKE UP.
150
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,837
ON THE CONTRARY.
151
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,572
I PLAN TO FORGET YOU
RIGHT NOW.
152
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,842
HEH HEH. WHAT'S THAT?
153
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,710
SOME KIND OF FANCY
CURLING IRON?
154
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:41,649
THESE MICRO HOMING MISSILES
ARE LOCKED ONTO YOUR
VERY GENETIC CODE.
155
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,451
AH, A FELLOW FIREARMS
ENTHUSIAST.
156
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:47,755
PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM,
DUCK DODGERS.
157
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,496
HOW RESOURCEFUL.
158
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,832
HE'S MOST MAGNIFICENT.
159
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,134
I MEAN, I HATE THAT DUCK.
160
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,706
STUPID MASK.
161
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,446
I KNOW DODGERS
IS OUT THERE, CADET,
162
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:17,685
PLOTTING HIS NEXT
BRILLIANT MANEUVER
WITH CAT-LIKE CUNNING.
163
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,921
I'M SURE HE'S PLANNING
SOMETHING VERY CLEVER.
164
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:27,060
GIANT ROCK TAKES QUEEN.
165
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,295
STAND BACK, CADET.
166
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,797
THE BLAST FROM THIS POP GUN
167
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,666
SHOULD NEUTRALIZE YOUR
MAGNETIC CONTAINMENT FIELD.
168
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,902
WOW. THAT MIGHT
ACTUALLY WORK.
169
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:39,272
I LEARNED ALL MY HARD SCIENCES
FROM READING COMIC BOOKS.
170
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,943
JUST LIKE WHEN RICHIE RICH
FREED LITTLE LOTTA
171
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,378
FROM THE DIABOLICAL CLUTCHES
OF HOT STUFF.
172
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,980
WHOA!
173
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,718
RUN FOR IT,
CAPTAIN DODGERS!
174
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,854
DON'T CROWD ME, KIDDO.
175
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,422
AAH!
176
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,725
I AM WAY FRUSTRATED!
177
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,960
SHE'S CATCHING UP TO US.
178
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,963
3...2...1!
179
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,166
WOW.
180
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,435
THAT WAS
A PRETTY IMPRESSIVE
CALCULATION.
181
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:12,605
THAT'S NOTHING.
I EVEN SET THE TIMER
ON THE VCR.
182
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,641
[ALARM]
183
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,543
ALL RIGHT, CADET,
GET US OUT OF HERE.
184
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,812
THE MARTIANS
ARE GAINING ON US.
185
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,019
LOCK ALL WEAPONS
ON DODGERS' SHIP.
186
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,187
FIRE!
187
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,826
WE HAVE A HULL BREACH
IN DECKS 6-12,
188
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:36,029
AND WE'RE HEADED STRAIGHT
FOR THE N-NEBULA.
189
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:37,297
TAKE US IN.
190
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,899
INTO THE N-NEBULA?
191
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:41,368
THAT'LL RENDER OUR SENSORS
INOPERATIVE.
192
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,770
TAKE US IN.
193
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:43,804
THE FOOLS.
194
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,638
FOLLOW THEM.
195
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,707
IF WE FOLLOW THEM,
WE'LL BE FLYING BLIND.
196
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,242
FOLLOW THEM!
197
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,282
SENSORS AT 11%,
AND OUR SHIELDS ARE FAILING.
198
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,817
HOLD OUR PRESENT COURSE.
199
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,460
WHERE ARE YOU, DODGERS?
200
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,335
WHERE ARE YOU?
201
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:19,006
THERE!
202
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,007
FIRE!
203
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,947
HE'S HELPLESS.
NOTHING CAN SAVE HIM NOW.
204
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:28,748
FINISH HIM, YOUR HIGHNESS.
205
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,555
IT SEEMS THAT
THE M-MARTIAN QUEEN
IS HESITATING.
206
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:37,290
WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
207
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,092
ISN'T IT OBVIOUS, SIR?
208
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,760
SHE HAS FEELINGS FOR YOU.
209
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:41,829
SHE LOVES YOU.
210
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,331
GEE, IMAGINE THAT.
211
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,899
SHE LOVES ME.
212
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:49,169
THAT'S JUST THE TACTICAL
ADVANTAGE I NEED.
213
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,972
SPIN THIS PUPPY AROUND
214
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:54,341
AND BLAST
HER ENGINE THINGIES.
215
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,918
HE'S HEADING
STRAIGHT FOR US.
216
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:18,065
HOORAY!
WOO-HOO!
217
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,533
BUT IF YOU WERE
JUST A LITTLE NICER TO HER,
218
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,035
SHE MAY HAVE TAKEN YOU BACK.
219
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,304
YOU COULD'VE BEEN
KING OF MARS.
220
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,073
KING OF MARS?
221
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,507
DAMES.
222
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,313
GREETINGS, YOUR HIGHNESS.
223
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,049
I HOPE YOUR HUNTING TRIP
WENT WELL.
224
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,251
MY SHIP
HAS BEEN DISABLED,
225
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,820
AND DUCK DODGERS
HAS GOTTEN AWAY.
226
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:43,156
I'M SO VERY SORRY
TO HEAR THAT.
227
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:45,092
I WILL SEND A ROYAL SHUTTLE,
228
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,660
BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE
TO GET TO YOU.
229
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,964
OH, I HAVE A WAY
TO PASS THE TIME.
230
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,435
[SCREAMING]
231
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,142
SO HE'S MECHANICAL.
232
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,994
GOOD MORNING,
CAPTAIN DODGERS.
233
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,862
HERE'S THE MORNING
SPACE MAIL.
234
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,697
HMM, LET'S SEE.
235
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,067
SUMMONS, SUMMONS,
236
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,235
RESTRAINING ORDER.
237
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,438
GEE, I REALLY
SHOULD CALL HER.
238
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:32,805
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
239
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,242
I GOT ANOTHER STUPID
NOTICE DEMANDING ME
240
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,710
TO SHOW UP FOR
PROTECTORATE TRAINING.
241
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,312
RUBBISH.
242
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,517
AAH!
243
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:49,456
THIS TRAINING
IS MANDA-MANDA--
IT'S REQUIRED.
244
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,592
ALL PROTECTORATE
PERSONNEL MUST KEEP UP
THEIR CREDENTIALS
245
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,962
BY PASSING
THE ANNUAL PROTECTORATE
TRAINING TESTS.
246
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,931
SEE? I PASSED MINE
EARLIER THIS YEAR.
247
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,200
I DON'T NEED NO SCHOOL.
248
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,435
I LEARNED EVERYTHING I KNOW
FROM THE STREETS.
249
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,973
BETTER GET MOVING,
OR YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE.
250
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:16,916
ATTENTION!
251
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:20,353
MASTER SERGEANT
EMILY DICKINSON JONES!
252
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,888
UM, EXCUSE ME,
253
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,957
DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME
WAS EMILY?
254
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,758
YES, I DID, SOLDIER.
255
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,627
DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH THAT?
256
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,230
IT'S JUST THAT,
YOU KNOW,
257
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,932
EMILY IS A LADY'S NAME.
258
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,568
HA HA HA HA!
259
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,837
HERE IN THE 24th 1/2 CENTURY,
260
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:40,040
WE'RE UNENCUMBERED
BY GENDER-BASED NAMES.
261
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:44,111
AND MY MAMA HAPPENS TO BE
A FAN OF ROMANTIC POETRY.
262
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:47,514
HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?
263
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,118
IT SEEMS THAT
WE'VE REACHED AN
UNDERSTANDING, EMILY.
264
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,920
EMILY. HA HA HA!
265
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,522
EMILY! HA HA HA!
266
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,190
AN AUTHORITY HATER, EH?
267
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,559
DROP AND GIVE ME 50!
268
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,660
50 WHAT?
269
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:01,995
PUSH-UPS!
270
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,165
[GRUNTING]
271
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,904
SARGE,
ON THIS FIRST ONE,
272
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,940
DO YOU THINK YOU
CAN GIVE ME A SPOT?
273
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,976
I JUST LIVE FOR GUYS
LIKE YOU.
274
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,151
DODGERS, IN THIS TEST,
YOU WILL BE PILOTING
A SPACE FIGHTER
275
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:25,985
IN A COMPLETELY VIRTUAL
ENVIRONMENT.
276
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,055
OOH, SOUNDS SCARY.
277
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,123
DON'T WORRY,
LITTLE DUCK.
278
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,059
THE COMPUTER'S BEEN
PROGRAMMED TO MAKE SURE
279
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:35,128
YOU FEEL EVERY BIT
OF PAIN AND ANGUISH.
280
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,631
GET READY, PILOT.
281
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,574
Sergeant Dickinson:
TO MAKE THINGS
INTERESTING,
282
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,577
WE'VE RECREATED
A FIGHTER PILOT
FROM THE 20th CENTURY
283
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,312
TO BE YOUR OPPONENT.
284
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:58,751
WHAT?
285
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,053
UH-OH.
286
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,490
I'M SURE THEY CHOSE SOMEONE
BEYOND FORMIDABLE.
287
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,858
HI-OH!
288
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,794
TV's ED McMAHON?
289
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,262
YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR.
290
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,064
FOR A MINUTE,
YOU HAD ME WORRIED.
291
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,866
I'M FULLY QUALIFIED
TO BE YOUR CHALLENGER.
292
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:17,437
I WAS A MARINE CORPS
FIGHTER PILOT BACK
IN THE 20th CENTURY.
293
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,039
WOW. YOU LEARN
SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY.
294
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,908
SHALL WE HAVE AT IT THEN?
295
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,576
IT WILL BE
A PLEASURE, SIR.
296
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,546
NO, SIR, THE PLEASURE
IS ALL MINE.
297
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,115
AND AWAY WE GO!
298
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,583
HEY, ED,
YOU NEVER SAID THAT.
WHAT?
299
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,253
I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WAS
JACKIE GLEASON'S LINE.
300
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,856
REALLY?
HOW ABOUT NANOO, NANOO?
301
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,591
THAT'S MORK FROM ORK.
302
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:39,692
AH, DANG.
303
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,262
MY COMPUTER PROGRAMMING
MUST BE ACTING UP.
304
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,730
WHERE'S THE BEEF?
305
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,298
CLARA PELLER.
WHO?
306
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,899
THAT OLD HAMBURGER LADY.
307
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,301
LOOK, ARE WE GONNA FIGHT
OR WHAT?
308
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:52,038
A THOUSAND PARDONS,
OH, WISE AND EXALTED DUCK.
309
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,606
HEY, THAT'S ME!
310
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,342
WHATEVER.
311
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,510
ED McMAHON. HA!
312
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,880
I COULD WIN THIS DOGFIGHT
WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY--
313
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,715
WHOA!
314
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,154
HI-OH!
315
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,358
AAH!
316
00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:17,564
SPINNING WILDLY
OUT OF CONTROL!
317
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,398
CAN'T PULL UP!
318
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,268
I--I'VE LOST PRIMARY ENGINE!
319
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,002
EXPLOSION IMMINENT!
320
00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:25,872
CAN'T EJECT!
CURSE YOU, ED McMAHON!
321
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,374
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE!
322
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,876
HOW LONG MUST I SUFFER?
323
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,746
AND TO THINK,
THEY PAY ME TO DO THIS.
324
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,019
WELCOME TO YOUR WORST
NIGHTMARE, DODGERS--
325
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:42,455
HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.
326
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,525
LET ME INTRODUCE
YOUR NEXT OPPONENT--
327
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,027
UDA FRAUBURGER!
328
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:53,032
LADIES CHAMPION WRESTLER
FOR THE NEW EAST GERMAN
WRESTLING LEAGUE!
329
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,268
HA HA HA!
330
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,170
BUT SHE'S A WOMAN.
331
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,938
OR A MAN WITH 9 BACKS.
332
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:02,041
REMEMBER, YOU
HAVE TO STAY IN THERE
FOR 3 MINUTES
333
00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,810
TO GET A PASSING GRADE.
334
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,279
ALL RIGHT, FRAU FRAUBURGER,
335
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,281
PREPARE TO DEFEND YOURSELF,
336
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:10,883
AS I CAN SHOW YOU
NO MERCY.
337
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:19,426
IF YOU NEED ME,
I'LL BE IN MY TENT,
WORKING ON MY RESUME.
338
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,093
I'LL TALLY YOUR SCORES
339
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,330
AND DELIVER MY FINAL REPORT
IN THE MORNING.
340
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,435
MORNING, CAPTAIN DODGERS.
341
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,770
ARE YOU READY
FOR YOUR FINAL GRADE?
342
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,372
SOCK IT TO ME, SARGIE.
343
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:35,775
DUCK DODGERS, BY THE AUTHORITY
OF THE GALACTIC PROTECTORATE,
344
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,579
I REGRET TO INFORM YOU
THAT YOUR FINAL GRADE IS...
345
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,781
A-PLUS?
346
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,115
BUT HOW?
347
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,518
ACTUALLY, IT WAS
ALL TOO SIMPLE.
348
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:49,956
ALL I NEEDED WAS
A WELL-EXECUTED PLAN.
349
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,858
HOW DO THINGS LOOK
DOWN HERE?
350
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,361
YOU GOT TWO GUARDS IN FRONT
OF THE SERGEANT'S QUARTERS.
351
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,963
HOW ARE YOU GONNA GET INSIDE
AND STEAL THE GRADE BOOK?
352
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:58,731
DON'T WORRY, CADET.
353
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:01,901
I DON'T THINK THEY'LL BE
ABLE TO KEEP THEIR MINDS
ON THEIR WORK.
354
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,473
EAT YOUR HEART OUT,
SYDNEY BRISTOW.
355
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,208
CHARLIE, YOU SEEING
WHAT I'M SEEING?
356
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,979
I'M SEEING IT, BUT
I AIN'T BELIEVING IT.
357
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,114
YOU TWO DOPES
ARE INTOXICATED
358
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,917
WITH MY WILD BEAUTY,
ARE YOU NOT?
359
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,719
NO.
NO WAY.
360
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:23,523
YOUR SWOONING CRANIUMS
AREN'T FORGETTING
THEIR DUTIES, ARE THEY?
361
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,392
YOU'RE A GUY DUCK,
AREN'T YOU?
362
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,993
LET'S CUT TO THE CHASE.
363
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:30,297
HOWS ABOUT I JUST
GIVE YOU TWO GALOOTS
50 ASTRO BUCKS
364
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,798
TO LET ME IN
THE SERGEANT'S QUARTERS?
365
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,667
AIN'T NO THING
BUT A CHICKEN WING
ON A STRING.
366
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,736
BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR
OF SHOES.
367
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:38,738
I'M IN.
368
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:42,475
SERGEANT STUPID
IS SOUND ASLEEP.
369
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,945
AND I BELIEVE
I'VE SPOTTED MY QUARRY.
370
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,547
DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES.
371
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,417
AFFIRMATIVE.
DEPLOYING COUNTERMEASURES.
372
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:57,357
LASER ACTIVATED
TRIP WIRES, EH?
373
00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,360
I'LL USE MY GRAPPLE BELT.
374
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,033
A FLYING FISH!
375
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,375
UH!
376
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,978
A BOWL THIS SIZE
REALLY NEEDS A GUEST ROOM.
377
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:23,450
CAPTAIN, I'M DETECTING
SOME STRANGE GARGLING NOISES.
378
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,552
THOSE ARE MY LUNGS.
379
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,020
BUT MY MISSION'S ACCOMPLISHED.
380
00:21:28,087 --> 00:21:29,389
AND JUST LIKE THAT,
381
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:32,725
MY GRADE WENT FROM
AN F-MINUS TO AN A-PLUS.
382
00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:38,398
SEE, I JUST THOUGHT
I'D--
383
00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,433
STEAL MY GRADE BOOK!
384
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:44,036
AND FALSIFY OFFICIAL
PROTECTORATE RECORDS!
385
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:45,672
WELL, IF YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY...
386
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:49,241
WHY, DODGERS,
I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD.
387
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,843
WHATCHU TALKIN' BOUT,
WILLIS?
388
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:53,880
WHY, YOU'RE JUST THE KIND
OF RESOURCEFUL, CUNNING,
389
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:58,150
AND INGENIOUS SPACE CAPTAIN
THE PROTECTORATE NEEDS!
390
00:21:58,217 --> 00:22:00,319
HERE'S YOUR DIPLOMA!
391
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:06,325
CONGRATULATIONS, CAPTAIN,
YOU DID IT.
392
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,094
YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD
OF YOURSELF.
393
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,596
I HOPE YOU LEARNED
YOUR LESSON
394
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,399
ABOUT THE BENEFITS
OF A PROPER EDUCATION.
395
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,972
I TOLD HIM
I DON'T NEED NO SCHOOL.
27481
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