Original subtitles

- So first...

you wanna squeeze the tip.

Make sure there's no air in there.

Then, you're going

to firmly unroll the condom

down the length of the shaft.

You wanna...

hmm... try to... ooh. - Ouch.

-You don't wanna peel the banana.

Though, there wouldn't be a banana, now would there?

- Ew!

-If you don't learn this now, you're all gonna die!

Who's this?

Robin. Oh. You're a...

...merican?

From Washington... D.C.?

-Spokane, actually.

-Oh. Well, take a seat.

Now. Let's try this again.

- Is it a boy or a girl?

- I have no idea. Ew.

- Do not tear the condom.

Then, you wanna squeeze the tip,

make sure there's no air in there.

- Hey! George Washington.

What are you?

- Hey, Carter! Let's roll, man.

-HEY! Get the hell out of here! Get out of here!

- Shit. - Get over here, freak!

Whatever. We'll try again tomorrow.

Come on.

- Dude. - Dude.

- My scab is gnarly. Look, it's peeling.

- Eat it. - Gross!

-I'll give you two bucks. -You already owe me like, 200.

-Dude, that kid's such a freak. It's like, one of those, like,

zebra donkeys, where it's like a zombie.

-Gross. -In the savannah, they have,

like, the zombies. -Dude, what the hell?

-It's, like, not one but not the other.

-Like half of each?

Man, it's the worst class.

It's like you're just blowing into a tube

for an hour.

It's not even like you're doing anything to the tube,

it's just air going in and out.

-Dude, half the class doesn't know how to play, and, like,

why can't we learn, like, a cool instrument, like guitar

or something? I mean, dude.

- Rats!

-You're home early. -I went to a thrift store.

What do you think?

-My shoes are too loose.

-Well, you'll grow into them.

-My feet feel like crying.

-Do you like your school? -It's fine.

-Was there any trouble?

-No. Were you smoking?

-I quit. You know that.

-Hey, Marnold. -My name is Tony.

-Did he just say his name was Marnold?

-Marnold? What kind of name is Marnold?

-Tony! -Whatever you say, Marnold.

- You're the expert.

-Okay. Robin, right? Let's find you an instrument.

-Back home, I used to be a clarinet player for a year.

-Mmhm. And you can be

whatever you want to be in life.

Here, we only have saxophones.

This one's broken. This one smells.

Here's an alto. Grab a chair

and a music stand, little friend,

and find a place to sit.

-What do you think you're doing?

-I have to sit here.

- Gross.

-All right! Let's tune up. Give me a D.

- I'll give her a D.

- Carter! Shev.

-These actually aren't half bad.

-Thank you! -Way to go, Dad.

-I can teach you how to make them, if you like.

-No.

- You know I'm faster. - Then why do I

always get here first?

What's this?

-Whoa. This is awesome. Is that you?

-Did you draw this? -Yes. That's why I'm asking

if this is you.

Hey, how come I'm not in it?

- You are!

-Womp womp.

-What did we get? -Hold on, you mutant!

I don't even know.

Show me.

Bush Party!

Titty Town!

Cracks A'Poppin'!

-A fishing magazine? -I just grabbed them fast.

-You can have that one. -What's wrong with fishing?

I... Buttboy?!

Gross! Ah!

Don't get the AIDS on me! -You grabbed it.

-No, I didn't. I was just grabbing them fast.

-Say hello to Cyndi.

-WAH!

No way.

-Yeah.

-Okay. So... try it now.

-I should put the disk in? -mmhm.

-It's still clicking. -Hmm.

So the problem is probably with your floppy disk.

-Does that mean you lost my syllabus?

-Look, uh,

obviously, you have more than one copy, right?

-Of course. -Great!

So why don't you get the backup, just to be safe,

and we'll work on recovering this one.

-Thank you. -A little easier

to work without him breathing down our necks, right?

-So how'd you get so good with computers?

-On my home planet, we are raised by machines.

-Really? -Spokane isn't a planet.

- Right.

You should come out for drinks after work with us.

-Oh, I gotta get home to my kid.

-Oh, you're married.

- Boy, was I ever.

-Another time then?

We go to the Far Side Lounge every Friday.

-Man, that new game is so cool. -Yeah, Battle Wars.

It's pretty good. -Oh, yeah. Battle Wars.

That's the name. It's so...

Oh.

Eh... uh... ugh!

How come they stop for you but not for me?

-Because you're lame. -Shut up, man.

What's so special about you?

- Listen up.

Attention, please.

Can I have your attention?

West... Edmonton... Mall!

Okay.

So, we have all the consent forms signed,

except for Carter. -It's coming.

-It's time to assign band buddies for the trip.

Bea, you're with Bridget.

Sophia, you're with Sophie.

Ethan, you're with Eli.

Tony, you're Natalie.

- Way to go, Marnold!

-What?! -Calm down. It's not like

they're getting married. I think the mall has

a wedding chapel. -Stop!

Stop! You're supposed to put boy-boy and girl-girl!

-Welcome to the future, Natalie.

Moving on. Jenn, you're with Robin.

-No! -Jenn.

Carter, you're with Shev.

-Ha! Yes! -Nice! Radical.

This is gonna be cool.

-But don't forget, I need that permission slip signed ASAP.

- Yeah, yeah.

-Hey, space case!

Get over here.

Okay, band buddy.

These are my rules for the trip.

Don't touch my stuff. -I won't.

-I don't want you doing anything creepy,

like going through my underwear. -Why would I do that?

-What kind of underwear do you wear?

-What? -Let's have a look.

Now you're gonna get it.

- Holy shit!

- Oh, my God!

- What's wrong with you?!

Fight back!

- So you won't even call the police?

-For a schoolyard fight?

We'd be calling them twice a day.

Unless you want to press charges?

-No.

-You won't be able to pick your nose for a few weeks, kid.

But after that, you'll be right as rain.

-It's not my first broken nose.

- Are you okay?

-I guess.

-I'll give you an extra fortune cookie.

- Tony, hurry up.

You've got a delivery.

-If you're Chinese, why is your name Tony?

-I'm not Chinese.

-Is that your friend from school?

-No. That's Marnold.

- In light

of what happened yesterday, I am thinking of cancelling

West Edmonton Mall.

If you little jerks can't look out for each other here,

how can I trust you in the big city?

-But it wasn't our fault. -I don't care who started it.

I'm changing up the band buddies.

- Put me with Carter.

-Me? -But I'm with Carter!

-Shev, you go with Tony.

-Marnold?! But he's already with someone!

-It's me, but that's okay. I'll go with Jenn.

- Yes!

You kids are gonna learn to get along if it kills you.

-Unbelievable. -And Carter...

I need that permission slip signed by Monday.

No more excuses, or you don't go.

-I'll make sure he brings it.

-No! NO! NO! Damn it!

This game sucks.

-What? Stop touching me.

- Give me your permission slip.

I'll take it to school for you. -How'd you know where he lived?

Is your sister here?

- Hey! You home? - Yup!

-Where are you? -In here!

I'm just getting ready for work. What do you want?

-Did you sign that thing for the school trip yet?

-What thing? -When's your mom coming back?

-Who knows? Got herself a new boyfriend in Lac La Biche.

- Ha! Lac La Bitch! Ow!

What was that for? -I hope your parents

don't think we're paying them back for that school trip.

- No, they don't care. - Must be nice.

Who's this little rock star? -I'm Robin.

-Hmm.

- I need you to sign this.

-See you later, tube socks!

-Oh, come on!

-I can sign it.

Let me see your mom's signature.

-Whoa. -That's amazing.

-So, what're you guys doing now?

- Uh, get out of my house?

-Cheer up. It'll be fun.

-It's just a shopping mall.

-And an amusement park with dolphins.

There's supposed to be a wave pool.

Did you want to bring a bathing suit?

-No.

-Here's some money.

Try to have some fun?

-Are you gonna have a big party while I'm gone?

-Yes. I'm gonna invite over all my new friends

to watch the music video show and dance.

-Do you even have any new friends yet?

-No. Do you?

-I will.

-No!

You son of a ding-dong!

A bit... further.

Okay. Okay.

We're gettin' there. -Great job, squids!

Didn't they do a great job, Mrs. Lee?

-Oh! Just wonderful!

-Natalie, you killed that solo. Didn't she nail it, kids?

-Heh! Nail Natalie! -All right.

You've got some free time in the mall.

Stick with your band buddies and get back

to the bus on time. Everybody, grab ahold

of your band buddy's hand and hold 'em up in the air!

-Come on, Shev! Ha!

-You know, even in Spokane we've heard of this mall.

Have you been here before? -Yeah.

-Do you think they've ever been here before?

-Do you think they've been out of their stupid town before?

-You don't have an accent. -Why would I?

-When you talk.

-How do you know I wasn't born in Canada?

-Do I have an accent?

-Yes! -No way.

It looks stupid.

-Oh, my God. You're scared.

-I'll go.

What? It looks fun.

-Pfft. Come on, Marnold.

Let's go see if there's a bar around here.

-No. -Come on, band buddy!

-You got ride tickets? It's three each.

- I can buy us some.

-Hey!

Come here. -What?

-Just come on.

-Carter, wait.

Is that from the ride?

- Yeah, I guess.

- Carter.

The bus.

-It's gone? What time is it?

-I don't know! I don't have a watch.

-Why don't you have a watch?!

They can't just leave. That's illegal! What time is it?

-It doesn't matter what time it is, they're gone!

Okay. I'm sorry.

Come on.

-Excuse me, sir.

Ma'am, do you have a quarter? We really need

to make a phone call. -Get a job.

- Okay.

-[Hacienda Inn.] -Is this the Hacienda Inn?

-[That's what I said. How can I help you?]

-Do you have Ms. Pahornyk staying there?

-[Can you repeat that?] -Pahornyk!

P-A-H-O-- -We need to talk to

the band teacher staying there. -[Oh, are you looking for]

[those lost kids, too?] -We are those lost kids!

-[Please hold.]

-She put me on hold.

-Well... at least we got good at begging.

Ew! Dude, don't chew on the straw.

-I wasn't, I just had my-- -You've had your mouth on it

this entire time.

-When those girls were pounding on you...

you should've fought back.

-Thank God you're alive. You two are so dead!

-Hey! -Save your apologies

for Mrs. Lee in the morning. -What the hell?!

-Watch your language! -How could you leave us there?

That's your fault! -I was very clear

about what time you were meant to be on the bus!

-We don't have a watch! -I guess that's my problem!

You two are gonna stay at this motel all day.

Now Mrs. Lee doesn't get to go to Fort Edmonton Park either.

How do you like that?

-I'm going shopping.

Don't get me in trouble.

-♪ Come with me ♪

♪ Come with me ♪

♪ And I will make ♪

♪ You understand ♪

♪ We will be, we will be ♪

♪ Forever in ♪

♪ This wonderland ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one for me ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one, you're the one ♪

♪ You're the one, you're the one ♪♪

-What?

-Come on.

-Are you lost? -We have money.

Will you buy us some beer? -And why would I do that?

-Because you look like you need a beer.

Come on. Give him some money.

-Why me? -Because I don't have

any money.

-There you go... ma'am.

-Sweet! We're gonna get drunk!

-We better not get into any more trouble.

-Stop being such a pussy.

I wonder what Edmonton beer tastes like.

-Do you know what normal beer tastes like?

-Of course I do.

-What's all this? -The bartender gave us

free shots. -He gave you free shots.

-Which we will gladly drink.

-Sex on the Beach. -I don't drink.

-You do now. -Is it cream?

-It'll make you cream. -Cheers!

- Ugh.

Ahem. -I'm so glad

you finally came out with us.

-Yeah, well, the kid gets home from Edmonton tomorrow, so.

-Daniel, we've been talking about you.

-You have? -Yes.

You have a problem, and we're gonna fix it.

-Oh, no, it's nothing bad. -You know

that delivery girl, Jamie?

-I don't. Who? -The hot delivery girl.

-Jamie. -She asked about you.

-I don't know who that is. -Brown shorts? The legs?

-Oh! Yes. -Well, here...

is her number. -Oh. Heh-heh.

No, thank you. -Oh, come on!

She's so cute, though! -So cute!

-Really cute! -I'm fine. Thanks.

-Are you... already seeing someone?

-No. It's not that.

-Hmm. -You're not...

Are you a gay? -Trish!

-Well? -I'm just not interested

in seeing anyone right now. My... last relationship was...

Anyway, she's too young, so.

Ahem.

-Why would you move to Alberta?

-Where did you say you were from?

- I'm from the States. - "I'm from

the States." -But I live in Alberta now.

-Mm. Sorry about your luck.

-I'm sorry about your luck.

-Oh-ho-ho.

When did you move here?

-Uh, this year. With my dad.

- What about your mom?

HEY!

That's not cool. -Whatever.

-I gotta go. I have a bus to catch.

It has been a long night.

- It was nice meeting you.

-Hey, kid. Watch yourself around that one.

-Come on.

Reach into my pocket. -What?

-Put your hand in my pocket.

-You stole her lighter?

-Heh. Sorry 'bout her luck.

- Carter!

Don't get so close to the edge.

-You're such a wuss.

-Whatever.

-This is way better than hanging out

with all those other gaylords.

-Yeah. Totally.

-What the fuck?

Don't touch my hair.

-Hey. Look.

There's Orion. -What?

-Those three stars.

That's the belt.

See, Orion's a hunter,

and he wears a belt.

That's his knife.

-I don't see it.

-Here.

Put your head on my shoulder...

...and follow my finger.

-Cool! Are they really close together?

-No.

They're hundreds of light years apart.

Hey, see if there's a porno channel.

-Ew! No, let's just watch this.

-How was Fort Edmonton Park? -Great!

-Don't! I told you not to. -Natalie got attacked

by a turkey.

-No way!

-Ugh! This tastes like piss!

-That's our last one! Gimme that.

- How'd you get beer anyway? - We bought it.

-You did not.

-Madonna bought it for us. -You did not meet Madonna.

-Yes, we did. See?

- Whoa! - Wow.

A drawing of Madonna. Case closed.

-You did that drawing of me at the Rocket Ship.

- That's amazing. - It's okay.

-Oh, you're right. It's terrible.

-Hey, Marnold, how's the fishing going?

-It's not my magazine. -That's right.

It's Shev's fishing magazine.

- We've got more magazines.

Check these out!

-Oh, ew! -You guys are disgusting.

-Boys are so horny.

-Horny virgins. -Hey, Marnold. You want a beer?

-Why are you guys so mean to him?

-We're not. Here you go, bud. -No, thank you.

-What, not allowed to drink? -Quit it, I can't hear.

- Yeah. Be quiet! We'll get caught.

-I just don't like the taste. -As if you've ever had it.

-You said it tastes like piss. I don't need to try it.

-I think you should try it. Piss tastes good.

-Real mature, Shev. -What? I drink piss

all the time. You do know what piss tastes like,

don't you, Marnold? -Come on, Natalie. Let's go.

-You're making the girls leave. -What the shit do I care?

-Language! We'd better wash your mouth out.

- Ah! Quit it! Get off! - Stay down!

Stay down!

- Get off of me!

- Just stay down! Stop struggling.

Stop!

-What do you want, numbnuts? -Is Carter home?

-Nope. -Where is he?

-I don't fuckin' know! Off with the elf.

-♪ Heartbreak, asleep in the night ♪

♪ Do what you want ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

- There goes Marnold.

- He deserves it.

-♪ Can't get you off my mind ♪♪

- That looks great. - Thanks.

-You're like a professional or something.

-Yeah? I'm actually pretty good.

-Everyone goes.

Men. Women. Children.

-And everyone's naked? -That's just

what saunas are like in Europe. -That's so gross!

What's the biggest penis you've ever seen?

-Probably my own.

-Whoa. Check it out. Who invited Bea Arthur?

-All right. All right.

Attention, please. This is Mr. Anderson,

from the community theatre. -Hello, children.

-He's here to tell you about something called summer stock.

-Who wants to be in a musical?

-They're doing Jesus Christ Superstar!

-Actually, we're not. -Oh?

-Couldn't get the rights. -Ah.

-So instead, I've written

an original musical,

from Mary Magdalene's point of view.

-You have? -I have!

-Oh. -I'm on the hunt for some

saxophone-playing centurions. -Excuse me.

-Yes. -Were there saxophones

in Jesus' time? -Yes.

-All right! So who wants

to volunteer to be part of the show?

It's five weeks of rehearsal at the college,

every Tuesday and Thursday night.

-My dad works there!

Don't you want to?

-Okay.

What about you? -Are you kidding me? It's gay.

And when I say gay, what I mean is it's for fags!

Watch yourself, Marnold.

-Where the hell is he going?

Ew! Dude, gross.

-Okay. So I'll see you at 9:30, pick you up.

Oh. Um... I made some spaghetti for you to eat on the break.

-For me? -It's for both of you.

-Thanks. -Give you some energy

to... march around.

-Dad!

-♪ Why me? ♪

♪ Me, why? ♪

♪ Why me? ♪

♪ Me, why? ♪

♪ Come on, Dad, give me a break ♪

♪ How much shit am I supposed to take, man? ♪

♪ Come on, Dad, give me a break ♪

♪ How much shit am I supposed to take, man? ♪♪

-Smile, Jesus! Smile!

The poor man's facelift! -I will.

♪ Judas is wack. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Cut me some slack! Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Mary's a drag. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Always a nag! Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Dreams in my head. Why, Dad? ♪

♪ Showing me dead. Why, Dad? ♪

Why...

Dad?

-No, no, no, no, no, no! STOP!

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Maybe.

Jesus...

that was beautiful.

Centurions, what the hell?

You! I mean, why aren't you

even in formation with the rest of them?

-This music is impossible to march to.

-Actually, it isn't. We'll do it again.

Just you this time. -It's in a 5/4 time signature.

-Don't confuse him. All right?

Five! Six! Seven! Eight!

Bah-dum, bah-dum! Right, left!

One, two and three. Why aren't you moving?

It's a marching band, not a standing band.

Okay.

No need to laugh.

He's probably doing his best.

What's your name? -Marnold.

- Marnold is doing his best.

-Gah! Take your musical and put it in your bum!

- Oh!

-Oh. Excuse me. I'm so sorry.

-Remember this feeling.

Jesus was surrounded by amateurs too.

Okay!

Moving on!

Isabella, are you out there?

Come on up. All right.

As you know, our lead actress also had to drop out

at the last second. No more dropping out!

So... I got us a new star!

Welcome our new Mary Magdalene, Isabella.

This is your boyfriend, Jesus.

-Hi.

The old one was... older.

-Yeah, I know. She's a shrimp.

But I think I can block around the height difference.

-Just... um... -Let's go from the top

of the ballad and see what we get, huh?

Please be great.

-I think that's stupid. I feel bad for the Jesus.

He's gonna be, like, molesting her or something.

-♪ I don't want to hurt him ♪

♪ I don't to be ♪

♪ Hurt by him ♪

♪ He's just a man ♪

♪ Or is he at all ♪

♪ I can't date him ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪

-Hey! Faggot!

- Ha-ha! I got him! - Woo-hoo!

-Beat it, nerd!

- ♪ If he's a god ♪

♪ I guess I'll be cryin' ♪

♪ While everybody else ♪

♪ Applauds ♪

♪ I just can't date him ♪

♪ If he's a god ♪♪

- Should we go talk to her?

-What for?

- I want to go talk to her.

-Hey, Jenn. Hey, Natalie. -Hey, Carter.

-You're Isabella, right? -Just Izzy.

-Izzy. You sang good.

-Thanks. -You're way better

than the last girl they had. -What happened to her, anyway?

-She broke her leg waterskiing.

-So she can't sing anymore? -Well, no.

We're lucky to have you.

- Shut up.

-Maybe we should rent a movie. -Sure.

-When? -Saturday.

Where? -What?

We can't go to my place. -My mom won't mind.

-Okay!

-Sure. -Sure.

- So...

I'm Carter, p.s.

-Hi, Carter p.s.

-Come on, Carter. Let's go.

-Okay. Thanks, Izzy.

See you Saturday.

-This way.

- I'm Carter, p.s.

-Is Izzy home? -Oh! Uh...

-This is the best one. I love this band with all my heart.

-Don't they have a better song? -No!

-Hey, guys! -Hey.

-You're late. -We brought snacks!

- I'm so hungry.

-So what movie did you get?

-Well, we couldn't decide so we're gonna watch

the Jane Fonda Workout video.

-Uh... -I'm just kidding. Here.

-Whoa... Your mom let you rent this?

-She didn't care.

-Can we ask for snacks? -I like your glasses.

-Thanks, they were my grandma's.

-Oh... I'm sorry.

-Why? -Isn't she dead?

-No. She just got new glasses.

- Oh, my God.

-Dude! -We have to push them both off.

-Are they faded? -Yeah, I can repaint them.

-Robin, can I get you a chair? -No. I'm fine.

-Robin, get the lights.

-Or what, Jenn? You gonna break my nose again?

- Okay, okay.

-That was good. - They're so creepy!

- Why are they always hanging around?

-Snacks. - Over here!

-Ooh! -Oh!

-Thank you. - Nobody wants them here.

- Yeah, that's good.

- Out of bounds! - I don't like scary movies.

- Shh! Just watch it. - Give me the ball!

Freaks!

- No, Mother. Please.

- You stay down here!

- Don't lock us in the basement.

- Evil boy! Sinful girl!

AH! NO!

- Mother, Mother, come and play.

-Robin? - Stay with us or go away.

-Hey! - Stay together, never stray.

Mother, Mother, all your days.

- Robin?

-Just... please keep watching.

-Hey, what's going on?

-Robin, come to my room.

-Hey, nice bedroom.

-Just give us a moment, please?

-I'm sorry. Okay.

-That's holy water. From France.

-You've been to France?

-No.

- Food's here!

-Marnold? -Whoa.

-Oh! Do you all know each other?

-No. We do not.

-♪ You ♪

♪ Queen of my heart ♪

♪ You could have most anything ♪

♪ You could have most anything ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ The light from the stars ♪

♪ Agony and ecstasy ♪

♪ Entropy and victory ♪♪

-Well, it's a small two-bedroom,

but it serves its function.

-You know...

for what you're probably paying in rent,

you'd be better off owning.

-"Annie Waverley Realty."

-"Come Sale Away!" Heh.

My number's on there.

Call me anytime, Dan.

-Oh.

No one ever really calls me Dan.

-Hmm! I guess I do now.

- Go! Go! - Oh!

Looks like someone had a makeover party!

- None for you?

-I didn't want to.

- Uh...

Thank you for coming over.

-Bye, Izzy.

-Bye, Izzy. -Uh, bye!

-Yeah, bye! -Don't!

-♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪♪

-♪ Love me ♪

-♪ I'm busy ♪

-♪ See me ♪

-♪ It's not you, it's me ♪

-♪ So focused on your career ♪

-♪ Okay ♪

♪ Get over here ♪

♪ Quick ♪

♪ Before I change ♪

♪ My mind ♪♪

-Hi, Dan. -Hi.

-How are you enjoying the show so far?

-Oh. Uh, well, Jesus likes

the sound of his own voice.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Oh.

All right. Yeah, okay. Sure. Yes. Thanks.

-Oh... ah! -Oh.

-So... you're alone, too?

-You mean just tonight? -Oh!

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be too forward.

There's an empty seat next to me if you'd...

like to sit closer for the second half?

-There's an empty seat next to me if you'd like to sit

further away? -HA!

- One!

Two! Tell him what he's won!

Three!

Four!

Thirty-eight!

Thirty-nine!

It's Monday somewhere!

Forty!

Forty-one!

Ninety-six!

Ninety-seven!

It's a livin'! Ninety-eight!

Ninety-nine!

- Oh, my God.

-♪ Love me ♪

-♪ I'm dying ♪

-♪ See me ♪

-♪ It's not you ♪

♪ It's me ♪

-♪ I've got a life, you know ♪

-♪ I've really ♪

♪ Got to go ♪

♪ Now! ♪

-I mean, what even are we?

Boyfriend and girlfriend? Or what?

Jesus? Answer me!

Oh!

♪ I'll love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ For all time ♪♪

-♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star, I'm the video ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ Video star ♪

♪ I'm the video ♪

♪ All you need ♪

♪ With me ♪

♪ Video star ♪♪

-Cheers!

-Okay! Okay! What a show, huh?

What a night!

What a life! Yeah!

Let's hear it for our musical director,

Ms. Pahornyk!

Yeah!

Jesus Christ, our well-hung Jesus,

how about those curls, girls? -Is he drunk?

-100%. -Oh, who cares

what the reviewers think. They can't do any worse to you

than the Romans! Oh!

Okay. Come on, Conrad.

-Hey, have you guys seen Carter?

-Yeah. He's right there.

-Um... Come on, Natalie. Let's go get drinks.

-Mmhm.

-He's not here, super squirrel. -Do you know where he might be?

-Probably out with his creepy little girlfriend.

- Shit.

-Hey.

-So...

do you wanna make out?

-Let's do something else.

-Like what? -I dunno.

These are really good. Did you draw these?

-Yeah.

-Come on.

Let's go see if we can find some frogs.

-Don't you want to stay in the rocket ship?

-It's not going anywhere.

- Geologists, tapping the mineral-rich region

of Northeastern Alberta, Canada,

develop a 10,000-square mile range of oil sands.

Sands so filled with oil

that engineers predict a potential yield

of 250 billion barrels.

Dynamiters blasts barely 20 feet beneath the surface.

- What are you doing home?

- Like mining coal above the surface, steam...

-Why aren't you out with your friends?

- ...rich deposit for processing at a nearby plant.

-I don't know where he is.

- ...steaming hot water separates the globules...

-You are allowed to have more than one friend, you know.

- ...of sand. The oil rises

to the top, the sand goes to the bottom.

300 barrels of oil from 400 tonnes of sand,

and they've just tapped the surface.

-What do you think of this one?

-Nice. Subtle.

- Jenn, how do you say this?

Fuck... fuck... sia?

-Fuchsia, dummy.

-Fuchsia? That's--that's dumb.

-Oh! Ladies! Please don't apply

the product directly to your face.

-But-- -It's unsanitary.

You put it on your hand,

like this. Hmm? -Hmm!

-This is the last lime one. Do you think you have another

in the back maybe? -Oh? Let me go and check.

It's pretty popular, we should have it.

-That's so ugly. -What are you talking about?

-Izzy! -Come on.

-Izzy, don't!

-It's just a big makeup company, what do you care?

-It's wrong. -It's not hurting anyone.

They'll never even notice. -That's not the point.

-Hey, guys. -Hi, Robin.

-Am I interrupting something?

-Well-- -Robin, do you think

it's wrong to steal a $5 lip gloss

from a giant corporation that owns the whole world?

-Is it a good colour? -You guys are assholes.

-Oh, come on. I thought you two were supposed to be so tough.

-We already got caught once for shoplifting, okay?

-And if we get caught again, we'll, like, go to prison.

-Who told you that? -Come on, Natalie.

-This is the lip gloss in question.

Well, what do you think? -Very pretty.

-You want to try it?

-Sure.

- No, no, no. Those.

-These? -Mmhm.

- What?

-Excuse me. -Yes?

-Do you happen have another pair of these?

-Hold on. Let me check.

-Okay, now!

-♪ Just your A-boys ♪

♪ We will always be, we will always be ♪

♪ We will always be your A-boys ♪♪

-Nice try, dummies.

-Don't sulk, please. -It was just a pair

of stupid sunglasses.

-Do you think you have to steal so people will like you?

-"You're allowed to have more than one friend, you know."

-Are these the kind of people you want to be friends with

if they want you to steal for them?

-Izzy had nothing to do with it.

-So you're trying to impress her?

Was she impressed?

Are you impressed with yourself?

What if they'd called the police?

I'm trying to be your friend, here.

But maybe that's a mistake.

-So.

-So.

-Where were you yesterday?

-Hanging out. -Hanging out?

-Just... hanging out.

With Izzy.

-Just hanging out with Izzy?

-Ow! What the hell?

-Put your fingers in your mouth.

-What?

-Put your fingers in your mouth.

Now say something.

-Sausages.

-Say Izzy.

Say Isabella.

-Isabella.

-What are you doing? Gross.

Why are you here? -I want my fishing magazine!

- It's gone, man.

-Gone? -I burned it.

What are you two? -Shut up.

-I'll tell you what you are, you're a couple of gross freaks!

OW! MY ARM!

AGH! Oh!

-Whoa!

-OW!

-That's so messed up.

I bought these for you.

For my birthday.

-Thanks!

Happy Birthday.

-What's this? -Nothing.

Carter pinched me. But it's nothing.

-Are you okay?

-I don't know.

It's easier with you.

It looks like it's falling on us.

-It is.

-Daniel, hi. -Annie, hello.

-You look very handsome. -Thank you. So do you.

-Oh!

Mm! Is that Van Dyke?

-I don't know. Uh, it's all they had left at the pharmacy.

So.

-So. Heh.

Here we are.

Dan'n'Annie.

- That's right.

Oh.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

- I just...

don't know.

-Can you come up here and tell me?

-I don't want to climb into the treehouse, Carter.

-It's not a treehouse. It's a rocket ship.

I stole us beers from my sister.

Okay, I'll come down.

-No. Stay up there.

I kissed Robin.

-Can't you just come up here?

-I'm sorry.

-So the horse then says,

"Oh, my God. It's talking dog."

-See? You do know a joke.

-Jokes are for people who aren't funny.

-Mm! I've got one.

What do you call a beaver

on skates?

Yes, please.

-ROBIN!

ROBIN!

-Deep-fried wontons,

green onion cake, sliced barbequed pork,

egg rolls, and... a couple cans of cola.

Yeah. Okay.

On hold.

-Your mom lets you order food on your own?

-Yeah, I do it all the time.

Care for a drink before dinner?

- Dan'an'Annie!

A-Dan'an'Annie!

Oh!

-Thank you for the invitation, Annie.

-You're leaving?

-Yeah. It's time for me to go.

-Your aura just got all judge-y.

-Take care of yourself, all right?

Take a cab home.

- Shit.

-♪ She's a cool ♪

♪ Blonde, scheming bitch ♪

♪ She makes my body twitch ♪

♪ Walkin' down the corridor ♪

♪ You can hear ♪

♪ Her stilettos click ♪

♪ I want her so much I feel ♪

♪ Sick ♪

♪ The girl can't help it ♪

♪ She really can't help it now ♪

♪ It's like a high school ♪

♪ A high school confidential ♪

♪ A high school ♪

♪ A high school confidential ♪

♪ Teenage Brandos ♪

♪ Stalk her in hall ♪ -Huh.

You did these. -♪ They tease her ♪

♪ With catcalls ♪

♪ She's a combination ♪

♪ Anita Eckberg, Mamie Van Doren ♪♪

-Carter!

- What are you doing?

-Don't you look at me.

-Carter, what the hell? -What are you doing?!

-Carter, get down from there! -Carter! Don't touch that!

-Seriously, put it down, Carter!

-Carter, it's not funny! -Carter, STOP IT!

- What was that for?!

-Carter, stop! Get down! -Carter, what the hell?

- Get off! Get out!

What are you doing? Carter? -Carter!

Put it down. Carter, stop it! -Carter, don't!

-CARTER, STOP! STOP IT! -CARTER!

What are you doing?! Stop! -Stop it, Carter! Put it down!

- CARTER, GET OUT!

NO, CARTER! JUST STOP!

- STOP! - Please, don't! GET OUT!

-IZZY! IZZY! -MOM!

- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

You get out of my house!

GET OUT! - Please!

-I WILL RUIN YOU! You little piece of--

AGH! Oh!

YOU SHIT!

- Hello?

Hello?

- OVER HERE!

-What's going on?

How can you drink that?

-I'm sorry.

-I don't care.

-I mean before.

We were assholes.

I was.

-And you're not anymore?

-Can I touch your hair?

-Yes.

- Hello, girls.

-Carter-- -Oh no, don't get up.

-Stop it! -No, please, have a seat.

-What are you doing here?! -Stop it!

- You want some, Marnold?

So you're cool now, is that the idea?

-Give it back!

- GET OFF OF HIM! GET OFF!

-Finally! This is what I've been waiting for.

Fight back!

-Stop it! -What are you doing?

Stop hitting yourself. -Stop it! Cut it out!

-I thought you were gonna fight back.

-FUCK OFF!

What are you?

Holy shit.

Just give it.

- Fight back! Fight back!

-♪ What's falling apart ♪

♪ Waking up from a teenage dream ♪

♪ It's the hardest part ♪

♪ To face the truth, accept defeat, hey! ♪

♪ Hangin' on by your fingertips ♪

♪ Hangin' on, but you're tired now ♪

♪ You hold, you got that, then you let go ♪

♪ Free-falling in slow motion, oh yeah ♪

♪ Another day was coming ♪

♪ Did you think it's gonna last forever? ♪

♪ If you did, you'd recall ♪

♪ You'd recall, you'd recall ♪

♪ The wall-to-wall will disappear ♪

♪ They all moved on and left you here ♪

♪ Wishing you could be ♪

♪ A kid again ♪

♪ Back then, in a simpler time ♪

♪ It's too late, the flaw in the design ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ On the street when the sun goes down ♪

♪ Angry kids with nowhere to go ♪

♪ Aluminum machines and the neon lights ♪

♪ Are just memories of you and I ♪

♪ An afterthought that makes us sigh ♪

♪ It all gets washed away in time ♪

♪ An afterthought that makes us sigh ♪

♪ It all gets washed away in time ♪

♪ Everyone you used to know ♪

♪ Now, they've gone and left you here ♪

♪ Wishing someone ♪

♪ Could take it all away ♪

♪ That was a simpler time ♪

♪ It's too late ♪

♪ The flaw in the design ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪