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1
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2
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Oh, yeah! That was for all you pinheads too
hip to take off your jackets in the 95° heat.
3
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:23,308
When the weather gets like this
it brings all you nutbags out...
4
00:02:23,395 --> 00:02:29,267
...and since I am a trouble magnet, I have
one thing to say to you bozos: back off.
5
00:02:29,359 --> 00:02:33,309
Here's the Sons of Thunder from their album
Scrambled Eggs and Wobbly Legs.
6
00:02:33,405 --> 00:02:39,443
This is Ian the Shark on the station with
more hair, more flair, yet so debonair: KPPX.
7
00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:43,996
Rebel Radio-oh-oh-oh-oh!
8
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:18,655
Hey! Hey! You've gotta check in here!
9
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:25,277
Get Security on the second floor.
We've got a bogey in elevator one.
10
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:27,613
It's that guy in the
delivery uniform again.
11
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,996
OK, be wild. Be as wild as you wanna.
12
00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:35,505
If you feel like wetting yourself, go with it,
OK? Anarchy's good. They like anarchy, OK?
13
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:39,124
- But what are we supposed to say?
- What? Don't say anything.
14
00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:43,381
Jeez, do you wanna blow this? You know
how much these stupid hats set me back?
15
00:03:43,472 --> 00:03:46,806
- Hi.
- Oh, no. Hey, excuse me?
16
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:49,383
Mike, it's him. The wacko's back.
17
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,931
Yeah, I'm up here in A&R right now.
18
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I'm not goin' anywhere.
19
00:04:07,328 --> 00:04:09,036
Oh, hey, dude.
20
00:04:09,122 --> 00:04:11,529
- Hey, hi. Are you an executive here?
- Yeah.
21
00:04:11,624 --> 00:04:14,080
How you doin'?
My name's Chazz. Chazz Darby.
22
00:04:14,168 --> 00:04:19,507
I'm in this band and we've got this incredibly
sweet demo. I think you should hear it.
23
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:23,540
I can't take that tape from you.
It's called unsolicited material.
24
00:04:23,636 --> 00:04:28,381
Hey, but this is the real thing, man. This is
rock 'n' roll. None of that gimmicky stuff.
25
00:04:28,474 --> 00:04:32,388
I would love to hear it,
but if it's unsolicited, I can't touch it.
26
00:04:32,478 --> 00:04:34,600
We've been trying to get solicited...
27
00:04:34,688 --> 00:04:38,388
Well, then maybe a gimmick would help.
The cream always rises, OK?
28
00:04:38,483 --> 00:04:40,808
Super-duper. Thanks.
29
00:04:40,902 --> 00:04:42,811
All right, dude. Thanks a lot. Whoa!
30
00:04:42,904 --> 00:04:46,902
You again!
You just can't learn, can you, scumbag?
31
00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:49,443
Take care now.
32
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,495
Here's your tape.
33
00:05:01,255 --> 00:05:03,331
Hey. How was your day?
34
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:06,719
Oh, Gary is a tremendous asshole.
35
00:05:06,802 --> 00:05:10,551
He had this whole stack of invoices
and he made me arrange them by date.
36
00:05:10,639 --> 00:05:12,928
- He's such a tweaker.
- It sucks.
37
00:05:13,559 --> 00:05:17,852
- Did you mail the rent?
- You, uh... you didn't leave me a stamp.
38
00:05:18,730 --> 00:05:21,268
Well, maybe you could have
gone and bought one.
39
00:05:21,483 --> 00:05:23,357
Ow!
40
00:05:25,904 --> 00:05:29,854
Chazz! What the hell
happened to my make-up?
41
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,192
It fell in the toilet.
42
00:05:33,244 --> 00:05:35,616
Shit! Babe, come on.
43
00:05:35,705 --> 00:05:39,240
- I told you not to leave it on the tank.
- You ruined my make-up, butt!
44
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:42,583
What's this attitude, Kayla?
Know what I've been through today?
45
00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:44,876
I guess you woke up
when the sun was warm...
46
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:49,424
...and rode your Harley up and down Melrose
impressing all the 15-year-old girls, right?
47
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:52,961
I was down at Palatine Records.
That's where I was.
48
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:57,058
Really? What happened?
49
00:05:57,142 --> 00:06:01,010
I had a meeting with
a big record executive and, uh...
50
00:06:01,104 --> 00:06:03,180
What did he say? Why didn't you tell me?
51
00:06:03,273 --> 00:06:05,681
Well, we talked about solicitation...
52
00:06:05,776 --> 00:06:10,687
...and the guy said he'd snap us up
in a second if it weren't for the lawyers.
53
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:13,485
- Did he like the tape?
- I was about to give it to him...
54
00:06:13,575 --> 00:06:17,193
...then a security guard showed up
and ruined everything.
55
00:06:18,329 --> 00:06:19,408
56
00:06:19,706 --> 00:06:21,663
- Come on.
- Please.
57
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:24,911
Hey, it's true. I'm making
really good contacts. I am.
58
00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:29,748
When they hear this song they'll go apeshit.
It's just gonna take time. What's the big deal?
59
00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:35,262
The "big deal" is that I'm doing the bullshit
work and you're living the rock 'n' roll life.
60
00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:39,426
- I wanna live the life, too.
- I'm doing this for us.
61
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:44,218
Come on, babe. You know that
once I make it you got a free ride.
62
00:06:44,313 --> 00:06:46,186
I'm gonna treat you like gold.
63
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:49,225
Chazz, it's been months.
64
00:06:49,317 --> 00:06:51,606
Maybe you should get a job.
65
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:59,408
This is my job. I am trying managers, record
executives, club owners. That's hard work.
66
00:06:59,494 --> 00:07:02,945
You get to sit in a nice office all day
smoking and drinking coffee.
67
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:05,578
- Oh!
- This is bullshit!
68
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:08,537
- Oh, my snout.
- You bastard!
69
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,210
I hate you. You are nobody
and you are never gonna be anybody.
70
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,046
You're treating me like I'm a goober
after I wrote this song for you?
71
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:19,090
You wrote that song before you even met me.
72
00:07:20,014 --> 00:07:23,299
- So?
- So you get out!
73
00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:26,677
Get out now! Get lost!
74
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,430
- OK, OK, OK, OK. Kayla!
- Go!
75
00:07:28,522 --> 00:07:30,431
- Keep going!
- Kayla!
76
00:07:30,524 --> 00:07:32,730
You poser!
77
00:07:32,818 --> 00:07:35,688
I always knew you were a loser!
78
00:07:36,446 --> 00:07:38,937
Everyone warned me!
79
00:07:39,616 --> 00:07:42,107
I hate your music! I always have!
80
00:07:44,913 --> 00:07:46,988
She booted you out again, huh?
81
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:49,658
What a bitch.
82
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,826
I mean, that that happened.
83
00:07:51,919 --> 00:07:54,706
Hey, she's gonna be jealous
in six months from now...
84
00:07:54,797 --> 00:07:57,798
...when we're on the cover
of Rip magazine lookin' cool.
85
00:07:57,883 --> 00:08:00,172
- Shut up.
- I'm just sayin'.
86
00:08:01,136 --> 00:08:02,880
- Rex.
- What?
87
00:08:02,972 --> 00:08:06,257
I told you to stock the end caps
and mop the employee lounge.
88
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:09,602
- Too late. I'm outta here.
- I'll tell Covington.
89
00:08:09,686 --> 00:08:11,762
Oh, be quiet.
90
00:08:18,904 --> 00:08:20,979
Hey, Chazz, what's up?
91
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:26,152
- He's movin' in with us for a while.
- Great! We can rock out after breakfast.
92
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:30,740
Things are gonna happen to us no matter
what that chimp from Palatine Records says.
93
00:08:30,832 --> 00:08:35,125
You see, that's just it. You think
everything's gonna happen to you.
94
00:08:35,211 --> 00:08:37,250
You gotta make it happen.
95
00:08:37,338 --> 00:08:42,415
How many practices have you missed
cos you're cleaning up some stiff's pool?
96
00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:47,043
Get in the truck, dingus.
97
00:08:56,648 --> 00:08:58,724
I'll be right there.
98
00:09:04,197 --> 00:09:08,491
Man, Chazz is right. All we gotta do
is make our own action, you know?
99
00:09:08,576 --> 00:09:12,444
That's the way it is, little bro.
D'you think Tommy Lee waited for the bus?
100
00:09:12,538 --> 00:09:16,322
Man, he hustled. That's how come
he gets to pork Heather Locklear.
101
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:19,204
Yeah, well, we got the look, man.
We're gonna be huge.
102
00:09:19,295 --> 00:09:21,169
Yeah, we're almost there.
103
00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:26,925
Chazz says once we get a contract, chicks
with breast implants pick out your clothes.
104
00:09:27,011 --> 00:09:30,047
Cover your mouth.
You're shooting phlegm all over my ass.
105
00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:33,056
Say "gesundheit". I say it for you, man.
106
00:09:35,143 --> 00:09:37,219
Honey, I'm home.
107
00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:43,313
- Hey, Pip, check this out.
- Oh! Oh!
108
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:46,486
The Incredible Crash Dummies. Whoo!
109
00:09:46,613 --> 00:09:49,530
You must have five-fingered
most of the store by now.
110
00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:53,032
Oh, man. Most of these guns
are discontinued anyway.
111
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:58,616
Like this Uzi water pistol.
They got rid of it cos it looked too real.
112
00:09:58,708 --> 00:10:00,784
- Yo!
- Mama.
113
00:10:03,713 --> 00:10:07,128
Wow. Now you got yourself
a whole arsenal here.
114
00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:09,422
115
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,554
What are you doing?
116
00:10:15,641 --> 00:10:18,807
Pepper sauce. Active ingredient: capsicum.
117
00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:22,310
You blast this in somebody's face
and they're all like "Oh! Oh!"
118
00:10:23,732 --> 00:10:27,314
Some Hollywood Boulevard trash
comes shimmying up the rain pipe...
119
00:10:27,569 --> 00:10:29,645
- Hey!
- Whoa!
120
00:10:33,324 --> 00:10:34,356
121
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:39,243
Listen up, you lowlifes, what the hell
are we doin' here on a Thursday night?
122
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,789
That's right.
123
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,993
Rock 'n' roll!
124
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:47,953
OK, we're here to party tonight...
125
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,620
...with our little buddies...
126
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,836
...the Sons of Thunder.
127
00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:59,259
Sons of Thunder? Didn't we blow them off
the stage at Chez Bang six months ago?
128
00:10:59,349 --> 00:11:05,719
So why don't all you little idiots
press your faces up against the speakers...
129
00:11:05,814 --> 00:11:09,017
...and blow your brains out!
130
00:11:12,195 --> 00:11:15,896
Look at this crap. What do we give away
first, hats or hair-care products?
131
00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:19,240
Girls, you wanna get us
a couple of drinks, please?
132
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,287
Ooh, serious bumper.
133
00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:27,410
You wanna punch it up, Ian?
You're as spunky as a corpse.
134
00:11:27,501 --> 00:11:30,621
The Sons of Thunder,
for Christ's sake? Pablum.
135
00:11:30,713 --> 00:11:34,545
- How can you even tell these bands apart?
- I read the trades.
136
00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:38,962
First of all I'd like to say thanks to Ian
and Rebel Radio for playing our single...
137
00:11:39,054 --> 00:11:41,343
...and basically getting us signed.
138
00:11:41,849 --> 00:11:43,307
Is this on?
139
00:11:45,644 --> 00:11:49,392
♪ Don't hate me
140
00:11:49,481 --> 00:11:51,639
Look at them stupid pantaloons.
141
00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:55,398
- That's what we gotta do.
- Looks like they got a load in them pants.
142
00:11:55,779 --> 00:12:00,275
No, they played this song on the radio, and
they got an album. That's what we gotta do.
143
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:04,115
♪ Your lips are full, your head is empty
144
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:07,953
♪ This faded Valentine is what you sent me
145
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:13,453
All we've got to do is get 'em
to play the tape and we're golden.
146
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:16,381
- This is never gonna work.
- Pip, what is your problem?
147
00:12:16,549 --> 00:12:19,964
Remember that guy Doper Greg?
Remember that guy, man?
148
00:12:20,052 --> 00:12:25,010
He used to blow bong hits in his iguana's
face and make the thing watch cartoons.
149
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:28,094
- So what? Will you shut up?
- Just get to the point. What?
150
00:12:28,185 --> 00:12:32,134
He won a radio giveaway and when he went
to the station they wouldn't let him in.
151
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:37,817
It was like this total security building. They
slid his ticket through a slot with salad tongs.
152
00:12:37,902 --> 00:12:41,354
So just because that anus couldn't get in
means that we can't?
153
00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:44,698
If anybody gives us any static,
I shove this in their face.
154
00:12:44,784 --> 00:12:46,658
Agh!
155
00:12:46,744 --> 00:12:49,496
But remember that fat kid
on Hard Copy with a toy gun?
156
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,071
The cop zapped him with a Taser
till he went bald.
157
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:55,369
Then he sued for a million bucks
when his pubes didn't grow.
158
00:12:55,461 --> 00:12:57,869
He's still got no hair on his balls, man.
159
00:13:06,346 --> 00:13:08,422
Go to the back.
160
00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:20,768
161
00:13:33,831 --> 00:13:36,749
- It's locked.
- Pip, give me your bank card.
162
00:13:38,836 --> 00:13:43,297
- Come on, let's go. I'll get this door open.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
163
00:13:44,717 --> 00:13:46,793
Piece of cake. Watch this.
164
00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:50,342
- What's your secret code?
- Huh? What for?
165
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,005
That's how these things work.
166
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,800
- I can't tell you my code.
- Will you tell him the code? And hurry up.
167
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:58,769
You punch it in, OK?
168
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,936
Please don't look.
169
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:15,535
- Hey! The thing took my card!
- Oh, shit.
170
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,614
All right. Stand back.
171
00:14:17,707 --> 00:14:19,783
What are you doing, MacGyver?
172
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,535
Open it up. I'm gonna short-circuit it.
173
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:28,497
- Nah.
- We almost got in. That's too bad. Let's go.
174
00:14:28,592 --> 00:14:31,712
- Hey, Pip, you quitting on us?
- The door's locked.
175
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:36,264
You flake! You don't care about this band.
You run around all day in your fudgies.
176
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,595
- Not true.
- It is too!
177
00:14:37,684 --> 00:14:40,887
- I always gotta tell you to put pants on.
- He's making this up!
178
00:14:40,979 --> 00:14:45,475
Will you both shut up, please?!
OK. You're brothers, all right?
179
00:14:45,567 --> 00:14:47,892
We haven't lucked out yet. Stay here, Pip.
180
00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:50,025
Agh! You got a big mouth, man!
181
00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:56,159
Hey, Pip.
182
00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:08,451
183
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:10,207
Oh, my God.
184
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:15,711
Pip. Pip.
185
00:15:16,555 --> 00:15:18,382
Oh, my... Here.
186
00:15:18,473 --> 00:15:22,851
Are you all right? Cos I'm really sorry.
I just came out for a cigarette.
187
00:15:23,186 --> 00:15:28,144
- It's all right. Don't worry about it.
- I'm really sorry. I just came out and bonk!
188
00:15:31,403 --> 00:15:33,691
- Hi.
- Hi.
189
00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:35,986
Suzzi, caller 50 needs some tickets.
190
00:15:36,074 --> 00:15:39,906
Shit. I gotta go. Bye.
191
00:15:41,913 --> 00:15:43,573
Yeah! Sweetness.
192
00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,951
Come on.
193
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,376
There we go.
194
00:15:57,052 --> 00:15:59,128
195
00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:11,649
You wanna make a change, right? Get serious
about your look at Hair Bomb on Melrose.
196
00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:16,027
- What, Doug?
- Um, here, see. It's all there.
197
00:16:16,112 --> 00:16:20,739
Coloring, razor cuts, popcorn, perms and
weaves. It brings out the rock star in you.
198
00:16:21,993 --> 00:16:25,528
- Well, this is beautiful.
- Well, I try to be a team player.
199
00:16:26,372 --> 00:16:28,448
I may need you to come in tomorrow.
200
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:31,744
I'm cutting loose some dead weight.
There'll be a lot going on.
201
00:16:31,836 --> 00:16:34,124
Oh, boy.
202
00:16:34,213 --> 00:16:39,124
- What's the problem?
- Well, I've been having a little bit of, uh...
203
00:16:39,218 --> 00:16:44,804
- ...itching on my... It could be hemorrhoids.
- I don't wanna hear that.
204
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:48,555
I know. It's just that I made
an appointment with my proctologist...
205
00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:51,644
...to get some type of cream or something.
206
00:16:52,355 --> 00:16:56,519
So you're gonna leave me high and dry?
That's a nice team attitude.
207
00:16:57,235 --> 00:17:00,983
Well, I suppose I could
come in for most of Saturday.
208
00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:03,480
- And Sunday.
- Well, yeah, yeah.
209
00:17:03,575 --> 00:17:07,074
Now, when are you planning
on breaking this to everyone?
210
00:17:08,246 --> 00:17:11,163
I thought I'd wait for
exactly the right moment.
211
00:17:11,249 --> 00:17:15,246
I mean, these things require
a certain measure of delicacy.
212
00:17:15,669 --> 00:17:17,080
213
00:17:17,171 --> 00:17:20,337
♪ Are you ready
214
00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:22,630
♪ To rumble?
215
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:25,672
Sunday! Swamp motorcycle racing
at its best.
216
00:17:25,762 --> 00:17:29,594
The USSCA brings you the ultimate
in swamp-race action.
217
00:17:29,683 --> 00:17:32,553
60,000 cubic feet of
muddy slop poured into...
218
00:17:32,644 --> 00:17:34,518
Hey.
219
00:17:37,399 --> 00:17:39,107
We're a band.
220
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:42,525
Of course. The Partridge Family.
Which one of you is Laurie?
221
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,573
- Get out.
- We came to talk to you about a demo tape.
222
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:52,574
We were wondering if you could set us up
like you did with the Sons of Thunder.
223
00:17:52,747 --> 00:17:56,495
How did you morons get in?
They've got electronic locks on the doors.
224
00:17:56,584 --> 00:17:58,244
We had to break in.
225
00:17:58,335 --> 00:18:02,285
- This place is sealed up like a dolphin's butt.
- Watertight!
226
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,959
Let me get this straight.
227
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:08,796
Um...
228
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,046
You guys are an unsigned band...
229
00:18:11,139 --> 00:18:15,635
...and you broke into the radio station
to get your demo played on the air?
230
00:18:16,394 --> 00:18:19,644
- That's about the skinny of it.
- And what sound...
231
00:18:19,731 --> 00:18:23,396
...are you megastars of the future hip to?
232
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:25,726
What is your musical vibe?
233
00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:27,729
- Well...
- That's a good question.
234
00:18:27,822 --> 00:18:31,321
- We could play anything.
- Not that slap-bass noise. I hate that.
235
00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:35,027
- It's more like a power slop.
- But we don't limit ourselves to labels.
236
00:18:35,121 --> 00:18:40,993
There's always someone who wants to
lump you together with the other buttholes.
237
00:18:41,085 --> 00:18:43,837
This is one of the things
we're struggling against.
238
00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:47,041
- I'm telling you, it is tough.
- This guy knows.
239
00:18:47,466 --> 00:18:52,258
I got booted out of Palatine Records, my
girlfriend kicks me out of the apartment...
240
00:18:52,346 --> 00:18:55,430
Well, I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to conjure up...
241
00:18:55,515 --> 00:18:58,053
...the kind of woman
who would go out with you.
242
00:18:58,143 --> 00:19:01,512
She's not like what you'd think.
She's actually really cool...
243
00:19:01,605 --> 00:19:07,394
...and, well, I guess what it all comes down to
is that we really care about each other and...
244
00:19:07,485 --> 00:19:10,854
...I screwed up. She's been
there for me from the beginning.
245
00:19:10,947 --> 00:19:13,901
I think I let her down,
but I still want us to be tight.
246
00:19:13,992 --> 00:19:16,067
Uh-oh, I think we're busted.
247
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,738
- What did I do now?
- Get these guys out. Are we still on air?
248
00:19:20,831 --> 00:19:24,496
Milo, I get six minutes of talk an hour.
What do you care how I spend them?
249
00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:27,420
Get these morons off the air.
I'm warning you.
250
00:19:27,505 --> 00:19:31,419
- Ease up. Somebody gave you a break once.
- Even though you're a goon.
251
00:19:31,508 --> 00:19:34,509
I say we make this an open forum.
Let's hear the man out.
252
00:19:34,595 --> 00:19:38,462
Go ahead, Conan. Explain to Milo
why we should play your tape.
253
00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:42,175
I'm not pulling pud here.
My entire life force is on this tape...
254
00:19:42,269 --> 00:19:46,053
...and I don't know what else to say.
Come on, man, can you give us a shot?
255
00:19:46,314 --> 00:19:51,190
- How can you say no to that?
- You're on thin ice. You're not untouchable.
256
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:55,227
- You think you are, but you're not.
- Get out. Without me you have no ratings.
257
00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:58,193
We'll see about that.
Let's go. Out! All you losers.
258
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:02,447
- Get your hands off me, Jackson.
- You wanna try gettin' physical with me?
259
00:20:03,039 --> 00:20:08,460
Listen, you shaved ape, I could have you
picking up garbage for the rest of the decade.
260
00:20:08,544 --> 00:20:10,833
You wanna get smart with me? Try it.
261
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:14,372
I will not be pushed around
by Hollywood Boulevard trash like you.
262
00:20:14,466 --> 00:20:16,542
I'm trash?
263
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:19,133
You think you're better than me? Huh?
264
00:20:19,221 --> 00:20:22,138
- Oops.
- He's got a gun! He's got a gun!
265
00:20:22,224 --> 00:20:24,097
Hey, stop squirming, pussy!
266
00:20:24,184 --> 00:20:29,261
I'll fill your face so full of lead,
you'll be shitting bullets for a week!
267
00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:32,137
- Come on, Rex.
- Shut up.
268
00:20:32,233 --> 00:20:35,768
- Ian, you wanna talk to these fellas?
- What do you suggest?
269
00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:39,112
- Say something. They like you.
- Shut up, dick-smoke!
270
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:41,570
Chazz, come on.
271
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:47,198
All right. You would've been cool, but then
this penis had to step in and get heavy.
272
00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:49,745
All we wanna do is to
be heard, and then go.
273
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,206
Believe me, I understand.
Just cool it, huh?
274
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:55,379
Why don't you cut your losses?
You're in over your head.
275
00:20:55,464 --> 00:21:00,340
Shut your face! Just shut your stupid face!
I know exactly what I'm doing.
276
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:05,303
That's the problem with you guys. You think
cos you have a big job you know something.
277
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:10,100
- Wrong! You got Hagar slacks, a pony-nub.
- Bet it ain't even real.
278
00:21:10,187 --> 00:21:13,022
- Ow!
- Hey, hey, hey. Just cool it, huh?
279
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,395
Hey, guys, we're all rock 'n' rollers here.
280
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,108
You look like half a butt-puppet that...
281
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,614
Do you know what it's like to be
on the bill, play for 15 minutes...
282
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:28,489
...and the only people there
are the other bands?
283
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:32,577
Don't talk to me about rock 'n' roll!
I'm out there in the clubs living it!
284
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,410
I am rock 'n' roll!
285
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:37,917
It's guys like you and Jimmie Wing
that ruin everything...
286
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,208
- ...for everyone.
- Jimmie, they're talking about you on KPPX.
287
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,960
Come here.
288
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:46,919
Then you realize there's a million
of these Jimmie Wing bone-smugglers.
289
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,339
These guys are running the industry...
290
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,724
...and they don't know
a damn thing about rock 'n' roll!
291
00:21:56,731 --> 00:21:58,391
OK.
292
00:22:02,028 --> 00:22:03,059
Hello. Police.
293
00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:07,982
I'll tell you what, Mr. Program-Director
Man, you put our goddamn tape on the air.
294
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:11,741
It's gonna get some airplay or
my man's gonna gank you here and now!
295
00:22:11,829 --> 00:22:14,747
- Shit, yeah.
- Well, let's not go ganking anyone.
296
00:22:14,832 --> 00:22:18,450
- Um, if we play the tape, will you go?
- That's all we need, d-cheese.
297
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:20,869
Play the thing, Milo. Do what he says.
298
00:22:20,963 --> 00:22:23,454
Play it! What are you waiting for?
299
00:22:24,216 --> 00:22:27,549
- Sorry about all this. Enjoy.
- I can't wait.
300
00:22:28,053 --> 00:22:32,003
We can't play this tape.
We're only set up for CDs and cassettes.
301
00:22:32,849 --> 00:22:34,972
We should've brought a cassette.
302
00:22:35,060 --> 00:22:39,223
A cassette makes my background vocal
sound like someone's stepping on my nuts.
303
00:22:39,314 --> 00:22:43,228
- God. Mr. Perfectionist.
- Quit necking. All we got was a quarter-inch.
304
00:22:43,318 --> 00:22:46,651
There's gotta be a reel-to-reel.
Find it. It's a radio station.
305
00:22:50,324 --> 00:22:52,400
Yeah. That's it there.
306
00:22:54,537 --> 00:22:57,158
Milo, didn't I tell you
to knock when you come in?
307
00:22:57,248 --> 00:23:00,913
Just keep quiet and get that
reel-to-reel deck down to the booth.
308
00:23:01,001 --> 00:23:06,755
Telling me to shut up now? A brother can't
talk without the white man slap him down.
309
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,916
Just do it, Marcus!
310
00:23:10,886 --> 00:23:11,716
Damn.
311
00:23:20,937 --> 00:23:26,560
White man with a gun. Same shit been
happenin' to my people for 425-odd years.
312
00:23:27,694 --> 00:23:29,770
Hey, you like working here, man?
313
00:23:31,030 --> 00:23:33,984
We're down, man. Hendrix was God.
314
00:23:34,075 --> 00:23:37,574
You wanna take a step back?
You're standing on my dick, man!
315
00:23:37,662 --> 00:23:41,576
Yeah, I seen that. Anthrax and Public
Enemy, that was outta control, man.
316
00:23:41,665 --> 00:23:44,951
Together, you know. You catch that one, G?
317
00:23:45,044 --> 00:23:46,917
Don't call me G.
318
00:23:47,004 --> 00:23:49,577
- What do you want me to call you?
- Hey, come on.
319
00:23:49,673 --> 00:23:51,417
All right, that's it.
320
00:23:51,508 --> 00:23:55,553
I can't wait for you to put that gun down,
cos when you do we're gonna throw down.
321
00:23:55,637 --> 00:23:58,555
That's right. We're gonna get serious.
Mano a swine.
322
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,676
Hey, look, just shut
your pie hole and keep working.
323
00:24:01,768 --> 00:24:04,555
Pie hole? That supposed
to be some Cracker slang?
324
00:24:09,484 --> 00:24:11,560
Come on, let's go.
325
00:24:13,988 --> 00:24:14,984
Agh!
326
00:24:28,878 --> 00:24:30,336
Ooh! Ooh!
327
00:24:34,550 --> 00:24:36,838
You can't smoke here, babe.
328
00:24:36,927 --> 00:24:38,670
Yeah? What am I doin' now?
329
00:24:39,179 --> 00:24:43,046
You should put it out.
The smoke could damage the equipment.
330
00:24:47,187 --> 00:24:48,729
- Are you ready?
- Almost.
331
00:24:48,813 --> 00:24:51,102
OK, give us a real nice intro.
332
00:24:51,191 --> 00:24:55,235
And don't say anything about us
having a gun to your head.
333
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,811
- OK, who are you guys?
- My name's Pip.
334
00:24:58,781 --> 00:25:02,446
- The band. The band name.
- Sorry about that.
335
00:25:02,535 --> 00:25:06,449
- He doesn't wear a helmet, does he?
- It's right there on the box. Read it.
336
00:25:07,081 --> 00:25:09,702
"The Lone Rangers." That's original.
337
00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:14,910
- How can you pluralize "The Lone Ranger"?
- What's wrong with that?
338
00:25:15,005 --> 00:25:18,339
Well, there's three of you.
You're not exactly lone.
339
00:25:18,425 --> 00:25:21,461
Shouldn't you be The Three Rangers?
340
00:25:23,847 --> 00:25:26,764
I've no idea what you're saying right now.
341
00:25:26,933 --> 00:25:29,685
- You lost me.
- Forget it, Ian. Just play the thing!
342
00:25:29,769 --> 00:25:32,260
Yeah, forget it. Come on, just play it.
343
00:25:33,398 --> 00:25:37,727
Listen up, guppies, Ian the Shark is back
and have I got a surprise for you.
344
00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:40,488
I've got goose bumps, frankly.
345
00:25:40,571 --> 00:25:43,276
For the first time ever,
I'm willing to bet...
346
00:25:43,366 --> 00:25:48,989
...here's that hit single
by The Lone Rangers.
347
00:25:49,705 --> 00:25:51,781
348
00:25:59,757 --> 00:26:01,832
349
00:26:04,928 --> 00:26:08,344
- Turn it off! Come on, man.
- What did you do? What you doing?
350
00:26:08,432 --> 00:26:13,805
- Tonto must have loaded the tape in wrong.
- Hey, your machine dilapitatled it, man.
351
00:26:13,895 --> 00:26:15,555
Hey!
352
00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:18,182
Oh, what?! Hey! Oh!
353
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:22,146
- Hey, that's my jacket!
- Put it out!
354
00:26:22,236 --> 00:26:23,896
Please!
355
00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:28,858
- Oh, man. The demo's wasted.
- What are we gonna do now?
356
00:26:29,493 --> 00:26:31,367
Run!
357
00:26:33,205 --> 00:26:34,865
It's the inbreeding.
358
00:26:37,209 --> 00:26:39,285
Go! Go! Go!
359
00:26:49,930 --> 00:26:51,803
- Man.
- How'd they know we were here?
360
00:26:51,932 --> 00:26:56,309
I don't know. I don't know.
OK. Look, maybe they're just on patrol.
361
00:26:56,394 --> 00:26:58,932
All right, we didn't do nothing, right?
362
00:26:59,939 --> 00:27:02,265
- What?
- You go.
363
00:27:02,358 --> 00:27:04,232
You guys suck.
364
00:27:05,153 --> 00:27:07,774
Everything's all right. It's cool.
365
00:27:34,264 --> 00:27:36,257
Let me in! Let me in!
366
00:27:37,267 --> 00:27:39,722
I don't wanna go to jail. I'm fragile.
367
00:27:44,107 --> 00:27:45,981
Go!
368
00:27:47,527 --> 00:27:49,187
Argh!
369
00:27:56,327 --> 00:27:58,865
Shit! We're surrounded.
370
00:27:58,954 --> 00:28:02,537
Why don't we give ourselves up?
We could say we were joking around.
371
00:28:02,625 --> 00:28:05,661
They'll cart us off
before you can say "Rudolph Redpecker".
372
00:28:05,753 --> 00:28:09,964
- Well, you didn't have to break out the gun.
- They wouldn't play the tape.
373
00:28:10,048 --> 00:28:11,922
- You didn't have to do that!
- Shut up.
374
00:28:12,009 --> 00:28:14,132
- You shut up!
- Both of you shut up!
375
00:28:14,219 --> 00:28:17,386
If we go outside, we get roped.
We stay and figure it out.
376
00:28:17,681 --> 00:28:19,341
Excuse me?
377
00:28:19,724 --> 00:28:21,883
- Oh, jeez.
- More people. OK.
378
00:28:21,977 --> 00:28:26,389
We round everyone up, put 'em in the station
and nobody leaves until we figure this out.
379
00:28:26,606 --> 00:28:29,014
What was she on the Clydesdale scale?
380
00:28:29,734 --> 00:28:34,977
Yeah, that's where you gotta figure how many
Clydesdales it'd take to tear her off your face.
381
00:28:35,072 --> 00:28:37,279
Later. Let's go.
382
00:28:38,701 --> 00:28:42,995
I knew from looking at him
that he was a bomb about to go off.
383
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,488
A big fat media bomb!
384
00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:48,039
They're gonna be all over the news now.
385
00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:51,661
Time magazine, Larry King Live.
386
00:28:51,755 --> 00:28:54,080
If the song's in English,
it's a gold record.
387
00:28:54,174 --> 00:28:56,250
Come on, come on, let's go.
388
00:28:57,552 --> 00:28:59,426
Hi again.
389
00:28:59,513 --> 00:29:00,592
Hi.
390
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,014
Hey, hey, you guys think
you're gonna waste anybody?
391
00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,635
Cos if you are, pop Milo first.
That guy's a bozo de luxe.
392
00:29:07,729 --> 00:29:09,721
Uh-huh? Go.
393
00:29:09,814 --> 00:29:11,688
394
00:29:21,325 --> 00:29:24,112
Perhaps it won't be long
until this thing blows over.
395
00:29:27,790 --> 00:29:29,664
Argh!
396
00:29:32,419 --> 00:29:34,293
Argh!
397
00:29:39,217 --> 00:29:42,088
All right, everybody on
the floor right now.
398
00:29:43,972 --> 00:29:47,590
Do you mind if I sit in a chair?
I don't wanna get all cruddy.
399
00:29:48,518 --> 00:29:51,638
- Uh, yeah.
- Thank you.
400
00:29:51,730 --> 00:29:54,980
If she doesn't sit on the floor,
I don't know why I have to.
401
00:29:55,066 --> 00:29:57,391
You heard the man.
Hit the deck or I smoke you.
402
00:29:57,485 --> 00:30:02,526
Sit down on the floor now! Everybody else
gets to sit in a chair except for you.
403
00:30:06,452 --> 00:30:08,326
Are we... are we still on the air?
404
00:30:24,970 --> 00:30:28,386
- Have you made contact?
- No. One guy came out, but he went back in.
405
00:30:28,473 --> 00:30:31,308
Have Dispatch give us their number.
Let's call them.
406
00:30:31,851 --> 00:30:35,931
- You getting this, Wilson?
- Establish contact, ensure it's no false alarm.
407
00:30:36,022 --> 00:30:38,228
I know the procedure.
408
00:30:41,694 --> 00:30:45,312
- Could I get something to eat, man?
- You hungry, buddy?
409
00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:48,027
Hey, Chazz. Chazz.
410
00:30:48,117 --> 00:30:50,074
What?
411
00:30:57,876 --> 00:31:01,245
- Why is everyone staring at me?
- That guy says he's hungry.
412
00:31:01,338 --> 00:31:04,173
Who gives a shit?!
I'm trying to think here, OK?
413
00:31:04,258 --> 00:31:06,334
414
00:31:14,726 --> 00:31:17,347
KPPX, where the action never stops.
415
00:31:17,937 --> 00:31:20,013
Oh, hi.
416
00:31:20,565 --> 00:31:25,191
Well, there's three psychotic musicians
with guns. How would you feel?
417
00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:28,145
I have no idea.
418
00:31:28,239 --> 00:31:30,315
The leader? Hold on.
419
00:31:31,325 --> 00:31:33,697
It's the police.
420
00:31:33,786 --> 00:31:35,862
They wanna talk to you.
421
00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:41,247
He doesn't wanna talk.
422
00:31:41,335 --> 00:31:45,712
What am I supposed to do, beg him?
What are you doing to get us out of here?
423
00:31:46,798 --> 00:31:48,874
OK, fine.
424
00:31:50,302 --> 00:31:52,627
He wants you to go out and talk to him.
425
00:31:53,138 --> 00:31:55,047
Bag that. What for?
426
00:31:55,182 --> 00:31:58,099
He wants to know your demands
for releasing the hostages.
427
00:31:58,184 --> 00:32:02,312
- Oh, my God!
- Demands? What's he mean by "hostages"?
428
00:32:03,064 --> 00:32:07,393
I've got a reality check for you, curly.
What you're doing is a felony, maybe worse.
429
00:32:07,485 --> 00:32:11,898
- What are your demands?
- Nothing. I just don't wanna go outside.
430
00:32:13,074 --> 00:32:15,150
OK. Come here, come here.
431
00:32:15,868 --> 00:32:19,616
- What do we need?
- A hockey stick up the backside of his head.
432
00:32:19,705 --> 00:32:22,457
I'm warning you. Don't bring Chazz down!
433
00:32:22,791 --> 00:32:24,867
Thank you, Rex.
434
00:32:25,669 --> 00:32:29,252
All right. Now, what do we want?
435
00:32:29,631 --> 00:32:31,707
Uh, Chazz?
436
00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:45,684
I like your hair.
437
00:32:46,064 --> 00:32:49,267
- What's that?
- My name's Suzzi, with two z's.
438
00:32:49,359 --> 00:32:50,901
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
439
00:32:51,069 --> 00:32:54,319
So you, like, answer the phones
and all that stuff?
440
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:57,406
Mm-hm. Yeah, for, like, six hours a day.
441
00:32:57,491 --> 00:32:59,283
Oh, what a drag, huh?
442
00:33:01,412 --> 00:33:05,824
I understand you're trying to make a
statement, but this is getting out of hand.
443
00:33:05,916 --> 00:33:09,451
Hey, come on, you know where
I'm coming from. Be a sport, will ya?
444
00:33:09,628 --> 00:33:13,708
All right, but can we move this along?
Now, why did you come here?
445
00:33:13,799 --> 00:33:18,259
I came here for a lousy three minutes
and 31 seconds of airplay. That's it.
446
00:33:18,345 --> 00:33:23,766
Fine. Now there's cops outside with guns,
and you're holding people hostage, right?
447
00:33:23,850 --> 00:33:27,301
- Uh, yeah.
- On top of that, your tape is destroyed.
448
00:33:28,521 --> 00:33:32,020
So, there's only one thing that you can do.
449
00:33:35,153 --> 00:33:37,690
Get the other copy of the demo.
450
00:33:37,780 --> 00:33:39,440
Yeah!
451
00:33:39,824 --> 00:33:41,484
Rex!
452
00:33:41,993 --> 00:33:44,068
453
00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:50,948
Bastard!
454
00:33:54,171 --> 00:33:57,622
You called on the phone,
but we're not at home.
455
00:33:57,716 --> 00:34:02,010
Leave a message for Chazz. We'll
call you back soon, so don't have a spaz!
456
00:34:02,095 --> 00:34:04,301
457
00:34:05,599 --> 00:34:08,268
Come on, come on.
Stay back now! Back there!
458
00:34:08,351 --> 00:34:10,308
Hold it! Hold it!
459
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,429
I want you to control this crowd.
460
00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:16,104
If they give you any trouble,
cuff 'em and throw 'em in the squad car.
461
00:34:16,192 --> 00:34:19,608
Technically I can't do that, Sergeant.
The Civilian Review...
462
00:34:19,695 --> 00:34:24,488
I know what the Civilian Review Committee
says, but they're not doing crowd control.
463
00:34:24,575 --> 00:34:29,237
Listen, when you're in the line of fire you
do what's necessary to get the job done.
464
00:34:29,330 --> 00:34:34,406
You don't break the law but occasionally you
bend it. When that time comes, improvise.
465
00:34:34,501 --> 00:34:35,035
Yes, sir.
466
00:34:38,005 --> 00:34:40,081
Cover me.
467
00:34:40,590 --> 00:34:42,382
468
00:34:42,467 --> 00:34:46,381
Get your hands up over your head.
Get down on the pavement! Get down!
469
00:34:46,471 --> 00:34:47,965
- What the f...
- Sergeant.
470
00:34:48,056 --> 00:34:50,132
What?
471
00:34:50,225 --> 00:34:53,759
You men, back off. Get back,
goddammit! Put those guns down!
472
00:34:53,853 --> 00:34:57,721
It's OK. You can get up when...
Goddammit, get back!
473
00:34:57,815 --> 00:35:00,437
What the hell is this?
You invited me to come out!
474
00:35:00,526 --> 00:35:04,227
You surprised us. I'm Sergeant O'Malley.
I'm here to work with you.
475
00:35:04,322 --> 00:35:07,192
- What's your name?
- My rhythm section's watching me!
476
00:35:07,283 --> 00:35:09,571
Nobody's gonna hurt you. Everybody OK?
477
00:35:09,660 --> 00:35:13,871
- They're all fine. My name's Chazz.
- Great. It's good to meet you, Chazz.
478
00:35:13,956 --> 00:35:16,411
Tell me what I can do
to get you to end this.
479
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:20,201
- You gotta find my tape.
- Sure. OK. What kind of tape is it?
480
00:35:20,295 --> 00:35:22,833
It's a demo tape. We wanna
play it on the air.
481
00:35:22,923 --> 00:35:26,339
You wanna play this tape on the radio,
then you'll come out?
482
00:35:26,426 --> 00:35:31,088
Right. The machine inside ate the original.
My girlfriend's got the only other copy.
483
00:35:31,181 --> 00:35:35,593
- Give me her number. I'll call her.
- I already tried that. She's off for the night.
484
00:35:35,685 --> 00:35:38,141
- You're gonna have to find her.
- Where is she?
485
00:35:38,229 --> 00:35:41,313
I don't know. Try the Strip somewhere.
Maybe The Whisky.
486
00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:43,934
She's...
487
00:35:44,026 --> 00:35:47,146
She's totally pissed at me, but...
488
00:35:47,863 --> 00:35:51,197
Is that her? She's a... real looker.
489
00:35:52,118 --> 00:35:52,948
Yeah.
490
00:35:53,536 --> 00:35:55,824
Why don't black people like me?
491
00:35:56,288 --> 00:36:00,831
- Excuse me?
- It's just that I listen to a lot of rap music...
492
00:36:00,918 --> 00:36:03,076
...and I know how angry black people are.
493
00:36:03,170 --> 00:36:06,455
And I feel bad for all you guys
gotta put up with.
494
00:36:06,548 --> 00:36:08,671
Well, that's very nice of you.
495
00:36:08,759 --> 00:36:13,171
How about when you go into a store
and all the clerks start starin' at you...
496
00:36:13,263 --> 00:36:17,723
...like you're gonna rob the place and
you're like "I just wanna buy something"?
497
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:20,300
That's never happened.
Does that happen to you?
498
00:36:20,395 --> 00:36:25,306
Ah, no, but I'm just saying
that would be bad if it did.
499
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,357
Look at Chazz doing his thing.
500
00:36:27,443 --> 00:36:30,017
Listen, Chazz...
501
00:36:30,112 --> 00:36:32,485
...this is gonna take some time, OK?
502
00:36:32,573 --> 00:36:36,902
You have to send out one of the hostages just
as a sign of good faith. That's my rules.
503
00:36:36,994 --> 00:36:41,074
All right, fine. You have
your orders, Chief. Now get cracking.
504
00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:44,410
-
-
505
00:36:49,506 --> 00:36:52,044
It's more like power slop but with an edge.
506
00:36:53,552 --> 00:36:56,089
OK. The cops are going to get Kayla.
507
00:36:56,179 --> 00:36:59,630
I cut a deal with them.
We've gotta send one person out.
508
00:37:00,225 --> 00:37:02,098
Please.
509
00:37:02,185 --> 00:37:04,059
I'll go.
510
00:37:04,145 --> 00:37:05,805
- A hostage, doof.
- Sorry.
511
00:37:05,897 --> 00:37:09,479
But not me, man. It's just too cool.
512
00:37:09,567 --> 00:37:12,105
Why don't we let Yvonne go, man?
She's very nice.
513
00:37:12,195 --> 00:37:16,275
Wait a minute. I don't see why you
automatically have to choose a woman.
514
00:37:16,866 --> 00:37:19,570
Well, it's kind of sexist, don't you think?
515
00:37:19,660 --> 00:37:21,902
I mean, we could draw straws.
516
00:37:22,162 --> 00:37:24,369
- We could...
- OK.
517
00:37:24,540 --> 00:37:27,706
Yvonne, go. You'll be home
in time for The Simpsons.
518
00:37:28,127 --> 00:37:30,285
Stay strong, sister.
519
00:37:30,379 --> 00:37:32,087
Congratulations.
520
00:37:32,839 --> 00:37:38,260
Hey, butterball, I think you're exceeding
the maximum weight limit for that belt.
521
00:37:44,976 --> 00:37:47,467
Wilson, get over here!
522
00:37:51,107 --> 00:37:56,611
I'm sending out a sweep of Sunset Strip for the
girlfriend. I want you there to supervise.
523
00:37:56,737 --> 00:37:58,481
Whoa.
524
00:37:58,572 --> 00:38:01,028
Oh, God. Oh, God.
525
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,323
Oh, God. Oh, God.
526
00:38:07,706 --> 00:38:09,782
527
00:38:11,794 --> 00:38:13,869
Argh!
528
00:38:20,343 --> 00:38:23,926
- Whoa, look, we got fans.
- I didn't know that many people knew us.
529
00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:26,505
-
- Hey, hold this. Thanks.
530
00:38:27,434 --> 00:38:29,509
Hey!
531
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,359
- I'm gonna miss Yvonne.
- Let me tell you something.
532
00:38:45,451 --> 00:38:49,069
Don't chitchat with them.
They're not buddies. They're hostages.
533
00:38:49,163 --> 00:38:50,443
I was trying to be nice.
534
00:38:51,165 --> 00:38:54,783
I know, but then every time you tell
somebody to get on the floor...
535
00:38:54,877 --> 00:38:58,826
...they're gonna be like "Even me, Pip?
I thought we had something going."
536
00:38:58,922 --> 00:39:01,793
You gotta scare these people.
Practice. Just try it.
537
00:39:01,883 --> 00:39:05,928
I just feel a little goofy trying
to be a badass with a water pistol.
538
00:39:06,012 --> 00:39:10,923
They don't know that. They think it's real.
Now show me what you got. Come on.
539
00:39:11,476 --> 00:39:14,679
OK. Get over there, please. Thank you.
540
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,599
What are you, a crack baby?
Give me that. I'll show you.
541
00:39:18,691 --> 00:39:20,767
All right.
542
00:39:21,527 --> 00:39:24,611
Hey, you! You shut your mouth,
you bastard...
543
00:39:24,697 --> 00:39:27,863
...or I'll stab your eyeballs out
and piss all over your brain!
544
00:39:27,950 --> 00:39:33,454
It's gonna be a slaughterhouse, with bodies
flying through the air like dolls on fire!
545
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:36,112
Oh, my God.
546
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,782
- OK?
- OK, all right. Thank you.
547
00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:44,252
- All right, against the wall.
- Come on, tough, tough!
548
00:39:44,341 --> 00:39:48,504
- Seriously, move it.
- I'm not scared, Pip. Come on.
549
00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:51,715
- I'm gonna stab your heads off.
- With what? With what?
550
00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:53,466
- With my dick!
- Yeah!
551
00:39:53,558 --> 00:39:56,725
Yeah! Blood's gonna come
out of your head...
552
00:39:56,811 --> 00:40:00,974
...and there's nothing you can do
about it cos I'm a madman!
553
00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:04,646
- That's good.
- It kinda hurt my throat.
554
00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:08,186
Come on, come on, move, move.
555
00:40:14,411 --> 00:40:16,487
Shit! Here comes the cavalry.
556
00:40:17,956 --> 00:40:21,408
So she boots me out of my own house
and now I'm at the motor lodge.
557
00:40:21,502 --> 00:40:24,538
12 years of marriage and devotion
down the tubes.
558
00:40:24,713 --> 00:40:28,876
- Hello, O'Malley.
- They called you too soon. It's solved itself.
559
00:40:28,967 --> 00:40:33,878
Good, cos I'm taking over the interior
perimeter. You and your boys can fall back.
560
00:40:33,972 --> 00:40:37,175
Like hell you are. Didn't you hear?
We don't have a situation.
561
00:40:37,267 --> 00:40:40,054
Well, what do you call
an office full of hostages?
562
00:40:40,144 --> 00:40:42,896
Mace, I'm in the middle of negotiations...
563
00:40:42,980 --> 00:40:47,393
...and until I decide there are no options,
you don't use force.
564
00:40:47,485 --> 00:40:49,442
Well, OK, O'Malley.
565
00:40:49,528 --> 00:40:51,854
It's your show.
566
00:40:53,616 --> 00:40:55,276
- Hello?
- Hello.
567
00:40:55,367 --> 00:40:57,656
- May I help you, sir?
- Hello.
568
00:40:57,745 --> 00:41:02,869
Please could you put me through to someone
on the scene. I don't have much time.
569
00:41:06,712 --> 00:41:08,585
Oh, Christ.
570
00:41:08,672 --> 00:41:12,752
Looks like you got your hands full,
Mr. Hostage Negotiator.
571
00:41:12,843 --> 00:41:14,005
Let's go.
572
00:41:14,094 --> 00:41:17,427
I want those media people back.
Come on! Move it! Get it back!
573
00:41:17,514 --> 00:41:21,048
- Dispatch has another call from inside.
- Swell.
574
00:41:21,142 --> 00:41:25,009
Listen, you sick sack of swill,
if you hurt one single...
575
00:41:25,104 --> 00:41:27,393
- I don't have much time.
- What? Who is this?
576
00:41:27,482 --> 00:41:29,558
Doug Beech. I work at the radio station.
577
00:41:29,650 --> 00:41:34,193
- Speak up, Beech. Are they molesting you?
- No, I'm hiding in the air-cooling system.
578
00:41:34,530 --> 00:41:36,404
They don't know that I'm here.
579
00:41:36,490 --> 00:41:39,906
I want you to do something
but I can't let you put yourself at risk.
580
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,118
- What?
- You got any kind of training?
581
00:41:42,204 --> 00:41:45,205
- I was in the merchant marines.
- Yeah, I copy that.
582
00:41:45,290 --> 00:41:48,042
- Get them away from the van.
- I was an accountant.
583
00:41:48,126 --> 00:41:50,202
Nah, you won't be held accountable.
584
00:41:50,295 --> 00:41:53,166
Listen, I want you to be my man inside.
585
00:41:54,091 --> 00:41:59,167
This is what I want you to do, Beech. I
want you to check in with me periodically.
586
00:41:59,262 --> 00:42:02,845
I want you to talk to me directly
and me only. I have a number for you.
587
00:42:04,726 --> 00:42:06,802
Check it out. Come on in.
588
00:42:07,895 --> 00:42:10,682
- I'm gonna clip us some Cs, dude.
- Sweet.
589
00:42:11,899 --> 00:42:16,976
We've got these guys by the short curlies.
We could demand free stuff from the cops.
590
00:42:17,071 --> 00:42:20,771
What am I talking about? There's
probably cool stuff here. Play track two.
591
00:42:20,866 --> 00:42:23,191
As long as we're here
let's hear decent jams.
592
00:42:23,285 --> 00:42:26,452
593
00:43:44,739 --> 00:43:47,312
Oh, yeah! This is the real Rebel Radio.
594
00:43:47,408 --> 00:43:51,405
The voice of the resistance:
this is Chazz speaking. Yo!
595
00:43:51,495 --> 00:43:54,164
Shit, man, you guys oughta to have fun.
596
00:43:54,248 --> 00:43:56,157
You can't cuss on the air.
597
00:43:57,417 --> 00:44:01,795
Hey, look at all the stuff we found.
There's $5,000 worth of backstage passes.
598
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,335
- You guys scored.
- Can I bogart one of these?
599
00:44:04,424 --> 00:44:08,635
You've gotta see this. We've got CDs,
we've got T-shirts, we've got...
600
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:11,211
Oh, what have we here?
601
00:44:11,306 --> 00:44:16,133
Those sound like concert tickets to me.
What do you say we take a few calls?
602
00:44:16,227 --> 00:44:18,101
- You're on the air.
-
603
00:44:18,187 --> 00:44:20,559
Ooh, let's turn down your radio, asshole.
604
00:44:20,648 --> 00:44:23,649
I'm sorry. I wanna talk
to the guy with the gun.
605
00:44:23,734 --> 00:44:26,688
I just said you're on the air,
numbnuts. So talk already.
606
00:44:26,779 --> 00:44:31,524
I want some tickets to that show with
Penelope Lovestocking and Crimson Shroud.
607
00:44:31,617 --> 00:44:34,701
Oh, man, you actually listen
to that Seattle bullshit?
608
00:44:34,787 --> 00:44:37,823
- Shroud rips, dude.
- All right, bro, no problem.
609
00:44:37,915 --> 00:44:41,580
You gotta come down because
we've got free tickets to give away...
610
00:44:41,668 --> 00:44:46,247
...but we are completely surrounded by
cops. We need some feedback here. Go.
611
00:44:46,339 --> 00:44:49,257
- You're on the air.
- Whoa, am I on the air?
612
00:44:49,342 --> 00:44:54,087
- Come on, Butt-head, give me the phone.
- Am I speaking English, dipshit?
613
00:44:54,180 --> 00:44:57,798
- Come on, Butt-head! No way.
- Shut up, Beavis.
614
00:44:57,892 --> 00:45:01,593
- So what do you guys want?
- You guys are, like, The Lone Rangers, right?
615
00:45:01,687 --> 00:45:04,724
- Yeah.
- We saw you at The Wheel Well last month.
616
00:45:04,815 --> 00:45:08,101
- You suck.
- Come down here and say that, you punks!
617
00:45:08,194 --> 00:45:13,733
- Yeah, you can kiss my ass.
- Why don't you make the chicks get naked?
618
00:45:13,824 --> 00:45:16,315
Usual crop of retards.
619
00:45:17,161 --> 00:45:19,449
Hey, guys, you're on TV.
620
00:45:20,414 --> 00:45:25,206
A band of failed musicians lashing out
at the society that won't listen to them.
621
00:45:25,294 --> 00:45:30,632
Their target, the only capitalist edifice
their MTV-soaked minds recognize:
622
00:45:30,715 --> 00:45:35,211
- a rock 'n' roll radio station.
- Oh, man. This is complete bullshit.
623
00:45:35,303 --> 00:45:39,135
...and I quote: "White urban males
are the least likely to elicit tears...
624
00:45:39,224 --> 00:45:43,007
...from a city already beleaguered
by people with real problems."
625
00:45:43,102 --> 00:45:46,305
- The mayor is on holiday...
- I'd like to croak that bitch.
626
00:46:16,426 --> 00:46:18,300
627
00:46:21,514 --> 00:46:24,432
Mace, we have contact with the man inside.
628
00:46:27,145 --> 00:46:30,976
- Beech, is that you?
- They've got six hostages.
629
00:46:31,065 --> 00:46:34,481
- It's three weirdos with Uzis.
- Outstanding, Beech.
630
00:46:34,568 --> 00:46:37,439
You just keep your eyes open
and your tail down.
631
00:46:37,780 --> 00:46:41,528
Have you got any personnel at home
you want me to call, like a wife?
632
00:46:41,617 --> 00:46:45,116
No, no, I don't even have a home.
I've got a condo.
633
00:46:45,204 --> 00:46:49,415
Listen, I guess I've just tried
to wait to meet the right woman.
634
00:46:49,499 --> 00:46:55,004
I guess I should have waited longer myself.
Let me tell you about the shrew I married.
635
00:46:55,547 --> 00:46:59,591
I used to come home tired every night,
sometimes five or six in the morning.
636
00:46:59,676 --> 00:47:02,167
I dropped my underwear
on the floor one time...
637
00:47:02,262 --> 00:47:07,636
...had a teeny-weeny little skid mark in it.
You'd have thought I started World War Nine.
638
00:47:09,977 --> 00:47:12,350
- There you go.
- Thank you.
639
00:47:13,606 --> 00:47:16,607
You've really great arms.
You should show them off.
640
00:47:16,692 --> 00:47:18,851
How does he do that?
641
00:47:18,944 --> 00:47:22,360
Pip? He gets his hands
on more bumper than a body shop.
642
00:47:22,448 --> 00:47:25,817
With that "I seem so stupid
I must be cute" routine?
643
00:47:25,909 --> 00:47:30,239
That's the quiet cool.
Chicks, man, they just flock on it.
644
00:47:30,330 --> 00:47:34,707
Man, you got hot CDs here and I never hear
them. Why don't you ever play these guys?
645
00:47:34,793 --> 00:47:36,999
That's Milo's call. Why don't we play 'em?
646
00:47:37,170 --> 00:47:40,753
If they're so hot, how come
they're not tearing up the charts, babe?
647
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,592
Cos you never play 'em, babe. You suck.
648
00:47:43,677 --> 00:47:47,377
- What do you think, Ian?
- To tell you the truth, I stick to the classics.
649
00:47:47,722 --> 00:47:50,557
Rock 'n' roll's been all downhill
since Lennon died.
650
00:47:50,642 --> 00:47:55,469
My whole life, people have been cramming
this classic-rock crap down my throat.
651
00:47:55,563 --> 00:47:57,602
Think I give a shit about the Beatles?
652
00:47:57,690 --> 00:48:01,474
No offense, but today's music
doesn't have a whole lot to say.
653
00:48:01,569 --> 00:48:06,527
Is that right? So you're gonna tell me
that "Purple Haze" says something?
654
00:48:06,615 --> 00:48:09,984
Hey, Ian, man, wait till
you hear our stuff. We kick ass.
655
00:48:10,077 --> 00:48:13,861
Swell. Yeah, I can't wait
to hear your brilliant song.
656
00:48:13,956 --> 00:48:17,371
Beats the shit out of the fruity music
you listen to, tough guy.
657
00:48:17,459 --> 00:48:21,042
He's got himself a whole crate of
Kenny G CDs and you're talking trash?
658
00:48:21,129 --> 00:48:23,086
A crate of CDs?
659
00:48:23,173 --> 00:48:26,791
He's got a stockpile of easy-listening
shit-shingles in his office.
660
00:48:26,885 --> 00:48:30,799
You don't even listen to music. What
are you doing with a whole crate of CDs?
661
00:48:30,889 --> 00:48:34,222
Those are free promos.
I use 'em as stocking stuffers.
662
00:48:34,475 --> 00:48:36,966
It's the middle of July!
663
00:48:37,687 --> 00:48:43,108
Aloha out there in radio land.
This is Oedipus Rex on WKPP-Rex...
664
00:48:43,192 --> 00:48:45,765
...comin' at ya,
smooth-talking DJ terrorist.
665
00:48:45,861 --> 00:48:48,483
These guys rule.
You're gonna hear some new shit.
666
00:48:48,572 --> 00:48:50,861
667
00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:01,658
There's a box of that crap right there.
668
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:11,174
Yeah, dude.
669
00:49:34,908 --> 00:49:38,028
Blonde, wearing something tight and black.
670
00:49:39,037 --> 00:49:42,240
Great. Grand. Wonderful.
671
00:49:42,332 --> 00:49:45,250
672
00:50:08,232 --> 00:50:10,937
Come on, fellas. Let's
put a sock in it, OK?
673
00:50:30,754 --> 00:50:32,711
What the hell are these?
674
00:50:33,214 --> 00:50:36,583
They're shorts, Ian.
You know, pants with little legs?
675
00:50:36,801 --> 00:50:38,710
And this?
676
00:50:39,220 --> 00:50:42,257
Hey, I don't have
to explain myself to you, man.
677
00:50:43,391 --> 00:50:46,060
- Come here.
- What? I'm right here.
678
00:50:49,522 --> 00:50:52,439
Speak to me. What's goin' down?
679
00:50:52,525 --> 00:50:54,351
OK, um...
680
00:50:54,443 --> 00:50:56,436
We're changing formats.
681
00:50:56,529 --> 00:50:59,316
Sunday at midnight
the station goes soft rock.
682
00:50:59,823 --> 00:51:05,030
- Rebel Radio's goin' soft?
- We're changing our name to The Rain.
683
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,869
You know, "Relax to the mellow
sounds of The Rain on KPPX."
684
00:51:11,001 --> 00:51:14,120
That, and we're being forced to re-staff.
685
00:51:14,754 --> 00:51:17,541
- You pud!
- All those blow jobs for nothing.
686
00:51:17,632 --> 00:51:21,333
You're firing me, you little
snake-in-the-grass bastard?
687
00:51:21,427 --> 00:51:24,345
Where do you get the balls to fire me?
688
00:51:24,430 --> 00:51:28,558
This was handed down from above, Ian!
I fought this kicking and screaming!
689
00:51:28,643 --> 00:51:33,055
You've just begun to kick and scream,
you sniveling putz. I'll kill you!
690
00:51:33,981 --> 00:51:35,855
- Agh!
- A fight!
691
00:51:39,904 --> 00:51:42,821
- Yeah!
- Ooh! Ow, my spine!
692
00:51:58,380 --> 00:52:00,456
You're Kayla!
693
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,082
I need to talk to you about Chazz Darby.
694
00:52:03,176 --> 00:52:06,794
If Chazz needs any bail money,
you can just tell him to forget it.
695
00:52:06,888 --> 00:52:12,095
Look, there's a situation down at Rebel
Radio. I'm gonna need to take you in.
696
00:52:12,393 --> 00:52:14,682
Look, Chazz says you've got a tape.
697
00:52:15,563 --> 00:52:16,938
Please!
698
00:52:17,023 --> 00:52:20,059
Hey, check out Barney Fife.
699
00:52:30,619 --> 00:52:34,284
Don't you think you're
out of your league, chunk-style?
700
00:52:35,415 --> 00:52:39,365
Look, I don't wanna have
to bring you boys in on a 148.
701
00:52:40,253 --> 00:52:42,542
That's obstruction.
702
00:52:48,511 --> 00:52:51,346
Now what are you gonna do about that?
703
00:52:55,351 --> 00:52:57,011
Ow!
704
00:52:57,103 --> 00:52:58,930
Improvise.
705
00:52:59,021 --> 00:53:03,600
So she says to me "He was only
cleaning the pool filter, Sniggles."
706
00:53:03,692 --> 00:53:08,769
And I'm thinking to myself "It's 7 PM, he's
in dungarees and his equipment is bone-dry."
707
00:53:08,864 --> 00:53:10,738
Pool filter, my ass!
708
00:53:10,824 --> 00:53:16,827
Thing is, she could have left me for a
plastic surgeon, but a lousy pool cleaner?!
709
00:53:17,247 --> 00:53:20,698
Kayla, if you're listening,
I really need that demo tape.
710
00:53:20,792 --> 00:53:22,785
You gotta get it to the station.
711
00:53:22,878 --> 00:53:24,669
Dammit.
712
00:53:37,683 --> 00:53:39,925
Shoo, dog. Oh, shoo!
713
00:53:42,229 --> 00:53:44,056
Ugh.
714
00:53:57,327 --> 00:53:59,616
Now stay.
715
00:54:08,964 --> 00:54:11,668
Uh, 67 copies of Moby-Dick.
716
00:54:13,176 --> 00:54:16,130
- The movie or the book?
- They made a book out of that?
717
00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:18,427
- Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah, get the book.
718
00:54:18,514 --> 00:54:22,382
- What are you guys doing?
- We're taking the cops up on those demands.
719
00:54:22,477 --> 00:54:26,260
- We've got a killer list.
- Yeah. We ask for airplay and whatever else...
720
00:54:26,355 --> 00:54:29,938
...then we demand a bunch of weird stuff
so we can plead insanity later.
721
00:54:30,025 --> 00:54:32,943
- Where did this come from?
- Pip's idea.
722
00:54:33,028 --> 00:54:34,902
Way to go, Pip.
723
00:54:34,989 --> 00:54:37,111
You guys are crazy, man.
724
00:54:37,199 --> 00:54:39,690
You're all whoo-hoo and shit.
725
00:54:42,037 --> 00:54:45,702
- So, what else we got so far?
- Number one: airplay, underlined twice.
726
00:54:45,791 --> 00:54:48,364
Number two:
a helmet filled with cottage cheese.
727
00:54:48,460 --> 00:54:51,414
Number three: a Zon walnut bass
with a graphite neck.
728
00:54:51,630 --> 00:54:53,539
- Thank you.
- Hey! What about me?
729
00:54:53,631 --> 00:54:56,585
- Go for broke. It's on the LAPD.
- Oh.
730
00:54:56,676 --> 00:55:01,172
- I want a PRS Guitar with the dragon inlay.
- Nice.
731
00:55:03,474 --> 00:55:05,099
I'm coming, you bastard.
732
00:55:05,184 --> 00:55:08,470
Number 13: naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
733
00:55:08,938 --> 00:55:11,476
- Excuse me?
- The chick from The Golden Girls.
734
00:55:11,565 --> 00:55:17,022
Look, I know who she is. I'm just a street
cop. How am I supposed to find all this stuff?
735
00:55:17,112 --> 00:55:19,401
A giant baby bottle? Give me a break.
736
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:22,574
You better figure it out,
or it's curtains for everyone.
737
00:55:22,659 --> 00:55:27,654
Oh yeah, and we want a record contract, so
let's get some record executive here pronto.
738
00:55:31,084 --> 00:55:33,836
- What?
- Why'd you ask for a record contract?
739
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,956
- That's what we want.
- You don't demand one from the cops.
740
00:55:37,048 --> 00:55:39,539
It's gotta come unsolicited.
741
00:55:39,634 --> 00:55:43,085
- What's unsolicited?
- Forget it. Just forget it.
742
00:55:43,179 --> 00:55:45,635
What did I do? I'm just yankin' the guy.
743
00:55:45,723 --> 00:55:50,468
It's one thing to goof around but we do have
a serious agenda here. Are you with that?
744
00:55:50,561 --> 00:55:52,637
- Yeah, I'm with that.
- Good.
745
00:55:58,068 --> 00:55:59,479
Moody.
746
00:55:59,820 --> 00:56:01,943
747
00:56:02,031 --> 00:56:03,904
Pip?
748
00:56:04,741 --> 00:56:06,817
What are you thinking about?
749
00:56:07,661 --> 00:56:09,737
Swimming pools.
750
00:56:10,455 --> 00:56:15,164
- Swimming pools, huh?
- Yeah. I wish I was in one right now.
751
00:56:15,252 --> 00:56:20,459
The water's all clear and cool,
and you spin around in there like an egg.
752
00:56:23,134 --> 00:56:25,210
Do you have a girlfriend?
753
00:56:25,303 --> 00:56:26,963
Mm-mm.
754
00:56:27,055 --> 00:56:28,715
No?
755
00:56:30,016 --> 00:56:32,589
It's kind of weird us
meeting like this, huh?
756
00:56:32,685 --> 00:56:34,761
I don't know.
757
00:56:41,652 --> 00:56:45,021
- We got that background check in.
- Yeah, let me see this.
758
00:56:45,114 --> 00:56:50,737
"Chazz Darby, born Jerkwater, Iowa.
Real name: Chester Ogilvie."
759
00:56:51,203 --> 00:56:55,331
DMV says his occupation
is master of ceremonies.
760
00:56:55,415 --> 00:56:58,084
- Arrests?
- Just two tickets for helmet violation.
761
00:56:58,168 --> 00:57:01,619
Just another small-town punk
comin' out west to be a star.
762
00:57:01,838 --> 00:57:05,836
- Anything else?
- Yeah. The local PD just faxed us his picture.
763
00:57:08,678 --> 00:57:10,552
Chester.
764
00:57:10,638 --> 00:57:13,259
I'm giving you the same rate
as everybody else.
765
00:57:13,349 --> 00:57:16,469
I know it's steep, but think
how many people will listen.
766
00:57:16,561 --> 00:57:18,933
This is primo advertising.
767
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,931
Yo, scumbag,
are you selling ads on our airtime?
768
00:57:23,025 --> 00:57:24,768
Hold on a second, Brad.
769
00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:27,565
D'you mind? I've got a station to run here.
770
00:57:28,072 --> 00:57:32,864
Yeah, I'm back. If the cops kill him before
the spot runs, you'll get a complete refund.
771
00:57:32,951 --> 00:57:35,442
Oh! Uh, Brad.
772
00:57:35,537 --> 00:57:37,613
You just hung up on an important man.
773
00:57:37,706 --> 00:57:38,737
Agh!
774
00:57:40,709 --> 00:57:42,785
775
00:57:51,511 --> 00:57:53,171
Oh.
776
00:57:54,597 --> 00:57:55,427
Help.
777
00:58:02,688 --> 00:58:05,559
D'you find anything in that van? Drugs?
778
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:09,149
Nah, just some toys and
a bunch of pool-cleaning gear.
779
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:13,563
Pool-cleaning gear?
Give me that damn phone.
780
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:15,400
What? A gun!
781
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:19,075
Affirmative. These cowboys
are more dangerous than I thought.
782
00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:22,994
Work your way up the vent ducts to the
roof. Two of my men will meet you there.
783
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:25,704
- Yeah, but a gun?
- Mace out.
784
00:58:25,877 --> 00:58:29,709
Can I ask you something?
What's with you guys and these tattoos?
785
00:58:31,424 --> 00:58:34,129
Check it out. I got this barbed wire here.
786
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:39,466
A gecko. And this one is so cool.
787
00:58:39,557 --> 00:58:43,140
It's, uh... the Grim Reaper. See?
788
00:58:43,227 --> 00:58:47,556
I'm gonna get some more cash and probably
color it in or put some chaps on it.
789
00:58:47,648 --> 00:58:54,564
You know, I can understand "Mom"
or "I Heart Wanda", but why the Reaper?
790
00:58:54,947 --> 00:58:59,027
Well, it's like death is stalking me...
791
00:58:59,117 --> 00:59:03,744
...and it's telling me I better get
off my ass and get this band rolling.
792
00:59:03,830 --> 00:59:06,202
This is for real. I gotta cut a record.
793
00:59:06,291 --> 00:59:12,294
I figure I'm screwed up enough that I could
write a song that'll live on for ever...
794
00:59:12,380 --> 00:59:14,836
...and then after that it don't matter.
795
00:59:16,342 --> 00:59:18,465
You know?
796
00:59:20,513 --> 00:59:24,463
OK, kiddies, listen up because this is
Ian the Shark's final night at KPPX.
797
00:59:24,892 --> 00:59:28,972
Special unscheduled announcement:
effective Monday, this station goes...
798
00:59:29,355 --> 00:59:31,015
...easy listening.
799
00:59:31,106 --> 00:59:34,273
-
- We're having a big farewell party tonight...
800
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:35,937
...so come on down!
801
00:59:39,156 --> 00:59:41,991
As part of our final hurrah
we have a special segment:
802
00:59:42,075 --> 00:59:44,364
"Getting To Know Your Armed Assailant."
803
00:59:44,453 --> 00:59:46,576
Now we have Chazz Darby here.
804
00:59:46,663 --> 00:59:49,617
Now, Chazz, you say
all you wanna do is be heard.
805
00:59:49,708 --> 00:59:53,290
Well, you've got the whole world listening.
What have you got to say?
806
00:59:53,378 --> 00:59:56,498
Well, I guess all we have to say
is that we wanna be heard.
807
00:59:56,589 --> 01:00:00,089
Yeah, well, we've kind of
established that. What else?
808
01:00:00,176 --> 01:00:01,967
Um...
809
01:00:02,053 --> 01:00:04,674
Hey, man, you can't
be putting me on the spot.
810
01:00:04,764 --> 01:00:07,765
You want him to make a speech?
Who does he look like, Sting?
811
01:00:07,850 --> 01:00:13,437
OK, you've sold out the Forum, you're
standing in front of 20,000 screaming fans.
812
01:00:13,522 --> 01:00:16,856
- What are you gonna say to 'em?
- I'm gonna say...
813
01:00:16,942 --> 01:00:19,314
...rock 'n' roll!
814
01:00:19,403 --> 01:00:21,442
815
01:00:21,738 --> 01:00:24,027
Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!
816
01:00:24,783 --> 01:00:26,657
Yeah.
817
01:00:26,868 --> 01:00:30,866
That's it? You'll scream "Rock 'n' roll"?
You're gonna go to jail for that?
818
01:00:31,164 --> 01:00:34,948
There's a saying, Milo:
"If it's too loud, you're too old."
819
01:00:35,251 --> 01:00:37,327
820
01:01:23,882 --> 01:01:26,918
- Where are you goin'?
- You mind if I take a pee, man?
821
01:01:28,177 --> 01:01:30,253
Good luck.
822
01:01:32,431 --> 01:01:34,341
Don't forget to shake.
823
01:01:35,351 --> 01:01:37,557
Milo.
824
01:01:37,645 --> 01:01:40,396
What are you doing, you little buttnut?
825
01:01:40,481 --> 01:01:43,150
Milo, Milo, Milo.
826
01:01:43,233 --> 01:01:45,107
Milo!
827
01:01:46,779 --> 01:01:48,985
- Open the door, Milo.
- Quiet.
828
01:01:49,072 --> 01:01:50,780
I said open the door, Milo.
829
01:01:51,867 --> 01:01:53,943
830
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:56,780
- What was that?
- I don't know.
831
01:01:56,872 --> 01:02:01,332
- Don't yell at me, Milo.
- You're screwing on a $1,400 leather couch!
832
01:02:01,418 --> 01:02:04,833
You're so rude! You don't just
burst in here without knocking.
833
01:02:04,921 --> 01:02:08,254
- If there is one stain on that couch...
- You'll what?
834
01:02:08,591 --> 01:02:11,545
Fire me? Well, guess what? I quit!
835
01:02:11,636 --> 01:02:16,381
Oh, don't. I don't want you to lose your
job over this. Milo, this was my bust.
836
01:02:16,474 --> 01:02:21,349
- A screamfest... Oh, Pip.
- Get your filthy shoes off my furniture!
837
01:02:21,479 --> 01:02:25,856
- Suzzi, you can leave right now.
- No, I can't, because I'm a hostage...
838
01:02:25,941 --> 01:02:27,733
...and Pip is my...
839
01:02:27,818 --> 01:02:30,190
Pip is my man with a gun.
840
01:02:30,279 --> 01:02:33,482
- And he says I get to stay. Right, Pip?
- Sorry, dude.
841
01:02:33,574 --> 01:02:35,899
Pip, put the monster away.
842
01:02:35,993 --> 01:02:37,866
Oh, now what?
843
01:02:38,412 --> 01:02:41,578
- All right, everybody back to the booth.
- Argh!
844
01:02:45,251 --> 01:02:49,545
Oh, please, no. Don't do this. I can't
take it, man. My aunt was buried alive!
845
01:02:49,631 --> 01:02:52,003
- Give it a rest.
- Not in the closet!
846
01:02:52,091 --> 01:02:54,499
- What are they doing?
- Messin' with our heads.
847
01:02:54,594 --> 01:02:57,595
-
- Chazz! Chazz. Guys.
848
01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:01,760
- Hey, Chazz, let me in.
- Keep an eye on him, Pip.
849
01:03:02,768 --> 01:03:05,888
Chazz. Hey, guys. Chazz, let me in.
850
01:03:05,980 --> 01:03:09,395
- Who are you?
- Chris Moore, Capitol Records. Let me in.
851
01:03:09,483 --> 01:03:14,822
- I told you, man. Things are going our way.
- Take a few steps back from the door!
852
01:03:14,905 --> 01:03:16,981
And toss me some ID.
853
01:03:17,824 --> 01:03:20,031
- OK, here.
- How'd you find us?
854
01:03:20,118 --> 01:03:26,121
The cops told me you're looking for a record
contract. We've gotta take advantage of this.
855
01:03:26,207 --> 01:03:28,912
- Yeah, what's that?
- Will you look? This is hot.
856
01:03:29,002 --> 01:03:33,046
- You're the hottest thing since Marky Mark.
- Marky Mark! That guy sucks.
857
01:03:33,131 --> 01:03:36,334
OK, forget him.
There's magic here. Let's talk contracts.
858
01:03:36,426 --> 01:03:40,719
I promise you, someday we're gonna be
backstage at the Forum laughing about this.
859
01:03:41,430 --> 01:03:45,510
All right, what side did you take
in the big David Lee Roth-Van Halen split?
860
01:03:45,685 --> 01:03:47,392
- What?
- What a question.
861
01:03:47,478 --> 01:03:50,763
- What side did you take? Halen or Roth?
- Van Halen.
862
01:03:50,856 --> 01:03:53,774
- He's a cop.
- Later, bacon.
863
01:03:53,859 --> 01:03:59,529
Strictly a judgment call. They sold a lot of
records after David left. One more question.
864
01:03:59,615 --> 01:04:03,778
Right, right, right. Who'd win
in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?
865
01:04:03,869 --> 01:04:04,900
- Lemmy.
- Ah!
866
01:04:04,995 --> 01:04:08,198
- God.
- Wrong. Trick question. Lemmy is God.
867
01:04:08,290 --> 01:04:10,745
- Oh, come on.
- Get the hell out of here!
868
01:04:10,834 --> 01:04:13,206
Get out of here! Get out of here!
869
01:04:13,378 --> 01:04:17,043
What the hell is this, O'Malley?
Now you bring in a cop to try to kill me?
870
01:04:17,131 --> 01:04:19,669
Is that it? I'm not going nowhere, pal!
871
01:04:19,759 --> 01:04:23,922
- You put the power back on.
- You're stirring the crowd up.
872
01:04:24,013 --> 01:04:26,006
I got free concert tickets here!
873
01:04:26,098 --> 01:04:28,554
For me and you and you...
874
01:04:28,642 --> 01:04:33,470
What the hell is going on? Get those
people outta here! Get 'em outta here!
875
01:04:34,815 --> 01:04:36,772
I love a parade!
876
01:04:39,319 --> 01:04:44,065
Hey, man, check out all that poony! We could
parley this into a hummer! They love us!
877
01:04:44,157 --> 01:04:45,817
Yeah, they love us.
878
01:04:45,909 --> 01:04:50,737
- You put the power back on!
- No, I won't, Chazz. I'm drawin' the line there!
879
01:04:51,873 --> 01:04:55,538
- Yo, is everyone havin' a good time tonight?
- Yeah!
880
01:04:55,627 --> 01:04:58,544
- Wanna see the cops shut this party down?
-
881
01:04:58,796 --> 01:05:02,212
So they got the cards. We got the numbers!
882
01:05:07,096 --> 01:05:10,013
Rodney King! Rodney King!
883
01:05:10,224 --> 01:05:13,391
Rodney King. Rodney King.
884
01:05:20,567 --> 01:05:22,477
Holy shit!
885
01:05:22,569 --> 01:05:25,239
Rodney King?
What's that supposed to mean?
886
01:05:25,322 --> 01:05:26,982
He's that guy.
887
01:05:32,704 --> 01:05:34,780
Rodney King!
888
01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:39,453
All right, dammit!
Turn the goddamn power back on!
889
01:05:45,258 --> 01:05:47,049
Chazz! Chazz!
890
01:05:47,135 --> 01:05:50,135
Kayla! I tried to call you.
I'm sorry, it was my fault.
891
01:05:50,221 --> 01:05:52,510
No, I was being a bitch.
892
01:05:52,598 --> 01:05:55,884
Why don't you give it up, Chester?
You can talk it over later.
893
01:05:55,976 --> 01:05:59,844
- Stay out of this and get your hands off her!
- Why did he call you that?
894
01:05:59,939 --> 01:06:02,939
- Uh...
- There's a lot Chester didn't tell you about.
895
01:06:03,025 --> 01:06:06,690
- What's he talking about, Chazz?
- It's, uh... He's, uh...
896
01:06:06,778 --> 01:06:10,147
Ah, shi... You, man...
Kayla, there's something I gotta tell you.
897
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,529
What?
898
01:06:12,617 --> 01:06:14,277
Um...
899
01:06:16,246 --> 01:06:18,784
- I was a geek in school.
-
900
01:06:19,082 --> 01:06:20,956
I had really short hair.
901
01:06:21,042 --> 01:06:23,165
I played Dungeons and Dragons.
902
01:06:23,336 --> 01:06:26,420
- I had a bug collection. I ate my boogers.
- Ugh!
903
01:06:26,923 --> 01:06:29,046
My name's not Chazz.
904
01:06:29,842 --> 01:06:31,918
It's Chester.
905
01:06:33,262 --> 01:06:35,718
And I understand if
you don't love me any more.
906
01:06:42,271 --> 01:06:44,228
I play D&D, too!
907
01:06:46,900 --> 01:06:49,107
I was editor of the school magazine.
908
01:06:49,194 --> 01:06:51,436
Yeah!
909
01:06:53,073 --> 01:06:56,656
- I used to wear corduroy pants.
-
910
01:06:56,743 --> 01:06:59,234
I used to masturbate... constantly.
911
01:07:01,581 --> 01:07:05,282
- We're with you, Chazz.
- I want your body!
912
01:07:17,471 --> 01:07:19,630
Hey, Chazz! Chazz!
913
01:07:20,057 --> 01:07:22,762
914
01:07:32,653 --> 01:07:34,526
Whoo!
915
01:07:34,947 --> 01:07:37,023
916
01:07:40,952 --> 01:07:43,989
OK, this is my girlfriend Kayla.
She brought the tape.
917
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:45,954
- About time.
- What's happening?
918
01:07:46,041 --> 01:07:48,745
We're going on the air, Pip.
We're going live!
919
01:07:48,835 --> 01:07:51,242
Oh, whoa. What happened to this?
920
01:07:51,337 --> 01:07:52,997
It fell off the nightstand.
921
01:07:53,339 --> 01:07:56,459
What did you do to my tape?
Can we even play this?
922
01:07:56,551 --> 01:07:59,635
Maybe if I clean it up
and re-spool it. Christ!
923
01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:04,512
- I came all the way down here just to bring it!
- And you took real good care of it, Yoko!
924
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,260
OK, everybody, shut up!
925
01:08:06,352 --> 01:08:13,149
Chazz, I have been with you...
almost as long as these two assholes!
926
01:08:13,233 --> 01:08:16,567
I think it's about time
they treated me with a little respect!
927
01:08:16,653 --> 01:08:19,144
This thing smells like piss, man.
928
01:08:19,239 --> 01:08:23,948
Kayla, I don't have time for this noise. Did
you come to bitch at Rex or to help us out?
929
01:08:24,035 --> 01:08:26,028
Cos you're being a complete...
930
01:08:29,999 --> 01:08:33,415
I can't believe this, after
all I've done for you!
931
01:08:33,503 --> 01:08:36,208
And then you chew me out
in front of your friends!
932
01:08:36,297 --> 01:08:39,251
- You're acting like a spaz!
- Well, what about you?
933
01:08:39,342 --> 01:08:42,129
You go and pull this moron stunt.
934
01:08:42,428 --> 01:08:47,173
If you would just think for one second
instead of trying to be little glory boy.
935
01:08:47,266 --> 01:08:49,591
- Is that so, huh?
- Yeah, that's so, Chester.
936
01:08:49,685 --> 01:08:51,310
You're outta here.
937
01:08:51,395 --> 01:08:53,720
- What?
- Get outta here! Get lost, all right?
938
01:08:53,814 --> 01:08:56,815
I got a million things to think about,
I don't need you, too.
939
01:08:56,900 --> 01:09:00,565
I'm a part of this. You wrote
that song for me. That's my song!
940
01:09:00,654 --> 01:09:03,571
I wrote that song before I even met you.
941
01:09:09,871 --> 01:09:11,947
You'd better go about your business.
942
01:09:18,004 --> 01:09:19,878
Go about your business.
943
01:09:21,174 --> 01:09:23,629
- Nobody look at me!
-
944
01:09:32,810 --> 01:09:36,973
- My Christ! What are you doing?
- You don't even care.
945
01:09:37,064 --> 01:09:39,555
You don't even care what happens to me!
946
01:09:40,275 --> 01:09:44,273
What have I got? My guitar, my bike and
my woman. That's all I got in the world.
947
01:09:44,363 --> 01:09:47,316
And you keep kicking me out!
It's making me insane!
948
01:09:47,407 --> 01:09:52,614
I figure if I get a record contract, I can
make it up to you. I'm doing this for you!
949
01:09:52,704 --> 01:09:54,946
I suppose now you're gonna say you love me.
950
01:09:55,040 --> 01:10:00,579
Come on! I'm holding a gun to a guy's head
just so the whole world can hear your song.
951
01:10:00,670 --> 01:10:02,746
Is that love or what?
952
01:10:03,381 --> 01:10:05,457
Tell me.
953
01:10:05,925 --> 01:10:08,416
- What do you want from me?
- Tell me.
954
01:10:12,932 --> 01:10:15,008
All right.
955
01:10:16,185 --> 01:10:18,723
- I love you.
- Oh, my God.
956
01:10:24,818 --> 01:10:26,894
What else can I say?
957
01:10:36,454 --> 01:10:38,530
Oh, God!
958
01:10:39,499 --> 01:10:41,575
Oh! Dammit!
959
01:10:44,837 --> 01:10:47,079
Well, that fried out most of the board.
960
01:10:47,173 --> 01:10:48,916
- Great.
- Shit!
961
01:10:55,806 --> 01:10:56,969
Goddamn.
962
01:11:40,850 --> 01:11:42,926
963
01:11:46,438 --> 01:11:48,265
Hey, guys, bring in the stuff.
964
01:11:48,357 --> 01:11:50,433
Yeah!
965
01:11:55,489 --> 01:11:58,904
I can't believe
they actually found all this crap.
966
01:12:00,202 --> 01:12:03,701
I don't know. Maybe we didn't
make the demands weird enough, huh?
967
01:12:03,788 --> 01:12:05,745
Man, these are my people.
968
01:12:05,832 --> 01:12:10,707
Hey, hey, we're partyin' in here. Whoo!
We got all kinds of beer.
969
01:12:15,550 --> 01:12:17,708
Am I rockin' or what?
970
01:12:21,222 --> 01:12:23,095
Shit.
971
01:12:23,641 --> 01:12:26,214
972
01:12:26,310 --> 01:12:27,638
Die, dog!
973
01:12:32,399 --> 01:12:34,688
It's a plastic gun!
974
01:12:40,365 --> 01:12:41,610
Oh, my eyes!
975
01:12:49,499 --> 01:12:52,369
It's a plastic gun!
976
01:12:52,460 --> 01:12:54,120
A plastic gun?!
977
01:12:54,212 --> 01:12:57,248
Did you hear that?
It's a plastic gun. We're moving in.
978
01:12:58,132 --> 01:13:00,291
Everybody get back to the booth!
979
01:13:01,761 --> 01:13:03,837
Hold it!
980
01:13:04,972 --> 01:13:06,514
Don't anybody move!
981
01:13:12,771 --> 01:13:16,899
Now back up against the wall
and put your hands above your heads.
982
01:13:33,416 --> 01:13:35,076
983
01:13:38,546 --> 01:13:42,674
- It's a real gun!
- Fall back behind the barriers.
984
01:13:42,758 --> 01:13:44,834
God help us all!
985
01:13:48,347 --> 01:13:51,431
It's all right, Chazz.
Stay calm. We're pulling back.
986
01:13:58,565 --> 01:14:00,641
Body count! Body count!
987
01:14:08,700 --> 01:14:12,235
Everybody get back to the booth!
Get back! Hurry up!
988
01:14:12,412 --> 01:14:14,618
- Move it, move it, move it.
- Cockroach.
989
01:14:16,583 --> 01:14:18,456
Argh!
990
01:14:29,095 --> 01:14:31,171
991
01:14:31,847 --> 01:14:34,089
- Hello.
- Yes, hello. Put the pig on!
992
01:14:35,809 --> 01:14:39,143
- Chazz, is everybody OK?
- What the hell was that bullshit?
993
01:14:39,229 --> 01:14:43,179
- I'm gonna grease somebody in here, I swear!
- Chazz, don't do anything crazy.
994
01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:47,267
- What was all that firing?
- You tell me. You've got guys in the ceiling!
995
01:14:47,362 --> 01:14:51,229
Calm down. We don't have anybody
trying to break in. I wouldn't do that.
996
01:14:51,324 --> 01:14:55,404
OK, if this bullshit happens again,
I'm gonna start blasting!
997
01:14:55,495 --> 01:14:58,449
You have my word.
How long before you play your tape?
998
01:14:58,540 --> 01:15:00,662
Uh, how long?
999
01:15:00,750 --> 01:15:04,201
Uh, we're workin' on it.
I don't know, pretty soon.
1000
01:15:04,295 --> 01:15:07,000
I'll have a record executive
for you here soon.
1001
01:15:07,089 --> 01:15:11,798
Now, you know my rules. How about sending
out another hostage just as a sign...
1002
01:15:12,678 --> 01:15:17,055
- That guy in the ceiling, what was that?
- He says he doesn't know.
1003
01:15:17,141 --> 01:15:21,090
- Man, back there, that was huge. Thanks.
- Rock 'n' roll.
1004
01:15:22,813 --> 01:15:24,805
Whoo. OK, who's got a Tic Tac?
1005
01:15:26,775 --> 01:15:28,649
1006
01:15:33,073 --> 01:15:35,149
Hello there, boys.
1007
01:15:37,661 --> 01:15:40,448
Hi, Chazz. Jimmie Wing. Remember me?
1008
01:15:40,538 --> 01:15:44,488
I wanted to get in touch with you,
but you didn't leave me your phone number.
1009
01:15:44,584 --> 01:15:47,205
Yeah. Well, I figured you'd come around.
1010
01:15:47,295 --> 01:15:50,664
This is the chimp from Palatine?
I told you, man. We scored.
1011
01:15:50,756 --> 01:15:54,291
- Hi there. Jimmie Wing.
- Hi. How are you?
1012
01:15:54,385 --> 01:15:57,090
Bea Arthur. Outstanding.
1013
01:16:00,849 --> 01:16:05,926
Can you believe it? A record exec came
all the way down here to meet you guys.
1014
01:16:06,021 --> 01:16:08,097
- You have to be careful.
- Jimmie!
1015
01:16:08,190 --> 01:16:11,606
Entertainment executives
make their living screwing people.
1016
01:16:11,693 --> 01:16:14,101
- Got a proposition for you.
- Oh, shit.
1017
01:16:14,196 --> 01:16:20,031
I know you think I'm a dick... cheese... burger,
or whatever, but you need a negotiator.
1018
01:16:20,118 --> 01:16:24,068
I will offer my services for 10%
of the pretax gross. That's standard.
1019
01:16:24,164 --> 01:16:26,405
Shine on that, Chazz. It ain't worth it.
1020
01:16:26,499 --> 01:16:29,286
Think about it.
These things can be very tricky.
1021
01:16:29,377 --> 01:16:35,332
He's right. My ex-boyfriend Parker was
a model, and one time they stole his shoes.
1022
01:16:38,552 --> 01:16:43,179
- He hasn't even heard the demo yet.
- Well, if he likes it, I'd like to help.
1023
01:16:43,265 --> 01:16:44,843
What do you think, Ian?
1024
01:16:44,934 --> 01:16:49,180
No, he's right. But make that 5%, Milo,
you scum-sucking weasel.
1025
01:16:49,271 --> 01:16:51,513
OK, done.
1026
01:16:51,607 --> 01:16:54,276
- Untie me.
- You're doing so good, babe.
1027
01:16:54,359 --> 01:16:56,399
1028
01:16:56,486 --> 01:16:58,562
Now what?
1029
01:17:02,409 --> 01:17:05,160
Hey, Rex. Rex, it's me. Rex!
1030
01:17:05,245 --> 01:17:10,203
- That surfer guy wants to come back inside.
- What? Will you tell that guy to piss off?
1031
01:17:11,334 --> 01:17:13,291
Guys! Guys!
1032
01:17:15,463 --> 01:17:18,879
- Hey, no dice, man. Get outta here.
- Oh, come on, Rex.
1033
01:17:18,966 --> 01:17:22,086
- I won't try anything.
- You shouldn't have escaped then.
1034
01:17:22,386 --> 01:17:25,091
Come on, bro. I was havin' a blast!
1035
01:17:25,181 --> 01:17:27,506
Come on, Rex. Rex!
1036
01:17:27,808 --> 01:17:30,216
I wanna get a drum set
that goes underwater...
1037
01:17:30,310 --> 01:17:34,011
...so in the middle of our show they can
dunk me in a tank and I can do my solo.
1038
01:17:34,106 --> 01:17:35,979
Cool!
1039
01:17:36,733 --> 01:17:39,734
I'm gonna get a leather jumpsuit
with the crotch cut out.
1040
01:17:39,820 --> 01:17:43,438
Rex, can you set up the sound system
so Jimmie Wing can hear the tape?
1041
01:17:43,532 --> 01:17:46,153
- I'm just... I gotta...
- Yeah, go ahead.
1042
01:17:48,995 --> 01:17:51,700
Hey, Rex, man. We're gonna go to jail, huh?
1043
01:17:53,875 --> 01:17:57,659
Small price to pay to be a legend.
Remember when Ozzy pissed on the Alamo...
1044
01:17:57,754 --> 01:18:00,327
...and was banned
from San Antonio for a decade?
1045
01:18:00,423 --> 01:18:03,542
Did his time, went back, rocked the place.
1046
01:18:03,634 --> 01:18:09,008
Section G, the force majeure, where it says
"riots, disturbance, war, acts of God", etc.
1047
01:18:09,098 --> 01:18:12,383
- What about it?
- Amend that to exclude this hostage crisis.
1048
01:18:12,476 --> 01:18:15,097
That can be construed as
an act of public enemy.
1049
01:18:15,187 --> 01:18:17,179
- Done.
- Where's the tape deck?
1050
01:18:17,272 --> 01:18:19,348
Oh, why? We need that, too?
1051
01:18:19,942 --> 01:18:21,685
- Let me see your arm.
- Why?
1052
01:18:21,777 --> 01:18:24,149
- Ow!
- Get it, retard.
1053
01:18:24,237 --> 01:18:26,526
1054
01:19:09,239 --> 01:19:12,275
- The board's fried. I can't fix it.
- Oh!
1055
01:19:12,367 --> 01:19:17,657
- No, Ian. Come on, man, you gotta help me.
- There's nothing more that I can do.
1056
01:19:19,582 --> 01:19:22,702
- This is it, babe.
- All set, Chazz.
1057
01:19:22,835 --> 01:19:26,085
- Here we go, my man.
- This is so exciting!
1058
01:19:26,172 --> 01:19:29,292
- Oh, my God. Here it is.
- All right.
1059
01:19:29,383 --> 01:19:31,376
- Record contract?
- Uh-huh.
1060
01:19:31,469 --> 01:19:33,591
We got a record contract!
1061
01:19:33,679 --> 01:19:38,424
Everything's square. Just autograph it on
the last page and you got yourself a deal.
1062
01:19:38,517 --> 01:19:41,222
Hah! We got a contract!
1063
01:19:42,563 --> 01:19:44,804
We got a contract!
1064
01:19:44,898 --> 01:19:46,974
We made it, babe. We made it.
1065
01:19:49,694 --> 01:19:52,316
- Stop!
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
1066
01:19:52,405 --> 01:19:54,647
Hey, bro, we got signed.
1067
01:19:54,741 --> 01:19:57,777
- Are you crapping me?
- Didn't you play the song for him?
1068
01:19:57,869 --> 01:20:00,027
No. We didn't hook this thing up yet.
1069
01:20:01,664 --> 01:20:05,448
- So you two haven't heard the demo?
- I heard it on the radio earlier.
1070
01:20:06,085 --> 01:20:09,501
You heard it for about five seconds
and then it got ate.
1071
01:20:09,589 --> 01:20:11,546
Well, Chazz, my man...
1072
01:20:11,632 --> 01:20:15,961
...it's not just the music, it's the way
you talk about it. You have such passion.
1073
01:20:16,053 --> 01:20:19,718
- Whoa, whoa. What am I hearing?
- What's wrong, man?
1074
01:20:22,101 --> 01:20:24,223
No deal. No.
1075
01:20:24,311 --> 01:20:26,387
What are you talking about?
1076
01:20:26,480 --> 01:20:29,849
No deal! Yesterday he kicks me
out of Palatine Records...
1077
01:20:29,941 --> 01:20:34,734
...and today he has a record contract for me to
sign. He hasn't even heard my tape. No deal!
1078
01:20:34,821 --> 01:20:39,150
- But this is what you wanted!
- Wanna know what I think of your contract?
1079
01:20:39,242 --> 01:20:41,318
Allow me to demonstrate.
1080
01:20:46,332 --> 01:20:49,167
He wipes his ass with his record contract.
1081
01:20:49,252 --> 01:20:52,667
- I love this guy.
- But we still have a deal, right?
1082
01:20:52,755 --> 01:20:55,756
I wanna be a rock star someday
but on my own terms.
1083
01:20:55,841 --> 01:20:59,709
Well, I got some news for you, big guy.
You already are a star.
1084
01:20:59,845 --> 01:21:02,881
You can't buy this kind of media exposure.
1085
01:21:03,349 --> 01:21:05,886
We are sitting on a gold mine here.
1086
01:21:06,060 --> 01:21:12,643
I am offering a long-term contract to get your
music out to millions, plus a whole lot more.
1087
01:21:12,774 --> 01:21:15,692
Like what "a whole lot more"?
1088
01:21:15,777 --> 01:21:20,854
Ever since you signed this contract you've
been under the umbrella of Palatine Records.
1089
01:21:20,949 --> 01:21:24,282
We have an army of attorneys
looking out for all our investments.
1090
01:21:24,369 --> 01:21:25,993
Chazz...
1091
01:21:26,204 --> 01:21:29,537
...rock stars don't go to jail. Christ.
1092
01:21:29,624 --> 01:21:32,790
Vince Neil only got 30 days
and he killed somebody.
1093
01:21:32,877 --> 01:21:35,747
Hey, buddy, you swear you can get us off?
1094
01:21:35,963 --> 01:21:40,091
I swear, if you guys play ball.
That's what I'm here for.
1095
01:21:40,342 --> 01:21:43,877
Chazz, let's just play the tape on air.
They'll throw deals at us.
1096
01:21:44,138 --> 01:21:47,838
- Can't do that, man. Console's busted.
-
1097
01:21:48,767 --> 01:21:50,843
It's this or nothing.
1098
01:21:56,525 --> 01:21:58,067
OK. Super-duper.
1099
01:21:58,151 --> 01:22:00,393
We're making records.
1100
01:22:01,488 --> 01:22:04,607
- What about the song? How we gonna play...
- Ah.
1101
01:22:04,699 --> 01:22:06,775
I'm already ahead of you.
1102
01:22:12,248 --> 01:22:15,249
Officer O'Malley. Jimmie Wing.
1103
01:22:15,334 --> 01:22:19,202
What are you doing sending me in
with these animals? They're out of control.
1104
01:22:19,297 --> 01:22:21,419
Yes. Yes.
1105
01:22:22,049 --> 01:22:24,125
They have some more demands.
1106
01:22:25,386 --> 01:22:28,090
1107
01:22:36,146 --> 01:22:40,607
We're gonna soon witness the culmination
of this extraordinary rock 'n' roll drama:
1108
01:22:40,692 --> 01:22:43,693
a live performance by The Lone Rangers.
1109
01:22:43,778 --> 01:22:47,610
Wait a minute. That can't be right.
You can't pluralize "Lone Ranger".
1110
01:22:47,741 --> 01:22:50,029
Get the guy who did the
Guns N' Roses video.
1111
01:22:50,118 --> 01:22:52,609
- Try for John Landis.
- Landis is huge.
1112
01:22:52,704 --> 01:22:53,949
This is great.
1113
01:22:54,289 --> 01:22:59,246
This is a major media event. We have lights,
crowds... We are gonna bury Lollapalooza!
1114
01:22:59,335 --> 01:23:03,961
- I said no!
- Look at the boots they gave me. Excuse me.
1115
01:23:04,048 --> 01:23:08,092
- How is this? I feel kinda goofy.
- You look like an idiot.
1116
01:23:23,734 --> 01:23:27,813
Remember, this only works if you still
have the hostages. OK, Kayla? Guns up.
1117
01:23:27,904 --> 01:23:29,778
Hey, what about me?
1118
01:23:30,907 --> 01:23:32,983
1119
01:23:37,247 --> 01:23:39,120
Oh, yeah!
1120
01:23:42,001 --> 01:23:44,290
I love you, Chazz!
1121
01:23:46,881 --> 01:23:48,505
1122
01:23:48,591 --> 01:23:51,757
This is a soggy dream come true!
1123
01:23:51,844 --> 01:23:53,718
This is rockin'. Yeah!
1124
01:23:56,181 --> 01:23:58,388
- All right!
- Whoo!
1125
01:23:58,475 --> 01:24:00,551
Let's give it to 'em.
1126
01:24:02,729 --> 01:24:04,805
Oh, yeah.
1127
01:24:07,651 --> 01:24:09,857
Hey, man.
1128
01:24:26,419 --> 01:24:29,455
- What?! It's not turned on.
- They ain't givin' us no juice.
1129
01:24:29,547 --> 01:24:34,671
The amps are props. We'll play your tape
through the PA system and you pantomime.
1130
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:38,010
- What, are you yankin' me?
- If you don't do it this way...
1131
01:24:38,097 --> 01:24:42,426
...we won't be able to sync it up in post.
OK, Rex, lift up the gun so they can see it.
1132
01:24:42,518 --> 01:24:47,144
- I ain't lip-syncing, man.
- It's a video. People always lip-sync.
1133
01:24:47,230 --> 01:24:51,726
- Oh, come on, this is bullshit.
- That's all we are to you, some freak show?
1134
01:24:51,818 --> 01:24:54,902
For all you care our album
could be Pip farting on a snare drum.
1135
01:24:54,988 --> 01:24:57,823
- Guys!
- I ain't fartin' on no snare drum.
1136
01:24:57,907 --> 01:25:01,359
If you guys don't do it,
we don't have a deal.
1137
01:25:01,452 --> 01:25:06,447
Me, and the lawyers from Palatine Records,
we walk. Now do you get that?
1138
01:25:06,582 --> 01:25:08,539
All right. Come here.
1139
01:25:08,835 --> 01:25:11,504
Come here. We can't do that.
Don't make us be lame.
1140
01:25:11,587 --> 01:25:13,663
OK. Roll tape.
1141
01:25:16,217 --> 01:25:20,000
Listen, dirthead,
shut your mouth and do what you're told.
1142
01:25:20,930 --> 01:25:23,302
1143
01:25:46,371 --> 01:25:49,075
What are you doing? We're filming.
1144
01:25:49,165 --> 01:25:50,873
Play, you little maggot.
1145
01:25:50,958 --> 01:25:54,292
Jimmie, get out of there.
You're ruining my shot.
1146
01:25:54,378 --> 01:25:58,210
Listen, I own you! I own you!
1147
01:25:58,299 --> 01:26:03,506
Oh, yeah! You can't see nothin'
from back there, you filthy scumbags!
1148
01:26:03,596 --> 01:26:05,921
Come on down!
1149
01:26:07,266 --> 01:26:09,092
Come on! Let's go!
1150
01:26:17,818 --> 01:26:19,893
Holy shit!
1151
01:26:19,986 --> 01:26:22,987
- Back it up!
- Just get outta the way. Let 'em go.
1152
01:26:37,628 --> 01:26:40,202
It's total anarchy!
1153
01:26:53,685 --> 01:26:56,639
- Whoo!
- Check it out, man. They dig our song.
1154
01:27:00,567 --> 01:27:02,974
All right! Rock 'n' roll!
1155
01:27:34,349 --> 01:27:37,054
♪ What's Johnny doin' out
on a Tuesday night?
1156
01:27:37,144 --> 01:27:39,635
♪ Johnny can't read, Johnny can't write
1157
01:27:40,772 --> 01:27:43,690
♪ Kids just don't understand
1158
01:27:44,818 --> 01:27:47,309
♪ Johnny don't care about the world
1159
01:27:47,404 --> 01:27:50,938
♪ As long as he can do his girl
1160
01:27:51,032 --> 01:27:54,282
♪ And prove that he's a man
1161
01:27:54,535 --> 01:27:56,861
♪ Degenerated
1162
01:27:57,038 --> 01:27:59,529
♪ Degenerated
1163
01:27:59,624 --> 01:28:02,079
♪ And our minds are
1164
01:28:02,168 --> 01:28:04,575
♪ Vegetated
1165
01:28:04,670 --> 01:28:06,829
♪ Degenerated
1166
01:28:07,214 --> 01:28:09,705
- ♪ Degenerated...
- Rex!
1167
01:28:11,093 --> 01:28:13,169
What are you doin', man?
1168
01:28:14,888 --> 01:28:17,344
♪ Degenerated
1169
01:28:17,516 --> 01:28:20,351
♪ Degenerated
1170
01:28:21,436 --> 01:28:25,386
We start touring in six months.
1171
01:28:25,482 --> 01:28:28,020
Well, three months
if they behave themselves.
1172
01:28:28,318 --> 01:28:30,809
♪ Degenerate, degenerate
1173
01:28:30,987 --> 01:28:33,478
♪ Degenerate, degenerate
1174
01:28:33,573 --> 01:28:35,197
Ow!
99422
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