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1
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Ok
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00:00:08,245 --> 00:00:10,464
What does this say to you?
3
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It says...
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00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:16,296
this is our busiest night at Fuddruckers;
I can't seat you without a reservation
5
00:00:18,348 --> 00:00:21,840
Come on! It's my first day
teaching that design seminar
6
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,643
You know, at The New School?
I wanna look nice
7
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So, do you think you're gonna
sleep with any of your students?
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00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:29,802
Will, it's interior design
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00:00:29,802 --> 00:00:32,607
The whole class is gonna be
nothing but women and gay guys
10
00:00:32,607 --> 00:00:34,724
So, you'll give it your best shot
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00:00:37,278 --> 00:00:39,175
Good morning, Will
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00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,621
My word, you're stunning
13
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That was you taking my breath away
14
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Then how come I can tell you
had tuna for breakfast?
15
00:00:53,058 --> 00:00:56,037
Looks like somebody's sense of
humor's had a tune-up
16
00:00:58,047 --> 00:01:00,362
Um, I'm here to help you
17
00:01:00,362 --> 00:01:02,933
help me help you help me
18
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Help you help me help you
19
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Ok, ok, ok, stop it...
20
00:01:06,071 --> 00:01:07,910
before I help you help me hurt you
21
00:01:09,081 --> 00:01:11,389
Ok, here's the scoop, Jackson
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Elliot's got a basketball tournament
in Connecticut this weekend
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All the dads are going, but
my boss Dorleen the Whore-leen
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is making me do inventory
25
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So, will you take him? Please?
I'll be up on Saturday
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Please just say yes, I promise
I won't ask for anything else again!
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- Ok
- Damn you, Will!
28
00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:31,908
Damn your shiny, pointy face
and your sarcastic quips!
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Hey, lord of the ring dings
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I said I'd do it
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Oh. Sorry
I wasn't listening
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It will be fun
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Elliot and I never get to
spend any time together
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Nice to have the opportunity to get to know
him a little before your genetics take over
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and he turns into
a screeching howler monkey
36
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You know what?!
37
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,886
Hi, honey
Sorry, I'm late
38
00:02:39,886 --> 00:02:41,619
Where should I take my clothes off?
39
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:46,479
Karen, you can't take your clothes off
This is a classroom, not a park
40
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Honey, don't you remember?
41
00:02:51,409 --> 00:02:54,176
You asked me to be your T and A
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T. A.
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00:03:01,997 --> 00:03:05,075
Teacher's...Assistant
44
00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:07,201
Oh!
45
00:03:07,201 --> 00:03:09,187
Well, that makes more sense
46
00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:11,656
So, where should I take my clothes off?
47
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:14,342
- Hello?
- Hi! Hi!
48
00:03:14,342 --> 00:03:16,158
Come on in!
Welcome
49
00:03:16,684 --> 00:03:17,698
Oh, Lord
50
00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:20,997
There's a lot of
gay guy-straight girl couples
51
00:03:20,997 --> 00:03:23,664
It's like a hologram of
your past relationships
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That's nice
53
00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:27,088
Hello, everyone
54
00:03:27,953 --> 00:03:31,913
I'm Professor Ms. Grace Adler
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And I would like to
welcome you to Introduction
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00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:39,037
to Interior Design
by Professor Ms. Grace Adler
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00:03:39,851 --> 00:03:46,611
Over the next 3 days, you will hear about
a fast-paced world of upscale clients
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00:03:46,611 --> 00:03:50,332
magazine covers
and 6-figure commissions
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00:03:50,332 --> 00:03:55,038
But first, in order to truly understand
contemporary interior design
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00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:56,828
one must go back a bit
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00:03:56,828 --> 00:03:59,524
Back to 3,000 B.C��
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00:04:06,177 --> 00:04:09,741
Will, thanks a lot for doing this
I know this isn't exactly your thing
63
00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:12,600
Hey, it's not like
I'm new to the world of sports
64
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,534
You know what?
When I was 11
65
00:04:13,534 --> 00:04:15,581
I begged my dad
to buy me this pastry bag
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00:04:15,581 --> 00:04:16,904
with an assortment of rosette tips
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00:04:16,904 --> 00:04:19,755
so I could bake a poodle cake for
my friend Jenny's confirmation
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00:04:20,373 --> 00:04:21,815
And he, uh...
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00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:24,264
he sent me to a sports camp
to butch me up
70
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,566
Let me tell you something
my baseball diamond cakes?
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00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:27,663
Very big hit
72
00:04:28,913 --> 00:04:31,589
Huh. Oh, yeah.Yeah, I hear that's
how Derek Jeter got started
73
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,081
I'll go sign us in
74
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,557
Hey. I'm, uh, Ken
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00:04:37,557 --> 00:04:39,749
Uh, Scott's father
You must be Elliot's dad
76
00:04:39,749 --> 00:04:41,918
Actually, no, I'm his dad's best friend
I'm Will Truman
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00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:42,912
- Oh, hi
- Hi
78
00:04:42,912 --> 00:04:44,878
- Got any kids of your own, Will?
- Not yet
79
00:04:44,878 --> 00:04:46,821
That's probably
why you look so rested
80
00:04:47,717 --> 00:04:52,431
No, that's just a good moisturizing
routine and a nighttime gel mask
81
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,347
What are you, gay, Will?
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00:04:58,412 --> 00:04:59,396
Yep.
83
00:04:59,987 --> 00:05:01,756
Member since 1985
84
00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:06,047
Yeah, if I hang on for one more year
I get triple miles
85
00:05:06,838 --> 00:05:07,846
Wow
86
00:05:07,846 --> 00:05:09,335
I've never met a gay guy before
87
00:05:09,546 --> 00:05:10,401
- Really?
- Yeah
88
00:05:10,401 --> 00:05:13,878
Well, statistically, if you haven't
met one then you must be one
89
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,227
I'll see you around
90
00:05:21,862 --> 00:05:22,924
Hey, Elliot
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00:05:23,904 --> 00:05:25,020
Oh, hey, Nancy
92
00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:26,524
How was practice?
93
00:05:26,931 --> 00:05:27,620
Good
94
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,925
Lindsay threw up bacon on the foul line
and then her mom yelled at her
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00:05:30,925 --> 00:05:32,155
because they're kosher
96
00:05:34,382 --> 00:05:35,152
Cool
97
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:39,471
Um, well, I gotta
go to the girls' room
98
00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:44,737
- Is that your girlfriend?
- Shut up
99
00:05:46,207 --> 00:05:48,288
Sorry, it just looked like
she was into you
100
00:05:48,288 --> 00:05:49,523
Yeah, whatever
101
00:05:50,104 --> 00:05:52,152
- Really?
- Oh, yeah
102
00:05:52,473 --> 00:05:55,995
I had girls throw me that look
a few times when I was your age
103
00:05:56,321 --> 00:05:58,413
What, when you were
making those cakes?
104
00:06:02,352 --> 00:06:05,054
Look, I may not have won
any basketball games
105
00:06:05,054 --> 00:06:08,712
but when there was an art fair
my hand-painted linens kicked ass!
106
00:06:16,366 --> 00:06:22,079
Note the use of interior space
in this limestone mastaba
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00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,090
located in a tomb near Giza
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00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:31,070
and built during
the reign of Ramses II
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00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:33,764
That's right, boys and girls
he was not just a condom
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00:06:33,764 --> 00:06:35,096
he was a pharaoh
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00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:38,650
Excuse me
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00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:40,696
Oh! A question
Excellent
113
00:06:40,696 --> 00:06:43,115
I saw P. Diddy's house on "MTV Cribs"
114
00:06:43,115 --> 00:06:44,408
Do you know who did that?
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00:06:44,873 --> 00:06:48,839
Um, I heard that Michael Jackson has
a sleigh bed made entirely out of bones
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00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:49,814
Is that true?
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00:06:51,965 --> 00:06:53,732
Ok, whoa, girls. Slow down
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00:06:53,732 --> 00:06:55,738
We're not even at the Trojan War yet
119
00:06:56,465 --> 00:06:59,126
And again, not just a condom, a war
120
00:07:03,654 --> 00:07:05,645
Mastaba
121
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,402
All right
122
00:07:09,756 --> 00:07:12,331
Why don't we take a 5-minute break
123
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,249
so you can stretch
your legs, get some coffee
124
00:07:14,249 --> 00:07:15,656
guess how old
your teacher is
125
00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:16,177
26
126
00:07:17,981 --> 00:07:18,651
Liar
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00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,919
When we return
we will talk a little bit
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00:07:25,919 --> 00:07:29,794
about interior design
after the birth of Jesus
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00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:31,769
Let's not forget
Jesus was a carpenter
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00:07:31,769 --> 00:07:35,158
a carpenter who probably
answered to an interior designer
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00:07:35,158 --> 00:07:36,941
Something to think
about on your break!
132
00:07:43,704 --> 00:07:46,217
Is three hours too long
for a 5-minute break?
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00:07:50,075 --> 00:07:52,030
Ba ba bop-up
ba ba ba ba bop-up
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00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:56,242
bup bup bup bup
ba ba bop-up ba ba ba...
135
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,300
There he is
Hey, Will
136
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,584
Hey! Hey
137
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,452
- It's, um, Ken, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah
138
00:08:01,452 --> 00:08:03,764
Uh, this is Will
Uh, the guy I was telling you about
139
00:08:03,764 --> 00:08:05,573
Oh, so you're the gay guy
140
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:06,715
Yeah
141
00:08:08,365 --> 00:08:10,653
Why, are you the torch-wielding villagers?
142
00:08:12,815 --> 00:08:13,510
- Go ahead
- No
143
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:14,861
Go ahead, go ahead
144
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:17,095
- Alan wants to ask you something
- No, I don't wanna ask him
145
00:08:17,095 --> 00:08:18,077
- You ask him
- Oh, come on
146
00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:20,562
don't be a f--
Just go
147
00:08:22,498 --> 00:08:23,790
Well, you know
I--I was thinking
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00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:25,685
you know, I--
I always imagine that
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00:08:25,685 --> 00:08:27,971
since you're all guys
and everything and--
150
00:08:27,971 --> 00:08:30,084
and there's no one
there to say no
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00:08:30,616 --> 00:08:35,174
that, uh... you must be, like
doing it constantly, right?
152
00:08:36,365 --> 00:08:41,326
Oh... well, actually, I probably have
sex no more than you guys
153
00:08:41,326 --> 00:08:43,388
- Oh, I thought there'd be more
- Why be gay?
154
00:08:43,908 --> 00:08:46,125
- That��s disappointing
- Oh, you know, you're thinking
155
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,651
I thought with the dancing and
everything... / And the music...
156
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:51,742
Hey, Will, can I talk to you?
157
00:08:51,742 --> 00:08:53,278
Sure, buddy
What's up?
158
00:08:53,278 --> 00:08:55,391
Um, well, Nancy
and I were talking
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00:08:55,391 --> 00:08:57,590
and I was telling her
about my band
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00:08:57,590 --> 00:08:59,797
and then all of a sudden
she stopped talking
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00:08:59,797 --> 00:09:02,755
And I thought that she thought
I was a dork, because, you know
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00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:04,096
I don't have a band?
163
00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,725
And then, before I knew it
we just--
164
00:09:06,725 --> 00:09:08,769
we just sorta...
kissed
165
00:09:08,769 --> 00:09:11,824
Elliot, your first kiss!
This is a big deal!
166
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,672
Dude!
Chill out!
167
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:18,081
Yeah, it's just, I--I don't know
what this means, you know?
168
00:09:18,081 --> 00:09:20,844
I-i-is Nancy my girlfriend?
Do I-- Do I have to start, like
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00:09:20,844 --> 00:09:24,025
paying for her food and
telling her she's pretty all the time?
170
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:29,570
If that makes her your girlfriend
Jack and I should be engaged by now
171
00:09:31,497 --> 00:09:34,178
Yeah, but, you know, I don't--
I don't wanna mess this up
172
00:09:34,178 --> 00:09:35,583
What if she stops liking me?
173
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,175
Look, if Nancy's anything like me
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00:09:38,401 --> 00:09:40,715
and most little Nancys are...
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00:09:44,763 --> 00:09:47,270
she's just as nervous as you are
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00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:48,911
So, take your time
You'll be fine
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00:09:49,204 --> 00:09:51,137
- Really?
- Yeah
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00:09:51,964 --> 00:09:52,930
Thanks, Will
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00:09:53,161 --> 00:09:54,144
You know what, I--I guess
180
00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:56,999
I'm also kind of nervous
about the big game tomorrow
181
00:09:56,999 --> 00:09:58,632
Oh, yeah
Well...
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00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,956
you could--you could
do what I do but...
183
00:10:00,956 --> 00:10:03,733
I don't know where we're gonna find
cake flour and shortening around here
184
00:10:11,164 --> 00:10:13,200
Hi
Jack McFarland
185
00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:16,979
I believe my reservation's
under Vin Diesel
186
00:10:18,726 --> 00:10:25,409
And if I'm not under Vin Diesel
any cute guy will do
187
00:10:26,954 --> 00:10:27,770
Hey
188
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:29,524
I wasn't expecting you until tonight
189
00:10:29,524 --> 00:10:33,230
Well, we were doing inventory
and Dorleen let me off early because
190
00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:36,737
she said I have the attention span of a--
that is a fantastic blue!
191
00:10:37,996 --> 00:10:39,812
We are sharing that!
Come on, take it off
192
00:10:39,812 --> 00:10:40,805
- I'm not taking it off
- Oh, just for a second
193
00:10:40,805 --> 00:10:42,171
- I'm not taking it off!
- It's gonna be mine anyway!
194
00:10:42,171 --> 00:10:44,205
Just take it off!
Mine!
195
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:45,514
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
196
00:10:46,327 --> 00:10:47,732
Will, is everything all right here?
197
00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:50,014
Is this guy giving you trouble
because you're gay?
198
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,098
You'd better learn
a little tolerance, buddy!
199
00:10:56,098 --> 00:10:58,246
Ow!
He tapped me pointedly
200
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,244
It's ok, guys
This is a friend of mine
201
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:04,124
Oh
Ohh!
202
00:11:06,912 --> 00:11:08,085
He's the wife
203
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:12,248
We'll leave you two alone
204
00:11:13,932 --> 00:11:15,854
You got yourself a real looker there
205
00:11:21,242 --> 00:11:22,698
- What was that about?
- I don't know
206
00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:24,657
I think I'm their gay mascot
207
00:11:26,155 --> 00:11:28,060
Hey, listen, so...
208
00:11:28,309 --> 00:11:30,063
Elliot had his first kiss!
209
00:11:30,441 --> 00:11:32,034
- He what?!
- Yeah
210
00:11:32,034 --> 00:11:33,653
You know, he was
a little worried about it
211
00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:35,133
but it's ok
I talked him through
212
00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:36,061
and he's fine
213
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:37,345
You what?
214
00:11:38,509 --> 00:11:39,994
I helped him
I gave him advice
215
00:11:39,994 --> 00:11:41,645
and I was pretty good
216
00:11:42,039 --> 00:11:43,384
Advice!
217
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,121
You d--
218
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,339
Oh! Oh-h-h-h-h-h
219
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,052
No!
220
00:11:49,105 --> 00:11:51,855
You do not give him advice
That is my job, I'm the father!
221
00:11:51,855 --> 00:11:53,216
- What were you thinking?
- Jack!
222
00:11:53,216 --> 00:11:54,363
Don't Jack me!
223
00:11:56,974 --> 00:11:58,722
You've crossed the line here, Will
224
00:11:58,722 --> 00:11:59,962
I'm done with you
225
00:11:59,962 --> 00:12:01,320
You hear me?
Done!
226
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:10,673
A little help here?
I'm trying to storm off
227
00:12:11,228 --> 00:12:12,986
Get the hatbox!
Let's go!
228
00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:25,798
Hi, what's going on?
What's happening?
229
00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:27,136
What's the emergency?
230
00:12:27,857 --> 00:12:28,954
I think I'm in trouble
231
00:12:29,552 --> 00:12:31,278
Well, you came to the right place
Here's what we're gonna do
232
00:12:31,278 --> 00:12:33,020
We're gonna change your name
get you a new face, and
233
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,938
ship you out of the country
Here's your passport
234
00:12:37,802 --> 00:12:39,476
"Rosario Salazar."
235
00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:42,296
This is your maid's
236
00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:43,792
She don't need it
237
00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:45,268
She ain't going anywhere
238
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:48,150
Ok, ok, ok
239
00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,058
Look, Karen
240
00:12:49,058 --> 00:12:52,728
I--I--I ran into some ex-students
at the coffee shop
241
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:55,462
and the only way that I could
lure them back to class
242
00:12:55,462 --> 00:12:59,042
was to promise them
a tour of a celebrity apartment
243
00:12:59,042 --> 00:13:00,456
Oh��/ Mm-hmm...
244
00:13:00,456 --> 00:13:03,237
So, I need you to hook me up
245
00:13:03,237 --> 00:13:05,691
with one of your famous friends
246
00:13:06,272 --> 00:13:08,318
Sweet Grace!
247
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:11,325
Now, I'm gonna tell
you something
248
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:12,527
and I don't want you
to take it the wrong way
249
00:13:12,527 --> 00:13:14,187
'cause you know I love you, yeah!
250
00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:16,752
But, um...
the reason that they're my friends is
251
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:19,198
because I don't introduce them
to people like you
252
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,368
Ok, I gotta go
253
00:13:23,164 --> 00:13:24,104
You're not going anywhere
254
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,563
Wh--!
Oh! B--!
255
00:13:27,863 --> 00:13:28,908
Look, you
256
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:33,199
you are the worst
assistant on the planet
257
00:13:33,493 --> 00:13:37,786
There are chimp assistants
in the Congo who are better than you
258
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:42,573
Because of you, my phones don't get
answered my faxes don't get faxed
259
00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:46,052
I'm constantly
getting mail for Grane Adloaf
260
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,859
but I put up with it
and you know why?
261
00:13:51,167 --> 00:13:52,479
Because I'm pretty?
262
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,908
No, because you're connected
263
00:13:56,908 --> 00:13:58,179
You know everyone
264
00:13:58,179 --> 00:14:02,036
That is all you do, and you are
going to do that for me now
265
00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:04,002
I'm calling in my chit
266
00:14:04,002 --> 00:14:05,373
Grace!
Language!
267
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,510
Honey, I'm not liking this visit
268
00:14:14,728 --> 00:14:16,080
Honey, look, a cupcake!
269
00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:25,470
I could do this forever, Karen
270
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:26,552
Just think about it
271
00:14:26,858 --> 00:14:30,706
You could be stuck
in this apartment for years
272
00:14:30,706 --> 00:14:33,759
But I--I can't think of anyone!
273
00:14:33,992 --> 00:14:37,594
Have I ever shown you the view of
New Jersey from my bedroom window?
274
00:14:37,594 --> 00:14:40,319
Oh, Katie Couric!
I'll get you Katie Couric!
275
00:14:41,058 --> 00:14:42,422
Hmm
Katie
276
00:14:42,809 --> 00:14:43,793
Not bad
277
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:46,558
Everyone's seen
the interior of her colon
278
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:49,052
but no one's seen
the interior of her apartment
279
00:14:54,917 --> 00:14:56,377
Excuse me
is this seat taken?
280
00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,227
Uh, does it look like
it's being taken?
281
00:14:58,227 --> 00:14:59,244
- No
- Well, it is
282
00:14:59,244 --> 00:15:00,693
By my righteous anger
283
00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:05,027
- Whoo
- Ooh
284
00:15:06,412 --> 00:15:07,722
- Jack--
- Go away!
285
00:15:08,317 --> 00:15:10,520
You can't still be angry at this
286
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,296
Look, I got you a big foam finger
287
00:15:12,903 --> 00:15:14,910
Now all you need
is a big foam prostate
288
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,473
Leave me alone!
289
00:15:20,411 --> 00:15:21,721
Moment stealer!
290
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,466
That's your new Indian name
Moment stealer. Live with it!
291
00:15:26,539 --> 00:15:27,403
- Go team
- Whoo
292
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:30,647
Come on, he's a kid
293
00:15:30,647 --> 00:15:32,847
You'll have other moments
You'll have hundreds of moments
294
00:15:32,847 --> 00:15:35,470
His first hickey
his first fender-bender
295
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:37,473
and, if he truly is your kid
his first restraining order
296
00:15:37,473 --> 00:15:39,529
from Britney Spears
297
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:42,435
Don't give me that
I'm mad at you
298
00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:44,847
You have robbed me
and I'll never get it back
299
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,441
Thank you!
300
00:15:48,746 --> 00:15:50,305
While you two were
running your mouths
301
00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:53,081
your kid blew an easy lay-up
with no time left
302
00:15:53,081 --> 00:15:54,466
Talk English, man!
303
00:15:56,761 --> 00:15:59,048
He lost the game
304
00:15:59,822 --> 00:16:02,055
- I think your kid lost the game!
- No, he didn't
305
00:16:02,055 --> 00:16:03,613
- You wanna take this outside?!
- Yeah!
306
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:04,883
Then go outside!
307
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,277
And could you throw this away for me?
Thank you
308
00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:08,881
I promise I'll be out
I promise I'm going
309
00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:11,203
I'll meet you out there
Be right there
310
00:16:15,102 --> 00:16:17,530
Poor Elliot
He looks kind of miserable
311
00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:19,525
Yeah
Poor kid
312
00:16:19,525 --> 00:16:20,703
I gotta split
313
00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:22,530
Hey, wait!
What are you talking about?
314
00:16:22,756 --> 00:16:25,022
Isn't this what you wanted?
A moment?
315
00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:26,387
Well, I wanted a good moment
not this one
316
00:16:26,387 --> 00:16:27,836
This one sucks
You take it
317
00:16:28,849 --> 00:16:29,425
Jack!
318
00:16:29,719 --> 00:16:31,806
Come on!
I don't know anything about this!
319
00:16:31,806 --> 00:16:37,911
About basketball, about scorn from
a crowd full of men with farmer tans
320
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,299
Well, maybe not, but Elliot is feeling
like a failure right now
321
00:16:41,299 --> 00:16:44,201
and you know more about
failure than any man I know
322
00:16:47,979 --> 00:16:49,412
You're just saying that
323
00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:51,936
No, I mean it, Jack
324
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,916
You're a huge failure
325
00:16:56,103 --> 00:16:57,819
But you're also his father
326
00:16:57,819 --> 00:17:00,460
and you love him
and right now that's what he needs
327
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:02,445
Maybe you're right
328
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,429
You know what else?
329
00:17:05,755 --> 00:17:07,405
I'm a little jealous of that
330
00:17:08,558 --> 00:17:10,168
Wow, Will
331
00:17:10,168 --> 00:17:12,897
Thank you for admitting
you're jealous of me
332
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:16,386
It must be quite a load off
to finally say it out loud
333
00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:25,208
Ok. I just want you to know
how gratifying it is
334
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,861
that you all came back
335
00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:30,401
Well, we kind of just wanted to
go to the famous person's house
336
00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:35,063
How 'bout just giving me that one, huh?
How 'bout it, jerky?
337
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:39,174
A bah da, bee ba tah��
338
00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:41,312
Hey
Ok, Karen, uh...
339
00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:44,220
the van's out front, so, uh...
340
00:17:44,220 --> 00:17:46,163
do you want us to follow you or...?
341
00:17:47,429 --> 00:17:49,019
Sure, honey, where are we going?
342
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:52,166
Katie Couric's house
343
00:17:53,248 --> 00:17:54,489
What are you saying?
344
00:17:56,235 --> 00:17:58,468
To Katie Couric's house
345
00:17:59,591 --> 00:18:00,661
I don't understand
346
00:18:03,422 --> 00:18:04,916
- To Katie Couric's
- Katie who?
347
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:05,751
- Katie Couric
- Katie who?
348
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,435
- Katie Couric!
- Oh!
349
00:18:07,851 --> 00:18:10,360
- We're going to Katie Couric's house?
- Oh, my god! I love her!
350
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,888
Yes, yes!
351
00:18:12,888 --> 00:18:15,157
I mean, I wanted to
keep it a surprise
352
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:18,453
but that's exactly where we're going
You're getting what you want
353
00:18:18,453 --> 00:18:19,402
so, let's go!
354
00:18:19,972 --> 00:18:20,376
Ha ha ha!
355
00:18:20,376 --> 00:18:21,709
Honey, honey...
356
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:24,773
Um, I don't know Katie Couric
Hee hee hee!
357
00:18:26,383 --> 00:18:29,531
- What? What? What?
- Nope, nope
358
00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:32,521
I don't believe you!
359
00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,599
How could you lie
about something like that?
360
00:18:34,599 --> 00:18:37,300
Honey, I had to get out of that apartment!
You had murder in your eyes
361
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:38,639
and spinach in your teeth!
362
00:18:39,882 --> 00:18:42,377
Besides, you're the one
who lied about
363
00:18:42,377 --> 00:18:44,744
taking the students
to a celebrity apartment
364
00:18:44,744 --> 00:18:46,334
Wait, you lied to us?
365
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:47,564
There's no Katie?
366
00:18:47,852 --> 00:18:49,307
- I'm outta here
- Me, too!
367
00:18:49,307 --> 00:18:51,840
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Don't leave, ok?
368
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,672
All right, look, look, look
Just give me another chance
369
00:18:53,672 --> 00:18:56,725
and I promise you will
leave here inspired
370
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:01,555
And I'll buy some beer and my
assistant will take her clothes off
371
00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:02,834
Finally!
372
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:06,207
So what do you say?
373
00:19:07,245 --> 00:19:08,806
Who wants to stay and...
374
00:19:09,277 --> 00:19:10,758
learn some stuff?
375
00:19:18,176 --> 00:19:19,618
Well, how about that?
376
00:19:21,491 --> 00:19:23,938
I'm the worst thing
to happen to interior design
377
00:19:23,938 --> 00:19:27,196
since basketball players started
making millions of dollars
378
00:19:30,338 --> 00:19:33,758
Well, honey
what do you expect?
379
00:19:34,021 --> 00:19:37,527
Hey, it took me
two years to fully realize
380
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:39,808
how wonderful you are
381
00:19:39,808 --> 00:19:42,731
How long you think it's gonna
take a bunch of shallow
382
00:19:42,731 --> 00:19:46,919
self-involved kids all hopped up
on booze and goofballs?
383
00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:52,109
My guess, two years
384
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:56,702
- There he is
- Oh, hey, hey, Will
385
00:19:56,702 --> 00:19:59,066
- can we ask you something?
- Ok, guys, guys, enough
386
00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:00,627
Ok? It's very flattering
387
00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:02,826
but I'm beginning to feel like
a circus freak here
388
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,838
You know, we're--
we're all the same
389
00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:08,198
We're just men
I'm a regular guy, just like you
390
00:20:08,198 --> 00:20:10,875
We were just going to ask
if you wanted to grab a pizza with us
391
00:20:11,161 --> 00:20:13,939
Oh. Oh, I can't eat that
I'm off carbs this month
392
00:20:13,939 --> 00:20:15,720
but there's a sweet
little bistro downtown
393
00:20:16,791 --> 00:20:17,542
- Yeah
- Yeah, come on
394
00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:19,971
Let's take a cab, though
It's raining and I'm wearing suede shoes
395
00:20:19,971 --> 00:20:20,889
They're nice
396
00:20:22,292 --> 00:20:24,516
So, see, if happens to everyone
397
00:20:24,846 --> 00:20:26,816
- Really?
- Yeah, I promise
398
00:20:26,816 --> 00:20:28,202
Oh, wait
I got another one
399
00:20:28,983 --> 00:20:32,092
So this one time
I was doing my big finale
400
00:20:32,092 --> 00:20:33,588
Send in the Clowns
401
00:20:34,812 --> 00:20:38,205
I went out on that big stage
and I got so nervous
402
00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,973
I threw up twice
403
00:20:40,583 --> 00:20:41,999
But the next night
404
00:20:41,999 --> 00:20:45,757
I went back out on that stage
I summoned up my courage
405
00:20:45,757 --> 00:20:47,642
and I only threw up a little
406
00:20:50,686 --> 00:20:51,841
In my mouth
407
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:57,919
Cool
30047
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