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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 [♪ gentle music playing] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:17,583 -[sign clicks] -[people chattering] 5 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:24,167 [heartbeat thumping] 6 00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:25,333 [light clacks] 7 00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:32,292 [young Hannah] I can't believe we get to finally see a real prom. 8 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:33,708 You ready? 9 00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:36,000 [♪ mystical music plays] 10 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,958 [young Hannah] Holy shit. 11 00:00:38,292 --> 00:00:40,958 [young Jess] Let's promise each other prom will be our night. 12 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,167 You'll be there with the love of your life, 13 00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,375 and the most popular girl in school, the prom queen, 14 00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:46,625 that'll be me, 15 00:00:46,708 --> 00:00:47,917 no matter what it takes. 16 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:51,792 [♪ upbeat music playing] 17 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,125 [exhales] Prom pact. 18 00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,208 -[young Hannah] Prom pact. -[loud slice] 19 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,458 -Oh. Oh! -Oh, my God. 20 00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:01,292 -What do I do?! -Uh, just calm down. 21 00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:04,083 -It's gonna be fine. - I don't know how to calm down! 22 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,667 -[young Jess] It's okay! You're okay! -[young Hannah] I'm okay. 23 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:07,917 -I'm okay! -[people screaming] 24 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000 [panting] I'm okay. 25 00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:10,292 [screams] 26 00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:12,500 [♪ "Downtown" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis playing] 27 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,667 ♪ Tip-toeing in the street like ballet ♪ 28 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,875 ♪ Pulled up, moped to the valet ♪ 29 00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,042 ♪ Whitewalls on the wheels like mayonnaise ♪ 30 00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:21,083 ♪ Dope, my crew is ill ♪ 31 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,125 ♪ And all we need is two good wheels ♪ 32 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,333 ♪ Got gas in the tank, cash in the bank ♪ 33 00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:27,458 ♪ And a bad little mama with her ass in my face ♪ 34 00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:28,542 ♪ I'ma dope! ♪ 35 00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,208 [Jess] I can't believe the dress that I ordered 36 00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:31,333 four months ago never came. 37 00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:34,042 [Hannah] Do you think it's 'cause we made your delivery name Dick Shartioli? 38 00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:37,792 [Jess] Maybe, but that was the only dress Luca thinks I look like a prom queen in. 39 00:01:37,875 --> 00:01:39,125 Okay, are you ready? 40 00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:40,250 [Hannah] I mean, I guess. 41 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,583 Oh! [laughs] 42 00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,250 -Holy shit! -[Jess laughs] 43 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,583 Oh, Jess, you literally look like a penis. 44 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,042 -[Jess] Well, you look like a period. -You're welcome. 45 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,000 Why do they even make dresses like this? 46 00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,625 It's not like anyone looks good in them. 47 00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:52,792 [curtain rattles] 48 00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:56,542 [♪ mellow pop music plays in store] 49 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,333 That's fucked up. 50 00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:00,625 [door bell chiming] 51 00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,917 So do you wanna do sushi or pizza...? 52 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,667 Oh, I forgot to tell you, Luca actually invited me to lunch. 53 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,292 -[Hannah groans] -We can drop you off though. 54 00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,500 I would rather get in a Lyft with Thelma and Louise. 55 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:11,625 Don't be an asshole. 56 00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:15,000 [♪ dreamy music playing] 57 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:16,792 ♪ Oooooh, Luca ♪ 58 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,000 [♪ dreamy music distorts] 59 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,167 Hey, Hanky. 60 00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:22,583 I'd offer you a lift, but the Beemer's built for speed, not comfort. 61 00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:23,833 Doubt you'd fit. 62 00:02:23,917 --> 00:02:26,333 -[trunk door thuds] -Save me a seat at assembly. 63 00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:28,042 See ya! 64 00:02:28,125 --> 00:02:29,458 [tires squeal] 65 00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:31,583 Yeah. Hope his dick falls off! 66 00:02:32,292 --> 00:02:33,875 -[horn blares] -[pedestrian] Fuck you, asshole! 67 00:02:33,958 --> 00:02:37,000 -[tires screeching] -[engine revving] 68 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,667 [♪ techno music plays on speakers] 69 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:45,250 -[switch clicks] -[car roof whirring] 70 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,333 [car roof thuds] 71 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,750 [windows whirring] 72 00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:52,167 [clicks stereo] 73 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,000 [♪ sensual music playing on car stereo] 74 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,708 Just wanted to maximize 75 00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,917 our alone time together. 76 00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:00,917 Oh. 77 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,250 -[switch clicks] -[chair whirring] 78 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,000 [Jess] [chuckles] Okay. 79 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,792 -[chair whirring] -I, um... 80 00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:08,375 [Luca moans] 81 00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:09,708 [Jess] I-- Oh, oh. 82 00:03:09,792 --> 00:03:10,875 -[chair whirring] -[moaning] 83 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,042 -Oh, okay. [laughs] -Okay. 84 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,250 Um, I just-- [laughs] 85 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,500 [♪ sensual music continues] 86 00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:18,542 -What are you doing? -I just don't want our first time 87 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:20,125 to be at 11:00 a.m. 88 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:21,875 in a parking lot. 89 00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:23,833 [bicycle bell rings] 90 00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,125 Just wait till tomorrow night. 91 00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,792 We'll have a whole hotel room to ourselves after prom. 92 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,000 -It'll be worth the wait. -I'm not trying 93 00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:32,208 to force myself onto you or whatever. 94 00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,583 -Mm! -I just... 95 00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:35,750 I want to be close to you. 96 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,417 I want to be close to you, too. 97 00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,125 -So? -No, I'm sorry. 98 00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:41,500 [Luca sighs] 99 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,958 So what do you want to do for lunch? 100 00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:49,542 Eh, I gotta go pick up the keg for the pre-prom, so... 101 00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:51,917 Well, you wanna hang out tonight instead? 102 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,125 Can't, FFF. Friday family fondue. 103 00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,167 Right. 104 00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:01,042 Well, if you change your mind, I'd love to finally meet your parents. 105 00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,167 Hmm. 106 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:04,958 I can take you back to school if you want. 107 00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:07,958 [sighs] Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks. 108 00:04:08,042 --> 00:04:09,042 Alright. 109 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:12,208 [students chattering] 110 00:04:15,917 --> 00:04:18,875 [keypad clacking] 111 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,708 [door opens] 112 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,208 [♪ chill music playing] 113 00:04:30,292 --> 00:04:33,333 ♪ Same place, different love ♪ 114 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:36,833 ♪ Only call you up when I'm feeling low ♪ 115 00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:40,500 ♪ Champagne feels better than the real thing ♪ 116 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,042 ♪ Gimme the cash, gimme the bag, gimme the loot ♪ 117 00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:49,708 ♪ I want it all, gimme the love, gimme your heart too ♪ 118 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,583 ♪ No one to blame, catching the flame, just me and you ♪ 119 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,292 -Hey. -[Hannah gulps] 120 00:04:54,375 --> 00:04:56,417 [coughing] 121 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,333 Um, I just wanted to say thanks for sending me the trig homework. 122 00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,083 Kinda just needed to hand something in. 123 00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,833 Didn't get a chance to finish it because of my gig. 124 00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:05,667 -[Hannah coughing] -Jesus, are you okay? 125 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,417 [strained voice] Just choking. 126 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,375 [coughing] 127 00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:10,625 [farts, gasps] 128 00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:12,708 -Did you just fart? -Nope. 129 00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:14,083 [sniffs] Thought I heard a fart. 130 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,958 You didn't. [coughs, gasps] 131 00:05:16,042 --> 00:05:19,542 Okay, uh, well, I'll catch you later. 132 00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,458 [spits] 133 00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:27,708 [indistinct chatter] 134 00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,625 -[Jess] Yo. -[gasps] Yo! 135 00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:31,875 There you are. 136 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,333 [Hannah coughs] 137 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:35,958 What'd Angie want? 138 00:05:36,042 --> 00:05:38,333 Uh, just... [clears throat] just talking about trig homework. 139 00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:39,917 [Hannah clearing throat] 140 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,125 Gross. 141 00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:45,208 Oh fuck! That sucks for her. 142 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,167 -[clears throat] -Where's Greg? 143 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,792 I don't know, he said he had some, like, 144 00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:49,958 student council thing. 145 00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,667 Alright. Come on, folks, let's settle down. 146 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:55,083 Alright, seniors. I know that some of you are planning to take things 147 00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,708 to the next level tomorrow night, sexually. 148 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,708 -That's a word that we can use here. -[crowd cheering] 149 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,583 We're all adults, or almost. 150 00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:05,250 And so I've prepared a little demo to have you watch 151 00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:07,167 before you do something on your prom night 152 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,625 that you can't take back. 153 00:06:08,708 --> 00:06:10,125 -[laughter] -[student] Eat a dick! 154 00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:11,250 Hey, shut up! 155 00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:14,125 -Shut your holes! -[students laughing] 156 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,375 Teen pregnancy is not a joke! 157 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,667 Unless it happens to somebody funny. 158 00:06:22,417 --> 00:06:23,833 [laughter] 159 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,375 Protection is the key. 160 00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:29,083 I'm gonna show every Johnson in this room... 161 00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:30,667 [crowd cheers] 162 00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:34,333 ...that condoms really are one size fits all. 163 00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:36,125 Observe. 164 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,958 Now imagine I am the thing in question. 165 00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:43,250 [cheering, laughter] 166 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,750 -[Jess groans] -Oh, my God. 167 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,125 Yeah, they should've just handed out free condoms and called it a day. 168 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,458 Mm! Spoken like a true sexual expert. 169 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,958 -[Jess] I've only done it once. -[Hannah] That's more than me. 170 00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:56,083 God, I still cannot believe I greened out 171 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:59,333 and missed you meeting Johan, the dreamy exchange student. 172 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:00,583 -[condom screeches] -[Lundy groans] 173 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:01,792 [Jess] Yeah. [nervous chuckle] 174 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:04,750 Yeah, it's crazy that he had to go back to Germany, like, immediately. 175 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:07,083 Like, the very next day. Sucks. 176 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,167 [muffled] We have one final announcement. 177 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,583 Have a good time at prom. 178 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,375 And for heaven's sakes, use a condom! 179 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:17,458 [students applauding] 180 00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:21,125 Hey, I wanted to ask you, would you be okay 181 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,958 with doing pre-prom at Luca's instead of yours? 182 00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:25,667 The soccer team, they just, they decided to throw 183 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,458 a big party last minute, and Luca's the captain, so-- 184 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:29,708 Seriously? 185 00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:31,875 My mom planned, like, a whole thing for us. 186 00:07:31,958 --> 00:07:33,000 I know, 187 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,250 -but he's so excited. -Ugh! 188 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,458 Fine. 189 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,208 As long as we're still getting ready at mine. 190 00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:42,792 Of course. Yes. 191 00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:46,042 Yeah, well, nothing could be worse than that. 192 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,250 [♪ lively music playing] 193 00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:53,958 -Is that... -Greg. 194 00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:57,708 [singing] ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 195 00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:01,292 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 196 00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:04,542 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 197 00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:07,833 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 198 00:08:07,917 --> 00:08:10,292 [♪ upbeat electronic music playing] 199 00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:15,375 -Is he prom-posing right now? -Oh, my God. 200 00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,000 Please, no. 201 00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:19,667 [♪ upbeat music continues] 202 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,625 ♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 203 00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:27,000 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 204 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:28,083 ♪ Please come to prom... ♪ 205 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,542 Oh, my God, he's getting closer. 206 00:08:29,625 --> 00:08:30,917 -[spotlight clicks] -[Hannah gasps] 207 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,750 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 208 00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:37,333 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 209 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,708 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 210 00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:44,208 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 211 00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:47,125 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 212 00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:49,292 [Jess] They're putting a harness on him. 213 00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:50,667 [Hannah] [groaning] My, God. 214 00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:54,458 ♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 215 00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:57,583 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 216 00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:01,292 ♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 217 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,458 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 218 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:05,542 [Hannah] Oh, God. 219 00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:09,542 Hannah, will you please go to prom with me? 220 00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:12,292 Yeah! Yes, just fucking stop! 221 00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,083 She said yes! 222 00:09:15,167 --> 00:09:19,750 [students cheering and applauding] 223 00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:27,000 [indistinct chatter] 224 00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:30,375 [Hannah] It's always big public displays of affection with him. 225 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,042 I told him not to do that. 226 00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,000 He choreographed bananas for you. 227 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,208 Clearly, it came from a place of love. 228 00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,583 I've been dating Luca for four months, and I still can't even get him 229 00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:39,875 to introduce me to his parents. 230 00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,292 [Hannah] Consider yourself lucky. 231 00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:43,500 [Jess] Can't believe you two are going to different colleges. 232 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,583 Do you remember when you found out that he was sleeping 233 00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:46,917 with a lock of your hair? 234 00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:48,417 Dateline vibes. 235 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,417 Yeah. I think some space will be a good thing. 236 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,500 [locker door thuds] 237 00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:53,875 [Jess] No one had their phones out. 238 00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:55,542 [Hannah] You literally had your phone out. 239 00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,750 You wanna hang out tonight? Vodka Heather's throwing a party. 240 00:09:57,833 --> 00:10:00,083 Oh, God, I hope I'm the only Hannah in my program. 241 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,083 I do not want to be saddled with a nickname like that 242 00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:03,417 my first year of college. 243 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,917 Are you kidding me? She loves it. 244 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,417 [Hannah] That's actually surprisingly well done. 245 00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,125 She's got a really smooth lower back. 246 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,333 [Jess] Mm-hmm. 247 00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,208 As much as I would love to see that in person, 248 00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:15,333 Greg told me to come over tonight for a "surprise." 249 00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:17,583 I'm guessing it's a shared burial plot. 250 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,167 We can give you a ride home, though. 251 00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:20,542 [car horn honks] 252 00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,083 [Jess] Why's your brother here? 253 00:10:22,792 --> 00:10:24,208 [♪ "Bad Attitude" by Bella Rios playing] 254 00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:26,625 ♪ Don't you know you make me crazy ♪ 255 00:10:28,417 --> 00:10:29,875 ♪ Pull my hair... ♪ 256 00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:31,667 I can't believe this is happening right now. 257 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,958 I know. I've known you since we were, like, five. 258 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,792 Are you thinking about five-year-old me while I'm inside of you right now? 259 00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,500 -[Jess laughs] -That's fucked up. That's-- 260 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:41,750 You're sick. 261 00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:44,458 -Does sex always have this much talking? -Yeah. 262 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:47,125 Yeah, it does when you're nervous because you like someone. 263 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,583 We can't tell Hannah. 264 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,667 Oh, my God, no. Mum's the word. 265 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,792 Oh, great, now I'm thinking about your mom. 266 00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,000 -[Jacob groans] -[Jess gasps] 267 00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,833 [Jacob] No, but imagine I came when you said that. 268 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,750 [both laugh] 269 00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,250 -[Jess] That would be so weird. -[Jacob] That would be really fucked up. 270 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,917 -[Jess] I know. -[Jacob] That would be worse than, 271 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,708 like, you thinking about five-year-old me. 272 00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:08,500 -[both continue chatting indistinctly] -[Hannah snoring] 273 00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,042 -[car door shuts] -Hi. 274 00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,125 Hi. 275 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,917 [Hannah] Think your aux cord is busted. 276 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,292 Oh, uh, there's some CDs in the glove box if you want. 277 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,500 Eh, whatever. 278 00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:20,583 Your music taste is all women who sound like sad ghosts anyways. 279 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,792 That's... fair. 280 00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:25,875 -So when did you get back? -Uh, yesterday. 281 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,625 Yeah, I, uh, actually, I got a job at the Italian place 282 00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:30,542 near our house, so I'll be here till August. 283 00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,750 -Oh. -Felt like the right fit 284 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,292 because I would literally kill Hannah for a free chicken parm. 285 00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:36,708 Same. [laughs] 286 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,042 Hey, um, do you guys wanna go to a show tonight? 287 00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,792 There's this great band that's playing a warehouse near Rutgers Campus. 288 00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:44,083 Should be pretty cool. 289 00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,375 -Uh, I-- -I can't, I'm hanging with Greg. 290 00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:49,417 And Jess is probably busy jerking it to a pic of Luca. 291 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,292 -Who's Luca? -Her chodey boyfriend. 292 00:11:53,417 --> 00:11:55,500 -Oh. -[engine starts] 293 00:11:55,917 --> 00:11:57,167 Get your feet down. 294 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,583 [foot thuds] 295 00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,083 [Jacob] You were adopted. 296 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,708 [Hannah] Yeah, I know. 297 00:12:01,792 --> 00:12:04,542 ♪♪ 298 00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:14,333 [♪ song continues playing in car] 299 00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,625 [Hannah] Love you. 300 00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:16,708 [Jess] Love you. 301 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,583 Get home safe! 302 00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,167 My door's right there. 303 00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:22,875 Yeah, but you could trip. 304 00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:25,500 Let's go! I gotta rock a fat piss. 305 00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:28,000 -Why didn't you go at the school? -I did. 306 00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,333 -What? -Gotta go again. 307 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,917 [Jacob] What is the matter with you? 308 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,833 [♪ mellow music playing] 309 00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:36,125 [insects chirring] 310 00:12:41,958 --> 00:12:43,458 [doorbell chimes] 311 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,042 Hi, Hannah. Come in, come in. 312 00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:49,250 I'm just teaching Lucy a new trick. 313 00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,917 Come on, you don't wanna miss this. 314 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,417 Lucy, what would you like for dinner? 315 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,292 [automated voice] Duck. Rice. Please. 316 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,417 [Hannah] Wow, she's hitting all her food groups. 317 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,667 She's so advanced. 318 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:01,833 I'd send her to university, 319 00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,875 but I'm so scared of the fraternity parties. 320 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,417 She's so smart, she doesn't even need a treat. 321 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,708 Her reward is communicating with Mommy. 322 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,917 Awesome. 323 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,917 I'm gonna check on dinner. I'm cooking Ethiopian food tonight. 324 00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:17,125 -Greg should be down in a second. -Okay. 325 00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:19,625 -[buttons clacking] -[automated voice] Duck. Rice. Please. 326 00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:22,667 Please. Kill. Me. 327 00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:25,250 Why would they even give you those buttons as an option? 328 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,542 There's my Hannie Bananie. 329 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,958 Come upstairs, I have something I wanna show you. 330 00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:34,375 -[buttons clacking] -[automated voice] Please. Kill. Mommy. 331 00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:36,250 Kill. Mommy. 332 00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:38,250 Kill. Please. 333 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,083 Please. Please. Please. 334 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,292 [♪ upbeat music plays on computer] 335 00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:43,375 [chuckles] 336 00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:48,958 Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel. 337 00:13:49,042 --> 00:13:50,083 -So today... -[computer chimes] 338 00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:53,292 ...I have a super exciting makeup tutorial-- 339 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,833 [♪ "Performative" by Subsonic Eye playing] 340 00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:57,333 [keyboard clacking] 341 00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,042 ♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 342 00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:07,417 ♪ If I'm working, dying for who and what ♪ 343 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,833 ♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 344 00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,917 ♪ If I'm sleeping, living for who and... ♪ 345 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,542 [keys jingling] 346 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,583 So, what musical did you wanna watch? 347 00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,875 And before you say it, I know we can't watch Phantom 348 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,208 'cause it's "too scary." 349 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,583 You're not gonna propose, are you? 350 00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,042 -What if I did? -You're not. 351 00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,833 No! N-no. 352 00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,583 I wanted to take a smaller step first. 353 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,208 [♪ curious music playing] 354 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,125 [Greg sighs] 355 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,917 This is from Penn State. 356 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,208 Yes. 357 00:14:46,292 --> 00:14:48,458 So why's it addressed to you? You're going to Stanford. 358 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,125 You transferred. 359 00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:55,708 I transferred! 360 00:14:55,792 --> 00:14:57,125 [♪ dramatic sting] 361 00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:59,750 Now we don't have to worry about expensive flights 362 00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,000 or missing birthdays or anything. 363 00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,250 I even weaseled my way into the same dorm, 364 00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,958 so we never have to be apart. 365 00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:10,167 Isn't it so great? We're gonna be together forever. 366 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,292 [♪ dramatic sting] 367 00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:13,417 [distorted voice] Together forever. 368 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,667 Forever. 369 00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:17,875 Forever. 370 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,333 I have to go. 371 00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,417 [Greg] [normal voice] What? 372 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:22,750 Hannah! 373 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,375 [♪ dramatic music playing] 374 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,708 Hannah! 375 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:26,917 [Lucy panting, barks] 376 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000 [Hannah groans] 377 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,917 Lucy! 378 00:15:33,625 --> 00:15:36,458 [♪ "Really OK on My Own" by Coach Party playing in car] 379 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:42,375 ♪ I wanna stay here and be really okay on my own ♪ 380 00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,417 ♪ Really okay on my own, don't wanna be alone ♪ 381 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,750 Okay. You can do this. 382 00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,292 They're gonna love you. 383 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,042 ♪ Don't wanna be-- ♪ 384 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,708 [car door chimes, music stops] 385 00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:56,667 -[car door thuds] -[gate creaks] 386 00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:03,958 [♪ sensual music plays on speakers] 387 00:16:04,042 --> 00:16:05,875 -Luca? -[Luca] Jess?! 388 00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:07,542 -Jesus! -[Luca scoffs] 389 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,167 I thought you had a family dinner? 390 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,375 I do! I mean, I did. 391 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:15,208 I yelled at my mom for buying ham instead of prosciutto, 392 00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:16,833 so my parents went out without me. 393 00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,250 How could you do this to me? 394 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,708 Look, it's not what it looks like. I barely know this girl. 395 00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,042 Uh, you texted me. 396 00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:23,417 Janine, I swear to God. 397 00:16:26,708 --> 00:16:29,417 [Janine] I'm so sorry, I didn't know he was with someone. 398 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:32,417 -[Luca] Siri, pause "Sexy Time" playlist. -[♪ music stops] 399 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,667 Your text was a lie? 400 00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,833 Not fully. 401 00:16:34,917 --> 00:16:36,833 I bet my mom would think that you have great taste 402 00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,292 if she knew who you were. 403 00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,083 You're an asshole. 404 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,250 [Luca] Jess. 405 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,042 Come on, Jess! 406 00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,167 Yo, Janine, [scoffs] are you still here? 407 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,250 Could we DoorDash some 'scuitto? 408 00:16:50,292 --> 00:16:51,292 [water splashes] 409 00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,792 Luca cheated on me! 410 00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:55,375 No. Greg transferred to Penn State. 411 00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:56,583 What?! 412 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,875 Meet at my house now! 413 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,208 How could he fucking do this to me? 414 00:17:00,292 --> 00:17:02,125 There goes my chance at being prom queen. 415 00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:04,250 He couldn't wait one night to get his dick wet? 416 00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,167 I bought handcuffs, Hannah. Handcuffs! 417 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,917 And yeah, I bought them from the Halloween store 418 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,583 because the sex store kinda scares me, but I was gonna Google how to use them 419 00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:11,792 and blow his fucking mind. 420 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:13,292 Like, I was gonna use them on my ankles. 421 00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:14,500 That's crazy. 422 00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,042 Ugh! You know what my name is in his phone? 423 00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:17,625 It's "Jess Harrison Lee High." 424 00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,583 We go to the same fucking school. 425 00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,250 Yeah, that's crazy. 426 00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,458 Hannah, you've said the same thing, like, five times. 427 00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,125 Look, I know that Greg's transferring was a shock, 428 00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:28,625 but isn't it a good thing? 429 00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,458 Especially considering the alternative? 430 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:31,875 I'm a lesbian. 431 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,833 I've wanted to tell you forever, 432 00:17:33,917 --> 00:17:35,375 but I could never get you at the right time, 433 00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,167 and I wasn't entirely sure 434 00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,833 'cause I hadn't kissed a girl before, so how could I know? 435 00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:42,000 But then two weeks into dating, 436 00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,875 Greg went down on me for the first time, 437 00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:46,958 and I had to think of Rachel Weisz in The Mummy to cum. 438 00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:50,292 And then it was obvious, but I wasn't ready for my whole life 439 00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:52,000 to be turned upside down, 440 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:55,542 so I figured I'd go to college and get a septum ring, 441 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,625 and it'd sort of sort itself out, 442 00:17:57,708 --> 00:18:01,292 but then Greg wanted to wear my skin as a coat, 443 00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:04,750 and now I can't live one more second pretending 444 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,875 that I'm not obsessed with girls. 445 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:08,625 [chuckles] 446 00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:09,708 Hannah. 447 00:18:10,042 --> 00:18:12,250 [♪ gentle music playing] 448 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,083 Hannah, I know you're gay. 449 00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:16,250 -What? -I'm your best friend. 450 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,292 And also, it's not exactly hard to tell. 451 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,375 What the...? 452 00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,708 In fourth grade, you bought Mrs. Workowski a bottle of perfume 453 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,333 and then when her husband came for Career Day, 454 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,458 you called him a little bitch. 455 00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:27,958 He was a little bitch. 456 00:18:28,042 --> 00:18:31,042 -He was a firefighter. -He was a bitchy firefighter. 457 00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:34,667 How come you didn't say anything? 458 00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:36,542 It wasn't my place. 459 00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,458 I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. 460 00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,917 Just like I didn't tell you I was Black until I was eight. 461 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,583 And also, when you started dating Greg, I thought maybe you were bi. 462 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:44,875 No. 463 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,417 I was just scared. 464 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,542 So scared, I wasted 10 months of my life giving hand jobs 465 00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,750 to a guy with a Glee bumper sticker. 466 00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:53,833 Oh, my God. 467 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,042 I just ran out. 468 00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,583 How the fuck am I gonna look him in the eye tomorrow? 469 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,542 Tomorrow. 470 00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,667 Fuck! Tomorrow is prom and we don't have dates! 471 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:07,333 Dope! The perfect excuse not to go! 472 00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,458 Uh, we are absolutely going. 473 00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:12,917 Do you know how much of my college fund I spent on two dresses? 474 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,292 Lashes? Shoes? 475 00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,417 I got a Brazilian, Hannah. I don't even know what that is. 476 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:17,958 Did you know you have hair on your asshole? 477 00:19:18,042 --> 00:19:19,750 It is fucked up down there! Okay? 478 00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,917 We are going to prom, and we're getting new dates tonight. 479 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,083 It is 9:00 p.m., Jessica. 480 00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,083 -Prom pact. -Stop. 481 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,958 Prom pact. 482 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,542 Oh, you wanna compare scars? 483 00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:34,333 'Cause this landed me in 10 months of therapy 484 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:37,167 after my mom thought I tried to publicly commit suicide. 485 00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:41,000 We promised that no matter what, this would be our night. 486 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,250 [both squealing] 487 00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,208 I can't wait to go to prom with my boyfriend. 488 00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,333 If I'm not dating someone by senior year, 489 00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:48,500 I'm gonna drink bleach and blast social media 490 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,875 so I can get a date with Taylor Lautner. 491 00:19:50,958 --> 00:19:53,292 Fuck, I wish I thought of that. 492 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:56,208 That's just one part of the perfect prom night. 493 00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:59,667 We only have one shot at senior prom. One. And we are this close. 494 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,667 I mean, are you really gonna let some douchebag 495 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,625 who sprays fucking Paco Rabanne on his balls 496 00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,083 screw up my moment in the spotlight? 497 00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:06,500 I don't know what you want me to do. 498 00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,125 I don't even know what I would say to Greg. 499 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,167 You are going to prom with the love of your life. 500 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,500 Or as close as we can get. We're gonna find you a girl. 501 00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:14,625 I've never even flirted with a girl. 502 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:16,167 I'm just supposed to ask one to prom? 503 00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:18,208 I get why prom with a dude doesn't seem so exciting. 504 00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:20,417 But what about prom with the girl of your dreams 505 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,583 who you get to maybe finger in the limo later? 506 00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:25,542 [chalk scratching] 507 00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,292 That's your finger. 508 00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:30,708 I do want to finger the girl of my dreams. 509 00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,500 He has to be hot. Or at least hotter than Luca. 510 00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:36,417 Anything less is proof I'm ugly. 511 00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,417 [mouthful] Oh, my God, what about Eric Stevens? 512 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,958 -[Jess] Who? -That kid who brought a can 513 00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,375 of Whiskas for lunch in ninth grade. 514 00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:45,125 You mean Cat Stevens? 515 00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,917 [gasps] Oh, my God! Amar. 516 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,292 His parents have a private jet, and just broke up with Lisa. 517 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,583 Okay, yes. Calling him now. 518 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,750 Genius. 519 00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:54,500 [line ringing] 520 00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,750 I can't believe they used the one where I sneezed. 521 00:20:56,833 --> 00:21:00,042 Amar. I just was wondering who you're going to prom with. 522 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,583 Yeah, no, that's great. I totally get it. 523 00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:05,125 I'm so glad you two worked it out because I heard that-- 524 00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,917 I-I heard a rumor that she's cheating on you. 525 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,250 [Hannah gasps] 526 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,375 No, you didn't. 527 00:21:09,458 --> 00:21:11,208 -I did. -Yeah, you fucking did. 528 00:21:11,292 --> 00:21:12,625 [both laugh] 529 00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:15,417 Okay. Ooh! Angie Adams. 530 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,083 -She's perfect. -[Hannah] Are you kidding me? 531 00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:19,292 I would die to come out at prom with someone as cool as her. 532 00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,458 Look, I might as well DM Sarah Paulson and ask her to prom. 533 00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:24,667 -Hannah. -It would never happen. 534 00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:25,917 [sighs] Fine. 535 00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:27,958 [cellphone buzzes] 536 00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,583 [Hannah] Take this away from me. 537 00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,458 Time to text Melissa Kelly. 538 00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:36,875 -Okay, give it back. -Mm. 539 00:21:40,458 --> 00:21:41,917 "Hey. 540 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:46,125 "Do you wanna go to prom? 541 00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:48,333 With me?" 542 00:21:49,792 --> 00:21:50,833 -Mm, mm! -What? What? 543 00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:52,042 She's typing. 544 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,292 -[Jess] Come on! -[Hannah] No! 545 00:21:55,375 --> 00:21:56,667 That is a lie! 546 00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:59,292 She hit, like, 42 home runs this year. 547 00:21:59,375 --> 00:22:00,667 [Jess] God. 548 00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:02,750 -[Jess groans] -Bitch. 549 00:22:03,042 --> 00:22:04,917 -Hey. -[Hannah groans] 550 00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:07,375 [Hannah sighs] 551 00:22:10,042 --> 00:22:11,375 [♪ pop music playing on phone] 552 00:22:11,458 --> 00:22:14,000 If we can't find anyone in high school, let's go to college. 553 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,875 Scarlet Knights forever! I'm never gonna die! Woo! 554 00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:20,917 [♪ muffled techno music playing in car] 555 00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:28,083 [♪ music blasts from car] 556 00:22:33,042 --> 00:22:35,125 [♪ music gets muffled again] 557 00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,292 [Hannah] Thank you! 558 00:22:39,417 --> 00:22:42,167 [♪ muffled techno music plays in house] 559 00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:44,625 [indistinct chatter] 560 00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:48,167 [Jess] We get in, we ask someone, we get out. 561 00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:49,542 [Hannah] I'm having second thoughts. 562 00:22:49,625 --> 00:22:50,958 Maybe we should just go home. 563 00:22:51,042 --> 00:22:52,458 -I kinda want to go home. -It's too late. 564 00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,000 -Okay. -[knocking on door] 565 00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:56,958 [Jess] Vodka Heather! 566 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,042 Jess. 567 00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:00,375 -What the fuck is up? -[Jess chuckles] 568 00:23:00,458 --> 00:23:02,458 Damn, I haven't seen you since summer camp. 569 00:23:02,542 --> 00:23:03,875 I didn't know you were hot now. 570 00:23:03,958 --> 00:23:06,125 Oh, thank you. [laughs] 571 00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:07,667 Um, yeah, no, anyway, 572 00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:10,083 thanks, uh-- thank you for sending the address by the way. 573 00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:12,375 We've had kind of, like, a crazy night 574 00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:13,708 -like you wouldn't believe. -Crazy. 575 00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:15,125 Yeah, whatever. Take these. 576 00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:16,208 [Jess] Oh. 577 00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:18,125 [Heather] In it goes, yeah. Bottoms up. 578 00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:19,583 -[Jess] Mm-hmm! -And get in here, 579 00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:21,917 the cops are already on my ass for pissing on the neighbor's lawn. 580 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,125 [Hannah groans] 581 00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:26,542 Serve and protect this ass, you fucking cunts! 582 00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:30,375 [♪ techno music playing on speakers] 583 00:23:30,458 --> 00:23:34,000 So, um, are there any single... [coughs] guys? 584 00:23:34,667 --> 00:23:35,667 Let's just leave. 585 00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,250 [coughs] Hey, Hannah! 586 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,333 -I don't know what to do, Jess. -Relax. 587 00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:41,333 How do you even flirt with a lesbian? 588 00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:43,625 Uh, well, how would you want someone to flirt with you? 589 00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,542 I don't know, by, like, uh, 590 00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:48,833 giving me a-a bunch of different flowers and they all, like, 591 00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:51,000 represent the different qualities about me. 592 00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:53,292 Wow, you are gay. 593 00:23:53,375 --> 00:23:55,125 -You're not helping. -Okay, okay. 594 00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,958 Just, just tell them that they smell nice. 595 00:23:57,042 --> 00:23:59,208 -Everyone wants to hear that. -Okay, yeah. Good call. 596 00:23:59,292 --> 00:24:00,292 -Yeah? -Okay. 597 00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:01,375 [Jess] Okay. 598 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:04,792 I am gonna go hit on Timothée Chalamet. 599 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:07,750 You are gonna find a hot lesbian and sweep her off her feet. 600 00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:09,208 -Yeah. Uh-huh. -Yeah? Okay? 601 00:24:09,292 --> 00:24:10,375 -Yep. -Alright. You ready? 602 00:24:10,458 --> 00:24:11,458 I guess. 603 00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:13,000 -Meet you on the other side. -Okay. 604 00:24:13,292 --> 00:24:14,375 [Jess] Okay. 605 00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:18,042 [♪ hip-hop music playing] 606 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,000 How do I know who's gay? 607 00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:27,500 -[tires screech] -[car rumbling] 608 00:24:29,833 --> 00:24:31,625 -[brakes squeal] -[Greg groaning] 609 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,167 [crying, muttering] 610 00:24:37,250 --> 00:24:38,917 [groaning, crying] 611 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,083 [cellphone buzzing] 612 00:24:44,708 --> 00:24:46,208 -Hi, Mommy. -Did you find her? 613 00:24:47,083 --> 00:24:49,542 No, she wo-- she won't pick up her phone. 614 00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:51,167 I'm talking about Lucy! 615 00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:53,333 I'm worried sick! That's your sister! 616 00:24:53,417 --> 00:24:55,000 I don't care about the damn dog! 617 00:24:55,583 --> 00:24:57,250 I'm chasing the love of my life. 618 00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:00,667 -Oh, God. -[Greg crying] 619 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,083 Hannah, please. 620 00:25:03,417 --> 00:25:04,875 I know I come on strong, 621 00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,875 but it's just because of the amount of love I have in my heart. 622 00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:09,708 [Jacob] Hey, she's not here. 623 00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:11,583 Last I heard, she was with you. I-- 624 00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:14,708 [Greg crying, muttering] 625 00:25:14,792 --> 00:25:16,208 -Okay. -She's-She's not with me. 626 00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:18,250 -She's not. -[Jacob] Are you okay? 627 00:25:18,333 --> 00:25:19,833 [sniffles] I don't know. 628 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,833 I'm probably pretty dehydrated because... 629 00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:25,167 I've been crying a lot. 630 00:25:25,708 --> 00:25:27,125 -A lot. -Okay, okay, okay. 631 00:25:27,208 --> 00:25:29,750 Um, you stay here, okay? 632 00:25:29,833 --> 00:25:31,125 I'm gonna get you some water. Okay? 633 00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:32,292 -Okay. -Okay. 634 00:25:32,375 --> 00:25:34,042 -[Greg crying] -You gonna be okay? 635 00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:35,333 -Uh, yeah. -You sure? 636 00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:36,542 -Yeah. [cries] -Okay. 637 00:25:36,625 --> 00:25:37,667 [sobbing] 638 00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:39,125 Think happy thoughts. 639 00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:41,333 No! 640 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:45,542 [Greg screams] 641 00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:47,792 [♪ "Monacillo" by Argonaut & Wasp playing] 642 00:25:47,875 --> 00:25:49,542 ♪ Like a Wall Street widow ♪ 643 00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:52,000 That's a good one. 644 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,708 You an Angel Olsen fan? 645 00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:58,083 Are you an Angel Olsen fan? 646 00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:01,458 Oh. 647 00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:04,458 Oh, oh, oh, oh, si, si. Um... 648 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,833 -Hmm. -Um, so, yeah, so I know some basics. 649 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,333 Giancarlo. [chuckles] 650 00:26:19,417 --> 00:26:21,125 I like that. [chuckles] 651 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,500 Totally. 652 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,500 Hey, do you want to get a drink? 653 00:26:34,583 --> 00:26:38,375 ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ 654 00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:41,750 I got this. I got this. 655 00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,792 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 656 00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:44,875 Hey. 657 00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:47,375 What's up? 658 00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:51,583 ♪ I take no shit from no one, robbed two banks in Puerto Rico ♪ 659 00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:52,792 Oh. 660 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,958 After you. After you. [chuckles] 661 00:26:57,042 --> 00:26:58,125 After me. 662 00:27:00,917 --> 00:27:03,500 Awesome party, you guys. Really killer. 663 00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,417 Hi. Hi. 664 00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:10,750 Hey. How's it-- 665 00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,833 ♪ Yes, sir, been misbehaving ♪ 666 00:27:12,917 --> 00:27:15,333 -Dammit. -♪ It's the law ♪ 667 00:27:18,292 --> 00:27:21,583 ♪ Oh, when the day's been calling ♪ 668 00:27:21,667 --> 00:27:24,583 -♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ -Um... 669 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,458 Uh, you smell really good. 670 00:27:27,750 --> 00:27:30,000 Oh, sweetheart. [soft laugh] I'm a twink. 671 00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:32,250 -Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. -Don't worry about it. 672 00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:34,875 -Oh, my God. -Now I know I look good. 673 00:27:34,958 --> 00:27:36,542 [both chuckle] 674 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,792 I'm so sorry. 675 00:27:37,875 --> 00:27:40,750 [indistinct chatter, yelling] 676 00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:44,292 ♪ Waking in an old cellblock ♪ 677 00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,208 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 678 00:27:46,292 --> 00:27:50,500 ♪ You won't find me ♪ 679 00:27:53,208 --> 00:27:54,458 [Hannah] Oh, I'm sorry. 680 00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:56,083 -Get in here. -No, no, no, it's okay. 681 00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:58,167 -I really don't-- - Get the fuck in here. 682 00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:00,292 Move. 683 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:05,750 Mm. 684 00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:08,250 You look stressed. You want some molly? 685 00:28:08,333 --> 00:28:11,333 Actually, I'm trying to cut back. But thank you. 686 00:28:12,708 --> 00:28:13,958 [pill crunching] 687 00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:15,167 I'm gonna go find Jess. 688 00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:17,000 -[hand slaps] -You need to get high. 689 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,875 -What? -Here. 690 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,083 You know, I used to be just like you. 691 00:28:26,667 --> 00:28:30,000 Sad, no confidence, wetting the bed all the time. 692 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:31,167 I don't wet the bed. 693 00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:32,375 Until I became Vodka Heather. 694 00:28:32,792 --> 00:28:34,292 Vodka Heather can do anything. 695 00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:35,542 Watch this. 696 00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:37,792 -[skin sizzling] -Whoa! Don't do that! 697 00:28:38,292 --> 00:28:39,583 Kiss each other. 698 00:28:41,167 --> 00:28:43,667 -See? -Yeah, I don't think I want what you have. 699 00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:45,625 You do. It's all about confidence. 700 00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,167 Substance-induced confidence. 701 00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:51,458 Don't you think talking to girls would be a lot easier if you were confident? 702 00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,208 -Fuck it. -[Heather chuckles] 703 00:28:56,292 --> 00:28:58,500 That's the spirit. Gimme your keys. 704 00:29:02,417 --> 00:29:04,500 [sniffs] 705 00:29:06,292 --> 00:29:07,958 -[keys jingling] -Get down here. Come on. 706 00:29:08,042 --> 00:29:11,500 -[♪ thumping bass music playing] -[muffled guests chattering] 707 00:29:12,792 --> 00:29:14,292 [chuckles] Open wide. 708 00:29:15,792 --> 00:29:17,000 [Hannah sniffs] 709 00:29:17,083 --> 00:29:18,125 [keys rattling] 710 00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:20,583 So? How do you feel? 711 00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:21,875 [♪ dramatic sting] 712 00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:23,292 Gay as hell. 713 00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:25,208 So, do you study film with Heather? 714 00:29:26,917 --> 00:29:27,917 [Jess] Mm. 715 00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:35,125 Yeah, same. 716 00:29:49,417 --> 00:29:50,417 Yeah. 717 00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:53,708 Yeah. Hey, do you wanna go somewhere else to talk? 718 00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:56,000 -Absolutely. -Okay. 719 00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:59,000 [Heather] It's time. Go get 'em, tiger. 720 00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:01,292 Wait, how do I know who's gay? 721 00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:04,417 Uh, it's a first-year college party. 722 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,042 Everyone's gay. 723 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000 Okay. 724 00:30:08,417 --> 00:30:09,583 [exhales sharply] 725 00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:13,625 -♪ Yeah! ♪ -♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 726 00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:14,875 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪ 727 00:30:14,958 --> 00:30:17,333 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 728 00:30:17,417 --> 00:30:18,417 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 729 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,000 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 730 00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:26,208 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 731 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:31,375 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 732 00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:32,667 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 733 00:30:32,750 --> 00:30:36,250 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 734 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:39,958 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 735 00:30:40,042 --> 00:30:42,625 [♪ chill music playing] 736 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,208 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ♪ 737 00:30:50,292 --> 00:30:54,250 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, ah ah ♪ 738 00:30:54,333 --> 00:30:55,708 ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ 739 00:30:58,333 --> 00:30:59,542 You here alone? 740 00:31:00,292 --> 00:31:01,292 Yeah. 741 00:31:02,042 --> 00:31:03,042 [sharp inhale] 742 00:31:03,458 --> 00:31:04,792 Not anymore. 743 00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:06,458 [♪ eerie music playing] 744 00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:08,208 [giggles] Oh. Ooh. 745 00:31:08,292 --> 00:31:10,792 [chuckles] Interesting. 746 00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:13,583 -[door closes] -Um, yeah, no, u-uh, sorry. 747 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,042 I-I'm sorry if I was too forward, 748 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,708 I just, I just wanted to ask you a question 749 00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:23,042 [laughing] Okay. 750 00:31:23,917 --> 00:31:25,292 Yeah, no, I was wondering 751 00:31:25,375 --> 00:31:27,875 if maybe you're free tomorrow to-- 752 00:31:27,958 --> 00:31:28,958 Oh, okay. 753 00:31:29,042 --> 00:31:31,792 Yeah, do a little more of that. Um... 754 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:37,458 [Jess laughs] 755 00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,875 Thank you. 756 00:31:39,958 --> 00:31:43,458 [both moaning] 757 00:31:43,542 --> 00:31:44,583 [door closes] 758 00:31:44,667 --> 00:31:48,333 -[both moaning] -[kisses smacking] 759 00:31:52,042 --> 00:31:53,167 Oh, hell yeah. 760 00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,125 Okay, my turn. [grunts] 761 00:31:56,292 --> 00:31:57,292 [gasps] 762 00:31:58,625 --> 00:31:59,625 Cool fanny pack. 763 00:31:59,708 --> 00:32:00,875 [fanny pack clatters] 764 00:32:00,958 --> 00:32:02,625 -Hot. -Yeah, it's whatever. 765 00:32:02,708 --> 00:32:03,792 [zipper buzzes] 766 00:32:04,542 --> 00:32:05,583 [Hannah grunts] 767 00:32:05,667 --> 00:32:06,667 Fuck. 768 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:09,250 You know, actually, I prefer to do it with them on. 769 00:32:09,333 --> 00:32:10,417 [Amber laughs] 770 00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,125 [Amber] Who are you? 771 00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,583 I'm Hannah motherfuckin' Shapiro. 772 00:32:15,292 --> 00:32:17,583 Wait. My last name's Shapiro. [laughs] 773 00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:19,958 [Hannah] It's a pretty common last name. Where are you from? 774 00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:22,708 Seattle. [chuckles] 775 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,625 Wait. What's your dad's name? 776 00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:26,208 Nate. 777 00:32:27,042 --> 00:32:28,208 With the restaurant? 778 00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:31,750 -Yes. -We're second cousins. 779 00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:35,083 No, we can't-- 780 00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,167 Wait, was your bat mitzvah theme Twilight? 781 00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:39,417 [Hannah] [gasps] Oh, my God, yeah. 782 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:41,167 I guess this is why people have family reunions. 783 00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:43,292 -[police sirens wail] -[Amber] Oh, my God. Thank God. 784 00:32:43,375 --> 00:32:44,875 -Holy shit. -You wanna just, uh, pretend 785 00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:46,250 -this never happened? -Hundred percent. 786 00:32:46,333 --> 00:32:47,333 [Amber] Yeah. 787 00:32:47,417 --> 00:32:49,042 Hey, did you know Aunt Marsha died? 788 00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:50,500 [Amber] Jesus. Bad time. 789 00:32:50,583 --> 00:32:51,875 -[door thuds] -[police radio chatter] 790 00:32:51,958 --> 00:32:52,958 [people screaming] 791 00:32:53,042 --> 00:32:56,500 We got a complaint that this house was blasting Charli XCX, 792 00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:58,625 so I know somebody's snorting drugs in here. 793 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:00,375 Let's dance. 794 00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:02,125 [Hannah] Shit! 795 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,042 Finally, Christ, you pay so much for data, 796 00:33:06,125 --> 00:33:07,708 you'd think Google Translate would work. 797 00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:10,292 [sighs] Okay, um... [clears throat] 798 00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:11,375 Uh... 799 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,667 -Oh, shit! Sorry. -Oh, my God! 800 00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:17,708 -Hannah! -The cops are here! We gotta go! 801 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000 [footsteps clomping] 802 00:33:30,292 --> 00:33:31,542 Was that guy trying to kill you? 803 00:33:31,625 --> 00:33:33,417 Look, it was either that or intense sexual chemistry, 804 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:34,542 and I was willing to find out. 805 00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:35,708 -Oh, come on. -[Jess groans] 806 00:33:35,792 --> 00:33:36,917 Eat glass, pigs. 807 00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,833 -[bottle shatters] -Run! 808 00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:39,917 Great party! 809 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,708 -[♪ dramatic music playing] -[Jess shrieks] 810 00:33:41,792 --> 00:33:44,458 -[sirens blares] -[people screaming] 811 00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:47,292 [helicopter hovering] 812 00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:48,792 No, wait. Come on. 813 00:33:49,167 --> 00:33:51,167 [sirens wailing] 814 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:54,708 Shit, shit, shit. What do we do? 815 00:33:54,792 --> 00:33:56,000 I snorted a bunch of drugs. 816 00:33:56,083 --> 00:33:58,125 If they test me, I'm going to jail for sure. 817 00:33:58,208 --> 00:33:59,625 What do you think they're gonna do to me? 818 00:33:59,708 --> 00:34:01,250 I'm a Black teenager who broke a minor law, 819 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:02,583 I'm their wet fuckin' dream. 820 00:34:03,667 --> 00:34:05,042 -We gotta go over. -[Hannah] Oh, fuck. 821 00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,750 [Jess] If we double bounce, we can get enough air 822 00:34:06,833 --> 00:34:07,833 to clear the fence. 823 00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:09,792 [both grunt] 824 00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:11,083 -I got you. -Okay, okay, thanks. 825 00:34:11,167 --> 00:34:12,458 -[Hannah] Okay. -[Jess grunts] 826 00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,042 [Jess] Ready? Ninja kick over the fence. 827 00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,917 -Hiya! -Yeah, like that, like that. Yeah. 828 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,042 -Hiya! -Ya! 829 00:34:18,125 --> 00:34:19,167 [Hannah] Oh, this is fun! 830 00:34:19,250 --> 00:34:20,583 -[Hannah laughs] -Hey, shut up! 831 00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:22,542 Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I think I'm still pretty high. 832 00:34:22,625 --> 00:34:24,750 Give me your hands. Okay, we hop two, turn, 833 00:34:24,833 --> 00:34:26,375 -and count, okay? -Okay. Ah! 834 00:34:26,792 --> 00:34:29,167 [both] One, two, three! 835 00:34:29,250 --> 00:34:30,292 [both scream] 836 00:34:30,375 --> 00:34:32,250 [water splashes] 837 00:34:32,333 --> 00:34:35,000 [water bubbling] 838 00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:37,292 [both gasping] 839 00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:39,375 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 840 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,625 [Jess] We fucking did it! 841 00:34:41,708 --> 00:34:42,750 You're a genius! 842 00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,167 I never should have doubted you. 843 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,000 [Jess laughs] 844 00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:47,208 [♪ tense sting] 845 00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:49,542 Are you... 846 00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,458 girls? 847 00:34:54,333 --> 00:34:55,667 [Jess] Yes. 848 00:34:57,542 --> 00:35:00,458 [frat bros cheering] 849 00:35:00,542 --> 00:35:03,708 [gulping] 850 00:35:05,667 --> 00:35:07,167 Alright, pace yourself. 851 00:35:07,250 --> 00:35:08,708 [gasping breaths, sniffs] 852 00:35:08,792 --> 00:35:10,583 -Thanks, Jacob. -Yeah. 853 00:35:10,667 --> 00:35:12,042 You have a really calming presence. 854 00:35:12,125 --> 00:35:15,042 I think it's 'cause you remind me of, of... 855 00:35:15,125 --> 00:35:17,458 O-Okay, okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. 856 00:35:17,542 --> 00:35:20,917 Look, I-I'm-I'm sure everything is, is gonna work out 857 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,292 exactly how it's supposed to, you know? 858 00:35:23,375 --> 00:35:25,333 And ma-maybe Hannah just needs some time to think. 859 00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:27,458 You know, hav-haven't you ever needed time away from her 860 00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,458 -to-to-to process or just-- -No. 861 00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:31,667 I would live in her pocket if I could. 862 00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:34,750 Okay. Okay. 863 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:37,000 I'm-I'm sorry, Jacob. It's just... [sniffles] 864 00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:38,583 -No, no. It's-- -I don't mean to be a burden. 865 00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,333 I just, I-I can't be alone right now. 866 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:43,500 I just can't. 867 00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:46,375 Hey, um, I was gonna go to a concert tonight. 868 00:35:46,708 --> 00:35:48,167 Do you want to come with me to that? 869 00:35:48,250 --> 00:35:49,750 -Thank you! -Oh! 870 00:35:49,833 --> 00:35:51,333 Oh, please. 871 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,375 -Okay. - Can we hold hands in the car? 872 00:35:55,958 --> 00:35:57,917 [indistinct chatter] 873 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,083 [frat bro 1] Oh, your hair's straight again. Cool. 874 00:36:01,083 --> 00:36:03,417 Uh... thanks. 875 00:36:04,375 --> 00:36:06,875 Sorry we had to crash your party. We kind of had no choice. 876 00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:09,708 But, you know, without you guys, we probably would be arrested right now. 877 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,625 Actually, I'd say us somersaulting 878 00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:13,625 through the air is what saved us, but, you know... 879 00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,042 Yeah, thank you so much. 880 00:36:16,125 --> 00:36:18,958 Are you kidding? You babes are the ones helping us out. 881 00:36:19,042 --> 00:36:21,208 This was supposed to be our frat's big end of year kegger, 882 00:36:21,292 --> 00:36:24,250 but, [burps] none of the sororities we invited showed up, so... 883 00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,417 [frat bros] One, two, three. 884 00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:27,500 [bottles shattering] 885 00:36:27,583 --> 00:36:29,042 -[grunts] -[together] For the boys! 886 00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:30,417 [frat bro 2] You're not coming tonight? 887 00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:34,167 Okay, looks like I took that mandatory consent course for nothing. 888 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,458 -[punch thuds] -[groans] 889 00:36:36,917 --> 00:36:38,042 Wonder why. 890 00:36:38,542 --> 00:36:41,167 -I'm Jess by the way. -Reggie. 891 00:36:41,542 --> 00:36:43,792 So, do you ladies want me to get you some drinks? 892 00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,167 Um, we should really be going. 893 00:36:45,250 --> 00:36:48,042 And our parents know our exact locations, 894 00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:49,958 so they'd be able to find us 895 00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:52,542 if for some reason we were blocked from leaving. 896 00:36:53,792 --> 00:36:57,333 -Huh. -[laughs] She's just-- 897 00:36:57,417 --> 00:36:59,042 She's just kidding. [laughs] 898 00:36:59,125 --> 00:37:01,792 Hannah, Hannah, can I, can I talk to you over there for a sec? 899 00:37:05,375 --> 00:37:07,958 -[♪ hip-hop music playing] -[indistinct chatter, shouting] 900 00:37:09,167 --> 00:37:11,250 -I think we should stay. -Are you serious? 901 00:37:11,333 --> 00:37:14,333 Frat bros are, like, the most rapey subgroup of men. 902 00:37:14,917 --> 00:37:17,250 I don't get that vibe from Reggie. He seems honest. 903 00:37:17,625 --> 00:37:19,833 God, you have horrible taste in men. 904 00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:21,542 I promise I'll be quick, okay? 905 00:37:21,625 --> 00:37:23,958 I'm ju-- I'll-I'll just feel him out and then ask him right away. 906 00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:28,125 And then we can find the gayest, queerest co-op 907 00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:31,167 slash poetry slam slash vegan restaurant you can imagine. 908 00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,500 Come on, he's a hot college guy. 909 00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:36,000 Everyone would freak if I brought him to prom. 910 00:37:36,083 --> 00:37:37,208 Please, Hans. 911 00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:38,375 Fine. 912 00:37:38,750 --> 00:37:40,500 -You're the best. -I know. 913 00:37:41,208 --> 00:37:42,375 Hey, wanna play beer pong? 914 00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:44,167 [Reggie] Rock 'n' roll. Table's this way. 915 00:37:44,750 --> 00:37:46,125 [Hannah] Okay, you know what? 916 00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:48,500 Keep your location on, just in case. 917 00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:49,750 Yes, Mommy. 918 00:37:55,875 --> 00:37:57,750 [clears throat] Hey, so I was wondering if maybe-- 919 00:37:57,833 --> 00:38:00,125 -I'm gay. -Coolio. Cool. 920 00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:01,917 Gay is good. 921 00:38:02,667 --> 00:38:05,000 -In-- So you're into sports, then? -I'm gonna go inside. 922 00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:06,333 Yeah. Right on. 923 00:38:09,083 --> 00:38:10,958 -[door thuds] -[sighs] 924 00:38:12,292 --> 00:38:13,958 [narrator] [on TV] The childhood nursery rhyme 925 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:18,333 "Lemur Lemur, Femur Femur" has long delighted fans 926 00:38:18,417 --> 00:38:23,167 of these petite, wide-eyed, sharply snouted coconut enthusiasts. 927 00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:26,083 While some lemurs are active during the day, 928 00:38:26,167 --> 00:38:28,208 some can be quite active at night... 929 00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:31,208 [narrator continues indistinctly] 930 00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:33,917 [door opens] 931 00:38:37,833 --> 00:38:39,000 [sighs] 932 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:42,500 Ugh. 933 00:38:42,583 --> 00:38:46,042 -[♪ muffled thumping music playing] -[muffled chatter from outside] 934 00:38:54,792 --> 00:38:55,958 [sniffs] 935 00:38:56,333 --> 00:38:57,375 [groans] 936 00:38:57,458 --> 00:38:58,542 [alcohol swishes] 937 00:39:01,167 --> 00:39:02,167 [zipper buzzes] 938 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:05,542 [cellphone clicks] 939 00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:07,458 Oh, fuck. 940 00:39:08,542 --> 00:39:11,958 [♪ muffled thumping music continues] 941 00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:17,458 [objects clattering] 942 00:39:19,417 --> 00:39:21,083 [sighs] 943 00:39:21,167 --> 00:39:23,208 [inhales] 944 00:39:23,708 --> 00:39:25,042 [sighs] 945 00:39:26,917 --> 00:39:28,208 -[ball clacks] -[Reggie] Ugh! 946 00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:30,958 [ball clatters] 947 00:39:31,042 --> 00:39:33,167 -Damn, you're pretty good at this. -[Jess] What can I say? 948 00:39:33,250 --> 00:39:36,167 When I know what I want, nothing stops me from getting it. 949 00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:38,875 Same. You know, I actually didn't get into college, 950 00:39:38,958 --> 00:39:40,875 so I just started showing up to the classes. 951 00:39:40,958 --> 00:39:42,375 Now they have to give me a degree. 952 00:39:42,458 --> 00:39:45,292 Mm. You wanna play another round? 953 00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,625 Let's do it. 954 00:39:46,708 --> 00:39:48,750 [gasps] The stripper's here! 955 00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:50,792 [frat bros cheering] 956 00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:54,375 Uh, wanna go up to my room instead? 957 00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:55,958 Yeah. Uh, sure. 958 00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,167 [Reggie] Alright, cool. 959 00:39:58,375 --> 00:40:01,250 Alright, Jess, it's time to get freaky. Time to get freaky for a prom date. 960 00:40:01,333 --> 00:40:02,417 [slap smacks] 961 00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:03,958 I feel like a woman in STEM right now. 962 00:40:04,042 --> 00:40:05,917 Fucking sisters doin' it for themselves. 963 00:40:06,417 --> 00:40:07,417 Okay. 964 00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:09,833 [keypad clacking] 965 00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:17,125 [cellphone clicks] 966 00:40:17,208 --> 00:40:20,000 [muffled excited chatter] 967 00:40:23,167 --> 00:40:25,125 -[door opens] -[bros chattering] 968 00:40:25,208 --> 00:40:26,333 [Hannah] Jesus. 969 00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:28,292 Uh, s-sorry. Guess I'll just-- 970 00:40:28,375 --> 00:40:32,000 Um, can I-- Can-- [grunts] 971 00:40:32,792 --> 00:40:33,792 Fuck. 972 00:40:36,792 --> 00:40:38,833 Alright, listen up, boys! 973 00:40:38,917 --> 00:40:40,042 This is Lexi. 974 00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:41,125 [frat bro] Hi. 975 00:40:41,208 --> 00:40:43,792 Uh, tip well and be respectful 'cause she's a dancer 976 00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,208 from the only company that hasn't blacklisted our frat yet. 977 00:40:46,292 --> 00:40:47,792 [frat bros cheering] 978 00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:49,708 Oh, thanks. 979 00:40:49,792 --> 00:40:52,125 [♪ "So What" by Stella Mwangi playing] 980 00:40:52,208 --> 00:40:54,875 [bros gasping, chattering] 981 00:40:54,958 --> 00:40:56,417 ♪♪ 982 00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:57,833 Oh, sh-- Okay. 983 00:40:57,917 --> 00:40:59,000 Oh, my God. Um... 984 00:40:59,083 --> 00:41:00,083 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 985 00:41:00,167 --> 00:41:02,500 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 986 00:41:02,583 --> 00:41:04,375 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 987 00:41:04,458 --> 00:41:06,917 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 988 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,292 ♪ Clock, tick tock... ♪ 989 00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:09,500 Wow. [chuckles] 990 00:41:10,792 --> 00:41:12,000 You're quite the athlete. 991 00:41:12,333 --> 00:41:13,417 Thanks. 992 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,250 I know, my coach says one more concussion 993 00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:16,542 and I'll have to learn to read again. 994 00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:18,000 Oh, that's awful. 995 00:41:18,083 --> 00:41:19,125 I know. 996 00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:21,000 It was so hard the first time. 997 00:41:21,708 --> 00:41:22,833 [Reggie sighs] 998 00:41:22,917 --> 00:41:24,375 Wanna come sit? 999 00:41:24,458 --> 00:41:27,000 I actually need a little help with something. 1000 00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:29,042 Yes. 1001 00:41:29,458 --> 00:41:31,250 -Just sitting on your bed. -[Reggie chuckles] 1002 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,125 -[Jess clears throat] -Okay. Uh... 1003 00:41:35,625 --> 00:41:38,500 [papers rustling] 1004 00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:43,542 Sorry, they're here somewhere. 1005 00:41:43,625 --> 00:41:46,208 Oh, no, take your time. Protection is key. 1006 00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:49,833 ♪ What you want? ♪ 1007 00:41:49,917 --> 00:41:51,292 ♪ He can speak, but you know... ♪ 1008 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:54,083 Um, my bubbe gave me this hundred dollars for graduating. Just-- 1009 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:56,042 Aren't you generous? 1010 00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:58,208 [frat bros] [chanting] Boobies! Boobies! 1011 00:41:58,292 --> 00:42:01,167 Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 1012 00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:03,500 Boobies! Boobies! 1013 00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:07,708 [muffled] Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 1014 00:42:07,792 --> 00:42:10,083 There they are. [chuckles] 1015 00:42:10,750 --> 00:42:12,500 -Let's go. -I'm ready. 1016 00:42:13,583 --> 00:42:14,583 What? 1017 00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:17,500 I wanted your help to write an email to my mom. 1018 00:42:18,167 --> 00:42:19,583 -What? -All the concussions make me 1019 00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,125 super sensitive to light. 1020 00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,208 Did I say that already? 1021 00:42:22,292 --> 00:42:24,833 I-I can't look at a screen for more than 10 minutes. 1022 00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,417 Oh. Yeah, no. Uh... 1023 00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,792 [chuckles] That's-- I, I just thought... [clears throat] 1024 00:42:29,875 --> 00:42:31,625 [Reggie] Uh, I mean... 1025 00:42:31,708 --> 00:42:33,250 [muffled chanting continues] 1026 00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,583 ...we can do it if you want. 1027 00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:37,917 Um, actually, uh, I-I was just, I was gonna see 1028 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,333 if you wanted to go to prom? 1029 00:42:39,417 --> 00:42:42,000 Wait, you want to go to prom with me? I'd love to. 1030 00:42:42,083 --> 00:42:43,625 [frat bros] Boobies! Boobies! 1031 00:42:43,708 --> 00:42:45,625 Boobies! Boobies! 1032 00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:46,875 Will you go to prom with me? 1033 00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:48,375 What was that, sweetheart? 1034 00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:49,958 [frat bros] Boobies! Boobies! 1035 00:42:50,042 --> 00:42:51,583 Boobies! Boobies! 1036 00:42:51,667 --> 00:42:53,375 -[trophies rattling] -Boobies! Boobies! 1037 00:42:53,458 --> 00:42:54,458 Are you serious? 1038 00:42:54,542 --> 00:42:56,792 Yeah. We'll have the best night of our lives. 1039 00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:57,958 [trophy clanks] 1040 00:42:58,042 --> 00:42:59,042 [Jess groans] 1041 00:42:59,542 --> 00:43:00,542 Reggie? 1042 00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:02,125 Boobies! Boobies! 1043 00:43:02,208 --> 00:43:05,333 I get the feeling that you boys want me 1044 00:43:05,417 --> 00:43:06,417 to take my top off. 1045 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:08,458 [frat bros] Yeah! 1046 00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:10,917 No, no, no, no, no. That's okay. You really don't have to do that. 1047 00:43:11,625 --> 00:43:13,750 [bros gasping, chuckling] 1048 00:43:13,833 --> 00:43:17,208 [excited chatter] 1049 00:43:17,292 --> 00:43:19,500 [bros whooping, chattering] 1050 00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:21,333 [♪ "So What" continues playing] 1051 00:43:21,417 --> 00:43:22,583 ♪ Clock, ding dong ♪ 1052 00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:25,458 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 1053 00:43:25,542 --> 00:43:29,708 [♪ operatic music playing] 1054 00:43:53,792 --> 00:43:56,542 [echoing] I don't feel so good. 1055 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:01,708 [distorted] [echoing] What? 1056 00:44:02,542 --> 00:44:04,375 [distorted] [echoing] I said... 1057 00:44:05,333 --> 00:44:09,292 I don't feel so... 1058 00:44:09,792 --> 00:44:11,292 -[items clatter] -[frat bros] Oh! 1059 00:44:11,667 --> 00:44:12,667 Reggie? 1060 00:44:14,042 --> 00:44:16,417 [gasping breaths] Help! Help! 1061 00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:17,833 [♪ "So What" continues playing] 1062 00:44:17,917 --> 00:44:19,542 ♪ B ut you know I'm hangin' up the phone ♪ 1063 00:44:19,625 --> 00:44:21,750 ♪ And if I really gotta do it on my own ♪ 1064 00:44:21,833 --> 00:44:24,583 ♪ I tell him so what, I'm better off alone ♪ 1065 00:44:24,667 --> 00:44:26,250 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 1066 00:44:26,333 --> 00:44:27,667 Are you okay, sweetie? 1067 00:44:28,792 --> 00:44:30,375 -[Hannah sneezes] -[frat bros] Oh! 1068 00:44:30,458 --> 00:44:31,750 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 1069 00:44:31,833 --> 00:44:34,125 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 1070 00:44:34,208 --> 00:44:35,417 [gags] Oh, my God. 1071 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,125 [Lexi heaving] 1072 00:44:38,208 --> 00:44:39,375 -[retches] -[vomit splashes] 1073 00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:40,667 [frat bros groan] 1074 00:44:41,083 --> 00:44:42,083 [gasps] 1075 00:44:42,667 --> 00:44:45,167 No. No, no, no. No. 1076 00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:47,708 You're gonna get us blacklisted. 1077 00:44:48,458 --> 00:44:49,792 [Hannah retches] 1078 00:44:49,875 --> 00:44:52,583 -[yelps] Oh! -I'm so sorry. 1079 00:44:54,458 --> 00:44:56,083 [groans] 1080 00:44:58,292 --> 00:45:00,250 -Jess? -[Jess] [muffled] Help! 1081 00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:01,417 -Jess? -[muffled] Hannah! 1082 00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:02,833 Jess! I hear you! 1083 00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,333 -Jess? -Hannah, I'm over here! 1084 00:45:04,792 --> 00:45:05,917 [Reggie groans] 1085 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,042 -Oh, my God. -[Reggie groans] 1086 00:45:07,125 --> 00:45:08,208 Oh, I thought you were dead. 1087 00:45:09,333 --> 00:45:10,833 -[Jess sighs] -What happened? 1088 00:45:10,917 --> 00:45:12,000 [door bangs open] 1089 00:45:12,083 --> 00:45:13,500 -Oh, my God! -[Jess] Hannah! 1090 00:45:13,583 --> 00:45:14,875 Get off my best friend, you creep! 1091 00:45:14,958 --> 00:45:16,125 -[mug shatters] -[Jess screams] 1092 00:45:16,708 --> 00:45:17,750 I saved you. 1093 00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:20,500 No, you idiot, he was gonna go to prom with me! 1094 00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,083 Why were you screaming for help? 1095 00:45:22,167 --> 00:45:23,917 -Are you bleeding? -Yes! We need to leave. 1096 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,125 -Like, now! -Okay, okay, okay. 1097 00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:26,417 -Just get him off of me. -Okay! 1098 00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:28,375 [Hannah grunts] 1099 00:45:28,458 --> 00:45:29,792 Pardon me. [grunts] 1100 00:45:29,875 --> 00:45:30,875 -Oh, my foot, my foot. -Okay. 1101 00:45:30,958 --> 00:45:32,000 No, I got you. I got you. 1102 00:45:32,083 --> 00:45:33,083 -Come here. -Okay. 1103 00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:34,458 -Yep. Pull, just pull. -[grunts] Ah! 1104 00:45:34,542 --> 00:45:35,792 [Hannah] [grunts] My God! 1105 00:45:35,875 --> 00:45:37,000 You don't need to scream. 1106 00:45:37,417 --> 00:45:38,875 -Okay, let's go. Come on. -Okay. 1107 00:45:38,958 --> 00:45:40,292 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1108 00:45:40,875 --> 00:45:41,917 One second. [pants] 1109 00:45:42,458 --> 00:45:45,500 [♪ "So What" continues playing, muffled] 1110 00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,542 -[camera clicks] -Hey, can you get a landscape of us-- 1111 00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:49,417 -Are you fucking kidding me? -Okay, okay, okay, okay! 1112 00:45:49,500 --> 00:45:50,500 [door slams shut] 1113 00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:52,833 Oh, my God, I was so close. 1114 00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:54,083 What happened back there? 1115 00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:55,833 Well, let me think. 1116 00:45:55,917 --> 00:46:00,375 Um, you ditched me for a man with the IQ of a ham sandwich, 1117 00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:04,208 and then I sneezed blood all over a beautiful woman, so... 1118 00:46:04,292 --> 00:46:05,292 [mouths] Fuck. 1119 00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:07,083 You know what, I'm just-- 1120 00:46:08,792 --> 00:46:11,708 This night is over, and I'm just, I'm gonna go home. 1121 00:46:14,333 --> 00:46:15,708 Where are my keys? 1122 00:46:17,667 --> 00:46:19,250 Where the fuck are my-- 1123 00:46:19,333 --> 00:46:20,333 Fuck! 1124 00:46:20,917 --> 00:46:23,375 Oh, my God, I left them at Heather's after doing that bump. 1125 00:46:23,458 --> 00:46:24,667 -Hannah. It's okay. -[Hannah groans] 1126 00:46:24,750 --> 00:46:26,417 We're just gonna find another party really quick, 1127 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:28,417 I'm gonna grab a date, and then boom, we're out of there. 1128 00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:29,958 What the fuck are you talking about? 1129 00:46:30,042 --> 00:46:33,500 I fucked my face, Jess. It's over. 1130 00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:35,083 -Hannah, come on, let's just-- -No, no. 1131 00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:36,750 We're meeting up with Jacob to grab his keys. 1132 00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:39,708 And then you can do whatever you want, okay? 1133 00:46:39,792 --> 00:46:41,625 Wait. Wait, you're calling Jacob? 1134 00:46:41,708 --> 00:46:43,208 [line ringing] 1135 00:46:43,292 --> 00:46:45,042 [♪ "By Your Side" by Go Betty Go playing] 1136 00:46:45,125 --> 00:46:46,792 ♪ You had your chance, now set me free ♪ 1137 00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:49,750 ♪ There's nothing left, I've got to leave ♪ 1138 00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:52,417 ♪ And now when you reach out, you'll see ♪ 1139 00:46:52,500 --> 00:46:56,167 -♪ I won't be by your side ♪ -[crowd] [chanting] Chug! Chug! Chug! 1140 00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:57,875 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 1141 00:46:57,958 --> 00:47:00,917 -♪ I can't be by your side ♪ -[crowd cheers] 1142 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,125 [Greg] That's something that you gotta learn as a young person. 1143 00:47:03,208 --> 00:47:05,125 But they told me that my cartilage is too weak 1144 00:47:05,208 --> 00:47:06,500 to handle a punch. 1145 00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:09,458 Oh, speaking of fighting, I actually asked Mr. Sanchez 1146 00:47:09,542 --> 00:47:12,167 to pair me and Hannah up in the self-defense class. 1147 00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:14,500 Little did I know she has a mean right hook. 1148 00:47:14,583 --> 00:47:16,375 Knocked me clean out. Concussed. 1149 00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:17,542 Never been the same. 1150 00:47:17,625 --> 00:47:20,375 But she actually carried me to the nurse's office, 1151 00:47:20,458 --> 00:47:21,542 and that was that. 1152 00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,417 That's when I knew she was the one for me. 1153 00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,375 I actually still have that gym shirt with the blood on it. 1154 00:47:27,458 --> 00:47:29,333 -Yeah, I never washed it. -Wow. 1155 00:47:29,417 --> 00:47:30,875 Never will wash it, actually. 1156 00:47:30,958 --> 00:47:33,250 -Yeah. -Wow, that-that is crazy. 1157 00:47:33,792 --> 00:47:37,667 Hey, um, why don't you go grab us some drinks from the bar? 1158 00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,083 -Huh? -Oh, no problemo, Jakey. 1159 00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:44,375 You know, it's bonkers that it's taken us this long to hang out one on one. 1160 00:47:44,458 --> 00:47:46,667 We have such great chemistry. 1161 00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,375 [Jacob] Okay. 1162 00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,208 -♪ By your side! ♪ -[cellphone buzzing] 1163 00:47:50,292 --> 00:47:52,208 -Hannah. -Yo. Where are you on campus? 1164 00:47:52,292 --> 00:47:53,500 I need to borrow your keys. 1165 00:47:53,583 --> 00:47:55,042 Hannah, let's just, like, ring the doorbell 1166 00:47:55,125 --> 00:47:56,125 until your parents wake up. 1167 00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:57,667 Richardson and Wyckoff. Okay. 1168 00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,750 Yeah, we're, like, 10 minutes' walk from there. 1169 00:48:00,708 --> 00:48:02,000 Okay. [sighs] 1170 00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,208 Yeah, I'm with her right now. Why? 1171 00:48:04,667 --> 00:48:06,042 -What the fuck? -[water splashes] 1172 00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:07,542 Hello? 1173 00:48:08,333 --> 00:48:09,458 Hannah, can-- 1174 00:48:11,250 --> 00:48:12,333 Okay. 1175 00:48:12,417 --> 00:48:13,417 I'm sorry. 1176 00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:16,292 If that was some ploy to try and get me 1177 00:48:16,375 --> 00:48:17,708 -to stay out with you... -No. 1178 00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:19,958 ...know it extremely isn't working! 1179 00:48:20,042 --> 00:48:21,833 I'm sorry, I thought he was gonna say something. 1180 00:48:21,917 --> 00:48:23,167 What are you talking about? 1181 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,375 I had sex with Jacob. 1182 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:29,542 When? 1183 00:48:30,042 --> 00:48:31,667 When we visited him in January. 1184 00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:34,917 No, that's when you had your one-night stand with Johan. 1185 00:48:35,625 --> 00:48:36,625 S-- 1186 00:48:37,750 --> 00:48:39,917 -Johan is Jacob? -I-- [sighs] 1187 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,542 [speaker 1] Thanks for making our two-year anniversary so special. 1188 00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:43,625 -Boo-boo. -[both laugh] 1189 00:48:43,708 --> 00:48:45,417 -[Hannah] No, you didn't. -The night's not over yet. 1190 00:48:45,500 --> 00:48:47,333 -[Jess] Yes, I did. Hannah. -Why don't you make a wish? 1191 00:48:47,417 --> 00:48:48,875 -[laughs] -[Hannah/Jess continue arguing] 1192 00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:51,083 -Okay, I'll make a wish. Okay. -Throw it in there. 1193 00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:53,208 -[water splashes] -Oh, my God! 1194 00:48:53,292 --> 00:48:54,708 [Jess] I-I didn't know what else to do. 1195 00:48:54,792 --> 00:48:58,208 I didn't wanna lie to my best friend about doing it for the first time, 1196 00:48:58,292 --> 00:48:59,958 but then I knew I couldn't tell you it was Jacob 1197 00:49:00,042 --> 00:49:01,125 'cause then you'd get upset. 1198 00:49:01,208 --> 00:49:03,042 Yeah? Well, 'cause we, you know, 1199 00:49:03,125 --> 00:49:05,000 talked in graphic detail about that night. 1200 00:49:05,083 --> 00:49:08,125 And I literally hyped you up about riding the D. 1201 00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:13,000 And now you're telling me the D you rode was my-- Uh. 1202 00:49:14,708 --> 00:49:16,125 [Hannah groans, heaves] 1203 00:49:16,208 --> 00:49:17,417 -[retches] -[vomit splashes] 1204 00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,292 -Oh, God. -[Jess] I think I-I might have 1205 00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:20,667 genuine feelings for-- 1206 00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:23,083 I kissed my cousin 'cause of you, 1207 00:49:23,167 --> 00:49:25,417 you fucking brother fucker! 1208 00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,042 -You kissed your what? -[Hannah groans] 1209 00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:28,458 [speaker 2] She kissed her cousin? 1210 00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:30,167 -I saw a show about this. -[Hannah heaves] 1211 00:49:30,250 --> 00:49:31,458 -[Hannah retches] -[vomit splashes] 1212 00:49:31,542 --> 00:49:32,583 [speaker 1] Oh, God. 1213 00:49:32,667 --> 00:49:34,375 Oh, God. Let's just find a different fountain. 1214 00:49:34,458 --> 00:49:36,208 -[speaker 2] That was my last quarter. -[Hannah] Oh! 1215 00:49:36,292 --> 00:49:37,625 [speaker 1] Oh, God. No, no. 1216 00:49:37,708 --> 00:49:39,083 [Hannah] Oh, my God. 1217 00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:41,875 You're a horrible friend. 1218 00:49:41,958 --> 00:49:44,250 This whole shitty night only happened 1219 00:49:44,333 --> 00:49:46,750 'cause you're obsessed with having the perfect prom night. 1220 00:49:46,833 --> 00:49:49,667 -You wanted to find a date too. -Okay. 1221 00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:51,625 If it was that bad, you could have just left. 1222 00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:53,500 And abandoned you in a frat house? 1223 00:49:53,583 --> 00:49:56,000 When have I ever left your side? 1224 00:49:56,083 --> 00:49:58,708 I cannot believe I let you drag me out 1225 00:49:58,792 --> 00:50:00,625 for the gay prom of my dreams. 1226 00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:03,292 Of course, this was always about you. 1227 00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:05,000 -Okay. -Do you realize everything is 1228 00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:06,208 always about you? 1229 00:50:06,292 --> 00:50:07,667 [Jess] If I hadn't convinced you to come, 1230 00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:09,333 you would've been crawling right back to Greg 1231 00:50:09,417 --> 00:50:11,458 and you would have acted like nothing happened, 1232 00:50:11,542 --> 00:50:14,542 that everything was okay, like you always do. 1233 00:50:14,625 --> 00:50:17,500 I'm, actually-- I'm being a super-ally right now. 1234 00:50:17,583 --> 00:50:18,875 Do not act like you understand 1235 00:50:18,958 --> 00:50:21,042 the pressures of coming out 'cause you really don't! 1236 00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:23,708 [speaker 2] Oh, so sorry, would you mind keeping it down a little? 1237 00:50:23,792 --> 00:50:26,167 We support whatever's going on between the two of you, but we're trying-- 1238 00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:27,583 -I'll fucking kill you! -Don't you fucking 1239 00:50:27,667 --> 00:50:28,667 interrupt my best friend! 1240 00:50:28,750 --> 00:50:29,750 -Okay, Jesus Christ. -Okay. 1241 00:50:29,833 --> 00:50:32,750 Really romantic to have a moment at a fucking fountain at a college! 1242 00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:34,250 -Okay, have a good night. Thank you. -Wow! 1243 00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:35,417 -Wow! -[speaker 1] Wow. 1244 00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:36,583 -Wow! -Wow! 1245 00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:37,875 -Hon. Hon! -Wow! 1246 00:50:39,167 --> 00:50:40,833 [Hannah] Hope your wish doesn't come true! 1247 00:50:40,917 --> 00:50:43,583 [speaker 1] Well, it did come true! It was to have your face fucked up! 1248 00:50:43,917 --> 00:50:44,958 [Jess] Hannah 1249 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:48,250 [cellphone buzzing] 1250 00:50:48,333 --> 00:50:50,083 There is no way you're taking that phone call 1251 00:50:50,167 --> 00:50:51,458 instead of finishing this with me. 1252 00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,458 [Jess] I won't have a shot at prom queen without him. 1253 00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:56,542 Are you serious? 1254 00:50:56,625 --> 00:50:59,292 -[Hannah scoffs] -[cellphone continues buzzing] 1255 00:50:59,375 --> 00:51:00,375 Hannah! 1256 00:51:00,875 --> 00:51:02,917 -[cellphone continues buzzing] -Fucking-- 1257 00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,542 [sighs] 1258 00:51:05,625 --> 00:51:08,458 [♪ somber music playing] 1259 00:51:09,542 --> 00:51:10,542 What do you want? 1260 00:51:10,625 --> 00:51:13,250 [Luca] [over phone] So, who's the cool guy in the picture that you posted? 1261 00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:14,333 Why do you care? 1262 00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:17,125 [over phone] You seemed to have your hands pretty full when I came by earlier. 1263 00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,000 Jess, I'm sorry. Come on. 1264 00:51:19,083 --> 00:51:21,042 I made a mistake. She doesn't mean anything to me. 1265 00:51:21,125 --> 00:51:23,667 And FYI, she tried to get me to take her to prom 1266 00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:24,833 and I said no. 1267 00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:27,333 -You are the one I want to go with. -[sighs] 1268 00:51:27,792 --> 00:51:29,417 Yeah, well, Hannah and I, we're actually 1269 00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,333 at this really cool warehouse show at Rutgers, 1270 00:51:31,417 --> 00:51:32,583 so I got to go. 1271 00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:37,833 [indistinct chatter] 1272 00:51:38,833 --> 00:51:42,083 Alright, your Shirley Temple and virgin screwdriver. 1273 00:51:42,583 --> 00:51:44,125 Thank you kindly, bartender. 1274 00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,000 And-And might I add, I am very surprised 1275 00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:48,375 that your guys don't ask for ID at this establishment. 1276 00:51:48,917 --> 00:51:50,125 I'm 16. 1277 00:51:50,208 --> 00:51:54,167 -[♪ rock music playing on speakers] -[patrons chattering] 1278 00:52:02,042 --> 00:52:03,042 Whiskey ginger ale. 1279 00:52:03,125 --> 00:52:04,792 I don't serve minors. 1280 00:52:06,417 --> 00:52:07,583 Can I just sit here? 1281 00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,042 [vocalist] [over microphone] Alright, for this next song, 1282 00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:13,292 we got a very special guest. 1283 00:52:13,375 --> 00:52:16,583 Give it up for Angie Adams! 1284 00:52:16,667 --> 00:52:20,417 [crowd cheers and applauds] 1285 00:52:21,292 --> 00:52:23,000 One, two, three, four! 1286 00:52:23,083 --> 00:52:27,500 [♪ lively rock music playing] 1287 00:52:28,792 --> 00:52:29,833 Hannah? 1288 00:52:34,292 --> 00:52:35,917 -[Jess groans] -[speaker] Watch it! 1289 00:52:36,333 --> 00:52:38,708 -Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I-- -No, no, no, it's no problem. 1290 00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:40,917 -Hi. -Hi. 1291 00:52:41,333 --> 00:52:44,083 Uh, have you, have you seen Hannah? 1292 00:52:44,167 --> 00:52:45,875 No. Why? Is everything okay? 1293 00:52:45,958 --> 00:52:49,792 Yeah, no, I just, uh, I told her that we did it. 1294 00:52:51,417 --> 00:52:53,542 Shit. Um, okay. 1295 00:52:53,625 --> 00:52:54,667 How did she take it? 1296 00:52:55,083 --> 00:52:58,583 She... she threw up in a fountain and then she ran away. 1297 00:52:59,375 --> 00:53:00,375 Better than I expected. 1298 00:53:00,458 --> 00:53:02,417 -[chuckles] -Hey, I'm really sorry, 1299 00:53:02,500 --> 00:53:03,958 that car ride was super awkward. 1300 00:53:04,042 --> 00:53:05,375 I'm sure that your boyfriend is great 1301 00:53:05,458 --> 00:53:07,417 and I hope that you guys are really happy together. 1302 00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,667 -Truly, I-- -Uh, actually, he cheated on me. 1303 00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,083 That fucker. We should kill him. 1304 00:53:13,167 --> 00:53:14,333 -[Jess laughs] -Right? 1305 00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:18,292 Uh, hey, do you maybe wanna go sit and talk for a minute? 1306 00:53:19,042 --> 00:53:20,625 Uh, yeah. 1307 00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:22,042 -Okay. -Okay. 1308 00:53:22,583 --> 00:53:24,958 [vocalist] [singing] ♪ You tear it down, whoa-oh ♪ 1309 00:53:25,042 --> 00:53:26,208 ♪ And I'll ♪ 1310 00:53:26,292 --> 00:53:27,292 Jacob? 1311 00:53:27,375 --> 00:53:28,958 [vocalist] ♪ Never make a sound ♪ 1312 00:53:29,042 --> 00:53:32,292 [crowd cheering] 1313 00:53:34,958 --> 00:53:38,125 [♪ upbeat music playing] 1314 00:53:42,542 --> 00:53:43,542 Hannah? 1315 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,667 A-Angie. 1316 00:53:47,583 --> 00:53:48,833 What are you doing here? 1317 00:53:48,917 --> 00:53:51,167 My sister's crashing here. She invited me to play a little bit. 1318 00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,750 What are-- what are you doing here? 1319 00:53:52,833 --> 00:53:54,917 I came to grab house keys from my brother. 1320 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,167 I've... I've had kind of a rough night. 1321 00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:00,833 Yeah, I can see that. What happened? 1322 00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:04,333 I had the good fortune of seeing someone's boobs for the first time... 1323 00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:05,417 [chuckles] 1324 00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:07,625 ...and then I promptly sneezed blood on them. 1325 00:54:07,708 --> 00:54:09,542 [chuckles] Are you serious? 1326 00:54:10,417 --> 00:54:11,833 That's incredible. 1327 00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:14,500 Start at the beginning. I need to know everything. 1328 00:54:17,375 --> 00:54:19,500 I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed 1329 00:54:19,583 --> 00:54:21,833 to drop the ball on two potential prom dates. 1330 00:54:21,917 --> 00:54:23,125 That's... 1331 00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:26,000 Yeah, okay, well, your sister smashing a glass 1332 00:54:26,083 --> 00:54:27,708 over the head of one of them didn't help. 1333 00:54:28,083 --> 00:54:32,042 Yeah. Yeah, taking down frat bros: the lesbian agenda. 1334 00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:33,292 [both chuckle] 1335 00:54:33,375 --> 00:54:35,875 What? What are you talking about? 1336 00:54:35,958 --> 00:54:37,792 Oh, my God, Jess, come on. She's my sister. 1337 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,417 You think I don't know she's gay? 1338 00:54:40,042 --> 00:54:43,083 I've caught her trying to leave the house in my jorts, like, 30 times. 1339 00:54:45,792 --> 00:54:46,833 Can I ask you something? 1340 00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:50,958 Why do you care so much about finding a prom date? 1341 00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:55,917 I guess, uh... [sighs] 1342 00:54:56,542 --> 00:54:59,250 going alone is kind of like admitting 1343 00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:00,917 that no one wanted to go with you. 1344 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:05,042 But going with someone popular means I've made it. 1345 00:55:05,458 --> 00:55:06,833 [Greg] Oh, there you are. 1346 00:55:06,917 --> 00:55:09,000 You can't leave me like that, Dad-- I mean, Jake. 1347 00:55:09,083 --> 00:55:11,042 [sighs] You know I have abandon-- 1348 00:55:11,458 --> 00:55:12,792 Oh, my God! 1349 00:55:12,875 --> 00:55:13,875 If you're here... 1350 00:55:13,958 --> 00:55:15,250 -[Jess] No. -...I gotta go get my girl. 1351 00:55:15,333 --> 00:55:16,333 -[Jacob] Wait. -[Jess] No, no, no. 1352 00:55:16,417 --> 00:55:18,292 [Jacob] Um, I'm gonna go grab him. Go find Hannah. 1353 00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:20,125 -[Jess] Okay. -Hannah? Excuse me, sorry. 1354 00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:21,875 Hannah! Sorry, guys. 1355 00:55:21,958 --> 00:55:23,042 Hannah, where-- 1356 00:55:23,125 --> 00:55:24,458 -Hannah! -Jess. 1357 00:55:24,542 --> 00:55:25,750 Luca. 1358 00:55:25,833 --> 00:55:28,042 [♪ "It Haunts You Now" by Go Betty Go playing] 1359 00:55:28,125 --> 00:55:29,542 [crowd cheering] 1360 00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:34,708 [vocalist] [singing] ♪ Takin' all the places where you've been... ♪ 1361 00:55:34,792 --> 00:55:37,000 [Angie] So your first time seeing boobs 1362 00:55:37,083 --> 00:55:39,125 was in front of 25 frat bros? 1363 00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:40,625 That's not how it goes for everyone? 1364 00:55:40,708 --> 00:55:41,875 Well, I mean... 1365 00:55:41,958 --> 00:55:42,958 Um, I just, I-- 1366 00:55:43,042 --> 00:55:44,750 I don't know, I feel like you've never done anything 1367 00:55:44,833 --> 00:55:45,833 half as embarrassing. 1368 00:55:45,917 --> 00:55:47,833 Hey, don't let my fat ass 1369 00:55:47,917 --> 00:55:49,292 and perfect personality fool you. 1370 00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:52,042 I went to circus camp until I was 15. 1371 00:55:52,125 --> 00:55:53,458 You're lying. 1372 00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:56,333 Whoa! 1373 00:55:56,417 --> 00:55:57,583 [both laugh] 1374 00:55:58,167 --> 00:55:59,667 -Yeah. -I have a feeling you use 1375 00:55:59,750 --> 00:56:01,333 that trick on all the girls. 1376 00:56:01,417 --> 00:56:04,417 Not on all the girls. Just the ones I'm trying to kiss. 1377 00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:09,750 Okay, I gotta ask. 1378 00:56:09,833 --> 00:56:12,333 Where is the student council kid you're always with? 1379 00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:13,833 Greg? 1380 00:56:13,917 --> 00:56:15,250 Oh, I broke up with him. 1381 00:56:15,833 --> 00:56:16,917 Yeah, I'm a lesbian. 1382 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583 Well, I can't imagine those clothes are really comfortable. 1383 00:56:21,667 --> 00:56:23,292 Should we go up to my sister's room 1384 00:56:23,375 --> 00:56:25,042 to find you something else? 1385 00:56:25,917 --> 00:56:26,917 Yeah, sure. 1386 00:56:29,417 --> 00:56:32,958 ♪ You're faking all the friends that you made ♪ 1387 00:56:33,333 --> 00:56:36,083 ♪ Simply filling an empty place... ♪ 1388 00:56:36,583 --> 00:56:39,125 [Greg] Please, please, please? 1389 00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:42,208 Has anyone seen a girl named Hannah? 1390 00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:47,083 She's 5'5" and the most perfect angel in the world! Please! 1391 00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:49,667 -I don't have time for this. - Oh, Jess, I fucked up one time. 1392 00:56:49,750 --> 00:56:51,667 It's really over because I made one mistake? 1393 00:56:51,750 --> 00:56:53,708 You never treated me properly, Luca. 1394 00:56:53,792 --> 00:56:55,250 I did a lot of things wrong. 1395 00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:56,750 I should have introduced you to my parents. 1396 00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,417 I was confused. But I'm not anymore. 1397 00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:00,792 -It's too late. -Come on. I swear I can make things right. 1398 00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:02,333 I want to go to prom together. 1399 00:57:02,917 --> 00:57:04,333 Like together-together. 1400 00:57:04,417 --> 00:57:07,083 Prom king and prom queen. 1401 00:57:09,458 --> 00:57:13,208 [♪ "It Haunts You Now" continues playing] 1402 00:57:14,333 --> 00:57:15,583 [♪ music gets muffled] 1403 00:57:15,667 --> 00:57:17,792 So, you can, um, 1404 00:57:18,167 --> 00:57:21,417 -put... this on? -[Hannah] Amazing. 1405 00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,708 Or we can both take our shirts off. 1406 00:57:24,833 --> 00:57:26,333 I would like to do that. 1407 00:57:26,417 --> 00:57:27,417 Yeah. 1408 00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,708 -[Hannah grunts] -[Angie chuckles] 1409 00:57:34,375 --> 00:57:37,125 [kisses smacking] 1410 00:57:41,292 --> 00:57:44,167 [moaning, panting] 1411 00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:47,000 Um... wait, sorry. 1412 00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:50,250 Not to be, like, so deeply corny, 1413 00:57:50,333 --> 00:57:53,708 but will you go to prom with me? 1414 00:57:53,792 --> 00:57:56,208 [chuckles] Yeah. 1415 00:57:56,292 --> 00:57:58,958 [kisses smacking] 1416 00:58:00,167 --> 00:58:02,083 -Is it okay if I undo your-- - Yeah, yeah, of course. 1417 00:58:04,917 --> 00:58:05,917 Wait, wait. 1418 00:58:06,542 --> 00:58:08,750 Your real last name is Adams, right? 1419 00:58:08,833 --> 00:58:10,083 Yeah, why? 1420 00:58:10,167 --> 00:58:12,667 Yeah, no, no, nothing, just... just keep going. 1421 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:13,750 [softly] Okay. 1422 00:58:15,208 --> 00:58:16,208 [Hannah gasps] 1423 00:58:16,292 --> 00:58:19,417 [Hannah moaning] 1424 00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:25,333 This is the best night of my life. 1425 00:58:26,708 --> 00:58:28,458 [kisses smacking] 1426 00:58:28,542 --> 00:58:30,167 [door opens] 1427 00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:31,917 -Hannah? -Greg! 1428 00:58:32,458 --> 00:58:34,917 What are you doing? I've been looking for you all night. 1429 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:37,167 -I thought you guys broke up? -We did break up. 1430 00:58:37,250 --> 00:58:40,833 No, I told you I changed colleges for you, and then you ran out of my house. 1431 00:58:40,917 --> 00:58:42,625 Yeah, that's a breakup. 1432 00:58:43,167 --> 00:58:44,292 What? 1433 00:58:44,375 --> 00:58:46,375 Hannah, how-how could you do this to me? 1434 00:58:46,458 --> 00:58:47,625 I'm in love with you. 1435 00:58:47,708 --> 00:58:49,667 Because I'm gay, Greg! 1436 00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:51,292 And I've always been gay. 1437 00:58:51,375 --> 00:58:54,167 And I, I was too afraid to say it before, 1438 00:58:54,250 --> 00:58:56,542 but I'm not afraid now. 1439 00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:59,792 So I'm sorry, but it's over. 1440 00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:03,375 So our relationship was a lie? 1441 00:59:10,292 --> 00:59:12,000 Ugh, gross. 1442 00:59:12,083 --> 00:59:14,458 [Hannah] No, Angie. No, uh, I can explain! 1443 00:59:14,958 --> 00:59:16,417 I want you to be my girlfriend. 1444 00:59:16,708 --> 00:59:19,208 Dude, she doesn't want you here. Okay? Why don't you just go home? 1445 00:59:19,292 --> 00:59:20,792 [laughs] Who the fuck are you, tall boy? 1446 00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:22,292 -[Jess] Guys, please. -I'm average height. 1447 00:59:22,375 --> 00:59:24,250 -What are you talking about? -Geez, look at this sweater. 1448 00:59:24,333 --> 00:59:26,417 -You get this at a garage sale? -What are you, a Formula 1 racer? 1449 00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:27,500 What are you talking about? 1450 00:59:27,583 --> 00:59:29,042 -What the fuck? -Judging me what I'm wearing? 1451 00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:30,250 -[Jess] Guys. -Eat fist, bitch! 1452 00:59:30,333 --> 00:59:31,750 -[punch thuds] -Get the fuck off of him! 1453 00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:34,208 Hannah! Hannah, stop, you're gonna make things worse! 1454 00:59:34,292 --> 00:59:35,375 Yeah, you tell her, babe! 1455 00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:36,917 I'm not afraid to hit a girl. 1456 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,083 You just fucking punched him. 1457 00:59:38,167 --> 00:59:39,792 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1458 00:59:39,875 --> 00:59:41,500 I don't do drama. 1459 00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:43,708 I'll wait for you in the car. 1460 00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,292 -[Jacob groans] -Oh, my God. 1461 00:59:48,375 --> 00:59:49,500 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1462 00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:51,083 Yeah. No, it's fine. It's-- 1463 00:59:51,167 --> 00:59:52,208 It's just my face. 1464 00:59:52,292 --> 00:59:53,958 Oh, so now you give a shit? 1465 00:59:54,042 --> 00:59:55,833 Take it easy, alright? She was telling him to leave. 1466 00:59:55,917 --> 00:59:56,958 They're-They're not together. 1467 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,000 Right? 1468 01:00:00,083 --> 01:00:01,667 [Jess] I-I just need him for prom. 1469 01:00:01,750 --> 01:00:02,750 Are you serious? 1470 01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:04,625 -Jacob. -No, it's, it's... 1471 01:00:04,708 --> 01:00:06,292 [Hannah laughs] 1472 01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:08,375 Don't fucking start, Hannah. 1473 01:00:08,458 --> 01:00:12,125 Oh, no, it's just, it's-it's so predictable! 1474 01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:14,000 Of course you were gonna get back together with him. 1475 01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:16,292 -Of course! -Well, I'm not gonna apologize 1476 01:00:16,375 --> 01:00:18,042 for having the confidence to go after what I want. 1477 01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,500 You know, I hate to break it to you, Jess, 1478 01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:22,667 but it's not confidence, it's desperation. 1479 01:00:22,750 --> 01:00:25,542 Desperation? You wanna talk about desperation? 1480 01:00:25,625 --> 01:00:27,917 You're a lesbian who dated a fucking dude for a year. 1481 01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:29,208 Yeah, Jess. 1482 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,833 But at least I didn't treat you like dog shit in the process! 1483 01:00:31,917 --> 01:00:33,333 No. I guess just Greg. 1484 01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:35,958 [Luca] Babe, wrap it up so I can get Taco Bell! 1485 01:00:36,042 --> 01:00:37,458 I'm about to hit my fasting window. 1486 01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:40,125 Tacos and some lovin'! 1487 01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:42,125 You're really gonna let him talk to you like that? 1488 01:00:42,667 --> 01:00:45,292 Just so you have a fucking date tomorrow? 1489 01:00:46,125 --> 01:00:47,167 You're pathetic. 1490 01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:49,500 And you know, the really sad part is that 1491 01:00:49,583 --> 01:00:51,292 you know he doesn't care about you. 1492 01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:53,583 And you still choose him. 1493 01:00:53,667 --> 01:00:56,500 'Cause you're so fucking insecure, 1494 01:00:56,583 --> 01:00:59,708 you'd do anything to make people like you! 1495 01:00:59,792 --> 01:01:01,833 Well, sorry that I'd rather have one perfect night 1496 01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:04,542 than stay an unfuckable reject like you! 1497 01:01:05,917 --> 01:01:06,917 [Hannah scoffs] 1498 01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,167 You know what? 1499 01:01:12,750 --> 01:01:14,250 I'm... [sighs] 1500 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:18,167 I'm tired of you assuming 1501 01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:21,792 you can just treat me however you want 1502 01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:24,333 'cause you know I'll always be there for you. 1503 01:01:25,375 --> 01:01:26,833 Have fun at prom with Luca. 1504 01:01:27,458 --> 01:01:28,708 I'm done. 1505 01:01:30,292 --> 01:01:31,292 Hannah! 1506 01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:40,875 [♪ gentle music playing] 1507 01:01:41,792 --> 01:01:43,792 [birds chirping outside] 1508 01:01:45,750 --> 01:01:47,083 [doorbell chimes] 1509 01:01:51,042 --> 01:01:52,375 [sighs] 1510 01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:01,500 Last night was fucked. I-- 1511 01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:11,458 ♪♪ 1512 01:02:23,208 --> 01:02:24,208 [inhales loudly] 1513 01:02:24,625 --> 01:02:25,625 Holy shit. 1514 01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:27,958 Good afternoon, Hannah. 1515 01:02:28,042 --> 01:02:29,292 How'd you get in here? 1516 01:02:29,375 --> 01:02:30,458 Your mom let us in. 1517 01:02:31,583 --> 01:02:32,583 She gave me a cookie. 1518 01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:34,958 The last cookie she'll ever give me. 1519 01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:36,833 "Us"? 1520 01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:39,208 [Melissa] 'Sup? 1521 01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:42,375 I assume you know my date Melissa, from the softball team? 1522 01:02:42,750 --> 01:02:43,750 Hi. 1523 01:02:43,833 --> 01:02:45,958 Melissa and I have been having a wonderful time so far. 1524 01:02:46,042 --> 01:02:48,375 She helped me get my frisbee from the top of the garage. 1525 01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,125 She helped me dunk my first basketball. 1526 01:02:51,208 --> 01:02:52,333 Lifted me up by the shoulders. 1527 01:02:52,417 --> 01:02:53,542 -[Hannah] Uh-huh. -Put it right in there. 1528 01:02:53,625 --> 01:02:55,125 -Felt like Shaq. -[Hannah] Uh-huh. 1529 01:02:55,208 --> 01:02:58,792 [sniffles] I just can't seem to remember you doing anything like that. 1530 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:03,333 Okay. Um, can I talk to you alone for a minute, please? 1531 01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:14,625 Um... when you told my mom we broke up, you didn't, like, 1532 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,042 tell her I was gay, right? 1533 01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:19,583 Of course not. 1534 01:03:20,042 --> 01:03:22,792 -[sighs deeply] -Hannah, I'm heartbroken, 1535 01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:23,917 I'm not a monster. 1536 01:03:24,292 --> 01:03:26,583 I just came to pick up my car. 1537 01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:28,958 I left it here last night when I went looking for you. 1538 01:03:29,042 --> 01:03:33,750 [sighs] I'm really sorry, Greg. 1539 01:03:33,833 --> 01:03:36,958 Did you know the whole time we were dating? 1540 01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:39,708 Yeah, pretty much. 1541 01:03:42,292 --> 01:03:43,833 I just can't believe it. [scoffs] 1542 01:03:43,917 --> 01:03:46,000 All those weekends watching Rachel and Finn sing 1543 01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:48,083 their hearts out meant nothing to you. 1544 01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,333 You're super fun to hang out with, 1545 01:03:50,417 --> 01:03:53,750 but, like, I can't change who I am. 1546 01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,333 You think I'm upset that you're gay? 1547 01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:58,167 Yes? 1548 01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:00,833 Hannah, I'm upset because you pretended 1549 01:04:00,917 --> 01:04:02,083 to be in love with me. 1550 01:04:03,292 --> 01:04:05,833 My entire senior year revolved around you, 1551 01:04:06,292 --> 01:04:10,250 a-and you were just... using me. 1552 01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:13,625 If you had just told me, 1553 01:04:13,708 --> 01:04:16,167 I would have pretended to be your boyfriend. 1554 01:04:16,250 --> 01:04:18,875 Or if you didn't have the guts to do that, 1555 01:04:19,917 --> 01:04:21,167 you should've dumped me. 1556 01:04:21,792 --> 01:04:23,917 But you could have at least been a decent friend. 1557 01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:28,083 Just so you know, I, uh, I transferred back to Stanford. 1558 01:04:28,167 --> 01:04:32,958 So... you don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore. 1559 01:04:34,292 --> 01:04:35,292 [Hannah sighs] 1560 01:04:35,375 --> 01:04:38,083 [♪ gentle music playing] 1561 01:04:45,125 --> 01:04:47,208 [muffled scream] 1562 01:04:47,292 --> 01:04:48,375 [pillow thuds] 1563 01:04:48,458 --> 01:04:49,458 [sharp exhale] 1564 01:04:49,792 --> 01:04:51,750 [car engine starts] 1565 01:05:02,125 --> 01:05:04,958 [♪ "BLOOM" by ill peach playing] 1566 01:05:05,042 --> 01:05:07,042 [speaker] Woo! 1567 01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:10,042 [soccer players] ...55, 56, 57, 1568 01:05:10,125 --> 01:05:13,417 58, 59, 60! 1569 01:05:13,500 --> 01:05:15,583 [excited chatter] 1570 01:05:15,667 --> 01:05:18,625 Oh, that's a full minute, baby! That's a new record! 1571 01:05:18,708 --> 01:05:20,458 Let's go! Woo! 1572 01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:22,000 That's it! That's it! 1573 01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,292 All right, dude. You're next. 1574 01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:24,500 Yeah, thank you, thank you. 1575 01:05:24,583 --> 01:05:26,125 Uh, thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. 1576 01:05:27,167 --> 01:05:28,458 -Congrats, bro. -What's up, man? 1577 01:05:28,542 --> 01:05:30,833 -Lemme get a picture real quick. -Yeah, let's do it, let's do it. 1578 01:05:31,667 --> 01:05:33,042 -Alright. -[Luca] Let's go. 1579 01:05:33,125 --> 01:05:34,875 ♪ That sparkle ♪ 1580 01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:38,625 ♪ It goes away and then you know ♪ 1581 01:05:38,708 --> 01:05:40,250 [indistinct chatter] 1582 01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:45,250 ♪ Excuses start to weigh more than gold ♪ 1583 01:05:47,083 --> 01:05:50,042 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1584 01:05:50,792 --> 01:05:52,292 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1585 01:05:52,375 --> 01:05:54,917 What's up, sourpuss? Want some bubbly? 1586 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,208 No. 1587 01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:57,625 Okay. More for me. 1588 01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:00,208 You know, I kinda wish we were going straight 1589 01:06:00,292 --> 01:06:03,625 to the after party, if ya know what I mean. 1590 01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:11,333 [sings] ♪ I used a condom with Janine, so we don't have to ♪ 1591 01:06:13,042 --> 01:06:14,167 What? 1592 01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:17,292 You should be amped, it smells great down there. 1593 01:06:17,375 --> 01:06:19,375 -Okay. -Ooh, I know. 1594 01:06:19,458 --> 01:06:21,667 Do you wanna meet my parents? 1595 01:06:23,708 --> 01:06:24,792 Yeah. 1596 01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:27,708 Alright, let me go find my mom. 1597 01:06:29,417 --> 01:06:32,000 Mom! Come meet Jess, you slut! 1598 01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:36,125 Hey, sorry to bother you, would you mind taking a picture of us? 1599 01:06:36,208 --> 01:06:37,875 Keara's absolutely beefing the self-timer. 1600 01:06:37,958 --> 01:06:40,625 It's not me, you bitch, it's Jordan's janky Android. 1601 01:06:40,708 --> 01:06:41,792 Just use yours. 1602 01:06:41,875 --> 01:06:43,917 Please, no. I share an iCloud account with my parents, 1603 01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,083 and I know one of you is gonna flash tit. 1604 01:06:46,167 --> 01:06:48,083 [Jess] I can just take it on my phone and AirDrop it. 1605 01:06:48,167 --> 01:06:49,250 Perfect. Yeah. 1606 01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:54,792 [all giggling] 1607 01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:57,417 Guess Anne and Carm are missing out on my nips again this year. 1608 01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:58,917 [laughter] 1609 01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:05,708 [group giggles] 1610 01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:09,500 -I got it. -[Alanah] Ugh, you're an angel. 1611 01:07:09,583 --> 01:07:11,458 Come take a picture with us. Hannah too, obviously. 1612 01:07:11,542 --> 01:07:12,625 [Keara] Oh, yeah, go get her. 1613 01:07:12,708 --> 01:07:16,958 Um... no, yeah, actually, I'm gonna go pick her up. 1614 01:07:17,042 --> 01:07:19,750 But we'll meet you guys at prom. A-And you look really cute by the way. 1615 01:07:19,833 --> 01:07:21,375 -[Alanah] You too! -[Keara] See you there! 1616 01:07:24,667 --> 01:07:26,500 Time to meet my slam piece. 1617 01:07:26,583 --> 01:07:28,583 [exhales] Jess? 1618 01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:34,083 [line beeping] 1619 01:07:34,167 --> 01:07:36,708 [automated voice] [on phone] The number you've dialed is not in service. 1620 01:07:36,792 --> 01:07:39,083 [Jess] Ugh. Fucking fountain phone! 1621 01:07:39,417 --> 01:07:40,458 [sighs] 1622 01:07:41,708 --> 01:07:43,083 Twenty-seven minutes? 1623 01:07:49,958 --> 01:07:52,667 [engine roaring] 1624 01:07:52,750 --> 01:07:55,458 [♪ upbeat adventurous music playing] 1625 01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:08,500 [button beeps] 1626 01:08:14,167 --> 01:08:16,000 -Home? -[dog barking] 1627 01:08:17,208 --> 01:08:19,208 ♪♪ 1628 01:08:23,250 --> 01:08:26,167 Hannah! I'm a fucking idiot, okay? 1629 01:08:26,250 --> 01:08:28,875 You were right, I was putting dudes ahead of you, 1630 01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:30,583 which literally makes no sense 1631 01:08:30,667 --> 01:08:32,958 because nothing could compare to our friendship! 1632 01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:35,375 I won't go to prom without you! 1633 01:08:36,458 --> 01:08:37,542 Hey. 1634 01:08:38,625 --> 01:08:39,667 She's not here. 1635 01:08:39,750 --> 01:08:41,083 Jacob. 1636 01:08:42,542 --> 01:08:43,542 [window thuds] 1637 01:08:43,625 --> 01:08:44,625 [sighs] 1638 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:48,125 [door opens] 1639 01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:53,958 It's all you, doggie. 1640 01:08:55,375 --> 01:08:57,375 ♪♪ 1641 01:08:58,292 --> 01:08:59,625 -[automated voice] Lucy. -[Lucy barks] 1642 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,042 Ah! 1643 01:09:03,125 --> 01:09:04,708 Oh, Lucy! 1644 01:09:04,792 --> 01:09:06,000 -[Lucy barking] -[Barb] Oh, hi. 1645 01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,875 Oh, yes, you're home! 1646 01:09:07,958 --> 01:09:08,958 Where were you? 1647 01:09:09,042 --> 01:09:10,917 -[Lucy barks] -[Barb] Where was my baby? 1648 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,708 -[Lucy barking] -[Barb] Oh, yes, yes! 1649 01:09:13,792 --> 01:09:17,208 I love you! I was so worried about my baby! 1650 01:09:17,292 --> 01:09:19,083 -[Lucy barking] -[Barb] You're my little baby! 1651 01:09:19,167 --> 01:09:22,208 -[engine starts] -Oh, yes. Oh. 1652 01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:25,250 -Like, it looks bad, but-- -Does it hurt? 1653 01:09:25,792 --> 01:09:29,042 Uh, yeah, I mean, probably about as much as a trophy to the head. 1654 01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:30,958 [Jess] I'm so sorry. 1655 01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,667 -Ah. -For everything. 1656 01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:36,083 You've been so great, and I just keep fucking it up. 1657 01:09:37,625 --> 01:09:39,458 Well, this might be my head injury talking, 1658 01:09:39,542 --> 01:09:41,833 but I still like you. 1659 01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:43,958 I like you, too. 1660 01:09:46,500 --> 01:09:48,542 But we probably shouldn't do this right now. 1661 01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:52,375 Right, yeah. No, you-you gotta figure things out with Hannah first. 1662 01:09:52,833 --> 01:09:55,500 Yeah, and I, um... 1663 01:09:56,667 --> 01:09:59,625 I should really just focus on myself for a bit, 1664 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,917 make sure I'm dating for the right reasons. 1665 01:10:02,167 --> 01:10:04,917 Self-awareness. Gross. 1666 01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,542 [both laugh] 1667 01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:11,625 Look, I don't expect you to wait for me or anything. 1668 01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:14,625 But when I'm ready, you'll be the first person I call. 1669 01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:16,917 Deal. 1670 01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:30,042 It's probably for the best that we don't start dating now. 1671 01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:32,292 I lent Hannah my tux for prom, 1672 01:10:32,375 --> 01:10:35,042 so if you had asked me, it would have just been this. 1673 01:10:35,125 --> 01:10:36,625 Wait. Hannah went to prom? 1674 01:10:36,708 --> 01:10:38,958 Eh, she said something about meeting up with the drama club. 1675 01:10:39,292 --> 01:10:40,292 What...? 1676 01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:42,583 Did you steal Luca's car? 1677 01:10:43,125 --> 01:10:44,208 Yes, I did. 1678 01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,167 [Jacob] God, that's hot. 1679 01:10:47,583 --> 01:10:48,583 [chuckles] 1680 01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:52,500 [♪ "Kiss Me Right Now" by Tatyana playing] 1681 01:10:52,583 --> 01:10:55,625 [students chattering] 1682 01:10:58,167 --> 01:11:01,542 ♪ Walked in the room, I couldn't look away ♪ 1683 01:11:02,583 --> 01:11:05,458 ♪ Stop me dead with that electric gaze ♪ 1684 01:11:06,542 --> 01:11:10,667 ♪ Something so comforting about your face ♪ 1685 01:11:10,750 --> 01:11:13,917 ♪ I don't know how, but we might be the same ♪ 1686 01:11:14,958 --> 01:11:18,000 ♪ Never expected I would feel this way ♪ 1687 01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:22,208 ♪ I keep my head down, take it day by day ♪ 1688 01:11:23,292 --> 01:11:25,833 ♪ I turned those feelings off so long ago ♪ 1689 01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:27,458 Oh, my God, hurry up. We're so late. 1690 01:11:27,542 --> 01:11:31,333 ♪ I always thought it'd be impossible, but ♪ 1691 01:11:31,417 --> 01:11:33,208 -♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ -Hey. 1692 01:11:34,042 --> 01:11:35,625 Hey! Where's Jess? 1693 01:11:36,333 --> 01:11:37,667 How should I know, Hanky? 1694 01:11:37,917 --> 01:11:39,875 ♪ I’ve been dreaming 'bout it... ♪ 1695 01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:41,708 We're all set up backstage. Ready? 1696 01:11:41,792 --> 01:11:43,125 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Grace. 1697 01:11:44,792 --> 01:11:45,792 [sighs] 1698 01:11:45,875 --> 01:11:48,250 ♪ Mm-hmm, yeah ♪ 1699 01:11:48,333 --> 01:11:49,917 ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ 1700 01:11:50,792 --> 01:11:53,750 -♪ I don't understand it, no ♪ -[indistinct chatter] 1701 01:11:54,667 --> 01:11:56,417 ♪ But I'm not gonna fight it... ♪ 1702 01:11:56,500 --> 01:11:58,208 -[stops music] -Hey, ho, everybody, hold up. 1703 01:11:58,292 --> 01:11:59,833 One second, hold up, stop dancing. 1704 01:11:59,917 --> 01:12:02,417 Alright, we're gonna take a quick break from the tunes 1705 01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:04,417 because the student fire marshal is here to give us 1706 01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:06,500 a brief safety announcement, okay? 1707 01:12:06,583 --> 01:12:07,583 It's very important. 1708 01:12:07,667 --> 01:12:09,917 And then after that, you can believe 1709 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,708 that DJ Tony Turnpike is gonna be back 1710 01:12:12,792 --> 01:12:14,417 with the noise. 1711 01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:17,542 The noise and the boys. You understand? 1712 01:12:17,625 --> 01:12:18,833 That's all slang for-- 1713 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,833 I actually don't know what it's for. 1714 01:12:20,917 --> 01:12:23,125 -Here you go, Hannah. You go ahead. -Okay. Thanks. 1715 01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,875 -I'll leave you with this. -[air horn blaring] 1716 01:12:25,958 --> 01:12:27,167 [automated voice] Bush did 9/11. 1717 01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:28,667 ♪ Oh, Lord ♪ 1718 01:12:28,750 --> 01:12:29,875 Check that out. 1719 01:12:31,583 --> 01:12:33,792 [crowd murmurs] 1720 01:12:35,167 --> 01:12:36,167 [Hannah clears throat] 1721 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:40,625 Hello, everybody in my grade. 1722 01:12:41,042 --> 01:12:44,917 I'm sorry to say that I am not up here to provide safety information, 1723 01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:49,458 as the title "student fire marshal" is completely made up. 1724 01:12:49,542 --> 01:12:50,708 [students gasping] 1725 01:12:50,792 --> 01:12:52,333 Student fire marshal's not real? 1726 01:12:53,833 --> 01:12:55,250 I was the student fire marshal. 1727 01:12:55,333 --> 01:12:56,667 Okay. Thank you. 1728 01:12:57,542 --> 01:12:59,708 I'm actually up here tonight because 1729 01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,125 I owe someone an apology. 1730 01:13:03,417 --> 01:13:05,625 This person is never anything less than himself 1731 01:13:06,417 --> 01:13:08,333 and taught me that I shouldn't be either. 1732 01:13:09,917 --> 01:13:10,917 So... 1733 01:13:13,250 --> 01:13:14,833 I have something I need to say. 1734 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:19,792 I'm a lesbian. 1735 01:13:19,875 --> 01:13:21,333 [crowd whoops and cheers] 1736 01:13:21,417 --> 01:13:26,292 And even though it's, like, really scary to admit, 1737 01:13:26,375 --> 01:13:29,125 it feels way better than continuing 1738 01:13:29,208 --> 01:13:31,708 to pretend I'm something I'm not. 1739 01:13:31,792 --> 01:13:32,792 [crowd applauds] 1740 01:13:32,875 --> 01:13:34,083 Woo! 1741 01:13:36,125 --> 01:13:38,958 [crowd cheering] 1742 01:13:43,167 --> 01:13:44,833 -Why are we clapping? -[Alanah/Keara] Shh! 1743 01:13:44,917 --> 01:13:47,375 [Hannah] Now, I'm not as good a performer as he is, 1744 01:13:47,458 --> 01:13:51,708 but his love language is grand gestures, so... 1745 01:13:52,167 --> 01:13:54,625 [♪ music for Frank Sinatra's "L.O.V.E." playing] 1746 01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:58,042 Greg, our relationship might be over, 1747 01:13:58,542 --> 01:14:00,625 but I hope we can stay friends forever. 1748 01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:02,542 I love ya, buddy. 1749 01:14:04,625 --> 01:14:10,042 [sings] ♪ G is for a guy who loves his Glee ♪ 1750 01:14:10,833 --> 01:14:15,958 ♪ R is 'cause a ray of sun is he ♪ 1751 01:14:16,042 --> 01:14:18,667 Guys, I'm Greg! She's singing about me! 1752 01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:23,125 ♪ ...is very, very extraordinary ♪ 1753 01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:25,292 -♪ G-- ♪ -[Luca] Gay! 1754 01:14:25,375 --> 01:14:29,417 ♪ Even more of that special Greg that we adore ♪ 1755 01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,250 Hey. Shut the fuck up. 1756 01:14:32,333 --> 01:14:33,542 Hey. Where have you been? 1757 01:14:33,625 --> 01:14:35,208 What Hannah's doing is braver than anything 1758 01:14:35,292 --> 01:14:36,917 you've ever done in your entire life. 1759 01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,625 [Luca] Okay, chill. I was just kidding. 1760 01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:40,792 I didn't think that you two were friends anymore anyway. 1761 01:14:40,875 --> 01:14:42,917 Yeah, well, you were wrong. She's my best friend. 1762 01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,917 I'm just gonna be honest. You're kinda being a super mega bitch right now. 1763 01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:47,458 [♪ "L.O.V.E." continues playing] 1764 01:14:47,833 --> 01:14:49,333 -[corsage clatters] -We're done. 1765 01:14:49,958 --> 01:14:52,167 So you're gonna spend prom alone? 1766 01:14:52,250 --> 01:14:54,208 -♪ Greg ♪ -I'm not alone. I have her. 1767 01:14:54,292 --> 01:14:57,500 ♪ Is a real friend when you're in need ♪ 1768 01:14:57,583 --> 01:15:00,458 Alright, swag. Have fun with Dykey D. 1769 01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:03,667 ♪ Greg has always been right there for me ♪ 1770 01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:05,000 [Hannah] It's true. 1771 01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:06,125 -♪ Greg's... ♪ -[punch thuds] 1772 01:15:06,208 --> 01:15:07,667 [students gasping] 1773 01:15:07,750 --> 01:15:10,542 [♪ "L.O.V.E." continues playing] 1774 01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:15,125 -[microphone feedback squeals] -Uh, thank you, fire marshal. 1775 01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:16,375 Thank you so much. 1776 01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,375 Uh, very, uh, interesting announcement. 1777 01:15:18,458 --> 01:15:21,000 That got a little bit weird, folks, uh, in here, 1778 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,000 so let's move right on to the love 1779 01:15:23,083 --> 01:15:25,750 with the first slow dance of the evening. 1780 01:15:25,833 --> 01:15:28,500 If you touch anything that seems to be changing size, 1781 01:15:28,583 --> 01:15:30,500 just take your hand right off it, okay? 1782 01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:35,792 The most important part about the pact is that this is our night. 1783 01:15:37,500 --> 01:15:39,292 It would be nothing without you. 1784 01:15:40,042 --> 01:15:43,542 -I love you. -Oh. I love you too. 1785 01:15:44,167 --> 01:15:46,792 [♪ "I Won't Fight It" by Andrew Belle playing] 1786 01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,083 May I have this dance? 1787 01:15:48,167 --> 01:15:50,292 Oh, I'd love nothing more. 1788 01:15:50,708 --> 01:15:52,750 ♪♪ 1789 01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:55,292 [both laughing] 1790 01:15:56,333 --> 01:15:57,750 I'm sorry for what I said. 1791 01:15:58,542 --> 01:16:00,708 I was projecting, and it was wrong. 1792 01:16:01,333 --> 01:16:02,375 [Hannah] It's okay. 1793 01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:05,500 I probably shouldn't have freaked out about you and Jacob. 1794 01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:09,125 If you guys really like each other, 1795 01:16:09,667 --> 01:16:11,042 I'm nothing but happy for you. 1796 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:15,250 Thanks, Hans, but I, I am gonna take a break 1797 01:16:15,333 --> 01:16:16,958 from serious relationships right now. 1798 01:16:17,042 --> 01:16:18,833 Does that mean you're breaking up with me? 1799 01:16:18,917 --> 01:16:21,750 Oh, no, we are more than serious, bitch. 1800 01:16:21,833 --> 01:16:23,958 We are terminal. You are never getting rid of me. 1801 01:16:24,042 --> 01:16:26,042 -[Hannah laughs] -Ever. 1802 01:16:26,125 --> 01:16:27,667 Good. [chuckles] 1803 01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:32,417 ♪ I won't fight it, I won't ♪ 1804 01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:33,917 I'm gonna go get a drink. 1805 01:16:35,292 --> 01:16:36,917 Wait, did you...? 1806 01:16:37,292 --> 01:16:38,333 -Maybe. -[Jess gasps] 1807 01:16:38,417 --> 01:16:39,708 -Hannah! -Yeah. 1808 01:16:39,792 --> 01:16:41,833 Yeah. Unfuckable reject, who? 1809 01:16:41,917 --> 01:16:43,000 Oh, God. Yeah, okay. 1810 01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:45,667 Um... sorry, again. 1811 01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:47,792 Yeah, it was actually the greatest thing to ever happen. 1812 01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:51,417 Like, she came on to me. 1813 01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,625 -As well she should. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1814 01:16:53,708 --> 01:16:56,542 Okay. Alright, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get out of your way. 1815 01:16:56,625 --> 01:16:57,625 Mm-hmm. 1816 01:16:59,542 --> 01:17:01,208 ♪ A sharp tongue ♪ 1817 01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,750 -Love you. -I love you. 1818 01:17:02,833 --> 01:17:04,958 ♪ It’s obvious ♪ 1819 01:17:05,292 --> 01:17:06,583 -Okay. -[Jess squeals] 1820 01:17:06,667 --> 01:17:10,083 ♪ There’s a room in a hospital where your body is ♪ 1821 01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,167 [Jess laughs] 1822 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,292 ♪ The B-bridge... ♪ 1823 01:17:14,375 --> 01:17:15,375 Quite a show. 1824 01:17:15,458 --> 01:17:16,667 [Hannah] [chuckles] Thank you. 1825 01:17:16,750 --> 01:17:19,625 Yeah, if you don't watch your back, I'm gonna start stealing your gigs. 1826 01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:26,750 I'm... I'm really sorry I dragged you into my shit. 1827 01:17:27,625 --> 01:17:28,833 It wasn't right. 1828 01:17:30,042 --> 01:17:34,250 But I wasn't lying when I said hanging out with you was the best night of my life. 1829 01:17:34,333 --> 01:17:37,458 So, now that everything's just, 1830 01:17:38,292 --> 01:17:39,500 phew, out in the open, 1831 01:17:39,583 --> 01:17:42,875 I just, I feel like there's one thing left to ask. 1832 01:17:45,042 --> 01:17:46,250 Will you be my girlfriend? 1833 01:17:46,917 --> 01:17:49,917 Uh, I... I don't think so. 1834 01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,542 -Huh? -Uh, we, like, hooked up once. 1835 01:17:52,958 --> 01:17:54,208 Yeah, no, I just, I'm... 1836 01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:56,500 [stammers] We-we were so connected. I-- 1837 01:17:56,583 --> 01:17:57,917 Yeah. Uh, 1838 01:17:58,292 --> 01:17:59,917 I mean, look, I-I think you're great, 1839 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,042 and obviously I'm attracted to you, 1840 01:18:02,125 --> 01:18:05,000 but it's, like, you just came out. 1841 01:18:05,875 --> 01:18:08,292 To, like, the whole school in a musical number? 1842 01:18:08,375 --> 01:18:09,583 [Hannah] Mm. 1843 01:18:09,667 --> 01:18:13,042 Just feel like you have a few things to sort out identity-wise. 1844 01:18:13,125 --> 01:18:16,917 Yeah. Yeah, no, that, that, that, like, fully makes sense. 1845 01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:18,167 Yeah, for sure. 1846 01:18:18,250 --> 01:18:19,500 Do you have any queer friends? 1847 01:18:20,833 --> 01:18:24,583 Well, if it's not too awkward, I'd love to be your first. 1848 01:18:27,333 --> 01:18:28,333 Yeah, sure. 1849 01:18:29,750 --> 01:18:33,208 Is it normal for lesbians to be friends with the people they've hooked up with? 1850 01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:34,500 [chuckles] 1851 01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:36,625 You have so much to learn. 1852 01:18:36,708 --> 01:18:38,250 [both chuckle] 1853 01:18:39,292 --> 01:18:41,333 -I know. -[both laugh] 1854 01:18:42,958 --> 01:18:45,458 [Greg] Softball's harder than baseball, that's what you're saying? 1855 01:18:46,375 --> 01:18:47,750 Do you mind if I cut in? 1856 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:50,125 [Melissa] Nah, it's cool. 1857 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:53,792 Grace. Um, great moves up there. 1858 01:18:53,875 --> 01:18:55,542 -[Grace chuckles] -How's your night going? 1859 01:18:55,625 --> 01:18:56,708 Really good. 1860 01:18:57,333 --> 01:19:00,542 Um, but, Greg, I actually have something to tell you. 1861 01:19:00,792 --> 01:19:02,167 [deep breath] 1862 01:19:02,250 --> 01:19:04,375 I only helped with your promposal 1863 01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:06,167 because I wanted to spend time with you. 1864 01:19:06,417 --> 01:19:09,208 And when I learned your top choice for college was Stanford, 1865 01:19:09,292 --> 01:19:10,792 that's the only place I applied. 1866 01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:13,708 One time after gym class, 1867 01:19:13,792 --> 01:19:15,708 I even snuck into the shower you used 1868 01:19:15,792 --> 01:19:17,208 and collected some of your hair. 1869 01:19:17,625 --> 01:19:19,958 I keep it in my locket, and every so often, 1870 01:19:20,042 --> 01:19:21,542 I sniff it for good luck. 1871 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,250 I'm in love with you, Greg. 1872 01:19:28,042 --> 01:19:29,458 [Greg] You were the best banana. 1873 01:19:30,458 --> 01:19:32,875 I love you, too. I think. 1874 01:19:34,417 --> 01:19:36,708 [♪ romantic music playing] 1875 01:19:39,708 --> 01:19:40,708 [Hannah/Jess gasp] 1876 01:19:41,167 --> 01:19:42,500 [Hannah] Damn! 1877 01:19:43,458 --> 01:19:44,958 -Okay. -Okay, Greg. 1878 01:19:45,042 --> 01:19:46,083 Wow! 1879 01:19:46,167 --> 01:19:47,667 -That's happening right now. -Wow. 1880 01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:50,708 -Awesome for them. -I'm so scared. 1881 01:19:50,792 --> 01:19:53,083 Hey, h-how did it go with Angie? 1882 01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:54,167 It's pretty bad. 1883 01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,042 Oh, no, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 1884 01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,125 Yeah. 1885 01:19:57,750 --> 01:19:58,833 We're gonna be friends. 1886 01:19:59,167 --> 01:20:00,167 That's good. 1887 01:20:00,250 --> 01:20:01,333 [Hannah sighs] 1888 01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:05,625 -Prom kinda-- -Sucks, right? 1889 01:20:05,708 --> 01:20:06,750 Yeah, exactly. 1890 01:20:06,833 --> 01:20:08,792 Yeah. Um, wanna get out of here? 1891 01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:10,583 Fuck yeah. 1892 01:20:11,958 --> 01:20:14,625 What are you thinking, Maps? Say It Ain't So? 1893 01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:15,708 Mm. 1894 01:20:17,333 --> 01:20:20,083 Definitely both classics, but I want something harder. 1895 01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:21,500 -Mm. -Fuck. 1896 01:20:21,583 --> 01:20:22,708 What? 1897 01:20:22,792 --> 01:20:24,167 We didn't take prom pics. 1898 01:20:24,875 --> 01:20:25,958 Give me your phone. 1899 01:20:26,708 --> 01:20:27,708 Come on. 1900 01:20:32,125 --> 01:20:33,750 [camera shutter clicking] 1901 01:20:33,833 --> 01:20:34,875 Done. 1902 01:20:36,833 --> 01:20:38,667 [indistinct cheering on TV] 1903 01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:40,292 Mm! Bitch, pay attention. 1904 01:20:40,375 --> 01:20:41,417 -It's starting. -Mm! 1905 01:20:41,500 --> 01:20:42,958 -Okay. Are you ready? -Fuck yeah. 1906 01:20:43,042 --> 01:20:45,625 Alright. One, two, one, two, three! 1907 01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:49,667 [♪ The Killers' "When You Were Young" by Julia Lester & AHR playing] 1908 01:21:01,042 --> 01:21:04,667 ♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1909 01:21:05,083 --> 01:21:08,542 ♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1910 01:21:08,625 --> 01:21:12,208 ♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1911 01:21:12,292 --> 01:21:13,625 ♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1912 01:21:13,708 --> 01:21:15,458 ♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1913 01:21:15,542 --> 01:21:18,833 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1914 01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:21,417 ♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1915 01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:26,542 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1916 01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:34,292 ♪ Can we climb this mountain, I don't know ♪ 1917 01:21:34,375 --> 01:21:37,375 ♪ Higher now than ever before ♪ 1918 01:21:37,458 --> 01:21:41,583 ♪ I know we can make it if we take it slow ♪ 1919 01:21:41,667 --> 01:21:43,125 ♪ Let's take it easy ♪ 1920 01:21:43,208 --> 01:21:44,958 ♪ Easy now, watch it go ♪ 1921 01:21:45,042 --> 01:21:48,500 ♪ We're burning down the highway skyline ♪ 1922 01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:50,875 ♪ On the back of a hurricane ♪ 1923 01:21:50,958 --> 01:21:56,042 ♪ That started turning when you were young ♪ 1924 01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:04,167 ♪ When you were young ♪ 1925 01:22:06,708 --> 01:22:09,542 ♪ And sometimes you close your eyes ♪ 1926 01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:13,292 ♪ And see the place where you used to live ♪ 1927 01:22:14,083 --> 01:22:17,417 ♪ When you were young ♪ 1928 01:22:17,500 --> 01:22:21,250 [♪ lively rock music playing] 1929 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:42,042 ♪ They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet ♪ 1930 01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:45,500 ♪ You don't have to drink right now ♪ 1931 01:22:46,625 --> 01:22:49,208 ♪ But you can dip your feet ♪ 1932 01:22:50,583 --> 01:22:55,042 ♪ Every once in a little while ♪ 1933 01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:58,833 [♪ lively rock music continues] 1934 01:23:16,208 --> 01:23:19,583 ♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1935 01:23:20,042 --> 01:23:23,458 ♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1936 01:23:23,542 --> 01:23:27,042 ♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1937 01:23:27,125 --> 01:23:28,500 ♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1938 01:23:28,583 --> 01:23:30,250 ♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1939 01:23:30,333 --> 01:23:33,917 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1940 01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,250 ♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1941 01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:41,333 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1942 01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,750 ♪ Talks like a gentleman ♪ 1943 01:23:43,833 --> 01:23:49,667 ♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1944 01:23:52,292 --> 01:23:56,542 ♪ I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1945 01:24:00,083 --> 01:24:04,708 ♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1946 01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:09,250 ♪ But more than you'll ever know ♪ 1947 01:24:12,792 --> 01:24:14,958 [♪ song ends] 1948 01:24:16,375 --> 01:24:17,750 ♪ Night-oh ♪ 1949 01:24:18,250 --> 01:24:19,708 ♪ Night-oh ♪ 1950 01:24:19,792 --> 01:24:23,125 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1951 01:24:23,208 --> 01:24:26,583 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 1952 01:24:26,667 --> 01:24:30,000 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1953 01:24:30,083 --> 01:24:33,542 [♪ upbeat electronic music playing] 1954 01:24:36,958 --> 01:24:40,375 ♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 1955 01:24:40,458 --> 01:24:43,708 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1956 01:24:43,792 --> 01:24:47,208 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1957 01:24:47,292 --> 01:24:50,542 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1958 01:24:50,625 --> 01:24:54,042 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1959 01:24:54,125 --> 01:24:57,417 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1960 01:24:57,500 --> 01:25:00,875 ♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 1961 01:25:00,958 --> 01:25:04,167 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1962 01:25:04,250 --> 01:25:07,583 ♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 1963 01:25:07,667 --> 01:25:10,958 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 134514