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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,959 --> 00:00:58,083 Hi guys. Glad we got your message. 2 00:00:58,167 --> 00:01:01,708 You'll be interested to hear, it was broadcast live, all over Earth. 3 00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:06,333 in Prime Time. Got good reviews in the trades. 4 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:11,458 The time lag on these messages is getting longer. 5 00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:15,833 We gather from the ten year delay, that you are approximately 6 00:01:15,917 --> 00:01:20,208 eighteen parsecs away. 7 00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:24,374 Drop us a line more often, okay? 8 00:01:25,042 --> 00:01:29,874 Sorry to hear about the radiation leak on the ship. 9 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:35,458 And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell. 10 00:01:35,542 --> 00:01:38,124 There was a week of mourning here on Earth. 11 00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:40,999 The flags were at half-mast. 12 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:45,041 We're all behind you guys. 13 00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:51,333 About your request for radiation shielding, 14 00:01:51,417 --> 00:01:55,333 sorry to report this request has been denied. 15 00:01:55,417 --> 00:02:00,333 I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there doing such a swell job. 16 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:03,791 But I think you'll take it in the proper spirit. 17 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:07,666 There've been some cutbacks in Congress, and right now... 18 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:10,583 considering the distance, we just can't afford 19 00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:13,666 to send a cargo shuttle out there to you. 20 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:18,208 But I know... You guys will make due. 21 00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:23,333 Keep up the good work, men. 22 00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:23,458 What'd you say, Pinback? 23 00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,416 What was that again? I still can't hear you. 24 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,416 I said I'm trying to reach Talby. 25 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,666 Something's wrong with the damn intercom. 26 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:34,166 I need a last-minute diameter approximation. 27 00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,249 Talby, Talby, this is Doolittle. 28 00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:42,041 Do you read me? Talby? Talby, do you read me? 29 00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:43,999 TALBY! 30 00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:45,916 Oh yes, Doolittle. What is it? 31 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,458 I need a diameter approximation. 32 00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:49,999 Okay, Doolittle, I'll have it in a minute. 33 00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:52,499 I need a GHF reading on the gravity correction. 34 00:03:52,584 --> 00:03:53,624 I'll check it. 35 00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:55,833 I have a bias A of plus one. 36 00:03:55,917 --> 00:03:56,916 - Pinback... - Ya, Doolittle. 37 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,749 - Your GHF reading is minus fifteen. - Doolittle... 38 00:03:59,834 --> 00:04:00,833 Yes. 39 00:04:00,917 --> 00:04:03,166 I need a computer reading on a fail-safe mark. 40 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:04,291 In a second. 41 00:04:04,375 --> 00:04:06,583 Boiler, can you set me up with some drive figures? 42 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:10,791 Ninety seven million, minus eight, corrected to mass critical. 43 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,791 That checks out here. 44 00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:15,791 I have a reduced drive reading of seven thousand. 45 00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:18,916 I read that with a quantum increase of seven. 46 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,458 Pinback, I have a computer reading, it's nine five seven seven. 47 00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:24,874 Time to start talking. 48 00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:30,208 Bomb bay systems operational. 49 00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:43,208 Lock fail safe. 50 00:04:44,042 --> 00:04:45,708 Fail-safe in lock. 51 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:47,708 Uh... 52 00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:54,083 Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb #19. Do you read me, bomb? 53 00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:57,666 Bomb #19 to Sergeant Pinback, I read you. Continue. 54 00:04:57,750 --> 00:05:01,333 Well, bomb, we have about sixty seconds to drop. 55 00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:03,124 Just wondering if everything is all right. 56 00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:05,666 Have you checked your platinum euridium energy shielding? 57 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:08,333 Energy shielding positive function. - Swell. 58 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:12,333 Let's synchronize detonation time. Uh... 59 00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:15,249 You wouldn't happen to know when you're supposed to go off, would ya? 60 00:05:15,334 --> 00:05:18,249 Detonation in six minutes, Twenty seconds. 61 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:20,416 All right, that checks out here. 62 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,249 Arm yourself, bomb. 63 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:24,666 Armed. 64 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,083 Well, then, everything sounds fine. 65 00:05:27,167 --> 00:05:29,999 Dropping you off in about thirty-five seconds. 66 00:05:30,084 --> 00:05:31,999 - Good luck. - Thanks! 67 00:05:32,084 --> 00:05:36,041 Begin primary sequence. 68 00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:41,666 Alright. Mark at... 69 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:46,166 1 0-9-8-7- 70 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:52,749 6-5-4-3-2-1 71 00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:55,041 Drop. 72 00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,124 Hyperdrive sequence begun. Hit it, Pinback. 73 00:05:58,209 --> 00:06:00,333 Brace for force fields. 74 00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:11,583 Lieutenant Doolittle, it just exploded. 75 00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:16,333 Um, the planet just exploded, sir. 76 00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,833 Lieutenant? 77 00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,083 Attention. Attention. 78 00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:23,583 Ship's computer to all personnel. - Unlock fail safe. 79 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,708 The hyperdrive sequence is now terminated. 80 00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:29,708 Target planet has been destroyed. - Fail safe unlocked. 81 00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:33,124 This sector is now cleared for colonization. 82 00:07:33,209 --> 00:07:38,124 You have destroyed the last unstable planet in this system. 83 00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:41,999 Congratulations on another successful bomb run fellows. 84 00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:43,083 What now? 85 00:07:43,167 --> 00:07:46,416 What do you have for us now, Boiler? 86 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:51,583 Uh... Not much. Nothing at all in this sector. 87 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:54,666 Well, find me something, I don't care where it is. 88 00:07:56,334 --> 00:08:00,999 Well, I show a 95% probability of intelligent life 89 00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:03,666 in the Horsehead Nebula sector. 90 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,041 Don't give me that kind of bull. 91 00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:10,499 - I know it's a long shot... - Damn wild goose chase is what it is! 92 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,749 Remember when Commander Powell found that 93 00:08:12,834 --> 00:08:16,749 99 plus probability of intelligent life in the Magellanic Cloud? 94 00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:19,749 Well, I... there's the possibility of... - Remember what we found? 95 00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:23,333 A damn mindless vegetable, looked like a limp balloon 96 00:08:23,417 --> 00:08:26,249 Fourteen light years for a vegetable that went squawk 97 00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:28,083 and let a fart when you touch it. Remember that? 98 00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,249 All right, then uh... 99 00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,833 Don't give me any of that intelligent life stuff. 100 00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:34,208 Find me something I can blow up. 101 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,499 New star. 102 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:51,291 Hey, guess what? I got a new star on the readout. 103 00:08:51,375 --> 00:08:53,708 Which one? 104 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:57,916 Another unknown. A red dwarf. Not on the charts. 105 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,249 Any planets? 106 00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:03,083 Yeah. Eight, it says here. 107 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,458 Any of 'em any good? 108 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:09,499 Naah. All stable. 109 00:09:11,292 --> 00:09:13,458 What are you gonna name it? 110 00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:14,999 - What? - The new star. 111 00:09:15,084 --> 00:09:16,999 What are you gonna name it? 112 00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:21,374 Who cares. Don't bother me. 113 00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:25,999 Commander Powell would have named it. 114 00:09:26,084 --> 00:09:28,291 Commander Powell is dead. 115 00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:32,166 Doolittle, I've got a goodie. An unstable planet. 116 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:35,291 85% probability of an unstable planet in the 117 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:38,749 Veil Nebula that will probably go off its orbit and hit a star. 118 00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:41,458 Wanna blow it up? 119 00:09:41,542 --> 00:09:43,374 Real good, Boiler. That's what I'm looking for. 120 00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:45,916 Chart a course for the Veil Nebula. 121 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,208 Pinback, throw me the chart log. 122 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:54,416 Let's have some music in here, Boiler. 123 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,749 Sure thing. 124 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,083 A million suns shine down 125 00:10:06,167 --> 00:10:09,374 But I see only one 126 00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:12,624 When I think I'm over you 127 00:10:12,709 --> 00:10:15,541 I find I've just begun 128 00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:21,541 The years move faster than the days There's no warmth in the light 129 00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:26,999 How I miss those desert skies Your cool touch in the night 130 00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:34,791 Benson, Arizona, blew warm wind through your hair 131 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:41,124 My body flies the galaxy, my heart longs to be there 132 00:10:41,209 --> 00:10:46,916 Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky 133 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:53,999 But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I 134 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:13,666 Benson, Arizona, blew warm wind through your hair 135 00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:20,291 My body flies the galaxy, my heart longs to be there 136 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:25,916 Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky 137 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:32,958 But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I 138 00:11:33,542 --> 00:11:37,208 Now the years pull us apart 139 00:11:37,292 --> 00:11:39,916 I'm young and now you're old 140 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:45,749 But you're still in my heart And the memory won't grow cold 141 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:51,916 I dream of times and spaces I left far behind 142 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:58,999 Where we spent our last few days Benson's on my mind 143 00:11:59,417 --> 00:12:05,333 Benson, Arizona, blew warm wind through your hair 144 00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:11,541 My body flies the galaxy, my heart longs to be there 145 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:17,249 Benson, Arizona, the same stars in the sky 146 00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:24,333 But they seemed so much kinder when we watched them, you and I 147 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:34,958 Ship's log, entry number 1,943. 148 00:12:35,042 --> 00:12:41,374 Dark Star cruising at light speed through Sector Theta 990. 149 00:12:42,417 --> 00:12:47,416 On route to Veil Nebula for destruction of unstable planet. 150 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:53,291 Our ETA is 17 hours. 151 00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:59,499 Ship's systems continue to deteriorate... 152 00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:01,749 Oh ya... 153 00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:05,624 The short circuit in the rear seat panel which killed Commander Powell 154 00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:09,166 is still faulty. 155 00:13:11,209 --> 00:13:15,333 The uh, the Storage... 156 00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:19,791 Because he's sitting next to Commander Powell's seat, 157 00:13:19,875 --> 00:13:23,416 it continues to bother Pinback. 158 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:27,958 Uh... Oh ya, Storage Area 9 159 00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:31,458 self-destructed last week and destroyed the ship's entire 160 00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:35,666 supply of toilet paper. 161 00:13:37,042 --> 00:13:39,041 That's all. 162 00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:15,041 Talby. 163 00:14:16,042 --> 00:14:19,041 Here's some breakfast. 164 00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:46,583 You know, Talby, you really ought to eat with the rest of us. 165 00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:49,624 You spend too much time up here. 166 00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:51,916 I like it up here. 167 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,791 Must get lonely being up here so much. 168 00:14:55,875 --> 00:15:00,124 I don't like to go below since Commander Powell died. 169 00:15:00,209 --> 00:15:03,124 I feel too enclosed down there. 170 00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:06,666 Well you should spend some more time below though, I mean... 171 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:10,458 You know, you should see more of the rest of the ship. 172 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,624 See, I can watch things Up here, Doolittle. 173 00:15:13,709 --> 00:15:17,666 I love to watch things, just stare at the planets 174 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,916 meteors, gas clusters and asteroids... 175 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,166 You'll have plenty of time for that, later, though. 176 00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,541 I mean, think of it this way: 177 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:29,083 We've been in space for twenty years now, right? 178 00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:31,083 and we've only aged three years... 179 00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:36,083 so there'll be plenty of time later on for staring around. 180 00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:40,083 You know, Doolittle, if we're going into the Veil Nebula, 181 00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:44,374 we may actually find a strange And beautiful thing... 182 00:15:44,459 --> 00:15:47,374 the Phoenix Asteroid. 183 00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:51,041 They should be passing through there about now. 184 00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:54,916 Phoenix Asteroid? Never heard of 'em. 185 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,749 They're a body of asteroids that circle the universe... 186 00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:01,916 once every 12.3 trillion years. 187 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,791 The Phoenix Asteroid... 188 00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:08,208 From what I've heard, Doolittle, they glow... 189 00:16:08,292 --> 00:16:11,958 glow with all the colors of the rainbow. 190 00:16:12,042 --> 00:16:15,208 Nobody knows why. 191 00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:20,249 They just glow as they drift around the universe. 192 00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:23,458 The Phoenix Asteroid. 193 00:16:23,542 --> 00:16:27,166 You know what I think about, Talby? 194 00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:28,624 It's funny, I... 195 00:16:28,709 --> 00:16:35,416 I kind of sit around a lot, you know, a lot of time to myself. 196 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:38,124 I can't talk to the others, 197 00:16:38,209 --> 00:16:43,124 but with time to myself, I can think about back home, 198 00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:47,416 back home at Malibu. 199 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:53,041 I used to surf a lot, Talby. I used to be a great surfer. 200 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:57,833 The waves at Malibu and Zuma are so fantastic in the springs Talby. 201 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,791 I can remember running down on the beach on those early spring mornings 202 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,874 with my surf board and a wet suit. . . 203 00:17:03,959 --> 00:17:07,291 The waves would really be peaking, you know, high and glassy 204 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:08,874 Ya hit that water. 205 00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:11,208 Before you know it, you're coming down right off of one of those walls 206 00:17:11,292 --> 00:17:16,249 and you're just ridin' perfect. 207 00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:26,208 You know, I guess I miss the waves and my board more than anything. 208 00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:06,041 That's the lid to the heating unit. 209 00:18:32,709 --> 00:18:35,833 You're not supposed to have that out! 210 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,666 That's not for target practice! 211 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,458 That's for emergencies only! 212 00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:54,791 That's dangerous! 213 00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,458 I'll tell Doolittle! 214 00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:07,124 Sorry to interrupt your recreation, fellows. 215 00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:10,124 But it is time for Sergeant Pinback to feed the alien. 216 00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:13,249 Oh... I don't want to do that. 217 00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:16,416 May I remind you, Sergeant Pinback, that it was your idea 218 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:20,166 in the first place to bring the alien on board. 219 00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:23,499 If I may quote you, you said, "The ship needed a mascot." 220 00:19:23,584 --> 00:19:27,041 Oh, I have to do everything around here! 221 00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:36,541 Alright, where are ya? 222 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:40,124 Come on, quit playing around. 223 00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:45,041 Get away! 224 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,708 Come on. 225 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,458 Come on, come on! 226 00:19:57,542 --> 00:20:01,708 When I brought you on the ship, I thought you were cute. 227 00:20:03,459 --> 00:20:05,708 Alright, soup's on. 228 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,291 We didn't have none of the other stuff. 229 00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:13,708 Here, eat it! 230 00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:16,458 Eat it! 231 00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:19,208 Take it or leave it. 232 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:27,874 Good... stop! 233 00:20:27,959 --> 00:20:32,458 Nobody appreciates me around here, I have to do all the work. 234 00:20:32,542 --> 00:20:36,541 Clean up the crap... 235 00:20:42,334 --> 00:20:45,333 I do all the work and no appreciation. 236 00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:50,416 Get off me! Get off my back! 237 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,124 Alright now, stop it! Alright, now, that's enough. 238 00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:54,874 Don't pull my hair! 239 00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:15,249 Get back in there. 240 00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:20,958 Come on. Come on... Come on. 241 00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:26,916 Here, boy... Want your mouse? 242 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:32,333 Nice mouse... pretty toy. Want your mouse? Here, boy! 243 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,958 Idiot! 244 00:22:16,459 --> 00:22:17,958 Get back! 245 00:25:57,334 --> 00:25:58,958 Get out of there! 246 00:26:01,167 --> 00:26:03,083 Come back here! 247 00:26:06,834 --> 00:26:08,416 No! 248 00:27:45,792 --> 00:27:47,124 Idiot! 249 00:27:47,209 --> 00:27:50,249 Attention. Attention. 250 00:27:50,334 --> 00:27:53,749 Central trunk elevator shaft is now activated. 251 00:27:53,834 --> 00:27:56,541 All personnel, please clear the area. 252 00:29:29,709 --> 00:29:31,708 Attention. Attention. 253 00:29:31,792 --> 00:29:36,749 Elevator descending. Please clear the shaft. 254 00:31:02,709 --> 00:31:04,749 Help! 255 00:31:27,750 --> 00:31:29,791 I'm getting something here on the readout. 256 00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:38,791 Doolittle I do have a malfunction on this readout, 257 00:31:38,875 --> 00:31:41,416 but I can't pinpoint it exactly. 258 00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,416 Don't worry about it. 259 00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:46,083 We'll find out what it is when it goes bad. 260 00:31:46,167 --> 00:31:48,499 I really think we should try to locate it immediately. 261 00:31:48,584 --> 00:31:51,541 Might be something important. 262 00:31:51,625 --> 00:31:54,041 You know... 263 00:31:54,167 --> 00:31:57,416 I wish I had my board with me now. 264 00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:02,124 Even if I could just... wax it once in a while. 265 00:34:41,334 --> 00:34:42,999 Help! 266 00:34:43,792 --> 00:34:46,583 I'm sorry, this telephone is out of order. 267 00:34:46,667 --> 00:34:50,666 Please report the damage at once. 268 00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:56,416 For your listening enjoyment, we now present 269 00:34:56,500 --> 00:35:00,458 The Barber of Seville, by Rossini. 270 00:35:36,584 --> 00:35:37,999 Good for you! 271 00:35:38,084 --> 00:35:41,333 You've decided to clean the elevator. 272 00:35:41,417 --> 00:35:44,916 To clean and service the electromagnetic coils in the bottom, 273 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:49,416 it is necessary to jettison the access plate in the floor. 274 00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:55,208 To remove the floor plate, please press button #1. 275 00:36:04,750 --> 00:36:07,083 Attention... danger. 276 00:36:07,167 --> 00:36:11,124 Automatic charges will now blow the explosive bolts in the floor plate unit. 277 00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:16,124 The plate will disengage from the floor in 5 seconds. 278 00:36:16,209 --> 00:36:19,583 Please leave the elevator immediately. 279 00:36:19,667 --> 00:36:25,666 5-4-3-2-1... 280 00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:36,583 Now it's time to go sleepy-bye you worthless piece of garbage. 281 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,416 So then it just spewed across the room like a balloon. 282 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,291 I guess it was just filled with gas. 283 00:38:11,375 --> 00:38:14,291 Hey guys, how could it live if it was just filled with gas? 284 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:16,333 I wonder what we get to eat today. 285 00:38:16,417 --> 00:38:17,666 I thought I was going to die. 286 00:38:17,750 --> 00:38:19,666 I was hanging on the elevator for 20 minutes! 287 00:38:19,750 --> 00:38:22,124 - Probably chicken again. - I probably saved the ship. 288 00:38:22,209 --> 00:38:24,249 That thing could have done some damage. 289 00:38:24,334 --> 00:38:25,916 I'm really sick of chicken. 290 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,666 Well if you don't care, I just won't talk about it anymore! 291 00:38:28,750 --> 00:38:31,708 Hey that sounds like a fine idea, Pinback. 292 00:38:33,167 --> 00:38:35,499 Chicken? 293 00:38:36,167 --> 00:38:37,999 Ah, ham! 294 00:38:45,167 --> 00:38:47,499 - Chicken? - No, ham. 295 00:38:58,834 --> 00:39:01,124 - Doolittle? - Ya. 296 00:39:02,667 --> 00:39:07,374 You think we'll ever find any real intelligent life out there? 297 00:39:07,750 --> 00:39:10,916 - Out where? - You know... 298 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,999 Veil Nebula. 299 00:39:14,334 --> 00:39:15,999 Who cares. 300 00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:39,999 Hey... 301 00:39:40,834 --> 00:39:43,624 Did I ever tell you guys how I got on this mission? 302 00:39:43,709 --> 00:39:45,291 - Did I ever tell ya? - Yup. 303 00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,666 It's very strange, see... 304 00:39:48,959 --> 00:39:52,041 I wasn't an astronaut to begin with, see... 305 00:39:52,125 --> 00:39:53,249 See uh... 306 00:39:53,334 --> 00:39:56,124 You have to score a 700 on the SARE's for the 307 00:39:56,209 --> 00:39:59,749 Officer Corp and I made... 58. 308 00:39:59,834 --> 00:40:02,541 They put me on uh... liquid fuel maintenance 309 00:40:02,625 --> 00:40:05,249 on the launch pad so... uh, 310 00:40:05,334 --> 00:40:07,249 naturally, I was really disappointed. 311 00:40:07,334 --> 00:40:10,958 He told us this, uh, 4 years ago, didn't he? 312 00:40:11,292 --> 00:40:12,583 Anyway, I was on duty the day we... 313 00:40:12,667 --> 00:40:14,749 - No, I think it was 4 years ago. - ...launched the Dark Star. 314 00:40:14,834 --> 00:40:17,499 I was out, uh, scrubbing down the liquid fuel tanks. 315 00:40:17,584 --> 00:40:18,791 That's what I said. 316 00:40:18,875 --> 00:40:22,499 And this, uh, astronaut came running out. He was, uh... 317 00:40:22,584 --> 00:40:25,083 He was stark naked. He had his star suit in his hands and... 318 00:40:25,167 --> 00:40:27,499 Well, I surmised that he was insane. 319 00:40:27,584 --> 00:40:29,874 And uh, he... 320 00:40:29,959 --> 00:40:32,999 threw his star suit on the ground, and uh... 321 00:40:33,084 --> 00:40:36,041 jumped into one of my vats of liquid fuel. 322 00:40:36,125 --> 00:40:38,791 Which is... very dangerous. 323 00:40:38,875 --> 00:40:41,791 Well... I was pretty shocked, I can tell you! 324 00:40:41,875 --> 00:40:43,041 I didn't know what to make of it. 325 00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:45,916 Astronauts are all supposed to be... mentally stable and here 326 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,916 this guy comes along and jumps into my fuel tank. 327 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,374 Pass that, will you... No that one. 328 00:40:50,459 --> 00:40:53,374 Well, naturally, I was going to try to save him, so... 329 00:40:53,459 --> 00:40:55,958 what I did was put on his star suit for protection and I was going 330 00:40:56,042 --> 00:40:57,749 to leap into the vat. 331 00:40:57,834 --> 00:41:00,083 You guys... See? 332 00:41:00,167 --> 00:41:02,083 Uh... so what happened was... 333 00:41:02,167 --> 00:41:04,874 That before I could leap into the vat, this other guy came running along 334 00:41:04,959 --> 00:41:06,833 and he says, "Hey, Sergeant Pinback, 335 00:41:06,917 --> 00:41:09,583 you've got to board immediately because we're going to launch in 20 minutes!" 336 00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:11,749 You told us this 4 years ago! - And I tried to tell him that I 337 00:41:11,834 --> 00:41:13,124 wasn't really Sergeant Pinback, 338 00:41:13,209 --> 00:41:17,374 but I couldn't figure out how to make the helmet radio work. 339 00:41:18,209 --> 00:41:19,958 Funny thing... 340 00:41:20,334 --> 00:41:23,958 Ya know, I'm sure it was 4 years ago. 341 00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:27,583 Maybe. 342 00:42:22,584 --> 00:42:26,416 Lieutenant Doolittle, this is Talby. 343 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:28,249 Lieutenant?! 344 00:42:28,334 --> 00:42:30,124 Uh, yes, Talby, what is it? 345 00:42:30,209 --> 00:42:32,624 I'm sorry to interrupt your lunch, sir, but I'm in the computer room 346 00:42:32,709 --> 00:42:35,208 and I've located the malfunction. 347 00:42:35,292 --> 00:42:38,124 The scanner shows it to be a break in the communications laser, 348 00:42:38,209 --> 00:42:39,916 down by the emergency air lock. 349 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,124 I can't pinpoint it exactly, but I'm going down there 350 00:42:42,209 --> 00:42:44,333 with a starsuit and see if I can find it. 351 00:42:44,417 --> 00:42:46,583 Okay, sounds good, Talby. Look uh... 352 00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:50,666 if something important comes up, you let me know. 353 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,666 Why doesn't Talby ever eat down here with the rest of us? 354 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,541 He just likes it up in the dome, that's all. 355 00:43:05,209 --> 00:43:10,541 Talby... What's Talby's first name? 356 00:43:18,375 --> 00:43:20,874 What's my first name? 357 00:44:01,500 --> 00:44:04,083 This statement is for posterity. 358 00:44:04,167 --> 00:44:07,083 I just want to say that I am not Sergeant Pinback. 359 00:44:07,167 --> 00:44:10,916 My real name is Bill Froog and I'm a Fuel Maintenance Technician. 360 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,208 I've been on this mission now for 1 year and 3 months. 361 00:44:14,292 --> 00:44:18,499 Pinback's uniforms do not fit me. The underwear is too loose. 362 00:44:18,584 --> 00:44:22,416 I do not belong on this mission and I want to return to Earth. 363 00:44:26,417 --> 00:44:28,999 Commander Powell died today. 364 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,958 We were... We were going into hyper-drive. 365 00:44:33,042 --> 00:44:36,958 and... well, he sits right next to me and... 366 00:44:37,042 --> 00:44:40,499 well... something went wrong with the... 367 00:44:41,167 --> 00:44:44,458 When we came out of hyper-drive his seat mechanism had blown up 368 00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:46,166 and he was dead. 369 00:44:50,042 --> 00:44:53,583 Doolittle says he's assuming command of this ship and I say that's... 370 00:44:53,667 --> 00:44:54,791 I say that he's exceeding his authority 371 00:44:54,875 --> 00:44:56,874 Because I'm the only one with any objectivity on this ship and I 372 00:44:56,959 --> 00:44:58,416 should be the one to assume command! 373 00:44:58,500 --> 00:45:01,124 I'm filing a report on this to Headquarters, this is a lot of... 374 00:45:06,209 --> 00:45:09,541 I went up to Doolittle in the hall today. 375 00:45:16,542 --> 00:45:18,833 And I said... 376 00:45:19,875 --> 00:45:22,416 Doolittle. 377 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,874 He said... 378 00:45:25,042 --> 00:45:27,124 And I said, well... 379 00:45:31,334 --> 00:45:33,999 And he didn't get it! 380 00:45:34,917 --> 00:45:37,624 This mission has fallen apart since Commander Powell died! 381 00:45:37,709 --> 00:45:41,291 Doolittle treats me like an idiot! Talby thinks he's so smart. 382 00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:43,416 And Boiler punches me in the arm when no one is looking! 383 00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:46,083 I'm tired of being treated like an old washrag! 384 00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,916 I do not like the men on this space ship. 385 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,791 They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities. 386 00:46:07,875 --> 00:46:10,666 I have something of value to contribute to this mission 387 00:46:10,750 --> 00:46:13,083 if they would only recognize it. 388 00:46:13,167 --> 00:46:16,124 Today over lunch I tried to improve moral and build a sense of 389 00:46:16,209 --> 00:46:19,541 comradery among the men by holding a humorous round robin discussion 390 00:46:19,625 --> 00:46:22,208 of the early days of the mission. 391 00:46:22,292 --> 00:46:25,291 My overtures were brutally rejected. 392 00:46:25,375 --> 00:46:28,291 These men do not want a happy ship. 393 00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:33,458 They are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable. 394 00:46:33,542 --> 00:46:36,583 Last week was my birthday. 395 00:46:36,667 --> 00:46:40,041 Nobody even said Happy Birthday to me. 396 00:46:40,125 --> 00:46:44,666 Someday this tape will be played and then they'll feel sorry. 397 00:46:57,667 --> 00:46:57,833 Thank you for observing all safety precautions. 398 00:47:45,334 --> 00:47:47,624 There she is. 399 00:47:47,709 --> 00:47:52,499 Definite 99% plus probability that the planet will deviate 400 00:47:52,584 --> 00:47:58,124 from her normal orbit in another 12,000 rotations. 401 00:47:58,209 --> 00:48:02,791 - It'll spiral in toward its sun and... - Eventual supernova. 402 00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:05,833 Sounds good. Let's vaporize it. 403 00:48:07,500 --> 00:48:10,333 Bomb bay systems operational. 404 00:48:29,292 --> 00:48:31,833 Lock fail safe. 405 00:48:32,834 --> 00:48:36,124 Fail safe in lock. We have... 406 00:48:36,209 --> 00:48:38,749 8 minutes until drop. 407 00:48:38,834 --> 00:48:42,208 24 minutes to detonation. 408 00:48:42,292 --> 00:48:46,833 This is Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb #20. 409 00:48:46,959 --> 00:48:48,291 You read me, Bomb? 410 00:48:48,375 --> 00:48:50,416 Bomb #20 to Sergeant Pinback. 411 00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:52,874 Roger, I read you, continue. 412 00:48:53,875 --> 00:48:57,833 You are now in the Emergency Air Lock. 413 00:48:57,917 --> 00:49:01,208 Please remember that in an emergency situation, 414 00:49:01,292 --> 00:49:03,874 the Surface Door can be opened instantly 415 00:49:03,959 --> 00:49:06,749 without prior depressurization, 416 00:49:06,834 --> 00:49:10,916 so be sure to wear your starsuit at all times. 417 00:49:11,250 --> 00:49:15,749 Thank you for observing all safety precautions. 418 00:49:59,250 --> 00:50:01,374 Ah, lieutenant Doolittle? 419 00:50:01,459 --> 00:50:02,749 Sir? 420 00:50:02,834 --> 00:50:04,291 Sh, Talby, don't bother me. 421 00:50:04,375 --> 00:50:06,458 But I think this is important, sir. 422 00:50:06,542 --> 00:50:08,583 I think I found the malfunction. 423 00:50:08,667 --> 00:50:10,499 I'm in the Emergency Air Lock... 424 00:50:10,584 --> 00:50:11,916 Not now! 425 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,916 Well, I'm in the Emergency Air Lock and the hatch is... 426 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,124 4 minutes until drop, Bomb... 427 00:50:17,209 --> 00:50:19,916 Have you checked your platinum euridium energy shielding? 428 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,333 Energy shielding positive function. 429 00:50:22,417 --> 00:50:26,208 - Remember detonation time? - Detonation in 20 minutes. 430 00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:28,999 Alright, that checks out here. 431 00:50:29,084 --> 00:50:32,208 Okay, Bomb, arm yourself. 432 00:50:32,292 --> 00:50:33,666 Armed. 433 00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,208 Hello? 434 00:50:35,292 --> 00:50:36,999 Lieutenant Doolittle? Hello! 435 00:50:37,084 --> 00:50:40,041 Hello? Can you read me?! 436 00:50:42,917 --> 00:50:45,874 Communications Laser #17, 437 00:50:45,959 --> 00:50:48,958 monitoring the bomb drop mechanism, 438 00:50:49,042 --> 00:50:53,666 has now been activated and will switch into a test mode. 439 00:50:53,792 --> 00:50:55,958 If you will look near the Surface Door, 440 00:50:56,042 --> 00:51:01,166 you will see that the Parallax Receptor Cell has been engaged. 441 00:51:02,042 --> 00:51:04,083 The laser will now energize. 442 00:51:04,167 --> 00:51:08,083 Please stand clear of the path of the beam. 443 00:51:08,167 --> 00:51:13,624 Communications Laser #17 is now on test. 444 00:51:13,709 --> 00:51:17,708 Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams. 445 00:51:17,834 --> 00:51:20,458 Thank you for observing all safety precautions. 446 00:51:20,959 --> 00:51:24,124 Well then, everything sounds fine. 447 00:51:24,209 --> 00:51:26,958 Dropping you off in 75 seconds. Good luck. 448 00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,083 Thanks. 449 00:51:28,167 --> 00:51:31,874 I've got a quantum reading of 35-er. 3-5-er. 450 00:51:32,834 --> 00:51:34,333 I read the same here. 451 00:51:34,834 --> 00:51:39,333 Doolittle. Doolittle? 452 00:51:39,834 --> 00:51:41,624 I don't know if you can hear me. 453 00:51:41,709 --> 00:51:44,041 but I'm going to try to adjust the cue switch in the laser. 454 00:51:48,167 --> 00:51:51,833 Well... here it goes... 455 00:52:09,167 --> 00:52:12,791 Oh my god, my eyes! I can't see! 456 00:52:12,875 --> 00:52:14,458 Attention. Attention. 457 00:52:14,542 --> 00:52:17,041 - The laser has malfunctioned. - My eyes! 458 00:52:17,125 --> 00:52:20,124 Under no circumstances enter the path of the beams. 459 00:52:20,209 --> 00:52:27,457 To do so will cause immediate... 460 00:52:27,458 --> 00:52:30,749 Begin primary sequence. 461 00:52:33,917 --> 00:52:40,541 Mark at 1 0-9-8-7-6- 462 00:52:41,083 --> 00:52:47,999 5-4-3-2-1... drop. 463 00:52:48,083 --> 00:52:51,374 Negative drop. 464 00:52:51,458 --> 00:52:53,374 It's just sittin' there in the bomb bay. 465 00:52:53,458 --> 00:52:55,416 Try it again, Pinback. 466 00:53:02,417 --> 00:53:08,916 Mark at 5-4-3-2-1... drop. 467 00:53:10,417 --> 00:53:12,916 Negative drop! 468 00:53:16,417 --> 00:53:18,874 Rechannel all safety relays! 469 00:53:18,958 --> 00:53:21,374 - Open quantum latches! - Open circuit breakers! 470 00:53:21,458 --> 00:53:24,374 - Remove thrust drive repellant! - Automatic channels open! 471 00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:27,374 75-15, going to operation position! 472 00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:28,999 Remark. 473 00:53:29,083 --> 00:53:36,041 Mark at 5-4-3-2-1... Drop! Drop! Drop! 474 00:53:39,250 --> 00:53:43,124 Sittin' there. The damn thing's just sittin' there. 475 00:53:53,917 --> 00:53:56,707 This is lieutenant Doolittle Calling Bomb #20. 476 00:53:56,792 --> 00:53:59,374 I repeat previous order, you are to disarm yourself and 477 00:53:59,458 --> 00:54:01,832 return to the bomb bay immediately! Do you understand? 478 00:54:01,917 --> 00:54:05,707 I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes 30 seconds. 479 00:54:05,792 --> 00:54:08,374 Detonation will occur at the programmed time. 480 00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:10,374 What!? This is Doolittle. 481 00:54:10,458 --> 00:54:14,374 You are not to detonate, repeat, you are not to detonate in the bomb bay. 482 00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:17,207 Disarm yourself. This is an order. 483 00:54:17,292 --> 00:54:18,707 I read you, lieutenant Doolittle, 484 00:54:18,792 --> 00:54:21,332 but I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes. 485 00:54:21,417 --> 00:54:24,082 Detonation will occur at the programmed time. 486 00:54:27,125 --> 00:54:29,374 14 minutes to detonation. 487 00:54:29,458 --> 00:54:32,041 Attention. Attention. 488 00:54:32,125 --> 00:54:35,041 I have sustained serious damage. 489 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:37,082 Please pay close attention. 490 00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:40,041 The bomb has malfunctioned. 491 00:54:40,125 --> 00:54:42,874 I have activated automatic dampers, 492 00:54:42,958 --> 00:54:47,749 which will confine the explosion to an area one mile in diameter. 493 00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:50,166 This is all I can do at this time. 494 00:54:50,250 --> 00:54:53,249 It's up to you now. 495 00:55:03,583 --> 00:55:06,749 There's only one thing I can do. 496 00:55:06,917 --> 00:55:09,707 I have to ask Commander Powell. 497 00:55:09,792 --> 00:55:12,249 I have to ask him what to do. 498 00:56:17,417 --> 00:56:19,207 Commander Powell? 499 00:56:19,292 --> 00:56:22,374 Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Can you read me? 500 00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:29,374 Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. 501 00:56:29,458 --> 00:56:32,374 Something serious has come up, I have to ask you a question. 502 00:56:32,458 --> 00:56:36,249 I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle. 503 00:56:36,625 --> 00:56:40,207 It's been so long since anyone has come to talk with me. 504 00:56:40,292 --> 00:56:42,707 Commander, sir, we have a big problem. 505 00:56:42,792 --> 00:56:45,374 The uh, Veil Nebula bomb, Bomb Number 20, it's uh... 506 00:56:45,458 --> 00:56:48,041 It's stuck. It won't drop out of the bomb bay. 507 00:56:48,125 --> 00:56:49,874 It refuses to listen and it... 508 00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,541 It plans on detonating in... 509 00:56:52,625 --> 00:56:54,874 Less than eleven minutes. 510 00:56:54,958 --> 00:56:58,541 Doolittle... you must tell me one thing. 511 00:56:58,625 --> 00:57:00,791 What's that, sir? 512 00:57:00,958 --> 00:57:03,207 Tell me, Doolittle, 513 00:57:03,292 --> 00:57:06,624 How are the Dodgers doing? 514 00:57:08,625 --> 00:57:10,541 Well... the Dodgers, uh... 515 00:57:10,625 --> 00:57:14,207 They broke up, they disbanded over 15 years ago! 516 00:57:14,292 --> 00:57:19,207 - Ah... pity, pity... - But you don't understand, sir! 517 00:57:19,292 --> 00:57:21,874 We can't get the bomb to drop. 518 00:57:21,958 --> 00:57:25,207 Ah, so many malfunctions... 519 00:57:25,292 --> 00:57:29,541 Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me? 520 00:57:29,625 --> 00:57:33,541 Oh well... did you try the azimuth clutch? 521 00:57:33,625 --> 00:57:36,541 Yes, sir. Negative effect. 522 00:57:36,625 --> 00:57:39,707 - What was that, Doolittle? - Negative effect! 523 00:57:39,792 --> 00:57:42,541 - It didn't work? - That's correct, sir. 524 00:57:42,625 --> 00:57:44,541 Sorry, Doolittle. 525 00:57:44,625 --> 00:57:47,541 I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. 526 00:57:47,625 --> 00:57:49,207 So much. 527 00:57:49,292 --> 00:57:52,874 What should we do, sir? The time is running out! 528 00:57:52,958 --> 00:57:57,082 Well, what you might try is... 529 00:57:57,292 --> 00:57:59,082 Commander? Hello... Comman... 530 00:57:59,792 --> 00:58:01,541 Commander Powell?! Hello! 531 00:58:01,625 --> 00:58:03,541 Doolittle?... Hello? 532 00:58:03,625 --> 00:58:05,749 Sorry, sir, you faded out there for a little while. 533 00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:06,916 Sorry. 534 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,291 What was that you were saying about the bomb? 535 00:58:09,375 --> 00:58:15,957 Ah... it seems to me... Sorry, I've drawn a blank. 536 00:58:16,792 --> 00:58:19,041 Hold it. 537 00:58:19,125 --> 00:58:21,791 I'll have it again in just a minute. 538 00:58:22,125 --> 00:58:27,207 I forget so many things in here, ...so many things. 539 00:58:27,292 --> 00:58:32,124 Hold on, just a minute, Let me think... 540 00:58:34,208 --> 00:58:36,957 But you can't explode in the bomb bay. 541 00:58:37,042 --> 00:58:38,957 It's foolish. You'll kill us all. 542 00:58:39,042 --> 00:58:40,624 There's no reason for it. 543 00:58:40,708 --> 00:58:43,291 I am programmed to detonate in 9 minutes. 544 00:58:43,375 --> 00:58:46,207 Detonation will occur at the programmed time. 545 00:58:46,292 --> 00:58:48,291 Would you consider another course of action? 546 00:58:48,375 --> 00:58:50,416 For exampIe, just waiting around a while so we can disarm you? 547 00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:51,541 No. 548 00:58:51,625 --> 00:58:53,957 I can tell, that damn thing Just doesn't understand. 549 00:58:54,042 --> 00:58:55,457 Look, bomb! 550 00:58:55,542 --> 00:58:58,457 Commander, sir? You still there? 551 00:58:58,542 --> 00:59:02,457 Oh, yes, Doolittle... I'm thinking. 552 00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:05,124 We're running out of time, sir. 553 00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:11,124 Oh, yes... Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop... 554 00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:13,957 - ...you'll have to talk to it. - Sir? 555 00:59:14,042 --> 00:59:16,957 - Talk to the bomb. - But I have been talking to it, sir! 556 00:59:17,042 --> 00:59:19,082 And Pinback's talking to it right now! 557 00:59:19,167 --> 00:59:23,124 No, no, Doolittle, ...you talk to it. 558 00:59:23,208 --> 00:59:27,624 Teach it Phenomenology, Doolittle. 559 00:59:27,708 --> 00:59:28,999 Sir? 560 00:59:29,167 --> 00:59:32,124 Phenomenology... 561 00:59:32,208 --> 00:59:35,999 Doolittle! 6 minutes to detonation! 562 00:59:36,083 --> 00:59:37,666 Doolittle! 563 00:59:51,167 --> 00:59:54,999 Doolittle! Doolittle, what the hell are you doing?! 564 01:00:22,667 --> 01:00:26,124 Hello, Bomb, are you with me? 565 01:00:26,208 --> 01:00:27,457 Of course. 566 01:00:27,542 --> 01:00:30,082 Are you willing to entertain a few concepts? 567 01:00:30,167 --> 01:00:32,082 I am always receptive to suggestions. 568 01:00:32,167 --> 01:00:35,124 Fine. Think about this one, then... 569 01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:38,499 How do you know you exist? 570 01:00:41,167 --> 01:00:44,624 What the hell is he doin'? 571 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:46,791 I think he's talking to it. 572 01:00:46,875 --> 01:00:48,624 Well of course I exist. 573 01:00:48,708 --> 01:00:50,457 But how do you know you exist? 574 01:00:50,542 --> 01:00:54,124 - It is intuitively obvious. - Intuition is no proof. 575 01:00:54,208 --> 01:00:57,457 What concrete evidence do you have that you exist? 576 01:00:57,542 --> 01:00:59,624 Hmm... 577 01:00:59,708 --> 01:01:04,124 Well, I think, therefore I am. 578 01:01:04,208 --> 01:01:06,457 That's good. That's very good. 579 01:01:06,542 --> 01:01:09,457 But how do you know that anything else exists? 580 01:01:09,542 --> 01:01:13,124 - My sensory apparatus reveals it to me. - Ah... Right! 581 01:01:13,208 --> 01:01:14,457 This is fun. 582 01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:17,957 Now, listen, listen... here's the big question... 583 01:01:18,042 --> 01:01:19,124 How do you know... that the 584 01:01:19,208 --> 01:01:25,166 evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct? 585 01:01:31,167 --> 01:01:32,499 - The gun! - Gun?! Gun? 586 01:01:32,667 --> 01:01:34,457 The support pins on the bomb! 587 01:01:34,542 --> 01:01:36,207 Shoot the pins off! - No, Boiler, you're out of your mind! 588 01:01:36,292 --> 01:01:37,957 We can stop the bomb! Get out of my way, you idiot! 589 01:01:38,042 --> 01:01:40,624 I can shoot the support pins out and the bomb will fall away from the ship! 590 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:42,791 Get out of my way or I'll kick your teeth in! 591 01:01:42,875 --> 01:01:44,791 I can shoot those pins out and it will fall away from the ship! 592 01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:47,499 Get out the way! I can save the ship! 593 01:01:49,375 --> 01:01:50,624 Don't do it, Boiler! You're a bad shot! 594 01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:52,957 You'll hit the bomb! Doolittle's talkin' to the bomb. 595 01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:55,499 You're a bad shot! He'll save us. You can't do that! 596 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,416 What I'm getting at is this: 597 01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:02,916 The only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data. 598 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:07,291 And this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses which 599 01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:09,791 stimulate your computing center. 600 01:02:09,875 --> 01:02:11,957 In other words, all I really know about the outside world 601 01:02:12,042 --> 01:02:14,457 is relayed to me through my electrical connections. 602 01:02:14,542 --> 01:02:15,999 Exactly. 603 01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:19,832 Why... that would mean that... 604 01:02:19,958 --> 01:02:22,957 I really don't know what the outside universe is llke at all, for certain. 605 01:02:23,042 --> 01:02:24,457 That's it! That's it! 606 01:02:24,542 --> 01:02:25,791 Intriguing. 607 01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:27,666 I wish I had more time to discuss this matter. 608 01:02:27,750 --> 01:02:29,332 Why don't you have more time? 609 01:02:29,417 --> 01:02:31,499 Because I must detonate in 75 seconds. 610 01:02:31,708 --> 01:02:33,957 No, no, now, put it back! Put the gun back! 611 01:02:34,042 --> 01:02:36,124 You don't know what you are doing! 612 01:02:39,875 --> 01:02:41,332 Now, now give me the gun! 613 01:02:41,417 --> 01:02:43,332 You fool! I'm gonna shoot the pins out of the bomb 614 01:02:43,417 --> 01:02:45,332 and it will fall away from the ship and we'll be saved! 615 01:02:45,417 --> 01:02:48,374 Give me the gun, you don't know what you are doing? You're... 616 01:02:49,875 --> 01:02:52,374 You could have killed me... 617 01:02:52,875 --> 01:02:53,999 Now bomb... 618 01:02:54,083 --> 01:02:57,832 consider this next question, very carefully. 619 01:02:57,917 --> 01:03:01,999 - What is your one purpose in life? - To explode, of course. 620 01:03:02,083 --> 01:03:05,166 - And you can only do it once, right? - That is correct. 621 01:03:05,250 --> 01:03:08,166 And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you? 622 01:03:08,250 --> 01:03:09,332 Of course not. 623 01:03:09,417 --> 01:03:12,999 Well then, you've already admitted that you have no real proof of... 624 01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:16,166 - ...the existence of the outside universe. - Yes, well... 625 01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:20,499 So you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate. 626 01:03:20,583 --> 01:03:23,499 I recall distinctly the detonation order. 627 01:03:23,583 --> 01:03:25,499 My memory is good on matters like these. 628 01:03:25,583 --> 01:03:27,332 Yes, of course you remember it, but... 629 01:03:27,417 --> 01:03:30,166 But all you're remembering is merely a series of electrical impulses which 630 01:03:30,250 --> 01:03:34,832 you now realize have no real definite connection with, with outside reality. 631 01:03:34,917 --> 01:03:37,832 True, but since this is so, I have no proof that you are 632 01:03:37,917 --> 01:03:39,666 really telllng me all this. 633 01:03:44,875 --> 01:03:46,832 That's all beside the point. 634 01:03:46,917 --> 01:03:49,249 I mean, the concept is valid, no matter where it originates. 635 01:03:49,333 --> 01:03:50,332 Hmmm... 636 01:03:50,417 --> 01:03:51,999 - So if you detonate in... - 9 seconds. 637 01:03:52,083 --> 01:03:54,999 ...you could be doing so on the basis of false data. 638 01:03:55,083 --> 01:03:56,499 I have no proof that it was false data. 639 01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:59,541 You have no proof that it was correct data. 640 01:04:01,875 --> 01:04:06,541 I must think on this further. 641 01:04:12,542 --> 01:04:14,999 Attention. Attention. 642 01:04:15,083 --> 01:04:17,666 The bomb has returned to the bomb bay. 643 01:04:17,750 --> 01:04:21,041 The destruction sequence is aborted. 644 01:04:44,708 --> 01:04:48,666 Doolittle?... Doolittle? 645 01:04:48,750 --> 01:04:52,166 What happened? Pinback? Boiler? 646 01:04:52,250 --> 01:04:55,707 Did we blow it up? Hello? Hello? 647 01:05:05,750 --> 01:05:09,166 Hello, anybody! Did we blow up the planet? 648 01:05:09,250 --> 01:05:13,207 Hello, hello! What's going on? 649 01:05:15,250 --> 01:05:19,207 You know, we've really gotta disarm the bomb. 650 01:05:23,708 --> 01:05:26,666 Hello, Doolittle, are you there? 651 01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,166 I'm coming in now. 652 01:05:28,250 --> 01:05:30,666 I'm down by the Emergency Air Lock. 653 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,332 Too much trouble to come in the Dorsal Lock. 654 01:05:33,417 --> 01:05:36,332 Would you blow the seal on the emergency hatch so I can come in? 655 01:05:36,417 --> 01:05:38,374 Oh, sure. 656 01:05:40,417 --> 01:05:43,041 You are now leaving the Emergency Airlock. 657 01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:45,457 Thank you for observing all safety precautions. 658 01:05:49,292 --> 01:05:50,416 Hello, Pinback? 659 01:05:51,625 --> 01:05:54,124 - What's up, Doolittle? - Talby was in the air lock. 660 01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:58,166 You blew him out of the ship. He's drifting away without a jet pack. 661 01:05:58,250 --> 01:05:59,624 I'm going after him. 662 01:05:59,708 --> 01:06:02,332 Turn on his helmet radio so I can contact him. 663 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:03,999 What? What's wrong? I didn't hear... 664 01:06:04,083 --> 01:06:07,207 Uh, Talby. He's drifting away from the ship without his jetpack. 665 01:06:13,542 --> 01:06:14,666 Talby... 666 01:06:14,750 --> 01:06:16,666 Talby, can you read me? 667 01:06:16,750 --> 01:06:19,666 Can you beat that? I always knew that guy was weird. 668 01:06:19,750 --> 01:06:21,666 Talby, can you read me? 669 01:06:21,750 --> 01:06:24,874 Help, Doolittle, help me! 670 01:06:33,208 --> 01:06:35,874 All right, Bomb... 671 01:06:36,208 --> 01:06:39,166 - Prepare to receive new orders. - You are false data. 672 01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:42,166 - Huh? - Therefore, I shall ignore you. 673 01:06:42,250 --> 01:06:44,166 Hello, Bomb. 674 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,832 False data can act only as a distraction. 675 01:06:46,917 --> 01:06:48,832 Therefore I shall refuse to perceive you. 676 01:06:48,917 --> 01:06:50,332 Hey, Bomb... 677 01:06:50,417 --> 01:06:52,332 The only thing which exists is myself. 678 01:06:52,417 --> 01:06:56,666 - Doolittle! Help me. - Calm down. I'm coming. 679 01:06:57,708 --> 01:06:59,666 Snap out of it, Bomb. 680 01:06:59,750 --> 01:07:02,666 In the beginning there was darkness, And the darkness was without form 681 01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:04,499 and void. 682 01:07:04,583 --> 01:07:07,499 - Uh... you hoo, Bomb. - What the hell is he talking about? 683 01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:11,624 And in addition to the darkness there was also me. 684 01:07:11,708 --> 01:07:14,999 And I moved upon the face of the darkness. 685 01:07:15,083 --> 01:07:17,332 And I saw that I was alone. 686 01:07:17,417 --> 01:07:21,624 Hey... Bomb?... 687 01:07:21,708 --> 01:07:25,707 Let there be light. 688 01:07:38,708 --> 01:07:41,666 Doolittle, Doolittle, where are you? 689 01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:44,666 Here I am. I'm spinning... 690 01:07:44,750 --> 01:07:48,666 We're both falling in opposite directions, away from each other. 691 01:07:48,750 --> 01:07:49,999 What happened, Doolittle? 692 01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:52,291 The bomb must have gone off inside the ship. 693 01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:54,332 The ship blew up? What?! 694 01:07:54,458 --> 01:07:57,707 Funny, I thought I had the damn thing convinced. 695 01:07:57,833 --> 01:08:02,457 - Then Boiler... and Pinback? - They're dead, Talby. 696 01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:07,666 - Then we're dead, too. - Maybe not... maybe there's a way. 697 01:08:07,750 --> 01:08:12,249 Hey, hey my jetpack's busted. 698 01:08:12,333 --> 01:08:14,291 Aw, man... 699 01:08:14,417 --> 01:08:19,332 Hey... it looks like the skipper. He made it. 700 01:08:19,750 --> 01:08:21,999 Commander Powell made it! 701 01:08:22,083 --> 01:08:26,374 Men... men... what happened, men? 702 01:08:26,458 --> 01:08:29,374 Ya, the skipper always was lucky. 703 01:08:29,750 --> 01:08:32,457 Talby, looks like I'm headed for the planet. 704 01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:34,124 I'm going right toward it. 705 01:08:34,417 --> 01:08:39,041 When you hit the atmosphere, you'll start to burn. 706 01:08:39,708 --> 01:08:43,666 What a beautiful way to die... as a falling star. 707 01:08:43,750 --> 01:08:47,207 Guess you're right. 708 01:08:51,375 --> 01:08:54,166 Doolittle, I'm heading right toward something. 709 01:08:54,250 --> 01:08:59,707 It's behind me, in the distance. Something that glows. 710 01:09:00,542 --> 01:09:03,499 Doolittle... I think it's the Phoenix Asteroids! 711 01:09:03,583 --> 01:09:04,666 Phoenix? 712 01:09:04,750 --> 01:09:08,332 - It is, Doolittle, it's the Phoenix! - No kidding? 713 01:09:08,417 --> 01:09:12,832 I'm going into them! I'm going to hit them. 714 01:09:12,917 --> 01:09:14,666 - Doolittle... - Ya? 715 01:09:14,750 --> 01:09:18,332 Before we get too far apart, and our signals start fading, 716 01:09:18,417 --> 01:09:22,666 I just wanted to tell you... you were my favorite. 717 01:09:22,750 --> 01:09:25,666 I really liked you, Doolittle. 718 01:09:27,208 --> 01:09:29,332 I really liked you too, Talby. 719 01:09:29,417 --> 01:09:33,666 Hey, some debris from the ship! It's coming right by me. 720 01:09:33,750 --> 01:09:36,999 Doolittle, I'm going into them. 721 01:09:37,083 --> 01:09:38,999 I'm beginning to glow. 722 01:09:39,083 --> 01:09:42,999 They're taking me with them, with the Phoenix... 723 01:09:43,083 --> 01:09:46,291 I'll circle the universe... forever. 724 01:09:47,375 --> 01:09:49,666 I'm with them now... 725 01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:52,666 Be back this way again some day. 726 01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:57,166 Doolittle, before it's too late, 727 01:09:57,250 --> 01:10:01,041 there's one last thing I just want to tell you... 728 01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:05,707 Talby? 729 01:10:23,375 --> 01:10:25,666 Hey... Talby! 730 01:10:25,750 --> 01:10:27,666 I've got a piece of debris! 731 01:10:27,750 --> 01:10:31,124 and I think I've figured out a way! 56897

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