Original subtitles

The Runny

Script Hiroyuki Imaishi Shin Itagaki

Storyboard/Episode Direction Shin Itagaki

Key Animation Supervision Koichi Kimura

The city where love and desire fly freely.

Daten City.

Passing fads are part of the natural order.

What was coveted the previous day...

now looks ugly and faded. It's a mystery.

Through the ages, numerous fads have come and gone.

Are humans truly such fickle creatures?

Today's forecast is sunny with a big chance of "suji"-pollen.

Panty, you're doing it again...

Oh, haven't you heard?

It's the new Oscar Picker therapy.

Ecstasy for my nasal membrane...

Everybody famous is doing it.

As if, moron.

You're being fooled.

Anyway, don't pick your nose when I'm eating.

And you're eating that again.

How can you stand that stuff?

Why don't you try some?

This is Oscar Café's new specialty!

It sticks to your teeth, but it's crunchy at the same time!

This candy with its 108% concentrated egg cream and its subtle bitter taste...

will revolutionize the world of sweets!

A cutting-edge super candy!

The Sparkling Queen Nougat!

Hm...

Hey! They look the same! Don't they?

That's huge.

You're going to dehydrate yourself.

Really?

I-I'm reading a whole heap of gas in there.

What's this about, Geek Boy?

Nobody invited you.

Whoa!

And now my PKE meter's going off!

Shove it!

Are you trying to say that I'm a Ghost?!

Ew.

Achoo!

Achoo!

Damn, that's some nasty sneezing...

Well, well...

I spy a couple of fine ladies over here.

Are you enjoying our fare?

Oh, pardon the interruption.

I'm the owner of this cafe, Oscar H. Genius!

I would love to know your names.

Panty!

Stocking!

Ooh, what sexy names! Just the way I like 'em!

I'll invite you naughty girls to the Oscar Group's 108th Anniversary Party!

A lavish feast aboard my airship!

Party...

My name isn't sexy.

Sure it is!

And I must admit that our goal is to invite every customer here to the party!

Naturally, there will be an orgy of sweets...

Sweets...

Orgy...

Huh?

But it's flying away.

What are we supposed to do?

You don't need to worry.

Look.

The gas inside these will take us up there!

It's show-time!

Welcome!

To Oscar Party!

Sweetness...

This party is delicious.

All I see is sugar.

Boring.

You should hurry or the food will be gone.

Decide if you're gonna eat or pick your nose. I'm going with nose-picking.

I can't stop doing either!

Well, well, Miss Panty.

I see that you came.

Please join me in the special room.

That's exactly what I wanted to hear!

See ya, Stockin'.

Well?

How do you like that?

I love it!

How's this?

Not bad.

You definitely know how to please a man...

Then, I'll use my super flesh squeeze...

Oh my god! Yes! That's it!

Can you withstand my attack on your G-Spot?

I can't!

Yes!

I must say, that was good.

It wasn't a bad idea to try a different hole.

A new frontier.

After all, that was cutting edge sex.

Fucking by placing one person's nasal discharge into the other person's nasal cavity...

Fuck...

Fuckchoo!

Fuckchoo!

Your booger is irritating my nasal membrane...

A-Are you an angel?!

No more!

- I can't stop! - So good!

Can't stop!

What is this?!

I can't stop!

Fuckchoo!

Fuckchoo!

Damn that nasty booger of yours!

Now I'm only left with snot!

You're a Ghost?

I liked your technique in bed though!

Guess the cat's out of the bag!

But it's too late!

The owner was a Booger Ghost!

I know.

And why are you here anyway?

The Ghost is made of boogers assembled from around the world!

Whoa! This is off the charts!

Is this the Ghost of someone who suffocated to death on a booger?

Apparently, it's the Ghost of a man who tripped on a booger and kicked the bucket!

What's the difference?

It's an epidemic where anyone who's breathed in this dust will pick their nose...

until all of the water in their body has turned to boogers!

I can't stop!

What a terrible Ghost!

Both of my hands are occupied, so I can't read!

I can't even go to the bathroom either!

Oh no!

The Ghost is using a nosebleed to accelerate!

It's gonna use a two-stage rocket of gas and blood to hurl itself towards the moon!

There goes my nasal hymen!

Huh?

It's finally reached the last stage!

The Ghost intends to use the blood from our noses!

If everybody starts bleeding, the rocket will accelerate?!

My nose! My nose! My nose! My nose!

Hey! You too?!

Hold it in!

We're about to exit the atmosphere.

A-At this rate, we're gonna ram the moon...

- What do we do?! - What was that for?!

Angel boogers!

That's it!

Panty's boogers!

If we force her boogers into its nose...

and make him sneeze before we reach the moon,

we'll make it back to Earth!

Well said!

Now... blow, Panty!

There's nothing left! There's only blood up there!

I'll find some!

If you keep stretching my hole, it'll get all loose!

It's a little late for that!

- As clean as a whistle. - As clean as a whistle.

Here.

Uh, you can use this.

Seriously?

You've been collecting my boogers?

Gross! Ew!

I'll make you pay for this, but good job! Ew!

Let's roll, Stockin'!

Straight up his nose!

I know!

I'll cut the cabin free!

The cabin isn't part of the Ghost!

Look up! Above you!

Up there?!

Shit! I'm not wearing a skirt today!

Son of a bitch! I can't undo my belt with only one hand!

Stockin'!

Gotcha!

Idiot!

You made it accelerate!

Fine, whatever! I'll put my shorts back on!

Will Panty and Stocking be okay?

Take that! Take that! Take that!

Don't just stand there! Move it!

Carry half of it for me.

Phew, that's a load off!

Ah! A yummy nougat! Queen Nougat!

You go right, Stockin'!

I'll go left!

Ah! I can't throw this away when it looks like a nougat!

We're aiming for the nasal G-Spot!

Panty!

Fuckchoo!

Oh my...

It feels so good.

My finger came out.

No more!

Hey guys, which hole do you like it in?

Vomiting Point

Script Hiroshi Seko

Storyboard Osamu Kobayashi

Episode Direction Osamu Kobayashi

Key Animation Supervision Takashi Mukoda

The poster child for love, corruption, and debauchery.

Daten City.

To the west is Little Tokyo.

A glum city where glum people seek their glum happiness...

Memory Lane

and live a glum life.

May the glum find their joy!

Hm?

Oh, we're having some strange weather today.

Now, look here...

I really don't want to say this, you understand?

But how do you explain the fact that you only made two sales this month?

Ah...

I didn't want to mention this, but even the new guy, Ohmori, is doing a better job.

Sugita, Yokoyama, Terao, Ohmori, Kitagawa, Nose, Nakagami

Yes, sir.

Let's be honest, this can't be easy for you.

Yes.

Maybe it's time to hang up your hat.

Yes?

Now look...

It's difficult for me to keep saying these things to someone...

who's been working here longer than I have.

Considering everything you've done for this company...

Mr. Nishi, you have a call on line three.

Excuse me.

Hello, this is Nishi.

Oh, that's incredible.

Sanae...?

Oh, the one with the rack.

Isn't that the girl the president was chasing?

Huh? Again?

Gimme a break!

I'm not...

That won't do!

Huh? Are you sure?

Really?

Memo Book

Buy a birthday present for Nose

My boss told me to make more sales. Starting tomorrow, I'll work harder!

You see Bronson today?

He went too far!

You have to feel bad for Terao.

You know...

Terao got in through nepotism.

Jism?!

Idiot.

Nepotism.

During the war, the president was in a squad...

that was led by Terao's old man.

Oh...

That's why he hasn't been booted out for his poor performance.

But it's kinda sad.

He's over fifty and he's still working in an entry-level position...

I get chills when I imagine working in this job for the rest of my life...

Terao...

What?!

How long have you standing there?

I'm heading home now.

Um, Terao...

We're counting on you tomorrow.

Sure thing.

Yokoyama, you talk too much.

Seriously, you can never hear him coming.

That scared the life outta me.

He's like a ghost.

True. You can almost see through his body.

Final stop. Final stop.

Now, Dear...

Could you stop reading the paper?

Yes.

Hey, Daddy!

It's mah birthday tomorrow!

That's right.

It's the day you were born.

Guess what?

I wanna meet 'em.

Meet them?

Who do you want to meet?

Panty and Stocking!

Huh? Panty?

Fucking shithead!

Repent!

Bang! Hey!

Chi, we're eating dinner.

Mind your manners.

Yes, ma'am!

Oh, Grandma.

You're making a mess.

This is what happens when you act spoiled, Chi.

But Daddy was...

Oh, Grandma.

That's the sauce.

The Midnight News Show!

Today, our city was once again saved by those lovely sisters!

The mysterious "suji"-pollen was spread by the businessman Oscar H. Genius.

Panty... Stocking...

However, Panty and Stocking were able to defeat him on the surface of the moon.

What's wrong, Mika?

Whoa, what is this thing?

Hey, Ohmori...

Don't tell me that this is a birthday present for Mika.

It's from Terao!

What was he thinking?

Huh? What's this?

Guess what?

Mah birthday cake is awesome!

Oh, that's nice.

Daddy will come home with a present for you.

Yay!

I love you, Daddy!

Yeah, this is wrong.

It's fine...

I'm just a temp...

I'm not a formal employee!

What's this?

What's the matter, Mika?

I did tell Terao that Mika was interested in antiques...

This is wrong.

I-I'm so sorry!

I've caused Mika so much grief!

I'm truly sorry about this!

Um, well...

I shouldn't have forced you to choose a present by yourself.

Boss!

We should go for some drinks and kick back!

That's right, Mika!

Kick back!

I really want this thing.

What?

-chinko

All you can sing, all you can drink! 25 hours a day

Gimme the cheap stuff.

Tera, my man!

What's up with this?

Hey, Bronson!

You drinking?

Mika, here you are.

Well, I try to avoid alcohol...

Geez... That's why you're so...

Yes, yes. I'm...

Um...

I actually have plans tonight...

If I could be excused...

What?! Be excused?!

Don't you get it?!

Huh?

W-Wait! That's...

Oh, no...

You're the reason Mika was crying!

And you want to be excused?!

You know you want it.

No means no!

Don't make me laugh!

You get the tower!

Um, I don't drink alcohol...

You don't drink, you don't gamble...

You don't have the balls to pick up women...

Today is my daughter's birthday...

Never late, never absent...

But you can barely do your job!

The boss got in big trouble with his wife when she found out he was cheating.

You don't respect your job!

What? No way...

I get so pissed when I watch you!

I'll drink...

Huh?

I'll drink it all and go home.

Te...ra...o...

Incredible...

Then, I'll be going home...

Terao!

Happy birthday, Chi!

Another year older!

Wow! This is great!

Happy birthday, Chi!

Terao!

Terao!

Terao! You okay?!

Terao!

It's Nishi!

Man, what a relief, Terao.

You just keeled over.

Terao!

Whoa!

Daddy might not make it...

Sorry, Chi...

This is...

Fuckin' shit!

My new clothes are covered in vomit!

It's your fault for playing around.

But Mister Fucking Pukes-a-Lot was seriously pissing me off!

I know what you mean.

And the barf.

Um, excuse me...

Excuse me...

What?

Huh?

Uh, excuse me...

It's my daughter's birthday, so...

Old timer! You're interrupting something important here!

Can you stop wasting time please?

Let's chop this thing up and get home before my apple pie goes cold!

Bah.

Got it!

There.

And with this, we've finished off...

the three great nasties of the world!

Repent!

Seriously?

One Heaven?

Makes sense...

He was a weak fuck.

Excuse me...

Ch-Chi, she... Chi...

Why would we want to go to your shabby little home?

That old geezer completely lost it.

Well, you can't blame him.

It's not easy being famous.

Chi, it's three o'clock!

Tell Grandma to come down!

Okay!

Grandma! Grandma!

Terao...

I really don't want to say this.

Yes...

You haven't improved at all this month.

Yes...

Honestly...

It's difficult for me to keep saying these things...

to someone who's older than me!