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Oh, God
Look at Martha Stewart
2
00:00:08,224 --> 00:00:08,708
Page?
3
00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:10,007
42
4
00:00:10,007 --> 00:00:12,371
Wasn't it bad enough
we had to see her in a bathtub?
5
00:00:12,371 --> 00:00:13,909
Now here she is in
a pilgrim hat hockin'
6
00:00:13,909 --> 00:00:16,632
her farkakte holiday crap
It's ridiculous
7
00:00:16,632 --> 00:00:18,411
- Makes me sick
- I love her
8
00:00:18,411 --> 00:00:20,600
I wish I was her
9
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,151
Maybe it's just Thanksgiving
I hate
10
00:00:22,151 --> 00:00:23,791
You know
the whole holiday family thing
11
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,673
It just makes me so tense
12
00:00:25,673 --> 00:00:26,706
I swear if you
put a piece of coal
13
00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:30,064
between my butt-cheeks today
by Hanukkah, it'd be a diamond
14
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,107
Oh, I doubt that
15
00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:34,978
I'm so glad we're doing our own
Thanksgiving this year
16
00:00:34,978 --> 00:00:36,478
Best decision
we ever made
17
00:00:36,478 --> 00:00:38,919
We are officially no longer
owned by our families
18
00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:39,917
Hey, you know what?
19
00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:42,002
Let's catch our
own turkey this year
20
00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:43,490
Great. I'll meet you
in the freezer section of
21
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:46,015
the Gristede's with a big net
22
00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:49,550
Hello?
23
00:00:53,963 --> 00:00:56,603
Hello
J.P. McFarph here
24
00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:59,060
- Who?
- You like that?
25
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,260
A little something
I'm trying out
26
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,904
I think it sounds
more distinguished
27
00:01:01,904 --> 00:01:05,244
You know, like H.R. Pufnstuf
28
00:01:05,244 --> 00:01:07,062
Hang on
Let me get off the other line
29
00:01:07,062 --> 00:01:08,289
Lawrence, I gotta go
30
00:01:08,289 --> 00:01:11,137
But I had some more gossip
for you about Christopher
31
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:13,698
Here's a hint
he had something raised
32
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:16,054
and something lowered
33
00:01:16,054 --> 00:01:17,908
- Hold, please
- Holding
34
00:01:17,908 --> 00:01:18,692
- Hey
- Hey
35
00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:20,346
Did you get my message
about Thanksgiving at my place?
36
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,388
Yeah, about that
Um, I can't make it
37
00:01:22,388 --> 00:01:24,510
I'm spending Thanksgiving
with the Chung-Poviches
38
00:01:24,510 --> 00:01:27,327
and the Gurley Browns
They will get crazy
39
00:01:27,327 --> 00:01:28,488
if I try to back out on it
40
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,923
What about in the real world?
41
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,003
Oh, in the real world
I'm available, yeah
42
00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:34,386
But you have to come with me
to my stepfather's hotel
43
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:36,580
He's in town for, like
the first time in forever
44
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,915
and he wants to meet Elliot
45
00:01:37,915 --> 00:01:40,962
No. No, I don't want to go
This is my anti-family year
46
00:01:40,962 --> 00:01:42,859
Please!
My mom is making me
47
00:01:42,859 --> 00:01:45,038
If I don't go, she won't
pay half my rent
48
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,059
I pay half your rent
49
00:01:47,059 --> 00:01:49,286
Yeah, so does Karen
50
00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:51,952
Come on
It's 30 minutes alone
51
00:01:51,952 --> 00:01:53,882
in a hotel room with a stranger
52
00:01:53,882 --> 00:01:57,194
God, I miss the eighties
53
00:01:56,131 --> 00:01:58,320
Oh. Hang on
Hello?
54
00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:58,966
- Hey
- Hey
55
00:01:58,966 --> 00:02:00,210
You know
you hung up on me before
56
00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:01,440
Yeah
whatever
57
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,383
Look, my mom didn't get the part
she wanted in the Schenectady
58
00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:06,190
Women's Center production
of Queen Lear
59
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:07,435
She's really depressed
60
00:02:07,435 --> 00:02:09,245
so we have to make a quick stop
at my Aunt Honey's
61
00:02:09,245 --> 00:02:10,625
in Brooklyn on Thanksgiving
62
00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:12,301
We?
Grace
63
00:02:12,301 --> 00:02:13,646
if I wanted to be around
depressed women
64
00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:15,224
I'd go to Connecticut
and hang out with my mother
65
00:02:15,224 --> 00:02:16,654
and her sisters, the haters
66
00:02:16,654 --> 00:02:18,493
Please! If I go alone
who am I gonna give
67
00:02:18,493 --> 00:02:20,029
my aren't-these-people-nuts look to?
68
00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:21,427
The nuts themselves?
69
00:02:21,427 --> 00:02:24,311
Hold on
Grace Adler Designs
70
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,373
Oh, honey
change that blouse
71
00:02:26,373 --> 00:02:29,695
You work in an office
not a pirate ship
72
00:02:29,695 --> 00:02:30,922
You can't even see me
73
00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:32,539
Oh, can't I?
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00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:34,825
Turn around
75
00:02:35,858 --> 00:02:37,763
Made you look!
76
00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:39,987
Listen, I got your message
about Thanksgiving
77
00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,246
and you can count me in
78
00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:41,568
Great
79
00:02:41,568 --> 00:02:42,599
The only thing is I need to
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00:02:42,599 --> 00:02:44,042
make a quick stop
at the prison
81
00:02:44,042 --> 00:02:45,974
I gotta bring Stan
a couple of turkeys
82
00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:48,247
and a bib made of
mashed potatoes
83
00:02:48,247 --> 00:02:49,840
- And I want you to come with
- Oh, I can't
84
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,351
I have to get dinner
ready and then I have
85
00:02:51,351 --> 00:02:52,832
Oh, great
That's fantastic
86
00:02:52,832 --> 00:02:55,818
Well, thanks
ListenI'll just go to the prison alone then
87
00:02:55,818 --> 00:02:57,248
Where my husband is...
88
00:02:57,248 --> 00:02:59,023
On Thanksgiving
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00:02:59,023 --> 00:03:00,750
Alone
90
00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:02,203
Prison
91
00:03:02,203 --> 00:03:03,461
Husband
92
00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:05,088
Thanksgiving
93
00:03:05,088 --> 00:03:06,780
Alone
94
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,040
Alone!
Prison!
95
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,137
Aren't you gonna
say anything?!
96
00:03:09,137 --> 00:03:10,628
Hold on
97
00:03:10,628 --> 00:03:13,178
Hey, so will you go with
me to Aunt Honey's?
98
00:03:13,702 --> 00:03:16,067
Ok, but then we're gonna
have to stop by my family's, too
99
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,122
- Why?
- Because... If my mom
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00:03:18,122 --> 00:03:19,808
ever finds out that
we did yours and not hers
101
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,269
she'll--she'll summon a winter
102
00:03:21,269 --> 00:03:24,722
that'll last a thousand years
Oops. I got Jack. Hold on
103
00:03:24,722 --> 00:03:25,222
Hey
104
00:03:25,222 --> 00:03:27,200
Do not leave me
on hold that long!
105
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,411
That might've been fine
for Jack McFarland
106
00:03:28,411 --> 00:03:30,512
but J.P. McFarph will not
take this guff!
107
00:03:30,512 --> 00:03:31,648
Ok, listen
108
00:03:31,648 --> 00:03:33,194
I'll go to your stepdad's with you
109
00:03:33,194 --> 00:03:37,029
if you go to my parents' house with me
and Grace's Aunt Honey's house with her
110
00:03:37,029 --> 00:03:39,095
- Ok
- Cool. Hold on
111
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,195
- Hey
- Hey
112
00:03:40,195 --> 00:03:42,478
Ok, I'll go to Aunt Honey's with you
if you'll go to my parents' with me
113
00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:45,123
and we have to stop
by Jack's stepdad's with him
114
00:03:45,123 --> 00:03:46,462
Ok, you go to Aunt Honey's with me
115
00:03:46,462 --> 00:03:48,946
I go to your parents' with you
and Jack's stepdad's with him
116
00:03:48,946 --> 00:03:51,707
And then we can go with Karen
real quick to visit Stan in prison?
117
00:03:51,707 --> 00:03:53,548
- Why not?
- Great
118
00:03:53,548 --> 00:03:54,480
- Hey
- Ho
119
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,658
I think we got it
I'll go to prison with you
120
00:03:56,658 --> 00:03:58,623
if you go to my Aunt Honey's
with me and Will's parents' with him
121
00:03:58,623 --> 00:04:00,187
and Jack's stepdad's with him
and then we'll all come back
122
00:04:00,187 --> 00:04:01,653
and have a
nice Thanksgiving dinner, ok?
123
00:04:01,653 --> 00:04:02,001
No
124
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:03,980
- What?
- I don't wanna
125
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:05,895
- But-- I-- Then
- Oh, ok
126
00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:07,847
- Great
- Hey, ok
127
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,885
I think we got it
I'll see you later
128
00:04:09,885 --> 00:04:12,126
Right. Jack, that'll be the plan
See you later
129
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,597
Yeah
Talk to you later
130
00:04:17,731 --> 00:04:21,025
Mother, can you get the door?
I'm on hold
131
00:04:21,321 --> 00:04:25,353
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Moveable Feast(part1)
132
00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,546
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133
00:04:27,546 --> 00:04:30,447
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134
00:04:30,447 --> 00:04:35,400
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135
00:04:44,253 --> 00:04:50,944
Grace, while I got it out
want to start a family?
136
00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:52,466
You know what's funny
about that?
137
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,361
- What?
- No, I'm asking
138
00:04:56,578 --> 00:05:00,249
- Happy Thanksgiving, people
- Happy Thanksgiving
139
00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:02,740
oh, what smells so good?
140
00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:05,027
Well, I did a little something
with the stuffing this year
141
00:05:05,027 --> 00:05:07,689
- This sort of aromatic
- Oh, no. Here it is
142
00:05:09,781 --> 00:05:11,931
Rosario, thanks for coming
Look. We're gonna be out all afternoon
143
00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:13,863
so it's really important you
gotta baste the turkey like
144
00:05:13,863 --> 00:05:15,631
every 20 minutes or so
145
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:19,852
You told me we were going to
Tony Roma's and then to a late movie
146
00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:21,496
Oh, we're going to a movie
147
00:05:21,496 --> 00:05:22,740
Yeah, it's a dirty flick
148
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:25,992
It's called Rosie Does Dishes
149
00:05:26,188 --> 00:05:27,449
Ok. Let's get going
150
00:05:27,449 --> 00:05:29,643
and let's try to keep
the eating to a minimum
151
00:05:29,643 --> 00:05:32,129
not spoil our appetites by gorging
on everybody else's turkey
152
00:05:32,129 --> 00:05:34,036
and stuffing and pecan pie
153
00:05:34,036 --> 00:05:35,798
Why do you look at me
when you say that?
154
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:37,537
Who should I be looking at?
155
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:39,488
Me
156
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,687
Ok, I figure we each get one hour
We'll set this timer
157
00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:44,543
and when it goes off
158
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:46,055
We're out of there no matter what
159
00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:50,499
We do not respond to guilt
shame, tears, or flattery
160
00:05:50,499 --> 00:05:52,693
Why do you look at me
when you say that?
161
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:54,838
Who should I be looking at?
162
00:05:54,838 --> 00:05:56,434
Me
163
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,871
So, listen for the ding
164
00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:01,484
That loud, piercing
high-pitched sound
165
00:06:01,484 --> 00:06:04,298
Why do you look at me
when you say that?
166
00:06:08,023 --> 00:06:12,178
We respond only to the ding
because only the ding will set us free
167
00:06:12,178 --> 00:06:15,199
Understand?
Let's try it
168
00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:24,997
Well, this piece fell off already
169
00:06:26,122 --> 00:06:31,746
But if I get this knife
this piece will come right off
170
00:06:44,979 --> 00:06:46,876
Ok. Karen
one hour
171
00:06:46,876 --> 00:06:47,782
I don't mean to rush you
172
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:48,694
but if we're gonna get back
in time for dinner
173
00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:50,400
we've all got to
stick to the plan
174
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,772
You gays and your discipline
175
00:06:53,772 --> 00:06:57,127
No wonder you
all end up in the clergy
176
00:06:58,702 --> 00:06:59,883
Ok, Kar
Let's go
177
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:02,362
Oh, no. That's ok, honey
I'll go alone
178
00:07:02,362 --> 00:07:04,540
Besides, you're not really
dressed for prison
179
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:06,178
Too nice?
180
00:07:06,477 --> 00:07:08,836
Sure, let's go with that
181
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,173
Happy Thanksgiving
Mr. Walker
182
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:19,810
I brought you a turkey
and if you look inside
183
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:22,453
I hid a little surprise
in there for you
184
00:07:22,453 --> 00:07:24,876
A chicken
185
00:07:25,639 --> 00:07:27,240
What's that, hon?
186
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,701
You miss the kids?
187
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:32,833
Ok. Here they are
188
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:44,967
Oh, you're welcome
Mr. Walker
189
00:07:46,375 --> 00:07:49,586
Come on. What?
Well, of course, Stanley
190
00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:52,549
You can talk to me
about anything
191
00:07:54,569 --> 00:07:56,993
I hope you don't mind, Will
I had some of your water
192
00:07:56,993 --> 00:07:58,903
I didn't have a water
193
00:08:00,366 --> 00:08:02,468
Not mine
194
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:06,123
And Karen doesn't
drink water
195
00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:10,305
Oh, my God!
Rental-car-stranger water!
196
00:08:11,113 --> 00:08:13,729
Oh, my God!
How do I know this was water?
197
00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:15,158
You know
when boys go on road trips
198
00:08:15,158 --> 00:08:16,023
they don't make pee-stops
199
00:08:16,023 --> 00:08:19,428
They just use a water bottle
Oh, my God!
200
00:08:19,428 --> 00:08:22,883
Grace, don't you think
you would've noticed
201
00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:26,454
if you were drinking pee?
202
00:08:30,613 --> 00:08:32,690
There's still 40 minutes left on the timer
What happened?
203
00:08:32,690 --> 00:08:34,062
Oh, we were done
204
00:08:34,062 --> 00:08:36,009
There's really not much left to say
after your husband tells you
205
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:39,258
he wants you to start sleeping
with other people
206
00:08:41,627 --> 00:08:44,535
That's intense
207
00:08:44,535 --> 00:08:47,497
I did it again!
208
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,032
He must be kidding
209
00:08:55,032 --> 00:08:57,078
What exactly did Stan say?
210
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,610
He said he wasn't sure
how long he was gonna be
211
00:08:59,610 --> 00:09:01,208
in there and it wasn't fair
212
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,304
to ask me to wait for him
213
00:09:03,304 --> 00:09:06,988
He wants me to be sexually
satisfied while he's in prison
214
00:09:06,988 --> 00:09:10,881
I don't know why
He certainly didn't care while he was out
215
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,847
Maybe it's..
It's not called cheating
216
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,676
if you have permission
217
00:09:16,676 --> 00:09:20,110
Yeah, maybe
it's just called fantastic
218
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,137
Well, it doesn't matter
219
00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:23,764
Even if, at this very moment
his cellmate is tattooing
220
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,224
"Property of Javier"
on Stan's fat wide ass
221
00:09:26,224 --> 00:09:30,079
with a hot ballpoint
I'm a one-man woman!
222
00:09:30,826 --> 00:09:35,128
Woman?
I think you mean "lady."
223
00:09:36,417 --> 00:09:38,304
Ok, listen
We're getting close to Aunt Honey's
224
00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:39,136
so I need to brief you
225
00:09:39,136 --> 00:09:42,193
Whatever you do
do not tell my mother
226
00:09:42,193 --> 00:09:44,147
that Nathan and I broke up
227
00:09:44,147 --> 00:09:45,590
You haven't told her?
228
00:09:45,590 --> 00:09:48,701
You see how I went up
at the end, like I cared?
229
00:09:49,326 --> 00:09:51,089
Look, she always said that
I was wasting my time with him
230
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,922
and there's nothing
she loves more than saying
231
00:09:52,922 --> 00:09:55,443
"I told you so."
She's so obnoxious
232
00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:57,992
She even has a little
told-you-so dance
233
00:09:57,992 --> 00:10:00,974
Grace, you have
an I-told-you-so dance
234
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:03,019
Yeah, well...
but mine's cute
235
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,741
Everyone thinks so
236
00:10:04,741 --> 00:10:07,388
Who's everyone?
237
00:10:07,388 --> 00:10:10,227
Shouldn't you be looking
for a parking space?
238
00:10:10,586 --> 00:10:12,302
The only good news is
that my mother's still depressed
239
00:10:12,302 --> 00:10:13,923
about not getting that
part in Queen Lear
240
00:10:13,923 --> 00:10:15,575
so there's a chance
she won't sing
241
00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:21,121
Am I blue?
242
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:26,545
Are these tears
in my eyes tellin' you?
243
00:10:26,545 --> 00:10:30,050
We'll back out real slow-like
I don't think we've been spotted
244
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:32,354
- Look who it is!
- Oh, hey!
245
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:35,702
- My Gracala. Come here
- Aunt Honey!
246
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:40,708
I have to kiss everybody
twice like in France
247
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,717
Hello, darling
I'm very depressed
248
00:10:42,717 --> 00:10:44,147
We don't have to
talk about it
249
00:10:44,147 --> 00:10:45,553
Ok
250
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,364
Sorry we're late
251
00:10:47,364 --> 00:10:50,161
We had to walk a mile and
a half from Will's parking space
252
00:10:50,161 --> 00:10:53,017
Uh, excuse me
Will's kick-ass parking space
253
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:57,526
Yeah. On the corner of
"Urine" and "Crime Spree."
254
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,458
Ok, everyone
These are my friends
255
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,520
Jack, Karen
You all know Will
256
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,732
- Hello
- Hi. Oh, bonjour
257
00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:08,901
Ok. Oh, wonderful
Oh, I love the whole kitschy thing
258
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,283
you got going on here
259
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,388
What do you mean, kitschy?
260
00:11:12,930 --> 00:11:18,332
I meant Kitschy-kitschy-koo look at you
261
00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:19,916
Ok. Introductions
262
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,572
Uncle Sid, Aunt Reba
Uncle Joe, Uncle Funny
263
00:11:22,572 --> 00:11:27,126
Acid reflux, I.B.S
bursitis, phlebitis
264
00:11:28,443 --> 00:11:32,566
Julius! And this is Julius
my mom's pianist
265
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,074
Pianist
266
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:37,629
Hello
267
00:11:37,629 --> 00:11:40,409
- Oh, uh, we've met
- And so we meet again...
268
00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:42,951
For the first time
269
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,121
So, you're the boyfriend
270
00:11:46,121 --> 00:11:46,977
No, actually
271
00:11:46,977 --> 00:11:47,863
I'm not the boyfriend
272
00:11:47,863 --> 00:11:51,339
- He's the boyfriend
- God, no!
273
00:11:51,339 --> 00:11:52,983
Where's the boyfriend?
274
00:11:52,983 --> 00:11:54,690
Yeah, where is the boyfriend, or
275
00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:58,523
as I like to call him
"It'll end in tears."
276
00:11:58,523 --> 00:12:00,138
His name is Nathan, mom
277
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:03,497
and he's with his own family
How are you?
278
00:12:03,497 --> 00:12:05,893
Well, I guess for someone
who's been kicked in the knockers
279
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,629
by the business that I devoted
my entire life to, I'm ok
280
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:13,146
I'm ok
I'm devastated
281
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:16,327
Thanks for comin
282
00:12:16,841 --> 00:12:20,104
I saw that
What are you taking?
283
00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:23,818
Give me one
I got a really bad back
284
00:12:25,634 --> 00:12:29,776
I guess these things
can be used for pain
285
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,502
So, how'd you hurt your back?
286
00:12:34,502 --> 00:12:38,263
Runnin' away from good taste?
287
00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:45,930
You got some mouth on you
288
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:47,622
It so happens
that I strained
289
00:12:47,622 --> 00:12:52,808
it during a round of passionate
lovemaking with my super, Mr. Lopez
290
00:12:52,808 --> 00:12:55,688
I'm committing adultery
291
00:12:55,688 --> 00:12:59,334
and I had a cousin
who was in a car accident
292
00:12:59,334 --> 00:13:01,113
When they opened him up
293
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,606
can you guess
what they found?
294
00:13:03,606 --> 00:13:06,257
A smaller cousin?
295
00:13:07,881 --> 00:13:09,937
What is that?
How could they find a smaller cousin
296
00:13:09,937 --> 00:13:12,722
inside my cousin?
297
00:13:12,722 --> 00:13:15,997
I was really just
I was just joking
298
00:13:15,997 --> 00:13:18,577
Why would you joke
about such a thing?
299
00:13:18,577 --> 00:13:20,924
I'm telling you a story
about my cousin
300
00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:22,616
who was in a car accident
301
00:13:22,616 --> 00:13:24,494
He's dead now, in fact
302
00:13:24,494 --> 00:13:28,292
Still funny
Mr. Jan Murray?
303
00:13:29,432 --> 00:13:32,032
So, this super
304
00:13:32,032 --> 00:13:33,430
How good are
we talkin' here?
305
00:13:33,430 --> 00:13:36,133
Let's just say everything
in the building is broken
306
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:39,497
but I still call him "super."
307
00:13:40,584 --> 00:13:42,041
I mean, there's really
nothing stopping me
308
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:43,947
My husband did
give me permission
309
00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,577
Well, my husband gave me
permission, too
310
00:13:45,577 --> 00:13:51,541
Ever since he spent our
entire nest egg on a Toyota MR2
311
00:13:52,819 --> 00:13:54,340
I tell ya, Jackie
312
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:58,046
It's a rough business
10% talent, 20% looks
313
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,774
and 70% is luck of the draw
314
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,834
God, that's so depressing
315
00:14:03,834 --> 00:14:05,725
I mean, you want to believe
316
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:09,359
that sexual favors
play some part in it
317
00:14:10,253 --> 00:14:14,376
I'll never be happy again
It's over for me
318
00:14:14,376 --> 00:14:19,132
I may not even audition
for The Ice Person Cometh
319
00:14:19,132 --> 00:14:21,311
Hey, Bobbi. Come on
Cheer up
320
00:14:21,311 --> 00:14:21,849
No
321
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:25,277
Huh? It's not that bad
Smile a little bit
322
00:14:25,277 --> 00:14:28,609
Come on, at least
Nathan dumped Grace
323
00:14:29,713 --> 00:14:32,035
What?
324
00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:35,455
Crap
325
00:14:35,455 --> 00:14:38,688
Oh, sweetheart
I'm so sorry
326
00:14:38,688 --> 00:14:41,228
What? What just happened?
What?
327
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:43,270
How you must feel
The pain
328
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:45,176
Dumped by a bran flake
329
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,074
What?!
How do you!
330
00:14:47,074 --> 00:14:48,919
Jack
331
00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:51,380
Wait, Before you say anything
332
00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:55,021
let me just ask you this
333
00:14:57,014 --> 00:14:58,041
Sweetheart
334
00:14:58,041 --> 00:14:59,592
no. Get away from me, ok?
335
00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:00,775
Oh, now, come on, now
336
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,784
A woman needs to be with
her mother at a time like this
337
00:15:02,784 --> 00:15:04,550
Mom, just stay where you are
Julius, will you please help?
338
00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:07,561
no. I never come between
a woman and her mother
339
00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:10,269
I made that mistake
with my first wife
340
00:15:10,269 --> 00:15:11,964
What?
341
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,730
Oh, honey
I know how awful it is
342
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,930
that it didn't work out
for the two of you
343
00:15:16,930 --> 00:15:18,684
and I'm afraid that
I have to say
344
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,406
No
Don't say it
345
00:15:20,406 --> 00:15:22,128
Oh, well
I think I have to say it
346
00:15:22,128 --> 00:15:23,661
No, mom
347
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,879
I am really, really
really vulnerable right now
348
00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:27,709
Well, maybe
I don't have to say it
349
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,303
- I'll just do the dance
- No, mom. please
350
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,560
I told you so
351
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,067
I told you, told you
told you so
352
00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:34,372
You can't act!
353
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:38,296
- What?
- You stink!
354
00:15:38,296 --> 00:15:39,684
I just wish that
I had said this to you
355
00:15:39,684 --> 00:15:40,637
before your audition so that
356
00:15:40,637 --> 00:15:42,559
I, too, could know
the joy of saying
357
00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:43,800
"I told you so."
358
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,569
Told you so
Told ya, told ya, told ya so
359
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:49,008
Gotta go. Love you
Call me tomorrow
360
00:15:49,008 --> 00:15:50,969
Have a good
Thanksgiving
361
00:15:55,629 --> 00:15:57,727
It's the one thing
I asked you not to do!
362
00:15:57,727 --> 00:15:59,404
The woman was depressed
363
00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:01,124
I felt it was my duty
as a fellow thespian
364
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,754
to turn her mask of tragedy
365
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,630
into one of comedy
366
00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:07,615
I'm gonna hurt you
Right now
367
00:16:07,615 --> 00:16:12,117
Hey! That's enough!
It's over!
368
00:16:12,117 --> 00:16:13,640
Wait, Slow down
369
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,637
I know it's right along
here somewhere
370
00:16:15,637 --> 00:16:17,863
I can never remember
which building is Elliot's
371
00:16:17,863 --> 00:16:21,290
Could it be that one he's standing
in front of and waving?
372
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:24,803
No, that's not it
373
00:16:24,803 --> 00:16:30,054
We might be
on the wrong street
374
00:16:30,054 --> 00:16:33,436
- Oh,Hey, Elliot
- Hey, Elliot
375
00:16:33,436 --> 00:16:36,423
Here
My mom made you a pie
376
00:16:36,423 --> 00:16:38,514
Um, she's not
a very good cook
377
00:16:38,514 --> 00:16:41,847
It started out a taco salad
378
00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:46,598
Hey Kid
Ever cheated?
379
00:16:46,598 --> 00:16:49,012
once on
an algebra quiz
380
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:51,111
Did it feel good?
381
00:16:52,353 --> 00:16:55,524
I got a 90
382
00:16:57,422 --> 00:17:00,378
Ok. fasten your
seat belts, folks
383
00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:03,271
You are about to
meet my stepdad
384
00:17:03,271 --> 00:17:07,963
A man whose cruelty is exceeded
only by his inability to love
385
00:17:07,963 --> 00:17:09,901
Well, that sucks
386
00:17:09,901 --> 00:17:14,162
I'm just sayin' he's like ice
He's the meanest man alive
387
00:17:14,162 --> 00:17:16,793
Welcome!
Welcome!
388
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:18,577
I'm so thrilled to finally
meet Jack's friends
389
00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:21,168
Hi, how are you?
Good to see you
390
00:17:21,168 --> 00:17:23,580
Jackie!
391
00:17:24,266 --> 00:17:25,444
Father
392
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:28,433
You're looking distant and shaming
393
00:17:29,608 --> 00:17:30,737
Ok
394
00:17:30,737 --> 00:17:31,946
So, you must be Elliot
395
00:17:31,946 --> 00:17:33,127
Nice to meet you
396
00:17:33,127 --> 00:17:34,126
Please
Make yourselves at home
397
00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:36,520
I brought some food up
I got some drinks there
398
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,580
I'm just so glad
you're all here
399
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:41,121
As they say at my friend
Sue Casa's house
400
00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:44,119
mi casa es su casa
401
00:17:44,861 --> 00:17:47,292
He barely knows Sue Casa
402
00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:49,174
Help yourselves
403
00:17:50,016 --> 00:17:51,938
Karen, want something to drink?
404
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:55,584
No. I'm thinking about
cheating on Stan
405
00:17:55,584 --> 00:17:58,054
That means a double vodka
406
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,223
So, Jack
I got you a little something
407
00:18:04,171 --> 00:18:08,577
I wonder what this
could be Your approval?
408
00:18:11,053 --> 00:18:13,300
No, doesn't feel heavy enough
409
00:18:15,381 --> 00:18:18,059
Ok. So tell me, Elliot
410
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:19,457
What do you do for a living?
411
00:18:19,457 --> 00:18:21,008
Uh, I go to seventh grade
412
00:18:21,008 --> 00:18:22,954
Oh, that's a good job
You married?
413
00:18:22,954 --> 00:18:26,675
- Divorced
- Me, too
414
00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:29,887
I'm divorced, too
I guess nobody cares about that!
415
00:18:29,887 --> 00:18:31,454
Jack, it's the holidays
416
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:32,636
Let's have a little fun around here
417
00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:34,235
Elliot. Can I get you some juice?
418
00:18:34,235 --> 00:18:35,184
Oh, what is that
supposed to be?
419
00:18:35,184 --> 00:18:37,254
some, like, weird dig at me?
Like, juice? Like, fruit juice?
420
00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:39,748
Like, ooh, I'm gay?
421
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:42,193
Oh. Oh
before I forget
422
00:18:42,193 --> 00:18:44,580
I didn't have time to wrap it
423
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:45,935
but here
424
00:18:45,935 --> 00:18:49,893
I hope you like... Football!
425
00:18:49,893 --> 00:18:52,947
He doesn't like it at all
426
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:57,577
Yeah, I do
I love football
427
00:18:57,577 --> 00:18:59,463
I'm on the team at school
and my mom hates it
428
00:18:59,463 --> 00:19:01,386
Oh, hey, moms are
supposed to hate it
429
00:19:01,386 --> 00:19:02,953
Jack wasn't a big fan of it either
430
00:19:02,953 --> 00:19:03,887
when he was growing up
431
00:19:03,887 --> 00:19:05,532
I gave him a ball once
for his birthday
432
00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:06,698
and he put it in his shirt
433
00:19:06,698 --> 00:19:07,948
and told everyone
he was pregnant
434
00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:11,836
with George Michael's baby
435
00:19:40,948 --> 00:19:43,791
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436
00:19:43,791 --> 00:20:06,689
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Will & Grace �ڸ���
437
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,415
thank
438
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:18,415
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