All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S02_E02.WEBRip.x265

Okay, I read to Ally.

Thanks for putting her to bed
for me, Ray.

It's been a really long day.

I read her Rapunzel.

Good for you.

Yeah? I don't know.

Kidding around, I said,
"If you live in a tower

"and there's no shampoo

"and your hair gets long enough
to climb on

it might get... disgusting."

Yeah.

So Ally wants a haircut.

We'll get her a haircut.

Now.

Ray, don't tell me,
I have to go--

'I'm ready, Mommy.'

I gave her a dollar
to tip you with.

Act surprised.

Hi, I'm Ray, and I live here in
Long Island with my wife, Debra

my six-year-old daughter
and twin two-year old boys.

My parents...

...live across the street.

That's right.

And my brother lives with them.

Now, not every family
would defy gravity for you

but mine would because--

Everybody loves Raymond.

Hey, you didn't...

Okay, Ally. Daddy's going to be
home any minute with dinner

so let's clean up.

Sweetie, why don't you take all
your dolls off the table

and wash your hands, okay?

'Grandma, look.'

Ally, please clean up.

Oh. Isn't that nice?

What's this one, a streetwalker?

No, she's an aerobics
instructor, Marie.

She's dressed for the gym.
Ally. Can you look at me?

Are you having trouble
listening?

Come on.

This is from Nemo's, so let's
get to it

before it eats through the bag.

Help Ally get ready for dinner, please.

And can you get rid of them?

- Hey, guys.
- Daddy's home.

- Time to go home now.
- Hey. I'm watching the game.

I think they're beaming it
into your house, too, Dad.

Dad's taping Channel 5
over there.

Five? Why? What's on 5?

He wants to catch that commercial

for the chicken restaurant.

The one where it's so good

the chicken goes there to eat
it?

- I'm dying to see it.
- Ray, please.

We're all dying here.

We're eating, man. Come on, go.

Ally, don't make me
keep asking you, sweetie.

'Get the toys picked up
and your hands washed.'

Hey. Look, there it is.

'May I take your order?'

Dad, did I tell you?
It's a killer.

You didn't lie.

Ally, I'm done asking you.
I want the toys picked up now.

No!

If you don't do
what I'm telling you right now

you can forget about dessert.

Ooh. No dessert.

I don't want any stupid dessert.

- Oh, my.
- Sure you do.

Ray, I can't take this anymore.
Could you handle it, please?

I got it. Alright.

Ally, wash your hands
and do what...

- Don't make Mommy mad.
- No.

Look, you have to do
what Mommy says.

- Why?
- 'Cause I do.

Grandma's got some candy
for a girl who cleans up.

- No candy, Mom. Come on.
- Come on, come on.

Mom, you don't pay her upfront.

Just watch. Alright, now,
honey, clean up, sweetheart.

No.

Candy always worked.

I don't know what Debra's done
to this child.

Look, just let me handle it, alright?

Ally. I'm gonna give you
to the count of three.

If you don't start picking up
your toys, no TV for a week.

- Geez.
- Whoa, whoa.

One.

Two.

I'm not kidding. One, two...

This is it.

Two-and-a-half.

Two-and-three-quarters.

Let me tell you something, Ally.
I don't know any more fractions.

Three. That's all.
No TV for a week.

No!

What happened?

I handled it, alright?
Everything worked out.

'I hate you!'

Okay, folks, let's keep it
moving. Show's over.

Nothing more to see here.
Come on. Let's go.

What's wrong with you?

How can you yell at your child
in front of other people?

Don't you know
how humiliating that can be?

I hate you.

Hey, lucky pants.

Thank you very much, Ray.

You're welcome.

What did I do?

You know, I haven't had
a minute to myself all day.

When you take TV away from Ally,
you're punishing me, too.

How?

You know what my day was like?

It went something like this,
"I wanna watch TV."

"No."

- "I wanna watch TV."
- "No."

Lunch.

- "I wanna watch TV."
- "No."

"Hey, lucky pants."

That's me.
That's where I came in.

What are you gonna do for me
next, Ray?

Take away her nap time?

When a kid misbehaves,
you take away something

that's important to her.

What would you have done?

Honestly, I have no idea.

Then I think we shouldn't dump
on the people who have ideas.

Okay, here's an idea, then.

"Parent Effectiveness Training.

Coping with your child's
behavioral challenges."

Where did you get this?

They were sticking them on the
windshield at Chuck E. Cheese's.

Come on. Look, we don't need
classes. We're great parents.

Alright, you're a great parent,
and I'm your lovely assistant.

I don't feel
like a great parent.

Great parents don't find themselves

in the supermarket going

"We don't throw plums."

I need a class.

- We need a class.
- A parenting class?

That's supposed to come natural.

That would be like taking a
smelling class.

So you have nothing
to learn here?

Come on.

My mom and dad
never took a parenting class.

I'm signing them up for this.

So if you've ruled out any
medical problem

and your child
is still wetting the bed

he may be trying to tell you something.

He's telling you,
"I have to pee."

I think we're gonna wrap it up
for tonight

'but before we do,
are there any other questions?'

- 'Yes, Debra.'
- Yeah. Um...

We have a six-year-old daughter,
and she's a great kid

but she's been having trouble listening

and she's been
very stubborn lately.

- That's every kid.
- It's not

It's just a phase, right?

This is a perfect opportunity
for you

to try some active listening.

- Thank you. We'll try that.
- Wait a second.

Active listening? I'm not
familiar with that.

It's encouraging your child
to express herself verbally

without influencing her
with your own

preconceived notions
or opinions.

Got it. Here we go.

Why don't we try
to illustrate this

with a little role-playing?

- Let's have you. Ray, is it?
- No.

Yeah.

Why don't you come
to the front of the class?

Why don't you go?
Why don't you go, Deb?

You'll be fine. Don't be shy.

Now wait. Let's just say that
I'm your daughter

and I refuse to go to visit
Grandma on her birthday.

In this case,
I happen to know Grandma

and I can't say I blame you.

Just hypothetically, Ray,
alright? Focus.

Let's just say, Ray,
that you want to get

from your daughter
what she's feeling.

Go ahead.

Do it.

Okay, daughter.

You have to go
to Grandma's house.

I'm not going.

You have to go.
It's her birthday.

I hate when
you make me do things!

I'm not making you go, okay?
It's Grandma's birthday.

There aren't gonna
be many more of them.

I'm gonna stop you just for a
second, Ray. Um...

You see,
I don't think at this point

we need to discuss
Grandma's mortality.

What are you doing, Ray?

- I'm playing the game.
- It's not a game.

It's okay. It's okay.

If I say to you, "I hate
when you make me do things"

perhaps you could acknowledge

my feelings by saying
something like

"You feel you don't have any
control over our plans."

'You understand?'

That doesn't sound like
something I would say.

Just takes a little practice.
Come on. Let's keep going.

Yeah, let's, let's...

All my friends are going to the
park, but I have to go

to some boring party?

You think that the
party's gonna be boring?

That's it, Ray.

See, you're reflecting her
feelings back. Yes.

It's just a bunch of grownups
sitting around an old house.

I want to be with my friends!

But Grandma has that big bowl
of Coffee Nips.

I don't care,
and you can't make me.

- What are you doing?
- I'm not going.

- Please get up.
- Why do I have to go?

- I don't know.
- But why?

Because I said so!

That was big when I was a kid.

- Mommy said you gotta go.
- Leave Mommy out of it.

Thank you.

- You better get up or--
- Or what?

- Or no more TV.
- No, Ray.

Okay. Or you're going to
boarding school.

- Do you always threaten?
- No.

- No, sometimes she yells.
- Ray.

I'm sorry. We've run out of
time. Thank you all for coming.

I'll see you next week.

Ray and Debra, I'd like you
to stay after class, please.

- I think we need to talk.
- Nice going.

- What, my fault?
- You raised your hand.

Chicken.

- What are you doing?
- We've got homework to do.

No. No. I'm not doing any
stinking homework.

You are the reason
we got the homework.

You're the brownnose
that had to ask a question.

I'm trying to learn here, Ray.

Am I supposed to do
these exercises by myself?

Can you?

- No. You gotta do them with me.
- Come on.

Look, this time, you be the kid.

- It'll be less of a stretch.
- Okay.

You think you can take me on?

Okay, here. This is perfect.

You're 12 years old, and you
refuse to shovel the snow

off the driveway.

Uh...

Could you please shovel the
driveway?

No.

Okay, I understand, because
shoveling the snow can be hard.

Yes, so why are you asking?

Because you're a member of this
family and we help each other.

Yeah. Tough noogies.

- Alright, time-out.
- What?

Time-out!

Are you being Ray, the little
kid or Ray, the big ass?

I'd like to be both.

- Can we just do the exercise?
- Go ahead.

Um...

Okay, I know that you feel that
making you shovel is unfair.

Yes. I have to shovel the snow,
I have to take out the garbage

I have to load the dishwasher,
while you're up in bed

not sleeping with Daddy.

Well, we all have chores we
don't like to do.

But in the future, little Ray

if you feel that you have too
much to do, you just tell me

and I'll try to make things
more even.

So how about that driveway?

I'm too tired right now.
I win.

Ray, this isn't about winning
or losing.

Oh. You know who always says
that? The loser.

I am just trying to do
this active listening stuff

and you are not playing right.

You're gonna
say that to your kid?

It's obvious you're trying to
screw it up.

- Well, I'm a real little kid.
- Yes, you are, and no TV.

- Ah-ha. See?
- Come on.

- No TV. That's all.
- Yes.

See, you couldn't do it, either.

Yes, you are right.
You are right

I just stink at the whole thing.

Come on. It'll be okay.

Come on.

I'll shovel the snow.

It's not that. It's just that

when we got home tonight,
I tried this stuff on Ally

and it didn't work on her

and it's not working on you, either.

It's just not working.

Come on. Don't worry.
It'll be okay.

It's alright.

I'm flunking the class, Ray!

You're flunking?

Listen, don't worry
about the class.

I told you
we didn't need a class.

The answer to how to stop plum
throwing is not in a workbook.

This is a seat-of-the-pants
operation here.

What are we gonna do? How are
we gonna get Ally to behave?

The crying is pretty good.

- Hey.
- Ray, get in on some of this.

What's she doing,
just laying out a buffet now?

This is supposed to be
for the week.

You'll cook some more.

Oh? Go ahead, honey.
You look hungry.

- I'll heat up the ziti.
- When you were baby-sitting...

Did you change the
twins' pajamas?

Yeah. They're over here.

I wanted to treat
some of those old spots.

We have a washing machine, Ma.

Yeah, I know, but stubborn
stains need special care.

Maybe you can take a
class on that.

I gotta go to grandparenting
class at 3:00.

Today we're learning "got your
nose" and "pull my finger."

Make sure you don't miss the
seminar on moving to Florida.

Ma, get me the pajamas, please.
And the ziti.

Frank, what the hell is this?

I'm not ready for ice cream yet.

This is our tax refund check.

It was stuck to the
bottom of the ice cream.

You've been on my back
for a month

telling me that I lost it.

I'm not the one who eats
ice cream in this house.

- You eat ice cream.
- Tofutti. I eat Tofutti.

You tell your friends
you eat Tofutti

but then you eat my ice cream.

Take a look at the Tofutti.

There's not a dent
in the Tofutti.

If I do eat ice cream,
and I'm not saying that I do

I put it in a bowl like a
person, not on the table

where it gets stuck to an
important check

that somebody
accuses me of losing.

In class, we
were just doing this.

Why can't you just admit
this is your fault?

Because I don't lose things.

- I'm organized.
- Not organized. Insane.

She's got a shoebox labeled

"Pieces of string
too small to use."

That I should tie
together into a noose.

I got a beam all picked out!

Yeah, I got a step stool
for you.

Wait. Just listen here
for a second. Wait.

So, Dad, you think
Mom's being unfair?

That's right.
It's always my fault

when she can't find something.

Because I work like a dog
to keep this place straight

and he messes it up
with all his projects.

Ice cream's a project?

You think Dad's being inconsiderate.

Have you met your father?

What about your consideration?
Do I ever get any thanks

for all the stuff
I do around here?

Like what? What is it you do?

- Didn't I fix the thing?
- That's true, Ma. He did.

So Dad's feeling unappreciated.

- That's right.
- Come on.

I don't appreciate you?

How do I know?

Yeah, evidently,
Dad isn't hearing "thank you."

He wants "thank you"?

This isn't "thank you"?

I guess Mom's saying, "Actions
speak louder than words."

That's very good.

But sometimes we need to hear
the words.

- Yeah. I need words.
- And I don't need words?

I'm sorry the check
got stuck to the Chubby Hubby.

You never said that before.

No one's ever said that before.

- I appreciate you.
- Thanks.

Holy crap. It works.

- The pot roast's ready.
- Great.

I love your mother's pot roast.

Oh. I'm gonna get an "A" here.

Careful, it's hot.

Mm-mm.

How is it, chi-chi?

Chi-chi like.

What did you do?

Debbie, you're
not gonna believe this.

Why did you do this, Ally?

- This is terrible.
- Great.

This is Michael's giraffe.
He's crying.

Now why did you do this?

- 'Cause.
- "'Cause" is not an answer.

- Active listening.
- Ray, that doesn't work.

It works. I just used it on the
worst kids in the neighborhood.

Would you...
Look at this. Look what she did.

Try it. Try it.

- No, Ray!
- Okay, you want me to do it?

No, no, no, I'll do it.

Okay. Ally, let's talk about
what you did.

I don't wanna talk.

- Are you feeling angry?
- Reflect back.

- You're angry?
- Yes.

Okay, but it's not okay to rip
up toys when we're angry.

Ah-ah. Judgmental.

You are angry because...

Because it used to be your toy.

- Yes.
- Huh.

I don't like Michael
and Geoffrey.

I see. I see.

You think that Mommy and Daddy

pay too much attention
to Michael and Geoffrey.

Ray. Okay, I was handling this.

- They get everything.
- Right, and you're upset.

Because we gave them
your old giraffe.

I still liked it.

But you weren't playing with it.

That doesn't matter, though

because it was still yours,
and you're mad

because we gave it to Michael
without asking you, right?

Right.

Well...

Mommy and Daddy made a mistake,
and everybody makes mistakes.

- Right, Mommy?
- Yes. Yes, yes.

- You feel better now, Ally?
- Yes. Can I have the giraffe?

- Well, it's broken, honey.
- I know.

I want to try to fix it
for Michael.

Oh-ho.

- Here, sweetie.
- Thank you, Daddy.

- See how I did that?
- Yeah. Can't believe it.

It's pretty amazing. You did it.

Anything else need taken care
of while I'm around here?

- No.
- What? What's the matter?

Nothing with you, obviously.

Don't go by me. I'm a natural.

- Don't worry. You'll get it.
- Oh. Yuck.

Oh. Don't act
so proud of yourself.

If I hadn't dragged you
to that stupid class

you'd still be standing there
going, "Hey. No TV."

You're feeling inadequate
'cause I mastered it before you.

Don't give me that
active listening crap.

Where do you get off
listening to me?

Never happen again.

It's chickens eating chickens.
That's why it's funny.

I...

- You got any Kleenex?
- Don't give him any.

We got five boxes
open over there.

They're all halfway down.

The tissues
don't pop up anymore.

You reach in,
your hand gets stuck in the box.

'Your hand
gets stuck in the box'

because you shove it
in like an animal.

Watch this. So, Ma,
you think Dad's being wasteful

and Dad, you think
Mom's being unreasonable.

And a nag.

A nag?

You bitter, miserable man.

Why do you think that is?
Why do you think that is, Marie?

- I'm sleeping here tonight.
- Good!

Nice job, Professor.

No TV.